24, first love, know nothing, what to do?

Hello, question asker!

It's a bummer to break up with a lover, and even more of a bummer to be cheated on. It's tough to take, so give yourself a warm hug first!

It hurts when the other person treats you this way, but you know what? It's totally normal to feel sad and angry.

You tried to express your emotions, and this approach can temporarily relieve your emotions.

Next, we get to accept this emotion, even if it is painful. You may be in a lot of pain during this time, but guess what? It will get better!

And I really like him! He's not handsome, he doesn't have money, and his job has no future, but he gives me a sense of security when I'm with him.

When you like someone, it's amazing how much less you pay attention to their appearance, money, or career. He brings you a sense of security, which makes you very attracted to him and satisfies you!

This is a great sign! It means you may just need to build up your sense of security. Many of his actions make you feel secure, so you've already got the right idea.

When you calm down, you can listen to the voice inside you, what you need, and what you need to do to be satisfied with yourself. And you will be!

When you learn to bring yourself security, it's like the relationship teaches you!

This relationship has also taught you how to recognize a person. He has no money and no prospects at work. What caused this? But you know what? You're going to find out!

Is he not working hard enough or spending money recklessly?

So, if such a person's world view is consistent with your own, then you've found your perfect partner! If it isn't, then it's time to move on to someone who aligns with your values.

It's totally okay to break up because it's just not a good match!

But if he doesn't care about the other person's feelings and still verbally attacks them, accusing them of all kinds of faults, then you've got to see through such a person as soon as you can!

It's amazing how much you can learn about someone just by talking to them! Especially when you encounter problems together, you can really see who someone is at their core. Does he step up and face problems with others, or does he pass the buck and dump it all on others?

Sometimes we can't see clearly when we're in a relationship. But don't worry! At this time, you can bring him along and let him meet more of his friends and family, so that they can give you their opinions from an outsider's perspective. You can also contact his friends and family.

This is a great way to get to know someone better! You'll understand more about what kind of person he is. You'll also avoid making him into an imaginary good lover.

You are a woman worth loving! You are just the way you are, and you don't need to change for anyone.

I'm Tina, and I love you all so much! ??

It's so hard to get out of a situation like this, isn't it? And it's natural to want to forget the pain.

Hello, sweetheart. I can see that you're struggling to move on from this relationship and that you're trying to forget the pain you can't. It's clear you're trying to save the relationship, but it's not working.

Think about how secure you felt with him before, and how your attitude changed after the breakup. You're wondering if you misjudged him and your own judgment because you feel like you loved the wrong person and regret it. You're sad about it all. You hate him for lying to you and for treating you like a "spare tire."

I totally get it. You can't forget your first time with him because it was the first time, and you gave it a beautiful meaning. Do you think he hates you for not treasuring your first time so much?

He left with a sense of denial, which made you doubt whether you were at fault and started to doubt yourself.

I totally get it.

It's a great chance to think things over.

1. I'd love to know what gives you a sense of security!

He's not the handsomest, richest, or most successful guy out there, but I'm head over heels for the feeling of security he gives me when he's around. From what you've shared, it seems like your sense of security isn't about money, work, or his future.

I'd love to know what gives you that sense of security.

2. I'm really sorry to hear you feel like he's using you as a spare tire.

I'd love to know your thoughts on what a spare tire means to you. Do you think it's a sense of worthlessness?

3. Could it be that he's comparing you to your ex-girlfriend? Or is it you yourself?

Speculation:

I think there might be another part you haven't told us about. It seems like you often ask her about what happened between her ex-girlfriend and him. I get the feeling that, because you're feeling a bit insecure, you sometimes compare yourself to her ex-girlfriend. I'm sure you didn't mean to, but you might have crossed the line a few times and made him feel a bit uncomfortable.

I really hope you can see that.

It's so important to remember that whether you are good or not is not up to him to decide, and that many things are not your fault. Please don't belittle yourself.

2. You've got this! Learn to distinguish what is called a sense of security, and know yourself so that you will not be easily hurt again by similar things.

