18-year-old male, preparing for the college entrance exam, I find that I am very lazy, how can I change myself?

Hello, my name is Xin'an Zhiwu.

You are preparing for the college entrance exam. After facing challenges in achieving your academic goals due to your math grades, it seems that your enthusiasm for learning has shifted. You have developed a less positive attitude towards school, you are less focused on your grades, and you are experiencing a sense of discouragement.

From what I can gather from the text, it seems there may be some inner frustration, feelings of defeat, and perhaps even a sense of hopelessness.

"After I came to understand that pursuing my original dream (to study science and engineering for the benefit of the country) would be challenging, particularly given my struggles with mathematics, I realized that I needed to work on my motivation."

I'm not sure I fully understand what it means to study science and engineering for the benefit of the country. Could you please clarify whether it means that you have to be good at math?

Could your poor math performance be a result of your excellent physics and chemistry grades, or might it be so poor that it will seriously drag down your college entrance exam scores?

It is not uncommon for a student with excellent grades in physics and chemistry to also excel in mathematics. I am curious as to why you have developed such a clear dichotomy. Has this always been the case, or has it recently emerged?

It appears that after you experienced some discouragement regarding your pursuit of science and engineering for the betterment of the country, you may have encountered some challenges in maintaining your enthusiasm for learning, interest in school, and focus on your academic performance.

Could I ask whether your decision to study science and engineering is your own idea or your parents'? If it is your idea, might I also inquire as to your parents' attitude?

I wonder if they understand and support you. If it is your parents' wish, I would be interested to hear your thoughts and feelings on the matter.

Could I ask you to think back to how your parents treated you when you were young? I'm wondering if you felt understood, supported, encouraged, accepted and loved.

Or perhaps you feel like you are not being affirmed, not being seen, and not being cared for?

Could you please describe your parents' attitude when you were at home watching videos? What were your thoughts and feelings at the time?

In the description, the introverted and sensitive person may be experiencing feelings of depression, hopelessness, and a lack of interest in activities that were previously enjoyable.

As previously discussed, you are experiencing feelings of fatigue and a lack of motivation, as well as a tendency to daydream and lose concentration. Have you noticed any changes in your weight? Would you be open to going out and engaging with others?

Would you be open to communicating with others? When you realize that there is no hope for serving the country through science and technology, do you experience feelings of self-reproach, guilt, or even hatred towards yourself?

If you don't mind sharing, are you currently experiencing any physical discomfort?

Could I ask how long this situation has been going on for? Have you tried to do anything to help yourself feel better during this time?

After considering the above questions, you may wish to consider seeking help from a psychologist. They can help you explore your innermost feelings and true expectations through systematic and in-depth discussions and reflections using professional psychological skills.

It may be helpful to consider the possibility that there is a part of you residing in the depths of your heart, longing for recognition and acceptance. You may wish to extend a gesture of solidarity and assurance, reassuring this inner self that it is not alone and that you are present to offer understanding, support, encouragement, tolerance, and love. This gesture could be a way of affirming your worth and deservingness, and of expressing your hope for a life filled with positive experiences.

An 18-year-old boy is preparing for the college entrance exam. He often feels tired and overwhelmed during school days, and he enjoys daydreaming. He sometimes finds it challenging to complete his homework, and he tends to feel anxious about questions he is unsure of the answers to. He has a somewhat negative perception of school and sometimes engages in fishing during class.

He enjoys relaxing at home and can spend the entire day watching videos. He lacks motivation to study and does not prioritize his academic performance.

Additionally, he struggles with an introverted and sensitive personality, which can contribute to feelings of depression and hopelessness.

I believe that we can all agree that this is a challenging situation.

Hello!

After reading about your situation, I can relate to what you're going through. Senior year is a great time, but it can also be tough. I often felt overwhelmed and like I couldn't keep up. I'd like to share some of my experiences and views with you.

