What should I do if I can't stand the slightest setback and my self-control is greatly reduced?

Hello Erhu, From your question, I can tell you're going through a rough patch right now. Let me give you a hug. I hope this will help.

You say you get frustrated easily and can be depressed for a long time. This is a common problem, especially when it comes to relationships. Many people feel sad for a long time, which can affect their work or life.

It's actually pretty common for people to have this problem, but not many people are aware of it or know how to change it. So you're in the right place to learn how to recognize it and make a change. Erhu would like to give you a little praise first.

Let's talk about how to change this "overly obvious sense of frustration."

The first thing to do is to admit that it is, in fact, a setback.

Frustration is in the eye of the beholder. Some people get their knickers in a twist when they take the wrong bus and miss their stop. Others are really sensitive to rejection, while some people just can't stand unfriendly looks. What seems trivial to one group might be a huge deal to another.

So everyone has a different idea of what a setback is. What you think is a setback is a setback.

The second step is to take a look at how you're feeling when you come up against a setback.

Let's look at a rejected submission. It's a situation that frustrates everyone. So, what's the cause of the frustration? In my case, the editor didn't understand my manuscript, my ideas weren't understood, and the editor refuted my point of view.

One rejected manuscript can make a person feel a lot of different things. What was your first reaction? What's your biggest fear?

If your fear is confirmed, what does that mean?

Once you've taken a closer look at what happened, you'll understand why you felt so frustrated.

The third step is to figure out what's really behind your frustration.

We all feel bad when we experience setbacks, but if your frustration is too strong, it's probably more than just a simple setback. Does it remind you of a difficult experience in the past?

If there is, what were you thinking and doing at the time? Can you do better now?

If that doesn't work, you can learn new skills to deal with these frustrating situations.

People can learn and grow. Just because something was challenging in the past doesn't mean it's still a problem now. Identify the underlying fear and find a way to overcome it.

Next, I'd like to answer your other two questions.

"I'm going to try to remind myself that this isn't a big deal every time I have this urge next time."

I haven't tested this myself, but it should help you think about your frustration more easily. It's also useful to think about solutions when you're facing similar problems. For example, if your submission is rejected, you can think, "If it doesn't work, I'll submit it to another place, not you!"

"When I feel a little frustrated, I remind myself that I can relax, take a break, and not do anything."

This isn't a major issue, and it shouldn't happen again when your frustration level is lower.

As long as you can pinpoint the root cause of your frustration and address it, you'll find your concerns naturally dissipate. I hope you can soon find a way to escape the clutches of excessive frustration.

Dear questioner,

I felt your frustration and powerlessness. I hug the questioner, who is working hard in silence.

The questioner said that they get discouraged by setbacks and it takes a long time to recover after a self-defeating experience. During this time, things just don't go well. The questioner believes this is due to the obstacles they have set for themselves.

You're still troubled even though you've tried to calm your anxiety.

The questioner said, "I'm frustrated about everything."

"Whenever I decide it's a setback, I want to play."

The author is frustrated by the incident. This makes you need to spend more energy taking care of your own frustration.

The advice for the questioner is on how to reduce frustration.

Find security in yourself.

The questioner seems to look for external validation to confirm his own value.

But overreacting to feedback and other people's reactions can make us insecure and confused. This makes it hard for us to have confidence in ourselves.

Caring about others is good, but don't worry if you can't do it all. Treat yourself as well as others.

The real opponent is only yourself. Believe in yourself and fight for what you want.

Second, each task is a new beginning.

The questioner said that they've submitted articles online before and it's frustrating to be rejected.

Everyone has experienced failure and rejection. Nobody likes to lose. But if you're too eager to win, even a small setback can be very stressful.

We can try to be like athletes and accept failure with an open mind. Every shot is a new start.

Don't let setbacks get you down. Take a short break, then keep moving.

Third, accept setbacks.

Victory isn't always about beating the enemy. It's about knowing when to stop fighting.

If you feel negative about yourself, it's easy to get discouraged. When you feel frustrated, it can seem like a big deal. This is because we often think normal frustrations are bad.

Setbacks are normal. It's not your fault if you don't meet expectations. They're just tests. Some things may be new to you, so practice them and come back next time.

Accept setbacks and use them to grow. Then, setbacks won't seem so scary, and you can keep making progress.

May the questioner succeed in the future.

Yi Xinli and I love you.

Good day, question asker.

From your description, I understand that you are experiencing a conflict between opposing forces, accompanied by feelings of anxiety and powerlessness. Is that an accurate assessment?

Please describe the circumstances that led to this emotional state.

It is important to distinguish between a feeling and reality. Most individuals tend to perceive the positive qualities in others while focusing on their own shortcomings. It is essential to determine whether this perception is merely a subjective feeling or a genuine observation.

From your description, I am unable to discern what is confusing you. It appears that you want to let yourself down, which causes you to relax and become less self-disciplined. When you feel this way, it would be beneficial to remind yourself of any experiences or words that have given you this uncomfortable feeling before.

From your description, it appears that you are seeking an escape from your own self-perception.

It is, in fact, quite normal. Each individual is unique, and it is impossible for everyone to be the same.

It is not uncommon to experience these feelings in life. In fact, they can be viewed as a form of escape. It is important to examine closely why you used to feel this way and have this feeling.

I would like to request that you boldly perceive what he likes best. If you achieve your ideal state of life, will you be different from what you are now?

Please describe the steps you have taken to connect with these individuals.

I am unaware of the specifics of your situation, but I hope that the following tips will prove helpful in alleviating your negative mood.

First, learn to release negative emotions and accept yourself.

From your description, it is evident that you are not typically adept at assertively declining requests. It is also apparent that you stood in the doorway and stated your refusal, which subsequently led to feelings of disappointment. You have the option to release these negative emotions and eliminate them from your body, which is a highly cost-effective approach.

One method of releasing negative emotions is to engage in physical activity. For instance, one can start the day with a morning run and end it with an evening walk.

This is an emotional expression and a school of thought. Once you have learned to release negative emotions, you must then accept yourself.

Secondly, utilise positive self-talk to energise yourself.

