Why does happiness seem to become more elusive as we grow older in university?

Dear poster, You are not alone in feeling this way. As we get older, it seems that it becomes more and more difficult to find that simple joy.

This doesn't mean you're any less happy. It just means your definition and expectations of happiness have changed.

In junior high school, you nailed the long jump in the corner of the school, and that feeling of freedom made you very happy. In high school, you crushed it in penalty kick with friends, and that simple competition and friendship also made you feel incredibly happy.

Your pursuit of happiness is more specific and complicated nowadays, and that's a natural part of growing up.

To rediscover that simple joy, you must try some new methods. First, you need to slow down the pace of life and give yourself some time alone to enjoy those simple but beautiful moments.

For example, on a sunny afternoon, find a quiet corner, brew a cup of fragrant coffee, and quietly read a good book, soaking up the wisdom and beauty within. These moments will help you rediscover the simple joys in life.

Next, pay attention to the little blessings in life. Happiness doesn't come from doing great things. It comes from ordinary, heartwarming moments.

For example, you might see a blooming flower on the way home or suddenly receive a greeting from a long-lost friend. These small blessings can nourish and warm your heart.

Share your happiness with those around you. Having meals, going on trips, or participating in fun activities with friends will make you feel happier and more fulfilled.

Help those in need. It will make you happy to see their smiles and gratitude.

I am going to give you some specific advice on the treatment of bipolar disorder. First and foremost, you must always take your medication and follow the doctor's advice.

You should also consider psychotherapy, such as cognitive behavioral therapy or psychodynamic therapy, which can help you better understand and manage your emotions. It is also important to establish a stable social support network.

Stay in touch with your friends and family. Share your feelings and needs with them. They will be a valuable source of support for you.

You must never forget to give yourself some love and care. You are a unique being, and your value and meaning do not depend solely on your achievements and performance.

Believe in your strength and value. Pursue your dreams and goals with courage. Accept your imperfections and vulnerabilities. They are the driving forces behind your growth and progress.

Dear questioner, I am certain that these suggestions will be helpful to you. You will find your own happiness and satisfaction in the days to come, and live a happy and fulfilling life.

You've got this!

Hello, question owner.

You're confused. Let me explain. In junior high school, I was happy just practicing long jump alone in the corner of the school. The shoes were the white cloth shoes required by the school, and the track was faded, no one cared.

There's no flexible ruler to measure how far you've jumped. In high school, I was happy to find a classmate to be the goalkeeper and kick penalty kicks.

The grass is patchy and bald. Now that I'm in college, I have to wear Diadora running shoes and tights, and step on the plastic track on the playground. I have to feel the rebound, shock absorption, and lightness, and feel like flying. I'm only a little happy when I pass a few people and accomplish my goal.

I laugh a lot, but I don't feel happy anymore. I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder in 2021 and I take my medication consistently to this day.

Hello, Happiness is generated when our goals are achieved. You are correct in noting that I feel happy when I surpass others and achieve my small goals.

You found happiness, but it isn't as happy as before.

Your goals were easy to achieve in the past. Take having a nice lunch today, for example, or getting a little praise from your parents. When goals are easy to achieve, there are more things to be happy about.

As you get older, your goals will be higher, more difficult, and harder to achieve. This will make it harder to be happy.

You need to adjust your expectations. Lowering your goals is the answer.

Lowering your goals does not mean being less demanding on yourself. You can lower your goals and make small steps forward. For example, if you set a daily goal, after a period of time, these small goals will accumulate into a big goal. When you achieve these small goals every day, you will be a little happier.

That's all for now. The world and I love you.

Hello, my name is Zeyu, and I'm so happy to be here with you all today!

The truth is, what we really need is a change in our mentality, not happiness.

It's a common feeling, isn't it? You're in college, and you're wondering why it's becoming more and more difficult to be happy as you get older. It's not just that we're getting older, but there are so many other things that are growing too. And it's like happiness is constantly being diluted in the process.

In junior high school, we were happy doing long jump practice. In high school, it was being the goalkeeper. In college, it became outperforming others. These three periods correspond to different mindsets, and the definition of happiness differs with each mindset.

If we want to have a happy experience, it's important to free ourselves from broad definitions and various artificial barriers. What these barriers are depends on what goals or tasks we have set for ourselves. Once we did what we liked without distraction, concentrating on one thing and experiencing happiness from it, but now we get happiness by setting goals and then achieving transcendence. This kind of happiness is essentially about outdoing others and comes with too many conditions.

Happiness is something we create for ourselves, and it's up to us to decide what kind of happiness we want to experience and to what extent. There are so many factors in the current social environment that can make us happy, but this also raises our psychological price, making happiness more and more difficult and costly. We may be happy to hear a joke once, and we may still accept hearing it a second time, but if we hear it a hundred times, we may be punched in the face. The reality we are experiencing is similar.

If you want to make yourself happy, it's so important to find things that can bring you the experience of flow. This way, you can gain a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction in the process of doing them. And if you do the things you really love, you can feel and experience happiness again!

Good day. I am a heart exploration coach, Gu Daoxi Fengshou Slender Donkey.

The adage "only children want to grow up quickly" is illustrative of the discrepancy between the relatively simple and uniform requirements of student life in the adult world and the subsequent series of identity transformations and challenges that arise in adulthood.

As children mature, their parents will cease to offer justifications such as "he's just a child" when they make mistakes or encounter difficulties. Instead, they will provide guidance, such as "you've grown up now, it's time to work hard," and so on. This will result in a heightened sense of pressure.

