Good day. From your description, I can see some of your recent confusion. Before discussing the issue, if you allow, I would like to offer my support in the form of a gesture of warmth and encouragement.
You describe yourself as "particularly gentle in character, considerate and empathetic, [and] like to listen to other people's problems, have a good temper, [and] are well liked, and many girls confide in me." These traits align with the characteristics of a highly empathetic individual. It is evident that you possess a kind and amiable personality, free from any negative traits.
As you previously stated, when you feel that you want to exert control over a woman, that you desire a submissive partner, and that you want to express your emotions in an aggressive manner, you will resist these urges.
I am curious to know how it feels to be a good person for a long time. Apart from the aftertaste of "giving roses to others leaves your hands fragrant," I believe there may be other feelings. If this is still a precious rose that you have painstakingly identified, there may be even more feelings.
You have chosen to be a kind individual who makes others feel warm, which is a result of your kindness. At the same time, it also shows that you have a strong ability to establish good relationships and interactions with others.
From a psychological perspective, your behavior of "can't help but think about it" may be a way to compensate for your long-standing role as a helper, providing support for others. This thought may also serve as a reminder that while taking care of others, you can also prioritize your own well-being.
The above represents my personal opinion for reference only. Please take care of yourself.


Comments
This is really complex, feeling torn between these two sides of yourself must be incredibly challenging. It's important to recognize that wanting to control someone or "torment" them isn't healthy, and it's great that your rational side is pushing back against those feelings.
It sounds like you're experiencing a tough internal struggle. It's crucial to address why you feel this urge to control and what might be triggering these emotions. Seeking help from a professional could provide some insight and coping strategies.
I can sense the conflict you're going through. It's admirable that you acknowledge the wrongness of wanting to control someone. Perhaps exploring these feelings with a therapist can guide you towards healthier ways to channel your emotions.
Feeling this kind of inner turmoil is no easy feat. Your awareness of the potential harm in your desires is a strong first step. Consider finding safe outlets for your emotions, such as art or sports, and talking to someone who can offer support.
You seem to have a lot on your mind, and it's commendable that you're aware of the negative aspects of these urges. It might be beneficial to focus on understanding where these feelings come from and working on personal growth to resolve this conflict.