My father is 53 years old and is a male chauvinist. How do I view his psychological state?

Hello! I'm thrilled that you've given me the chance to help me grow, and I really hope my answer can help you in some way.

From what you said, it seems like you had to deal with a lot of helplessness when you were younger. I'm curious, did you ever feel like you wanted to escape from that situation?

I applaud the man who boldly asks questions and seeks answers. He is the epitome of strength!

Fatherhood

1. Manifestations and Handling of Male Chauvinism

From your description, it's clear you've captured a crucial aspect of your father's personality: male chauvinism.

Let's dive into the world of male chauvinism!

Manifestation 1: This is what I think women should be like! For example, women should do the laundry and cooking, give birth at home, and not go out to work.

Manifestation 2: He's not a big fan of communication, but he's quick on his feet and often makes decisions on his own.

Manifestation 3: He's eager to share his opinions with others, and he's great at making a case for them. He's confident in his beliefs and isn't afraid to stand his ground.

Behavior 4: They care about their reputation and have a strong sense of self-esteem, which is great!

Many people don't like male chauvinism because they see it as selfish, narrow-minded, self-righteous, and a preference for demanding things from others. It shows no respect for women, and even looks down on women who are more capable than him from the bottom of his heart, as if women are born to grovel to men. But there's another way! We can help him see that women are just as capable as men and deserve to be treated with respect.

The formation of a male chauvinist character is due to family education, as well as the influence of traditional values that men are superior to women. But don't fret! There's still plenty we can do to make a positive change. A gradual approach will have a better effect.

1. It's time to let him understand that he is a male chauvinist, as well as the manifestations and harms of male chauvinism. Just like an illness, if you want a complete cure, you need to find the corresponding disease and then prescribe the right medicine.

Next, the questioner can find some videos about the harm of male chauvinism to the family and show them to your father to help him make appropriate inferences and imagine the harm caused by male chauvinism. After all, once he knows the pain, he'll be eager to seek treatment and make changes!

2. Learn to empathize and understand. The mother is reluctant to explain her work too much, so the questioner can talk more with the father about the original intention and reasons for her work. Perhaps it is to make herself more fulfilled and less boring—and it's a great idea!

It could be that she wants to help her father share some of the pressure and work together to improve the situation at home. Or perhaps she's saving up for her partner and herself for their old age and retirement before they become too old to work!

It could even be to prepare an emergency fund in case of emergencies! The questioner can explain the significance of his mother working from her perspective, so that his father can understand it in a more positive and proactive way and gradually learn to empathize.

3. Learn to appreciate and recognize. Everyone likes a comfortable and enjoyable life, but work is hard after all, and it can even be frustrating. The questioner can "help" his mother vent her grievances in front of his father.

Next, you can cite examples of women around you and famous women, especially those who work outside the home, to help your father broaden his horizons and mindset. Let him understand that times have changed and that women have the right to independence and freedom at work. By exposing your father to these ideas and getting him to think about them, you can gradually change his own views. With time, he will learn to appreciate and recognize your mother's actions.

2. Let's dive into how you can deal with an inferiority complex!

Guess what? Another expression of male chauvinism is an inferiority complex!

The original poster mentioned that her mother "often disapproved of her father's behavior in life, and she would say so."

In a marriage, your partner is your closest ally. They'll help you identify shortcomings and problems that you might not have noticed before. And their trust and support will give you the boost you need to feel great about yourself!

Second, you'll gain a stronger sense of awareness. If your partner constantly reminds you of your shortcomings, you'll have the opportunity to become the best version of yourself!

If you focus on the other person's shortcomings and dwell on them, you'll start to see yourself in a less than flattering light.

Ready to conquer your inferiority complex? Let's do this!

1. Evaluate objectively and sort yourself out! Take a piece of paper and write down your strengths and weaknesses. Be as objective and rational as possible, and avoid using judgmental language. When writing down your weaknesses, you can also write down some aspects related to that weakness that can be improved. For example: "I earn less money, but I am down-to-earth, don't gamble or visit brothels, and rarely drink.