From your description, I understand that you are experiencing a high level of negative emotions and a generally negative outlook. I recommend that you use your own mental suggestions to adjust your state of mind. This is a crucial step. We use our own mental suggestions to give ourselves inner strength and allow us to learn more. Once we have accumulated a certain amount of energy, we will encounter some emotions and will not be stuck. At this point, we will be able to take action.

It is recommended that you seek the assistance of a professional counselor. It is important to note that everyone has emotions, and this is a normal human response. However, the intensity and duration of the emotions experienced are dependent on the individual's perception of the problem. In some cases, the emotional response may be a genuine expression of authenticity, and there is no justification for an emotional breakdown. In most instances, the cause of the emotional distress is relatively minor, or may be attributed to external factors that have arisen overnight. If you require further assistance, you are encouraged to engage in more practice and to seek the insights of others.

In conclusion, it is important to note that feeling stressed is a normal human emotion. Learning to manage stress effectively is a crucial skill in today's fast-paced world. It is essential to recognize and address uncomfortable feelings, and to develop a clear understanding of one's goals, capabilities, and actions.

Asking questions is an important first step in effecting change. With perseverance, results will improve.

Good morning. My name is Wang Ying, and I am a practicing psychological counselor.

In life, individuals are often confronted with a multitude of challenges and difficulties. Frequently, the underlying causes of this fragility and the inability to overcome negative emotions remain obscure.

If we examine the difficulties we encounter with a certain degree of awareness, we will find that it is not the event itself that traps us, but rather the feelings it evokes, such as a sense of inadequacy, rejection, abandonment, betrayal, a lack of acceptance, a lack of understanding, or a lack of recognition. What is more, we tend to instinctively avoid these negative feelings. We are conditioned to seek pleasure and avoid pain, and we are afraid of confronting these difficult emotions and the painful feelings they evoke. Over time, this becomes a form of emotional inertia. We become unable to cope with minor setbacks, we become depressed, and then a series of problems continue to develop.

The question thus arises as to how emotional inertia can be overcome.

It is imperative to muster the courage to confront and acknowledge one's negative emotions. In the past, individuals were inclined to evade and conceal them due to an inherent fear of confronting them. However, it is crucial to alter this perception and recognize that negative emotions are merely transient sensations. They will inevitably emerge and dissipate, and they possess no intrinsic power to harm oneself or others. By confronting these emotions, one can emerge victorious. Conversely, by avoiding them, one may experience their recurrent visitations, causing distress. Adopting this perspective can mitigate the fear associated with negative emotions. Although this may appear straightforward, it is a challenging undertaking for those ensnared in the grip of negative emotions.

It is also important to recognise that the only person who can facilitate change is oneself. If an individual is unwilling to change, then external assistance is unlikely to be effective, as change cannot be forced upon someone else. Therefore, it is essential to develop the courage to take the initial steps towards change. When frustration arises, it is crucial to calm oneself down. This can be achieved by sitting down, taking a moment to reflect, and acknowledging one's emotions. It is important to accept these emotions and provide comfort to oneself. If venting emotions is desired, it can be cathartic to express them in a controlled manner, such as through physical movement or expressing them to a supportive individual. Learning to care for oneself and engage in self-soothing practices can be beneficial in managing emotions. Emotions can be complex and challenging to navigate. However, by facing and connecting with them, they can gradually dissipate.

It is possible to transcend negative emotions by learning to be in the moment with them. This involves developing the ability to regulate emotions, which in turn allows one to cease resisting negative emotions. This results in a state of emotional freedom, characterised by a lack of distress. When negative emotions resurface, they are experienced with less fear and more calm composure.

A further crucial point is the willingness to acknowledge the imperfections and shortcomings of the self, including a lack of self-confidence. It is essential to possess the courage to confront these negative aspects of the self. The more one is able to confront these aspects directly, acknowledge them, embrace them, and give them a legitimate place in the heart, the more one can dissolve their power and prevent them from becoming one's master.

"I am deficient in my ability to cope with setbacks. I am unable to tolerate rejection. I lack self-control. I have low self-confidence. I am unable to maintain relationships. I am distressed by rejection. I am not competent." However, these traits are also part of my identity. The world is a dualistic entity, and no individual is without flaws. I possess both positive and negative attributes. I am not obliged to deny this; if I am unable to accept it, then I am unlikely to be accepted by others.

One must choose to confront one's negative aspects directly, expose them to the light of day, accept and acknowledge them, care for them, and refrain from criticizing them. This process will lead to remarkable transformations. The negative aspects will gradually be illuminated and shine into one's heart, bringing light to one's inner being and restoring one's inner strength.

Those who suffer with awareness must constantly examine their belief systems, thought patterns, and behavior patterns that are harmful to themselves and then change them. They should read more books, talk to wisdom more, accept positive cognition to replace their old cognition, then practice, test, and finally update it as their new cognition. What is not perceived in the subconscious will become their destiny.

If one acts in accordance with one's nature and habitual patterns and is unaware of a superior alternative, it is impossible to alter one's destiny.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Wishing you well.

Hello, landlord! I really hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I really do think it's totally normal for the host to feel this way, because we're all afraid of failure, aren't we? So, when we encounter some frustrating situations, we'll want to escape, just as you said, to go play and do nothing. But as you know, in the long run, it will be difficult for us to overcome difficulties. We may even become a bit disorganized over trivial matters, which will affect our work efficiency and state of life, right?

So, how can we adjust?

I'd love to share some advice with you:

1. We can see stress and frustration as opportunities for growth.

The good news is that modern medical science has shown us that our bodies are amazing! When we view stressors as challenges rather than threats, our bodies secrete adrenaline, which gives us energy and helps us focus on solving problems. However, when we view stress as a threat that will destroy us, our cortisol levels rise, which suppresses the immune system and makes us more vulnerable to disease.

So, when you think of stress as a trauma, it can definitely harm your body. But when you think of stress as a challenge and an opportunity for growth, it won't endanger your health!

I'm giving a live lecture for the first time this year, and I have to say, it's really stressful! When you face something you've never done before, you feel an unknown anxiety and fear. But as a mental health professional, I know how to adjust myself. First, I accepted my nervousness and anxiety, and then I adjusted my perception of stress. When I saw stress as a challenge and an opportunity for growth, I found that I was no longer so afraid, but instead, I was looking forward to my first live broadcast and was eager to give it a try!