Regarding your comment about your struggles with mathematics, I can say that this is a challenge many students, including me, face. Mathematics is a crucial stepping stone to the college entrance exam. Many people have warned me about the importance of mathematics, but I've found it challenging to learn. I often find myself caught in a cycle of wanting to learn but being unable to do so, and then wanting to learn but not being able to. However, there's a good chance to improve your relatively poor grades in your third year of high school. We're not asking for big changes, just small improvements. This is also a way to motivate you to learn. Every time you ask yourself to improve by 10 points or 15 points, believe me, such progress in your third year of high school will definitely restore your confidence and motivation.

Skipping class, going home to play with your phone, and not doing your homework is exactly what I was doing at the time. Especially when the epidemic began in the third year of high school, the online class life for nearly half a year completely sapped my motivation to study. I was in a state of complete disarray, hoping that one day I would suddenly understand and fall in love with learning. As it turned out, you can't just wait for that day to come. At that time, my method was to try my best to complete my learning goals at school, including review goals, and I could indeed choose to give up some subjects. At this time, you understand even better what you need to strengthen, and I believe that your teachers can also understand your actions.

Regarding being an introvert, it's important to remember that everyone will change a lot after leaving high school. Don't worry about the future because of the present. Besides, who among the seniors in their third year of high school isn't a little crazy? If you don't work hard, you won't make it to your third year of high school. This will be a period of time that you will still miss after you go to university, enter society, and start a family. Let's talk about it to make it more meaningful!

Hello question asker!

High school students are tired and stressed. You've realized your initial dream can't be realized, so you want to avoid the problem. But avoiding it has caused you to feel depressed and hopeless. Hugs!

I was impressed to read that you want to serve the country through science and engineering. You must have been very bright and ambitious before your senior year. You didn't just want to get into college, but to serve the country. This is a very big heart! I usually think that you must have studied hard in the past.

I don't know how bad your math is, but since you're good at science, I think it's unlikely that it's bad enough to fail an exam. You should still have a basic foundation in math.

There are still six months until the college entrance exam, and math is in the review stage. It should have been reviewed since the first year of high school! You can still fill in the gaps.

You're being too pessimistic. The future is full of possibilities. How we deal with them is key.

How should we spend the next few months? Let me share my views!

First, understand your dream.

What was your original dream? How far are you from it now?

Is math the reason you think you're failing to achieve your original dream? The college entrance exam looks at your overall performance!

Your classmates have their own problems with favoritism. You can't develop in a balanced way. This moment won't affect the possibility of your initial dream.

Secondly, this subject cannot affect your original dream. You want to serve the country through science and technology, which means you may be weak in mathematics. But there are many schools, and every school will have science and technology. We can still learn science and technology well at any school. As long as we learn this subject well, we can serve the country.

There's still more than half a year left. We can improve our math. It's easy to improve math in six months. We just have to grasp the basics. The basic score accounts for a lot in the college entrance exam! If there are 150 points, a basic score of 60 points is fine. After several rounds of review, the math score will slowly increase.

Believe in yourself. You can do it. It may be hard, but you can do it. Start with math. Get 30 points now, then try to get 5 more next time. There are more exams in the third year of high school. Some schools have exams every day. If you make mistakes, don't worry. Learn the simplest thing you got wrong and start with the basics. Believe in yourself. You can do it!

Start with the weakest subject, math! Use the time you spend daydreaming and zoning out in school to learn the most basic math, and use the time you spend watching videos and playing games at home to learn math on your phone. You won't be able to do it. For the easy math, you can learn from online videos. I believe that as long as you are determined to change, coming here to ask questions has already proved that you have made a great determination to change. Next year, your dream university will definitely accept you and make your wish to serve your country come true.

Fight hard, students! The world and I love you!

Dear Sir/Madam, After reading your description, I can discern the distress and helplessness you are currently experiencing.