Once you've finished writing, take a look at your strengths and weaknesses. You'll be amazed at how many strengths you have and how many weaknesses you can improve! You'll also feel more objectively that you're not as bad as you think.

Questioner, you can definitely choose a quiet and comfortable environment to help your father sort out his strengths and weaknesses and help him to know himself more clearly!

2. Self-identification and encouragement: It's time to start consciously encouraging yourself over the long term! Every time you complete a task, receive praise, or cook a good meal, give yourself a big pat on the back. Over time, this will boost your self-confidence and help you overcome any obstacles holding you back.

In life, the questioner can learn to discover and praise the good points of their father. And the best part is, the way people get along with each other starts with discovering the good points of others!

Everyone loves to hear praise! Positive comments can gradually guide your father towards a better side. For example, the questioner can go with his father to repair appliances in some remote villages and praise his father's repair skills.

3. Exercise to boost self-confidence: Low self-esteem can make you procrastinate and feel tired all the time. You might not feel enthusiastic about anything, and life and work can start to feel boring. But there's a way to turn this around! You can boost your excitement by making a decision to go out and move. This will help you feel more confident because you'll be taking control of your life with self-discipline and positive behavior.

And there's more! Exercise can also promote the secretion of dopamine in the brain, which can make people feel happy. The development of long-term exercise habits can even better promote the brain to look at things positively and optimistically!

The questioner can create a small opportunity to help her father engage in some sporty activities, such as walking or hiking. It's a great way to relieve stress and make life more fulfilling!

Mother's article

The questioner mentioned that her mother is 52 years old and often works as a waitress for the owner of the country dam banquet. She also helps the boss who collects fruit to box it! My mother used to be a grumpy person with a loud voice, but she's really come a long way.

My mother often worked outside the home, which was a great way for her to avoid the family.

She thrived in the outside world and preferred to work outside the home.

A hot-tempered person and a male chauvinist are like "thunder" and "earth fire," and are prone to arguments and fights—so full of energy and passion!

The questioner mentioned that when they argue and fight with their father, they are usually the one who gets beaten up. They often can't stand their father's behavior in life, and they have to say so!

A mother who "can't stand her father's behavior and has to say so" is more likely to trigger her partner's low self-esteem and family conflicts. A male chauvinist has a relatively strong self-esteem. When you disagree with him, if he listens to your opinion, he will feel humiliated.

As a woman, it takes a strong heart to be with a man who is very masculine. It is a great idea for the questioner's mother to listen to her partner's opinions from time to time. If it is not completely unreasonable, she can selectively accept them and do the rest her way. After all, he is our lover, and we have to be considerate of him.

And when you really can't accept your partner's ideas, you have the opportunity to find a solution that is more reasonable than his! Don't just keep complaining about him. When he feels that your solution is more feasible, he won't say anything.

There's an easy way to solve male chauvinism: use feminine qualities to overcome masculinity! Learn to overcome masculinity with gentleness. If your partner has a very strong attitude, then flirt with him and use tenderness to defuse the situation. Give in at the right time and flirt again—it'll have your partner's temper and attitude melting away!

3. To parents

Marriage is all about mutual tolerance and joint maintenance. It's in relationships that we can truly become the best versions of ourselves! It's so important to understand that we can only change ourselves, and that we can't change others, even in a stable relationship.

Everyone has self-awareness, and whether or not they are willing to change comes from that inner self. And the great thing is, we can all change because we want to!

Effective communication is the key to solving problems! As parents, we have the amazing opportunity to cultivate ourselves and then cultivate our children.

Children can absolutely have the ability to love and a sound personality! It all depends on their parents. As parents, we get to do our best and play our roles well, setting an example for our children to follow and become better, more mature people.

4. To the original poster

Questioner, It can be tough to step outside your comfort zone and help your parents resolve family conflicts. But you can do it! Identifying problems and learning to solve them is a great learning experience. Someone once said, "The lucky are cured by their childhoods, the unfortunate cure their childhoods."

