A 22-year-old "graduated squat dweller" who really wants to go back to the past, doesn't want to take on responsibilities, and is having a breakdown?

Good morning, America and Britain. I am Zeyu.

It's important to recognize that the situation of becoming a "bicunzu" is not solely your responsibility. Graduation and unemployment are complex social issues that require a collective approach.

You mentioned that "due to procrastination, fear, and lack of ability, among many other reasons, I became unemployed after graduation." It's not uncommon for college graduates around your age to encounter similar challenges. There are 10 million college graduates in the graduation season, but the reality is that there are not that many job opportunities available, which has led to the term "frictional unemployment" emerging.

It is a beneficial practice to identify the source of a problem within oneself. However, if we solely focus on internal causes, it might not be entirely fair to ourselves to make generalizations. When we look beyond ourselves and consider the broader picture, we may find that it is not uncommon to observe many individuals facing similar challenges.

It's understandable if you don't take the past seriously. When it comes to making choices, most people tend to choose what's relatively easy and most beneficial to them. Perhaps your lack of seriousness in the past corresponded to your needs at the time. This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as "present bias," which is the inability to understand that what you want can change over time and that what you want now is not the same as what you want later.

Perhaps you are making choices in the present, but feel that making a choice is difficult because of your family's opinions. In the face of your family's accusations and complaints, we can all feel that we are perceived differently from who we really are. You are not as bad as they say, so it might help to believe in yourself and give yourself some confidence.

Let's consider why they might act this way. It's possible that in the eyes of their family members, we appear unmotivated and unimproving. They may believe that by expressing their concerns and pointing out shortcomings, they can prompt us to "improve." However, the reality is likely not as they perceive it. The reason why you find their statements to be true is because you unconsciously agree with what they say. Over time, you may find yourself adopting a similar mindset. Since you've identified me as being similar, I'll just do it this way. It's understandable that you might feel it's acceptable to not work hard, given your perception of me.

But the reality is that you say, "But I also know that this is not a hurdle that I can't get over, but I just don't want to take responsibility." It is important to remember that it is not always possible to change the status quo by going back to the past. However, it is possible to change the status quo to correct the future. It might be helpful to consider that the best state of life is to enjoy when we are good and accept when we are bad.

It may be helpful to work when you have energy and rest when you don't.

If we are not ready to take responsibility at this time, that is okay. For now, we can find a direction that allows us to explore different options and opportunities. Please remember that youth is a valuable asset. Give yourself time to try and make mistakes; it's never too late to start anew.

From your description, it seems that you have clear plans for the future. I admire your confidence! Since our family members don't understand us for the time being, we don't ask them to understand. We can gain support and understanding through other ways and means, just as you are doing now.

It might be best to take your time and not rush things. Perhaps it would be helpful to focus on taking care of ourselves and our emotions for now, and then wait for the right moment to take action.

Good morning, I hope this message finds you well. I just wanted to drop you a quick line to say hello. Best regards, Smile

After reviewing your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to ask. I would like to extend my support and encouragement in the form of a gesture of solidarity.

From your description of the confusion, it is evident that this is a typical challenge for individuals at this age. The current economic climate and the ongoing pandemic have made it particularly challenging to secure employment. It is important to recognize that these circumstances are not solely your responsibility. Instead, adopt a broader perspective and remember that you are not alone. There are many individuals facing similar challenges.

Indeed, we are in a similar situation. We are both recent graduates, both seeking employment, and both facing pressure from our families. However, dwelling on these concerns is unproductive. I can see the logic in your plan, despite the current lack of support from your parents. Perseverance is key to achieving success, and with determination, you will succeed. Remember, hard work and dedication are rewarded. Take your time, work diligently, and trust in your abilities.

In this regard, I have also summarized some methods to help alleviate the current situation, and I hope they prove useful to you.

(1) It is advisable to address the issues you are avoiding directly, rather than avoiding them entirely, as avoidance may result in negative consequences.

(2) Avoid excessive self-doubt and past regret. Instead, focus on the present as much as possible.

(3) Once a decision has been made, it is important to provide oneself with the necessary courage and confidence to execute the plan of action. It is also crucial to avoid being unduly influenced by external factors.

(4) It is recommended that you discuss your thoughts and feelings with your colleagues to help you cope with your current emotions. You may also find it helpful to keep a diary to record how you feel over time.

(5) Attempt to modify your self-perception by limiting the number of reasons you attribute to yourself. Instead, consider alternative perspectives.

I would like to take this opportunity to extend my personal regards to you and the world at large.

Please accept my best wishes for your success.