Nevertheless, in your particular situation, you may wish to consider the following:

1. The subject is currently experiencing a bottleneck. For example, at this particular stage, the subject may be experiencing a lack of interest in learning, a sense of worthlessness, and a lack of clear goals.

Given your previous experience of successful study, the lack of an appropriate intervention during this bottleneck period may have significant long-term consequences.

It is important to note that this is not a period in which significant distress is warranted. Once this stage has been completed, it is anticipated that a more positive version of the individual will emerge.

3. Should one be unable to control one's behavior, should it persist over an extended period, should one's thought processes deviate from reality, and should one's sleep be disrupted, it would be prudent to take note.

In the subsequent period, the following strategies may be employed:

1. It is advisable to focus on a single objective, such as academic study. It is beneficial to set a goal for oneself in the context of one's studies, such as the mastery of specific knowledge points, the recitation of particular articles, or the review of past examinations.

2. It is essential to possess a certain degree of self-discipline. When confronted with a significant challenge, it is crucial to reinforce one's resolve and fortify one's convictions.

It is therefore recommended that your attention be focused on the task of studying. Should you be unable to do so, it would be prudent to avoid expending your energy and time on activities other than studying.

3. Your ideal is commendable. If I were to assert that mathematics is a relatively straightforward field, you might perceive this as an exaggeration. However, mathematics serves as the foundational discipline for numerous other academic pursuits.

Furthermore, the realization of any ideal is likely to encounter numerous challenges. If success were easily attainable, it would not be a genuine form of success.

The precise definition of true success is elusive. However, it is possible to posit that if an individual's performance exceeds that of 80% of their peers in a given field, they may be considered to have achieved a moderate level of success.

One must not fear difficulties; one must, however, avoid self-abandonment.

4. It is essential to plan ahead. This planning should extend beyond one's study tasks to encompass the optimization of limited personal capital, including time, energy, space, and willpower.

Situations of senseless waste require one's attention.

5. A decision that will not be regretted. One must accept the consequences of any action or thought that one has initiated oneself.

Ultimately, it is the individual who must bear the consequences of their actions. Therefore, it is prudent to consider the value and potential consequences of any decision, even when others offer advice.

I wish you the best of luck!

Dear, I am writing to you today to tell you that you can do it. You have the power within you to achieve anything you set your mind to. I know you have faced difficulties along the way

From your description, it's clear you're a strong student who has faced challenges in the past. You've shown resilience in the face of difficulties and a determination to keep moving forward, even when it's been tough.

You must understand that learning is not just about gathering knowledge; it's also about testing your limits and discovering your own unique style. Don't blindly follow the crowd or label yourself too quickly.

Your various performances are not due to laziness. They are the result of an adjustment between your position and your goals, which can be made more personalized.

First of all, congratulations on finding your own direction, "serving the country through science and technology," and having corresponding strengths and specialties. Physics and chemistry are good. The original poster's conclusion that the goal is difficult to achieve is misguided.

Know this: there's a gap between your goal and reality. That's where the challenge and overcoming begin. It's like a game. To pass a level, you have to fight on the field, not just read strategies. You have to be online for the whole process, even if someone else is playing.

Games are addictive because the level settings are precisely progressive. The difficulty does not suddenly increase from beginner to expert.

The same applies to our goals in pursuing an education. We must establish the goal of serving the country through science and technology and pursue it actively in both thought and action. Enthusiasm is not enough. We must actively accept and agree with the goal in our hearts. Only then will we be inspired to face the various difficulties that lie ahead with enthusiasm and persistence.

You will face difficulties, but you can overcome them. When setting goals, break them down into smaller, more manageable tasks. This not only makes progress more achievable, but it also enhances the sense of accomplishment you get from overcoming the difficulties along the way.

The more specific and detailed your goal setting is, the more comparable it will be when you achieve it. However, if you associate it with your current unsatisfactory math grades and label yourself, you're setting yourself up for failure. When you see that the game level is above 70 and you're still in the first game, you'll actually fail to send out moves quickly enough when it's your turn. Would you just give up and say that the game is not fun? No, you'd practice your hand speed, then increase your level and accumulate equipment.