Absolutely! The parenting style, personality traits, and approach to marriage can be infectious. If you want to be happy in your future marriage and become someone different from your parents, then you need to learn to take the first step and help your parents resolve this marital situation and improve the family atmosphere.

And the best part is, self-healing can heal others!

Dear Questioner, From your description, it is evident that the relationship between your parents has caused you distress and has also resulted in long-term discord within the family. Could you please elaborate on the father's state of mind and why he is so polite to others but so rude to those closest to him? Best regards, [Your Name]

There is a concept known as the "kick the cat effect." From a literal standpoint, this implies that we tend to vent our emotions on those with whom we are more familiar, such as our relatives. This allows us to avoid any potential consequences. However, if we vent our emotions or express dissatisfaction to individuals in positions of authority, such as friends, bosses, or colleagues, we may face a stronger backlash or even physical consequences.

The second issue is the "concept" mentioned by the questioner. The father is a male chauvinist, but he doesn't earn much money. This is an example of the traditional societal concept that women should serve men at home. The mother often goes out to do odd jobs, which the father may resent. People are narcissistic and will never deny their own firm beliefs. This means that the father may also use verbal and physical violence to prove that he is right and your mother is wrong.

It would be helpful to ascertain whether the third father displays psychopathic tendencies, and if so, whether this is limited to his relationship with his mother. From the information provided, it appears that the father has not achieved a great deal in life. He is described as being "very hospitable, polite to outsiders, and treats his daughter normally." This suggests that the father is keen to present a positive image to those around him, particularly his daughter. However, when faced with his mother, these positive traits can manifest as aggressive language and even physical violence. This is likely because the father's subconscious mind is aware that his mother's rebellion poses no threat to him and may even serve as a way for the father to assert his status within the family.

I am unsure if my analysis will be of any assistance to the original poster.

It is my view that the most significant relationship in a family unit is that between a husband and wife. This is because parents have their own lives, friends have their own families, and relatives have their own circles. Only a husband and wife are together from the time they are married until death. This unhealthy relationship is not caused by one party, but by the common character traits of both parties.

It is acceptable for a mother to live her life according to her own preferences, without being constrained by traditional norms. If the couple is not experiencing a high level of happiness and fulfilment when living together, then living separately with a certain degree of distance between them and pursuing their individual paths may not be a disadvantageous option.

The traditional view is that a harmonious and united family is a happy one. However, only you can determine whether you are happy, whether you are doing well, and whether your family is happy.

Best regards,

It's so sad when parents don't get along. It's even sadder when they've been getting along like this for many years. But despite the fact that neither of them is satisfied with the relationship, no one has left the marriage.

Let's start with Mom. Why does she put up with her husband's abuse? She works hard for the family, but her efforts aren't appreciated. She knows that if she speaks up about her husband's bad behavior, she'll be attacked, but she still chooses to speak up, probably with a loud, angry voice, which increases the likelihood of violence.

Maybe Mom wanted to leave, but the truth is that she stayed in the marriage with Dad. She would easily provoke this man again and again.

This shows us that the mother's own subconscious patterns are being repeated in this relationship, which is really interesting!

If you look at Dad, he's a bit of a male chauvinist who likes to make friends. He's a man who needs to save face and needs to be in control. He wants his wife to be at his center, taking care of him like a servant taking care of the emperor.

Mom's character just happens to fit with Dad's pattern. Mom's grumpy, loud voice will accuse Dad of bad behavior, which gives Dad even more reason to attack Mom. It's a vicious cycle!

My mom is such a strong woman. She suffered from her father's treatment, but she never really left. My dad was a bit of a wild card, but he loved my mom and she loved him. It was as if she could just let him vent like that.

For this time, when Mom left home to go to her sister's, Dad felt a little upset. He played the rogue, as if he were saying to his wife, "How can you do this? You're doing it wrong. You should be like before, accepting my attacks while staying by my side."

We say that this is just how they interact.

One is a bit of a narcissist who wants to be in control like an emperor, and the other is unconsciously seeking abuse. As long as neither one goes too far and no one can't stand it anymore, they maintain this balance and continue their cycle like this.

