Sophomore male, inferiority complex, anxiety, confused, I want to love this world so much

Dear Sir, I am writing to request your participation in a research project. I would be grateful if you could share your story with me. You have experienced a number of challenges throughout your life, including the divorce of your parents, bullying at school, difficulties at a prestigious middle school, and the challenge of pursuing a university education. Despite these difficulties, you have demonstrated resilience and determination in your pursuit of success. Your journey is an inspiration and I would like to discuss with you a few ideas that I have developed based on your experiences. I look forward to hearing from you. Best regards,

— You have effectively utilized your childhood trauma as a learning tool and your life as a training ground, simultaneously growing and healing from the trauma. I commend your remarkable resilience and tenacity.

Childhood trauma has a significant impact on an individual's resilience. You have demonstrated resilience in overcoming these challenges. For instance, when you were bullied, you chose to endure the anger and humiliation, but you were concerned about worrying your family, so you chose to bear it alone. This experience has shaped your outlook on life and tempered your resolve. When you grew up, you did not carry your resentment to the end, but reconciled with your mother. This is a testament to your strength and resilience compared to those children who pour all their pain into their original families.

You are effectively addressing and resolving childhood issues as you move forward in your recovery process.

— Even after dressing the wound, some blood may still be oozing out. You have chosen to face the issue head-on and receive treatment. You are aware that you do not fit in, but you have learned how to manage anxiety and how to ask for help when needed. You have stated that you only know how to study, but in fact, it is studying that has led you in the right direction and kept you on course. The prestigious school initially caused you to develop low self-esteem, but it also inspired your determination to study. Despite failing the college entrance exam and even considering suicide, you have survived. You have suppressed your rebelliousness and achieved your university dream. Every success has been through trials and tribulations. Your experience is heartbreaking, but also admirable.

— Long-term stress cannot be relieved, and accumulated emotions need an outlet. When you clear up the backlog of emotions with the help of a professional counselor and release the anger and fear that have been pent up for so long, you will be close to healing.

Persevere. Many individuals experiencing depression and anxiety tend to self-attack internally, leading to a withdrawal from external stimuli.

I empathize with your current emotional state. For an individual accustomed to self-restraint, confronting one's mother is a significant shift. Your mother has accused you of being heartless and cruel, and of lacking an understanding of psychology. It is understandable that you find this criticism difficult to accept. You have a deep understanding of her perspective and believe this behavior is a self-defense mechanism shaped by a lack of love and security. Your rationale is logical, and this is a defense mechanism you have developed over an extended period. However, you have the option to question your mother, which provides a safe psychological outlet. It is important not to be overly critical of yourself, and it would be even more beneficial if your mother could respond to your statements in a constructive manner, similar to a counselor.

— It is important to seek out a variety of resources and to take steps to overcome the challenges you are facing. You have stated that you will speak with your mother about these difficulties, and that she is a strong individual.

Your mother's understanding and companionship provide a safe haven. This is also the result of your initiative to reconcile with your mother, so I'll give you a big thumbs-up.

You indicated that during the two years of university, you experienced significant mental and physical exhaustion on numerous occasions, to the point of contemplating suicide. This illustrates the profound impact of this pain on your well-being.

This episode is different from before. You have a strong inner mother figure, a reliable outlet for communication, the unwavering support of your mother, and you are aware of a group of individuals who are willing to listen to you and provide guidance during this challenging period. I believe that with the assistance and guidance of numerous professionals, your patient, who is as intelligent as you are, will not disappoint with their understanding and support. It is essential to prioritize self-care and resilience. Let's offer encouragement to this dedicated individual. I have confidence in your ability to succeed. Take a moment to care for yourself.

Please be advised that the information in this message is confidential and for the eyes only of the intended recipient. Hide

Good morning,

Host:

My name is Zeng Chen, and I work as a heart coach. I have taken the time to carefully read the post, and it is evident from the content that the poster has faced significant challenges and endured numerous painful experiences throughout their journey of growth and development.

I am happy to say that the host has survived the difficulties and has shown great courage in expressing their distress and seeking help on the platform. This will undoubtedly help them to gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their family.

I made the necessary adjustments.

I hope that sharing my observations and thoughts from the post will help you to view the situation from a more diverse perspective.

1. Story

In the original post, it was mentioned that the author attended an elite junior high school, which may have instilled a sense of inferiority at a formative age. I did not experience a similar period of rebellion.

Studying hard unfortunately led to some damage to my cervical vertebrae. In high school, I came to realise that I could no longer compare my efforts to those of others, which led to a further increase in my self-consciousness.

After reading this information, I feel I can better understand the poster and am reminded of a story.