Don't let others label you negatively. Don't let them imply that you're lazy. You have the desire to improve, and you will improve. You will reach the mountain peak in your heart. You will succeed. You just need to adjust your goals and pace.

Good day.

I have carefully read the entire exposition, and I am moved by the beauty of this dream. I perceive a lack of a "spirit of giving" among modern young people, in comparison to the older generation. The necessity for individual survival does not inherently require that one repay others. Thus, people with a spirit of giving possess a unique perspective compared to ordinary people. This pioneering spirit enables them to persistently move forward. However, when they encounter obstacles, they may experience a range of negative emotions, including anger, powerlessness, and disappointment.

In light of these considerations, it can be proposed that life is a process of experience. The question of how to make this process of experience more meaningful has become a benchmark for people to find themselves and their direction.

When one's emotional state is consistently positive, it can be said that one is deriving genuine enjoyment from the activity in which one is engaged. As a result of this positive emotional state, one will possess the motivation and resilience to overcome adversity and setbacks. The ongoing accumulation of experience will dissipate negative emotions and facilitate personal growth.

However, there are instances when our endeavors prove inadequate to satisfy our intrinsic requirements, leading to a heightened sense of dissonance between our emotional state and our fundamental needs. Anger, irritability, and a proclivity towards sudden anger are among the emotional experiences that may manifest in such circumstances. There are objective factors that contribute to the inability of our efforts to fulfill our needs, and there are also subjective factors that influence the extent of this impact. Nevertheless, it is imperative for us to strive assiduously to tranquilize our emotions and to concentrate on the positive aspects of our situation if we are to achieve a breakthrough. The greater our hope, the greater the probability of success.

Upon recognizing the inherent challenges in pursuing my initial aspiration of serving the nation through science and technology—despite my proficiency in physics and chemistry—I came to understand that I was inclined towards laziness. During my academic tenure, I frequently experienced fatigue and lethargy, exhibited a proclivity for daydreaming, and even evinced reluctance towards assignments that I was unable to complete. Additionally, I was apprehensive about answering questions for which I lacked the requisite knowledge and was disinclined to do so. I harbored a profound disdain for the educational institution and would often engage in angling during class hours.

I enjoy self-indulgence at home and can spend the entire day watching videos. I lack motivation to study and am indifferent about my ranking.

The questioner's aspiration is to "serve the country through science and technology," and this is the essence of achieving that aspiration. The longer one holds on to such an aspiration, the more challenging it is to relinquish it when confronted with insurmountable obstacles. The principle of energy balance also necessitates a period of emotional stabilization, rather than disregarding or neglecting the low-pressure phases of emotions. When one undergoes the "necessary emotional rest period," one can gradually emerge from the emotional decline. The transformation from such an experience is that one gains a deeper understanding of objective things, a sound personality, and becomes a mature individual.

Upon emerging from a period of emotional distress, it becomes evident that the windows of opportunity have not been entirely closed. The feeling of desperation can be attributed to the inability to accurately recognize and understand one's own self before. From the perspective of "serving the country," it is important to note that realizing one's self-worth does not necessarily entail pursuing a specific channel. For instance, if one is not as proficient in "mathematics" as desired, it does not necessarily preclude the possibility of furthering one's studies through the college entrance examination. Instead, knowledge in science and engineering can prove invaluable in excelling in one's future career and completing tasks. This, in turn, can be perceived as a form of repayment to the country. Furthermore, an expanded interpretation of "serving the country" reveals that individuals in our immediate vicinity are engaged in activities that align with this concept on a daily basis. As long as their actions do not infringe upon the rights of others, they are autonomous, and they strive to actualize their inherent value, they are, in essence, radiating a kind of brilliance. This realization fosters a deeper sense of empathy.