Hello! I'm Gu Yi. I'm a pretty modest and unassuming person, and I like to think I'm always the same.

It would be really helpful for you to explore the underlying issues behind your father's behavior.

From what you've told me, it seems that your parents don't get along very well. I can understand why you're sad that your mom can't understand your dad's behavior. It must be hard for you to see your parents like this.

It's so interesting how everyone's behavior is shaped by their own ideas and actions! Looking at their age, it seems like parents are the standard post-70s generation. Back then, the social environment gave people a pretty stereotypical view of the family. There were still a lot of ideas about male superiority and female inferiority, like the idea that men should work outside the home and women should take care of the home. You can see this shadow everywhere in their generation!

The thing is, as time goes by, people's ideas and ways of thinking change all the time. Some people change more quickly than others, and some don't change at all! So, looking at the way our father treats our mother through the lens of today's concept of marriage, it can be hard for us to accept. This is a conflict in the family, and it's also a conflict in ideas.

I just wanted to share a little bit of advice with you.

If it's hard to change, try lubricating it with a little love. I've seen many examples of this around me. In my hometown, it's pretty rare to find a man who can cook, and they even think that it's unacceptable for a man to cook. The older generation in particular finds it hard to accept changes outside their own way of thinking.

We can't change their views, but we can guide them step by step.

It's totally normal for kids to be closer to their mums. So, if you see your mum not being respected by your dad, it can be really tough. It's natural to feel confused and unsure of how to handle it. If you can, I'd love it if you could tell your dad more stories and try to connect with him. It might help him to understand what true male chauvinism is.

The father's behavior after his wife left the family already showed what was in his heart, but he was ashamed to admit it to himself. The image and beliefs he maintained for many years made him unaware of many things. If possible, you can help your father understand, so that there will be a better outcome.

Isn't it fascinating how love is expressed differently in each generation? By respecting and understanding each other, we can make it even better! As long as the family works together, there will always be smiling faces. Wishing you all the best!

As children, we are concerned about the dynamics between our parents and are curious about our father's emotional state. We hope to contribute to the resolution of current family conflicts and to receive support in this process.

In light of the father's reported behavior, which includes rudeness, violence, and disrespect towards the mother, we hope that the following information will provide a deeper understanding of this phenomenon.

In light of the unfortunate instances of rudeness, violence, and disrespect exhibited by a father towards a mother, we hope to provide some insight into this phenomenon through the following sharing.

1. Spousal relations are a type of family relation that influences and predicts the direction of family relations.

In family relationships, there are numerous sub-relationships, including those between husbands and wives, fathers and sons, and mothers and children. Among these sub-relationships, the father-child relationship serves as the foundation for family dynamics, akin to the trunk of a tree. The strength and stability of this foundation determine the overall growth and resilience of the family unit.

The message indicates that, despite the father's kindness and the children's obedience, the couple's relationship is frequently tumultuous, characterized by frequent quarrels and fights. This dynamic is akin to a falling nest, where no egg can remain intact. It is likely that the children will also be affected by the numerous fluctuations in the relationship.

It is therefore understandable that as children, they want to become involved and address this issue. However, the relationship between the two parents actually becomes unbalanced during the process of the children's involvement, and a triangular situation is formed.

It is therefore crucial to avoid rushing in and instead gain a thorough understanding of the process by which this form of couple relationship occurs and develops. Furthermore, it is essential to grasp the role that couple relationships play within the wider context of family relationships.

Secondly, relationships are the result of interactions between two parties. In order to achieve a balance in a relationship, it is necessary to modify the way in which the interaction is conducted.

Both parents are in their 50s, and the two individuals have also experienced numerous years of fluctuations. Despite the challenges they have faced, they have maintained their relationship and continued to engage in discussions and disagreements. This resilience is a testament to the strength and vitality of their relationship.

Your assumption that Dad's perversions are only directed at Mom and that he is polite and hospitable to outsiders suggests that only Mom can provide him with the sense of security he needs to "act recklessly."

