8 months have passed this year, what if I am disappointed in every aspect of life?

Good morning,

Host:

I have taken the time to read the post carefully and from what I have observed, it seems that this year has presented some challenges for you, particularly in your love life, career, and family relationships. At the same time, I have also observed that you have courageously faced your inner self and actively sought help on the platform, which will undoubtedly help you to better understand and recognize yourself and others, and make adjustments accordingly.

I would like to share some observations and thoughts from the post that I hope will help you to look at things from a more diverse perspective.

1. It may be helpful to accept and express our emotions in a reasonable way.

From the post, I can see that you mentioned your own setbacks this year, in your relationships, at work, and with your family. If I may, I would like to extend an invitation to you to give yourself a big, strong hug.

It can be challenging to navigate these challenges. For many of us, we may be able to withstand a setback, but for some, it can be more difficult.

However, repeated setbacks can sometimes be challenging to navigate. For the individual in question, they have demonstrated a notable capacity for resilience.

Despite the challenges you have faced in your career, you have demonstrated resilience in taking the necessary steps to move forward. Not everyone would be able to do that.

I believe that these qualities of yours will also be of great benefit to your future growth.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what we can do for ourselves in the present. One approach could be to try to accept your emotions and then express them reasonably.

Given the many challenges we've faced, it's understandable that we're experiencing a range of emotions. If I were in your shoes, I believe I would also feel a sense of disappointment.

We can therefore allow ourselves to have emotions now, and to feel a little disappointed with ourselves at this stage. Once we have allowed our emotions, we can also express them reasonably.

It may be helpful to consider that expressing our emotions in a constructive manner can often lead to a sense of relief. The host may benefit from attempting to express their emotions in a reasonable manner.

It might be helpful to express our emotions in a way that feels comfortable for us. You could also consider trying a psychological emotion diary, which is a way to record our emotions, feelings, thoughts, and so on.

As we write, we can sort out our emotions on the one hand and listen to them on the other. This can often help to relieve our emotions.

For you, it might be helpful to focus on taking care of yourself and your feelings. This could help you feel a little better and experience some warmth.

2. Consider exploring your own feelings.

The host mentioned at the beginning of the post that they were feeling disappointed in many areas of their life. I can relate to those feelings.

It simply suggests that if we are open to it, we can also grow in every aspect and make a fresh start. It's often the case that opportunities arise when we're facing the most challenging times.

You may also use this opportunity to grow in a comprehensive way. Then, we can discuss the emotional aspects together.

In the post, the host mentioned that I have been used as a spare tire in relationships, once from 2010 to 2019, and once from 2019 to 2022. I watched my relationship with a guy develop in a positive direction. I was optimistic that it was going to work out, and I was in contact with him until the second day of the Chinese New Year this year. However, on the third day of the Chinese New Year, he met a girl on a blind date and did not contact me again. By the end of the month, they had gotten together, and a month later they had gotten married.

I can appreciate that you've been through a lot and that it's been painful.

At the same time, we would like to discuss with you why you are the spare tire in a relationship. This is a very thought-provoking question.

I wonder if I might ask why a guy who was developing in a good direction ended up marrying a girl he had only known for a short time?

It is also possible that there are issues with the other person involved. However, it is important to remember that relationships are a two-way street, and both people have a responsibility to contribute to the relationship.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the reasons behind our current situation. We can reflect on our personal views on love and the external influences that may have shaped them.

For some people, being the spare tire in a relationship may be a result of a low sense of self-worth, which can lead to a lack of belief in one's own worthiness to be treated well or loved. This can often be influenced by one's upbringing.

In light of these limitations, I will refrain from delving too deeply into this aspect. It might be beneficial for the original poster to explore this topic further on their own.

3. Workplace

It would seem that the host has not received the care and attention that they deserve from their leaders and colleagues in the workplace. Perhaps it would be beneficial for the host to give themselves a hug to help them feel more at ease.

To help herself feel more at ease. It's just that in the workplace, many people have had similar experiences to the host.

It is possible that she may be the one who does the most work, but that she never gets any recognition or appreciation.

It is not uncommon for people in the workplace to react negatively to mistakes.

In the workplace, people tend to focus on their own tasks and responsibilities, which can sometimes limit their ability to engage with others. This reminds me of a story from Qingyin.

One day, she was in a bit of a rush.

She was wearing two different colored shoes and didn't notice until halfway through the day. Given her late arrival, she likely proceeded to work with a somewhat reserved demeanor.

She was mindful of her actions at work, concerned that her mistake might be noticed and teased. She spent the day in a state of worry.

By the time she got off work, however, it seemed that none of her colleagues had noticed that she had worn the wrong shoes.

Upon arriving home, she couldn't help but laugh. Her colleagues were also taken aback and inquired about the cause of her mirth.

She indicated her shoes, and her colleagues grasped her meaning. In the workplace, people are often preoccupied with their own concerns, which can limit their capacity to care for and support others.

It is also important to remember that when others are unable to meet our expectations or our own needs, we have the capacity to satisfy ourselves. As adults, we have the opportunity to take responsibility for our own lives and our own emotions and needs.

4. Conditional love

The post detailed the interaction between the poster and her mother, which seemed to evoke a sense of sadness in the poster. Based on the information provided in the post, it appears that the mother's love for the poster may be shaped by certain conditions. I'm curious to know your thoughts on this matter.

Perhaps it would be helpful to define what is meant by "conditional love." It can be described as a form of love that requires meeting certain expectations and needs before receiving love and kindness in return.

If I might suggest another way of looking at it, it would be like this: I give you an A, but you must give me a C in return. If you don't give me a C, then I won't give you an A.

If we have grown up with this kind of conditional love, it may have an impact on us at this time. For example, we may have a tendency to believe that the real us is not understood, not accepted, and not liked.

It is important to remember that we can only love our parents if we meet their expectations. However, when we are hurt, it is natural for us to crave unconditional love, understanding, and acceptance.

It is important to remember that while our parents may not be able to provide us with unconditional love and acceptance at this time, we can still offer ourselves these things. We can accept ourselves unconditionally and see ourselves with kindness and understanding.

When our needs are met, we may also feel better, which can nourish us. Of course, we can also seek out a suitable relationship.

Some relationships accept and embrace us, and such relationships can also nourish us.

I hope that these will be somewhat helpful and inspiring to you, the host. I am Zeng Chen, a heart exploration coach. If you have any questions, you can also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication and exchange.

I believe we can grow together.

Hello! I'm Yang Yiqing, a listener on the Yixinli platform.

I've noticed your problems and I'd like to talk to you. I'm hoping I can be a source of support and help.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been through a lot. I can see that you're kind, ambitious, resilient, and highly logical. But I also see that you've been treated badly in many aspects of life. It seems like you're surrounded by a wall of pressure, feeling a deep sense of helplessness and disappointment. It's hard to see the meaning and light in life when you're feeling this way.

From what you've told me, you seem like a kind, ambitious, resilient, and highly logical person. However, it's clear that you've been treated badly in many aspects of life. It seems like you're surrounded by a wall of pressure, feeling a deep sense of helplessness and disappointment. It's also like you're unable to see the meaning and light in life.

I want to tell you that life isn't as bad as you think. I can see how you feel powerless, stuck in the mud, like you're slowly being swallowed up by your surroundings. But you can climb out by using the strength of others.

Next, let's look at your current problems together and see how we can help you find solutions:

Work

Work It seems like your work situation has had a positive effect on you during the pandemic. However, due to the outbreak, you were "quarantined" in the dormitory for a long time, and then eating became a problem. It's hard to imagine how you managed to persevere. You must have been very tired!

I see two main issues here.

1. How did the other people in your situation get through it? Are they being treated the same way you are?

The point of this question is to help you see that you're not the only one who's been treated unfairly. If you keep thinking this way and focusing on yourself, it's easy to feel sorry for yourself and hard to move on from this way of thinking.

Do you think it would make you feel better if others were more like you?

If others are different from you, you might want to ask yourself why you're the only one being "targeted."

2. Endless forbearance: It's clear you always do what you're asked at work and never push back or share your own ideas. You seem very humble and caring, always reaching out to help others while covering your heart with your hands.

I really feel for you. It seems like you've given everything you can, but you're still covered in wounds.

This is actually a sculpture of a pleasing personality. People like this often make compromises in life, putting themselves through a lot to gain the support and love of others.

2. Family

It seems like you're always the one taking care of the family, whether it's cooking, cleaning, or something else. These tasks often go unacknowledged, but I get the sense that you're hoping for some affirmation and support from your family.

After all, you're tired from work and want to relax when you get home.

1. But how did this habit start? How did all these household chores end up on your plate and become impossible to get rid of?

This seems to be related to what you experienced as a child. Maybe you were an obedient and sensible baby from an early age! This also confirms the formation of a "pleasing personality." From an early age, you were particularly sensible, did a lot, and would not cry or ask for anything.

2. Mom's crying: From what you've said, it seems like your mom is playing the role of a "daughter" who needs you to take care of her, her emotions, and her life. Here are a few things to think about: How did mom develop this personality?

It seems like your mother is always asking you to become someone you can't be. Where does she get this kind of request? Is it because she also wants to become such a person?

Or does she need someone to depend on?

From what I can see, she cares about you and needs you. She wants to win your attention and your company by crying. But she doesn't know how to express herself, and she just sees that her crying will make her want to get what she wants.

