A 26-year-old woman is anxious and depressed because she has a boyfriend. What should she do? Any suggestions?

I kiss you and hug you. I can sense your vulnerability from your confessions. The fact that you can voice this concern shows that you want to change and that you are aware of the problem. This is a very good starting point. ?

It's understandable that the fact some boyfriends you meet online disappear after having sex with you might make you feel scared. It can be disconcerting to give yourself to someone and then have them just disappear. If I were in your situation and didn't have anyone to talk to or for help, I would likely feel similarly helpless.

After you got back together with your first love, you started to worry more about intimate relationships. It's understandable that you're afraid this person will do things to hurt you and disappear without a trace, which can make you feel uneasy and insecure. I can really relate to how you feel. It's natural to have concerns after experiencing something like this.

I would like to suggest a few corresponding actions that you might find helpful. 1. If a psychiatrist at a top-three hospital has diagnosed the problem, I would like to suggest that you cooperate with the doctor's treatment, take medicine actively, and consider some paid counseling if your financial situation allows. 2. It might be helpful to try to find a trustworthy elder who will not be mean to you, who will not blame you, but who will accept you unconditionally, to pour out your worries. 3. It is possible that you did not understand the evil of society at the time, and you might find it helpful to regard it as a small indulgence and lesson before you became an adult. People who truly love you will love you for who you are and won't care so much about the past.

It's also possible that you don't only have one or two boyfriends. Perhaps you could try relaxing and embracing love more openly. It's important not to let a single negative experience have a lasting impact, and not to let a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch.

It would be wise to keep your eyes open, learn to know people, and always think about protecting yourself in the future.

Topic Master, I believe the present is a positive situation.

From your description, it appears that you are reluctant to accept your past actions, with the belief that disclosing them may have an adverse impact on your current circumstances.

It is important to recognise that everyone has different beliefs and values. As the behaviours you have described are very general in nature, it is not possible to characterise them as something unbearable. From your description, it seems that these are things that make you feel embarrassed.

If you examine past events from the perspective of the present, you may perceive them as unacceptable. However, at the time, you had valid reasons for your actions. Evaluating the past based on the present's standards is akin to comparing ripe tomatoes with unripe ones.

However, regardless of how immature and ignorant the past may have been, it is still your past, your immature past. Attempting to repel, fear or worry about it will not alter the facts or state of the past. It would be more beneficial to accept the immature self of the past.

This aspect of your personality has contributed to the development of your current, more mature self. It is an essential component of your identity.

To become more mature and complete, it is essential to allow and accept oneself. I wish you the best of luck!

Hello, thank you for your question. I can understand your feelings of anxiety. It must be a difficult situation to be in, having had a relationship with your ex-boyfriend and now feeling extremely insecure because he has disappeared without a trace.

"Hello, teacher. I met a boyfriend online a year ago, but after having sex, the other person went missing. I later got back together with my first boyfriend, but I've never felt safe. I'm concerned about the possibility of my ex-boyfriend making our intimate acts public, secretly monitoring them and posting them online, or having access to the explicit chat logs I had with other netizens and posting them online. These concerns affect me daily, causing anxiety. I've been to see a psychiatrist, who diagnosed me with anxiety and depression and prescribed medication. I took it for a long time, but it didn't work. I hope you can give me some advice."

You discussed your boyfriend online and, after engaging in sexual activity, the other person ceased communication.

The questioner had sexual intercourse with the other person. How does the questioner feel about himself in light of this incident? What are some of the thoughts and reflections that the questioner has on his identity in the wake of this experience?

How does the subject feel about the other party's disappearance? Is it possible for the subject to accept his or her actions regarding the previous online relationship, particularly if sexual intercourse occurred?

Could I ask you to consider whether you can accept yourself like this? I appreciate that the other person's loss of contact may make you feel abandoned, but I wonder if there might be other ways of looking at it.

The questioner may find it helpful to write out all of the above questions to gain clarity. It is important to recognize that regardless of past experiences, including sexual intimacy, one's sense of self remains intact. As an adult, it is natural to engage in sexual activity before marriage.