If communication with the father is challenging or if he has begun to refuse communication, it is advisable to ascertain his emotional history from the mother. How did she feel and experience the years of conflict?

If your mother is avoiding the situation or expressing negative sentiments, demonstrate understanding and provide emotional support when she complains. When circumstances stabilize, assist her in identifying the value and meaning she derives from remaining in the relationship and marriage, despite her reservations.

Similarly, with regard to the father, you can leverage his wife's actions against him. In these conflicting relationships, capitalize on every opportunity when the father is angry and unable to find your mother at home, acting inappropriately and making disparaging remarks. Speak on his behalf and assert that his actions are not conducive to fostering intimacy and may even exacerbate the situation.

3. Refrain from involvement in the relationship between your parents, but do offer them your assistance and counsel. Trust that they are capable of handling their relationship.

As a child who cares about their parents, it is challenging to remain passive when the family is in a noisy, cold environment. While it is commendable to want to help and mediate, well-intentioned actions can also have unintended negative consequences.

The parents' relationship has reached a delicate equilibrium over the years. Now that the mother has left the family residence and gone to her sister's house, she is attempting to disrupt this equilibrium, which is not conducive to long-term coexistence and is not beneficial to the physical and mental health of both parties.

As children, they can provide support to their parents on a father-son and mother-daughter level, but they should avoid interfering excessively in their relationship as a couple. Only with the active participation of both parents can a new, healthier balance be established.

It is my hope that the above sharing will prove inspiring to you.

As a psychologist, my focus is not on exploring human nature but on supporting the human heart. I wish you well.

Hello!

The father is a male chauvinist who treats the mother like a servant and is violent towards her. Is the father psychopathic? Let's talk about it.

The father may have learned this pattern from his elders, such as your grandfather.

Psychologists believe this is passed down from generation to generation. You have realized this behavior may be a sign of psychological unhealthiness. It may stop with the father, and the next generation will not repeat it.

The father has some psychological problems.

(1) They are inferior.

People with low self-esteem try to hide their inner emptiness by appearing strong. They avoid making friends.

Earning less and having fewer friends will make his inferiority worse.

(2) The father chooses the mother as the target of domestic violence because he thinks it's the best choice.

The father uses violence against the mother because she is weaker than him.

If he has a conflict with someone outside the home, he will back down. Therefore, he will not be violent towards outsiders.

He knows he can get away with violence from his mother but not from others.

(3) The mother is passive-aggressive.

"My mother was angry and fought with my father." My mother's passive aggression made my father angry.

If you provoke an abuser, it's hard for them to control their emotions. They want to control you by force. If this happens a lot, it can lead to an abusive and masochistic relationship.

The father doesn't hit the child because the child listens and doesn't oppose him.

Here are some tips:

(1) Change how you interact.

The mother should stop being passive aggressive and stop arguing with the father. If there's a chance of a fight, try to stay away from the father to avoid violence. After decades of beating, it has been proven that you cannot win. Avoiding is the best way to protect yourself.

It's hard to change your father. To make things better, start by changing yourself.

(2) Children should see the father's need for his mother and help with the parents' relationship.

Fathers have inferiority complexes and can't express their feelings of dependence on their mothers. They have a fragile heart beneath their angry appearance. You can say to the father, "Mom is gone, and we can't take care of you. You've lost weight living alone, so go get Mom back!"

Some people may also suggest that parents should handle their own affairs. If they had the ability, they wouldn't be in this situation.

These suggestions are just ideas.

I hope they help you. Best regards!

Hello. From what I can see, you are a person with good organization, careful observation, a kind heart, and a love of peace and fear of conflict. Perhaps we could take a look at the model of your parents' marriage and see what kind of inspiration it might bring us.

[Karpman Triangle Game]

The Karpman triangle is a triangular drama that many of us may have experienced at one point or another. It was originally proposed by American psychologist Karpman.

The ego will often find itself switching between these three roles. When one person plays one of these roles, the people around them may unconsciously play the corresponding role in order to maintain the balance of the triangle. This psychological drama is played out in each of our hearts every day, perhaps you have never noticed it...

