Should one follow others' guidance or rely on personal experience in life?

It is unfortunate that your brother has resorted to using some extreme examples to refute your point. It is important to recognize that life can be guided by others as well as relying on personal experience. This is not contradictory because some of the experiences of other people can also broaden your own thinking.

There are many times when we are unaware of the methods that could help us see the truth. In the future, we may be able to use these methods more easily. In your brother's case of severe depression, it may be helpful for him to receive treatment.

Severe depression is a serious condition that requires a combination of medication and psychological counseling. He is considering taking a leave of absence from school, but is concerned that this may delay his studies. In this case, he might want to consider taking a leave of absence for half a month and then returning to school.

There are still many possibilities in his life. Even if he takes a break from school, he can still study at home by himself. Even if he can't keep up, he can repeat the grade in the future or something, so his life won't be completely ruined. This may not be the most positive way of thinking, and there is no need to dwell on it.

It's possible that his severe depression is contributing to these negative thoughts. We all have our own thoughts, and it's not always helpful to listen to other people's experiences too much. We also have our own thoughts. It's important to let ourselves experience positive things while abiding by the law and patiently looking at other people's opinions. If possible, it's a good idea to allow yourself to receive psychological counseling. The other person may benefit from professional help. Good luck!

Could I ask you something, ZQ?

Dear question asker,

Is guidance from others a necessity in navigating life's challenges, or is personal experience the primary source of insight?

This is not a question that can be answered in the negative or the affirmative; therefore, it can be said that you have been led into your brother's problem by him.

It is often said that failing to heed the advice of the elderly can result in adverse consequences. While guidance from others can serve as a valuable reference point, it is not an absolute guarantee of correctness.

Your brother's teachers and parents assert that it is inadvisable to take time off from school for the purpose of recuperation from illness. However, a review of historical and contemporary examples reveals that numerous individuals who have achieved notable success in their respective fields did not complete their formal education. These include Abraham Lincoln, Maxim Gorky, Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, and Warren Buffett.

Consequently, the significance of taking a break from school is contingent upon how your brother perceives the situation.

The conclusion that suspension from school will affect one's life is informed by one's life experience.

The focus of this year's Winter Olympics was Ailing Gu. When she was praised as a genius, she countered that her success was the result of hard work. She espoused the view that "as long as you work hard, everyone can succeed."

This also indicates that your brother holds the conviction that "taking a break from school will affect his life," and thus, this matter will undoubtedly impact his life, regardless of whether you assert otherwise.

As you have previously stated, each individual's life experience is unique, and it is not within our purview to impose our views on others. This applies equally to your parents and to you.

In the event of a question regarding whether or not to suspend school, the decision should be left to the discretion of the individual in question, provided that they are an adult. In the case of a minor, it is imperative that their opinion is respected.

It is my hope that this response will provide some degree of inspiration.

It is my hope that this response will provide some degree of inspiration.

Thank you for asking. It's clear you care deeply about your brother.

Your brother is not just depressed. He is also anxious and even somewhat manic.

Your brother said he doesn't want to take a break from school. He feels it's not a good idea.

We don't know where he got this idea from, but it's his own for now. We don't know if he needs to be hospitalized.

If hospitalization is required, he must take time off. If it is not, he is free to take time off or suspend his studies.

At the time, your brother's experience is the most important thing.

From your description, it is clear that he wants to cut off the ears and eyes of your doll. Sometimes it may just be out of curiosity, but it is also a sign of his uncontrollable emotions.

The doctor's professional diagnosis is crucial in this situation. The doctor will determine the best course of targeted treatment, which may or may not include suspending school.

In your discussion with your brother, it is clear that he is refuting your arguments, which are very reasonable. He is, however, being reasonable.

He ignored his own emotions, reactions, and immediate feelings. His emotions and immediate feelings refer to his emotional experience, not your brother's experience of experiencing the act of killing.

If you understand your brother's logic, you'll understand how he feels when he argues with you. He doesn't want to take a break from school, but that's just what he thinks. He knows schoolwork is important to him.

He chooses to stay in school, and we respect that choice.

And we will not demand that he do something in the name of being good to him.

Let's be real, we're not in their shoes and can't truly grasp their emotions.

I hope this helps. Remember, the world and I love you.

Hello! I can totally feel your worries, anxieties, and fears from your description.

Your younger brother has decided to take a break from school due to severe depression. He's worried that it will delay his studies and have a significant impact on his life, but he's also excited about the possibilities this break will bring.

You tried to persuade your brother to give up this idea, but when he refuted it, you were speechless! You were worried and scared, but also excited to see what would happen next.