So, if we believe that stress and setbacks are harmless in themselves and see them as a game of growth, we won't get annoyed when we encounter difficulties in life or in our studies, and we won't crumble when we encounter setbacks.

Whenever you encounter a problem, try to think of at least three solutions. You've got this! With long-term practice, you will discover that setbacks are not a threat to you, but a good opportunity to "think of solutions."

2. Give yourself some positive mental suggestions and encouragement!

It's true! Subliminal messages still have a big impact on us. When we're feeling a little down, it's often because negative thoughts have taken over.

It's time to break those negative thinking patterns! Give yourself some positive suggestions and replace those old, narrow-minded, negative thoughts with some positive ones. It's a powerful technique!

We can encourage ourselves like this: everything is exactly as it should be. Even though I don't feel great right now, I can absolutely choose to feel happy. I believe I can, I believe I can overcome any challenge...

3. You can boost your psychological resilience by following the "hard things principle."

The great thing about this is that you can do it with your family or with a few friends. All you have to do is write down one thing you want to challenge yourself with for the next six months and stick it on the wall.

For example, someone might want to challenge themselves to do 50 push-ups every day, or someone else might want to challenge themselves to read 50 pages of a book every day, or someone else might want to challenge themselves to learn 50 words every day.

For example, someone might want to challenge themselves to do 50 push-ups every day; someone else might want to challenge themselves to read 50 pages of a book every day; and someone else might want to challenge themselves to learn 50 words every day.

It's totally normal to want to give up during this process. We've all been there! For example, someone might be too tired from work to exercise, someone might be too busy to find time to read, and someone might not want to add idioms to their studies because they have more important tasks that day.

But don't worry! No matter what challenges you face, it's so important to keep communicating and negotiating to find a way to overcome them.

Once the challenge is over, it's time for a celebration! We can come together to celebrate what we've achieved, how far we've come, and share our feelings. And when an activity is over, we can keep the fun going by setting new challenges!

I just wanted to share this as a helpful reference for everyone. Sending you all lots of love!

The questioner is genuine and appealing. Indeed, this is our inner world, and this is how it functions.

Gaining insight into our inner selves provides a deeper level of comprehension.

All that occurs is not without purpose. It demonstrates that these experiences are designed to foster self-awareness and understanding, enabling us to leverage our personal strengths to lead fulfilling lives.

Overall, the situation can be summarized as follows:

I am experiencing frustration.

After experiencing frustration, I must provide myself with comfort. I will allow myself to do so.

Please clarify whether this setback is, in fact, a reality.

It is possible that this is not the case.

However, I am currently unable to muster the requisite energy. My current state of health does not allow me to perform at my optimal level, and when I am not at my optimal level, I am inclined to take a break.

As you are aware, this situation arises during the course of a process such as this. Consequently, you have suggested that I have set the threshold too low and that I am subconsciously indicating to myself that I am frustrated about everything.

Even minor issues can have a significant impact on one's emotional state.

Let me take a moment to share my thoughts and perspectives.

Setbacks are an inherent part of personal growth, yet the perceptions, feelings, and concepts that emerge following such setbacks vary significantly from one individual to another.

As an example, consider the frustration that can result from the rejection of an online contribution.

The experience you described was one of rejection, which is an inherently unpleasant situation. If you are unable to establish your own inner value, you may find yourself hoping for a positive response from others.

A sense of rejection can have a detrimental impact on one's self-esteem.

It is challenging, but I must maintain my self-esteem and avoid becoming overly invested in the rejection.

There are two factors at play here: self-worth and emotional experience. Have you ever experienced a sense of low self-worth?

If this is the extent of your self-worth, then the need for external validation is a key factor in this phenomenon.

It is essential to repair the path, improve self-worth, and engage in self-affirmation. It is also vital to develop positive and affirmative experiences.

When I am on the receiving end of criticism, I experience a sense of sadness and find myself dwelling on the matter for an extended period.

As a result of changes in circumstances, I find myself in conflict with other individuals, which causes me significant discomfort and prevents me from taking action.

I would like to take this opportunity to provide some context.

Similarly, I continued to experience discomfort in both situations and felt negative emotions for an extended period.

The terms "sad" and "uncomfortable" are not concrete, but rather ambiguous. This emotional state is often the result of suppressing a multitude of emotions.

It is akin to a sense of injustice and a pervasive feeling of suppression.

For example, you may have encountered phrases such as "no" or "cannot" during your formative years, or you may have been requested to perform a task and also experienced frustration due to the inability to express your feelings.

As a result of being prevented from expressing yourself or being seen, you were unable to communicate your feelings, and you were acutely aware of your discomfort.

For an extended period, I have only encountered criticism, denial, accusations, and a series of other unfavorable sentiments. I do not find these types of interactions agreeable.

I perceived these statements as rejections, which instilled a sense of fear.

In general, such an impact may occur during periods of growth. However, the relevant information has not been provided. Based on my clinical experience, I will offer a speculation, but if it does not apply to your situation, please disregard it.

In the event of a conflict with another individual, I may experience feelings of isolation and a lack of support. Additionally, I may perceive a lack of respect.

As a result, there is no motivation to take action.

My initial response is to seek an exit, to provide myself with comfort, and to engage in leisure activities.

While playing for a while may provide a temporary sense of relief, it does not address the underlying issues that contribute to these negative emotions. Therefore, it is likely that you will continue to play, assuming that you interact with others.

While playing for a while may provide a temporary sense of relief, it does not address the underlying issues that contribute to these negative emotions. Therefore, the cycle of playing and avoiding interactions with others continues.

I will continue to encounter similar or identical circumstances, which will result in frustration. This allows me to relive the experience.

I lack self-worth, am frequently rejected, and have few avenues for self-expression.

This provides a sense of excitement, but it also establishes a pattern of behavior or a way of thinking.

As soon as I experience any form of discomfort, I take a brief period of time to engage in leisure activities.

Naturally, you are aware of the issue.

This has two consequences.

1. The action of the action has no consequence.

2. Your tolerance is diminishing.

This may be your assessment that the threshold has been set too low.

This may be your assessment, namely that the threshold has been set too low.

