A 16-year-old boy, why has he been feeling guilty and insecure recently for a year?

Hello, host!

You're in high school now! Get ready for more challenges and opportunities. You'll need to be more independent, but you can do it!

Absolutely! You can read romance novels as long as they don't affect your studies. Or you can use the beautiful stories in romance novels as goals to strive for, and use the plots to motivate yourself and improve your interest in learning.

- You should absolutely study hard when you study, and rest well when you rest. If you don't have the energy to study and are tired, you can still do it! You'll just have to make sure you're getting enough rest.

You may spend time on it, but there is still no way to remember the knowledge points. But don't worry! It is better to wait until you are in a better mood and have the motivation to learn.

...In fact, it's not just the original poster who can't talk about it. Most children don't tell their parents their innermost thoughts and needs, but there's no reason why they should!

First, they are not proactive and lack the courage. But there's no reason why they can't be!

Second, they can't express themselves.

Third, parents may also be impatient and won't respond. But that's OK! You can still find other ways to get the support you need.

...If the original poster needs and is allowed to, give them a big hug!

Absolutely! Go ahead and dream, and imagine a wonderful future life.

But if there is no effort, it is just daydreaming. So, get out there and make your dreams come true! Even the most beautiful ideas are short-lived, so don't waste any time.

Learning methods are really important! Make a study plan, formulate summaries, and make a review outline.

Come on, come on! I really hope the host will go for it and become the best hero ever! You are the star of your own show. Come on, come on!

# # Let us consider the following scenario: You have arrived on a planet that is abundant in resources and inhabited by a primitive civilization. In order to facilitate the extraction of these resources, you require the assistance of laborers. How would you select these individuals?

Good day, question asker. Let us engage in a collaborative brainstorming session to foster a relaxed and constructive atmosphere.

One might inquire whether it would be prudent to first calm down and learn the language of those weak aliens.

One might inquire as to whether such considerations as talent and character would be of consequence.

If I were in such a situation, I would prioritize two factors: their responsiveness and their palatability.

Furthermore, I would not expend the effort to learn their language, nor would I attempt to teach them mine. In the event that I desire something, I would make a single gesture, and would not repeat it.

The individual who promptly retrieves the item in question will be permitted to survive.

Should I find the race appealing, I would utilize my full range of abilities to prepare their meat, regardless of its inherent quality. My objective would be to enhance its flavor to the greatest extent possible. This approach would ensure the survival of the race, contingent on the fact that my kind generally considers meat consumption acceptable.

The demarcation between interstellar travel and other forms of space exploration.

We have returned to Earth. If you were the most knowledgeable individual on Earth and were tasked with selecting a group of children from all of humanity to whom you would impart your knowledge, who would you choose?

One might inquire whether it would be preferable to first inform the examinees of the forthcoming examination, allow them to gradually commit the material to memory, and then administer the examination once more.

I am disinclined to do so.

I will undoubtedly assess them on topics that are not widely known, thus enabling me to identify the individuals who possess genuine intellectual prowess. I will not require them to attempt to align their actions with my personal aesthetic and moral standards.

As long as they are able to acquire and retain my knowledge, it is of no consequence to me if they choose to utilize it for destructive purposes.

If no one is able to learn it, the fate of humanity may ultimately depend on the culinary abilities of others.

To the original poster,

If one is able to comprehend this intricate narrative, it is likely that one will be able to exercise self-control.

If comprehension is beyond one's capabilities, it is advisable to avoid dwelling on the matter. Instead, it would be prudent to embrace one's youth, strive diligently in academic and athletic pursuits, and cultivate cherished memories with friends and individuals with whom one shares a positive bond. It is essential to strive for excellence and to accept the inevitable, while simultaneously embracing the fullness of life.

Dear question asker,

I offer a sincere embrace to those experiencing fatigue.

From the description, it can be seen that the questioner is a "good child." There is a discrepancy between the ideal self and the actual self after entering high school, which has caused feelings of guilt. This is a typical phenomenon in adolescence. During this period, there is a greater understanding of the self and one's expectations, and an initial formation of identity.

The process of self-identity formation will proceed through the following stages: contemplation of one's identity, including both one's own perception of self and the perception of others.

What kind of person do I aspire to become? During my tenure in junior high school, I was regarded as an exemplary student, with commendable academic performance, and was held in high regard by my parents, who were generally satisfied with my conduct and actions.

Upon entering high school, I aspired to enhance my personal growth. However, I lacked clarity regarding the rationale behind my academic pursuits, which led to a gradual sense of disorientation.