This story is about a Peking University student who had the good fortune to gain admission to the university with the top score in the city. Before entering Peking University, he was very confident because of his academic achievements. However, after entering Peking University, he found that his academic performance was not as strong as he had hoped in the class. And during his studies at Peking University, some of his classmates who were more outstanding went abroad to study, while he only stayed at Peking University to pursue a graduate degree.

All this made him feel somewhat inferior. But then he discovered a way to move from feeling inferior to feeling confident.

He came to understand that there will always be someone who is better than you at something, and that it is not helpful to compare yourself with others. It is encouraging to recognize that today's self is often better than yesterday's self.

Today, he is trying very hard. With time, he is beginning to recognize the positive aspects of himself and understand that confidence is a key ingredient in building strength.

He came to understand that confidence is not the result of inherent goodness, but rather that a person becomes good because they are confident. As a result, he moved from feeling inferior to embracing confidence.

I share this story in the hope that it might offer some inspiration. I understand confidence as a total acceptance of oneself, accepting the real self, accepting the imperfect self, accepting one's strengths and also one's weaknesses.

Perhaps we can become more confident by approaching things this way. It seems that confidence does not come from being good, but rather from having the belief that we can become better.

2. It might be helpful to try to reconcile.

Let me start by sharing a story. Imagine an elephant that was tied up by a rope from a young age. It tried to break free many times, but was unable to do so.

So it came to believe that it lacked the strength to break free of the rope. However, as it grew slowly, it discovered that its own strength was actually growing continuously.

However, the previous perception led to the belief that the rope was incredibly strong and that it had no strength to break free, which resulted in it remaining trapped.

I was inspired by this story to consider that our past experiences, including the pain they may have caused us, can be seen as a rope that binds us. When we were young, we may not have had the strength or resources to break free from it and protect ourselves. But now that we have grown up, we have more strength and resources to protect ourselves, so it is important to recognize that we have power.

Our upbringing and early years can have a significant impact on our development, but they don't necessarily determine our future. As long as we are open to making positive changes, I believe we can gradually move towards a more fulfilling life. How can we do that? One way is by trying to reconcile with ourselves and with our family of origin.

Reconciliation is not about making up, but rather about recognizing that we have now grown up and that it is time for us to take responsibility for our own lives, our own needs, and our own emotions. While we did not have a choice about being born the first time, we can work hard for ourselves in our second birth.

3. Consider seeking help.

It is not uncommon for people to lack the energy to help themselves. In such cases, it is important to remember that there are often resources available to support them. These can be identified by looking at the resources around us and considering what might be helpful.

If we are fortunate enough to have the means, we can also seek professional advice and leave professional matters to the professionals. If we are not so fortunate, we can still try to help ourselves.

Perhaps we could consider learning psychology on our own. Why is it called learning psychology?

Psychology is about helping us understand ourselves, explore ourselves, and gain insight into our inner selves. With this understanding, we can gradually move beyond the influence of our original family and heal the wounds of the past. This process can be seen as a rebirth.

Fortunately, we live in an era where the internet offers a wealth of resources, including numerous psychology courses and books. I believe that these can be valuable tools for your journey.

If you are open to it, you can still find people who are willing to walk with you and help you along the way.

I truly hope that these words have been of some help and inspiration to you.

Hello, I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I read your description and I can see that you've been through a lot. Despite all that, you still want to love the world. I'm really touched by that. When we're exhausted, it's not always easy to see the way forward. But there are ways we can help ourselves to love the world again.

My advice to you is to:

It's a good idea to tell your story as many times as you need to in order to gain a deeper understanding of yourself.

You mentioned that this is the second time you've shared your story. That's totally fine. We can talk about our experiences in a variety of safe environments because it helps us understand ourselves better. When we talk, it's also a way to release and express our emotions, which can have a healing effect. I can relate because when I was going through a rough patch, I really enjoyed talking to people who understood my concerns, anxieties, and challenges.

These days, lots of my friends come to me to talk about their problems. I never judge or accuse them, but instead help them adjust their perceptions and offer them support on the basis of acceptance and respect. They all say that they feel much more relaxed after talking to me. So don't worry about talking about it, and don't care how many times you talk about it. In fact, the more you talk about it, the more you can release the suppressed emotions and feelings in your heart.

Of course, you can also join various groups on our Yixinli platform to talk through your issues with others who understand and support you. This can help you rebuild your inner sense of security. You can also participate in the platform's chat rooms, where many teachers will be available at different times. You can join the current chat room at a time that is convenient for you, speak into the microphone, and express your troubles in words. At the same time, you will also receive help from many friends and professional teachers. I believe this is also a good choice for you. None of this will cost you anything, so you can participate with confidence.

In short, I suggest talking about it through various channels to release the feelings and emotions that are suppressed inside, and your heart will become more and more relaxed.

2. About inferiority.

It's normal to have a bit of an inferiority complex. Our upbringing can make us feel more inferior than others, but it's nothing to be ashamed of.