It's understandable that you might feel a bit guilty towards your current boyfriend now that you're back with your first boyfriend. It's natural to have mixed feelings in situations like this. Do you feel some sense of guilt and shame?

Have you considered talking to your boyfriend about this? Or perhaps telling him that you had a relationship after him?

Perhaps you could consider communicating with him in a slow and gentle manner, which might help him to understand your perspective.

It's understandable to be concerned about the potential exposure of intimate photos and chat logs. It's possible that the original poster has experienced similar situations in the past, which might be contributing to his worry. I can relate to your feelings. If that's the case, it could lead to some reputational challenges. However, it's also worth considering another perspective. It's likely that your ex-boyfriend didn't take any intimate photos of you. It's possible that he didn't take any, and it's also worth exploring the possibility that he didn't.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider the possibility that he did not take any pictures. If that were the case, how would he be exposed?

It is possible that even if he posted it and exposed himself, he would not necessarily have to bear any legal responsibility. This means that the questioner can rest assured.

I would like to offer some suggestions for self-adjustment for the questioner.

It might be helpful to spend more time with friends and participate in some outdoor activities with them.

Secondly, you might find it helpful to try the meditation on loving yourself, which is available on the platform. It can be a useful way to accept and love yourself.

You might also consider finding a counselor to discuss communication and ways to relieve distress, which could help you recover more quickly.

You might also consider running for half an hour every day, which can be beneficial for stress relief.

Hello.

I hug you from afar to comfort you!

You are in despair over your online love affair and loss of virginity.

Then you're more panicked and uneasy, unsure of what the future holds.

Let's look at three reasons for your symptoms.

First, your personality.

You are simple, kind-hearted, and very traditional.

Most young Chinese men and women

They want to experience male and female love.

They think their bodies are their own to do with as they please. As adults, they don't harm others.

It's normal to have a "forbidden pleasure." But for you, it's different.

Your sexual morality is conservative. You think you are in a special situation, confused, eating the forbidden fruit.

It becomes a burden on your mind.

Second, getting back together with your first boyfriend made you feel more guilty.

Maybe traditional ideas about fidelity make you feel like you wronged your first boyfriend.

You feel like a criminal on the run, with your mistake hanging over you.

This fear makes the illness worse.

Third, catastrophizing makes it hard to tell what's real.

When someone overestimates the chance of bad things happening, they think imagined bad things are real.

This makes it hard for them to think clearly and they become controlled by fear.

The world is a reflection of our inner world.

You will see what kind of world it is.

How can I fix this?

First, you need a hospital diagnosis to rule out biological causes of depression or anxiety.

If it's biological, consider medication to control your emotions.

Second, when you're panicking, identify your automatic thoughts and find the catastrophizing.

Debate these beliefs. What scientific evidence supports them?

What evidence says these ideas are wrong? What are the chances of these ideas happening?

Think about the good things you've learned from your experiences.

Our lives are made up of feelings and experiences. These feelings and experiences are influenced by external factors.

Excitement and temptation are driven by internal desires. They are also part of the whole sensory experience of sex.

It's only part of the experience. Before marriage, it's just a sexual organ. Chinese moral culture has brought

The Chinese have placed too many restrictions on women.

Most women say sex is immoral, shameful, and sinful.

In this culture, stealing the forbidden fruit makes you worry more about public opinion.

My guess is that...

Your fear of your online boyfriend

It reflects the fear of punishment brought to you by sexual morality culture!

If your heart doesn't move, the wind doesn't matter. If you don't hurt, you'll be fine!

The above analysis and suggestions are for reference only because the information is limited.

I'm Consultant Yao. I'll support and care for you!

The anxiety and low mood you are experiencing may be attributed to your current relationship. Given your recent reconciliation with your former boyfriend, it is plausible that you are drawing parallels between the two relationships, perceiving your current one as superior, and consequently, reluctant to divulge your past experiences, which you deem unsightly and embarrassing.

Even if certain experiences from the past appear overwhelming, they are often the result of a convergence between one's personal values and past actions, which can lead to internal confusion and difficulty in accepting past actions. Additionally, online relationships often have a limited lifespan and are subject to instability, which requires reflection and adaptation.