The happiness of children is, to some extent, compromised by their parents. The more involved parents become, the more they gain a sense of parenthood. Parents who gain a sense of parenthood may unintentionally pass on this anxiety to their children. When we were young, we were more aware of things than we are now; when we were older, we compared ourselves with our peers' grades, jobs, and partners. We feel pressure everywhere. This kind of unhappiness is not exclusive to the original poster, but is experienced by the vast majority of people.

The questioner may wish to consider attempting to identify the underlying emotion.

One might inquire as to the underlying cause of the gradual onset of unhappiness that is often observed during the course of one's maturation. Attempting to discern the root cause of this phenomenon may prove beneficial in facilitating a more optimal adaptation to the circumstances.

It is important to recognize that humans are not machines and require rest and adjustment. Emotions serve as a barometer for mental health. When an individual is depressed, it may indicate that something is amiss and in need of attention. Those who are perpetually optimistic may also be experiencing a deviation from a normal state of mind. Fluctuations in mood may be a more typical occurrence.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether your current life goals are more ambitious than those you held as a child. When there is a discrepancy between one's ideal self and one's actual self, it can lead to feelings of discontent.

One might inquire as to whether one's primary concern is the image one projects to others. Adler posited that interpersonal relationships are the root of all difficulties.

A reduction in concern for the feelings of others may result in a greater sense of ease.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: Courage to be Disliked, Embracing Your Inner Child, and Maybe You Should Talk to Someone.

I wish you the best of success in your endeavors.

Hello! Your question reminded me of a fascinating U-shaped graph of happiness surveys from around the world that a friend forwarded a few days ago.

In most countries, people's sense of happiness and joy changes with age in a U-shaped pattern, starting from childhood and gradually decreasing until midlife (forties and fifties), reaching a low point, then rebounding and rising all the way up. Isn't it interesting how this works? In China, too, we often hear people say that, apart from children, the happiest people seem to be retirees.

I think this trend is related to our socialization requirements. When we are young, our lives are very simple, and our minds are not developed to the point where we can handle complex situations. Our main activity is to seek happiness, and that's okay!

As we grow older, though, we tend to get a bit lost along the way. Our families and schools prepare us to become "social beings" and prepare for society. We start to focus more and more on external recognition, a sense of achievement, and self-worth. We forget about the pursuit of simple happiness. I totally get it! Now, you only feel happy when you wear specific running gear and achieve your goals.

It's also worth noting that during adolescence, due to the influence of physical and mental development, the psychological state is prone to fluctuations. Adolescents feel unprecedented challenges and pressures, which can also inhibit the experience of happiness.

As we get older, our emotional regulation skills change. This is totally normal! We mobilize more mental resources to deal with negative or complex emotions, which may also reduce our sensitivity to simple happiness. External information, feedback, and other people's opinions can sometimes feel a bit draining, keeping us on alert or in a state of tension, which can also hinder the feeling of happiness (we know that happiness is often associated with relaxation).

We've chatted about so many common things, but I just wanted to say that you can also choose to feel happy. Look after your body and mind, accept yourself, and embrace the fact that you're an imperfect but still growing ordinary person. That's the foundation for happiness!

In your everyday life, make sure you take the time to appreciate the beauty of nature and humanity. Even though there are challenges in society, there is always beauty to be seen in life. This will help you create positive experiences!

And remember, happiness doesn't have to be a big, overwhelming emotion. Sometimes, a sense of calm and contentment is all it takes to feel happy.

As we get older, we can discover new forms of happiness.

It's clear that you're feeling a lot of things right now. It's normal to feel this way as you grow older and your life changes. Your idea of happiness is likely to change a lot too.

In junior high school, you probably found happiness in simple self-challenges and self-improvement. Maybe you practiced long jump by yourself and enjoyed the joy of self-improvement and growth. In high school, you likely experienced the joy of friendship and competition through interactions with your classmates. You might have played penalty kicks with them.

In college, you might focus more on the quality of your sports equipment and environment, looking for ways to train more efficiently and get better results.

You also said you laugh a lot now, but don't feel happy. This might be because as you get older, the pressures and challenges you face increase, which can change how you perceive happiness.

On top of that, social media and the culture of comparison can make you focus too much on what others think, which can make it harder to pay attention to your own feelings.

To find that pure joy again, you can try to get back to basics and focus on your own growth and progress, rather than getting caught up in external evaluation and recognition. At the same time, you can also try to build stronger connections with the people around you and cultivate a sense of true friendship and belonging.

Above all, keep an eye on how you're feeling, be grateful, and make the most of every lovely moment in life.

Hello, classmate. I can see the confusion you are facing right now, but I can help you with that.

I understand your question fully.

I have a son at home who will soon be 18 months old.

After eating every day, he is all smiles and extremely happy.

The childminder feeds him, and he is happy.

But as we get older, we realize that happiness is not easy to achieve.

There are more responsibilities to face.

At work, he is an employee. At home, he is a husband and a father.

As responsibilities increase, so do the challenges that come with them.

Let me be clear: raising children is not something you do alone.

Ask your husband to help out a bit.

You are a student, and the examples I have given above may not apply to you.

Narrow down the scope of the task you need to do.

Narrowing down the scope makes it easier to achieve your goal.

You can reach your goals if you aim high.

You will be very happy when you achieve your goal.

You will find an effective solution to the problem you are facing soon.

That's all I can think of.

I am the answer, and I study hard every day. I hope my above answers are helpful and inspiring to you.

Here at Yixinli, we love you. Best wishes!

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