27, since my daughter was born, have we argued over trivial matters?

Hello! Just wanted to send you a warm hug from afar.

You might feel like you're at your wit's end in your current marital situation and you're craving some understanding and support.

It's important to remember that any emotion is usually tied to unmet expectations or needs, especially negative ones. You've noticed that your emotions and those of your husband have changed a lot since your daughter was born. In particular, you've noticed that you tend to lose your temper more easily and without good reason.

Then try to notice when you want to lose your temper. What inner needs are you trying to satisfy by losing your temper? These could be the desire to be seen, understood, supported, and cared for. You haven't received these things from your husband for a long time. You think that if you tell him these needs in a calm tone, he may think you are vulnerable. This is not the response you want. You want him to treat you with love and respect. You think that if he really loves you, he should know how you want to be treated. But the truth is that he really doesn't know. He needs you to tell him what to do directly.

At the same time, you should also try to be aware of your desire for this support from him. Can you try to first give yourself the satisfaction and response through your own efforts? For example, when you feel particularly tired, listen to your body and take a break. Relax, don't force yourself, and don't demand perfection from yourself as a good mother and wife.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little listener at the Q&A hall. The world and I love you.

Hello, young lady. I see you're confused. I hug you!

You have marital problems. Here's a hug.

Did your bad temper start after your daughter was born?

Tell the doctor about your situation next time you go for a checkup.

You might have postpartum depression.

Are you alone with your daughter? How old is she?

If your daughter is young, she may be naughty and have tantrums.

You have to face your daughter alone for a long time, and you'll feel depressed.

Your husband is bad too.

You're tired from taking care of your daughter, so you argue with your husband over small things.

If you still have a good relationship with your parents, you can ask them to come over during the day to help you with your daughter.

Then you can relax.

Go shopping with your friends or see a movie.

You won't lose your temper so easily when you return home.

I hope you can resolve your problem soon.

I'm out of ideas.

I hope my answers help and inspire you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!