A friend asked me for help, and I was also at a loss. Is it worth turning back for such a guy?

Hello, question asker!

I saw your question on the platform. It's so great that you're looking for advice for a friend. It shows that your friend still trusts you very much and is willing to confide in you about her suffering. You are also a very caring friend, and I'm sure you can't bear to see your friend continue like this.

After reading your description of your friend's situation, I can see that she's going through a really tough time.

It's been three years since they got married and one and a half years since they separated. The reason was that the man hit the woman, and they went to the police station, which caused the poor woman to have a nervous breakdown. The man has been begging for reconciliation, bless his heart.

2. The man's character is a bit extreme. When it comes to matters between the two of them, he is very extreme and stubborn, and can only accept his own point of view. His concept of love is that money can maintain the relationship between the two, and that money is more important than trust. The poor man also feels a bit inferior.

It's so sad! Both sides are a bit insecure, lacking love, and have a relationship with their original family.

I'm so sorry to hear that your friend is going through such a rough time. It's clear that the series of emotional crises has caused her a lot of sadness and distress. It's also understandable that she's feeling confused about the marriage and unsure of what the future holds.

I'd love to know what kind of person this is and how I should get along with them.

Question 2: Is it possible to change the personality and outlook on love of someone like this?

Question 3: Do you think it would be worth turning back?

It would be really helpful for you to help your friend analyse the situation in detail.

1. From what you've told me, it seems like the man has quite a few problems. But, I'm not sure exactly what's going on, and your friend hasn't shared all the details. So, I can't say for sure what the specific situation is like.

As the saying goes, "It is better to demolish ten temples than to destroy one marriage." It can be seen that most people prefer to persuade rather than to advise separation. I believe you feel the same way. After all, no one gets married with the intention of getting a divorce. And from what you have described, your friend may still have some expectations for the relationship, but now there is a crisis, and the man has resorted to violence. This is a relatively serious problem, but you've got this!

3. First, let's answer the three questions you listed above:

It seems like your friend's husband is rather paranoid and extreme, and he tends to react emotionally to situations. He's also used to being self-centered and doesn't always listen to others. It seems like he has a rather strange concept of love. He believes that money is more important than trust and only wants to use money to maintain the relationship. Of course, these are the circumstances your friend described to you, and they're not completely one-sided. But they do reflect the fact that the two of you have different worldviews. One is a personality that is too different, and the other is a view of love. These are incompatible, and arguments are bound to happen frequently. Without establishing a good way of getting along, both people will be very tired. If you really want to get along well, you can only move closer to each other, rather than one person being stubborn.

It's so important to understand where your friend's husband is coming from. His concept of love is likely shaped by his family of origin, or the way his parents raised him. This upbringing has influenced his views on relationships in all aspects, making it challenging for him to form close, intimate relationships. He might find it difficult to love others fully and may also have trouble controlling his emotions. When things don't go well, he might get angry or act impulsively. It's important to remember that changing these patterns takes time and effort. It's not as simple as changing the mountains and rivers — it's about embracing the journey of growth and understanding.

It's so hard to know whether it's worth going back, isn't it? I think it depends entirely on your friend's attitude. The fact that the two of them got together is also fate, but falling in love and running a marriage are two different concepts. If the relationship is no longer working, you can still separate, but marriage is more complicated. The fact that you were able to get married in the first place shows that you still made a big decision. If you really want a divorce, there are definitely many things to consider, and this is the root of your friend's indecision.

It also depends on the attitude of the man. It's so important to know whether he's truly sincere in repenting. If he only says it but then turns violent towards your friend again, it's so hard to know what to do. You have to be able to tell the difference.

fifth, you could have a nice chat with her. Women are often afraid of showing their weaknesses. It's important to look into this further and not to take things at face value.

I really hope my answer helps! I love you so much, and so does the world! ?

You indicated that you are providing counsel to a friend regarding a relationship issue. It would be most beneficial for her to pursue counseling independently or to consult with a counselor that you may introduce her to.

The woman sought your assistance, indicating her trust in you and her desire for your help. However, you believe that you are unable to intervene effectively, which prompted you to seek guidance. It is crucial to exercise caution and avoid becoming overly involved. Your words convey a sense of anger, which may be attributed to the individual in question. Attempting to resolve the issue independently may lead to feelings of helplessness.