As long as you're willing to make adjustments and changes, you can build up your inner self-confidence and move from feeling inferior to feeling confident in yourself.

I know that perhaps due to your upbringing, you don't feel good enough and think that no matter what you do, you don't deserve to be loved. But this is just some limiting thoughts and beliefs formed by your upbringing, and these can be changed. Our thoughts and beliefs are not our own, and we can adjust them. These bad thoughts and beliefs will never make us confident and happy. So it's time to let them go. We need to choose to believe in those thoughts that will make us better and happier, and remind ourselves of them often.

So, if we want to become confident, we first need to accept ourselves, accept our current situation, accept our past, accept our imperfections, and accept this objective, comprehensive self with some shortcomings and lack of confidence. When you can truly accept yourself, a huge change will occur.

By then, you'll have a better handle on your own strengths and weaknesses, and you'll be less concerned with what others think.

Once you've accepted yourself, it's important to identify your strengths and find what makes you shine. Once you've done that, you can leverage your strengths, recognize your value, and build on your abilities. For instance, if you're highly engaged when doing something and you complete it efficiently and want to keep doing it, that's a sign you're good at it and it's your strength.

Don't assume you can't do these things. Instead, recognize your value and worth. When you do, you'll naturally feel more confident and like yourself more.

Once we've identified our strengths and values, it's crucial to persevere in taking action and making small achievements in real life. This means setting achievable goals that align with our abilities and consistently striving to reach them, grow, and break through. Along the way, it's essential to self-motivate and celebrate successes. I do this by setting ten small daily goals, including exercise, socializing, learning, work, family, and entertainment. When I accomplish a goal, I mark it off and give myself a pat on the back. I don't take this for granted. When I've completed all my tasks for a week, I reward myself with a book I like or a restaurant I enjoy.

This is how it's worked for me: by setting and achieving small goals day by day, I've listened to books for 992 consecutive days, answered 661 questions, and walked 8,000 steps every day. I've also gained new knowledge and improved my abilities and physical fitness. Of course, I've become more confident because I've achieved so many goals.

I truly believe that with the same method, you can absolutely do it. Just start today and set small goals that you can achieve every day.

3. There are lots of ways you can help yourself manage your emotions and improve your perception.

If you can, it's best to find a counselor who can help you manage your emotions, think in a new way, cope better with life's difficulties, and build self-confidence. If you can't find a counselor, as I said earlier, you can also join groups or chat rooms where you can talk in a safe environment, which can also have a therapeutic effect.

There are also lots of ways to help you release your emotions.

When you're feeling down, it's a great idea to go for a run or play some tennis. I'd also recommend setting aside some time every day for exercise. Do whatever sport you enjoy. You'll find that you enjoy the process of exercising itself, and at the same time, you'll get some physical activity, and your mood will improve.

Another option is to keep a daily emotional diary. Find a time and space where you won't be disturbed and spend some time alone with yourself. Write down your emotions and feelings, whatever you want. Don't worry about the neatness of your handwriting or the logic of the content. Just express yourself freely. If you keep writing, you'll find that your emotions will become more and more stable.

You can also read books that will help you. For example, if you say that you are now in a state of anxiety and depression, you can read books about how to deal with depression and anxiety to help you understand this area better and learn about related methods and knowledge. For example, "Coping with Anxiety" and "Out of Depression" are both very good books.

You can also meditate every day and regularly practice mindfulness meditation, which can reach deep into the subconscious mind and help us improve our negative perceptions and establish positive perceptions.

I believe that when you can help yourself to release emotions, understand yourself, take care of yourself, and build up your inner sense of security and self-confidence through various methods, you will love yourself enough, and at that time, you will also love the world enough.

Just take it easy and give yourself time to adjust and grow. You'll get better and better.

Wishing you the best!

Good morning, host.

I'm grateful for your invitation and for sharing your growth story. I can imagine that your journey has not been easy, with feelings of loneliness and inferiority often present, academic life not going as you hoped, and often feeling physically and mentally exhausted, and that life has had its challenges.

I admire your courage and resilience as well. You have faced challenges and adversity with determination, persevering through difficulties to reach this point.

I wonder if I might suggest that the "growth stories" you are referring to here are actually more inclined to be a period of less pleasant memories. For example, you mention being "born clumsy, parents divorced after arguing, unpopular, poor academic performance, bullied at school, failed the college entrance exam, inferiority complex and confused."

Stories often refer to the experiences people have lived through, which could be thought of as a person's "life course." The process of telling life stories is narrative, which can depict life and also influence life. In your story, you seem to have been a person who has experienced setbacks and felt abandoned by fate. This could be seen as a "life script" you have set for yourself. The script may be a self-determination made during childhood, which could be reinforced during growth.