Maybe you see this as a form of control on the part of your mother, but think about it: what would you think if she stopped needing you and stopped caring for you?

3. Love

I just want to wish you well for that relationship that didn't work out. It just meant that you weren't meant to be with that person. If that person hadn't met the person they married, would they have ended up with you?

If it comes to an end, there's no shame in losing him. He doesn't belong to you.

I think what you're really feeling is a loss of self-worth, a sense of being belittled, and a sense of being replaced in this relationship. It's not about whether the last person was this person.

I think in this self-centered feeling, you need to see more of your own merits and why you unconsciously point this out to yourself.

This is probably an unconscious reaction. Could it be related to the "pleasing personality"? It can be really painful and difficult when you give something but don't get the feedback you were expecting.

4. Light – external resources

You have lots of external resources that can support you, but you just don't see them. For example:

1. Warm net friend

You're worried about how your negative emotions might affect others, so you don't bother them. This is your kindness, and it shows that you value this friendship very much. But no matter what, they are still people you can rely on.

You feel this way because you've projected your feelings onto your online friends. You think that if someone treats you this way, you'll leave. But online friends aren't you.

Just remember, there are plenty of people out there who are willing to help.

2. Love your mother

Even if your mother has made all kinds of demands on you and tried to control you by crying, there's no doubt that she still loves you.

It might be worth trying to communicate with your mother and let her know your situation and thoughts. It's possible she'll change her mind.

3. A good job

Even though you had a rough time at work because of the pandemic and your colleagues didn't show much support afterwards, you were really happy with your work before the pandemic. This shows that the problem isn't with your work, but with the pandemic, which has shown some of your weaknesses at work, like not being able to express your needs and feelings.

If you can see these flaws and try to make changes, I think you'll find it benefits you more at work!

5. Internal Resources

You've also got lots of internal resources that can help you out, like your great work skills, your willingness to consider other people's points of view, and your ability to stick with things when they get tough. Use these to fight against the bad environments you're facing, rather than letting them affect you negatively.

[Written in the end]

[Written in conclusion]

We're like a camera. We see different scenery when we look at the same life through different angles, and we feel differently about it. As long as we adjust the angle of the camera, it's still the same life. I believe you'll see a more beautiful scenery!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. I and the world are rooting for you!

If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to reach out. I'm here to help!

Hello, question asker! I'm Jia Ao, and I'm not looking for anything.

I read your post on the platform and I can relate to what you're saying. It's been eight months and you're feeling like everything is off-kilter. You're disappointed in everything, whether it's work or life, family or friends. It's a lot to handle.

"Life is really meaningless." "How did my life turn out like this? How unlucky I am!" When I hear things like this, I really feel for you. I know you've worked hard these past few months. First, I'd like to give you a warm hug from afar. I'm lucky to be able to give you some advice and help you adjust your negative emotions.

Let's go over your concerns one by one.

Make a list of what's bothering you:

1. Disappointed in men.

"Emotionally, you've always been someone's spare tire. The guy you had a good relationship with married someone else, and you slowly stopped hoping for anything in terms of relationships."

2. I'm disappointed with the company.

"I'm disappointed with the company. During the pandemic, not only was the work pressure high and the workload heavy, but the leaders didn't even say a kind word to check in on how I was doing. No one helped with the issues of meals and doing the nucleic acid test, which made me feel pretty unhappy at work."

3. Disappointed with family.

"Your family thinks you're neglectful and have strong opinions about everything. Your mother is really disappointed in you and cries over little things. You're so afraid to go home that you hide out late at night..."

4. Disappointed with friends.

"It seems like everyone's got a lot on their plate these days. It can be tough to handle all that negativity, especially when you're the one spreading it. It's natural to feel like you don't have any real friends when you're constantly dumping your problems on them."

5. Feeling lost in life.

"Every day is a drunken stupor. Sometimes I suddenly wake up. Without the company of these Internet friends, would I just jump off a building and feel that life really is meaningless?"

What makes you happy?

I met a few people online and we've become friends. It's great to have people you can chat with and who care about you. If you didn't have these friends, you'd probably be even more unhappy, but this way of getting along with people makes you feel very positive.

From what you've said, it seems like you're currently unhappy in all areas of your life. It's like you're caught in a vicious cycle. This is what we call the "psychological domino effect." Even a small force can cause a gradual change that might not be noticeable, but it can trigger huge, earth-shattering changes. This is similar to the "butterfly effect," but it's different. The feeling you get from the first tree eventually leads to the disappearance of the forest. It might sound a bit exaggerated, but it's easy to see how it could happen. Isn't the series of negative emotions you're currently experiencing the best illustration? This psychological effect teaches us not to ignore changes in weight and to nip problems in the bud before they become serious. (Domino effect from Baidu Baike)

How do you handle your negative emotions?

[Embrace life's challenges as they arise]

Life isn't always smooth sailing. As they say, "There are joys and sorrows, parting and reunions, and the moon has its waxing and waning." We all face setbacks and the unfairness of fate. We have to try to accept them calmly, face the challenges of life, accept that things aren't going well for us in all areas, and find ways to overcome them.

[Learn to do more subtraction]

Our worries come from having too many things on our minds. We can't let go of them, and we can't let go. Perhaps it is the momentary amplification of some "unlucky events in life" that accumulates more and more, slowly forming a burden that is suffocating. Try to do some subtraction for yourself, appropriately release the pressure in your heart. No matter what the reason is for being disappointed in life, put it aside for the time being, don't think about anything, and you will feel much better.

[Get help from others]

When you're facing challenges, don't go it alone. Lean on your family and friends. Listen to your heart and communicate openly with them. Trust that they care about you and let them know how they can support you. Believe that your mother has always been there for you. When you're feeling down, you can also vent to your friends, find online friends you can chat with, trust them, and feel the support of others to help you feel better as soon as possible.

[Treat yourself to some self-care]

No matter how unhappy or unsatisfied you are with your life, try to improve yourself and become stronger. This will help you to withstand the challenges and difficulties you may face in your personal and professional life. It will also help you to remain calm in any situation and to achieve your goals.

[Work hard to boost your self-confidence]

If you're feeling dissatisfied with your life, it's time to focus on improving yourself. Study hard, become more capable, reduce your anxiety, boost your self-confidence, think positively, focus on your goals, and tell yourself, "I'm great!"

[Work happily, live happily]

The situation at your current workplace really makes you unhappy at work. If things never improve, it might be time to move on to a new workplace. You deserve to be happy at work. In short, it's up to you. You can be yourself, work happily, and live happily.

I hope this helps. Best wishes!

Hello, question author!

I can tell you're disappointed and helpless. I'm here for you. Take care of yourself! Everything will be fine!

Eight months have passed quickly. I've been busy, but I don't remember what I've done.

Time really flies. 22 years and 7 months have passed. The questioner has no dreams or goals for the next 22 years. Do you have dreams for the next 22 years?

What are your goals? Goals include work, life, love, etc. The questioner wants to keep himself busy and create a better future. To do this, you need to set the direction correctly. First, you need a goal and a dream. These will guide you from external influences and help you achieve your goals!

I've always been the spare tire, from 10 to 19, and from 19 to 22.

The questioner has been called a spare tire for 12 years. What are his standards for a spouse? How does he see a spare tire?

You need to think about what you want in a partner. Don't settle for someone who doesn't make you happy. Love and marriage take two people working together. If you find someone you like, go for it. If you don't, move on. The right person will come along.

I get along well with my leaders and colleagues, so I still find a sense of existence at work. After I reported this situation to my leaders, they sent me back to the dormitory for isolation (because the road was closed and I couldn't go back home). My dormitory did not meet the isolation conditions, and no one helped me with eating and doing nucleic acid tests.

The questioner is conscientious and hardworking. He did well at his job until he was quarantined due to the epidemic. He was disappointed because he didn't get a solution in time. Why did he get along with his leaders and colleagues in the past? Why wasn't he helped this time?

Has the questioner ever reviewed the situation? I believe things will gradually smooth out. There is a reason for any problem. Is it the requirements of epidemic prevention?

Is it a communication problem? Or do the dormitory and company lack epidemic prevention logistics?

To solve problems, find the cause. Don't dwell on it. Do a good job, review the situation, and rediscover the best version of yourself at work.

Everyone is struggling right now. We can't change our circumstances, but we can take care of ourselves, work hard, live actively, have a regular work and rest schedule, and exercise. Let your work and life show your best side. Live your life well and live a healthy life. You are excellent, and your life will improve with hard work. Don't give up on your dreams.

I hope this Zen tea life philosophy helps you. Best wishes!

Hello! I'm going to give you a warm hug.

Given what you've been through, I can see you're in a pretty rough spot. It's clear you're feeling pretty disappointed, sad, and helpless.

You are an emotional person. You invest a lot of time in relationships.

You value the other person very much and are prepared to go all the way to marriage.

It's just how the world works. You never expected the person you took seriously to just give up on you like this. You feel a huge impact.

I understand you completely. Who would have thought that this would happen to you? Being treated like a spare tire is like being played for a fool and cheated on.

You remain rational. You believe relationships shouldn't overshadow your life, so you're pleased with your work performance.

You typically get along well with your leaders and colleagues, and you have good interpersonal relationships. However, due to some matters related to epidemic prevention and control, you cannot return to your home, and no one has solved the problems of eating and doing the nucleic acid test for you.

