Work pressure is high, nerves are hard to relax, emotions have nowhere to vent, how to self-regulate?

Good afternoon. I read your question and I must advise you to reconsider your approach. Perhaps you would be better off finding a girlfriend.

You did not mention your previous relationship status, only that you are currently living alone. It would be beneficial for you to establish your own intimate relationships. It is important to maintain a positive attitude and understand that the other person is not there to take on your negative emotions.

It is recommended that you approach each day with the intention of giving, making connections, and discovering the positive aspects of life.

It would be beneficial to your overall well-being to spend your free time engaging in activities outside the home. This could include networking with new people and joining groups with shared interests.

In the current digital age, the internet offers a convenient platform for connecting with like-minded individuals, whether it be for shared interests such as jogging, ball games, or reading. This requires a willingness to engage with the world outside one's immediate circle.

It is also possible to engage in less meaningful activities, such as solving jigsaw puzzles. One can purchase jigsaw puzzles online, with 3,000 or 5,000 pieces, similar to those gifted to Yue Yunpeng's daughter by Ray Jiaren. This can be an effective way to utilize time effectively. Activities that facilitate a sense of flow are enjoyable and productive.

Another example is reading a book. There is no need to attempt to recall how much information can be retained; simply read the book and note the number of pages read each day. It is important to read at a consistent time, for instance, beginning reading at 8 pm and reading for half an hour or an hour.

It is not necessary to remember what you have seen; simply keep looking every day.

It is possible to go out for a walk at the same time each day and, on the way, look for specific details. These could include the number of rubbish bins, the number of shops, the colours of shopfronts, or the number of stray cats. A theme can be selected for each day, with the focus on a different aspect of the walk. For example, one day could be spent counting rubbish bins, while the next could focus on the colours of shopfronts.

On your return journey, collect a flower.

In summary, implement minor changes to your lifestyle.

I am frequently both Buddhist and pessimistic, yet I am also an occasionally positive and motivated counselor. I extend my utmost respect to the world.

Hello, Thursday! I'm Wil, your counselor.

I feel fortunate to have come across your problem. I took the time to read your question carefully. Would you be interested in chatting about it?

(1) "I'm in my early 30s, male, and I live alone. My work is intense, often with overtime, and the future is uncertain."

Your age, living alone, and the intensity of your work have led to a sense of confusion about your future, which seems to be a significant underlying issue.

It would be remiss of me not to consider the possibility that a man in his early thirties who has not entered into a close relationship and is alone in bearing the relatively heavy pressure of work may be a very realistic aspect that needs to be considered.

(2) "Recently, I feel that the boundary between life and work is becoming increasingly blurred, and I'm finding it challenging to implement the methods that were originally effective for regulating my emotions."

It could be said that this kind of stress is continuous and long-term. When we are under a continuous and long-term state of stress, it seems that the methods which were originally effective in regulating stress may lose their previous effectiveness. This suggests that this kind of continuous and long-term stress (which may come mainly from work pressure on the one hand, and loneliness and normal physiological needs on the other) may be relatively related to anxiety. Stress may cause anxiety, and anxiety in turn may increase the feeling of oppression.

After accumulating to a certain magnitude, it has become challenging to implement previous methods, which may indicate that they were only treating the symptoms and not the root cause. Many stresses have not been effectively released or eliminated.

(3) "I find myself becoming increasingly pessimistic and depressed. I am often nervous and worried, and my dreams are filled with problems that I am unable to resolve."

This is the point at which prolonged stress reaches a critical point, affecting the entire individual's approach to life. It is not only the conscious mind that is affected by the tension and anxiety; the subconscious mind also expresses the body's, mind's, and soul's strong need for rest and relaxation through dream feedback.

(4) "It can be difficult to find someone to talk to. I enjoy my own company, but I also feel lonely and helpless sometimes."

It is not uncommon for individuals struggling with anxiety and depression to face challenges in their interpersonal relationships. While the questioner currently maintains a satisfactory level of social functioning at work, as previously discussed, the distinction between personal and professional lives is becoming increasingly blurred. This can contribute to the perpetuation and worsening of anxiety symptoms.

I would like to suggest that the questioner could consider providing feedback to the company or leader, adjusting the work content, moderately reducing overtime, or moderately considering changing the work environment in the medium to long term.

While you are in your early 30s and may not be as young and strong as when you first graduated, you are still in a relatively young stage and still have considerable energy and learning ability. This may also be an advantage for you.

(5) "Sometimes fantasizing about basking in the sun on a deck chair... could potentially lead to domestic violence."

