I want to save myself, have I done wrong? Should I seek professional treatment?

Hello!

I saw your question and felt your pain. I also saw your strength and courage.

My twelve-year-old self told my dad about my mom's affair.

If I hadn't called, none of this would've happened.

I can see the deep self-blame and heartache in this. I am also a mother of a teenage child, and I can feel that you were innocent at the time.

You still can't forgive your twelve-year-old self. As a mother, I would say, "That was a child," and not blame him.

The adult world is made up of problems. A twelve-year-old child shouldn't have to deal with these problems.

#

I have also had seizures that made me pass out. Even now, when I face strong past memories, I still have seizures that make my limbs go numb.

I can see you were hurt and shocked. As a child, you saw a violent scene and needed care.

You feel uneasy and self-blame from time to time. This trauma is difficult for you to get over now. Find a professional counselor to help you.

There's a book called "The Body Never Forgets: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma." It proves yoga helps with trauma. I think it'll help you.

#

Going to college meant leaving home. I wanted to escape and start over.

It's good to leave places that remind you of the past and give yourself time to heal. I see your strength and bravery. How did you get this far in such a difficult situation?

These are your special methods and strengths, and it's not easy. Talk to a counselor and you'll see your strength!

Bless you!

Thank you!

Dear Question Asker, Thank you for your question. Best regards, [Name] [Title]

After reviewing your inquiry, I was compelled to respond. I can assure you with certainty that you were not at fault from beginning to end.

You are an innocent victim. I can sense that you have been experiencing prolonged feelings of self-blame and guilt. Despite the incident occurring ten years ago, you have repeatedly accused and hated yourself due to making that distress call.

If I may enquire, you are in your twenties, correct? If you were to reflect on that younger version of yourself, what image would come to mind?

What is your internal dialogue? As you have previously described in your text, when you came home from school and saw someone collapsed in the corner, you also had a seizure and almost suffocated.

Clearly, the previous version of yourself would have been terrified in that situation. The sudden appearance of domestic violence, suicide, and a person lying in a corner would have been overwhelming. It would have been difficult to know what to do in that moment.

If there had been another individual in the vicinity, they would have proceeded to assist the child, providing comfort and support.

As previously stated, the physiological effects of fear include convulsions, suffocation, and limb numbness. These are the residual effects of the traumatic experience.

The instinctive reaction of animals when they encounter danger is to freeze, become rigid, and flee. Humans are no different; these are all instinctive responses.

In this regard, we recommend consulting a professional psychiatrist, who can then refer you to a local psychological institution for regular counseling. Addressing the underlying emotional issues will greatly improve your symptoms.

There is a saying in a book that self-criticism is the most severe form of criticism. We often condemn and punish ourselves severely, which can have a lifelong impact. What are your thoughts on this?

Please indicate whether this accurately reflects your current state of mind.

It is evident that you are being excessively critical of yourself. You consistently perceive yourself as the perpetrator of wrongdoing, which has resulted in a prolonged period of self-inflicted punishment spanning ten years. It is crucial to reflect on the following points:

1. Are you engaged in an extramarital relationship? As the adage goes, "Paper cannot contain the flames of fire." An extramarital relationship will be uncovered at some point, unless it never occurred.

2. A young child may feel neglected. It is important to recognize that this is her original intention and that she needs to be taken care of.

It is not uncommon for adults to discuss challenging topics with others, particularly in the presence of children.

3. Domestic violence and suicide are unacceptable methods for adults to resolve issues, particularly in the presence of children. These actions reflect poorly on the parent and detract from their ability to effectively raise their children.

It would be preferable to avoid becoming involved in conflict.

4. If you wish to relocate after graduation, this may be an optimal solution. Avoidance of irritants is also an effective method of self-care.

This is indeed the case.

It is important to understand that the past cannot be changed. What can be changed is the impact it has on us in the present.

Your newfound self-awareness is a positive step forward. It demonstrates your desire to make positive changes rather than allowing past experiences to hold you back.

In addition to seeking professional psychological assistance, we can also read books on spiritual growth, such as "The Power of Self-Care" and "Embracing Your Inner Child." These books include many practical exercises that can help us become stronger internally and gradually heal old wounds.

I hope this message provides some measure of comfort. Best regards,

Good morning,

I would like to extend my sincerest apologies to you. I want you to know that none of this is your fault. You were only 12 years old at the time, and you were still a child.

The issue between your parents and the deterioration of their relationship is not a result of your actions, but rather a consequence of underlying issues that existed prior to this. Your father has been unwilling to address these issues and has instead directed his frustration and anger towards you.

This is not your responsibility. It is a matter for your parents to address. Please accept my apologies. You have done nothing wrong.

It is important to respect your feelings and acknowledge the facts of what happened in the past.

[If I had never made that phone call, none of this would have happened, and the source of all this would have been me]. It is often assumed that people can control everything, but this is not always the case.

When you made that phone call, you were simply seeking a response from your mother. As a child, you were not at fault.

It is evident that your parents' relationship had already reached a critical point. Even if they did not immediately recognize the deterioration in your mother's behavior, it is likely that they would have done so in the near future. It is important to understand that the circumstances surrounding your mother's actions are beyond your control.