You feel that the surrounding environment is inhumane and that you are once again caught in the impact of the epidemic.

We must do our part to protect ourselves and cooperate with national policies, just as we did with the pandemic prevention and control. The pandemic has caused inconvenience in our lives and work, but it will get better. With the development of medical technology and improved urban management, we will find a conscientious citizen to fight the pandemic together.

I know you've been treated like a spare tire by someone else, and it's definitely left a psychological shadow. You must be very sad, and I don't know exactly what happened to you. You need to give yourself time to let go of these sad emotions and attitudes.

Take the time to return to normal thoughts before starting a new relationship. Meeting the right person may just take time, but it will be worth it.

Take things slowly in relationships. We can take the initiative, so that the initiative is in our own hands. Don't be discouraged when you see someone you like. Give yourself a chance. Learn how to determine a relationship between a man and a woman. Don't dismiss a whole group of people. In relationships, don't completely trust men. Keep some of your own views on people. What do you think?

You can pull yourself together. When you're feeling down, take a break, do the things you like, and meet people who can make you happy. Eat your favorite food.

If you like dogs, walk them every day. You'll meet the right person. They'll have common interests and be willing to help you when you're in trouble. It might take some patience, but you'll find them.

Go to nature to relax, do things that make you feel good, and give yourself a big spring cleaning. It's hot right now, so drink plenty of water to regulate your mood. Don't let the heat get to you.

You know yourself, and you're awesome.

You've grown up, and you're coming out of the shadows. Fall in love like anyone else would—just take your time. If a guy isn't right for you, move on. You're kind and lovely, and you'll meet someone better.

Cherish yourself. Have confidence in yourself. They don't know how to cherish you, so you must do it for yourself.

You have a lot on your plate right now, and the pandemic has made things even more intense. You need to treat yourself with the same love and respect you show others. You are excellent.

I know you're going to be happy for the rest of your life. ?

I tried calling my supervisor and the unit's epidemic prevention and control headquarters, but they weren't answering. So, I decided to go down and get my meals myself! I happened to see the director of the headquarters at the time, and after consulting with her, I learned that I belonged to the health monitoring category. That meant I could go out only if it was non-essential, and I could wear a mask when going downstairs to get meals or going out to buy daily necessities. I could also go to the health center to get my nucleic acid test done on my own if I took proper personal protective measures. Two days later, my supervisor thought it was too scary for me to go downstairs, so she ordered me to stay in the dormitory and not go out. I had to find a way to get my meals myself, and I could ask a good colleague to bring them to me. But during that period of time, my colleagues had to go to the village to do epidemic prevention work, so I could only get my meals if someone could go back to the dormitory. It was a bit of a challenge, but I was excited to take on this new adventure!

After a few days like this, the epidemic prevention task imposed by my superiors became heavier and heavier. My leader called me and said, "You've had a negative nucleic acid test for so many days, so I think you're fine. Come to work on time tomorrow, there's work for you." At the time, I thought, what's the big deal? If I need to be quarantined, I'll be quarantined; if I need to come to work, I'll come to work.

The next day, I arrived at my workstation on time. My leaders didn't even ask how I was doing; they just assigned me work! No one cared how I spent the past few days in quarantine. The pressure of epidemic prevention and control was also high. I woke up at 7 a.m. every morning and left work at 1 a.m. While doing work that I couldn't get rid of, I felt that it was not worth it to work for such an organization.

Since then, my workload has increased, and I'm excited to take on the challenge!

Then there's a lot of work, and my family thinks I don't care about the home. Sometimes when I get home, I have to check work messages on WeChat. They tell me to stop playing with my phone and hurry up and do the housework. I just snap and yell, "Why is this my problem? I just don't know why I'm so angry. I know it's wrong to lose my temper with my family, but I can't help it.

And they still can't stand the way I only work and never do any housework. When it's laundry time, they take my clothes out of the wash and don't wash them. And when I collect the laundry, even if it doesn't belong to me, they leave it there for me to fold because they know I'll be too busy to do it when I get back from a business trip. My mother says she wants a daughter who will run to her and tell her sweet nothings, but because I can't do that, she's always sad.

She cries at home all morning because I'm in a hurry to go to work and didn't tell her, "Mom, I'm leaving now." I call her at noon to tell her that I won't be home for dinner and that I'm going out with friends, but she just keeps crying. I don't know what to do, so I can only keep saying to myself, "Don't do this, don't do this."

I'm so excited to see what new adventures await me at home, I can't wait to go in until it's too late!

I really feel that no one can live their life like I do, and be so unlucky in every way... and I'm okay with that!

My friends are all busy with their own lives, and I don't think I should tell them about this stuff. Who wants to deal with a daily dump of negative energy? If you talk about it too much, people will stay away from you. Besides, I don't really have any friends who care about me. But that's okay! I'm going to focus on building new friendships.

The best thing that happened in the first half of this year was that I met a few netizens by chance. I helped them out a little, and they were really grateful! It felt great to know that my efforts were appreciated. It's the kind of feeling that you care about me and I care about you. When I spend time with them, I feel completely accepted and supported.

Now my source of happiness almost exclusively comes from binge-watching dramas and chatting with online friends. I know this kind of happiness is too ephemeral, but if I give it up, I won't have any happiness at all. But it seems like every day is just another day of living a drunken life.

Sometimes I suddenly wake up and ask myself, if these people didn't chat with you every day, would you jump off a building? I've thought about this for a long time, and I'm excited to find the answer! I'm not sure yet, but I'm looking forward to finding out. For now, I can say that I don't want to die, so why should I die?

But there's so much more to life!

Hello! I think you are still having a very difficult time, but I know you will get through it!

You invested in a relationship, and it was a great learning experience! You were supposed to get married, and it didn't work out, but you're excited to see what the future holds!

At work, you feel that your leader could care less about the employees at all, and all they know how to do is tell people what to do. You were in the middle of a pandemic, and because of what your leader said, you felt very suffocated, and you almost couldn't even eat. This is a very important thing, because among the common people, food is more important than anything else! Now you're unhappy at work, and you want to change jobs all the time, which means you have the chance to try something new and exciting!

Due to the heavy workload and work pressure, you are unhappy, and there are also emotional problems in your relationship. You want to take a break at home, but in the end, your mother cries again, leaving you with nowhere to release your emotions...

Finally, I found some amazing ways to help each other online or watch some incredible TV dramas to release the emotions that I can't resolve. I feel that this effect is not good either, as the emotions seem to have not been resolved and the problem has not been improved. I still feel uncomfortable when I think about these things, but I'm excited to see what the future holds!

Sometimes I feel like there's no point in doing so, but I still want to live and get over all these unfortunate events. And you know what? It is more meaningful to be alive and live your own happiness, and welcome the happiness of the future!

I'd love to know what you think has had the greatest impact on you! And I'm really interested to hear what you feel has hurt you the most.

Was it the boyfriend you had been dating for years who suddenly disappeared and married someone else, which hurt you deeply? Or was it the heartlessness of the guidance, or the fact that your family could not understand or accept it?

I'd love to hear about a specific problem you'd like to solve. Let's dive in and talk about it in detail!

Hello, host!

I understand your frustration. Intimacy, family relationships, and workplace relationships have all made you feel insecure, unfriendly, and even hurt. This eight-month journey has even made you feel meaningless and worthless.

Death is not the end. Oblivion is. If there are people in this world who care about you, your life will have meaning. I want to give you a hug. I want you to know that even someone as unfamiliar as me believes with you: It's worth it.

Let's explore together and find the strength to love ourselves and the world better.

You must explore the truth of life, re-evaluate, and accept yourself.

The hurt of the "spare tire" experience, the "unfeeling" indifference of the unit leader, or the helplessness caused by your family's "weak" and "isolated" demands for love—all of these have become strong reasons for you to be unable to let go. You are trying desperately, but you are hurt everywhere. I am sad and worried for you, but is life really throwing cold water on us bucket after bucket, leaving us desperate? Let's take a closer look.

Let's take a closer look at what it really means to be a "backup."

After several failed relationships, you've come to believe that you can't trust a secure attachment relationship. You feel that the future of your relationship is bleak. Let's set the record straight.

From a recent perspective, from 2019 to 2022, after three years of getting along, there was even an incident where the boyfriend inexplicably came home for a blind date and then broke up. I want to know what happened and what the truth is.

The problem is with the boyfriend's character and personality. He's always in a state of flux and never serious.

You didn't realize the importance of the relationship and didn't try hard enough to stabilize and support it.

That's the truth, regardless of the reason.

If your boyfriend and you are simply not on the same wavelength and he has personality and character flaws, then breaking up is the best outcome. It clears the clouds from your life and prevents things from falling into darkness.

If you reflect and realize that your lack of support and commitment in this relationship has made it unstable, then breaking up is the best thing you can do for yourself and your future relationships.

You have nothing to be ashamed of. Find out the truth and you'll be able to accept yourself again. The hurt person will become the awakened one.

I want to know what the deeper meaning of the "cold workplace" is in the context of the pandemic.

You were suddenly isolated in the dormitory, and it was difficult to ensure basic living conditions. When you asked the leaders for help, they didn't give you the help you deserved. It's hard to imagine how you managed to get through these days. It's also easy for us to treat this experience as a traumatic memory. When the leaders gave you a heavy burden as if nothing had happened, you must have been very disappointed, right?