In response to your inquiry, I must reiterate that I am unable to provide a definitive analysis of the situation based on the information you have presented. My assessment is contingent upon your own understanding of the circumstances and the facts you have relayed.

You have indicated that the woman was taken to the police station due to the man's violent behavior, which ultimately resulted in her experiencing a nervous breakdown. The man has persistently sought peace, yet he exhibits a radical and stubborn personality. He adheres to the belief that financial resources are a crucial factor in maintaining a relationship between two individuals and that financial stability supersedes the importance of trust. You have also highlighted the lack of a sense of security and love in both individuals, which you believe is influenced by their upbringing in their respective families of origin. In light of these observations, your question pertains to the characterization of the man and the potential for fostering a harmonious relationship with him. Additionally, you have posed the question of whether his personality and perspectives on love can undergo a transformation.

One must consider whether it is worthwhile to turn back.

It seems reasonable to conclude that this is the case. It would be advisable to ascertain her views on the possibility of turning back and whether she is prepared to accept the risk of being subjected to violence once more. Should she wish to reconsider her position, it would be helpful for her to develop the capacity to adapt, identify an appropriate means of coexisting with him, and gain insight into his character.

Based on the information provided, it is possible to hypothesize that the individual in question exhibits a tendency to prioritize financial concerns over other aspects of his life. Additionally, he appears to lack the capacity to regulate his impulses in intimate relationships, which may manifest as violence towards others.

One's character and outlook on love are difficult to alter. It is important not to entertain the notion that this is something that can be easily achieved.

Should she wish to reconsider her decision, she must exercise caution to ensure that her actions do not inadvertently reinforce his problematic behaviours. It is essential that she establishes clear boundaries and does not allow him to dictate the terms of their relationship. She must also recognise the necessity of safeguarding her own interests. In the event that she perceives no viable alternative, she must proceed with a firm and decisive divorce, refusing to entertain any further attempts at reconciliation.

I wish you the best of luck.

Greetings.

As an impartial observer, what is your assessment of your friend's husband? Based on the information provided, it appears that the husband exhibits a multitude of deficiencies, including but not limited to domestic violence, intolerance, and an inability to effectively manage the relationship, resorting instead to financial dependence.

The objective of a marital relationship is to spend an extended period of time together. It is not necessary for one's partner to be without flaws; what is essential is that they be a source of support and a partner in growth.

What is your opinion on this matter?

Conversely, the questions your friend has raised pertain to the means of maintaining harmonious relations, the probability of modifying the other person's concept of love, and the potential merits of resuming the relationship.

It appears that these questions all imply the expectation that the relationship can be improved, that the other person can change in some way, and that the relationship has new possibilities. Does this indicate that your friend still hopes to repair the relationship?

If so, what were the positive aspects of the relationship for your friend? You may be able to assist your friend in making sense of this.

One can gain a more nuanced understanding of the relationship. Despite the numerous challenges, it is possible that the relationship held significant value for your friend. Clarifying the meaning of a relationship for oneself, regardless of its quality, can facilitate more informed decision-making.

Furthermore, I would like to present the reasons why it can be challenging to terminate a relationship that is perceived as unsatisfactory. I also have acquaintances who have experienced comparable circumstances.

One significant factor is that a troubled relationship may offer certain assurances and benefits. For instance, a relationship may provide a sense of belonging and stability, even if it is ultimately unsatisfactory.

Alternatively, it is possible to identify a space where one can demonstrate one's value, which is a more common occurrence among Chinese women. It appears that the family is the primary setting for women to ascertain their worth.

My husband is a source of considerable frustration, but I am confident that I can improve him. Alternatively, perhaps I am not alone in this relationship.

Such considerations may be extended to other cases.

The specific reasons why each person is bound by a bad relationship are highly variable. However, the reason why it is difficult to leave and cannot be separated is, in fact, the part of the relationship that one can give to oneself. One is unable to face and bear the loss of this part of oneself.

For example, individuals may experience difficulties in tolerating solitude or a sense of inadequacy without the security of a committed partnership. If feasible, it may be beneficial to examine these aspects of one's self in the context of a relationship.