If we find ourselves facing a negative and pessimistic "life script," we might consider trying to enter the process of "redeciding on a life script" by "practicing self-awareness and deconstructing and reconstructing life stories."

After all, you have now reached an age where you can choose your life direction in a more mature and powerful way.

Perhaps the first step could be to talk to your inner child and say goodbye from the bottom of your heart to the helpless and lonely child self from before. You might like to tell it that you are willing to love and protect it, and that you have grown up and have the strength to make a new decision that will make both you and it happy.

Secondly, it may be helpful to consider the relationship between your favourite, most hated or most influential stories and your past life experiences. This could help you to understand your life script better.

You may wish to consider giving your script a name and then thinking about what the possible endings might be according to this script. This could help you to decide whether the endings you envisage are what you want.

Step 3: Deconstructing the problem story: Deconstruction is a questioning technique that counselors may use when dealing with clients in narrative therapy. You may also find it helpful to use this technique in self-awareness and self-change after learning the meaning and essence of deconstruction.

Perhaps it would be helpful to define what is meant by the term "deconstruction." It is often the case that a person is unaware that they possess a wealth of unrecognized content, which could be described as the "branch line" of their narrative. The process of thinking about and exploring this unrecognized content is what is meant by the term "deconstruction."

One way to gain insight into how one's problem stories, feelings, and thoughts are formed is through deconstruction. Rather than questioning the existing narrative as a whole, this approach involves exploring different perspectives and angles from it, as well as considering a broader range of possibilities.

For instance, in the story you shared, you mentioned that your academic performance was not as strong as you would have liked and that you did not pass the college entrance exam. However, I have observed that you are a student who studies very hard and is resilient and determined. In the long run, is it the result that matters, or the good qualities you accumulate while doing something? Also, isn't the reconciliation, change, and dependence in your relationship with your mother a very positive thing?

I hope that I have been able to show you that our lives can be full of colour and joy.

In addition, I would like to share some tips that I feel may be helpful.

1. It is important to follow your doctor's advice and take your medication on time and in the correct dosage. Although depression can take a long time to treat, it can be cured. It is also possible that your current outlook on life may be influenced by depression.

2. If you are unsure what you would like to do, you could try going for a walk in nature. It is often said that nature can help us to feel calm and relaxed.

Sometimes, when we take the time to appreciate the beauty of nature, we can find a sense of perspective and realize that our challenges may not be as daunting as they seem.

3. It might be helpful to develop an interest in reading and a habit of exercising. Reading can help to cultivate the mind and character, and exercising can strengthen the body. Both activities have the advantage of being low-cost and high-reward.

I hope you find these thoughts helpful, even if they are only a small contribution to the larger discussion.

I hope this finds you well. Wishing you the best,

Hello, question asker! My name is Evan, and I'm here to help.

First of all, I'd like to give the questioner a big hug! I hope it helps to give the questioner some strength. From what the questioner has said, it seems like the questioner doesn't have much confidence in themselves, feels inferior, is confused, nervous and anxious, and is suffering, in a painful and confused state.

I don't know if you're aware of this, but you should be really proud that you were able to get into university! It's a huge achievement in China, where only 20% of the population can go to university.

I really hope not! I'd hate for the question asker to feel inferior after learning about this situation.

I feel like the questioner is more interested in proving himself. He wants to show that it's not your fault that your parents are getting divorced! I'd love to know more about how the father got along with the questioner during these events and how he supported the questioner.

It would be great to know whether his relationship with the questioner gives the questioner a sense of security, or whether the father is able to satisfy the questioner's need for a certain kind of affection.

From what I can see in the story, it seems like the person asking the question is looking for a sense of security and recognition. But it seems like what they're looking for hasn't brought them the good feelings they were hoping for. Instead, it's made them feel anxious and depressed. These negative emotions are getting in the way of how they're feeling and how they're acting. They're unsure of how to face the situation and unsure of how to love others. I'm here to help! I can show you how to detect and eliminate bad emotions and replace them with a positive mindset.

I truly believe that whatever challenges you're facing right now, it's going to make you stronger and more resilient in the future.

I'm really sorry, but since the question was asked on a platform, we can't communicate in detail about it. I'd love to be able to give you more advice, but I can only give you a little advice on how to deal with the negative emotions that arise:

1. Take a deep breath and identify where your anxiety is coming from.

What's making you feel anxious, sweetie? Is it worrying about studying, or maybe it's the disapproval of others, or perhaps it's the confusion and disorientation of your whole life?

This is where it gets a little tricky. It's time to start searching and perceiving carefully to find out what's affecting your anxiety. Jot these things down on paper so you can see them clearly.

It's so important to understand what's making you feel anxious and negative. Once you know what the root cause of your anxiety is, you can start to work through it. For example, you might feel like you're not good at studying because you can't compare with others.