On the one hand, you're not sure why your brother has such extreme ideas, but on the other hand, you're excited to see what he'll do next!

I totally get it. I really hope your brother gets better and can go back to a normal life.

☺️ Do you really allow your brother to rely on his own experience?

On the one hand, you try to persuade your brother that he doesn't need to listen too much to other people's experiences and that he needs to gain his own life experiences.

On the other hand, when your brother raises objections, you feel speechless and think that his ideas are paranoid and extreme.

This seems contradictory, but it's an opportunity for growth! Do you want your brother to follow your ideas? Or do you want him to think for himself?

How does your brother want to decide whether to take a break from school? It would be great if you could respect his opinion!

Or would you love for your younger brother to agree with you and do things your way?

Who created the division within your younger brother?

You're so excited to tell us about something your brother said that made you think he really has a tendency to hit people!

At the same time, your younger brother said that there is a force in his body that makes him want to hurt others. The good news is that it is only because his parents keep stopping him that he has not done anything crazy!

Guess what! Your younger brother once cut off the ears and eyes of your doll!

It's so great that you're here to tell us all about your brother's behavior.

On the one hand, you're encouraging your younger brother to embrace his own ideas and on the other, you're guiding him to align with your parents' views.

It is these behaviors that make my younger brother feel very divided inside. He really wants to live according to his own thoughts, and he's going to do it! His parents, teachers, and what is said and done in books all make him feel that he is problematic and has a tendency towards violence, and that he is not allowed to even think about it. But he's going to think about it anyway, and he's going to do it his way!

This creates a fascinating inner divide in his heart, leaving him in a state of confusion and bewilderment.

☺️ Try to truly respect and accept your younger brother.

Ultimately, it's up to him whether or not to take a break from school.

Our younger brother is going through a lot right now, but we can give him more time to make a choice!

We can give our younger brother the space he needs to find his own way. When he's ready to ask for advice or share his thoughts, he will. In the meantime, we can focus on being there for him and offering support.

Absolutely! We can definitely listen more to our brother's true thoughts and feelings and respect his own choices.

Don't be in a hurry to jump to conclusions or express your own thoughts. Acceptance and respect are the absolute best support and encouragement for your brother!

Wishing you the very best!

Hello!

I can give you advice.

Your brother is depressed and should take a break from school. Has he been diagnosed by a doctor?

The doctor said he had severe depression. What did he advise?

Did he recommend taking a break from school and medication? Did he recommend counseling?

He doesn't want to take a break from school. He still wants to learn and doesn't want his life to be delayed. He thinks that delaying school for a few years will have a big impact on his life.

His conclusion will surprise and shock you. You think his thinking is clear, but he is in a depressive state. He is worried about his future, so he decides not to take a break from school.

You were puzzled and couldn't understand, so you asked him why he thought poor academic performance would ruin his life. He said he'd come to this conclusion through his parents, teachers, and books.

None of the three sources of information he cited came from within himself.

He trusts others more than himself. He trusts his parents, teachers, and authors.

He will think that authority is the most important thing, that these people know more than he does, and that what they say is right. He has only been in the world for a short time.

Parents, teachers, and authors are older and have more experience. He trusts what they say and believes it will help him live a good life.

Without probing his inner self, his feelings are relaxed, but he is also irresponsible.

Your brother is depressed. Some of his thoughts are extreme. Is he taking medication?

Is there any relief now? One of us is asking him what he really thinks, while the other is judging whether his thoughts are dangerous.

You said he has a tendency towards violence. He cut off your doll's ears and eyes. He also said there is a force that wants him to hurt others. I hope we can help him see himself and perceive himself.

Ask him to feel his strength and tell him it comes from within. Let him know why. Is it because of his family?

Or is it because of his experiences that have caused some emotions to be suppressed?

His violent behavior may be due to unfulfilled childhood thoughts and suppressed emotions. Controlling his heart with his mind has prevented true emotions from being expressed.

He wants to break free and express himself, but he doesn't know how.

He may express himself through violence or destruction. He may need comfort or attention.

As his family, we can help him find a solution to this problem and help him feel better. Let him understand that he can take the lead in his own life. We can learn from others, but we can't say that what they say is completely right.

We need to find ourselves. What is your own self?

This needs to be found together with his family. He needs to realize he exists, is important, and can achieve things through his own strength.

Best wishes!

Click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom to continue.

Psychology Q&A Community, World, and I Love You: https://m.xinli001.com/qa

You're the only one who can truly understand your feelings, including your own.

