Have attempted suicide, diagnosed with bipolar disorder, how to view one's "abnormal" state?

Hello, question asker!

From your description, I can feel your inner powerlessness and confusion. But you have so much courage to come here and write out your problems! That shows you want to vent your emotions and get some support. You want to find a breakthrough that will make you feel a little more comfortable. Is that right?

After reading your description, I want to give you a big, warm hug! I know you're actually very conflicted inside, and you don't want it to be like this, which is why you have a lot of self-doubt. But from your description, I can also see that you have so many strengths! This shows that no one is ordinary, and everyone has their own shortcomings and strengths.

I don't know what you've been through, but I want you to know that you're not to blame. You don't want these things to happen. It's uncontrollable. It may be genetic, or it may be due to external reasons, or it may be something we've experienced, or the atmosphere of our family education, etc. But you can control how you feel about it!

You shared some of your hurtful behaviors and your contact with a counselor. You felt uncomfortable when you felt that the counselor was unwilling to receive you. This is totally normal! We all have to be aware of whether this is a fact or our feelings. Sometimes, other people's reactions to us completely depend on our new activities. If we are sensitive enough to catch other people's strange words or looks, we will feel that other people have different opinions about us. This is very normal! Everyone will have it, except that you may be more sensitive. You didn't say it, but I know you're not. When you couldn't help but scold your counselor in the counseling room, you felt very guilty. This is totally normal! We all do things we regret. You looked for someone else to scold you to relieve the uncomfortable emotions inside. This is a great way to start working through them!

In your case, we don't know what you've been through, but I want to tell you that as long as you want, you can slowly control your emotions. You see, there are many celebrities who have experienced a lot of hardships and have ultimately overcome themselves by choosing to break through and achieve themselves. Of course, this process can be very difficult. After all, what he shows us is only the good, and the emotions he bears are only known to himself. But you can do it!

All relationships are between us and ourselves. When we have various emotions, we must try to accept ourselves and allow ourselves to have uncomfortable emotions, because that is not what we want. At the same time, we must also go with the flow and not force ourselves to do anything. We must be able to do what we fear, and the more we worry about something, the more we will want to challenge it. In this way, we will not avoid it, and in this way, we can bravely face it and look at it correctly.

Hello, host. Thanks for the question. From what you've shared, I get the sense that in real life, you're a great person, but you're also a pretty intense individual with some inner conflicts.

You've described lots of instances of self-harm and self-injury. From what I've seen, it seems like you're unable to express the pain and anger you're feeling in other ways. You're resorting to self-harm as a way to vent negative emotions and maintain psychological balance.

As we discussed, you ranked in the top 30 overall last semester and won prizes in the 400-meter and 5,000-meter long-distance running. These achievements show that you're better than most people in real life.

These achievements also suppress and restrain you, so you don't dare truly relax. This state of tension is consistent with the persona others have created for you, and the script already includes a lot of self-harming behaviors.

One thing we don't know is whether you've ever had a good cry. Sometimes, letting it all out can really help to relax your body and mind. After a good cry, you'll feel twice as strong.

From what I've read, you seem to be a very energetic person with a positive and enterprising spirit. It's like the driving force behind your self-harm.

To use a mathematical concept, this is like an absolute value. The strength of your self-harm is proportional to the strength of your efforts to improve. However, you're using that strength in the wrong direction.

The counselor's comment that you are very strong is an objective assessment of the extent of your self-harm and doesn't contain any emotional undertones. If you think the counselor doesn't like you, it's probably just a projection on your part. It's likely that your negative thoughts about yourself are what the counselor is picking up on.

It's likely that these self-harming behaviors originate from within, stemming from a lack of self-love. It's possible that you validate these thoughts by attacking yourself.

I'm happy to have an appointment. 1983. The world and I love you!

I'm really sorry to hear about everything you've been through. I just want to say that I'm here for you and I understand what you're going through. You've shown a lot of strength and courage in the face of some pretty tough challenges.

No matter what the outcome, every attempt you make is a valuable learning experience. You've shown a real desire to understand and improve yourself, which is pretty rare and valuable.

First, when it comes to the idea of "abnormality," it's important to remember that everyone's life story is unique, and we all face our own challenges and difficulties. What you've experienced, though it's been really tough, has shaped you into who you are today.

These experiences, even though they've been tough, have also helped you think deeply about yourself and understand different aspects of life. In this sense, your "abnormalities" are part of your growth and self-discovery process, and they don't define your whole identity or label you in any way.

When it comes to psychological counseling, it's normal to feel like the therapist doesn't understand you or is rejecting you. It can feel like the world is closing in on you.

However, what you really need to remember is that this is not the end. Every psychologist has their own area of expertise and treatment methods, and it may take time and patience to find one that really suits you.

The frustration of this process is also part of finding the most suitable help. Don't lose confidence because of it. You deserve the most suitable and beneficial support.

