Why don't others reply, what is the underlying issue here?

Hello! I'm so happy I can answer your question. I really hope some of my suggestions can help you.

It's so great to be able to reflect on a situation like this. Let's take a look at it together and see if it applies to your situation.

I always care when people don't reply to messages from important people, but I'd love to understand the deeper problem here.

I know it can be frustrating when someone doesn't reply, but why do I care if they don't?

I totally get why you're asking yourself why it's so strange that someone doesn't reply to you.

And then you might even start to think it's your fault.

It's totally normal to have these doubts. We can try to think outside the box and try to figure out why the other person isn't responding.

For example, maybe the other person is just really busy and doesn't have time to reply to your message.

Or perhaps the other person just forgot to reply to your message.

Or perhaps they just don't know how to reply to the message.

It's possible that the other person is also feeling a bit stuck, wondering, "Oh, what should I say? Or, "I'm not sure how to respond. Will the other person mind if I don't reply?"

It's possible that while we're expending energy on our own internal struggles, the other person is also facing their own internal challenges.

This made me think of a program on the Spring Festival Gala last night that I think you'll really enjoy! It's about a boss who sent a message and then thought for a long time about how to reply. It turned out to be a very simple matter. Sometimes, we could have known the answer with one phone call or by asking one more question. It's not as complicated as we thought! The other person also didn't have complicated thoughts when sending the message.

So when the other person doesn't reply, it could be that they're just trying to figure out how to reply. It's not about not replying or being reluctant to reply to your messages.

Secondly, it's important to think about whether this is something that only happens with one person or with all messages.

Let's take a moment to think about how we react when we're dealing with people who are important to us. Maybe it's our parents, our partners, our close girlfriends, or even our brothers. If they don't reply to us after we send them a message, we might have thoughts like this:

But if it's someone else, like a normal colleague, a leader, or some information that's not very relevant, we won't have this kind of internal conflict.

Then we just need to make sure we're not dwelling on the fact that they didn't reply. Instead, let's think about what this person means to us, why we have different expectations of them than we do of others, and how we hope they'll get along with us.

And finally, we just need to take a moment to examine ourselves to see if we have such situations.

For instance, we might not reply to a message right away, or it could take a little while, maybe two or three hours or even half a day.

At this point, the other person might also feel a bit awkward, wondering why they haven't heard back from me after I sent a message. So, they'll probably do the opposite and not reply to our message either.

So, what we need to do now is clear up the misunderstanding. For example, I could let the other person know why I didn't reply to their message right away or what I've been up to. That way, they'll know why I didn't reply and that I'm replying now.

When it's us sending the message, we can give each other a friendly little nudge. If it's an emergency, we can wait an hour or ten minutes before typing again to ask the other person if they've seen the message we sent. If they have, they'll reply right away!

If you're looking forward to hearing back from the other person, you can send a little reminder at the end of your message, like, "Please reply when you get a chance!"

This way, we can figure out if the other person hasn't had a chance to read the message yet, or if they pretended not to read it and didn't reply after reading it, or if they were busy and forgot after reading it, thinking they had replied mentally. In this case, our second message can be a friendly reminder to let the other person know that they haven't answered us yet.

There's another special case, too: the type of person who doesn't like to reply to messages.

For example, I'm the type of person who rarely replies on WeChat. My friends have been with me for more than ten years and are familiar with my habits, so they don't mind if I don't reply to messages. And if they are looking for a chat with me, or if the topic is related to me, then I will definitely respond after I see it. Or, I will respond when I want to respond.

Then this is a social relationship. We need to understand the other person's character first. For example, my other best friend likes to play games. She might be on the game all day except for work hours, so she has no way to reply. Then we'll know that it's not that she doesn't reply immediately, or that her lack of response is because she doesn't want to deal with us, but that she is busy.

So let's figure out what's going on. We need to rule out the causes of force majeure. Then we can think about why the other person isn't replying to the message and whether there's something we could have done to make them remind us in this way.

But here's the thing: just because you don't reply, does that mean you don't have to keep seeing that person?

We still need to think about the actual situation. The situation we've looked at above is something that's out of our control, or a more objective and reasonable reason, which has caused the lack of response. We're definitely not to blame, and it's not wrong of the other person to act this way, so it doesn't involve whether or not to forgive the other person.

It's so important to have a mutual understanding between friends, family members, and partners. We need to understand each other's habits, even things like working hours and personal habits.

But if it's a different story and he's deliberately not replying or just not that interested in us, then it might be time to think about whether we should continue the relationship or not.

For example, some people like to use cold violence. I saw your message, I know you're waiting for my message, and I know what I'd like to reply to you, but I just don't want to reply to you, let you wait, and make you suffer.

If that's the case, it might be best to consider breaking off communication with that person.

But we can't really know what's going on in their mind, since we can't see them and they can't tell us what they're thinking.

It's so important to understand each other when we're communicating face-to-face. That way, we can make sure we're on the same page and know what's going on.

For example, in the course of my relationship with my friends, they have known for a long time that I don't like to reply to messages. Then one of my best friends asked me why I never reply to her messages. I told her the reason, so that we can understand each other better.

We can take the initiative to ask the other person, for example when we meet next, or we can even give them a call and say, "Hey, I just sent you a message. I said that I sent you a message on WeChat last time, but you didn't reply. I'm wondering if you were busy?"

If the other person can't give a reason or even an excuse, it might be that they're not able to establish a close, regular relationship with us.

I really hope that by sorting things out, you can find a way to handle things that suits you. That way, your social interactions will become more and more smooth and comfortable.

I love you, world! And I love you, too!