Naturally, if you are able to access your system program and modify the threshold, that is an alternative option.

It is also possible to reassure yourself that this is not a significant issue. It is also possible to provide yourself with positive affirmations.

It is also possible to address the emotional trauma and release the emotions associated with it.

It is also possible to enhance your sense of self-worth.

It requires a certain investment of effort and time. Please be assured that the process will be completed as quickly as possible, but we kindly request your patience.

Even the slightest setback is overwhelming, control-is-greatly-reduced-25790.html" target="_blank">self-control is severely compromised, and the underlying issue may be a form of self-abandonment resulting from a loss of control.

In a sense, this is the kind of negative thinking and emotional state that allows circumstances to spiral out of control and ultimately result in a negative outcome.

Furthermore, it is an effective method for achieving inner peace and tranquility after relinquishing control.

This is analogous to some of the points previously discussed in "Bad moods are a sign of strength."

For further information, please refer to the following URL: 摆烂,是一种能力-心理学文章-壹心理 https://www.xinli001.com/info/100482889

I am susceptible to frustration, particularly when minor issues arise, and I tend to lose self-control, which can result in actions that are contrary to my better judgment. This is particularly prevalent when I perceive the potential for conflict in interpersonal relationships.

The tendency to become easily frustrated and greatly affected by the slightest thing suggests that one may have experienced a significant number of adverse events.

Although it may appear to be a trivial matter, it is, in fact, the catalyst that precipitates a significant outcome.

The issue is not the straw itself, but rather the accumulated weight of the camel's burden.

The loss of control that occurs after a minor setback is not a result of the trivial nature of the matter in question.

Rather, it is due to the negative emotions that arise from previous setbacks.

For example, if an individual invests significant effort and performs to the best of their abilities, yet the outcome is not deemed satisfactory by the relevant parties, it raises the question of the purpose of such exertion. If the individual refrains from undertaking the task, there is no feedback; however, if they do engage, they are met with a multitude of critiques. This dynamic can be perceived as a futile endeavour, akin to working for nothing.

Therefore, acquiescence becomes the most expedient method of circumventing failure and retribution.

In interpersonal relationships, the avoidance of potential conflicts is a common coping mechanism. This is often driven by an underlying fear of confrontation and the associated negative emotions that it can elicit.

This also implies that the individual may have previously encountered a multitude of conflicts, resulting in a state of frustration.

To illustrate, I previously submitted an online article and experienced considerable frustration when it was rejected, which resulted in prolonged periods of low motivation. Similarly, when confronted with feedback that I find disagreeable, I tend to become distressed and dwell on the matter for an extended duration.

Furthermore, I experience discomfort when circumstances evolve and I am confronted with disagreements with others, and I am reluctant to take action.

The aforementioned factors, including unsuccessful online submissions, instances of being told things one does not want to hear, changes in circumstances, situations that do not align with one's expectations, and conflicts with others, can be collectively described as a lack of recognition.

A lack of recognition from others may give rise to feelings of self-doubt.

Frustration is a common emotional response to these circumstances.

This phenomenon is particularly prevalent among individuals who are highly attuned to the opinions of others and who lack a sense of self-worth.

This illustrates the desire to take the initiative in order to regain a sense of control.

For example, if my submission is accepted, if others offer praise, if circumstances align with my expectations, and if others express admiration, I am in a position of dominance and have the ability to make decisions.

Conversely, I would become the accused.

Should one attempt to resist this phenomenon, the likelihood of further loss is increased.

In such cases, relinquishing control may prove an effective means of preventing further loss.

In situations where one experiences a sense of being out of control, the desire to exert control is often a driving force.

It can be argued that the only way to avoid a sense of being out of control is to relinquish any attempts to exert control.

Therefore, the act of relinquishing control also requires a certain degree of courage.

This signifies the cessation of concern.

In particular, I have a peculiar mentality: whenever I experience a modicum of frustration, I will remind myself that I can relax, engage in leisure activities, and refrain from undertaking any significant responsibilities. I am aware that this is not the optimal course of action, yet when I resolve in my heart of hearts that this is a source of frustration, I find myself unable to resist the urge to play, and to play for an extended period of time.

Following the experience of frustration, one may feel compelled to confront the source of the difficulty directly.

However, with regard to one's actions, the opposite is true.

This can be described as a silent confrontation.

One might characterize this as a form of intrapersonal conflict.

Furthermore, the individual is engaged in a conflict with the person who previously inflicted significant negative emotions.

In this manner, one may satisfy one's own sense of joy.

This does not imply that it is inherently negative or that it should be avoided.

This confrontation may be viewed as a delayed rebellion against the instances when rebellion was warranted.

Rebellion is the sole means of facilitating growth.

It is sufficient to engage in rebellious behavior, and one will subsequently adhere to one's own volition.

I have come to recognize that my definition of frustration may be overly inclusive. In other words, I have set the threshold for frustration too low, which has led me to perceive a broader range of situations as frustrating. This has resulted in my losing my composure over relatively inconsequential matters. Consequently, I intend to train my subconscious to recognize that these situations are not as significant as I have previously perceived them to be. However, I am seeking input from this esteemed group on whether there are more effective strategies for managing frustration.

Generalizing and exaggerating setbacks represents a defensive mechanism.

In order to mitigate feelings of guilt.

Despite the perception that one's happiness is a fundamental need, feelings of guilt may still arise due to the possibility that this need was not endorsed by one's parents in the past.

The ability to perceive the amplification of frustration indicates a desire to close the net.

This is a positive indicator.

It is evident that no further advice is required, and that gradual self-adjustment is possible.

If the preceding analysis is accepted as accurate, it can be concluded that the reaction to setbacks is not as alarming as previously thought. It is therefore possible to accept and transform this reaction, thus allowing the individual to find a comfortable position from which to move forward with ease.

This concludes the presentation.

My name is Yan Guilai, and I am a practicing psychological counselor. I extend my best wishes to you.

Hello host, I'm grateful for the opportunity to answer your question. From what you've shared, it seems you may be experiencing some challenges with self-control and responding strongly to minor setbacks in life.

It is natural to feel frustrated and to seek ways to relieve this sense of worthlessness through relaxation. It is important to recognize that trivial matters in life can cause significant reactions.

