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Feel better from depression but still can't control emotions, using harsh words towards parents?

epidemic family issues depression anxiety emotional control
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Feel better from depression but still can't control emotions, using harsh words towards parents? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

In the second semester of my sophomore year, I stayed at my father's house (my parents are divorced) due to the epidemic. Because of some things and previous events that were weighing on my mind, I exploded with them, and our relationship became very bad. I always stayed alone in my room, and the repressive environment made me suffer from mild depression. Then came the art training camp in my senior year, and the pressure made me suffer from severe depression and severe anxiety.

Afterwards, I also received treatment and felt that I had already recovered. But I still can't help losing my temper with my mother and stepfather. I know that no one can understand everything about you, but I always lose control of my emotions and yell at them, saying things like "then I'll die."

I know it hurts them, but I just can't help it. When I get emotional, I lose my temper a bit. Is there any way to fix this?

Brody Nguyen Brody Nguyen A total of 9410 people have been helped

We often let our control-emotions-using-harsh-words-towards-parents-5740.html" target="_blank">emotions out without thinking in the places we feel safest, and we share our stress with those we love.

Psychotherapy is a long process, and it's tough to detach from our everyday lives to undergo treatment. It's challenging to fight an illness while dealing with the pressures of daily life, which can lead to a vicious cycle of treatment.

So, even if the symptoms have gone away, you still need to keep up with your therapist until you're fully in control of your life.

It's important to understand that some of the behaviors and actions you exhibit when symptoms strike are not within your control. It can be frustrating to be unable to control a feeling that you know is there. You can discuss these things with your family, let them know how you're doing and understand your thoughts, which can help you prevent problems.

It's not realistic to think you can gain control over your emotions in a short period of time.

However, we can keep making small adjustments so we can gradually gain control over our emotions. Finding an emotional outlet that suits you can help reduce your sense of powerlessness. The more emotional stress you accumulate, the more slowly you'll lose control over yourself.

If you think your parents are sad because they've lost control, you need to be strong and brave. Show them you're a strong, healthy person and they'll be comforted.

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Rachelle Lee Rachelle Lee A total of 2493 people have been helped

It's okay to feel this way sometimes. We all do. It's just a matter of finding the right way to deal with these feelings. It could be that you need a "safe environment." This is a place where you feel secure and loved. It's a place where you can be yourself and feel accepted. If you feel cooped up in your room, anxious, depressed, and losing your temper, it might be because you don't have a safe environment right now.

You haven't done anything wrong, sweetheart. You've just temporarily lost your way. You just haven't found a better way to solve the problem yet, and if you had, you wouldn't have acted in this way.

I'm here to help! There are a few ways you can try.

I know it can be tough, but try to believe that your parents love you, even if they are divorced. They love you in a different way, which might not be what you want, but they still love you. I know it can be hard, but try to believe that you were not born depressed, and you will not remain depressed forever. I know you might feel like your behaviors are a sign that you are depressed, but I promise you that behind all behaviors there is a positive desire for needs. I know you might not feel like you have found a better way to satisfy these needs, but I promise you that you will.

You're not doing anything wrong, sweetheart. You're just temporarily lost.

It's okay to let go of the zero-sum game with the outside world and the struggle for control. This includes, but is not limited to, the struggle with parents, the struggle with your own heart, and the struggle with "fate."

Everyone needs a sense of security, and that's okay! It's great if the outside world can meet your needs, but external support is always temporary. You've got this! You just need to learn to rely on yourself to give yourself enough love and continuous support, and have the ability to create a sense of security for yourself.

It's so important to learn to solve problems through collaborative cooperation, rather than either listening to others or yourself. And it's really helpful to get rid of the zero-sum game approach, giving up control or being controlled.

Instead of focusing on the problems, try to focus on the bright spots!

Do your best with what you know, what you can do, and what you can handle.

If it hurts, don't worry! It just means you might need to adjust your technique a little.

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Cameron Cameron A total of 3706 people have been helped

Hello! I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar!

I'm so proud of you for overcoming your depression through your own efforts and for having such awareness and understanding of your current emotional state. I really hope that my sharing can give you some support and help!

Emotions are neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. They're simply a sign that something needs to be met or an expectation hasn't been met. And that's okay! Emotions need to be seen, accepted, and responded to.