I also want to say that your value isn't defined by your challenges. You mentioned your achievements in school and sports, which show your abilities and hard work.

They're just as important and show that you have what it takes to overcome challenges. Try to find those positive and encouraging voices among the self-doubting ones. They're just as real as the negative ones.

I'd like to offer you some advice that I hope will be helpful:

1. Keep looking for the right therapist. Different therapists have different professional backgrounds and treatment methods, and some are better at understanding and adapting to your needs than others. Don't be afraid to try talking to different therapists until you find the one who makes you feel understood and supported.

2. Open communication: Be as open and honest as possible about your feelings and needs in your interactions with your therapist. This will help the therapist understand you better and make the treatment more effective.

3. There are lots of different ways to get support. You can try online counseling, support groups, or anonymous forums. These can be great for getting extra help and understanding.

4. Self-care: Find what works for you in terms of self-care, whether it's exercise, reading, creative arts, or spending time with friends. These activities can help you relieve stress and boost your sense of self-worth.

5. Celebrate every small victory. Every step forward is worth recognizing and celebrating. This could be sticking to your daily treatment plan or feeling a little better than usual on a certain day. Either way, it's a sign of progress.

Finally, I want to tell you that even though the road may seem rough and uneven, believe that every step is a step forward, and every attempt brings you closer to inner peace and understanding. Your journey is full of courage and hope, and even in the darkest moments, there is always light waiting ahead.

Keep at it, have faith in yourself, and remember that there are plenty of opportunities out there for you down the road.

Hello, my name is Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey, and I'm a heart exploration coach.

It's so sad to see what the OP is going through. I wish I could understand what kind of environment could have caused such harm. I'd like to give her some attention and a hug.

Everyone has their own unique secrets. It's totally understandable to want to retain a part of your own uniqueness while ensuring that you can heal yourself without harming others. The questioner may not have to feel frustrated about this.

It's also a good idea to try out a counselor for a little while to see if they're a good fit. If the counselor isn't willing to help, it might just be that they're busy or that they're helping you think about things in a new way. When you're feeling unsure, it can be helpful to just ask your counselor.

It's possible that the questioner is self-harming because they have a lot of pent-up emotions that they can't express in other ways. Sometimes, self-harm can be a way to release those emotions. It might help the questioner to become more aware of their emotions and recognize that they exist. This could help them regulate them better.

Perfection is divine, not human, so there is no god in the world. It's okay to accept your own shortcomings. You're not to blame. You've simply chosen a way to vent your emotions. And you're great! You have so many strengths. When you recognize these, you'll see yourself more objectively.

I think you'll find that if you do what is described in "The 5% Difference," you'll be able to feel better. For the next week, just assume that your negative emotions are wearing cloaks of invisibility and silencers. This means that you can't see what they say or do. They won't be able to influence you for the rest of the week, and you can do whatever you want, regardless of whether they deny you or not. You won't hear them or care.

It has no influence on you at all. Then see if this makes you feel better (because it is more positive)? I really hope it does!

Or maybe you feel even worse because you've lost your usual way to express your emotions?

It can really help to keep an emotional diary. This is a great way to identify your emotions and triggers. It's also a good reminder to pause and find a different way to deal with your emotions the next time they come along and try to hurt you.

There's a great saying: "The trauma is not your fault, but recovery is your responsibility." Try to tell yourself, "I can do it," and set yourself small goals at each stage to gradually heal the wounded self. You've got this!

I really think you'd benefit from reading "5% Change" and "Living a Life You Don't Own."

And finally, I'd like to give the original poster another big hug and wish you all the best!

Hello! I just wanted to give you a warm hug from afar. I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling distressed.

I'm sure you'd never want to hurt yourself. We all know that how we're treated affects how we treat ourselves and others.

I can tell from your description that you must have received very little emotional support from your parents during your growth. It's likely that you felt more like being abandoned, neglected, and unloved.

As a child, your natural inclination to be loyal and loving towards your parents led you to accept and internalize their emotional neglect and indifference. You may have even believed that it was because you were unlovable and undeserving of their affection. It's understandable if you feel this way.

I think it's safe to say that this is more about your anger and grievances towards your parents. We all have them! It's just that you're dependent on them materially and emotionally, so you've had to suppress, hide and rationalize your feelings. What do you think?

It's okay, these feelings won't disappear. They're always there, waiting to be seen, accepted, and responded to. Whether you harm yourself or lash out at others with anger and insults, you're actually releasing and expressing that part of you in an immature and emotional way.

When you find yourself thinking of asking for help when you're feeling at your lowest, it shows that you're ready to make a change. You want to stop this cycle and start living a happier, healthier life. I believe in you! What do you think?