It may be helpful to consider that periods of relaxation can potentially alleviate the impact of these things on you.

When people face external pressure, it can be helpful to consider that the left hand senses the pressure through the sensory organs, self-awareness, inner balance, and the strengthening or weakening of one's own immune system. This can ultimately manifest itself in our body through words or actions. Through the presentation of your information, it seems that you may unconsciously exaggerate the impact of setbacks on you in terms of perception.

It may be the case that the more options you have to face frustration alone, the weaker your social support system may become.

It might be helpful to consider that sharing your feelings with a trusted friend could help to reduce the negative impact of stressful situations. When faced with negative comments or rejections, relaxation is always a good idea, but it might also be beneficial to talk through your feelings with someone you trust. This could help to relieve your frustration and the pressure you're feeling.

In life, we will inevitably be affected by trivial matters, our emotions, and our feelings. These emotions can generate varying levels of pressure in our hearts. Having one or more ways to deal with stress can help us nourish our hearts, maintain our inner balance, and lead happier, more joyful lives.

I am grateful to have this opportunity to meet with you on this date, 1983. I extend my love and appreciation to the world and to you.

Dear Sir/Madam, After reading your description, I understand that you are troubled by this. It can be said that everyone's efforts are expected to be recognized, but this recognition includes several aspects:

Recognition by others

Recognition by those who have an expectation of it.

Society's recognition

Become your own best advocate.

Among these, the most influential is the recognition by the people who expect it, but the most important thing is to be recognized by yourself.

After reviewing your description, I believe you are concerned about the possibility of not being recognized by the individuals you anticipated.

To address this issue, you may wish to consider the following:

1. Adjust your emotions

Such comments will inevitably cause emotional distress, such as sadness or upset, which is what you are currently experiencing.

I believe you are highly skilled and your methods are highly effective. However, regardless of how sound the theory may be, it is of little value if it is not applied in practice.

Emotional Regulation: You may wish to consider venting, confiding, or coping with stress.

2. Be aware of your shortcomings.

If others provide constructive feedback, it is beneficial to reflect on whether there are areas for improvement. To do so effectively, it is important to avoid internalizing the feedback negatively.

This necessitates the ability to break free from constraints and examine things objectively.

Each of your achievements is like your own child, and you are reluctant to accept any criticism of them. However, not every achievement is perfect or without flaws.

3. Assess the person you are expecting to see if they have any limitations.

It is important to understand that the person you are expecting is also a person with seven emotions and six desires, personal limitations, and differing perceptions. Therefore, the person you are expecting, such as a contributor, may not necessarily care very much, but instead will focus on their work or even the operation of capital.

In the context of business, casualties are only a reference point. For historical purposes, casualties are not recorded, and only the gains and losses of success are noted.

4. Remain true to yourself.

What is best for you is what you should pursue. It is not necessary to be outstanding or to be recognized by everyone, but it is important to believe in yourself.

Have confidence in your thoughts and actions, and believe that they are the result of hard work and are worthwhile.

It is important to recognise that everyone is an independent individual with different ideas and perceptions. However, similar people will inevitably have some kind of empathy. Therefore, it is advisable to focus on doing your best without worrying too much about others. It should be noted that there is a phenomenon called envy, which can lead some people to belittle others.

Not regretting your actions is the greatest reward.

I would like to take this opportunity to commend you on your excellent work.

Hello!

Host:

I have carefully read the post and I'm excited to share my thoughts! From the content, I have observed that the poster mentioned that you can't stand it as soon as you encounter setbacks, and this makes you feel at a loss as to what to do. At the same time, I have also noticed that the poster has bravely faced their inner self and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help the poster to better understand and know themselves, and thus adjust themselves.

I'm really excited to share my observations and thoughts in the post! I think they'll help the original poster look at the issue from a more diverse perspective.

1. Let's explore the amazing benefits of not being able to bear setbacks!

I have carefully read the post, and there is a passage that has left a deep impression on me. It is that I have a strange mentality. Whenever I feel a little frustrated, I will remind myself that I can relax, go play, and not do any real work. I know I shouldn't, but whenever I decide in my heart that this is a frustration, I can't help but want to play, and play for a long time.

It's as if we can't bear the "benefits" that setbacks bring us because we can play and do nothing. And isn't that a wonderful thing? Human nature dictates that people seek pleasure and avoid pain. But here's the thing: although rationally we may all know that being able to handle setbacks will help us grow better, playing is probably more human nature. It's a way for us to avoid emotions, and it's a wonderful thing!

From a psychological perspective, there's a good reason why we always want to change certain behaviors but fail to do so. It's because the behavior brings us "benefits." People will only do things that benefit them. So let's explore what kind of "benefits" we cannot bear the frustration has brought us. Is it possible that it is the result of our subconscious pursuit?

This is what we need to be aware of. And we can be! By being aware, we can get out of it and gain a better understanding and knowledge of ourselves.

2. Story

In "The Body Knows the Answer," Wu tells the story of a friend of his who had recently been having a lot of problems at work. She was like a fireman every day, so she wanted Wu to help her analyze the situation and come up with some ideas.

Teacher Wu and I were both feeling the effects of our lively discussion. She asked if I felt the same way.

And she responded with a smile, "Now that you mention it, there seems to be a voice inside me saying, 'I'm tired. I'm so tired I want to rest.'"

I learned so much from our subsequent conversations! She is very competitive and has had a lot of work-related setbacks since last year. Her response to these setbacks is to refuse to admit defeat and face them with a positive attitude. But deep down, she really wants to take a break!

She just didn't want to accept the idea that she couldn't afford to relax. So a strange picture emerged: she often made rash decisions that turned out to be problematic, and that caused a lot of problems at work.

So from a psychological point of view, if you are unwilling to take the initiative to rest, then passive rest is always an option! I tell this story in the hope that it will give you some inspiration.

Now, think about why you need to "play" the kind that takes a long time! And think about what it means for you to be unable to bear setbacks.

Just think for a moment about the amazing feelings we'll have when we succeed!

And the best part is, exploring these questions will help us understand our inner selves!

3. You should definitely try learning!

Every step of our growth is an opportunity for growth! It may not be realistic to find all the answers to your life just by answering questions, but you can explore yourself more, understand the underlying logic, and this will help you in ways you never imagined!