We've all been there. We've all been in that situation where we feel like we're not in control of our lives. We've all been in that play that we didn't choose to be in. We've all been in that situation where we feel like we're not as wise as we could be. We've all been in that phase where we feel like we're still a bit childish. But, you know what? We're all growing. We're all getting better. We're all learning. We're all doing our best. And that's what matters.

Life is not just about following a set path. Some people are born with natural talent, but end up accomplishing nothing; others study hard all night and end up deceiving the world. Not everyone is nailed down to a single path, and moving forward like a machine is not what life is about.

If a problem arises, it's easy to get stuck in it and keep moving forward, just like we are in a swamp. The more we struggle, the deeper we sink. But there's no need to worry! Taking a break from school won't affect his future studies. Mental health problems are like a cold in the mind, which can be cured but also get worse.

We all love to imagine what the future will be like, but we're sometimes forgetting that we can't control it. The past is what it is, and the future is a mystery. The one thing we can control is how we live in the present.

Our lives are always changing with our decisions. The misfortunes of the past may become the stepping stones to leap out of the abyss at this moment, but they may also become the last brick to block the exit. Either way, we can get through it!

Everyone is unique, and that's a beautiful thing! Education is there to help us integrate into society and live our best lives. Nobody's ever 100% sure that they're right or wrong. Our judgments are all subjective, so right and wrong aren't set in stone. With the progress of science, anything can change! We're all just standing on the shoulders of giants, living our lives, achieving our goals, and pursuing the life we want.

We humans have the job of defining what it means to be alive and what it means to die. There are still some things about life and death that we don't know, and we can't know everything about them. But we don't have to know everything about them. We're not perfect, and we can't know everything. We're always learning, and we look for experiences that make our hearts sing.

Many human experiences are gradually acquired during the growth process. It's not really important to study your brother's tendencies. After psychological problems occur, in many cases one's true thoughts cannot be expressed. His mind is always paranoid in a certain direction, and he is constantly struggling. What we can do is to continue to assist his doctor in finding the time node and situation that made him think this way, and where exactly he acquired such an emotion.

The good and the bad that we have established are all relative popular directions that have gradually formed during the course of human development and are recognized by everyone. However, none of this is absolute. Even the law is subject to revision from time to time. It's okay to have different views and not completely identify with it.

Everyone's experience is different, and what we call "experience gained" is meaningless without taking into account the person, growth experience, family situation, social background, and other conditions. Success doesn't depend on one person alone, but is the result of many factors working together. We can refer to other people's experiences, but understanding the meaning of one's own life is a long and grand matter. No one can do it until the moment of death, when they can look back on their past.

Life is a long road, and we'll meet all kinds of people and things along the way. But at the end of the day, we're all alone on the road. Others might help us or hinder us, but at the end of the day, we need to live our own lives. What others can provide is only advice, and the real decisions are always ours alone to make. We're the ones who can save ourselves.

Hello. Thank you for inviting me. I am Shu Ya Qingzheng, and I will share my thoughts and provide you with the support you need.

My younger brother wants to take a break from school because of severe depression. He feels that doing so would put his future life in great danger, and you understand that there is some cognitive bias in this statement. You can see your brother's aggression, but you are unable to convince him.

You should be concerned and worried about your brother. Give him a hug!

Let's first look at why my younger brother thinks this way.

Erikson's theory of psychological development asserts that a healthy person goes through eight stages from birth to death. At each stage, we encounter different needs, ask new questions, and meet people who influence our behavior and learning.

These stages include four childhood stages, one adolescent stage, and three adult stages. Each stage has tasks that must be completed during this stage, and each stage builds on the previous stage. These eight stages are closely linked.

If you properly resolve the tasks of each stage, you will achieve a more complete identity and enjoy the present.

If the core task is not handled successfully or is a failure, the result will be a fragmented and incoherent state of personal identity. Success and failure in handling are the two extremes.

My younger brother is almost certainly in the early stages of puberty, which is the fifth stage of an individual's life, between the ages of 13 and 19. This is a stage of conflict between self-identity and role confusion.

Erikson applied the identity crisis theory to explain social problems such as social discontent and crime among adolescents. He was clear in his assertion that "if a child feels that the environment he is in deprives him of the possibilities of acquiring self-identity in his future development, he will resist the social environment with surprising strength."

Adolescents are troubled and confused by new social demands and conflicts in society. This is more important than the surge of instinctive impulses that can lead to problems.

The younger brother is undoubtedly facing the main tasks of adolescence, namely establishing a new sense of identity or image of oneself in the eyes of others, as well as his emotional position in the social group.

His current life experience and current living environment have led to a depressed state of mind and such perceptions and thoughts.