Embrace your temper tantrums and yelling at your parents! When you're aware of your emotions, you can consciously adjust them to suit the situation. This helps you and those around you avoid any harm.

When you feel like losing your temper, try to notice what you want to achieve by losing your temper. You're actually trying to satisfy those needs within yourself, such as being valued, cared for, understood, and supported. Then ask yourself if there are other ways and methods to express your needs better. When this is difficult, you can try to keep an emotional diary to better record your emotions, explore the needs hidden behind the emotions, and seek better ways and methods to respond and satisfy the needs.

For example, when an emotion strikes, you can take a deep breath to focus your attention on your body and better experience and feel your physical and mental reactions in that moment. If possible, try to leave the scene of the emotion and give yourself a moment of calm solitude with your inner self. You can also promptly record which emotions you are feeling at that moment, as well as your physical and mental reactions, which will help you better perceive and understand your emotions. Of course, you can also try naming your emotions in a way that will help you better understand and explore the needs behind them. You can also wear a rubber band on your hand and pull it when you are about to lose your temper, using the rubber band's bounce as a reminder to yourself.

Once you know what your needs are and why you're feeling a certain way, you can have an amazing conversation with your parents about how you want to be treated. And don't forget to share how you're feeling and what you're experiencing, too!

Absolutely! You can also try to give yourself the response and satisfaction you need through your own efforts. You can try treating yourself this way first. After all, no one can always be with you except yourself, and no one knows you better than yourself.

I am the answerer, Yang Lili, and I love you all so much!

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Freya White Freya White A total of 6372 people have been helped

Good day, colleague. I can see the confusion you are facing right now. Please accept my best regards.

You are exhibiting some behavioral issues. Please accept this additional gesture of support.

Classmate, I would like to offer you my opinion.

It is important to note that depression can lead to a tendency to internalize negative emotions, which can manifest as self-directed aggression or even as aggression directed towards one's family.

Please explain the rationale behind this decision.

You are aware that "home is a place where love is spoken, not reason."

However, you are also aware of the issue.

Once you become aware of it, you have the option to change yourself. However, changing yourself is often the most challenging thing to do.

You may wish to consider keeping a sandbag or similar item at home for future reference.

When experiencing an emotional state, you may utilize the sandbag as a means of self-expression.

If a gym is available at your school, you may wish to consider engaging in a one-on-one boxing match with the trainer.

In instances where you are unable to control your emotions, it is advisable to take a brief walk in the fresh air.

As an example, consider going for a jog or taking a brisk walk in your neighborhood.

Once you have changed your environment and returned home, you will find it easier to control your temper when dealing with your family.

If necessary, I also suggest that you seek assistance from a professional counselor or utilize the new instant counseling room function on this platform.

The counselor is better positioned to provide more pertinent, useful, and constructive advice from a third-party perspective, free from the biases of a critical eye and an objective attitude.

I hope you will be able to find an effective solution to the problem you are facing as soon as possible.

I have no further suggestions at this time.

I hope my above responses are helpful and inspiring to you. I am available to answer any further questions you may have. I study hard every day.

At Yixinli, we extend our best wishes to you and the world.

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Comments

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Clyde Davis A man can fail many times, but he isn't a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.

I can totally relate to feeling overwhelmed by emotions. It sounds like you've been through a lot, and it's understandable that you're still struggling. Maybe finding a way to channel those feelings into something productive could help, like writing or exercising.

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Tulip Jackson The joy of learning is in the discovery of something new every day.

It seems like your situation has been really tough. Have you considered speaking with a therapist? Sometimes having a professional guide you through these intense emotions can provide new strategies for managing them effectively.

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Arabella Grant Truth is the glue that holds society together.

You've already taken a big step by acknowledging the issue. Perhaps setting up small goals for managing your reactions could be beneficial. When you feel anger rising, try taking deep breaths or stepping away for a moment to cool down.

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Eulalia Anderson Be as good as your word and your word will be as good as gold.

The relationship with your parents must be hard right now. It might help to have an open conversation with them about how you feel, explaining that you're working on controlling your outbursts and asking for their patience and understanding.

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Marianne West Learning is a dialogue between the self and the world.

Knowing that your words hurt them but not being able to stop is frustrating. Creating a 'safe word' or signal that you can use when you feel yourself getting too emotional might give you a chance to pause before things escalate.

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