It is worth noting that moderate fantasies can offer a degree of stress relief, and masturbation can also provide some relief from stress. However, it is important to recognize that fantasies may not be the most direct way of addressing problems, and masturbation can indirectly link the otherwise positive desire with stress.

It would seem that the above indicates that the questioner may benefit from reducing stress and establishing interpersonal connections. This could include forming friendships where you can talk and drink together, as well as developing love into an intimate relationship.

(6) "I tried counseling, but after half a month, I felt like I had nothing more to write about."

I believe that the above attempts are all positive in nature, and I suggest that the questioner consider retaining this kind of approach and open-minded attitude.

As psychological counseling often has specific time requirements, it would be beneficial to try to adhere to the counselor's schedule as much as possible to ensure the most effective outcome.

At the same time, it would be beneficial to consider why these behaviors, which may have a positive effect, are always prone to interruption. Could anxiety also play a role in this?

As anxiety often leads us to rush for a clear result, and as mentioned before, prolonged stress does not come out of nowhere. If you're interested in gradually reducing it, how might you do so in an immediate way?

Perhaps we could all benefit from slowing down, embracing a more natural pace of life, and focusing on nourishing our bodies, minds, and spirits. I gently suggest that the original poster consider exploring mindfulness or meditation as a way to help regulate their pace of life. It's important to remember that anxiety is not something that can be eliminated overnight. Instead, we can work towards reducing behaviors that exacerbate anxiety and cultivate practices that promote relaxation.

I hope these suggestions are helpful. If you find them useful, please like and follow.

I would like to express my love for the world and for you.

Hi, Qingxiang here. I'd like to talk to you about this.

You're under a lot of pressure at work and in your personal life. This is making you feel stressed and down. You've tried to cheer yourself up, but it hasn't worked.

Let's talk about counseling.

You said you've had ten sessions with two or three teachers.

The first five sessions of psychological counseling are about understanding the client, developing a case, and building a relationship.

From what you said, I think these few sessions of counseling didn't help much. Counseling is about the counselor's skills, how well you get along, how much you trust them, and how badly you want to change.

You can search the website to find a good counselor. Not all counselors can help you. It's also important to be compatible. One of my teachers said you can find the right counselor in three sessions. Think about the treatment suggestions. Do you like them? Can you accept them? Finally, you can do medium- to long-term treatment to make progress and get better results.

Let me talk about the two images you have in mind.

I will analyze these two aspects from my understanding. I've been there too, so I understand. It might not be you, but you can listen.

1) A fantasy retirement.

You like plants, the gym, painting, and sunbathing.

These ideas take time to implement. From your description, I can sense that you lack time. You don't like your current life and want to escape.

2) Midlife crisis.

You have these thoughts in your mind. You have conflicts in your family that you can't resolve. You even find it difficult to face your parents and relatives. You hope to solve all your problems through violence. You also have no confidence in your career. You feel that you have no advantages over your colleagues.

Let's talk about this, and I'll share some thoughts below.

—-Finally, a word on the line between your work and your life.

You asked this question at the beginning, but I'll answer it last. It's the most important because it depends on your values.

Mr. Zeng once gave a lecture on the meaning of life. He said:

Work is for living, but life is not for work.

You work a lot and often work overtime. This shows that you spend most of your time at work.

If you feel lost about your future, it means your current work doesn't make you feel valued. It doesn't make you better, and the longer you work, the less you earn or get evaluated.

Life is like putting things into a bottle. First you put in a few ping-pong balls, then some small stones, and finally you top it up with beer.

The ping-pong balls are your career, hobbies, or livelihood. The stones are trivial daily things and family matters. The beer is beer.

Your time should be spent on meaningful things, not trivial ones. It's good to know and understand many things, but don't get caught up in them. Beer represents our entertainment life. Is a glass of beer really necessary, no matter how busy you are?

You said you can't stick to some methods, so I won't tell you what methods can help.

Here's a trick:

1) Every day when you get home, write on a piece of paper what happened at work that day.

Then you can make tea or close your eyes. Tell yourself, "This is my time to live."

2) When you feel tired, take out the paper again. List everything you need to do tomorrow.

Lie down and tell yourself, "The rest of the day is for relaxing."

This method is optional. If you want to write, do it. If not, just draw a 123 with your finger and let go.

I'm Qingxiang. Here are some thoughts and suggestions. Hope they help.

I love you, world.

Answer: 1. First of all, you must have heard the terms "relaxed and measured" and "stretch and relax." It seems like your life is a bit too stressful. It's like a rubber band that is always in a state of tension, which is definitely not a good thing. Don't worry, though! You can work hard when you need to and improve your efficiency. The purpose of this is to reduce overtime and increase your free time.