In regard to the question of whether to stay or go in a relationship, it is likely that a clearer idea will emerge from within.

Furthermore, I would like to present my personal experience regarding intimate relationships. I believe that before establishing a positive intimate relationship or learning how to interact with another person in a relationship, it is crucial to understand how to interact with oneself.

An individual who is aware of their own feelings, understands their own needs, and protects their own boundaries can enjoy their life independently and experience a sense of fulfillment.

It may be a more efficacious and expedient route to happiness to initially cultivate one's personal growth and achieve a state of contentment and satisfaction independently, and subsequently direct one's attention towards intimate relationships. Ultimately, it is a challenging endeavor to attain happiness through self-transformation alone.

However, the ability to achieve happiness through self-satisfaction is a readily attainable goal, and it can be initiated without delay. Furthermore, in the context of an intimate relationship, it is common for individuals to expect their partner to cooperate in order to facilitate their own happiness.

Such expectations typically result in detrimental outcomes in relationships. Therefore, it is imperative to prioritize one's own happiness and well-being, as this will facilitate the cultivation of a more fulfilling and intimate relationship. This approach ultimately leads to a mutually beneficial and advantageous outcome for all parties involved.

It is my sincere hope that this information will prove beneficial to you and your colleagues. Sincerely,

It's so great to have such an enthusiastic friend like you! I'm sure your friend feels the warmth and support from you, and she'll have more strength to face her troubles.

As for your question, it's a great one! As long as it involves people and human nature, it's hard to answer with a simple "yes" or "no," "can" or "cannot," "worthwhile" or "not worthwhile." You've seen that they've been separated for a year and a half, and you've also seen the male party's radicalism and obstinacy. You've also seen that both parties lack a sense of security, love, and problems in their original families.

In other words, you actually know that their state of being apart is the result of the influence of multiple factors, and you even know some of the factors that you don't know. That means there's so much you can do to help her find a completely correct answer!

I don't think it's about whether your friend should persist or whether her boyfriend can change. It's about your relationship with her and how you can help her!

When it comes to major life choices, it's so important to give clear-cut advice. But it's also essential to help your friend shoulder the consequences after she's made her choice. Let's say you advise your boyfriend that he cannot change and that they should separate. After the separation, your friend is in great pain, feeling that she has lost her beloved. In that moment, you have the opportunity to change from being her friend to becoming her partner!

Don't let her boyfriend change! She should persevere. But how much of the pain caused by the mutual torment can you help her bear?

I never meant to accuse you! I just want to say that sometimes our enthusiasm to help can also have some unintended negative effects. I remember when I was consoling a friend, he would say to me about many suggestions I know, I have considered this possibility, and at that time I was even a little angry, because I felt that you know everything, so why did you come to me?

Later, when we were eating and chatting together, he told me something really interesting. He said that when he actually sought me out to talk about his troubles, he just wanted someone to talk to. At that time, he really didn't know who to tell about the situation, and having someone listen to him and show their understanding and support was the greatest encouragement.

So, you don't need to answer her questions. Just being there for her with companionship and support is already a great help!

Hello!

Host:

I'm Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. I read your post and I can see you're confused and unsure. You're also seeking help, which is a good thing.

Next, I'll share my thoughts in the post, which may help you see things differently.

Why can't you leave a harmful relationship?

Why can't you leave a harmful relationship? Why doesn't she leave when the other person treats her badly?

This may seem contradictory, but it's more understandable from a psychological point of view.

Psychologically, relationships are based on needs. When there is no longer a need, there is no longer a relationship.

The relationship still exists because it's not yet over. Or it can be understood like this: the relationship still has some benefits.

Maybe the benefits aren't recognized? This relationship is full of pain, but it's not all pain.

There may be a better time. It's good that some needs have been met.

2. Friends may need to vent and listen.

Some people say that marriage is always conflict.

When there's conflict in a friendship, the friend may need to vent and have someone listen.

When our hearts are wrapped in emotions,

There's no way to take advice. People often get too much advice.

We can let our friend vent and be heard. When she really needs advice, we can discuss it together.

Friends can also get professional help.

Friends and counselors have different perspectives and levels of knowledge. Professional help can give friends a deeper understanding.