If the roles of mom and dad are persecutor vs. victim, who typically assumes the role of savior? I can discern the emotional tendency in your description of the content, and it seems that you yourself may be that savior, could that be right?

Perhaps we could take a moment to consider the inner thoughts of each character in this triangle.

From this perspective, it could be said that the victim feels powerless and at the mercy of fate, and may be reluctant to take responsibility for what happens to them.

Persecutor: Always wants to be on top, controls the other person through reproaches, criticism, and pressure. (From this perspective, it could be said that mum's verbal violence is sometimes just as violent as dad's fists, so the two of them take turns, right?)

The rescuer may intervene in the victim's cause and effect by taking the place of the victim, believing that they have rescued the victim from danger. This could potentially make the victim feel even more at ease and further strengthen the relationship of dependency. It would be interesting to consider who is more dependent on you at home.

As you have observed, Dad is polite to everyone else, but he and your mother have different approaches. He may not respond to the same words coming from other people's mouths. This is a learning experience for both of them. You say that Dad likes to sing, which is a very delicate aspect of him, which shows that his psychology is not distorted.

You say that your mother is short-tempered, loud, and capable, which could be seen as one aspect of her masculinity. Your father seems to remind her in an inappropriate way of the awakening of her inner feminine strength, the accepting, emotional strength that is capable of building connections with other people. It seems that your mother also reminds your father of the same thing with her strong side. They seem to be a perfect match, don't you think?

I'm not sure how old you are or if you've already established an intimate relationship and gained insight into the nature of your parents' relationship. If so, I hope this provides some inspiration. In an intimate relationship, how can you get along in an adult manner, rather than fighting like children?

It would be beneficial to explore these aspects further. It is important to recognize that the way parents interact is a reflection of their own lives, and it is essential to understand that one's own life script is unique and should not be copied.

I'm a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili. I hope my answer is helpful to you. If it's useful to you, I'd appreciate it if you could click the like button before leaving.

Hello, dear question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you so much for trusting us enough to tell us about your father and mother. Your openness helps us understand your father so much better. It's totally understandable that you don't understand his many hopes. You ask, "How should I view my father's psychological state?" Well, after reading your description, I'll try to explain.

1. Family status

1⃣️, Father

Personality and Hobbies

You said your father is 53 years old, doesn't have any financial worries, doesn't go to brothels or gamble, and only has a little drink now and then. His job is to repair home appliances in the countryside, but he doesn't earn much money these days.

Right now, he has lots of free time at home. He doesn't have many friends, but he enjoys singing every day.

From what you've told us, it's clear that your father was a very responsible person with a relatively quiet job. He didn't like crowds and liked to keep himself entertained by singing at home.

Face and lining

You said that your father was a bit of a male chauvinist. He thought that your mother shouldn't go out to earn money, but that she should stay home to do the laundry and cooking and serve him. Sometimes, your mother works part-time and comes home late, and your father gets a bit angry when he doesn't get his dinner on time. He even comes up to scold your mother!

He never felt that my mother had ever earned any money. He was a very kind person and generally treated outsiders with courtesy. He treated his children normally, but he treated my mother like a servant, which was really unfair.

My father didn't care much for my mother going out in public. He wanted her to take care of herself and the children. It's sad to say that he resented her. He was verbally and physically abusive all the time. But he treated outsiders and the children differently. He was kind and friendly to them.

I know it can be really confusing when your dad acts differently in public and at home.

2⃣️, Mom

Personality

You say, "My mother is 52 years old and often works as a waitress for the owner of a country banquet hall, and also helps the owner who collects fruit to pack the boxes. My mother used to be a bit of a hothead with a loud voice."

When I would argue with my father, I would often end up getting beaten up. I really couldn't stand my father's behavior, so I would speak up about it.

My mother was a bit short-tempered and stubborn, and she was never one to admit defeat. She was always so passionate about her opinions, and my father and I often butted heads and got into fights.