This can be understood as a lack of clarity regarding the purpose of learning and an inability to identify sources of motivation to learn, which may in turn affect learning outcomes. In this context, it is valuable to engage in introspective questioning, such as "Why do I study?" and to record the responses.

For example, one might aspire to meet the expectations of one's parents, gain admission to a reputable university, accumulate knowledge, enhance one's cognitive abilities, master learning methods, expand one's intellectual horizons, adapt to the needs of society, pursue a career as a teacher, doctor, or engineer, or achieve financial independence. By comparing and analyzing these potential motivations, one can identify the underlying reasons for pursuing academic studies.

This process allows one to ascertain their desired future self.

The pursuit of a goal enables an individual to demonstrate their personal attributes. The process of striving for a goal and overcoming obstacles provides an opportunity to develop confidence, courage, and resilience.

It is not uncommon to experience doubt and anxiety during the course of a challenging endeavor, provided that one persists in attempting to achieve a goal.

From the perspective of your parents, you were previously regarded as an exemplary student, and it is reasonable to assume that you aspire to maintain that level of excellence. However, individuals who excel in their academic pursuits are not immune to the challenges and uncertainties that accompany such a path.

It is only possible to maintain a positive image if one is able to resolve any underlying concerns. If a student is experiencing difficulties and has concerns, it is advisable to discuss these with their parents. It is likely that their parents will still love them regardless of their academic performance.

Provided that one has endeavored to the best of their abilities, they are to be considered excellent. The opinions of others are of no consequence.

The process of constant exploration entails a constant affirmation and denial of the self. Gradually, the subjective self (who I am) is integrated with the objective self (how I am perceived by others), resulting in a correct evaluation of the self. Additionally, one's strengths and weaknesses are identified, and ideals are set. It is evident that you are just beginning this journey, and it is anticipated that after three years of high school, you will have a profound understanding of yourself.

"However, I am experiencing a certain degree of fatigue and a strong desire for physical affection." It is a typical emotional response to seek visual and verbal reassurance, particularly from those with whom one has a close relationship, in challenging circumstances.

The education received by children during their formative years often instills the belief that expressing one's needs and requests is a weakness, particularly for males.

The process of resolving psychological confusion necessitates the development of skills such as self-observation, self-expression, and making requests. For instance, one may lack clarity regarding the purpose of studying. This may manifest as a tendency to engage in leisure reading, which can lead to feelings of guilt. In such instances, it is crucial to reflect on the underlying motivations for pursuing academic studies. Continuing to study assiduously while gradually discerning these motivations is a viable approach. Additionally, soliciting guidance from parents regarding their own experiences with academic pursuits can be beneficial. This could potentially offer insights and inspiration.

Another illustrative example of self-expression to one's parents is the following: Upon entering high school, one may experience a sense of academic pressure and perceive their own progress to be slower than desired. This can give rise to feelings of confusion and guilt. In such instances, it is natural to hope that one's parents will be able to comprehend these feelings and continue to offer encouragement, even if one's performance is not as strong as it once was.

This approach allows us to shift our attention from self-blame to problem-solving.

It is my sincere hope that this will prove an inspiring contribution to your studies.

It is my sincere hope that you will make daily progress in your studies and that you will continue to improve.

Hello, question asker!

It's clear you're going through a lot right now. It's okay to feel the way you do. You're trying to change, and that's a great first step. I can tell you've thought a lot about why you're here.

First of all, you should give yourself a big pat on the back for your spirit of self-exploration and your courage to seek help and change yourself.

You mentioned that you were quite a good boy in junior high school, and you worked hard in high school, thinking about improving yourself every day. At the same time, you're not quite sure if the so-called hard work you did was really hard work.

I truly believe that as long as you have this desire to improve yourself, you are already trying your best. It's not about whether you are trying or not, but also about whether you are trying in the right direction.

As a student, if you spend a lot of time every day thinking about how you should work hard or spend a lot of time desperately brushing up on problems, it's okay! You've put in a lot of effort, but it might not have been the most effective use of your time.

So, the question we need to think about now is not whether I'm trying hard enough, but how I can try harder.

You mentioned that you sometimes read novels and then feel like it's a waste of time, which is totally normal! We've all been there.

I want to tell you something really important. First of all, let's not be so unkind to ourselves. You scold yourself because you think you've wasted time, but you have to see why you read romance novels. It's because you're under a lot of pressure, and you need a way to relieve it.