You're only 30 years old, and the best is yet to come! Don't be like a rubber band that's always in a state of tension. When you have a relaxing daily life and a less stressful job, you'll feel so much better.

2. Your second sentence really confirms what I was thinking about your first. It seems like you're confusing work with life.

3. You feel increasingly depressed and lack motivation. It's totally normal to feel this way! First of all, although you often work overtime, your work performance is not ideal, or it does not meet your psychological expectations, so you are constantly frustrated. You should try to lower your expectations, face your work calmly, and not set such high expectations for yourself. Nothing is achieved overnight. Take a deep breath and get down to work. With time and effort, you will see results.

Second, you don't see yourself as a human being. You see yourself as a workaholic, a machine. The evidence is that you ignore everything about life: you don't clean your room, you don't wash the dishes even when you cook rarely. This shows that you have no spark of life in you, that you don't treat yourself as a living person, that you don't love and treat yourself well. You don't even want to clean the place you live in for yourself, and you don't want to take care of your body, your heart, and your health. So your heart, your body, and your emotions are protesting against you, which has led to negative emotions such as anxiety and a lack of motivation. This is very reasonable, isn't it?

4. It seems like you don't usually have friends you can confide in, and you're not sure how to do that with people you don't know well. This shows that you have certain social barriers. We all say that friends can talk about anything, and it seems like you don't know how to confide in people here. This might mean that you don't really have any friends you can trust. It's okay! You are closed off inside, and you can't accept yourself, let alone accept friends.

I know it can be tough, but I promise you it'll all be worth it in the end! You'll only be able to make good friends and have good interpersonal skills when you accept yourself, including the parts of yourself that you don't like.

5. "I have some friends, but they're all busy with their own lives." Yes, but you don't have a life of your own, sweetheart.

6. "Sometimes I feel lonely and helpless when I like to be alone." You don't like to be alone, and that's okay! People who like to be alone and have the ability to do so are happy, have a lot to do, and are not lonely or helpless. They can get along well with themselves and with others.

You're a bit of a loner, aren't you? It's not that you don't like being around people, but you're used to having your own space. I can understand why you think you like being alone, but I think there's more to it than that. You're not really alone, but you also crave connection with the outside world.

7. Your personality may be a bit extreme because the content of your fantasies is either too good or too bad. And you think too much and do too little, which is totally normal!

8. You lose interest in things after three minutes and give up when you don't see results. These also stem from your habitual negative suggestions, because whether you are doing counseling or recording your happy daily life, you didn't intend to make yourself better at the beginning. It's okay! We all lose interest sometimes. It's just a matter of refocusing your attention and intention.

Just do it, and focus on doing it, regardless of whether it is effective or not. When you focus on why you are not getting better, why it is not having any effect, and why you're still not happy, you're just reinforcing your unhappiness. It's so important to remember that! Without effect, you'll definitely give up, and what you'll get is unhappiness and no effect.

9. It's not just about managing your emotions and stress, though that's important too. It's really about learning to love yourself, treat yourself well, accept yourself, and get along with yourself. When you've done that, and you love yourself, you'll find everything falls into place.

10. Once you learn to love yourself, it'd be great if you could find a beautiful girlfriend. Good luck, young man!

Hello, dear questioner! I can feel your confusion, fatigue, and loneliness from your text, but I'm here to help! I'm excited to share some of my suggestions and thoughts.

1. Work is busy and overtime is common, which seems to be the norm for young people nowadays. They are always busy running around for a living, but that's okay! We are all members of society, and socializing is unavoidable. Having your own free time to hang out with a few friends regularly and establish normal social relationships will make you feel less lonely.

Or spend more time with your parents! Call them more often. No matter how old you are, you are still your parents' child, and home is a shelter from the wind and rain.

2. Everyone will have a period of time when they ponder the meaning of life. It seems that the more they ponder, the more they feel that life is meaningless. This is probably because they have not found a belief, a belief that makes them work tirelessly for it. I really like Maslow's hierarchy of needs theory. I think at this time, you should pursue the needs for love and respect, and accomplish the things you have accomplished in each stage.

3. We are all flesh and blood, and we will always get tired. But that's okay! When you get tired, let yourself rest, empty your mind, go for a walk, or do something you've always wanted to do. Take the time to embark on a journey of emptying your mind and searching for yourself. And remember, you work hard to earn money so you can live your best life!

I really hope this helps and that you can find happiness!