3. Know what you want?

Knowing what you want is key to deciding whether to stay in a relationship. What are your core needs?

Knowing what you want helps you know what you need to let go of. But knowing your true needs is not easy.

We must know ourselves, understand and appreciate ourselves, and learn to reflect on ourselves. This helps us find our core needs.

Once you know your core need, it depends on the relationship and whether the other person can meet it.

4. Personality is always changing.

Although personality is stable, it develops. In the post, the host mentioned a person's personality and outlook on love and asked if it can change. It can.

From a psychological point of view, he must recognize his problems and take the initiative to change them.

If you don't know your own problems, it's hard to change. Psychology says we can't change others or control them.

We can only control ourselves.

I hope this helps and inspires you. If you have questions, you can also find a coach for one-on-one communication.

Dear Landlord,

The landlord is a very caring person.

In the event that my friend encounters such a situation, how might I provide comfort? The following are my personal views, which I hope will be of some assistance.

Problem 1: What type of individual is this? How should I interact with them?

It is important to recognise that everyone has shortcomings. A successful marriage is built on the foundation of two individuals who are committed to working through their issues and becoming a better version of themselves.

It is important to note that everyone has shortcomings of one kind or another. This applies to the landlord's friend and her husband as well.

The individual in question displays characteristics of a domestic abuser, exhibits paranoid tendencies, is stubborn, and places a higher value on money than on other factors.

Both parties have experienced a lack of security and love due to the influence of their original families, which has resulted in a lack of mutual tolerance.

From an external perspective, the landlord is able to identify these issues more clearly than the friend and her husband, who are directly involved.

As a result, both parties experience distress and discomfort. Even if one individual recognizes the issue and makes concessions, it may help to reduce the conflict to some extent.

However, if there is no willingness to compromise or make concessions, the situation will likely deteriorate further.

The man's decision to call the police and seek reconciliation indicates that he is not prepared to abandon the marriage entirely.

Furthermore, the recent incident of domestic violence has caused significant distress to the woman, making it challenging for her to move forward.

The ability of the woman to accept the man's plea for reconciliation is therefore the key factor.

If you accept this, the next step is to have the man sign a written promise that he will not engage in similar behavior in the future.

Everyone makes mistakes. The key is to acknowledge your mistakes, implement changes, and demonstrate a willingness to improve.

If there is no intention to change at all, it would be prudent to carefully consider whether to continue this marriage.

Question 2: Is it feasible to modify the personality and outlook on love of such an individual?

It is challenging to alter the fundamental perspective on love that is shaped by familial influences and upbringing.

However, when they encounter a person they care about and with whom they have formed a connection, they will naturally make compromises and concessions for the benefit of the other person.

If you do not make concessions, it demonstrates that neither party is concerned about the other's feelings.

The ability to accept each other's shortcomings and make concessions is also indicative of a loving relationship.

Question 3: Is it worth reconsidering the decision to turn back?

It is not within the host's purview to make this decision; it is for the host's friend to make it herself.

The original poster can provide the following advice to your friend:

Should she return, accept the reconciliation.

As previously stated, everyone has certain shortcomings. The decision of whether to accept your partner's shortcomings, whether to tolerate them, and whether to give them another chance to improve is solely up to your friend. The determination of whether it is worthwhile is also a personal choice.

2. Should she decline the opportunity for reconciliation, it would be inadvisable to pursue it further.

Given the circumstances, it is only fair to respect the decision of the host's friend to leave.

In a marriage, the key consideration is not whether there is love or not, but whether the situation is justifiable. Can I tolerate the unfairness and unkindness I am facing?

If you have reached the point where you are unable to continue, the best course of action is to end the relationship.

It should be noted that, regardless of whether children are involved, marriage is a significant issue that affects more than one individual.

It is, at the very least, a matter that affects both families.

Furthermore, marriage represents a significant challenge to one's humanity, while simultaneously fostering patience. It also serves as an invaluable training ground in life.

I hope the friend of the host will be able to find resolution to his situation soon.

I am Warm June, and I extend my warmest regards to you and the world.

Dear Sir/Madam, It is a great privilege for TA to have a friend like you.

Firstly, it must be acknowledged that your situation falls under the category of proxy consultation. In essence, the counselor will decline on the basis that the client is not experiencing a lack of understanding.