It's so important to remember that we shouldn't force ourselves when we can't learn. We're all only human, and our bodies and brains have limits too! We can still relax and unwind in our spare time by reading novels, listening to music, or going for a walk. It's so important not to carry a mental burden because of this.

But if you keep putting off your studies because you're reading novels, it's a bit of a vicious circle. So what we could do is make some plans together. For example, you could relax for a few minutes after studying for a certain number of minutes or after studying a certain amount of content.

When you get to the end of your day, it's a great idea to take a moment to reflect on what you've learned. This helps you reinforce your impressions and makes it easier to remember what you've learnt. It's also a good idea to make plans based on your own actual situation. This way, you can make appropriate adjustments after a few days of implementation.

You said you're a bit shy about talking to others about your negative emotions, because you worry they might not understand you.

It's totally normal to worry about things. After all, parents and elders from different generations have different experiences, and it's always tricky for them to fully understand us. Even professionally trained psychological counselors may not be able to fully understand you, and that's okay!

But if we can't fully understand, we can always find someone to talk to. In fact, if we don't expect too much from other people's understanding, just talking about your worries can already help you feel a lot more relaxed.

You mentioned that you've been having more thoughts about love recently. It's totally normal to have these kinds of thoughts, and it's understandable that you're blaming yourself for them.

You're doing great! You just need to learn to understand and accept yourself. Having these thoughts is also a reflection of the fact that you are under too much pressure, and your mind can't help but find a way to release this pressure. You need to first accept that you will have all kinds of thoughts, and that's normal.

In a nutshell, my advice to you is this:

First, try to understand yourself, accept yourself, and don't blame yourself for having all kinds of thoughts. It's totally normal to have all kinds of thoughts! It's just your way of finding relief from stress.

Second, it's a great idea to set an appropriate learning plan and not be too hard on yourself. Start with the practical situation and remember to adjust it from time to time.

Third, you can always find someone to talk to if you need to, but try not to expect too much from others in terms of understanding you.

Hi, I'm Haru Aoki, and I just wanted to say that I love you, the world, and everything in it!

Hello, dear child!

We all faced the same challenges when we were growing up.

I'm happy to go through this with you and I'm confident it will be of some small inspiration to you.

1. Understand the characteristics of this period.

You are 16 years old and in adolescence, according to Erikson's theory of eight stages of human development.

Adolescents are prone to many internal conflicts.

They begin to think independently and long for independence, but in reality, they still need to rely on their parents at this stage.

On the other hand, they are gradually maturing physically, and their psychological development sometimes cannot keep up with their physical development, which also leads to many conflicts.

As you said, you were a good boy. When you entered high school, you tried really hard.

However, you may experience moments of confusion and feel guilty about wasting time.

It is normal to have romantic fantasies and so on.

Relax. This is determined by the stage we are in, so don't be too strict with yourself.

Everyone goes through this stage, and there's a lot of variation from person to person.

You must form a self-identity during this period. You need to know yourself.

You will think about what kind of person you are, your relationship with society, and have a relatively stable and continuous understanding of this.

2. About guilt.

You need to understand that you are not to blame.

You said, "I've been feeling guilty a lot lately."

Guilt is an emotional experience that occurs when an individual does something wrong. This is when they violate a moral norm that is recognized by society or personally identified with. It is a negative experience that points to the self, and the individual takes responsibility for it.

Think back and identify any high expectations you have of yourself, such as not reading romance novels or wasting time.

You want to learn more, and you will. Your body is holding you back, but you will overcome it.

Your parents love you, but they also teach you to be strong and that the world is cruel.

You feel there is a gap between your current state and your ideal state, and you refuse to behave in this way, even though you feel guilty.

Let me be clear: we are all influenced by our families, but as we grow up, some of our parents' ideas are not right or suitable for us.

It is also normal to like the opposite sex and have fantasies about love at this time.

Don't judge yourself.

When you want someone to hug you, you're not being pretentious. You have a normal need.

Sometimes, we feel powerless or helpless inside, and we know that those who love us will give us strength and support.

If you have these thoughts, don't demand that you don't think about them. Allow yourself more. This is a process of exploration that will help you get through this stage more easily.

3. You need to feel secure.

It is normal for a child your age to "not want to or not be able to talk to others."

We don't talk about it because we're afraid others won't understand or that our parents have their own ideas.

Digest it a little bit by yourself.

Asking questions here is the best way to do this.

You can listen to different voices, and there will be plenty of people to chat with.