3. Try to see the situation from a different point of view and be thankful for the experience, which has given you a chance to learn and grow.

Hello, questioner. Thank you for your question.

After reading your description, I felt sadness, heartbreak, and self-doubt. I am here to give you strength.

1. About love and breakups.

Everyone who has loved has experienced the breakup of every relationship. It is as painful as mourning a death.

From the question, it's clear the person is in their first relationship.

We humans often idealize our first love.

Also, when you say, "I hate him," psychology is clear: love is hate, and hate is love. When a person devotes a lot of attention to something or someone, it is a feeling of being attracted.

Everyone's love looks different, and you put a lot of heart and energy into it.

Next, I want you to understand that the pain of loss is an instinct of our humanity.

It's true that it's easier to accept a breakup, but that doesn't make the pain any less real. I'm here to support you through this difficult time.

Dr. Kübler-Ross' stages of grief are used in breakups.

It's denial.

Anger.

Bargaining

Depression

Accept it.

The questioner can observe his or her own state without forcing himself or herself to change or forget the ex. He or she can simply allow himself or herself to stay in the pain of the breakup for a while. In fact, love, for better or for worse, can become nourishment on the road of life. The key is whether you are willing to take and use this nourishment.

Every relationship is just right.

Mr. Zhou Xiaokuan once said, "Dear, every man you meet reflects your entire self. He is neither more nor less, just right."

We have decided to end the relationship because we realised that we are not a good match for each other. We would like to kindly ask you to end the relationship.

?3. Learn to care for yourself.

You are hurting because you are taking your ex-boyfriend's words to heart. They reflect something about you.

There's a classic saying in psychology: "Dear, there is no one else out there but you."

You will not take his accusations to heart when you are 100% sure that the things he accused you of are not true. But feeling pain is actually a response to the sound of his accusations.

We all have different psychological buttons. The questioner can use this to become aware of their own psychological buttons and avoid repeatedly attacking themselves due to the accusations of their ex-boyfriend.

You need to take care of yourself. Spread your arms wide, then hug your body gently. Close your eyes and pat your body to soothe your wounded heart.

I hope the above answers are helpful to you. You are loved.

Good day, question asker. I can see the confusion you are facing, and I extend my support to you.

I empathize with you given the unfortunate circumstances of your first relationship. I extend my support and encouragement in the form of a warm embrace.

It is reasonable to assume that you will dislike being treated in this manner by your boyfriend.

It is unacceptable for women to be treated in a disrespectful manner by men.

However, your boyfriend has exploited your situation, which has led to your negative feelings towards him.

It is important to note that regardless of who initiated the separation, the experience is likely to be traumatic.

What is the recommended course of action at this juncture?

I advise that you seek professional assistance from a counselor, preferably one with expertise in relationship issues. Allow the counselor to assist you in formally addressing the trauma of the breakup.

The counselor may utilize the "empty chair technique."

The "empty chair technique" involves sitting in one chair and imagining your boyfriend sitting in the other, empty chair. This allows you to express your feelings and thoughts in a constructive manner.

At times, simply discussing the matter can provide a sense of relief.

As an alternative, you may wish to consider composing a formal letter of farewell to your boyfriend. There is no limit to the length of the letter.

Frequently, after putting pen to paper, individuals find themselves able to move on from the situation.

Only by letting go of this traumatic experience of a bad breakup can you regain the courage to move forward.

This unfortunate experience does not define the questioner's future. It is my sincere hope that they can put it behind them.

It is only when your state of mind is optimal that you can expect to have confidence in future relationships.

Furthermore, I recommend that the individual in question expand their social circle in their daily lives. This will help to ensure that they do not become deeply involved and are able to extricate themselves when they encounter a relationship setback.

That will conclude my input for the time being.

The above represent my personal opinions, which I offer for your consideration.

I hope you find my responses to be both helpful and inspiring. I am the individual responsible for providing these answers, and I am committed to ensuring that they are as accurate and helpful as possible.

At Yixinli, we extend our warmest regards to you and your loved ones.