It is possible that some things may initially appear implausible but are, in fact, entirely reasonable. It is also possible that some individuals may not hold you in particularly high regard, which could potentially lead to complications. For instance, following the conclusion of a romantic relationship, the other person may suddenly disappear without any explanation. This is a typical unscrupulous move that is difficult to accept. You previously had some explicit chat logs that you were concerned might be exposed by internet users, and you were anxious about having your privacy compromised in videos. These are all emotional fluctuations that arise from feelings of intense anxiety.

Due to an internal sense of unease, an inability to discern future outcomes, and a lack of trust in others, individuals may experience a multitude of concerns. The potential for the disclosure of sensitive information, such as personal data or confidential information, can lead to feelings of distress. These concerns, if left unaddressed, can manifest as anxiety and depression. In some cases, the use of medication alone may not be sufficient to address the underlying issues.

It may be necessary to seek professional assistance to facilitate necessary adjustments. For instance, psychological counseling can provide guidance to navigate complex issues. It is essential to recognize that while medication can play a role, addressing the root cause often requires personal accountability. It is crucial to identify and prioritize the core concerns that drive our actions. This process can be challenging, particularly when there are numerous factors to consider.

Furthermore, an excessive judgment of the past will inevitably result in a heightened level of suffering. It is essential to recognize that each individual possesses their own unique way of life, and there is no necessity to be influenced by the words and actions of others. As long as the past is not repeated, history can serve as a mirror to illustrate that the past is distinct from the present. It is crucial to acknowledge that at the time, each individual had their own considerations, and there is no need to overinterpret and evaluate them. It is recommended that you receive the necessary psychological counseling so that you can make adjustments under long-term guidance and truly set yourself free. It is essential to embrace freedom and enlightenment from the heart, refrain from dwelling on the past, and focus on the present. Best wishes!

Please clarify the question.

Everyone has the potential to be a beacon of light, whether it's through asking a question or answering one. Our words have the power to illuminate the hearts of many people, and this is something we can all share.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, Coach Fei Yun. I understand that you are experiencing significant mental distress due to concerns about the potential discovery of intimate acts and explicit chat records with an Internet friend. This worry is causing you to feel restless, unable to sleep or eat, and even triggering emotional problems.

Perhaps what you're really concerned about is that your first boyfriend might not accept you if he finds out. It's understandable that you want the sense of security that comes from your relationship with him.

Let's take a look at the problem together, starting with a warm embrace.

?1. China is a society that is governed by law, and all of your concerns about privacy are protected by the law.

It is important to remember that even in the most intimate relationships, we must respect the other person's right to privacy. Disclosing information about another person's privacy without their consent could have legal consequences.

As you mentioned, the messages, intimate acts, and videos, among other things, all relate to personal privacy.

Everyone is an adult, and you are together because you like each other. It's just that something happened between adults that should happen, and that's only natural. You are not special, and everyone is the same.

It's understandable that you feel uncomfortable because after having sex, the other person disappeared, which makes you doubt that there are no real feelings between you, just "friends with benefits." This "interpretation" can lead to feelings of shame and unworthiness.

It could be said that our suffering stems from the fact that we have minds. Our minds allow us to think, reorganise information and send the brain the information we want.

For instance, one might experience feelings of inferiority, shame, or remorse.

However, when we take a step back and re-evaluate these self-assessments with a more objective lens, we realize that they are just ordinary words.

I would like to suggest a book that I think you might find helpful: Jump Out of Your Head and Into Your Life. It offers a variety of techniques for achieving cognitive disassociation and coping with pain. One method that I find particularly simple and effective is the "milk method." When we read the word "milk" aloud for 20 to 45 seconds, the meaning of the word shifts.

I also hope that through this book, I can help you re-establish your perception of yourself and build your self-confidence.

2. You worry because you care.

First love tends to leave a lasting impression because it's often our first experience in life, and it's full of expectations.