Safety is a subjective feeling.

Safety mainly includes:

Physical safety, financial safety, and emotional safety.

Tell me what you feel insecure about at the moment.

Tell me, do you feel insecure in terms of your physical safety and financial security? These are the two main factors that ensure your survival.

When we feel insecure, we feel alone, threatened, in danger, anxious, and worried that others may hurt us.

The world has cruel aspects, but it doesn't have to be like that.

Some relationships will be hypocritical, but there will also be sincere and friendly ones.

You must explore and grow slowly.

Give yourself more time and learn to be your own strongest supporter, not a judge.

Understand yourself and know that you are good enough. You can improve at anything you put your mind to.

Allow yourself to work towards the direction you want. The more you allow yourself, the more you can do.

You've got this!

Greetings.

Please accept a hug and do not fret. You may proceed at your own pace.

What are the underlying causes of the pervasive feelings of guilt and insecurity experienced by 16-year-old boys?

From the author's description, it is evident that such feelings of "guilt" and "unease" have always existed in the process of growing up. This can be likened to a student who needs to be given "sweets" to feel at ease. In order to receive the encouragement and trust of the people caring for him, the individual must constantly try his best to meet and achieve certain standards. Otherwise, the trust will be broken and the connection of love will be severed. Undoubtedly, such standards are cruel to the child, because the child cannot distinguish whether the love given by the parents is good or bad. As a result, their inner insecurity will increase, and as they grow up and face more complex problems, they will become even more confused and overwhelmed.

It is evident that parents are either unaware of the shortcomings in their own educational methods or have minimal interaction with their children. This lack of communication and expression hinders children from articulating their feelings, leading to the suppression of emotions. This, in turn, can give rise to more complex and challenging conflicts within them.

In the majority of cases, children should be permitted to engage in unstructured play initially. When inappropriate behavior is observed, parents should offer constructive feedback on the efficacy of the proposed solution and provide direct assistance when appropriate. However, an educational approach that imposes rules prematurely and allows children to "deal with the consequences themselves" is irresponsible and immature.

The question thus arises as to how one might extricate oneself from a state of mind characterised by feelings of guilt.

It is essential to accept one's authentic self and affirm one's self-worth.

Guilt is an emotional experience that a person experiences when they believe they have done something wrong and have not accepted responsibility for their actions. However, guilt is not imposed upon an individual, and the extent of responsibility is subjectively assessed.

Given that children's cognitive abilities and mental maturity are still developing, it is more challenging for them to navigate problems and conflicts effectively. During this period, it is crucial for parents and educators to provide guidance, support children in managing their time effectively, and establish expectations in a fair and compassionate manner. Methods that require excessive academic pressure, such as "studying with one's head hanging from the rafters and one's back pricked with needles," not only fail to support children's holistic development but also deny them the fundamental right to a normal life. While it is essential to approach challenges with a sense of calm and purpose, it is equally important to avoid controlling children's lives and expecting them to live solely for the sake of achieving predetermined goals.

2. It is recommended that students communicate with their parents in order to relieve anxiety together.

Although the question was posed by the original poster at the age of 16, it is nevertheless an inappropriate inquiry. When a child is confronted with the stressors of the family environment, their capacity for creativity and problem-solving is constrained. The family unit exudes a pervasive atmosphere of distress, which is internalized by the child, leading to a fear of making mistakes, even in seemingly innocuous activities like reading a novel. This apprehension hinders the child's ability to take calculated risks. Many individuals find solace and inspiration in reading novels, yet children are not afforded the same opportunity to engage with literature and draw insights that could potentially enhance their literary abilities. Parents bear the responsibility of providing their children with diverse perspectives on challenges, yet they often fail to do so. Consequently, children tend to internalize their parents' outlook, which is often characterized by a pervasive sense of anxiety. They perceive life as a series of daunting obstacles, necessitating cautious navigation and the avoidance of any missteps.

It can be postulated that an adult child views the world through the lens of their parents, their creativity is constrained, and they lack the courage to liberate themselves. How might they achieve happiness?

It is recommended that the subject identify a time when both parents appear to be more relaxed and initiate a conversation about their inner thoughts. It is not necessary to dwell on this matter; it can be addressed at a later point in time. The primary objective is to assume responsibility for one's emotions in the present moment and to learn to express them rather than suppress them. This is a fundamental requirement for healthy growth.

3. Adopt a pluralistic approach to gain a more nuanced understanding of the subject matter and embrace the joy of acquiring new knowledge.