It's okay to feel low sometimes. We all have moments when we feel depressed and want to harm ourselves or commit suicide. When this happens, it's important to recognize the strong sense of unworthiness and low self-worth that accompanies these physical and mental reactions. Take a moment to feel what it's like and ask yourself, has this part also appeared at some point in your growth? What happened at that time?

You've been through a lot, but you still care about your physical and mental health and are still seeking change. That's great! You've taken the first step by choosing to come to this platform for help. Now, guided by your desire to meet a better version of yourself, try to learn to grow yourself and nurture yourself again.

It's so important to learn to treat yourself the way you want to be treated. And it's just as important to be able to express your emotions without getting all emotional yourself!

It can be really helpful to record your depressed and manic emotional state in writing. This can help you to better perceive, understand, feel, sort out your emotions, and explore the needs hidden behind these emotions.

It's also really important for you to feel confident in yourself, and to believe that you're worthy of being treated well by others.

You've described the counselor's feelings of dislike, abandonment, and rejection towards you, but it's possible that they're more a projection of your own feelings of rejection and unacceptability. When you feel that the counselor's emotional state and behavior make you feel uncomfortable, you can try to honestly express your true inner feelings and needs. This is the key to the counselor better understanding you and helping you.

I'd love to know your thoughts on this!

I think you'd really benefit from reading When You Start Loving Yourself, the Whole World Will Love You Back.

The growth and transformation of the self is to learn how to truly love others and adapt to people and things, to correct the energy field, and to avoid or alleviate negative emotions and symptoms.

To truly love others is to wish them happiness and to mentally accept, forgive, and forgive everyone, including the outstanding, the ordinary people, and even the weak. If there are mistakes or shortcomings, they can be corrected. Everyone has the right to happiness, regardless of the relationship, whether it is right or wrong, gain or loss. We all hope that others can be happy and improve. People can bring mutual comfort and joy to each other. It is beneficial to love and accept others and oneself, to tolerate shortcomings and lack of ability, and to be kind at heart. This means being beneficial to others or society, not disliking or rejecting ordinary people, and not being jealous or intolerant of outstanding people.

If you find it challenging to connect with others, it can lead to feelings of negativity and emotional difficulties. To truly love others and adapt to people and situations, it may be helpful to consider ways to align your energy field, increasing the likelihood of forming and maintaining loving and fulfilling relationships and careers. You can also share and exchange what you see, hear, think, feel, or are interested in, including books, movies, music, etc., with others in real life and on the Internet, such as Douban communities.

It may also be helpful to embrace love and contentment in your life, even in the little things.

It is worth noting that negative energy can affect your physical health. Maintaining a comfortable and healthy body can provide a form of full-body massage. The head massage includes the forehead and face, which also have meridians. One may consider massaging the head with deep, firm strokes, and massaging the stomach with a firm massage brush. It is advisable to avoid massaging the stomach on an empty stomach and then taking a walk.

If you have negative emotions, thoughts, or behaviors, you may not feel comfortable physically or mentally. You may often encounter unhappy people and things, interpersonal conflicts, relationship and marriage problems (which could affect your magnetic field), and even problems in your academic or career life. This may be because when you are too self-centered or pursue self-interest, you may accumulate a lot of negative energy. The more self-centered you are, the more your magnetic field may be out of sync with other people's. You may benefit from learning how to truly love others and adapt to people and things, so as to correct your energy field, resolve conflicts, improve your emotions and interpersonal relationships, and better solve the above problems. In addition, if you know how to truly love the people and things in the world, you may not be too attached to love, and you may be able to alleviate negative emotions such as separation anxiety and pain. You may not feel lacking inside, and you may be able to feel happiness. This could help your life become fulfilling and meaningful.

If it is helpful, they can also support those around them to grow and change together.

The ways in which excessive self-centeredness manifests itself can vary from person to person. These manifestations may include psychological motivations such as pursuing self-satisfaction, striving for self or repressing self-deprecation to please others, blindly giving in order to gain, being afraid of losing, or disregarding the gains and losses of self-interest and emotions. Some individuals may exhibit behaviors that could be perceived as narcissistic or inferior, such as paying excessive attention to oneself, generating stress and worry, social phobia, being caught up in one's own emotions and thoughts, attaching too much importance to what others think of oneself, not accepting one's own shortcomings and deficiencies, forcing oneself to be perfect, being obsessive, controlling, possessing others or forcing others to satisfy oneself, otherwise resenting and being discontent, being unable to let go of oneself to forgive and forgive, and brooding.

If you focus solely on yourself, you may experience feelings of anxiety, depression, and fatigue, and you might even find it challenging to adapt to the people and environment at your school or workplace. On the other hand, if you genuinely care about others and adapt to your surroundings, you will naturally feel less self-focused and will be able to replenish your positive energy.

In short, it would be best to do what you can, have good intentions, and do no harm to others, because nobody wants to suffer.