The more information is provided and the more realistic the situation is, the more effective the consultation will typically be.

Secondly, as previously stated, your friend's husband appears to exhibit characteristics associated with certain personality disorders. If this is indeed the case, it suggests that he is unlikely to heed the advice of others and is instead inclined to believe that his own perspective is the correct one. It is therefore challenging to maintain a positive and constructive relationship with such an individual, and it is often necessary to simply tolerate their behaviour.

In general, the quality of life is likely to improve after the age of 45.

Ultimately, it is only the couple themselves who can determine whether they can coexist harmoniously. In general, there are a few key dimensions that should be taken into account.

First, it is important to ascertain whether one party depends on the other party's income to sustain their livelihood. Second, it is essential to determine whether the individual's appreciation for the other person's positive attributes remains intact.

Thirdly, it is essential to ascertain whether the other person in question exhibits characteristics that are wholly unacceptable. In the event that the initial two criteria are met, it is possible to continue with one's life unhindered.

If the first two dimensions are negative and the last one is also negative, the quality of life is significantly diminished.

It is advisable to refrain from discussing the specifics of the situation and instead offer a personal perspective. It is generally unwise to provide counsel regarding the trajectory of a marriage, as the individual who offers such guidance may become the target of resentment if the couple ultimately diverges from the advice provided.

It is my sincere hope that this information will prove to be of assistance.

First, we will examine how a bigoted and stubborn personality is formed.

1. It is undoubtedly related to one's early growth experiences.

For example, growing up in a family environment where there is mistrust, rejection, and constant criticism. A lack of maternal love, constant suppression, and denial.

Children with a paranoid personality are more likely to come from single-parent families. Furthermore, genetic factors play a role: if the father also has this personality, the child will learn this way of behaving from a young age.

2. Lack of inner security

If a person lacks a sense of security, their inner world will be more sensitive, and they will react strongly to minor things. This will cause them to try every means to avoid being hurt, resulting in them overreacting in many situations.

3. Adverse social environment

Some are growing up in an environment of discrimination, economic hardship, and limited access to education. This can lead to the development of paranoid personality traits and other abnormal psychological phenomena.

It is important to note that academic research has clearly demonstrated that patients with paranoid personality disorder are at an extremely high risk of developing schizophrenia.

If such a personality disorder is formed, it is difficult to change. Such people are stubborn, sensitive, suspicious, and over-alert, which often puts them in a state of alertness and tension. They misinterpret neutral or well-intentioned actions of others, lack a correct assessment of the context of events, and are prone to pathological jealousy. If it is very serious, you must seek professional help.

It is important to understand the distinction between paranoid personality disorder and a somewhat paranoid personality. The former is more challenging to change, and a diagnosis of personality disorder is based on clinical criteria. A conclusion can only be drawn if the relevant diagnostic criteria are met. The DSM–5 provides a clear and detailed description of paranoid personality disorder.

How do you get along with someone with such a personality?

People with extreme views think and process information differently than ordinary people. This makes communication skills an essential part of interacting with them.

First, don't confront them, don't discriminate against them, don't look at them with strange eyes, don't belittle them with rude language, and avoid direct confrontation with them and arguing about who's right. They just want to prove that they are right, so don't give them the satisfaction.

Second, when dealing with people who are biased, you must appeal to their emotions and reason with them, avoiding the wrong subjects. Affirm the right side of the argument. Give in to them when appropriate. They always want to prove that they are right, so if you don't want to argue, just give in to them. People with a biased personality lack a sense of security inside, which is why they appear so hard on the outside. Give them more love.

You will be more tolerant of him if you understand the deeper reasons for his personality.

It is difficult to change one's values. The woman wants the man to change his values to satisfy her own needs, but this is the wrong approach. You should explore yourself inwardly.

If you always focus on the other person and try to change them without exploring yourself, changing yourself, and growing yourself, you will never have a good relationship. I'm not saying that the man doesn't need to change, but both people need to reflect on themselves. Marriage is a dance between two people, and it comes from cooperation.

Your friend needs to go to counseling and explore herself. It's the best thing she can do.

I wish you the best!

Hello!

Your friend is lucky to have you as a friend!

