With relatives around urging, and a potential match in sight, how should one approach the issue of marriage?

What is marriage? How do we understand it?

Some folks think that marriage is just two people living together.

Some folks believe that marriage is all about love and responsibility for each other.

It's totally normal for everyone to have different ideas, concepts, and visions.

1. Based on your first described anxiety, I'd love to raise a few question marks and explore them together.

Let's take a moment to close our eyes and imagine what our ideal marriage would be like. Or, if you're comfortable sharing, what was your parents' marriage like?

I'd love to know what marriages your friends and family are like!

I'd love to know why the marriage in my heart is like this!

I'd love to know what it would feel like to have the kind of marriage I want. Would it make me happy?

Hey there! I just wanted to check in and see how you're doing. Are you happy? Are you feeling satisfied?

Or is it really up to you?

2. From what you've told me, it seems like you're just okay with your blind date at the moment. It's totally understandable! There's no pressure to get to know each other better. But I think this goes back to the question I asked before. If you figure out what kind of marriage you really want, it'll be easier to decide whether or not to get married.

3. You said that "if it weren't for the urging of my family and friends, I would probably choose to remain single." I get the feeling that this is really how you feel. Whether it's finding a partner or getting married, you're being a bit passive. It's other people's idea of what life should be like. What do you want? We spend our time searching for our own existence within relationships. Either we drift passively along, becoming someone else's life, or we raise our shields and fight to protect ourselves, living an independent life.

"I am not a determined person, and the words of others can sway me." I totally get what you're saying! It seems like you've seen yourself in your subconscious, felt this side of yourself, and now you're ready to make some changes.

I really hope you get to live the life you want, just like Wu Zhihong says.

I really hope you get to live a life where you call the shots, just like Wu Zhihong says!

Hello question asker

You seem confused and unsure about marriage, especially when people around you are pushing you to think about it. But no one has told you what marriage is or how to find the right person to spend the rest of your life with.

Marriage is different from love. You say that when you have a blind date, it's all about feelings, but in love, feelings are very important. However, in marriage, they can change over time. Marriage requires practicality. The most important thing to consider is what's best for both people in the marriage.

If two people are together, can they maintain the relationship and interests in the marriage well? You need to know what each other's needs are and work on both together.

When choosing a marriage partner, consider the other person's character, spiritual pursuits, understanding of life, and money management. Can you both go in the same direction?

You said you've thought about being single, but you're not sure. If you don't love your job or have something else to keep you busy, you might want to get back together. Think about what you're giving up and if you can handle it.

I hope this helps.

Good day, young lady. I can discern the confusion you are currently experiencing, and I offer you a gesture of comfort in the form of a hug.

The current situation can be described as a marital problem. This is accompanied by a need for emotional support.

It is possible that you have been taught the following: a woman should only marry when she is old enough. Consequently, you do not object to your parents' desire for you to marry.

However, you also exhibit signs of anxiety regarding the prospect of marriage.

Thus, you are currently experiencing a state of indecision regarding the appropriate course of action.

It seems reasonable to posit that the issue may have its roots in the subject's family of origin.

One might inquire as to the nature of the parents' marriage.

What was the nature of their relationship?

If the marriage was not a positive experience, it is possible that the individual may subconsciously believe that marriage is an inherently destructive force in relationships.

In such a case, it would be advisable to seek the guidance of a qualified professional psychologist.

Given the possibility that your current problem may fall within the scope of the original family, I am inclined to seek assistance from a professional psychological counselor rather than an instant listener.

In the event that the number of counseling sessions required to address the current issue is unclear, assistance can be sought from the live listener on this platform.

In the event that further assistance is required, the immediate listener will facilitate a referral to a qualified counselor.

It is my sincere hope that you will be able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing in the near future.

At this juncture, I am only able to offer the aforementioned suggestions.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned responses prove both helpful and inspiring to you, the young lady. I am the answer, and I endeavor to study assiduously each and every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

Hello, dear question asker!

It seems like you've been facing a tricky situation recently, where your loved ones are pushing you to go on a blind date. You're wondering how you should handle this, including what attitude you should have when you get married in the future.

Let me help you sort things out and analyze them with you:

Marriage is a big deal! It's a lifelong commitment. It's important to listen to your heart and not just settle for someone just because your relatives are pushing you to get married. After all, relationships are all about fate. It's totally normal not to see eye to eye or feel a connection at first. Don't worry, there's no need to fret until you meet the right person. Just go with the flow!

2. Now that you have a potential partner with whom you can have a decent conversation, try to get along with him/her first. Get to know each other better through more contact and observation. Take your time, don't be too anxious. Your personality is more focused on your own feelings and perceptions, so just follow your heart. In the early stages, just get in touch with each other. If the two of you really want to stay together, the most important thing is to have common topics of conversation and similar world views. Otherwise, you might find yourselves getting tired even after you get married.