So, what can we do for ourselves? We can learn about psychology! It will help us a lot. And if we have the resources, we can also find a professional counselor. They can help us with professional issues.

This can also help us! So, the original poster may want to give themselves more time and be more patient with their own growth.

I really hope this has been helpful and inspiring for you! If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach and enter a one-on-one chat service, which I think you'll find really helpful for exploring and growing.

One must have confidence in oneself and confront challenges directly.

Good day, question asker. I am Warm-hearted Girl 1219, and I am honored to answer your question on Yi Xinli.

From my careful reading of your description, I have discerned that you are experiencing a sense of apprehension about persisting in a task due to setbacks, and that you may be inclined to avoid the task at hand by engaging in leisure activities. It is evident that you are grappling with significant internal distress.

The following suggestions are offered for consideration:

1. It is imperative to have confidence in oneself and to meet challenges head-on.

First and foremost, it is imperative to cultivate self-assurance. One must believe in their ability to surmount every obstacle that arises.

It is imperative to possess the confidence to emerge victorious.

☀️Adversity can be likened to a spring: if one exerts pressure against it, it will lose strength; conversely, if one allows it to take hold, it will gain strength. It is not always possible to circumvent difficulties; avoidance does not guarantee the resolution of problems.

One can only become a strong person in life by drawing analogies and attempting to identify solutions to the difficulties one encounters.

2. Action is the antidote to fear.

If one merely considers a problem without taking action, it will persist. Only by confronting problems directly can they be resolved.

(1) In the event of a rejection, it is advisable to persist in submitting the work and to continue making revisions until it is accepted for publication. It is important to recognise that success in any field is rarely achieved without considerable effort and time.

(2) If an individual encounters a remark that is disagreeable, it is not necessary to dwell on the matter. The capacity to embrace a broad perspective is a crucial aspect of fostering amicable relationships.

(3) It is not uncommon for individuals to experience disagreements with others when faced with changes in circumstances. Given that everyone possesses unique perspectives, differences in opinion can often give rise to conflict. To effectively navigate such situations, it is essential to respond in a rational and accommodating manner, seeking to find common ground and resolve the conflict.

3. Cultivate a sunny mindset.

A sunny mindset is essential for finding the courage and strength to tackle problems as they arise.

Those with a sunny disposition are not deterred by adversity and challenges. They are consistently proactive and resilient, readily assuming leadership roles when needed.

Sunny friends are helpful and popular, and they have their own distinctive approach to interpersonal relationships. When others encounter difficulties that they are unable to resolve, sunny individuals are inclined to offer assistance.

This is the definition of a sunny attitude.

It is recommended that the reader peruse the pocket book entitled "Sunny Mindset."

The author of this text is Su Chunjun.

The text offers a detailed account of the psychological issues that individuals are prone to confront in their lives, accompanied by comprehensive solutions to address each problem.

It is my hope that this response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

I wish you the utmost success.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to the world and express our profound affection for you.

Setbacks are part of life. Every day, we face them. Even getting out of bed can be difficult. We may feel like staying in, but then we have to get ready for the day.

Then there's the cost of getting to work, dealing with colleagues and bosses, and for those who haven't entered the job market, there are also setbacks at school, such as papers, plagiarism checks, internships, and failing classes.

We need to face these things because we can't guarantee we'll only face easy situations. We can get caught up in difficult situations. Accepting too much pressure can make us feel uncomfortable.

If we don't regulate ourselves, the outside world can seem cruel.

You may be letting yourself go and indulging too much. We can't say for sure that this is who we are, but if there are signs of this, we need to recognize it and change it.

We can't ignore this problem. It's bad to ignore our problems or call ourselves names. Frustration makes it hard to control yourself. You feel depressed and unmotivated. You also feel like playing. If we do this every time we're frustrated,

Then we'll waste time and miss the moment when you need to do the right thing.

We must face this problem, see if it's worth your frustration, and see if you can change some of your behaviors. Can you find someone to supervise you, like your parents, friends, or teachers?

Or it may be that you still have some psychological issues that need to be addressed. You can take the Life Foundation Psychological Test to understand your personality better. Then you can also seek psychological counseling to fully understand yourself with the help of a counselor and then make a plan for change.

This will help you find a way to cope with frustration. Setbacks can help us grow. For example, when some friends play on the nightmare difficulty, opponents use various skills. This trains players. Many things are connected. We can reflect on this and cheer up.

ZQ?

Hello, I'm Liang.

Your words show you know yourself well.

You get confused when there's a conflict between work and relationships. You get frustrated and then let yourself play around, feeling overwhelmed.

Does "frustrated in doing things" mean you fail to achieve a task or goal, feel useless, lose enthusiasm for work, and procrastinate?

Here are three tips to help you deal with this:

1. Think about how you succeeded and write it down so you can do it again.

2. Start with something easy, like submitting articles. You can post them on social media to gain followers, submit them to smaller outlets, or send them to multiple publications. Someone might like your article.

3. Do what you're good at and let others ignore the things you're not. Everyone has weaknesses, and those things you won't do are no big deal!

You said it's easy to be frustrated when there are conflicts in relationships. Do you mean afraid of conflicts, not knowing how to deal with them, not knowing how to express anger, and afraid to express aggression?

To deal with this, ask yourself if the other person said it like that. Then ask one or two people who know you to ask around. If it's untrue, ignore it.

If someone pretends to care about you, they're really just trying to pry into your private life.

If you don't want to answer, he'll start moralizing. This is where you can step in. You can ask if they're wealthy and just having financial difficulties.

If they get angry, say, "You're angry, don't take it out on me. I never said I needed it from you."

You said it's strange to think that after being frustrated, you need to play for a long time. Do you think, "I've taken care of your feelings, worked hard, and set high standards, but I still can't meet your expectations. I might as well quit and play." Playing may not be bad. It's like compensation, letting go and having fun to feel better.

You also said you might be frustrated by a lot of things. You have a good way of dealing with this: "Next time you feel this way, try to tell yourself that it's not a big deal."

This approach is good. You could also say that most people feel this way but don't say it.

Best wishes!