People can heal from their original families in intimate relationships, but it can also be a re-enactment. If we have such a situation, we should try to fix it and make it a help, not a hindrance.

I work as a marriage mediator and see many cases of domestic violence. The woman in this case filed for divorce after three years of abuse. She asked the police for help to protect herself.

Domestic violence usually happens once, then a second time, and then a third time. Don't expect the other person to change. You have to ask your girlfriend what she wants if the other person can't change.

Is it money? Or security?

If there's domestic violence, how can you feel safe?

Question from the original poster:

Question 1: What kind of person is this person? How should we get along with him? Question 2: Can his outlook on love be changed? It is difficult to change a person. Only God can change him! He can only change when he realizes the severity of the problem and wants to change himself!

Don't expect anything! How bad the man is today might be because of his family.

He sees this as the model for husband-and-wife relationships. He believes money is important, that he can be violent towards his wife, and that if he can't get his way, he'll hit her. There is no other way to get along!

Question 3: Is it worth going back? Think carefully about what you want.

If she can put up with it, she can stay in the relationship. Then protect yourself!

For example, find something to protect you and avoid the route. When conflict escalates, leave the scene. Don't confront your partner. Wait until they're in a better mood to communicate.

I hope this helps the original poster and your girlfriend!

Dear question asker, I perceive your confusion, and I extend my support to you.

You are encountering difficulties in your friend's marriage. I extend my sympathies to you.

Your friend is fortunate to have a supportive friend like you, and I am certain she will feel greatly reassured.

However, it seems that your motivation for seeking advice is driven by your desire to assist your friend.

Furthermore, it is evident that she does not desire assistance.

If she does not request assistance, there is no recourse. The fundamental tenet of counseling is that help is provided only with a request.

Moreover, it is generally advised that one refrain from offering counsel on marital matters, as they are considered to be a private family issue.

Should you inadvertently cause difficulties in your friend's marriage, it may result in the loss of your friendship.

To avoid inadvertently causing harm through well-intentioned actions, it is advisable to refrain from involvement in your friend's marriage.

Naturally, if your friend seeks your counsel directly, the situation would be regarded as distinct.

At that juncture, it would be advisable to offer her counsel, such as the option of seeking assistance from a qualified psychological counselor.

It is my sincere hope that the issue you are currently experiencing can be resolved in the near future.

At this juncture, I am only able to offer these suggestions.

It is my sincere hope that my above response is both helpful and inspiring to you. As the respondent, I endeavor to study assiduously each day.

At Yiyi Psychology, we extend our best wishes to all.

Hello, my name is Strawberry.

It seems that the questioner values her friend highly and is keen to offer support. However, she feels that she may not be the best person to handle this particular issue. This is a good approach, as there are many experienced professionals and knowledgeable individuals on this platform who can provide insight and guidance.

The questioner's friend has been married for three years, but they have been separated for a year and a half. During this period, the man was trying to save the marriage. The reason they chose to separate was because the man hit the questioner's friend, and he even had an emotional breakdown at the police station. There is a zero-tolerance policy for domestic violence, and it is important to understand the circumstances under which a person might lose control and hit a woman. It can be assumed that at that time, he was allowing himself to lose control and wanted to use violence to achieve some of his demands. He was also testing your friend's attitude towards the demands of the questioner's friend. If she would forgive him the first time, then there was a possibility that he would lose control again afterwards, and getting into a police station was an outcome he did not expect.

This man has some extreme traits, including a stubborn streak, a tendency to only accept his own point of view, and a hint of inferiority complex. His concept of love is that money can maintain a relationship between two people, and money is more important than trust. This is the questioner's summary of this man. From such a personality, it is common for him to pay more attention to his own feelings and emotions and neglect the feelings of others. He thinks that money can maintain a relationship between two people. This is a concept that the questioner has identified: he has an inferiority complex. Because of this complex, he thinks that money can get everything, including love. This is a concept that may need some adjustment.

I wonder, what kind of person is this? How exactly should I get along with them?

I wonder if it might be possible to change the personality and outlook on love of someone like this.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether it would be worthwhile to consider going back.