Furthermore, your father is the kind of person who feels that your mother is unworthy, refuses to acknowledge his own shortcomings, and believes that this woman has betrayed him. You are the child born of your mother, this woman who betrayed him, unable to mature, and then took out his anger on you, the young child.

It is important to understand that the past cannot be changed. Your parents had issues, and you are not at fault.

As a result of these circumstances, you have been adversely affected and have become a victim of the failure of their marriage.

It is recommended that you physically distance yourself from your family in order to facilitate your personal growth and development.

I am compelled to pursue my university studies in a different location due to my desire to distance myself from my current circumstances and embark on a fresh start. I believe that this approach will enable me to move on from past experiences and begin anew. Have I made a misstep? Have I failed to fully let go? I acknowledge your perspective and offer my support.

An individual's ability to grow and survive is contingent upon their possession of an independent space. This independent space encompasses a room of one's own, as well as a new scope of life with freedom of choice.

Additionally, there is a spiritual aspect to your life. In this space, you are loved and do not have to concern yourself with the issues that may have arisen in your personal life, such as concerns about your parents or your own perceived shortcomings.

You are in a secure position. You have the option to live for yourself, which is not selfish but rather a responsible decision.

Dear Sir/Madam, Please find below details of the self-help guide. Kind regards,

Dear Sir/Madam, You have presented with the following symptoms. In order to gradually overcome your fear of the past, you require professional assistance, long-term support, and guidance.

Given that you are currently enrolled in middle school, the school does not have a qualified psychological counselor who can maintain professional confidentiality. Additionally, there is a lack of sufficient financial support to seek professional help.

However, there is no cause for concern. There are plenty of resources and support available to help you navigate this period safely.

By reading and exercising, you can develop a stable sense of self. Additionally, you can enhance your inner strength by reading more psychology books.

"It's Not Your Fault" is a comprehensive guide to self-healing and growth after childhood abuse, a lot of unfair treatment, and a lot of harm and trauma.

Additionally, the complete series of books by Wu Zhihong, including "Why Family Hurts," "Why Love Hurts," and "Why Are You Always Hurting?," are available for review. These books are based on actual case studies from psychological counseling sessions and provide insights on how individuals can develop and grow after experiencing trauma.

Books on self-understanding, interpersonal relationships, and transcending one's family of origin.

Additionally, public accounts such as those of Wu Zhihong and Zhang Defen disseminate popular science psychology knowledge, employing hot events to elucidate phenomena and motivate personal growth. The objective is to become a worthy recipient of love and to learn to love others.

One notable example is Xu Manman's Heartfelt Words, a comic book account that offers a psychological interpretation of everyday events. The characters are designed to be relatable and accessible.

Finally, in the future, you can visit this site to ask questions about any problems you encounter. Our team will be happy to assist you with support and advice. We recommend that you study hard and go to college, where there are professional psychological counseling rooms.

Additionally, these services are provided at no cost. All personnel are highly qualified and adhere to the highest standards of professional conduct.

Please be advised that long-term, free psychological counseling is available at the school.

I hope my response is of some assistance to you. Best regards,

Hello! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first!

I can feel your intense self-blame and guilt, and I'm here to help!

From your description, it's clear that you're ready to take responsibility for the intense conflicts and contradictions in your family after that phone call. You made the best decision you could at the time! Although it might not have been the most appropriate thing to tell Dad about your mom's affair, your intention was to bring more happiness and harmony to your family. You were afraid that your parents' marriage might break up, and you wanted to protect your family from that.

So, accept your own choices and decisions in the moment. Then, get excited about the fact that you didn't cause your parents to use violence to resolve their marital conflicts! They could have used other ways and methods to better handle and resolve marital conflicts. In other words, they had a choice in how to deal with marital conflicts and conflicts.

You can take control and respond to the physical and mental harm, especially the emotional harm, caused to you by their violent ways of resolving and dealing with the emotional conflicts in their marriage. You can release it through appropriate ways and methods.

For example, you can keep an emotional diary to better record your emotions, so that your painful emotional feelings can be seen, expressed, and released. You can also talk to a close friend about it, which is a great way to get things off your chest!

Absolutely! You can also use psychology to help you heal your family trauma. For example, you can read psychology books to learn more about how your mind works.

I highly recommend you read "We Have All Been Hurt, But We Have a Better Life" and "Embrace the Child in Fear Within"!

I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum! The world and I love you!

Hello, I'm Flower.

The questioner blames himself for his mistakes.

The 12-year-old was just expressing her own feelings, and that's okay.

The question asker went to university, which he thought was safe.

The questioner wants to save herself. That's okay.

I have some thoughts to share with the questioner.

The source of all this is never your phone call. The questioner needs to believe that they are not responsible for it. Hug the 12-year-old you from the past!

Give back your responsibilities to the right people!

Try to accept the situation. Both "let go" and "not let go" are acceptable. The past scar is there, and it's okay if you can't let it go. Then let it exist, accept it, and accept that you're not letting go.

You don't have to let go.

The questioner can release past hurts through professional counseling. This will help them feel better when they encounter similar situations in the future.

I hope this helps. Good luck!