2⃣️, running away from home

You said, "Now my mom has run away from home and is at my sister's house, and my dad doesn't care at all. He gets pretty upset every day when he can't find my mom at home, so he plays the rogue and sends some pretty nasty messages. Whenever he talks about my mom, he doesn't care about reason. I suspect that he is a little bit psychopathic, and he only targets my mom."

Mom finally had to leave home because she couldn't take Dad's bad temper anymore. It seems like it was always directed at Mom, and it could flare up at any time.

3. Causes of Family Conflicts

1⃣️, traditional thinking

After reading the whole narrative, I feel that the father was a person who had received a very traditional education. It seems like he always had the idea in his mind that men are superior to women, which is totally understandable! Behavior:

It's so important to save face!

From what I can tell, the father is very concerned about his reputation. It seems like he's a bit embarrassed by his wife's public appearances. I can understand why he'd want her to stay home with the kids!

And of course, we can't forget about supporting your husband and raising your children!

In the mind of a father, a mother should be a woman who takes care of the home and family. She should handle the logistics and take care of herself too!

He'll take care of all the external matters.

I think it's really lovely that, even though Dad treats Mom badly, he treats you children so well. I bet it's because Dad feels responsible for raising you, and also because you don't disrespect him.

Oh, sweetheart, he doesn't have to be so mean to you.

We all know that men are superior to women, don't we?

Dad does have a patriarchal mindset. He believes that mom should respect and support him, not go against him. Arguing and debating with him is a way of belittling him. He wants to defend his face and regain his status, so the two of them get into big fights.

2⃣️, content with little and hardworking

Is this a contented father who is satisfied with a modest living?

Dad is a contented soul who's happy with a little wealth and thinks that as long as he's doing OK, that's enough. Mum is the glue that holds the household together and knows that this salary is not enough to support the family.

She doesn't think her family is so well off that her mom has to work to help support them.

Is she a hardworking mother?

From the description, we can also see that my mother is someone who really values hard work. She and my father have a bit of a tricky relationship, but working outside the home gives her a chance to feel fulfilled and to ease the tension in her relationship with my father and to take her mind off her worries.

Her sweet intentions were unfortunately misinterpreted by her husband, which led to a bit of a misunderstanding. She decided to go out to work to try to make things right.

3⃣️, Inner dissatisfaction It's so sad to see how unhappy your dad is. He seems to be lacking respect from his wife, and it's making him feel uncomfortable when they're together. It's like he's hoping for her to respect him and give him a

It's so sad to see a lack of respect in any family, but it's especially heartbreaking when it's between parents and children.

Whenever he mentions his wife, he gets pretty worked up. It's not that he hates his wife, but he gets a bit uncomfortable when he talks about her because he feels like she doesn't respect him.

In other words, Dad has always hoped that Mom will respect him and give him a little dignity at home.

It's so hard to find a way to express your feelings when you don't have a safe place to do so.

You mentioned that your father is usually unsociable and has few friends. It's so sad that he usually has grievances against your mother and worries in his heart, but he has nowhere to vent them because he is concerned about his reputation. It must be so hard for him! It seems like he vents his dissatisfaction through your mother.

4⃣️, poor communication

It's clear that Mum and Dad could both do with some help when it comes to communicating with each other. It seems like they're both struggling to understand each other's feelings, and they both want the other to do things their way. When they get anxious, it can lead to some pretty heated arguments.

This is why family wars often break out in your family.

4. What can we do to help?

1⃣️, Emotional expression

It's totally normal for parents to have different ways of communicating and personalities. Sometimes, their emotions can get the better of them. At times like this, children can:

It's probably best for parents to avoid confrontation for the time being. Dad can talk to you about his worries, and once he's expressed them, he'll feel better and won't take it out on mum.

Moms have a lot on their plates! It's not always easy to find the right way to express our emotions. Sometimes, we just need to let it all out. Then, when we're feeling a bit calmer, we can talk to our partners about what's on our minds.

I really hope my dad can understand me better.