I admire you so much. You have my utmost respect for being able to swallow your bitterness and take on the heavy burden in such disappointment and powerlessness. So, where does your strength come from?

From your instinctive need to survive?

Your personality seems to be slightly compliant.

From an instinctive love and fondness for this job?

A reconciliation that makes sense of the chaos of the pandemic?

Think about it. You may have focused on the emotional damage caused by this matter without fully understanding it. Finding rationality is not about forgiving anyone. It's about helping yourself let go of some things and feel more relaxed.

I want to know how you interpret a mother's tears.

You work, but you're seen as playing with your phone. You scream because your hard work can't be seen. You work hard on a business trip, but you're treated differently. You know your mother's needs, but you can only comfort her in your heart. All of this makes your feelings towards home bittersweet.

You should try to understand the truth in a different way.

You should sincerely express your hardship, busyness, and frustration.

You should make the most of the limited time you have to spend together and empathize.

Do you throw yourself into your mother's arms and cry with her to release your fatigue and stress?

Do you discuss each family member's development in a family meeting?

If you've dealt with something similar, I'd like to know if you've ever felt that kind of intimacy and ease.

When you dig deeper and find the truth, you'll see that life isn't closing the door on you. It's giving you the key to a better life. Try it. You'll see.

Sincere expression is as important as hard work.

You're clearly a responsible and hardworking person, and you're very active and reliable in your career. However, you rarely express your true self, as evidenced by your encounters in the three relationships.

It is just as important to be able to express true emotions and feelings correctly as it is to be able to work hard. You deserve to be heard by the world, and the world should have your voice.

Boss, I'm not allowed to go out according to the regulations, and it's really inconvenient. I know everyone is struggling during these extraordinary times. I can solve the problem of eating, so I'd like your help according to the policy requirements.

I don't know why you suddenly disappeared. It really confused me. I accept that we broke up because we weren't suitable for each other, and I'm willing to wish you well, but you need to say so clearly so that we can say goodbye properly.

Mom, you deliberately left my laundry for me to sort out, didn't you? You want me to spend more time with the family. I know how you feel. I want to snuggle up in your arms and be spoiled. I'm so tired and stressed. Give me a little more time. This weekend, let's...

Speak your mind. Connect with the world in a genuine way.

Tell the world what's on your mind. Show them you're not just going through the motions.

Respond positively to your ability to reconcile yourself. Believe that a small fire can become a torch.

You have met some online friends with whom you can temporarily relax when you have no way out. In your interactions with them, you have found a sense of existence. You should appreciate yourself! When the world is dark and gloomy, your ability to work hard to break through the gloom and let in the light is worthy of your affirmation.

You shouldn't let something that should be a certainty make you unable to find a reason to say, "I don't want to die."

You are actively sharing your story on the platform and asking for help sincerely. This is your desire and your refusal to give up on life.

Death is worthy of our utmost respect because it gives each of us only one chance, and we cannot easily use it up. The best way to respect it is to live well!

When the whole world is giving up on you, speak up and say, "I need it!" Then tell it, "I've been trying hard!" Affirm your self-coherence!

You have a powerful resource at your disposal.

You also have a family that awaits your return, a career that you cannot leave behind, and people who are waiting for you in one place with the same frequency resonance!

The world and I love you. There are many people in the world who are willing to help and love you! I am therapist Chen Jian, and I am here to give you a hug!

You have experienced too much disappointment in your life. Disappointment in interpersonal relationships and in your work has filled most of your time. You may have had overly high expectations of others, which have led to this disappointment.

We must expect our friends to do something for us.

We expect our units to provide better conditions and our family members to give us more support. When something happens, they don't do so, which doesn't bring glory or convenience. They are fragile.

You can now see your inner feelings. Time has passed very quickly. Your life seems to be filled with emptiness and sweat, not fulfilling, and you don't know what you have done. This is a sign of busyness.

This kind of busyness is meaningless. When you do something meaningful, you realize your life is already full of good and memorable things.

These things will bring you positive feelings and ideals, and you will love life more and feel that your life is very fulfilling. Conversely, if you feel like you haven't done anything and are always very disappointed, then you need to do something about it. For so many years, the identity of a spare tire seems to have been like a spell over you, and you need to break it.

For example, your boyfriend got married, but the bride wasn't you. He just got together with someone he met quickly and got married. It's ridiculous and melodramatic.

The coldness of the world and the reality that it's always more ups and downs than a TV drama are harsh realities. You thought being unkillable would make you stronger, but you ended up failing at work.

Your leader has arranged for you to be quarantined in the dormitory, but the dormitory does not meet the quarantine conditions. You also mentioned that no one is interested in eating or doing the nucleic acid test. You need to ask for help from the people in the epidemic prevention and control organization department to see how they handle such things. If you are also a medium-risk control personnel, you can definitely seek help. You must do your part in epidemic prevention and control.

At that time, you will be placed in medical isolation. There is always a solution, no matter what the situation is.

I know there are many people in life who have not reached the state you want, but I believe there is still a chance for improvement. You need to talk about certain psychological issues or get short-term psychological counseling tonight.

When you're feeling helpless, in pain, or disappointed, you need a shoulder to lean on. Find that shoulder, and you'll feel better.

ZQ?

Greetings, question asker. I am Warm-hearted Girl 1219, your answerer.

I have read your description in full and perceive that you have endured a particularly challenging eight months. I extend my support and encouragement from a distance.

The subject presents four primary concerns:

The subject expresses disappointment with her romantic partner.

The subject expressed disappointment with their workplace.

The subject also expressed feelings of disappointment with friends.

[1] Disappointed in your family

Let us proceed to an analysis of these four aspects.

[1] Disappointed with your boyfriend

The most significant concern currently is the disappointment in your boyfriend, with whom you had been in a relationship for three years. The dissolution of the relationship was precipitated by his decision to terminate it due to the emergence of another romantic interest. It is reasonable to conclude that you are experiencing a profound sense of sadness, particularly given the length of the relationship.

Although this incident has caused you distress, you are nevertheless fortunate. Your boyfriend was still contacting you on the second day of the first lunar month but then became infatuated with another girl on the third day.

Do you believe that such a man can be relied upon? If you were to marry him, would he suddenly change his mind?

It would be prudent to consider this an advantageous discovery, made at an opportune time, and to exercise caution in future romantic relationships.

?2. Disappointed with the company

You are to be commended for your exemplary performance. Your interpersonal skills and ability to foster positive relationships with superiors and colleagues are commendable.

This is to acknowledge that you have demonstrated considerable fortitude and resilience in the face of considerable adversity.

Due to the circumstances of the pandemic, there has been a notable shift in the attitude of the individual in question, which has been met with disappointment. The transition from isolation to a return to work has been challenging.

The lack of concern from your superior, the lack of nourishment over several days, and the lengthy hours of work have collectively resulted in a considerable degree of stress.

In instances of fatigue, it is recommended to engage in activities that promote relaxation, such as exercise, music, or sleep, in order to allow the body to recuperate.

It would be beneficial for you to communicate your thoughts with your leaders more often. This may help them to understand your perspective and improve the way work is assigned, which could in turn help you to reduce your stress levels.

3. Disappointment with Friends

It is possible that you feel you lack close friends. This may be due to your introverted nature, which may result in you keeping your thoughts and feelings to yourself. It would be beneficial for you to communicate more with other people and attempt to confide in someone you trust.

In this world, there are indeed very few individuals with whom one can share one's most intimate thoughts. However, these individuals do exist. One must first devote oneself sincerely to one's friends, and then one's friends will be there for us when we need them.

It is this author's belief that as long as one treats others sincerely, one will undoubtedly find individuals with whom to form meaningful and enduring relationships. Best wishes for success.

4. Disappointed with Family

It is evident that your family is unable to appreciate the considerable effort you invest in your work. In addition to lacking sufficient time to recuperate, you are also compelled to engage in domestic responsibilities, which inevitably leads to feelings of discontent.

It would be beneficial to communicate more with your family, express your thoughts, and allow them to assist you with certain tasks. By fostering mutual understanding, you can improve the quality of your life.

What are your thoughts on this matter?

[Your happiness]

Despite the aforementioned disappointments, there were still some instances of joy this year. The formation of online friendships provided a welcome distraction from the vicissitudes of daily life.

Since they are capable of providing assistance, it is advisable to engage in discourse with them during one's leisure time to alleviate internal concerns, which will result in an improved sense of well-being.

I adhere to the conviction that individuals are constituted of flesh and blood. It is my belief that, provided one engages in sincere communication with others, they will be able to empathize with and reflect the perspectives of those with whom they interact.

It is my sincere hope that my response will prove beneficial to you, and I extend my best wishes for your daily happiness.

I extend my best wishes to you.

To the female reader, I inquire as to your preference regarding reading material.

My initial response to reading these two paragraphs was that they were excellent, displaying a high level of eloquence. I was led to conclude that this young woman must possess considerable writing skills, and I also postulated that the female protagonist should be far more articulate, clear, and relaxed in expressing her feelings in words than she is in reality.

Many respondents have provided substantial insight and empathy to the heroine's experiences. This section will be omitted for the sake of brevity.

