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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello, questioner!
You say you feel great one minute and worthless the next, which means you're always oscillating between inferiority and conceit—and that's a great thing!
I think you're absolutely amazing! You've noticed something's not quite right with yourself and you know exactly how to ask for help. You're ready to solve the problem of "how to have the right sense of self"!
You've identified the issue perfectly!
You're still in school, which means you're probably around 20 years old, right? I bet you're in high school or college!
Most people your age (please allow me to call you that) are in the same situation as you. We have left infancy and childhood behind, which is a truly exciting time! We no longer need to rely on our parents as much to get by, and we are beginning to understand the world and ourselves more and more, and to establish our own social circles. This is precisely when our sense of self gradually begins to take shape, which is a wonderful thing!
The development of self-awareness is not something that can be accomplished in a few years. But here's the good news: it is a lifelong process!
Even Confucius said that at 40, he had no more doubts, at 50, he understood his destiny, and it was only at the age of 70 that he did what he wanted without transgressing. Although he received a lot of praise as a young man, he continued to learn and improve throughout his life. What an inspiring example to us all!
I said, "You are very good! You can ask such a profound question."
There are so many ways to develop a healthy sense of self!
The first step to taking control of your life is getting to know yourself!
Self-awareness is divided into three amazing aspects: physical self, psychological self, and social self. These three aspects help us understand ourselves better!
The more you know, the more you'll understand yourself! Broaden your knowledge and learn about the psychological development of people. Communicate with others more often, and ask your friends, teachers, and family members for their opinions on you. Use appropriate reference points to understand yourself.
Take the time to really experience your own feelings and understand what things make you happy and sad.
2. Accepting oneself
Embrace yourself! It's the core and key to developing a correct sense of self. And it all starts with accepting yourself first, so you can be accepted by others.
Embrace the amazing person you are! Accept yourself unconditionally and treat your wins and losses with calm and reason.
Embrace your uniqueness! When you find that you are different from others, don't judge whether it is good or bad easily, but accept the differences between yourself and others. When you feel proud or inferior because of something, try to look at the bigger picture. In the long run, you'll see that this is just a trivial matter in life, and you cannot draw any conclusions from it.
Correct self-awareness is something you can and should pursue for a lifetime!
I really wish I could!
I'm making progress, one day at a time!
I'm Haru Aoki, and I love you all!
Helpful to me 502
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Comments
I can totally relate to the struggle between confidence and selfdoubt. It's like riding a roller coaster of emotions, where one moment you're on top of the world, and the next, you're questioning everything about yourself. It's hard to stay grounded when your perception of your abilities is so volatile.
Feeling competent and excelling in school only to be brought down by failures can be really tough. I think it's important to recognize that everyone has ups and downs. Maybe it's time to focus on learning from those failures instead of letting them define your worth.
It sounds like you're caught in a cycle of high expectations and harsh selfcriticism. I've been there too. Sometimes we need to step back and realize that our value isn't just tied to our achievements. There's more to who we are than what we accomplish.
I used to blame external factors for my shortcomings as well. But over time, I learned that acknowledging my own areas for growth was the first step to actually improving. It's not easy, but it's necessary if you want to get better.
Realizing you might be inadequate can feel devastating, but it's also a powerful moment of clarity. It's okay to feel shattered; it means you're ready to make changes. The key is to use that realization as a springboard for personal development.