I'd love to understand why the questioner is like this. Who gave the questioner this idea that they must be excellent? Did the questioner or their family instill this idea in the questioner?

I can see that your attitude is causing you a lot of anxiety. It's not about seeking recognition from others, is it? I sense that what you really want is to feel secure and recognised by yourself. I'm here to help you find a way to achieve that. Let's start with your studies.

It's so important to understand the root of your anxiety so you can find the right way to respond to your concerns.

2. Focus on the problem you want to solve the most.

It's totally normal to feel this way when you're lacking in self-recognition, feeling insecure, or even harboring some resentment towards your mother. It can be really challenging to know what to do next when you're feeling this way. But you've got this! You can try writing down all the things on a piece of paper and see what problems you need to solve.

Then, it would be really helpful for you to rank the importance of the things according to your own feelings to sort them out and find out which problem you want to solve the most at the moment.

Once you've identified the problem you want to solve, it's time to see if you have a way to solve it. If you can't solve it yourself, don't worry! You can always get someone to help you. Then, take a look around you to see if there are any resources that can help you solve this problem.

You can try to have a chat with someone you trust who's a bit older than you. They might be able to help you figure out how to help the person in question work through this problem. When you're feeling anxious, try not to dwell on it. Don't talk about it all the time, either. Just focus on something positive. With time, you'll get used to it and your outlook will change.

Remember, there are always more ways than there are problems!

3. Make a list of the worst possible outcomes.

What could go wrong? What's the worst thing that could happen? Write them all down and see if you have any coping strategies, or if you're really struggling to accept them.

Instead of worrying about all the what-ifs, it's a great idea to think about the worst-case scenario and come up with ways to handle it. Let's say, for instance, you're aiming for a good life. When it actually happens, you'll be able to deal with it according to your plan. That way, you'll feel less stressed and more in control.

It's so important to remember that there are always more ways than difficulties. A gentleman strives for continuous self-improvement. If you want a good result, you can only get it by constantly facing the real you and pursuing the better you.

4. Look for the positive!

Nobody's perfect, and that's okay! We all have our strengths and weaknesses. So, don't be too hard on yourself. When you catch yourself feeling down, take a moment to think of something positive.

For example, losing a game. We've all been there! It's not pleasant, but it's a great learning opportunity. You can identify what went wrong and work on new strategies for next time.

5. Don't be afraid to ask for help!

If you feel that the above methods won't work for you, don't worry! You can always seek help from a professional psychologist or counselor for psychological intervention. It's totally okay to talk about your negative emotions with these professionals. You can pour your heart out, because these interventions are confidential. Just be honest with them.

Please explain clearly how these anxiety attacks make you feel, describe how they usually start, and tell us how you respond. If you need to, we can stay in touch with these professionals until these anxiety attacks no longer affect you.

I really hope my answer helps the person who asked the question!

Good day, colleague.

When you express a desire to love the world, it is as if you are telling us:

The world is aesthetically pleasing, yet it is somewhat distant and separated from me.

I can observe it, but I am unable to interact with it.

I am eager to experience a deeper connection with this world, yet I find myself unable to do so.

Furthermore, I desire genuine affection from this world, yet it has only bestowed upon me distress and remorse.

Prior to reaching the age of one, the mother assumes the role of the primary caretaker.

When there is conflict between your mother and father, they may be unable to provide the care and stability you require, which could have a negative impact on your sense of security and wellbeing.

In the event of parental conflict, it was the grandparents' responsibility to take the child to the countryside to ensure their safety.

Fortunately, you had the support of your grandparents during this period.

Following the divorce of your parents, you resided with your father and grandparents during your tenure in primary school. The circumstances surrounding your mother's departure may have resulted in a sense of abandonment.

It is often said that a child with a mother is a treasure. This is because a mother provides her child with deeper emotions, tolerance, warmth, and tenderness.

This is a vital nutrient for a child's psychological development.

In the absence of a mother, a profound sense of loss may have resulted in feelings of profound loneliness.

As a result of this sense of loneliness, you were subjected to bullying at school.

You are experiencing a high level of frustration, but you have to comply with the situation because at that time, you don't have sufficient strength to protect yourself.

The absence of a mother also results in a lack of a suitable outlet for expressing grievances. It is akin to a child without an umbrella who is caught in the rain, with the tears flowing freely as they soak into the ground.

Upon entering junior high school, you were enrolled in an elite school. While other students were raised in supportive environments with both parents, you were the only one without both parents. This lack of parental guidance likely contributed to feelings of being unloved and low self-esteem, which in turn may have led to a reluctance to challenge the status quo.

You are driven to excel academically to prove your capabilities, yet this pursuit may inadvertently impact your cervical spine.

In addition to improper posture, the cervical spine may also be related to the connection between the individual and the elders, which in your case may be your mother.