The desire for love, respect, understanding, trust, and support is a universal human aspiration. However, the reality is that we often encounter rejection, blame, misunderstanding, doubt, and neglect. In response, many of us attempt to avoid and escape from these negative situations. However, the pain associated with these experiences often persists, making it challenging to discuss and often leaving us with a lack of support. This pain can manifest as a sense of being stuck, a feeling that something is stuck in our throat, and it can lead to feelings of distress.

The female protagonist is also self-aware. If there is no such illusory happiness, then what is the meaning of life?

It is therefore pertinent to consider the problem from an alternative perspective.

If one is not the wounded child, but rather a bystander, leader, mother, or friend

In the course of your lifetime, you have held a job, formed a family, had a romantic partner, and established friendships. Your life has been relatively calm and uneventful, is that not correct?

Has your partner provided significant support, or has this support been merely transactional? Is your understanding of intimate relationships based on the assumption that as long as you are connected, you will not stray?

The experience of loss and disappointment is a common one. It may be helpful to consider what specifically causes disappointment in any given situation.

Do you lack comprehension of his perspective? What is the source of this difficulty?

Has this been given sufficient consideration?

If you have achieved exemplary results in your professional endeavors, would you be amenable to relinquishing certain aspects of your life in the absence of an epidemic?

Some have postulated that the epidemic functions as a metaphor, reflecting a multitude of aspects of life.

The epidemic has resulted in a pervasive atmosphere of bitterness and helplessness, affecting countless individuals. For those able to maintain a safe distance from the infection, the respite must be considerable.

It is evident that in the event of an issue arising, the leader is held accountable. Conversely, when circumstances are secure, it is expected that the individual will direct their attention and resources towards their professional responsibilities, leaving little capacity for personal matters. In such circumstances, the emotional sphere of individuals may appear to be lacking in vitality.

If, in lieu of seeking attention, we prioritize the provision of warmth and treat others in accordance with our own preferences, what would be the result?

The most painful aspect of life is the experience of wanting and fearing loss.

People are mutually beneficial and engage in value exchange. In order to obtain something, one must be willing to give something in return.

I would be interested to hear your thoughts on this matter.

The capacity to control one's own emotions and actions is a crucial aspect of personal development. This concept is exemplified in the adage that one cannot control the actions of others, but rather, must focus on one's own conduct. The quality of one's character is a matter of personal responsibility, while the sincerity of others is a matter for them to determine. As we cannot control the actions of others, the most effective course of action is to strive for personal excellence. By embracing a positive outlook, regulating one's emotions, and maintaining a constructive attitude, individuals can foster an environment conducive to attracting the right individuals into their lives.

One should not assume responsibility for one's parents' emotional states. It is not within one's purview to ensure one's parents' happiness.

The topic of separation theory, as postulated by psychologist Adler, is widely understood, yet merely understanding it does not necessarily facilitate its practical application. This may appear to be a straightforward proposition, yet the outcome is frequently unsatisfactory. The female protagonist can also identify an opportunity to gain insight into this theory and discern whose topic it is. Baidu offers an author, Yang Li, whose Notes elucidates the "correct way to understand Adler's topic theory," and is a valuable resource for further reading. Even if one is unable to fully grasp the concept, there is potential to gradually develop a sense of boundaries.

When we recognize that human nature and the world are inherently imperfect and that this is a world of suffering with all its problems, we can appreciate others and the world with greater compassion while facing reality.

It is therefore recommended that one accept one's imperfections and enjoy the time one has alive.

I extend my best wishes and sincerest regards to you.

Hello, question asker!

After reading your text, I can feel your grievances, depression, helplessness, and frustration through the screen... It seems like all the disappointments in your life have piled up on you: work, life, family, and your relationship are all going badly. Despite all these disappointments, you're still hanging in there. How have you managed to get through it? I admire your resilience!

Hugs from afar!

Now, let's talk about relationships!

You say, "I've always been someone's spare tire in a relationship, once for 10 years and 19 years, and once for 19 years and 22 years. I watched my relationship with a guy develop in a positive direction, and I thought it was going to work out. I was in contact with him until the second day of the Lunar New Year this year, but on the third day he met a girl on a blind date and never contacted me again. At the end of the month they were together, and a month later they got married.

Although you don't have high hopes for this relationship, you also know that relationships are not everything in life. So, you've shifted your focus to work, and I think that's a great idea!

Regarding your two relationships, I want to say that you are really great! There is absolutely nothing wrong with liking someone. The key is to love someone who can give you motivation, not someone who always tires you out. Although emotions are beyond your control, you can absolutely be a little more level-headed. When you are truly loved, you really don't need to be that great!

I'd love to know what you think of my analysis!

I highly recommend the book "If Only I Knew Before Marriage" for anyone looking for answers about relationships.

And secondly, let's talk about work!

The pandemic has really been a wake-up call! It's shown us what's really important in life. We need to remember that work is about making a living, but we're not slaves to it.

During the pandemic, your leaders' attitude towards you was that they did not care about your feelings or thoughts, and they just arranged work for you directly. This is really disheartening and saddening. At the same time, it is also unfair to you.

But you still chose to accept it generously, which is so admirable! It just goes to show that you are a kind-hearted person with a big heart. In the face of these things at work, you chose to forgive and accept, and face them bravely. Hugs to you!

You are truly amazing and incredibly strong on the inside!

And then, there's the family!

You say, "No matter how long I'm away on business, they'll be there waiting for me to fold them." My mother says she wants a daughter who will pounce on her and coo sweet nothings to her, and I'm excited to see what that looks like!

Guess what! She would cry at home all morning because I was in a hurry to go to work and didn't tell her, "Mom, I'm leaving now."

It is said that home is the warmest harbor. After reading your description, it seems that you don't feel the warmth of home, but that they are more demanding of you. Maybe your mother just wants you to be a little girl, to pester her for help like you used to when you were little?

I don't know if this was how you got along when you were young, but I'm excited to find out!

You say, "Because there is so much work, my family thinks I don't care about the home." Sometimes I even have to check work messages on WeChat when I get home.

Oh, and they still can't stand the way I only work and never do any housework!

I totally get it! You're wiped out from work and just want to kick back when you get home, but on top of answering work messages on WeChat, you also have to think about how you can help your family out and meet their needs. Have you ever thought about chatting with them about how you're feeling and what you're thinking?

Sometimes communication is just amazing! All you have to do is tell them what you expect from them and see what they say back to you. You've got to try it!

Now, let's talk about friends!

You said, "The only happy point in the first half of this year was that I met a few online friends by chance. In fact, I don't think I did anything, maybe I helped a little in a small way, and they were very grateful to me. I was surprised to find that my efforts were actually rewarded! It was so rewarding to feel that kind of connection where you care about me and I care about you.

From your description, it's clear you have amazing friends who understand you and support you through your struggles. It's wonderful to see how much warmth and care you feel when you're with them.

I'm so happy for you!

The hardest thing in life is not that no one understands you, but that you don't understand yourself. But here's the good news: you can change that! When you understand yourself, you'll stop looking outward and start living your best life.

It doesn't matter what it is, whether it's work, life, family, or friends, we all need to do one thing: communicate! And you know what? You can do it! Ask yourself: What do you really want?

All I need to do is figure out how to get what I want!

After reading your entire text, I can sense that you are kind at heart and relatively simple, which I think is great! I would like to recommend another book to you: "The Art of Conversation." I think you'll really enjoy it! It might even help you cope with your current confusion. I wish you a happy life!

Hugs! Reading your diary entries, I feel your loneliness and helplessness. It seems like there's nothing in life to hold onto or lean on.

I'm sending you a big, warm hug from afar, hoping it'll bring you a little bit of comfort.

It's so tough when we're feeling down. There are so many people in this big, wide world, and it's only by chance that we meet someone special. But once we do, it's down to luck to keep them by our side. If you find out that someone you're with is being unfaithful, it's best to leave and free up your emotions so you can find someone better and more suitable to love next.

The pandemic has had a huge impact on our lives, that's for sure. So many businesses, like catering, have been hit hard and even closed down. It seems like everyone has been affected in some way. It's just one of those things that's out of our control and has caused a lot of inconvenience to people all over the world.

I can see that you're going through a really rough time during the pandemic. It's so hard to eat when you're having trouble. I'm so sorry to hear that your workload has increased and that your leader hasn't shown any concern. You've been working so hard all by yourself.

While you're working hard, I know it can be tough. I'm here for you, a hardworking, lonely, and helpless person.

When you get home, you have to keep checking your phone because you are busy with work. Your mother is very puzzled and thinks you are just playing with your phone while household chores are waiting for you to do. You just want to rest when you get home, but you didn't expect your mother to be so ununderstanding of her daughter, making her do the housework and even trying to cheer her up. It's so hard when you're tired and your mom is being a bit demanding.

I can see this is making you feel really tired, and I know you don't even want to go home. It's so sad when the people you love don't understand you.

I can really feel your internal pressure, sweetie. It's really not easy, and there's no one to talk to about it. I see that you say you know a few online friends, and you've helped them with some small things, and then you've received some rewards and happiness in return. You care about me, and I care about you.

This is a wonderful relationship! I encourage you to apply this same approach to your other relationships. When you open your heart, let go of your burdens, and share your thoughts with others, you'll find a similar level of understanding and comfort.