Hello, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to help.

I have also sent messages to important people before, and I expect a anxiety/why-dont-others-reply-what-is-the-underlying-issue-here-2175.html" target="_blank">reply within a day.

I sent him a new message the next day, and he replied: he had missed my message the day before and hadn't replied in time.

Then I knew that since that person is the head of a personal training program at the gym,

He likely receives a lot of messages every day.

This can lead to him being too busy to reply.

Don't assume that if someone doesn't reply to your message, it means you've done something wrong.

He was simply busy at the time.

It's possible he was on his day off and busy with his own things before replying.

I want to know if there's any possibility of what I said.

When others don't respond to our messages, we get anxious. It's about our sense of security.

This is a result of our growth process.

Seek help from a professional psychological counselor if necessary.

A counselor is a professional who can provide better advice.

I am confident that you will find a solution to your problem soon.

That's all I have to say on the matter.

I am confident that my above answer is helpful and inspiring to you, the questioner. As the answerer, I can assure you that I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, the world and I love you. Best wishes!

I am confident that I can help you.

Hello! I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar!

I am so happy to have seen your request for help! I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help.

Everyone has the amazing psychological need to be wanted, cared for, and noticed, especially by the people we care about most, such as our parents and partners. When they value, care about, and recognize us, it makes us feel incredible—like we are valuable, loved, and good enough!

But here's the good news! As adults, we get to understand that no one can always give us the response, care, attention, and companionship we expect, because everyone has their own things to do. This is true even for our parents and partners.

So, be aware of your desire for an important other to respond to you in a timely manner. If they are unable to respond, what is your inner feeling at that moment? What is the hidden need behind these feelings that makes you uncomfortable?

Absolutely! You can give yourself this part of the response and satisfaction through your own learning and growth.

From your description, I can see that when someone you care about, someone important enough to you, doesn't respond to your messages in time, you will attribute the reason to yourself not being good enough. This cognitive attribution model must have originated from the way you were raised during your growth, that is, your parents may have emotionally neglected you too much and been insensitive. For the child at that moment, you would attribute your being left out and ignored more to being not good enough. This is out of the child's greater emotional and material dependence and reliance on the parents and the child's instinctive loyalty and love for the parents. But here's the good news! You can change this pattern. You can heal this part of your emotional and emotional deprivation through your own active learning and growth.

Today, you have a certain understanding of these inappropriate needs in your relationships with others, and you are willing to make changes. Then you can heal that part of your emotional and emotional deprivation through your own active learning and growth—and you will!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

Hello. When you send a message to someone important and don't get a reply, it's natural to feel that something is wrong. It's easy to think that there may be something wrong with you, which can make you feel confused. There are likely several factors involved:

Let's be real. We can't know the motives and thoughts of others, even close ones. And we can't fully understand them (or even ourselves). When we interpret others, we project ourselves onto them. We project our own perceptions and feelings onto the other person.

If you believe that you should reply to every message from someone important to you as soon as you get it, and you do so, then you can expect the other person to think and act in the same way. When the other person's behavior does not match your expectations, you may feel surprised and find it hard to understand.

However, everyone's personality and interpersonal habits are different. Perhaps your partner doesn't think that a good relationship means replying to every message. Some people even think that the more familiar you are with someone, the more casual you can be. They don't always check their phone, and when they do, it's been a while, so they think it's probably fine.

On the other hand, you may also feel insecure in the relationship. When the other person doesn't respond or responds too late, you may wrongly assume that they are rejecting you. If you believe that they are rejecting you, you may then question whether you have done something wrong and caused this situation.

Past experiences often shape our perceptions and behaviors in relationships. If you were conditioned to receive positive attention through certain actions as a child, you may have developed a belief that your partner's lack of attention or response indicates your unworthiness.

You said that if the other person doesn't respond, you'll stop dating them. You're right—in a relationship, you have the right to make your own choices. If you feel that the other person's actions aren't meeting your expectations or have crossed your boundaries, you can choose to distance yourself or communicate with them and express your feelings. If there's no way to improve the state of your relationship, you can choose to separate.

You can also choose to understand your differences with the other person more deeply, express your thoughts to them while also listening to what they think, and see if you are willing to give each other some space and time to make some adjustments and take a step closer to each other.

The splitting up and getting back together, the closeness and distance in a relationship are not about right and wrong, good and bad. They're about differences, compatibility, and personal choice. You can make your own choice based on your own needs and feelings.

You think the other person is important and have been demanding. It's your fault.

You have to decide if you should stop communicating with someone who doesn't respond to your messages. Feelings are independent, but personality is more important.

If you stop messaging someone, they won't be disappointed.

Since you've started living together, you'll have demands on each other. A demand is taking and transforming.

Responding to someone's request can be stressful.

Let's take an example.

If someone borrows something from you, they have to take care of it. It doesn't belong to them, and they can't damage it. You also have to worry about whether it will be damaged during the loan period.

Even if the other person returns it on time, you have nothing to gain.

You don't have to lend something to someone.

You don't have to lend something if you don't have to or there's no reason to.

It doesn't matter if the other person is important or not. Asking them to respond to your message is a demand.

Once you make a demand, you can't make it go away by making demands on yourself. As long as you make demands on the other person, they decide whether or not to respond.

Once you make a request, you can't stop it. The other person is overwhelmed.

The other person can't escape either.

If the other person has to respond, external demands can lead to disappointment.

Asking for things leads to more disappointments.

If you are disappointed for a long time, it will affect your motivation. You may waste time and be seen badly.

The other person has to respond to your messages, even if they're important to you. You're anxious about asking.

You care when people don't reply.