3. This includes getting married in the future. You can do it according to your own wishes. Don't settle for less. Don't marry just because you want to get married. You must truly accept and approve of someone from the bottom of your heart before you invest your true heart and feelings. If you can meet someone who is willing to be good to you and your family, has good character, and has a stable career, then you can definitely try to get together with that person. You feel that being a single aristocrat is pretty good right now, but that's because you haven't met someone who makes your heart flutter. I'm sure that will change once you do!

4. Before fate comes, take your time to become strong, confident, and outstanding. Don't worry about anything else! Just keep a normal heart and go with the flow. If your loved ones are pushing you, just do what makes you happy. You'll be much happier that way!

I really hope my answer helps! Sending love to you all from the world and me ?

Good day,

You have no objections to living alone and no strong inclination to pursue a relationship with your potential match that would entail cohabitation. However, the opinions of those in your immediate circle may influence your decision.

You are uncertain about the best course of action. While you believe that not getting married may be the optimal decision, you are influenced by the opinions of those around you.

Re-marriage may lead to uncertainty due to a lack of deep emotional connection with the prospective partner. This could result in a sense of lack of anticipation for the future and potentially even a deterrent effect.

I have a suspicion, though I can't be certain, that you may be filtering your genuine feelings to some extent.

It is advisable to avoid acting in haste. It is possible to discern when one does not like a person with whom one is in a relationship, but it appears that one is reluctant to acknowledge one's feelings for a person with whom one is interested.

Perhaps you have an underlying assumption that what you desire and like most is unattainable and, as a result, you have not pursued it. This indifference may be a defense mechanism that protects you from experiencing pain or failure.

It is irrelevant whether you are single or have formed a relationship; the situation is unfulfilling. There is a barrier preventing you from accessing your true emotions, which is preventing you from being your true self. Regardless of whether you get married or not, you should identify your genuine feelings, respond to your innermost feelings, and live according to your most sincere wishes. Regardless of whether these wishes come true, you should be aware of them. You should fully express yourself, and regardless of the outcome, you should have given full rein to your passion and vitality.

Your life will become more fulfilling and rewarding. It's not about the outcome, but the sense of fulfilment that comes from living life to the fullest.

Please find below my personal feelings on the matter.

It is also important to note that we have become accustomed to suppressing our genuine emotions, to varying degrees. This is largely due to the fact that during our formative years, our feelings were frequently disregarded by adults.

If you were ignored as a child, regardless of your preferences, and if your feelings were suppressed with more rational, pragmatic, and morally correct reasons, then you may gradually become numb to yourself. You may also feel that your preferences are unimportant, impractical, and even shameful, wrong, and should not be expressed and fought for.

It is not advisable to express strong preferences. Over time, in order to avoid experiencing feelings of rejection and negation, we tend to suppress our genuine feelings, gradually become indifferent to our emotions, live without a sense of urgency, and adhere to external standards. However, suppressing our feelings will only result in the loss of our true selves and vitality.

This is a significant investment of time and resources. As children, we lacked the capacity to break away from the protective patterns that we were forced to adopt.

Now that we are adults, we have the opportunity to break away from this pattern by becoming aware, understanding, and supporting ourselves. Over time, we can live a brand new life.

Furthermore, I would like to reiterate that there is no obligation to act in a certain way. You are free to make your own decisions, as is everyone else.

You have the option of getting married or not. Those around you may encourage you to do so, but you have the freedom to choose whether or not to compromise.

This kind of freedom can be intimidating. Many of us are reluctant to embrace it, perhaps because we're afraid of making mistakes or facing the consequences.

It is often the case that individuals express discontent with the lack of freedom they perceive themselves to have. However, the reality is that the courage to live freely is something that each individual must possess. Freedom is not something that is bestowed upon us by others; rather, it is something that we must achieve through the courage to follow our hearts, regardless of external opinions, and to bear the consequences of our actions alone.

Ultimately, it is a matter of personal choice. One can choose not to examine one's own heart, not to advocate for one's own rights, not to confront one's own fears, and to instead compromise and align oneself with the expectations of others. There is no absolute right or wrong.

It is important to recognize that the consequences of these choices are also borne by ourselves. Enduring inner confusion and suffering, we lead a confused life day after day, sometimes full of complaints, as if we have forgotten that this is actually our own choice.

There is no right or wrong choice. Each individual has the freedom to make any choice. However, if the objective is to reduce pain, confusion, and live a clear and powerful life, it would be more prudent to clearly understand one's inner needs, consciously make choices, and bravely and openly accept the consequences of those choices. This approach allows one to be the master of their own choices.

Failing to act in accordance with one's own wishes, whether through unwillingness, lack of forethought, passive selection, avoidance of accountability, or acquiescence, may appear to be the simplest solution. However, it is in fact the most challenging and painful. The individual ultimately bears the burden of this choice.

I hope this information is helpful. Best regards,

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm a modest and unassuming person, just like a valley.

Attitudes towards marriage

It seems like everyone is getting married these days, but everyone has different reasons for it. This is something that needs to be discussed from many different perspectives. Some people feel like they should get married because everyone around them is married, so they find someone similar and get married, just to have a little romance in their lives. Some people choose to get married because they have been in a relationship for a while and want to take it to the next level. And some people do it because of children.