1. Perhaps you could ask your friends why they are wavering.

We are all outsiders, and sometimes giving too many ideas can make us seem like we're trying to force a solution. A friend of mine and her husband often quarrel, and whenever they do, they say they want to get a divorce. Seeing them struggle, I suggested that if neither of them is willing to consider a different approach, then getting a divorce might be a solution. As a result, every few days they get along well again and show off their affection in every way, making it seem like I'm the one trying to break up their marriage. So after that, when they came to me for help with their marital problems, I suggested that they consider all options and choose the one that feels right for them.

In terms of a man trying to win back his wife, it seems that the questioner's friend only sought your help because she was unsure of how to proceed. Although she said she trusts you and wants to listen to your advice, this is her own emotional matter. I suggest the questioner tread carefully and not say too much. If they do get back together, there is a chance that she will inwardly complain more or less if anything hurtful happens in the future.

As an adult, if she is unable to be firm about her own choices, it may indicate that she is struggling to handle her own emotional issues effectively. It might be helpful to inquire with her about her reasons for still considering the other person's attempts to win her back and whether she has already forgiven the other person for their previous actions.

2. It can be challenging to effect change in someone who is reluctant to embrace it.

A person's character and outlook on life are shaped by a number of factors, including their upbringing, the people they meet, and the education they receive. Once a person's character and outlook on life are formed, it can be challenging for others to convince them to change if they don't recognize the need to do so.

The questioner also mentioned that the other person tends to believe in their own ideas and can be somewhat stubborn. It may be challenging to imagine who could convince such a person. Over the past year and a half, has he made any significant changes because of the mistakes he made before? If he is still the same, it may be difficult to discuss changes in his character and values.

It is not impossible for a person to change their character and outlook on life. Seeking psychological counseling is about shaping a new self. If the other person has sought professional psychological counseling, it is possible that they can change.

3. It is important to respect your friend's decision, regardless of what it may be.

As outsiders, we cannot fully comprehend the complexities of their emotions. When confronted with instances of domestic violence, individuals often suggest that the abused party should simply leave. However, each person's situation is unique, and their decisions are often shaped by factors that may not be apparent to others. My friend's case is a prime example. Despite the evident distress they are experiencing, they are reluctant to consider separation.

It's possible that they each have their own thoughts and still want to continue the relationship. They may be unwilling to give up what they have put into it, unwilling to go to the trouble of getting to know someone else after getting to know each other, used to the way they get along with each other, and still thinking fondly of the other person. In such a case, the questioner could analyze the pros and cons for their friend, consider what might happen if they continue to be together, and what might happen if they don't continue to be together. The questioner could then give the initiative to their friend, respecting her no matter what choice she makes.

I hope my answer is helpful to the questioner. Wishing you well.

Greetings, question asker.

I consider myself fortunate to have read your words. You display admirable qualities, and it is a privilege to have a friend like you. The couple in question have been married for three years and separated for a year and a half.

The incident resulted in the woman being physically assaulted by the man, which led to their subsequent appearance at the local police station. The man has since been seeking a reconciliation with his spouse.

From the information provided, it is unclear which of the parties involved has experienced a breakdown in emotional stability.

It should be noted that the following response is intended for reference only.

From the information provided in the writing, it can be surmised that the man's character is somewhat extreme, particularly when it comes to matters pertaining to their relationship. He is notably stubborn in his views and actions.

One can only accept one's own point of view. Furthermore, the man in question seems to believe that money can sustain a relationship between two people, and that money is more important than trust. Despite the separation having lasted for a year and a half, he has not divorced. It is reasonable to inquire as to what his wife is thinking. There must be a reason behind her decision.

One might inquire as to whether the motivation for this separation is rooted in romantic love or financial considerations.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the couple has children.

It is possible that the woman is contemplating the matter further. In the case of a situation such as this, it would be preferable for the individual in question to approach the platform directly to seek guidance or inquire about the matter.

Secondly, the character of men is discussed. In the original family, two sets of relationships have the greatest impact on our ability to develop and manage intimate relationships.

Firstly, the relationship with one's parents is of primary importance.

Secondly, the relationship between parents is of significance.

A man's character may be related to his family of origin. It is therefore recommended that an examination of this area be undertaken. This should entail an analysis of the way in which his parents got along and an evaluation of whether there are similarities to the way they interact now.

