How can I relieve the stress of living alone, from sleep disorders?

Hello, I'm Jianlin, a counselor at Yixinli.

You let your family go back because you wanted to live independently.

I feel lonely and scared living alone.

This has led to poor sleep and depression at night. Medication has been used to control it. This has been going on for a year.

I want to get out of this shadow.

As we grow older, we want to live independently and have our own space. This is normal.

When we suddenly become independent, we feel empty.

When alone, we feel lonely and afraid. If we can't adapt, we become depressed.

When there are a lot of people around, I don't feel like myself. I'm especially nervous when I'm alone at night.

Your situation isn't serious. With the right approach, it can be improved.

You're clearly lonely and insecure.

When you are alone, your emotions can get the better of you. Make friends and chat with them when you have time. You can use video calls and other methods to chat with friends and family at home. This can distract us and reduce our sense of loneliness.

Join more school clubs and activities. Stay busy with regular exercise.

Exercise helps us sleep. Talking to friends helps us feel less lonely.

When you're alone, you can play music or watch TV to relax.

We often say that the worst thing is not knowing what the problem is. You've seen it and want to change it. Follow my suggestions to make your life better.

Thanks!

Hello, question asker.

From what you've written, it's clear that you want to be independent but also rely on your parents. We all experience this at some point.

When we haven't developed a good sense of anxiety/self-needs-are-met-how-do-you-balance-dependence-and-independence-in-a-relationship-19770.html" target="_blank">independence, we tend to rely on our parents. When we are very independent, we want to leave our parents.

This is just a normal part of growing up.

Let's start with independence.

Independence is something that comes naturally with age. It's human nature.

You're right to want to be independent, but the thing is, you don't feel comfortable on your own. This feeling of being alone is very strong, making you feel uncomfortable, and you blame yourself for not being independent.

You want to be independent through your own efforts and not rely on your family.

If you had to describe your personality in three words, which three words would you choose?

Your current symptoms are related to your personality.

Your current symptoms are related to your personality.

The issue is that when you're alone, a lot of emotions can come up, and they can be pretty intense. These emotions can make you feel uneasy. How these emotions are generated is related to your thoughts, your expectations of yourself, and your evaluation of the outside world.

During the day, when you're on your own and just getting things done, your brain is in charge of planning your life. Your emotions aren't as intense, and you're generally feeling good.

When you're feeling anxious at night, with a headache and insomnia, these physical reactions are a way of expressing inner emotions. It's hard to feel your thoughts and worries, so your body is the outlet.

It's like being in a forest and seeing a tiger. Tigers attack and eat people. When you see this tiger, you're so scared that you don't know how to express it in words, and your body reacts with paralysis.

At this point, a significant fear can arise within you, directly affecting your body and preventing you from thinking and expressing this fear in words.

You can tell yourself, "It's normal to be scared when you're alone. I'll get over it with some more practice."

I'm feeling insecure right now, which is making me feel afraid. I think we can all relate to that feeling of insecurity when we're alone. Having a partner would definitely help with that.

These words can help you feel better when you're feeling afraid at night. Just talk to yourself in your mind.

To really achieve your goal of independence, you still need to look at the conflicts and thoughts in your mind. Our thoughts affect our actions and our emotional responses.

You're taking medication to treat bipolar disorder. One of the personality traits associated with bipolar disorder is a sense of being unable to fail or to do nothing, which can lead to feelings of weakness and helplessness.

I think this personality trait of bipolar disorder is related to how you're adjusting to the new environment.

I think you'll benefit from regular counseling to explore your inner self, get to know yourself better, and clarify some of your thoughts and feelings. I believe you will become a truly mentally strong person.

Greetings,

I comprehend your emotional state. Based on your description, you "study," you typically reside with "family members," yet you aspire to "be independent." You are in the process of learning to be independent, gradually distancing yourself from your previous reliance on your family. This is a positive development. I commend the question asker for recognizing this, as this is the initial step towards change. However, the question asker has not yet adapted to it, which may result in initial feelings of nervousness, fear, and anxiety.