It is clear that mechanical learning is not a satisfactory approach; no amount of effort can yield comparable results.

You have endured these years with a longing for and hatred of your mother's love. The blow of failing the college entrance exam was so great that you broke down and considered ending your life.

Fortunately, you were able to persevere.

Despite the setback and the unsatisfactory academic performance, she still proceeded with her university studies.

You finally mustered the courage to ask your mother, and were gratified to discover that she was not as hateful as you had imagined.

It is important to note that when parents engage in conflict, it is not the mother's responsibility.

It is possible that your mother's departure may be unavoidable.

On your father's side, with the grandparents' assistance, you would receive superior care.

Furthermore, if the mother were to remove you from the situation, she may be concerned that it would result in additional distress for you.

While a parent's relationship issues can have a significant impact on a child's life, remaining together solely for the benefit of the child is not a sustainable solution. It can lead to a deterioration in the well-being of both parties, ultimately resulting in a less optimal family environment.

Over the years, you have experienced a lack of control and helplessness.

You were deprived of maternal love from an early age, which has resulted in a lack of emotional fulfillment.

Without emotional involvement, regardless of one's efforts in reality, it is impossible to achieve the desired state.

While your external demeanor may appear successful and friendly, your internal state is marked by depression and anxiety.

Now, circumstances have improved somewhat, as a result of your participation in therapy and the rekindling of your relationship with your mother.

While your mother may not yet fully comprehend your situation, and you may feel that it is unfair of her to assume that you are experiencing exhaustion and a desire to flee, your relationship with her is gradually being repaired.

Should you encounter difficulties, you will be able to turn to her for support. She is a strong figure in your life, providing a reliable source of guidance and assistance. This provides a valuable outlet for compensating for the lack of parental love you experienced during your upbringing.

Despite the challenges posed by your mother's absence during your upbringing, you continue to benefit from the support of your father, grandfather, and grandmother. They have facilitated your attendance at an aristocratic school, demonstrating their commitment to your success.

Now that your mother is back in your life, it is beneficial for you.

It would be optimal if you were also undergoing psychotherapy.

During periods of leisure, I believe you will perceive the world as imbued with a sense of warmth and proximity, as if you can physically interact with it and experience its affection in return.

As previously stated.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a psychological counselor. I encourage you to relax and allow yourself to be comforted by the unconditional love of your mother.

Hello!

I'm sending you a big hug, hoping it'll make you feel warm and loved!

You shared a few short paragraphs about your growth experience, which made me a bit sad to read. Even though you focused on the negative experiences, I still saw the strength in your life. You've always studied hard, faced bullying at school with resilience, and bounced back from failing the college entrance exam to go to college.

During your two years at university, you often felt exhausted and wanted to give up, but you kept going and I saw a very strong and brave side of you.

Even though inferiority has become a way of life, and the journey has been tough, I can still see some positives in your situation. You've finally established communication and understanding with your mother, and you can tell her about your difficulties. You're able to continue taking medication, and you may be studying psychology, which has given you a deep understanding of yourself and an awareness of your own psychological defense mechanisms.

It might take a lifetime to heal from the trauma we suffered in childhood and during our formative years. I believe that you have now passed through the darkest moment of your life. You want to be loved and to love again, and to build a bright future for yourself.

Keep taking your meds to keep your anxiety and depression in check. Find a psych counselor or therapist who's a good fit for you and work with them. Talk to your mom and family members to get them on your side. If you need to, do family therapy. Medication plus psych treatment will get you on the road to recovery faster. You'll be feeling better in no time!

I hope Hongyu's reply is helpful for you, and thanks for your question!

The individual in question exhibits a number of psychological symptoms, including low self-esteem, anxiety, and confusion. Despite these challenges, they express a strong desire to love and connect with the world.

In a concise manner, it is evident that the individual in question possesses a comprehensive understanding of their own identity and a profound aspiration to establish a connection with the external world.

From childhood to adulthood, there have been setbacks along the way. A few sentences delineate a stage in life, which, when connected, form a timeline of growth to the present.

After more than ten years, those outside of her immediate circle are aware only of her professional achievements and perceive her to be affable. They are unaware of her internal experiences of inferiority, anxiety, confusion, and "anxiety and depression, moderate," which she manages through the use of medication.

"The world does not comprehend me, yet I still seek to engage with it." The fervor for the world stems from an intrinsic longing to be understood and known, accompanied by a desire to give and contribute to the world.

In light of the challenges associated with the desire to love and the inability or lack of knowledge on how to love the world, the following sharing is offered with the aim of providing support and opening up a direction for reference.

1. Prior to extending love to the world, it is recommended to cultivate self-love.

One of the symptoms of low self-esteem is a lack of satisfaction with oneself, accompanied by the perception that one is not competent in certain areas. This often manifests as a tendency to evaluate one's actions with a critical lens.