Hello, I read your account and I admire how aware you are. You've already started to understand yourself better. You've also identified two problems: not having enough self-discipline and feeling frustrated. Let's look at the psychology behind these two problems.

Lack of self-discipline

In the book "The Neglected Child: How to Overcome Emotional Neglect in Childhood," the author writes that children who have experienced severe emotional neglect may have trouble with self-discipline as adults. When we were young, our parents may have neglected our emotional needs for various reasons. One type of parent is lax with their children, depriving them of the opportunity to practice self-discipline. The author's advice is to do three things every day that you don't want to do but must do to develop self-discipline.

Read this book to understand yourself better.

Frustration

TCM says our emotions and desires are related to the 14 meridians. Blockages in the gallbladder meridian can lead to frustration, pain, indecision, shame, and regret. If these emotions are recurring, you must learn to take responsibility and let go. The past is the past. Negative experiences are important positive lessons.

The gallbladder meridian is located at the crotch seam on both sides. Rhythmic tapping helps unblock meridians. Pain indicates blockage. While tapping, recite the following sentence:

I respect myself, even when I lose control. I accept myself.

I let go of these emotions completely, from the first time I experienced them to now. I choose to seize my power in all situations.

I'm Zhang Huili, your listening coach. You're welcome to talk to me or explore yourself. The darkness will end soon because dawn is coming. I believe everything is moving in a positive direction.

Hello, question asker. I see the confusion you are facing now, and I'm here to give you a big hug!

I'm here to tell you that what you're going through is totally normal. It's just a phase. Please, let me give you a warm hug again.

I think your current problem may be related to your upbringing, sweetheart.

I bet you can remember how your folks handled it when you first got frustrated as a kid.

I'm curious, what kind of reaction did your parents have when you got a bad grade on your first test or exam?

It's okay if you feel like you're useless or like you can't do anything right. We've all been there!

Your subconscious mind might be telling you that it's shameful or bad to experience setbacks in your studies.

If this is the case, it would be a great idea to seek help from a professional counselor.

Because you might have a bit of a distorted sense of values regarding frustration right now, a counselor can help you get back on track.

It's just a fact of life that we'll all face setbacks at some point.

So, I really think that dealing with your current view of frustration is both a symptomatic and a radical solution.

I think it would be really helpful for you to speak to a professional psychological counselor, as your current problem seems to be related to your family of origin.

I really hope the problem you're having now can be fixed soon.

I'm really sorry, but I can't think of anything more to say.

I really hope my answer was helpful and inspiring for you! I'm the respondent, and I study hard every day.

Here at Yixinli, we love you and the world loves you too! Wishing you all the best!

Hello,

I get the impression that you're feeling a bit confused, that you're trying to find a way to manage your emotions when you're frustrated, and that you have a strong desire to achieve success on your own terms.

From what you said, "Next time, whenever this happens, I will try to remind myself that it's not a big deal," I can sense that you are a very understanding person when it comes to your friends. When others are in a difficult situation, you will be the one to try to help them feel better.

I do have one concern, though. If you keep reminding yourself of this hint, it might create a new demand on yourself. If you can't meet it, you might end up attacking yourself and falling into self-blame. It's possible that reducing your burden could end up increasing it.

You mentioned that you find it difficult to resist the urge to play. From an online perspective, playing is an intriguing activity.

If the word "play" makes you feel guilty,

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether the feeling of guilt might potentially hinder our path to success.

It would be helpful to gain further awareness of how the feeling of guilt arises. Could it be a fear of going against your parents' wishes?

From what I understand from your text, I'm not quite sure I understand how you mean to understand playing for a long time.

Perhaps if we assume that it is a state of being engaged and do not limit it to being called escapism, we could generate a different perspective?

Perhaps we could try to repair the path of emotions and see the narcissism in our subconscious through self-blame.

It might be helpful to accept that narcissism is a common trait, including in yourself.

Perhaps we could say that a fresh and beautiful picture is unfolding as a result of this narcissism.

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to get to know yourself again.

It might be helpful to review the frustrating event and identify the part that gives you hope.

You may find it helpful to trust yourself and work towards achieving your goals.

I am a certified writer and listener at One Psychology, and I extend a warm greeting to you along with the three cats in my family.

I'm grateful you asked the question, and I've had the opportunity to see the responses from other users on this page as well. It's been a valuable learning experience for me, and I'm grateful to have the chance to share it with you.

Please know that I am here for you whenever you need to talk or just need someone to listen.

Hello! I'm excited to hear if you often feel anxiety/is-the-feeling-of-something-being-unauthentic-what-causes-the-panic-attack-5996.html" target="_blank">panicked and at your wit's end.

It's so great that you're sharing your experiences! It seems that these states of mind you describe are more or less common in many of us at an early stage, and even in many people nowadays, although the frequency and degree may vary. You may feel them more strongly yourself, so I can very much understand how you feel.

Many people say:

Set a goal for something, and see where it takes you!

Things didn't go according to plan, but that's okay! There were changes, and that's what makes life interesting.

Even things aren't put away according to the rules!

People around you don't agree with you and misunderstand you, but you know what? That's okay!

...

I'm sure there are lots of things people say that are similar to what you've experienced!

In these situations, it is easy to get emotional, feel awkward, angry, uncomfortable, panicky, or even furious. But don't worry! These feelings are totally normal, and they're also totally fixable.

It seems that this situation has been on your mind for a while. I'm excited to hear if anything has happened recently that you can think of to understand.

I am also very interested to know more. When this happens, do you have any physical reactions? For example, headaches, stomach aches, or discomfort in other body parts.

In addition, in interpersonal relationships, personal feelings, work or study, and other aspects of life, it may also cause you distress to varying degrees. It is very valuable that you can be aware of and reflect on this and understand it. This is something you can work on and improve!

Due to the limitations of this form of communication, I have listed a few points that come to mind. They are not absolute, but I hope they will get your creative juices flowing! From the short text, I can sense that your self-awareness and ability to perceive are quite good, and I believe it will also cause you to think and judge objectively.

1. A sense of loss of control

When our expectations of events or things do not come to pass, and things do not turn out as we had hoped, it means that they are not within our control. But that's okay! It just means that we have the opportunity to learn and grow. People feel insecure about things that are out of their control, and they will react accordingly. This is only natural.