It is my hope that the aforementioned suggestions will prove to be a source of inspiration for you.

1. It is important to recognize that the process of independence requires time and that feelings of anxiety and fear are to be expected.

The process of achieving independence is a gradual one, and it is not feasible to expect individuals to suddenly become capable of making all decisions independently, forming clear opinions, and accomplishing numerous tasks. It is therefore to be expected that the questioner will encounter these situations at the beginning of the process, and that most people will have undergone a similar experience.

With this understanding, when this feeling of tension arises, the questioner can attempt to convince themselves that this is normal, merely a phase in the process of independence, that they are capable of doing it themselves, and that the anxiety will eventually dissipate. They may also choose to contact their parents for comfort. However, a particularly strong urge to completely separate from their parents may have the opposite effect.

2. Formulate additional supportive relationships.

In addition to family members, other sources of psychological support can be sought. It would be beneficial to ascertain whether the questioner has classmates and friends with whom they have a positive relationship.

One may attempt to contact them via telephone or other forms of communication, which may provide a degree of comfort. Additionally, there are various mutual aid groups and professional listeners available on this platform for those who may require assistance.

3. It is recommended that the individual engage in activities that serve to distract them from their immediate concerns and facilitate personal growth.

"Even though you are already familiar with the environment, you still feel scared." This is because we are more psychologically dependent on our parents. Although we are familiar with the environment, we feel scared because we lack a sense of security when we are separated from them. To achieve independence, one may also need to enhance their inner strength, encourage themselves, and gradually overcome this fear through their own strength. One may consider keeping a diary, making friends, engaging in activities that interest them, and distracting themselves. It is likely that one can find a way that suits them and gradually overcome these emotions.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the original poster will achieve a state of independence at the earliest possible juncture and that they will enjoy a fruitful future.

Hello, my dear friend!

It's totally normal to feel this way! You're going through a big change, from feeling independent to feeling scared. This is something we all go through at some point. It's like we're learning to navigate the world and facing our fears. Our emotions will probably feel a bit all over the place at first, like an electrocardiogram. Based on what you've told me, there are probably three reasons, which I'll talk about below.

First, I was physically independent but socially maladjusted. When I was with my family, they took care of my daily needs, so I didn't have to worry about that, which was really nice!

You've also been focusing on your studies, and as long as you complete your studies, you can ignore everything else. This has led to your weak social adaptability. When you encounter problems, you don't know how to deal with them. It's totally normal to feel this way! Your inner defenses begin to collapse, your self-confidence is challenged, and coupled with the loneliness of having no one around, the multiple pressures can lead to insomnia and stress. This is the first situation.

The second thing is the excessive freedom after independence. Let me give you an example. It's like someone who grew up poor suddenly receiving a large sum of money. They're overwhelmed and unable to control it. Eventually, the money will be squandered and their hearts will become even more empty.

It's so interesting how having money can sometimes make things more challenging. For you, sudden independence means freedom. In the future, you'll have to do many things yourself and make your own choices. This kind of excessive freedom has made you a little overwhelmed, which is totally understandable!

It's totally normal! I remember a term in psychology called "separation anxiety," which is what kids feel when they first go to kindergarten and are separated from their parents. It's okay to feel a little anxious at first, but with time, you'll slowly adapt and this anxiety will disappear.

From what you've told me, it seems like things are even more serious and have affected your life. You've even taken medication for bipolar disorder. If things keep going this way, it might be a good idea to see a psychologist.

I can really relate to your situation! When I went to junior high school in the county, it was my first time leaving home and being separated from my parents. I remember feeling so lonely and helpless at first. I don't know how I adapted later, but I just kept going. Now, I'm a psychological counselor myself, and I'm here to help! When I encounter difficulties, I will seek help and find solutions that suit me, so that I can feel more comfortable.

In life, many relationships end in separation. It's a natural part of life that we all have to go through. I hope that we can all find ways to make this process easier on ourselves and learn to love ourselves and life with a fuller heart.

I love you, world! And I love you too, my dear friend!