I imagine your reunion with your first love must have been quite the emotional rollercoaster. While you may not recall the specifics of what transpired before and after the breakup, I understand you still feel a sense of joy and contentment.

You are motivated to try to make it work with him because you have experienced a previous breakup and are therefore keen to ensure that this relationship lasts. You also feel a sense of empathy for him and your first love, which may be a reflection of your own feelings of inferiority.

After breaking up with him, you made friends with a netizen and even had a relationship with him. This may have caused you to feel a sense of guilt and regret, as you may have subconsciously believed that you and your body only belong to your first boyfriend.

My dear, I understand your feelings, but I want to reassure you that you don't need to blame yourself. Everyone's life path is different, and yours has led you back to your first love after a detour. The appearance of that Internet friend also belongs to your life path.

Everyone is an independent individual, not someone's possession. If you truly love someone, it's important to love them for who they are, including their strengths and weaknesses, as well as for their experiences.

It might be best to keep this experience between you and your first boyfriend, if you feel comfortable doing so. It could be beneficial for the relationship if you and your boyfriend can maintain some privacy.

I hope these words are helpful to you. I wish you well and send you my love.

If you would like to continue the conversation, please click on "Find a Coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom of the page. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.

Hello, I'm Vera. Let's talk about your concerns.

First, I need to know if you have been taking the medication as prescribed after diagnosis, at the prescribed dosage, for the prescribed period of time, and whether you have been going to follow-up appointments during the medication period.

If you have done all of the above, and you are currently taking medication, and your worries have not stopped, then we will change to a more authoritative psychiatric hospital for a diagnosis, as there may be a misdiagnosis.

After having a sexual relationship with a netizen, you suddenly become anxious when the netizen disappears. You feel cheated, used, and abandoned.

This online relationship is causing you to associate it with premeditated behavior, which will undoubtedly lead to disadvantages, threats, and a loss of reputation.

This online relationship is a shadow of your unfinished business. It began with online chatting, but it didn't end normally.

You can't find an answer to explain this relationship. It started but didn't end, and you don't know what the outcome will be. This uncertainty makes you feel uneasy and unable to accept it.

You are certain that a bad outcome will come one day.

If you think the worst will happen, how much can you accept? Why can't you accept the rest?

List the ways you are responsible for the unacceptability and the ways the other person is responsible.

I'd like to know how you plan to pay for the part you're responsible for.

I am confident that my concise response will be of benefit to you. Thank you!

Hello, question asker.

I can see that you feel insecure after a period of online dating and after getting back together with your ex-boyfriend.

It's clear you're feeling insecure after a period of online dating and getting back together with your ex.

You are concerned that your online chat history with others will be exposed and that the other person will secretly monitor your intimate behavior. These concerns are causing you anxiety, and they have not been relieved after you were prescribed medication.

I am here to help.

The respondent can feel your anxiety, fear, and panic, and you are carrying an uneasy heart throughout the day. You cannot find a sense of stability in your life.

I feel for you. I will help you return to a peaceful life.

I am here to help you.

You said that after having sex, the other person went missing. This is to be expected. Having sex is a very intimate act between two people, and not only the physical but also the psychological distance between them will be very close.

We are fully committed to this relationship. When the other person disappears, it's a break in the relationship.

A relationship must come to an end, and if the emotional intensity is high, you must allow yourself time to mourn its loss. When the other person loses contact, it means that you no longer have a need for the relationship and that it is over.

It's like someone who was sleeping peacefully suddenly falling to the ground. This action itself is the cause of your insecurity.

Our sense of security lies in the stability of our relationships.

??

This is a trigger. I want to know what the questioner's sense of security was like in his previous life.

Reconciling with an ex is a relationship of separation and reunion.

This shows you still value this relationship. You should care a lot after the reunion.

This could also cause you anxiety and worry.

??

Given all of these factors, it is clear that your anxiety level is relatively high.

I am certain that you have not been exposed to chat records or monitored. Is that right?

Your worries and fears have led you to associate these concerns with possible events that could damage your current relationship.

I am confident that you will find the answer to your question.

You are uncertain about the stability of the relationship and feel insecure.