In response to the question of inferiority, the individual indicated that this was a period of significant transition, marked by their enrollment in an elite academic institution at the age of fourteen. During this pivotal phase, they perceived a deep-seated sense of inadequacy.

It is unclear what occurred during that period; however, it is conceivable that the competitive and comparative environment of the aristocratic school may have been a significant contributing factor to the initial formation and even the imprinting of inferiority.

This imprint is deeply ingrained. It is also evident that the self-perception is not an accurate reflection of reality, and that the self-image shaped by the "inferiority" filter is akin to a self-performance that is somewhat clownish in nature.

It must be acknowledged that this is not a process that can be completed in a short period of time. However, it is possible to take conscious steps to make progress. The following three strategies can be employed to remind oneself that a filter is at work:

1. Identify the thought.

In the event of another significant emotional fluctuation, such as anxiety, it is probable that the current thought is the result of the application of an inferiority filter.

Identifying these thought patterns provides the opportunity to work with them.

2. Question your thoughts.

The objective of questioning is to prompt the individual to recognize the presence of the filter and to attempt to temporarily dislodge it following its identification. To illustrate, after discerning the thought that "I will never be able to do this well" as a consequence of an inferiority complex, one might challenge this belief by recalling a previous instance where they demonstrated competence in the same endeavor. Additionally, one might consider the futility of expecting to maintain a certain level of performance indefinitely, given the inherent limitations of human capabilities.

Such questioning allows one to view oneself more objectively by seeking out counterexamples.

3. Utilize alternative concepts to facilitate the generation of alternative behaviors.

Following the questioning of one's thoughts, novel concepts may emerge. For instance, the initial thought "I am unable to accomplish this at this juncture" may be followed by the motivation to identify a method for achieving success, thereby further challenging the hypothesis of an "inferiority complex" through the experience of triumph.

The repeated removal of the filter of inferiority provides the opportunity to gain a more objective understanding of the self. Despite remaining imperfect, this understanding is a genuine and positive one. Prior to loving the world, it is essential to first love oneself.

It is recommended that individuals allow themselves the opportunity to love themselves, as this will facilitate the capacity to love the world.

2. Anxiety is a symptom of moderate depression. Sustained and systematic treatment is an effective method for alleviating the symptoms of this condition.

It is often the case that individuals are better able to comprehend and accept physical illnesses, yet frequently demonstrate a lack of objective comprehension of mental illnesses. It is encouraging to observe that the original poster is experiencing a moderate state of anxiety and depression and is undergoing continuous pharmacological treatment.

It is a source of comfort and represents a constructive process of developing a positive relationship with the world.

When an individual's physical and mental state is imbalanced, particularly when there are underlying factors such as a deficiency or disruption of neurotransmitters in the brain, it is not feasible to regulate these imbalances through sheer willpower. In such instances, it is imperative to adhere strictly to medical advice in order to overcome the current state of distress from a more objective standpoint.

3. Confusion is the dominant theme at this age and even in this era. It is a common experience for individuals to feel confused during this developmental period.

3. Confusion is the dominant theme of this age and even this era. It is a common experience for individuals to feel confused during this developmental period.

The age of second year is characterized by a developmental crisis of identity confusion, as outlined by Erikson in his eight stages of life development. During this period, young people undergo significant internal physical and psychological changes, leading to a period of rapid integration and formation in their understanding of the self and the world.

It can be argued that a certain degree of confusion is to be expected during the sophomore year. The rapid pace of change and the constant introduction of new rules and regulations have contributed to an environment of heightened uncertainty and instability.

It is advisable to allow oneself sufficient time to gain a deeper understanding of one's own self in the context of the prevailing confusion. The act of immediately settling on a definitive course of action will inevitably result in the narrowing of potential avenues and possibilities.

Furthermore, developing an affinity for a different region of the globe signifies an acceptance of ambiguity, thereby creating avenues for personal growth and fostering a broader spectrum of possibilities for the global community.

It is my hope that the aforementioned information will prove inspirational to the reader.

As a clinical psychologist, my focus is not on exploring human nature but rather on caring for the human heart. I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello, question asker!

I've read about your growth experiences and I really want to give you a big hug to show you some warmth and strength.

You mentioned that this is the second time you've shared your personal growth journey.

I think you're great. So, when was the first time?

Knowing how to face your own life and think about it is a kind of wisdom in itself.

From what you've told me about your childhood, it seems like you were a little boy who was hurt, felt inferior, and felt sorry for himself. Sometimes you were angry, sometimes you were sad, and sometimes you were anxious. You walked down the street with your head down, not really knowing where you were going. I want to hug you again.