Good relationships are like this: they are fluid, with give and take. I communicate with you about my concerns, my happiness, and unhappiness. The other person can understand your needs, be influenced by you, and also care about you, opening their heart to you. It's so important to feel with all your heart this friendship with your online friend, and see if you can extend this feeling to your real life.

You have so many great qualities, my dear. You're able to do a good job, you're a great communicator, you have so many inner resources, and you're your own master. But right now, the dark clouds in front of your eyes are blocking your view of the sunshine. My dear, find your inner confidence and be your true master again. This is the meaning of life.

I really hope you get better and better.

Hello! I can see that your words are full of feelings of powerlessness and depression. You are full of disappointment in love and marriage, in your career, in your relationships with others, and in your family relationships. It seems that all these difficulties have come to you at once, leaving you feeling sad and helpless. But don't worry! I understand your feelings very well, and I give you a warm hug from across the screen. ?

✍️Life is full of surprises, and this year has been one of the most eventful yet! Eight months have passed this year, and you feel that you have not yet accomplished anything that makes you feel a sense of achievement or worth. Everything around you seems to be going wrong, but that just means there's room for improvement!

✍️Psychologists have conducted an amazing "half-full glass" experiment. Pessimists see only half a glass of water left in the glass and feel sad and depressed, while optimists see that there is still half a glass of water left in the glass and feel grateful. August has just begun, and since there are still five months until 2022, let's start doing something meaningful in our lives from the present, right now!

I can see that the main source of frustration for the questioner is in romantic relationships. You feel frustrated because neither of the two relationships lasted. But there is hope! I suggest that the questioner read Wu Zhihong's "Why Love Hurts" and Huang Huanxiang and Mai Zhuoji's "Knowing Love—Growing in Intimate Relationships."

Love is a capacity, and a relationship is a kind of love. It is an intimate relationship that we get to learn and manage with the cooperation and effort of two people. I hope that the questioner can learn from the two relationships and gain more experience in managing love.

Love is the will of two people. The fact that you didn't end up together may be because there wasn't enough intimacy or it wasn't meant to be. But don't lose hope! Your soulmate will be waiting for you somewhere in the future.

✍️I can see that the questioner says they are really great at work and usually get along well with their leaders and colleagues. It's so great that they can still find a sense of existence at work! The fact that work can give you a sense of accomplishment shows that you are very good, and I am happy for you!

I can see that because of the epidemic, you can't go home, and the unit leader didn't solve the problem of where you eat and do the nucleic acid test. I tried to call the leader and the unit's epidemic management department, but no one answered. So you feel aggrieved. You have contributed a lot to the unit, and I'm sure you'll be able to contribute even more once you're home! The unit just ignores you and can't even solve the most basic problems of food and accommodation, but I'm sure they'll get it all sorted in no time. I feel very sorry for what you have been through, but I'm excited to see what the future holds for you!

✍️Although the questioner did not continue writing for some reason, I can see that you feel that you have encountered a lot of unfairness in life, that your family must not be able to understand you, and that you have no one to confide in. That is why you came here to pour out your sorrows. But don't worry! You're not alone. There are plenty of people who understand you and are ready to listen.

I want to tell you that all misfortunes are just lows in life that will only last for a period of time. The pandemic will eventually pass, and you will remain the same person who has achieved success and value at work. Because the pandemic happened suddenly and many things were not done properly at work, you can make suggestions to your unit and express your feelings and needs of being homeless despite your hard work. I believe that the unit leaders will pay attention to your requests and make improvements in this regard, because your situation is not an isolated case. The next time a pandemic strikes, the relevant epidemic prevention and control measures will definitely be more comprehensive than this time.

✍️ When you're feeling down, I've got some awesome tips to help you feel better!

Guess what? You can make your mind and body feel much more relaxed just by doing mindfulness meditation training for 10 minutes a day!

Second, get outside and enjoy some fresh air! Go for a walk, do some aerobics, or just enjoy being active in nature for at least 30 minutes a day.

Now for the fun part! Third, keep a daily mood journal to record your emotions, feelings, and thoughts. Just write for 5 to 10 minutes every day, and read what you wrote afterwards.

Fourth, talk about your inner pain. There are so many amazing listening therapists at Yixin who can provide you with the support and understanding you need. Yixin has chat rooms, communities, book clubs, and so many other great mutual aid activities every day. Come and visit more often so that you don't feel lonely!

And finally, make the most of your free time! Do the things you love, listen to music, paint, and explore new interests outside of work. Make your free time fulfilling and interesting!

And finally, I want to tell you that the most important thing in the world is to love yourself! Never forget to love yourself, no matter what!

I'm rooting for you! I hope you can find the confidence and courage to live, get out of the trough of life as soon as possible, and move forward with love and hope. I believe your luck is waiting for you in the future. Good luck!

Hello, dear question asker!

It's already the 3rd of August, which means seven months have passed this year. It feels like the days are passing quickly, like it's been eight months. But it's actually almost a month before it's been eight months. It's totally normal to feel like your feelings are a little off.

Even though life has been pretty tough and there have been a lot of disappointments, I still feel like the days are flying by. I don't feel like they're dragging at all! I think we can look at it this way: we have basically no worries about our livelihood, and there are no major obstacles that we need to overcome.

I think it's important to remember that we have jobs, we can support ourselves, and we were once so happy at work. We had friends, boyfriends, family, and we all got along really well and enjoyed their company. I feel like it's because of this kind of life that we feel the days go by so quickly!

From what you've told me, it seems like your mood has been slowly changing since the second day of the first lunar month this year. I'm not sure how to approach your situation as a "spare tire," since you haven't shared a lot of details. I believe that to persuade others to be kind, you have to experience the same suffering yourself. But I have something else on my mind that I'd like to say. You've already been a "spare tire" for nine years. How can you bear being one for three more years? The first time, you blamed it on your young age. But why is it so this time?

It seems like all your recent disappointments have come from waiting for the next person to come along. I really think that if we can break through in this area, we can gradually get over it.

So, how do you break through? What I mean is that we can think of this not-very-flattering common saying: there are plenty of people with two legs, we can find the next one. Isn't it said that there are plenty of fish in the sea?

But this time, we really need to be careful not to get left behind again.

I get it. I know this is a tough time for you, and talking about it might be difficult. I'm here to listen and support you, no matter what. Let's talk about your disappointment with your workplace. I think your feelings of disappointment might also be related to the end of the relationship. I've been there, and it's not easy. It can feel isolating when you have no one to turn to, especially when you're facing challenges. I'm here to help you feel supported and heard.

I see from what you said that your unit had a lot on its plate during the epidemic. With so many tasks to juggle, I'm sure you were eager to get back to work before your quarantine period ended. Is that right? I'm guessing the other folks in your unit were already working at full capacity, so I'm sure they were also feeling the pressure.

So don't worry about it, and more!

I know the pandemic has really changed our lives, and I think it's also changed your mom's life. She's watching you, she's busy at work, and she's watching how you behave at home. As you said, it's hard to do the housework while working on WeChat! I bet your mom is feeling a little overwhelmed too. During the pandemic, everyone's mood is a bit all over the place.

You know, you said it yourself: nobody wants to bring negative energy to others. It's like we all have a lot of it right now, because of the pandemic. So maybe we've all been holding on to it in our hearts. And it's possible that we're disappointed in the people around us because of it. I have to be honest: I'm disappointed in people, too. But I'm trying to think about things from different perspectives.

I'm actually feeling a bit disappointed, but we have to remember that life is our own. What do you think the meaning of living is? As I see it now, since we have come to this world as a life, I feel that we should live this life to the fullest. We live for ourselves, for birth, aging, sickness, and death. In this world, we have to go through it all. We are not old yet, and we don't know what it feels like to be old, so why not cherish our young lives now and let them grow old naturally?

Let's focus all our attention on ourselves, my friends. If others can do it, why can't we? Who are we leaving behind?

We can live too! We can live if we have a job and earn some money. We can take care of ourselves first, improve ourselves, and adapt to our environment. In short, it's all for ourselves, and that's okay!

I think the reason for disappointment is that we expect too much from others. We don't expect anything from anyone. Let's say it's about boyfriends. Without them, we can still live our own lives. We can earn money, eat, and live. That's all we need. We don't live for them. Parents are responsible for their parents, but we live for ourselves.

I think we should all try to live life to the fullest. That's what it's all about! And we shouldn't jump off buildings, either. When we leave this world, we can't stay. So let's make the most of this short time we have!

So, live boldly!

I love you, world!

Hello, strong girl. From what you've told me about these years, I can see you've had a rough time. Despite all that, you've stayed positive and kept looking for ways to make yourself a little happier. That shows a lot of strength of character.

Let's go over a few things you're unclear on:

1. You've had two relationships, one for nine years and the other for three, and both lasted a long time. Are you saying you've always been the backup option? Why do you think that is?

Did you feel that way, or did the other person say that? In the latter paragraph of the relationship, you said you thought it would work out, but the other person got married very quickly and didn't contact you. Did nothing happen in the meantime?

Have you and the other person clearly confirmed the relationship and looked to the future? Is love just a strong, exclusive, lasting emotional connection between a man and a woman based on shared ideals and life goals?

If you were to start a new relationship, what would you do differently?

2. You're really disappointed with your unit.

I think the reason you're disappointed with the unit is because of how you were treated during the epidemic quarantine. I felt angry when I read it, and I could also feel your disappointment and helplessness at that time. Let's think about it. People tend to avoid harm and seek benefits. At that time, they thought your community was a medium-risk area. In the case of uncertainty about safety, they might want to avoid you. After all, people are realistic.