2. Anxiety Anxiety is a fascinating topic! It's a natural response to situations that we find uncertain or challenging. Understanding anxiety can help us to manage it more effectively.

Some people have a genetic disposition for anxiety, which is also known as an anxiety system. And it's a wonderful thing! It's there to help us navigate the unknown and embrace uncertainty.

When things turn out differently than you expected, it's an opportunity to learn and grow! You might not know what to expect, but that's part of the adventure. It's natural to worry that things won't go according to plan, but that's also part of the journey. You're not in control, but that's okay because you're learning to embrace the unknown. This also applies to the first point.

3. Self-illusion Embrace your inner magic!

Are you facing a challenge where your desired outcome doesn't align with the realistic ability and limitations of the situation? It's totally normal! We all have limits, and it's part of the journey to learn what they are. The outcome might not be what you expected, but that's OK! It's not like entering an equation into a computer program and getting a corresponding result.

4. Self-esteem regulation

Inappropriate adjustment mechanisms may be used in terms of self-perception and respect. For example, when facing external threats to the heart, you may choose to self-defeat, self-deprecate, or even use others to define yourself. But there's another way! You can choose to embrace the reality of the situation and use it as an opportunity to grow.

Here's another way of looking at it: if you view yourself objectively and consider yourself to have both strengths and weaknesses, you'll be happy with your achievements even without praise from others. And if you do something wrong, you can still objectively accept advice and make your own decisions, even in the face of criticism from others!

Here's a fascinating psychological term you'll want to know: mentalization. It's the amazing ability to understand that other people think and feel differently from ourselves. Take a moment to reflect on your own thoughts and feelings.

5. Secure attachment – a sense of security!

The great news is that early secure attachment patterns also determine adult attachment patterns and form a secure personality. This means that even in the face of physical separation, disagreements, or other negative emotions, there is still a belief that the relationship can continue.

In other words, when others disagree with you or misunderstand you, it's an opportunity to show them otherwise!

6. Adaptability of coping modes This is an exciting one! It's all about how we can adapt our coping modes to suit different situations.

When a situation that bothers you arises, you may use defense mechanisms that are not adaptive. But don't worry! There are plenty of ways to overcome these. For example, you could try regression, acting out, or counteracting.

Once you've recognized that your self-attribution is unreasonable, you may be tempted to over-relax. This is also an old and unreasonable pattern that people have formed over a long period of time. But you can break free from it!

7. Irrational cognitive models of self-attribution formed through early parenting. This is a fascinating area! It's so interesting to see how our early experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves. I'd love to hear more about your early parenting experiences and how they've influenced your self-perception.

There are also old patterns that can be formed by upbringing in the original family, such as the tendency to attribute everything that goes wrong to oneself. You can recall whether as a child you had parents who were "in the habit of being overly demanding and perfectionistic," or who "blamed you for things going wrong," "accused you of not doing a good job if things didn't turn out well," "didn't allow any mistakes, not even the slightest one," or "told you that if you tried hard, you would get a good result." Sometimes parents also pass on their anxiety to the next generation: "You'd better make every mistake yourself, otherwise the consequences will be serious..."

Many of the above factors are also interrelated, and none of them is absolute or singular. I really hope you can think about this comprehensively and objectively. Because no one knows your situation better than you!

So, in view of the various possible factors, I'm excited to share a few ways to deal with them. You mentioned that you don't want to overreact to the "small mistakes" anymore and even want to tell yourself, "This is not a big deal."

This is great!

1. Change those irrational beliefs!

I would absolutely love to know more about your early growth experiences and important events! This will help me to determine what factors make you panic at the slightest setback.

When a similar situation arises again, change the perception of "self-attribution, self-defeat, and utter despair." You can learn about Ellis' ABC theory, which is really fascinating. It's not the event itself that leads to the outcome of an event, but the belief about the event. If the result is beyond "poor," it will be unimaginable and utterly terrible (it may be your unreasonable belief, find it).

A is where it all begins! It's the gateway to understanding your emotions.

B is my reaction to the situation and my perception of it.

C is the emotional response and the consequences that people face when facing this fact.

A simple reference framework:

Ø Identify the emotion (I'm panicking, depressed, angry, etc.)

Ø Soothe the part of the body that is causing physical discomfort (skip if there is none)

Ø Ask yourself courageously: What exactly am I worried or afraid of?

Ø Now for the big question: will the consequences of my fears really happen?

Ø If it happens, I can change my previous coping model and face the consequences head on!

Practice makes perfect! You'll get used to it in no time. And remember, problems don't form overnight, so don't worry about them for a second.

2. Go with the flow and do what needs to be done!

In Morita therapy, you can let things take their course and do what needs to be done. If the "small mistake" happens again, accept the consequences, let things take their course, and don't force yourself to think thoughts of "self-defeat and self-attribution." Some awareness will make it seem smaller when you see it!

Next, get out there and do other things you can do! Give yourself time to enjoy the journey.

And here's another great tip: if you relax and play excessively, you're also fighting against the belief of "self-defeat"!

3. The great news is that 80% of the things you worry about don't happen in the end! And the things you believe might happen probably do.

This may be a dialectical topic, and it may also be related to the topic of anxiety. For reference only.

The good news is that mindfulness meditation can help you live in the present moment! Most of the time, we think about the future and experience the present using past experiences, which is bound to cause some anxiety. But you can take control! Mindfulness meditation can help you live in the present moment.

You have a strong sense of self-awareness and introspection about events, and you also think about positive self-suggestion. Due to the limitations of communication, my profession also requires continuous improvement, so I don't know if the above can be of some help to you. But I'm sure it will be!

You have a strong sense of self-awareness and introspection about events, and you also think about positive self-suggestion. Due to the limitations of communication, my profession also requires continuous improvement, so I don't know if the above can be of some help to you. But I'm sure it will be!

If you want to gain a deeper understanding of yourself, you can also consider long-term counseling, which could be a great option for you!

Disturbances are not formed in one day, nor can they be solved in one go. But you can do it! Give yourself some time, believe that change will happen, and you will become an expert and master of your own life.

My name is Yi Fei, and I'm thrilled to be your micro-learning educator! Thank you so much for your trust.