Child, I want to tell you that everyone has insecurities. Everyone will have different struggles and different challenges at different times during their growth process. Not to mention that you have grown up in a situation where your family has undergone a lot of changes. It is normal to have such insecurities. It is just that you have not received timely counseling, allowing these insecurities to accumulate more and more, and the insecurities to accumulate continuously, and at one point it almost crushed you... Child, you really have not been easy. For so many years, you have been going through so much hardship, silently bearing so much pain...

Luckily, you've always been aware of yourself and what you want, so you'll seek help and want to live and study well.

Your greatest happiness is having reconciled with your mother, affirming her strength, and being willing to confide in her when you encounter difficulties. This is also your wisest point, and it will also enable you to promptly improve some of your negative emotions.

"I was even more self-deprecating in high school. I resented my mother for being the only one in the world who was good at everything, while I wasn't. I completely fell apart after failing the college entrance exam and almost committed suicide."

Over the past two years of university, I have often felt exhausted both physically and mentally, and I have even considered ending it all. My mother has accused me of being heartless and ruthless, but I believe this is my way of coping with a lack of love and a sense of security.

From what they've said, it seems like they've been able to identify some of the issues they're facing and why they're struggling. It's clear from their background that they've experienced a lack of love and security, which is something we can all relate to.

Everyone has their own way of dealing with challenges and difficulties.

You tend to avoid things, and it's pretty extreme. You've even said you want to die, which has led your mom to call you heartless and cruel, not just to yourself but to your family. Of course, you didn't mean to hurt anyone, you just don't want to face your own pain. Your defense mode is pretty unacceptable, but I understand your helplessness and feel your pain when it happens. Who doesn't want to live well? Just like you said in the title, "I want to love the world well."

Like many depressed patients who choose suicide because they're in extreme pain, do they really not want to live a good life? No, it's because they want to live a good life that they're unable to do so. They have no other choice but to make this choice...

Luckily, you got help when you needed it. Now in your second year of university, you're dealing with moderate anxiety and depression, and you're still taking medication. From the outside, you seem successful and friendly.

I still feel inferior, anxious, and lost, but I'm sure many of us have been in a similar state at one point or another.

Regarding your current state of "inferiority, anxiety, and confusion,"

I'd like to share my current situation with you.

I've always had anxiety and mood swings. It's just my constitution. I've had attacks before, but after active treatment and timely adjustment, I've basically recovered.

But every now and then, I still have mood swings. I've come to accept myself as I am, but I'll adjust. Just as some people with weaker constitutions are prone to catching colds, they'll pay attention to it and usually take precautions. In the same way, I'll pay attention to my emotional changes, take precautions, usually exercise more, learn more about psychology, broaden my own understanding, become more understanding and accepting of many things, and fill my heart with strength. Naturally, my anxiety and depression will become less and less...

I typically do some exercises to help reduce anxiety, such as meditation, mindfulness, and exercise.

I still have a bit of an inferiority complex, but it's not as bad as it was when I was younger. As I get older, I'm learning to deal with it better and my views on things are slowly changing. I'm starting to feel more confident...

You were also confused before: "I don't know what to do now, and I don't know what my future will be like." It's normal to feel confused when you're young. It's something we all have to face because it helps us grow.

My child, you're already in therapy and your condition is gradually improving. Since "from the outside it looks like you have achieved success and are friendly and approachable," you're really in a very good state. Although you feel inferiority, anxiety, and confusion, these are states that everyone goes through. You must believe in yourself, and you will definitely get better and better.

Have faith in your abilities! I firmly believe you will continue to improve.

I'm sure you'll keep getting better and better!

If you still have some inner conflicts in the future, you can also come to the platform to talk about them. You can also tell your story of growth for the third time, because every time you talk about it, every time you pour out your heart, it is a psychological sorting out for you, a facing of your true self, and this is your growth process.

You can also talk to a professional counselor if you want to, who can help you grow even better!

I hope my answer gives you some ideas and helps you out!

Best wishes! The world and I are rooting for you! ?

Hello, friend.

After reading your words, I have to admit that you are

You are a good student who works hard and doesn't lag behind. Many people should learn from this.

There are two giants in our hearts.

One is very positive and refuses to accept reality.

One is self-pity, being timid and afraid of things, caring too much what others think, and forgetting to love yourself.

Life is a mirror. Smile and it will smile back.

When you cry and scold in the mirror, it makes you feel worse.

A happy life is also one day, and an unhappy life is also one day. Choose to face reality happily.

You want a warm family, but wouldn't you feel oppressed in a loveless home?

Let the adults handle their business, and you just focus on studying and working hard so you can build a warm home for yourself.

Listen to "I Believe" when you feel helpless and low. You can rely on independence, self-reliance, self-confidence, self-love, and an excellent self. Other people and things are incentives or trials in life. Believe in yourself, love yourself, and come on!