If attending school is perceived as a painful experience, then learning can be viewed as a joyful endeavor. While school may be seen as a burdensome obligation, it is, in fact, a crucial aspect of life. Learning is about expanding one's horizons and gaining a deeper understanding of the world. Without learning, it is impossible to fully comprehend the vastness of the universe, the capacity of living organisms to express themselves, or the nuances of language. Therefore, it can be argued that although novels are not formally included in the curriculum, they serve as a conduit for grasping cultural output. The key lies in how we define and perceive learning.

In the absence of sufficient information to make an informed judgement, it is unwise to hastily apply the opinions of others to the matter at hand. Instead, it is prudent to engage in independent reflection and investigation, seeking to gain a deeper understanding of the issue. This will enable a more nuanced and informed perspective, which can then be shared with others in a constructive manner.

I wish you the best of luck.

As a 16-year-old boy, you know you've tried your best, but you can't help reading romance novels. You feel guilty after reading them, thinking you've wasted your time. You feel pain inside, but you don't tell others because you think no one understands. Your parents have always taught you to be strong because the outside world is cruel.

You often feel guilty and insecure.

First of all, I want to give you a hug, you sensitive and conflicted adolescent boy.

Security is a basic human need. So, where does it come from?

Our early attachment relationships, that is, the interactions we form with our caregivers before the age of three, are the root of this.

If you were well cared for by your caregivers when you were young and they were able to pay attention to both your physical and psychological needs, you would feel safe.

Your parents have taught you since childhood to be strong. This means ignoring your own true feelings.

You ignore your emotions because you want to be strong. This is a mistake. These emotions are not gone; they are just suppressed. When you encounter a similar situation, they will be expressed again, thus affecting you.

I feel guilty because I read romance novels. Why do you feel guilty after reading romance novels?

You think reading romance novels is a sign of not studying hard. You're wrong. I'm a 16-year-old adolescent boy.

It's normal to have sexual fantasies and to need emotional support. There's no right or wrong way to experience this. It's simply a natural part of the process of growing up during adolescence.

You don't have to feel guilty about this. It's normal. Everyone has to go through this and grow up. You have these thoughts, just like everyone else going through your adolescence.

You said your parents don't understand you and you're anxious. You even said you're pretentious.

This is a normal expression of emotion, especially when you say that you have some expectations of love and know rationally that they are false.

This is not about whether you think it's true or not. It's a true expression of your emotions. Perhaps you have a strict parent.

They have high expectations and pay more attention to your studies than they do to other aspects of your life.

You need to learn to take care of yourself. Pain is pain.

It's not pretentious, and it's not avoiding studying. You need to take care of your emotions in the moment.

You are a high school student. Most high schools have a counseling room, and you should go to the school's counseling room for help.

If there is no such place, talk to someone you trust. Talking to someone you feel safe with is the best way to express and relieve your emotions.

If you need help with any of the above, you can also find a counselor on the platform. You can also join a group to discuss your emotions.

Everyone here treats each other with sincerity, even though they don't know each other.

I'm certain this will help. I want you to remember that the world and I love you.

From childhood to adulthood, we gradually gain a comprehensive understanding of the world, from point to line, and from line to surface. You're still a minor boy, and your world may be more like a two-dimensional plane of your family of origin and the area around school.

Your current environment often gives you feelings of guilt and unease. You were once a model student who was well-behaved and followed the rules. You may have occasionally drifted a little, but overall, you were a good student and everyone's role model.

People usually have a very good impression of such students. In addition, when I see that you're going to high school and studying hard, but have been working so hard without knowing what for, it's like asking some unmotivated children if they really want to study.

They said no, so the teacher asked them, "If you don't want to study, why are you still in school?" This shows that the main task of students is still learning. Studying and taking exams is still a great way to gain more knowledge and better access to educational resources and development space.

If we don't study and go to school, we may not be able to develop outstandingly. It's also a good idea to think about yourself and how you feel. Did you learn just for your parents since you were little? Did you learn what your parents told you to learn?

You still enjoy reading novels from time to time, which is probably a great way to relax.

You've already experienced so much, including hypocrisy among relatives, distrust of others, worrying about being misunderstood, and feeling very uneasy. You have romantic fantasies and a longing for something to save you. But you don't know that this is exactly the peak of your self-identity. Only when a person knows clearly what they want can they get it. You can't be a hindsight. I recommend you take the Life Foundation Color Psychological Test to understand yourself more deeply and know what you live for.

ZQ?