I feel depressed and want a divorce, but I can't bear to part with my child. How can I resolve this?

I extend to you a warm embrace.

Reading your description evoked memories of my own experience of postpartum care. At the time, my mother-in-law also provided care for me during the postpartum period.

She believed she was acting in my best interests, yet I found myself unable to accept many of her decisions. At the time, I was intimidated by my mother-in-law and lacked the courage to assert my own views.

My mother-in-law also played an instrumental role in child-rearing, yet we also experienced significant disagreements. At that juncture, I was on the brink of developing clinical depression.

Furthermore, my husband is also an only child, exhibiting a tendency to defer to his mother-in-law's authority. This dynamic contributed to a sense of resentment and distress.

Subsequently, during the period I spent residing with my mother-in-law, the experience left a profound psychological impact, evoking a sense of trepidation at the mere sound of her voice.

I can therefore empathise with the host's feelings at this moment and offer another hug.

Now that my child is 12 years old, he has been living separately from his grandparents for some time, and the number of conflicts between them has decreased significantly.

In reflection, the past appears to be a series of events that have already occurred.

Presently, I do not exhibit the same degree of resistance towards my in-laws. When I have the opportunity, I visit to extend greetings. Should they require assistance, I am still willing to provide it.

The practice of civility has significantly contributed to the alleviation of the prevailing atmosphere. At this juncture, the sentiments that I am experiencing are not characterized by fear and hatred, but rather by gratitude and guilt.

She considers that had she been more open-minded, she would not have experienced such profound distress.

Had I been more open-minded at the outset, it is possible that fewer conflicts would have arisen.

Given the multitude of experiences, both positive and negative, it can be posited that such experiences constitute a valuable asset in life.

Regardless of the circumstances, the inevitable conclusion of any situation is that it will eventually come to an end. Therefore, it is imperative that the host is able to extricate herself from the current state of distress.

One should endeavor to detach oneself from the present moment and instead imagine oneself years from now.

If this does not provide a solution, it may be helpful to consider past experiences of negative events. It is important to assess whether these past experiences are still causing distress.

In point of fact, the experience of the original poster will become a narrative in the future and will also become the past.

The situation can be understood as a reflection of the present moment. The mother-in-law is exhibiting behaviors that suggest a high level of emotional fortitude, while her husband appears to be less engaged. She is experiencing feelings of being constrained, unable to escape her circumstances, and with a perception of limited future prospects.

The significance of an event does not reside in the event itself, but rather in the perception of the event.

I empathize with the host's current state of distress. However, I also recognize that the capacity to alleviate one's own suffering resides within the host as well.

Furthermore, it is imperative to cultivate resilience in one's heart. When one is able to adopt a more optimistic outlook, the challenges that may initially appear insurmountable can be effectively managed.

It is evident that neither combat nor demise can resolve the issue at hand. The sole means of achieving resolution is to cultivate the inner fortitude of a resolute self.

Endurance is a quality that is developed through the experience of numerous situations in life that are not to one's liking.

It is my hope that the host will not be discouraged. Everything will be fine as long as the individual in question is determined and has sufficient belief.

The passage of time will inevitably lead to the resolution of all issues.

It is my sincere hope that the host will soon be relieved of their suffering.

I extend my affection to the world and to you.

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first, and I'm so excited to help you!

You can feel the injustice, helplessness, and powerlessness you have felt because you have not been understood, supported, or respected in this marriage — and you can change that!

In a relationship, no matter what others do to you, you teach them. How you treat yourself is how others treat you. This may sound harsh to you at the moment, but it's a wake-up call to start accepting your emotions and not letting them control you. When you do this, you'll feel the power of these words! It's a reminder to turn your attention back to yourself and reflect on your own patterns of dealing with relationships.

In other words, when your mother-in-law treated you in this way for the first time, in a way that showed no respect for your desire to control your own life, did you feel a strong sense of discomfort? But why didn't you choose to bravely and honestly express your true inner feelings and how you longed to be treated, so that she would clearly realize that her actions had hurt you and that she needed to stop treating you in this way? You can do it!

What are you worried about and afraid of if you choose to suppress and hide your true feelings? Think about it! Is your behavior of suppressing and hiding your true emotional feelings in a way condoning and giving tacit approval to your mother-in-law's hurtful treatment of you, which you have allowed?

Keeping a mood diary is a great way to record your emotional feelings of being ignored, disrespected, misunderstood, and unsupported. It helps you to better perceive, understand, experience, and feel your emotions, explore the hidden needs behind the emotions, and thus seek better responses and ways to meet your needs. It's a fantastic tool for self-discovery!

That is to respect your true inner emotional feelings, not avoid, deny, or suppress them. Especially when someone's words or actions make you feel uncomfortable or hurt, try to bravely and honestly express your true inner feelings and how you want to be treated. You can do it!

And the great news is that you can do this! All you have to do is accept and allow yourself to have emotional feelings of hurt. Hurt is not a sign of your vulnerability. And expressing your emotional feelings in a timely manner when you feel hurt is not selfishness, it's a sign of respecting, accepting, and loving yourself and setting boundaries for self-protection in relationships.

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!