Let's think about it this way: they only did this because of this incident, and they would have done the same no matter who the character was. And coming back to the fact that the unit leader disregarded humanistic care and assigned a large amount of work to you, this matter they did indeed do excessively, but you chose to continue to stay in this unit, and I believe you have your own weighing.

Given that you still have to work with this unit, do you think it will be difficult if you keep feeling this way? It would be good to adjust your emotions, heal from the past, and let yourself off the hook.

3. You're disappointed with friends.

You feel like your friends aren't being genuine, and you think this is a negative thing. You're worried that if you talk about it too much, they'll turn away from you. In fact, sometimes being honest about your thoughts can actually bring you closer together.

If you close your heart, friends can't get in or communicate with you. Over time, they'll become more distant. Find someone you feel most comfortable with. Ask about their recent situation and talk about your feelings. You might discover that she cares about you too.

4. Let's talk about family.

You mentioned that your family complains that you spend too much time on your phone and not enough time doing chores because of your work. Your mother even gets upset when she hears that you and your friends aren't coming home for dinner. I don't know if you can see the love behind your family's actions.

You mentioned you have a lot on your plate. Have you tried talking to your family? Have you brought up what you went through during the pandemic?

Is it that there are just too many things to do to do the housework, or are you just not motivated to do it? Your mother misses the daughter who used to dote on her, and she misses the way she used to spend time with you. Do you see her underlying appeal in this?

She doesn't know that you're unhappy with a lot of things because of what's happened to you, so she thinks you've changed, but she doesn't know how to help you. I suggest that you try to talk to them and put yourself in their shoes. Home is our last haven, and it can definitely be fixed. I believe in you!

I'm glad you're here looking for help. I think with the help of all these professional teachers, you'll be able to let go of your stress and start moving towards a bright future!

I have carefully reviewed the original poster's entire description.

Firstly, address the fundamental question: if you are disillusioned with life, then seek out the positive aspects of life that inspire hope.

In my view, the questioner's description does not paint an entirely accurate picture. However, I do not believe it is as unfavourable as it seems.

From my perspective, at least,

While I cannot guarantee the accuracy of my description, I hope it will help you consider this issue from a different angle.

Firstly, consider becoming a source of support for someone else.

One is a 9, the other is around a 3. In essence, the two back-ups are different in nature.

One possibility is that the other individual is currently single, but you have not yet achieved your desired outcome. If this is the case,

Perhaps it would be beneficial to consider allowing things to simply be as they are.

The absence of a definitive outcome does not negate the value of the process itself.

This approach will demonstrate that you have gained something from this relationship. Otherwise, if a person never responds, it is unlikely that you would have maintained your position for so long.

Another scenario is when the other party has had a long-term partner and you are the replacement member, but you failed to assume the role.

It is difficult to determine whether this kind of struggle is beneficial or not. However, it is simplest to be the spare tire. You should meet the other person's demands unconditionally, but you will lose yourself in the process, and the other person will not take you seriously.

If the other party does not respond to your communication and does not contact you again, this is a positive indicator.

At the very least, you will not be investing your time and energy in a futile pursuit.

If a prospective partner is unsuitable, it is advisable to terminate the relationship as soon as possible, for the benefit of all parties involved.

Therefore, it is not the most unfavorable outcome, and disappointment is unlikely.

It is worth noting that relationships often present unexpected challenges and lessons. It is fortunate that not all of these are encountered in the same way.

Secondly, it is important to focus on work.

If you indicate that you have a good rapport with your colleagues and your supervisor, but feel that your needs are not being met, it may be beneficial to take a closer look at the situation.

Please clarify what you consider to be good.

It is important to understand that the value of work is not determined by the quantity of effort invested, but rather by the intrinsic value of the output. This intrinsic value is what we refer to as a reward.

While this may not be immediately apparent, it is a likely outcome in the future.

The benefits of work can include friendship, personal growth, or a high material salary.

If the aforementioned conditions do not apply, it would be advisable to consider whether there may be any misjudgments on your part with regard to your approach to work.

Furthermore, you previously indicated that your work is satisfactory, yet it currently occupies a significant portion of your time, to the extent that you are reluctant to perform even routine household tasks.

Have you considered the possibility that you may be experiencing a work-family imbalance?

If you are already experiencing a work-life imbalance, it is worth questioning whether this is still beneficial.

To be frank, the epidemic represents a sudden change.

Many individuals have encountered circumstances that are beyond the realm of possibility. In light of the ongoing epidemic,

In principle, many urban communities have a psychological counseling hotline for those affected by the epidemic. It is acceptable to call.

Please do not hesitate to ask questions.

It is important to learn to ask for help when needed.

Additionally, it is important to learn to communicate effectively and express your needs. This could involve saying, "I can't do it, can you help me?"

Or, I am unable to complete the task to your satisfaction. Would you be open to discussing alternative solutions?

I was informed of a case study involving a young girl who had a disagreement with her family and subsequently left her residence without any belongings.

She proceeded to a local noodle restaurant, where the proprietor provided her with a complimentary meal.

The girl expressed her gratitude to the boss, but then proceeded to voice her dissatisfaction with her parents.

The boss replied, "I only provided you with a meal, but your parents have provided you with unconditional support for many years."

It is possible to gauge the response of a stranger, but how can you assess the reaction of your own family?

Naturally, if your parents are in a normal and balanced situation, there is a possibility that you may need to address their condition on an individual basis at some point in the future. However, it is important to remember that they are the individuals who have raised you to function in this manner.

While the parents described by the questioner may appear to be acting in a pretentious manner from an outsider's perspective, their thoughts and requirements, as conveyed by their assertion that they can do it,

If you are able to do it, then simply do it. It is simply a matter of spending a few more minutes persuading them.

If you are unable to complete the task, you have two other options: explain the situation or avoid it. Either way, you will have to deal with the conflicting feelings of wanting to refuse but not knowing how to say it.

From my perspective, these tasks are not onerous and refusal is equally straightforward. What, then, is the challenging aspect?

I am not personally inclined to do so, but that does not mean I am unable to perform the task in a perfunctory manner. It should be noted that this is not about adults being considerate and decent.

It is likely that the questioner does not live alone.

Let us assume that you reside alone and are frequently absent from your residence. Consequently, you are confident that,

You neglect all aspects of domestic maintenance, including cleaning, housework, cooking, and laundry.

You maintain a high standard of personal care, but how long can you sustain this level of commitment?

In regard to friends, it is possible that not everyone exudes negative energy, but does this mean that the inquirer will not share positive emotions and experiences with friends?

If the only topics of discussion are negative energy and mutual recrimination, it may be worth questioning the sincerity of the desire to remain friends.

A sincere friend will always be honest with you, share information with you, and then, if you respond well, you will proceed together. If you cannot proceed together, you will still have a positive experience together, and then part ways amicably.

Friendships evolve over time. Some individuals become lifelong friends, while others are only acquaintances. Some friends share similar interests and values, while others provide empathetic support.

Have you distinguished between the requirements of your associates, expressed interest in their experiences, and demonstrated consideration for their well-being?

From my perspective,

Given your continued positive outlook and resilience in the face of setbacks, I encourage you to maintain an optimistic perspective.

From my perspective, you have the capacity to recognize the beauty in life and to improve your overall well-being.

Please consider the following: your capabilities, your willingness to contribute, your capacity to invest emotionally, your limits, and your readiness to let go.

Then, live a good life and experience the full spectrum of human emotion.

While life may not inherently possess a profound sense of purpose, it offers the chance to uncover and pursue the meaning that can be derived from it.

This is to signify the conclusion of the matter.

Hello!

When I saw a 1,600+ word question, I read it. It was as if a young girl who seemed energetic, easy-going, and easy to get along with was standing in front of me. She removed her mask, revealing a tired and haggard face. You've provided a lot of information, so I'm not sure I can give you advice on your life.

I hope you'll get some comfort from my answers when you're feeling sad.

An unequal relationship uses up your energy.

You said that this year, the key word is "disappointment." This includes disappointment in men, at work, with friends and family. The opposite of disappointment is "expectation." You expected to walk hand in hand with your boyfriend into marriage. You expected more humane care from the workplace. You expected friends to comfort you emotionally. You expected family members to share your hard work.

These expectations are common in relationships. You give a lot, but don't get much in return. You've been the backup partner twice. You've invested a lot of emotion, but the other person married someone they met recently. You work well at your job, but when there's an epidemic, you're just told to follow the arrangements. No one cares about your personal needs. At home, your mother wants you to be her sweetheart, but she doesn't help with chores. You think about your friends, but they don't ask if you need help.

In every relationship, you give as much as you can until you run out of energy. It is not easy to change how you act in relationships. Being aware is the first step.

[Recharge with love]

You are a strong person. You don't have to be a "power bank" for other people. You have the life you want. Recharge yourself to keep going in the direction you like.

Just because other people depend on you doesn't mean you have to bear all the dependence. For example, your mother seems to need your companionship and attention. She is like a child, while you are her "mother," so you have to give and bear more.

If you take care of others, who will take care of you? Fill your own glass first.

I feel sorry for you when I see you sitting alone in front of your house playing with your phone and staying out late at night. You can love yourself more. As an adult, you don't have to starve yourself or expose yourself to the cold wind.