An excessive number of concerns can impede one's sense of freedom. Additionally, the inquirer is only 18 years of age, and mathematics is not an insurmountable challenge. At one time, many of us also exhibited a preference for specific subjects. Through our own efforts, we were able to elevate our overall average scores. This unchanging initial aspiration has resulted in favorable outcomes and a deeper comprehension of objective conditions, which has led to advancement.

It is essential to maintain composure and dedicate oneself to self-improvement.

It is essential to have confidence in one's abilities and to possess the ability to regulate one's emotions effectively. This will enable one to overcome obstacles more effectively.

I wish you the utmost success and encourage you to persevere in your endeavors.

Dear questioner, I would like to express my sincere admiration for your aspiration to "serve the country through science and engineering," as described in your message. It is not often that one encounters such pure and positive intentions in a world often driven by material desires.

Could I ask you to consider what might be the root cause of your frustration? Is it perhaps the lack of opportunities, or perhaps your poor performance in mathematics? I hope you don't mind me asking.

Could I ask you to consider what serving your country really means to you? Is it about being accepted?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you would feel more recognized or appreciated in this situation.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether you are seeking praise or respect.

If you feel the need to serve your country in order to gain acceptance, you may find yourself seeking attention from others, whether positive or negative. It's possible that you've developed a talent for attracting attention in your life. Perhaps you excel in physics and chemistry, and you're fortunate to be attractive, which has led to positive attention.

One way to attract negative attention is to receive criticism by getting sick, complaining, being sarcastic, being emotional, or being perceived as a failure.

Frustration can lead to feelings of doubt and helplessness. Let's explore ways to manage frustration more effectively.

Emotions arise from our internal belief systems. Being bad at math makes you feel a deep sense of failure. When you feel this way, it's important to reflect on the beliefs that may be influencing your self-perception. Could it be that you believe you're not good enough, not clever enough, not beautiful enough, or not valuable enough?

"I shouldn't be successful." Is that true? You say you're good at physics and chemistry. How did you manage that?

If you aspire to serve your country through science and engineering, which science and engineering schools might be a good fit for you? As far as I'm aware, in addition to the 985 and 211 universities, the first-tier universities, and the second- and third-tier universities that offer science and engineering programs, there are also other options. Many third-tier science and engineering graduates have achieved success through self-improvement, continuing to enhance their skills by taking postgraduate entrance exams and pursuing doctorates.

Could I perhaps inquire as to which undergraduate line you believe you might be able to achieve with your current grades?

If you would like to improve your math grades, could you please let me know what score you would need to achieve in math to make your dream come true?

Could you please let me know how many points your current math grade is from your goal?

If I may suggest, let's use the short-focus technique to begin working towards the goal of improving your math grades.

Imagine that you go back to your dormitory tonight to sleep, and then you wake up tomorrow morning, and all the problems that bothered you today have disappeared. In your dream, a fairy godmother gives you a book with no words in it that can improve your math grades. What would you do when you wake up? Perhaps you would consider giving other students who are not good at math extra lessons.

Would you say that you have a more positive opinion of your math teacher now?

If we assume that your current score is 30 points away from your goal, how would you evaluate your confidence? If you scored 10 points, it would seem that improving by 30 points would not be a problem at all. If you scored 1 point, how confident would you say you are now?

Please feel free to share any exceptions you may have discovered.

How do you typically approach studying complex concepts and remembering complex molecular formulas when you study physical chemistry? What good study habits do you have that you don't currently use in mathematics?

Could you please describe the differences between your relationships with your physics and chemistry teachers and your relationship with your math teacher?

Could I suggest that we look at ways of boosting confidence?

Could you kindly share what happened that boosted your confidence in learning math? Do you think there's something you could do today to change your confidence in learning math?

You might like to consider making small changes today, and then we can review the situation in a few days' time to see how things are going.

I am a psychological counselor, Zhang Huili, and I am happy to listen to you and help you discover your inner gifts and potential.