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How can I deal with the situation where my mother is forcing my brother to cause trouble, always unable to let go of her thoughts?

family conflict sibling relationship financial disputes emotional turmoil promissory note
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How can I deal with the situation where my mother is forcing my brother to cause trouble, always unable to let go of her thoughts? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

On a day in August, it was my sister's birthday, and during our conversation, my mother mentioned something bad about my sister-in-law. She wasn't present at the time, and my brother got angry upon hearing it. My sister-in-law is not that bad, and you shouldn't say such things about her. My brother was angry when he spoke, pointing at my mother. Then, the two of them started arguing, and it has carried on until now. My mother now demands that my brother repay all the money he used for living expenses after he turned 18, totaling 400,000 yuan. My brother doesn't have that much money, so he suggested writing a promissory note for only 200,000. The father was also involved in raising my brother, so he didn't ask for the money, and therefore, only half of the amount was written on the note. The promissory note has been written and given to my mother today, but she still wants a note for the full 400,000, feeling that he is not filial and is constantly unhappy. He can't make up his mind and even considers suicide. Sometimes he's happy, and sometimes he's not. He always thinks in extremes and has even said he wants to strangle his grandson and not let them have a good life. My brother's temper was spoiled from a young age, and he has never done housework or cooked. When we were young, our mother often fought with our father, and my brother's temper was not good either. Compared to before, he has calmed down a lot, but it's because my mother is pushing him and causing trouble. Now, the whole family, as well as all the relatives, know about this matter. Sometimes he threatens to split the family property with our father and to cut off all ties with my brother. Currently, his relationship with our father is a bit better, because our father is comforting our mother. My brother is never going to comfort her; he is forced to avoid even looking at her and doesn't want to argue with her!

Devon Devon A total of 2031 people have been helped

Dear Questioner, This is a very complicated and difficult situation involving family relationships, money, and emotional issues. The most important thing you can do is remain calm and rational so that you can make informed decisions and take appropriate actions.

First, the arguments and conflicts between the mother and her brother are likely caused by miscommunication and misunderstandings between the two. The best solution is to help both parties communicate and understand each other's perspectives and needs through third-party mediation.

A professional family counselor or psychologist is the ideal choice. They can provide a neutral perspective and helpful suggestions to help both parties find a solution to the problem.

Secondly, the 400,000 yuan that the mother wants her brother to repay for raising her is a very sensitive and complicated issue. The brother is not legally obliged to repay this money, but from a moral and family relationship perspective, he should consider making some compromises and arrangements to ease family tensions and conflicts.

However, the differences and conflicts between the mother and her brother cannot be resolved through threats, intimidation, or extreme behavior. This will only exacerbate the conflict and tension. Both parties therefore need to remain calm and rational and find a proper solution through communication and negotiation.

Finally, the relationship between the mother and the rest of the family also needs attention and resolution. The mother must be made aware of the negative impact her behavior has on the family and other members, and she must change her attitude and behavior.

Family members must support and understand their mother, help her cope with her emotions and stress, and help her handle family issues.

In short, this is a very complex and difficult situation that requires the joint efforts and collaboration of family members to find a solution. The most important thing is to remain calm and rational and to solve problems through communication and negotiation. Arguments, threats and extreme behavior will only serve to exacerbate the conflict and tension.

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Comments

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Naomi Jackson Industrious people are the builders of the future.

This is a really tough situation, and it's clear that everyone is feeling the strain. I can see how much this has affected you and your family. It's important to find a way to communicate calmly and openly with each other. Maybe we can all sit down together and try to understand where everyone is coming from without pointing fingers or making accusations.

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Zenobia Jackson A well - read and well - studied mind is a fertile ground where different ideas can take root and grow.

It sounds like there's a lot of hurt and misunderstanding here. My heart goes out to you all. Perhaps focusing on what brought us together, like my sister's birthday, could help remind us of the love and support we have for one another. We might consider talking about our feelings in a more constructive way, rather than letting the anger and resentment build up.

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Elizabeth Daisy A well - read and well - versed person can bridge gaps between different groups.

Wow, this is such a heavy issue, and I can see why it's causing so much pain. It might be beneficial for everyone to take a step back and reflect on what truly matters. Family should be about support and love, not financial debts or grudges. Could we think about seeking some outside help, like a mediator or counselor, to assist in resolving these conflicts?

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Manuel Jackson Teachers are the light - bearers who shine the light of knowledge on students' paths.

I feel for you all in this complicated family dynamic. It seems that old patterns and unresolved issues are resurfacing. It's crucial to address these problems before they escalate further. Maybe we can start by acknowledging each person's feelings and concerns, and then work towards finding a solution that respects everyone's needs and boundaries.

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Quincy Jackson Time is a healer, but a poor beautician.

The tension between you all must be overwhelming. It's understandable that emotions are running high, especially with past grievances being brought up. What might help is establishing a dialogue where everyone feels heard and valued. Setting up a meeting with a neutral third party could provide a safer space for honest conversation and pave the way for healing.

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