Believe in yourself and you can live better.

Your text is full of questions, but there are still happy lines at the end. You like watching dramas and have good friends online. You call them "sources of happiness." You can find more sources of happiness.

You also said you feel guilty for being happy. It seems like you can't allow yourself to be happy.

Believe in yourself. You can be happy and live better.

I hope the questioner can take control of their life and feel better.

I hope the questioner can take control of their life and feel better.

Hello, dear questioner! Let me give you a big, warm hug first!

It seems that your problems with messaging, from personal emotions to work pressure, and then to the family's lack of understanding and friends' inability to support you in time, all make you anxious, irritable, fearful inside, with no hope and no fun in life. But don't worry! You can overcome these challenges and find meaning in your life again.

You are a serious person who is just learning how to express their emotions. You work hard and hope to be understood by others. You have suppressed a lot of things in your heart and have suffered a lot, which is why you are now in such pain and helpless. But you will get through this! I hug you ~

I totally get you! I feel so sorry for you.

1. About emotional issues

People who are not good at expressing themselves may seem cold on the outside, but they are actually warm on the inside! You are very good to the other person, and you have no idea how good you are. The other person doesn't know either! So, after you have been together for so long, in the end he chose the subject of a blind date!

So, what you need to do is make your emotions more explicit! You'll also want to figure out who he is. You may not be used to expressing yourself this way, but you can do it! You just need to learn slowly and also learn how to express your emotions and develop your intimate relationships.

This will be great for your emotional development and help you avoid emotional harm like this in the future. You gave it your all, and that's admirable. While things didn't work out with this person, you've still got plenty of other opportunities out there. Keep your chin up and keep going!

2. About work You've been working hard and doing a great job! It's so impressive how much you've achieved. Despite the challenges of the pandemic and the lack of support from your leader, you've kept going and continued to deliver excellent results. I'm sure your efforts will be recognised soon!

You have worked hard and very conscientiously at your job, and you are proud of your work! Despite the challenges of the pandemic and the indifference of your leader, you have kept up a positive attitude. You should have received condolences from your leader in return, but instead you received a pile of work after another—and you're ready to take it on!

You need to know that you're doing great! Your leader sees you working hard, and you're making great strides in your efforts and achievements. Keep up the fantastic work!

The good news is that you can totally turn this around! All you have to do is adjust your state so that your leader knows and recognizes the value of your work. This requires the skills of communication and expression in the workplace. You can't just bury your head in your work. You must express yourself when the time comes, and you must also make the requests you should make.

It's like you being quarantined and the leader assigning you to a quarantine dormitory. If you communicate these things with the leader in advance, it may be a lot better. First, express your affirmation, and then ask the leader if you must go. After all, there are risks in various regions, so it's good to be prepared!

If you find yourself quarantined in the dormitory and struggling to get your work done, and you also need to take the nucleic acid test and someone has to provide you with the necessities of life, don't fret! The leaders are there to help, and they'll gladly offer a one-time solution to your list of problems. Just remember to solve one problem at a time, because for the leaders, they are very busy and won't solve every detail for you that is unrelated to work.

3. Family issues

You say that you often neglect your family because you are busy at work, and that your mother in particular is very dependent on you. So have you ever considered whether you are neglecting their feelings? It would be great if you could think about this!

In your current state, work is more important than family, and you want your family to understand you. So, you also need to stand in their shoes and understand them? This is a matter of mutual understanding, and it's an exciting opportunity for growth!

Absolutely! You can definitely express to your family that you need to be understood. I just think that some of the things your mother does are just attempts to get your attention. So I suggest that if you can, you show some concern for your family and try to think from their perspective.

4. Friends It's great that you have friends!

You say you really want to vent with your friends, but you're afraid of bothering them. You don't feel very close to them, so there's no need to tell them things about yourself. But you can still have fun with them!

I highly recommend that you try opening up to your friends. Even if it's about bad emotions, the company of friends will also give you some psychological support. And you can also share the happy things with them, right?

This is an amazing process that allows us to get to know each other!

It may still be related to your personality, and you are unwilling to express yourself, so you suppress it all inside. But guess what? You can change that!

Absolutely! Making friends with netizens is a great idea. And talking to them is even better! It's always good to talk to new people, even if you're not used to it. There are so many friendly faces here, ready to listen and help. You're not alone!

Don't worry, they're all here!

And if there really is nowhere to talk, you can also talk on the platform or leave me a message like this. We will all be there for you, and we are so excited to be your listeners!

I really hope this helps! If you have any other questions, just ask me in a private message.

I love you all so much!

Hello there!

I'm a mindfulness coach, and I believe learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can see that you're feeling a bit confused, helpless, disappointed, and despairing. I can also sense that you're in a lot of pain and feeling overwhelmed.

I don't want to go into all the details of your worries about different parts of your life, but I'd love to give you three pieces of advice.

First, I suggest you try to understand yourself and give yourself a little comfort.

I know it can be tough, but I promise you it will help. Just take a moment to do this, and I promise you'll feel a little bit lighter. It'll help you think about what to do next.

You said that you feel like time is passing quickly, that it's already August, that you're busy every day, but you feel like you haven't done anything. You're disappointed in men, in your workplace, in your family, and a little disappointed in your friends. You specifically mentioned some things about your relationships, workplace, and family. In fact, if someone else were in your shoes, they would most likely be just like you, disappointed, confused, and helpless, feeling that life is meaningless. We all long to love and be loved, that is one of the basic human needs. Not getting it naturally makes people disappointed and sad. So try to understand and comfort yourself, "see" that painful self who is disappointed in every aspect of life but doesn't know what to do for the time being. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions.

I really believe that if you allow yourself to understand and accept yourself, you'll be able to bring about change in your current situation. I know it might sound a bit contradictory, but I truly think that's the way to go. After all, change is all about embracing the here and now, even if that means allowing for no change.

Secondly, I would like to suggest that you take a moment to view your own state in a rational way.

Because when you think things through, you can really get to know yourself and the world around you better.

To help you view your situation in a more rational way, I'd like to suggest two simple things you can do:

First, remember that nobody's life is perfect, and we all grow and mature through various disappointments.

I just want to say that I don't think there's anything we can't handle when we're facing challenges. I hope you can see that, more often than not, life isn't as easy as we'd like it to be. But, we can always make ourselves better by accepting things as they are.

Secondly, remember that you have the power to change your situation. You can do it!

When you put your mind to it and take the initiative, you'll find that your state of mind, your relationships with others, and all aspects of your life will change for the better.

For instance, you mentioned that you feel like a spare tire, so you can take a moment to reflect on your experience and think about why that might be. This can help you to gradually improve your ability to love yourself. You're feeling disappointed with the company, so you can take a step back and see if you've set your expectations too high or if you've misunderstood them. We're all struggling to fight the pandemic, and that includes your relationship with your mother. You can also try to communicate with her sincerely, and I'm sure it'll be resolved.

When you take a step back and look at your situation with a cool head, you might find that your negative emotions start to fade away.

I really think you should focus on yourself for a while and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at your situation with a cool head, you might even know what to do. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do it.

For instance, you could think about your experience as a spare tire and see if it has anything to do with your inability to love others. You could read some books or learn from others who have been through similar things. At the same time, you could also ask yourself if your criteria for choosing a spouse are rational and objective. I don't want you to feel bad about yourself or think that you aren't worthy of love. I just want you to learn from your past romantic experiences and improve your ability to love. As you slowly learn how to love, your mood will also improve.

At work, you can talk to your manager. You can make reasonable requests if you are being asked to do more and more work. At the same time, it's important to understand that it's normal to encounter unfairness at work. This just means you have to lower your expectations and just do your job well. When you stop expecting so much, you'll feel a little bit relieved, because without such high expectations, the hurt won't be as strong.

It's totally normal to have some issues with your mom, especially when you're trying to figure out who you are and what you want. It's like she wants you to be her little girl who can't live without her, but you've grown up and don't want to be like that anymore. So you need to let her understand you. Here's something important to remember: parents' love for their kids ultimately leads to separation. In other words, you'll have to leave your parents and start your own family. Even if they're not happy about it, this is what you have to do. So you can try to move out and become financially independent. Living apart may also make you feel better.

It can be really helpful to open up to someone you trust in your real life. One of the best ways to maintain a good friendship is to take the initiative and talk about deep topics. This allows you to connect with the other person on a deeper level and share your innermost thoughts. It's a wonderful way to strengthen the bond between you both!

You can also ask yourself what your ideal state of life is like, and then think about what you can do now to get closer to that ideal state. This kind of review can give you some goals in life. When you have a goal, you also have motivation, and naturally you will not be so negative and disappointed.

You can also look at more of your strengths. In your description, you said that you have excellent work skills, you have good interpersonal skills, and you can find a sense of existence at work. In addition to these, you must have other strengths. After seeing yourself in this way, you may also be confident in yourself, and thus become less negative. At the same time, you must also learn to view yourself with a developmental perspective, because you are still young and have a lot of time and energy to improve yourself and become the best version of yourself.

And I really hope you can always remember that the world and I love you, and that you are totally unique and good enough in your own right, and that you are worthy of love.

I really hope my answer helps! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on 'Find a coach to interpret – online dialogue' at the bottom and I'll be happy to have a one-to-one conversation with you.