So, when it comes to marriage, people have different needs and attitudes. That means that after getting married, they will also encounter various problems. There are all kinds of situations, from quarrels and breakups to harmony and peace. So, what kind of marriage do we need? Are we willing to make sacrifices and change in order to get the kind of marriage we want?

We can ask ourselves what we need from a marriage. Some people need a sense of belonging in a relationship. Some people need a home, some people need a title, and some people need a child.

Once you know what you want from marriage, you can see your own attitude more clearly. It's not difficult, but it does require some thought.

Should you choose to get married?

People have a lot of expectations and positive views about marriage. This often leads them to believe that marriage can solve certain problems. For instance, parents often feel that their job is done once their children get married. Similarly, people who don't have a partner may view marriage as a way to find companionship. Consequently, people have different expectations for marriage, and the outcome can vary.

You say you lack determination, and because everyone around you is pushing you, you've got the idea of getting married. And love is when you have no idea about marriage, but after meeting someone, you suddenly want to get married.

That's why it's important to know what you want when you're faced with pressure from others to get married. You should go forward on your own path, knowing your own mind. There's no question of whether or not you should choose marriage, but whether you need to.

Marriage is a combination of material and spiritual aspects, and it's also the most challenging to balance. But if you have someone who can face problems with you, it's also a kind of happiness. We're all newcomers in the melting pot of life, and many things are the first time we've experienced them. We can't think of everything, and only by doing it can we know our true aspirations.

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I understand your anxiety.

The poster has faced their feelings and sought help. This will help them understand themselves and make good choices.

I will also share my thoughts on the post.

1. Take some time for yourself.

The post says you went on a blind date and it went well. I go on blind dates based on feelings. Often, the feelings are indifferent or negative.

If my family and friends didn't nag me, I'd probably stay single. I'm not determined, and I'm easily influenced.

It seems like the original poster doesn't know what he wants. It's just because his family and friends are pushing him to get married.

Let's look at what we can do about this.

People who get married and live together are themselves. They are the ones who have to be happy.

We should listen to our loved ones, but we must also listen to our inner voice.

If you don't know how to choose, take your time. If you don't know how to choose for yourself, you can still learn.

2. Think about what kind of relationship you want.

The poster doesn't know what he wants most. How can we find out what he wants? He can start with needs.

You need a relationship to survive.

The host thinks about what needs this blind date meets. Why do you think it's okay and the conversation is going well?

What needs did he satisfy? Think about this to find your needs.

What is your core need in an intimate relationship?

Once you know your core needs, you'll know how to choose.

3. Learn

Take time to learn. Understand marriage.

Learn about intimacy. This may help.

You can take courses or read books on relationships. For example, there are books like "If Only You Knew Before Marriage" and "Intimate Relationships."

4. Ask for help.

The original poster might want to look at the resources around you. You have friends or relatives who study psychology.

If you have the money and resources, you can also seek help from a counselor.

I hope these ideas help and inspire you.

Good morning, host. My name is July.

After reviewing your description, I have a clear understanding of the question you wish to ask. In this regard, I extend my support in the form of a four-dimensional hug.

From your description, I can ascertain that you are aware of the issues you are facing. This will facilitate the resolution of the problem.

From your description, it appears that your relatives are encouraging you to get married because they believe it is the optimal decision. In their perspective, a woman should marry and have children as soon as possible, as this is the best choice. They base this advice on what they were told in their own marriages, and they believe that marriage and children are the only viable options for a woman.

Moreover, individuals who remain isolated for extended periods without addressing the crucial aspects of life may encounter challenges.

In your description, you also mentioned that you are not a determined person and are susceptible to influence from others. This is a significant concern for you because you are afraid that you will be unduly influenced by your loved ones and give in to their advice, ultimately leading to an ill-considered decision regarding marriage. As a result, you are experiencing considerable confusion and anxiety, and you are concerned that you will make an unwise decision that will have long-term implications for your life.

In this regard, I have also summarized some methods to help alleviate the current situation, and I hope they prove useful to you.

(1) It is important to relax and take your time, and to avoid placing excessive pressure on yourself. Doing so can have a negative impact on your emotional state in the moment.

(2) It is recommended that you speak with a trusted colleague or friend to express your thoughts and feelings, thereby alleviating your emotional distress.

(3) It would be beneficial to ascertain your primary concerns. While the input of others is valuable, it is essential to prioritize your authentic thoughts, as you are the sole individual responsible for them.

(4) Attempt to address the advice of your loved ones with a calm demeanor. Consider their advice as a reference point, not as a definitive factor, as only your most authentic thoughts can truly assist you.

(5) You have the option of accepting the opinions of your loved ones. If you are unable to do so, you may choose to disregard their input. It is acceptable to be selective in your attention. Given the volume of information the brain processes daily, it is not feasible to attend to everything. Therefore, it is preferable to be selective, which will be a more beneficial approach in the moment.

The world and I extend our best wishes to you.

Please accept my best wishes.