It may be possible to identify some reasons.

Subsequently, the five abilities of love in marriage—emotion management, expression of love, empathy, permission, and influence—function as a comprehensive system that reinforces and enhances each other, and are therefore indispensable. A reliance on a single ability may yield suboptimal outcomes. The five abilities of love constitute a unified system.

The initial stage of the process is to meet one's own needs.

The second level of love is defined as "self-righteous" giving.

The third level of love is meeting the other person's needs.

Genuine love entails fulfilling the other person's needs based on their requirements, not on one's personal opinions. Consequently, both individuals must possess self-awareness.

It is also possible that there may be topics that have not been discussed prior to the marriage. The decision of whether or not the wife will return depends on her own volition.

It is not possible for another individual to make decisions on her behalf.

The question thus arises as to whether a man's character and views on love can be changed. The answer is affirmative.

The fundamental question is whether the husband is willing to undergo a change in his attitudes and behaviors. There are professional psychological counseling services available to assist them, as well as marriage and family courses that they can attend to gain insight and guidance. Are they willing to do so?

Genuine love entails meeting the needs of the other person. It requires using one's heart to comprehend the other person's needs and desires and then fulfilling them. While it need not be costly, it can profoundly impress the other person and evoke a profound sense of love.

Fromm posits that love is not primarily a relationship with a specific person, but rather an attitude and disposition of the personality. These attitudes and dispositions shape a person's relationship to the world in general, rather than to a specific object of love.

"If an individual's affections are directed exclusively towards a single person and they exhibit indifference towards all others, it is not accurate to describe their attachment as 'love'. Rather, it is a form of symbiotic attachment or an exaggerated manifestation of egoism."

Hello! I'm learning so much from one psychology class.

Reading your question, I feel like I don't have much experience, but I really want to share my thoughts with you and see if they help at all!

First of all, you are her friend. I know you care about your friend, and at the same time, he is your best friend. You want to help him out of his predicament and help her as much as possible.

At the same time, we also want to remind you that it's better to make some decisions on your own.

Your friend has to make her own decision, but we're happy to help you with this one too!

For instance, my answer to you is just meant to be a helpful reference for you. I just want to share my thoughts with you.

First of all, you can really feel whether the relationship is good or not when you are together. If the other person really loves you, or if you really love the other person, this feeling should be really sweet and happy.

If you're feeling torn between staying together or going your separate ways, I can understand why. Sometimes, a good separation is better than a forced togetherness. It can make you a little happier.

I really think that if it's really hard to be together, it might be better for you to separate. It's just like if we like someone. If we really appreciate and like him, we won't think about whether we like him or not. We'll just want to be with him every day and see him every day.

So, if we're struggling with whether or not to be together, we actually already have the answer in our hearts. It's that we want to leave. Being together is forcing ourselves to do it because of morality and responsibility.

It can be really tough to decide to separate. But you can give yourself a firm choice after careful consideration and determination.

At the same time, we have to ask ourselves: will we regret our choice?

If we know we won't regret it, then we should make a brave decision and go down the road without looking back. What will happen if we separate?

What if you stay together? Let's think about it together.

Then you'll be making the best decision you'll ever regret.

I also know that people can change. All it takes is for them to be willing to change themselves.

We can't force someone to wake up if they're pretending to be asleep. If someone isn't ready to change, trying to change them won't help anyone. People change on their own, and it's not helpful to try to force that.

At the same time, if he is willing to change and learn, then there is still hope that you can get along well together. So we need to know if he is willing to change himself, and from now on give him time to gradually get better.

I know this is a tough situation for you, and I'm here to support you through it. What happens to you is really important to you, and I'm here to help you navigate this challenge.

This is especially true when it's something unpleasant. It's also important to remember to adjust our mindset before making a decision.

Take a moment to think before you act. And don't worry about overthinking!

If you think it through, you can make a decision. And we absolutely need to love ourselves!

If you decide to love yourself, then be responsible for yourself.

And that's good for others, too! When making a decision, don't worry too much about how it will affect other people. We should start with ourselves, love ourselves first, and then love others.

I know it can be tough, but try to make a decision that is good for both of you.

Thank you so much for your question. I really hope that after some careful thought, everything will be okay.