2⃣️, Expressions of love

Even though parents might be at odds with each other, they still love each other very much. They just don't always know how to show it. For example, Dad wants to be respected, which is his way of showing love, and Mum also wants Dad to stop shouting at her all the time because it hurts her feelings. As a child, you can be a bridge of love between them:

I'd love to show you some ways to show love!

We all have our own unique understanding of love, and our ways of expressing and receiving it are as diverse as we are! Dr. Gary Chapman has helpfully categorized these different expressions and forms of love into five "languages of love": "affirming words," "quality time," "exchange of gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Words of Affirmation

It doesn't matter if you're friends, colleagues, lovers, or husband and wife — you need praise and affirmation! And the more positive feedback you give each other, the stronger your relationship will be.

? Special moments

Special moments are truly wonderful times and memories that you get to share together. They could be something as simple as a candlelit dinner or as meaningful as doing something together that really matters to you both.

It's always nice to accept gifts!

It's so lovely when people exchange gifts on special occasions. It's a wonderful way to show your love and appreciation, and it can really strengthen the bond between two people.

Acts of service are a great way to show your love and appreciation for someone. It's the little things that count!

In short, do what your partner wants you to do and make them happy by doing things for them. These things don't have to be big, they can be small things in life.

? Physical contact

Holding hands, hugging, and other forms of physical contact can really help to strengthen the emotional connection between you and your partner. It's a wonderful way to show your love and appreciation for one another.

Parents may not know the five ways to show love, but you can show them! There are so many ways to demonstrate love and create an atmosphere of love in your home. For example, you can praise your father for singing so well, thank him for never being angry with you, and thank him for all the hard work he has done for your growth.

Let him feel like he's done a great job and that his love is being noticed. It would be really lovely if you could teach your parents to treat each other the same way in private.

A bridge

As a result, parents may start to lose the ability to express their love. But don't worry! You can help them by doing something practical in each other's name once or twice. For example, you could tell your parents that what they really like about you is your integrity, your love for the family, and your unwillingness to spend money on frivolous things. They'll be singing your praises tomorrow!

Oh, you see this gift? She gave it to you, but she just didn't want to say anything.

Let your mother know that your father appreciates your hard work, your ability to take care of the household, and your sense of duty. Your father can be a bit reserved and may not always express himself as clearly as he'd like. If you speak more slowly, listen to his opinions, and show him respect, he'll be more likely to avoid harsh words.

And you'll also find that you'll stop arguing.

You've built a beautiful bridge of love for them, and as they walk along the road of love, it will become smoother and smoother, and your family will become more and more harmonious.

3⃣️, Effective Communication

The reason for the parents' arguments mentioned earlier is that they are not so good at expressing their thoughts. They think that arguing and fighting to see who is the best can solve problems. Unfortunately, this doesn't work very well! Not only have the problems not been solved, but the conflicts have intensified.

The best way to resolve family conflicts is to use effective communication.

Let's talk about effective communication!

Communication is all about sharing information with each other. It's the whole process of sending a message to someone and hoping they'll respond in the way you want. When this happens, it's a great feeling!

Communication is all about sending and receiving messages, both verbal and non-verbal. It's often the case that the non-verbal part is more important than the verbal part. Effective communication is really important for dealing with relationships with other people on campus.

Let's dive into the steps to effective communication!

Let's look at some simple steps to help us communicate more effectively:

Step 1: Let's start with expressing feelings, not emotions.

Step 2: It's okay to express what you want, even if it's something you don't want. It's natural to feel angry sometimes, but try to focus on the positive and express your feelings in a constructive way.

Step 3: Let's be real with each other. I'm not here to complain, but to express my needs.

Step 4: Let's look ahead to where you want to go! Don't get stuck dwelling on the past.

? Effect

That is, when parents have a conflict, they should go through these four steps to express their feelings, thoughts, needs, and wishes for the other person to understand what they really need, so that the other person can take action. Effective communication is a great way to build intimacy in your family!

Dear Question Owner, I can see that you're facing some challenges in your family. I'm so happy to have introduced you to a solution that I hope will be helpful to you!

And finally, have a wonderful day!