The respondent strongly suggests that if you have the means, you should talk to a dynamic psychotherapist. Since you are also taking medication, the effect is minimal.

A counselor will provide you with understanding at the relationship level and companionship and healing during counseling.

Dear Question Asker,

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing feelings of insecurity. You express concern that your former romantic partner may take action that could impact your current romantic life, and you also worry that individuals with whom you have previously engaged in online conversations may disclose the extensive chat records you have shared. Ultimately, these anxieties and concerns are still rooted in your insecurity about your current relationship.

The subject displays a profound apprehension that external factors will exert a detrimental influence on the relationship. This sentiment is accompanied by a pervasive concern about the potential for the relationship to be terminated.

First love is characterized by intense emotional feelings, but it ultimately culminates in a realistic assessment of the situation.

First love is a wonderful experience, but it is also important to recognize that reality can be harsh. The cause of the initial breakup is unclear.

Furthermore, it is unclear what the circumstances were that allowed for a reconciliation to occur. At the time of the reconciliation, had the issues that initially led to the dissolution of the relationship been resolved?

From your current state of anxiety, it is evident that there may still be issues between you that require resolution. This lack of confidence in your relationship is understandable.

You perceive a potential for your initial romantic interest to terminate the relationship at any given moment for any reason.

Given the impossibility of altering the past, it would be prudent to adopt a more optimistic outlook. Instead of dwelling on potential negative outcomes, it would be more productive to make a bold assumption.

One might reasonably inquire as to whether your ex-boyfriend would truly make your intimate behavior public, and whether your current boyfriend would consequently terminate the relationship.

In the contemporary era, it is increasingly common for individuals to possess a history that extends beyond the present.

In the absence of consensus regarding the past ex, the relationship is susceptible to difficulties. This is a significant potential issue, regardless of the degree of openness regarding the past experiences.

In any case, past experiences cannot be erased. It is therefore prudent to consider the potential consequences of such an occurrence.

One might conclude that this is a trivial matter. There are numerous other potential partners available.

It is possible that the next relationship will be even more fulfilling.

How do you conduct yourself in relationships? You engage in discourse with online acquaintances on explicit subjects, yet what is your genuine disposition in the flesh?

The question thus arises as to whether the two individuals in question are, in fact, distinct entities, or whether they represent a single, unified person. This leads to the further question of which of the two is the genuine self.

It is also possible that both individuals are exhibiting these behaviors. Why is there a need to disguise oneself in reality?

What, then, is the impediment to one's ability to be truly carefree and free? It may be the case that one is genuinely concerned about the nature of the relationship, but there is also the possibility that one is preoccupied with the potential consequences of revealing one's true self.

Is it due to apprehension regarding the online persona? Is there an inability to accept this aspect of oneself? How can one be so carefree and embrace freedom to such an extent?

Such a self-concept is not aligned with the universal values of our actual society.

We have not violated any laws or caused harm to others. What is the source of this internal conflict?

We simply acted in accordance with our own volition, and it may be the case that many individuals desire to act in a similar manner but are deterred from doing so. It would be beneficial to attempt to discern the underlying truth behind our actions.

One might inquire as to the underlying motivation behind the seemingly uninhibited online activities and substance use. Could it be that these behaviors serve to fulfill a need that cannot be met in reality?

It is recommended that you attempt to accept yourself and your past. Regardless of the circumstances of your past, it is likely that they occurred for a reason at that specific point in time.

The future is inherently unpredictable. However, one can develop a plan to ensure that when unexpected events occur, one is not left feeling helpless.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you.

I would like to extend my sincerest congratulations.

Hello, question asker!

I'm thrilled to have answered your question!

I can tell you with absolute certainty that you can completely dismiss these concerns!

The fact that you had a relationship and then the other person just disappeared without a trace is proof that the other person has a weak personality and is avoiding responsibility. This is great news for you!

A person with a sound mind and normal social skills who wants to break up after the passion has died down will definitely ask the other person nicely to do so.

The fact that the man you met didn't do so means he's afraid of being rejected by you. This proves he's lacking in self-confidence, which means he'll be eager to take responsibility and continue the relationship!

