Hello, question asker! I am the answerer, Enoch.
The questioner has been influenced by his parents since childhood, which has led to emotional instability and sensitivity to the harm in intimate relationships. He is aware that this situation is a result of his parents' influence but wants to move on from it.
Everyone is affected by their family of origin to varying degrees. This is unavoidable because everyone has to adapt to their own environment. Once they grow up and have a certain ability, they can create better conditions to adapt to a new environment.
While one cannot choose one's family, one can choose one's actions. The questioner has found a solution: distance. His father's temper flares up at the slightest thing, and the questioner often finds himself inadvertently annoying his father. There is no reason to argue with his father, so the questioner chooses to stay away.
If your personality has already been influenced by family members, you must eliminate these negative influences in other environments. When you want to get angry, control yourself first, calm down, and then communicate patiently with friends in a new way to solve it, or exercise your patience. After getting used to a new pattern, the previous pattern will gradually fade away. Spend more time with other outstanding people with gentle personalities, take some self-improvement psychology courses, and watch some healing programs. This will help you become full of sunshine and warmth, and your temperament will slowly improve.
I am confident that the original poster will succeed in transforming himself in his new relationships and environment, and that he will enjoy a better life in the future.


Comments
I understand how challenging it is to navigate such a complex family environment. It's important to recognize that your feelings and reactions are valid, and it's not your fault. Seeking help from a therapist or counselor can provide you with tools to manage your emotions more effectively.
It sounds like you're carrying a lot of weight on your shoulders. It's okay to feel overwhelmed. Maybe finding a support system outside your family, like friends or a support group, could offer you some relief and perspective.
Your parents' behavior shouldn't define who you are. You have the power to break the cycle. Consider exploring mindfulness practices or meditation to gain better control over your emotional responses. Small steps can lead to significant changes over time.
I'm really sorry you're going through this. It's tough when we see parts of ourselves in our parents that we don't want to emulate. Have you thought about journaling or writing as a way to express and process your feelings? Sometimes putting thoughts on paper can help us understand them better.
It's clear you're trying hard to change, and that's commendable. Emotional regulation is a skill that takes practice. Perhaps setting up boundaries with your parents and focusing on selfcare can help protect your mental health. Remember, it's okay to prioritize yourself.