A 26-year-old woman living under their control, how can she escape her family?

Hello, question asker!

Thank you so much for asking!

Remember, the strong don't draw knives on the weak. That's a tactic reserved for the weak!

So don't be afraid! They can control you or abuse you. But you know what? It's really because they are dissatisfied with themselves, or even losers, that they take out their frustrations on you.

If you are afraid, believe me, they are also trembling inside, and they just can't wait to let you know!

If you don't believe me, here's something you can try. Next time they scold you, tell them to go outside and scold someone else. See if they dare to do it!

So, since we are both weak, let's change this!

Absolutely! It's because they've switched concepts. They've raised you, so they demand obedience. If you disobey, you're a white-eyed wolf, and they can justifiably scold and even hit you.

But who told them that raising a child is about having the child completely at your beck and call? Which law says that as a human being, one should not have a life and choices of one's own?

You see, they have never been reasonable or abided by the law. But don't worry! If you encounter someone like this, just call the police and apply for legal aid.

Absolutely! Let the professionals reason with them and explain the law to them.

Don't hesitate! They are the ones who made the mistakes and even committed crimes. We mustn't let the victims pay the price for their mistakes and sins with their lives! Is the victim guilty?

No way! You don't deserve this!

⭐️ At the age of 26, they are still controlling you, continuing verbal, mental, and even physical violence against you.

So it's totally normal that you're angry. It's a great thing, my dear!

This is great news! It means that you have not yet developed Stockholm syndrome and have not become dependent on the abuser and the abuse.

Your pain and anger are loud and clear! They're powerful reminders that these things are wrong and criminal.

This is not right! But it is going to be!

They are all your angels, reminding you to take action and get out of the mud!

So embrace your pain and anger and face them head on! They are actually kind reminders and salvation.

So, you see, you know it all, and we've seen it all. In this case, we're here for you! Should you call the police? Call the police! Should you apply for legal aid? Apply for legal aid! We support all your decisions and actions.

Don't be afraid! The world and I love you!

Dear questioner, Thank you for your question.

You feel the pain and internal conflict of being controlled by your family of origin, as well as the infinite doubt you have about life in general, don't you?

1. About being controlled.

Regarding the part "26 women, living under their control, how can they escape from their families?"

You feel controlled, don't you?

I want to be clear: respect your feelings. Confirm that this is a feeling of being controlled. And embrace the part of yourself that feels painful when you feel controlled.

We have been brought up under control for so many years that we have developed an image of a very strict "inner parent." We treat ourselves in this way. It is only natural that we want to escape and rebel when we feel controlled.

We all reject being controlled. The subconscious is clear that control hurts, not what is "for our own good." Hurt is hurt, and "for our own good" is a form of soft control that is still essentially control.

2. I'm going to address the issue of being scolded.

Regarding the part about being scolded, I empathize with the questioner. Questioner, I urge you to confront your own feelings of pain.

You need to understand that it is not your fault to be beaten and scolded. It is simply an excuse used by the abusers.

Psychiatrist Zeng Qifeng once said,

Abuse creates loyalty, while love creates separation.

Let me be clear: when we are scolded, we unconsciously identify with the part that is being abused by others from the bottom of our hearts. We may think that this part is "love" and be loyal to it because it is safer.

Controllers often use control to keep the controlled person from leaving them. The truth is that the controlled person cannot leave the controller because they feel safe while experiencing pain.

Let me be clear: this is not a sense of security in reality. In reality, this kind of severe control is toxic and harmful. It will cause people to suffer terribly and die.

Related news events, such as the case of female college student Bao Li and so on.

3. You want to leave the world.

You said you want to leave the world. It's likely a form of self-protection, a way to avoid feeling the pain of being treated rudely by them.

You can choose a more moderate approach. For example, you can distance yourself from them, but not too far away or too close.

You decide how far away you want to be.

This creates a safer physical distance for you. However, true security comes from the deepest part of our hearts.

The original poster should seek help from a strong social support system to rebuild their sense of security. This could include professional counselors, lawyers, police officers, psychiatrists at specialist hospitals, or the authoritative anti-domestic violence White Ribbon public welfare organization.

Marshall Rosenberg said,

"We can only break free from the shackles of verbal violence by learning to listen to our own voices."

You must respect your pain. We can accept the good intentions of others, but we can also reject the "simple and rude" expressions of others, including our parents. Reject harm and believe that you are worthy of being treated gently. You can experience more authentic and nourishing relationships.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. The world and I love you.

I totally get where you're coming from.

It's so important to have a pillar in your life right now. But it's hard when the people in your family of origin, who should be there for you, just don't understand or accept you. They can even limit you from seeking out other pillars.

It's totally normal to feel desperate at times like this, but it's not a sign of weakness.

But, my dear friend, simply giving in to despair will only bring endless suffering and may even delay the opportunity to save yourself.

I really don't think you need to deny your feelings. It's totally okay to feel despair. Just accept that you're feeling despair right now, and then think about what you can do to move forward.

Your despair can be used against you, my friend. With it, you don't have to pin your hopes on others, and you don't have to fear failure.

You don't need to be strong or put on a brave face. You just need to calm down, my friend.

My advice for you, my dear students, is to look for a school that's far away from home and fully funded. Aim for the scholarship, study hard, and ignore any setbacks. Get through it, get into the fully funded school, and leave those people behind. You'll be free!

If you're already working or about to find a job, it's even easier to simply look for work in a city where they're not. If job hunting is difficult, you can also make getting a job your goal and get through it. You've got this!

All you have to do is get away from "them," not from your own life.

You've got this! Just hang in there until you leave them, and you'll be victorious.

In your new world, take your time to heal yourself. You'll get there! You'll be free of fear.

I'm sending you all the good luck in the world!