We must understand and respect the situation of the younger brother and encourage him to seek professional help from a counselor. Taking a break from school is not a break from learning; it is a time to adjust and rest in order to learn better.

02. We should listen to others' advice and rely on personal experience.

The answer is clear: it's related to the age stage and psychological development of the individual.

The period before early adulthood is one of constant growth and learning. It's a time to soak up knowledge and gain valuable experience.

In the early stages of life or at the beginning of a field, we must heed the advice of others.

As we enter the early adult stage, we gain more self-awareness and experience, which allows us to take on greater responsibility and execute tasks with confidence.

This is related to our thinking patterns.

The frontal lobe of the brain, which is responsible for rational thinking, will not be fully developed before the age of 25. This will result in some immature thinking and deviations.

As he grows and gains life experience, he will develop a more mature way of thinking.

The third point is related to the practical problems we face.

You undoubtedly know the story of Fang Mou and Du Du, the prime minister and chancellor of the Tang Dynasty. Fang was resourceful and Du was decisive. They worked together to solve problems and were known for their teamwork.

You must consider the actual situation to determine whether to follow the advice of others or rely on personal experience when solving a problem.

My advice for your brother's problems is to treat them dialectically according to his psychological development needs. Give him understanding and acceptance, then encouragement and support. This is the best way to help him grow.

Best regards!

I love you, and I'm here to help.

I am a psychometric coach at 1st Psychology. If you want to continue the conversation, click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom, and I will communicate with you one-on-one.

Hello! I'm Little Sheep, and I'm free of all your worries!

After reading your experience, I'm excited to share a few points that I think will be really helpful for you!

First of all, you say that life should be guided by others or based on personal experience. I don't think there is an absolute answer to this question, which means there are endless possibilities!

Life is an exciting journey full of possibilities and surprises! You never know what amazing things you'll experience next. The great news is that you have the power to make your own choices and shape your destiny. Even if you listen to other people's opinions, you can still follow your heart and blaze your own trail!

As Dante said, "Go your own way and let others talk." In the eyes of many people, life is yours to live, the road is yours to take! So why not blaze your own trail and be the first person to eat the crab? Even if others have been there, that's their journey, not yours.

So, if you want to live a great life, you've got to believe in yourself and follow your heart! This is the key to success. We can listen to other people's opinions, but remember not to believe them completely. We've got to make choices and judgments. Following others blindly will only cause us to lose ourselves – so let's make sure we're following our own path!

❤️Secondly, regarding your brother's behavior, you mentioned that he may be young. You can tell him that taking a break from school will not affect his studies, and that he is just a bit slower than others, but he can still receive an education. This is great news!

"Everyone has a different flowering time, so there is no need to be anxious about others having it earlier than you." Teach him slowly, tell him, guide him, and if he listens more to his parents, then mobilize his parents to persuade him. Every child is malleable, so there's no doubt he'll be just fine!

I really hope my advice is helpful and that your worries will be resolved soon! Come on, the world and I love you!

Hello, question asker!

After reading your description in detail, I'm wondering if life should be guided by others or based on personal experience.

You might find it helpful to answer the following questions to gain a better understanding of this topic.

"What shocked me was that when my younger brother argued with me, he felt that since there was no need to do so because of the circumstances, there was nothing wrong with murder and arson. I'd learned some postmodern knowledge that 'the world is constructed,' so I felt that what he said was right. Then this recognition made me very scared."

Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, came up with the famous "three I's" theory: the id, the ego, and the superego.

1. The id is made up of all our basic instincts. It's driven by the "pleasure principle" and is focused on getting what it wants, even if it means doing something wrong. The seven deadly sins—arrogance, gluttony, greed, anger, envy, sloth, and lust—are all examples of the id in action. They're driven by the desire for immediate gratification.

2. Ego: the conscious part of the personality, guided by the principle of fact, this part must both seek satisfaction and avoid pain. The ego is responsible for contact with reality and acts as an arbitrator between the id and the superego, supervising the id and satisfying the superego.

It's more evident in how well you follow the rules, and any conflicts between the ego and the superego are resolved through the rules.

3. The super-ego is the last part of the personality to develop and is the most civilized. It reflects the moral standards and behaviors expected by the society from which the child grew up. It's guided by the principle of perfection and is part of the moral ideal personality structure.

No matter what the external environment is like, murder and arson are classic examples of the ego at work. If the ego is strong, the self and superego are likely to be weak.

The conservation of mental energy means that the other two parts have to compete for energy, which can make us seem out of touch with reality and lead to a range of psychological issues.

If you're interested, you can look into psychoanalytic theories in more detail. I hope this helps! :)