After returning to my hometown at 12, I gradually became introverted, and the impact has not been eliminated, unable to take this step forward.

Hello. After the age of 12, you experienced a change in your living environment, which may have contributed to a sense of insecurity. In response to this, you may have withdrawn from attention and connections.

As you grow up, you may come to realize that the inner unrest and conflicts you have experienced still affect your interpersonal relationships. You may also find that you have many worries and fears about your choices.

Twelve-year-olds are entering a period of significant change, known as puberty. This is a time when adolescents are establishing their identity. It is important to remember that the environment can have a strong influence on this process, including parental guidance and example, and the approval of peers. This period is also prone to contradictions. While adolescents may long for independence and uniqueness, they also need to integrate into the group and feel a sense of belonging. If the living environment lacks tolerance and support, it may prevent the child from establishing an identity and forming a clear understanding of "who I am and what kind of person I want to become."

Additionally, when one feels unsafe in an external environment and does not receive care and support, it can lead to a state of constant alertness. This is because one may feel that the people around them are not trustworthy and may rely on themselves to protect themselves. This constant alertness and tension can be extremely draining, leaving no resources or energy to try a different interpersonal approach and experience positive emotional feelings.

It can be challenging to ask for help when you're used to being on your own. Having less experience with this can contribute to feelings of anxiety.

However, you have now recognized the possibility that you may require assistance, and you have already taken the first step by writing this brief essay and asking a question, sharing your experiences and inner feelings with people you don't know. This is a significant step forward and a courageous attempt. At the same time, it is also an expression of your self-care. You have begun to allow and encourage yourself to try new ways to deal with difficulties, which is an admirable approach.

The term "self-care" is quite broad and encompasses a variety of concepts. It includes the ability to recognize and accept your emotional feelings, as well as the right to choose and affirm your efforts and endeavors. Additionally, self-care is reflected in various aspects of life, such as maintaining physical and mental well-being.

You mentioned that you have largely overcome the difficulties of the past, which is a testament to your resilience. It is understandable that entering a new environment now can trigger feelings of discomfort. On the one hand, an unfamiliar environment can be unsettling because it introduces uncertainty and a lack of readily available resources. On the other hand, negative past feelings can be triggered by external stimuli, which suggests that there may still be aspects of your emotions that require your attention and processing.

You might consider seeking help from doctors or counselors, or at the very least, give yourself the option of exploring a way that suits you in the practice of self-care.