And there's almost no chance that someone who lacks confidence could blackmail their ex by going public about their affair.

At the very least, let's assume that he has behaved in this way. Given his psychological strength, you have the upper hand! Respond directly and criticize his despicable character, and he will quickly be on the losing side psychologically.

What's more, there's absolutely no reason to worry about the moral or legal implications. You can put your mind completely at ease on that front.

I highly recommend blocking all his contact information and erasing all traces of his existence to completely relieve yourself mentally. This will greatly enhance your sense of security and prevent these things from causing you to think, "He might still come looking for me."

I truly believe that with the passage of time, you will no longer have any emotional fluctuations towards this person!

I wish you all the happiness in the world!

Hello Baozi, I'm listening therapist E Liying. What a coincidence! I'm also 26 years old, just cured of generalized anxiety, and I'm also taking medication. I really hope my reply can help you in some way!

I have also been depressed, anxious, and taken medication. Putting myself in your shoes, although our symptoms and causes may be different, I can especially understand that you are subjectively suffering greatly at this moment. But I also know that you will get through this!

I'm so sorry for you!

I'm so excited to go through what you are going through at the moment!

I'm so excited to start! You mentioned that you were diagnosed with anxiety and depression.

I see that you described it like this:

You had a boyfriend online a year ago, and it was a wild ride! After having sex, the other person disappeared, but what a ride it was!

This gave you a strong sense of abandonment.

? Especially after you entered a new relationship and got back together with your first boyfriend, you found that you were always insecure.

Bao, I'm excited to tell you that depression is simply thinking about the past.

This incident may have hurt you deeply, and it seems that you have not been able to adequately express your emotions. But you can! These emotions may be stuck inside you, making you feel unhappy and depressed. But you can get them out!

This experience has led to multiple concerns, and I'm excited to tackle them head-on!

I'm excited to see what my ex-boyfriend has done with our intimate acts!

I'm excited to see what he's got in store for me next! I can't wait to find out if he's been secretly monitoring our intimate behavior and posting it online.

I'm excited to see what happens next! I'm worried that the explicit chat logs I previously exchanged with other netizens online will be exposed.

It's a total disaster for you to "publicize intimate behavior" and "expose chat records."

This seems to indicate that you are not a good girl, which means there's room for improvement! It may also affect your current romantic life, but you can work through it.

And there's another thing! You've got this additional layer of anxiety, which is:

You have been prescribed medication, and it will work soon!

This may strengthen your sense of helplessness, as it seems to indicate that the situation will not improve for a period of time. But don't worry! You will get through this. You will emerge from this period of poor somatic response and psychological imbalance, and you will find a way to break the vicious cycle.

But I'm sure you won't, because you're already looking for help!

You have taken the courageous step of sharing your pain and helplessness on the Yixinli platform. You have bravely spoken out about the problems that trouble you, which may be difficult to talk about. Throughout your narrative, you have been methodical and well-founded, which shows that you are very clear about your current situation and have high expectations for the help that psychology can give you.

I'm so proud of you for having the courage to express your sexual concerns on this platform! You are amazing!

At the same time, I, as a semi-experienced person, would also like to say a few words about my own experience!

1⃣️ How to deal with being unreachable: whoever is at fault, pays the price

First of all, about your ex-boyfriend who lost contact with you, you kindly believed in him and were willing to fall in love with him. It was supposed to be a two-way relationship, but he suddenly lost contact with you, which was against his will. As other respondents have said, even if he comes back one day to stir up trouble, he is in the wrong and should be punished by law.

Girl, you absolutely have to trust your lover! It's a virtue, and you've got it in spades!

2⃣️ Intimate behavior and chat records:

In this day and age, cohabitation before marriage is the norm for many young people, and let's not forget about having sex!

I'm the same age as you, sister. I'm so lucky because most parents around me don't disapprove of, or object to, premarital sex. In fact, among my colleagues of the same age, five girls are living together before marriage! And among the girls of the same age I know, almost none have not had sex.

And let's not forget that food and sex are also closely related! In this day and age, girls have every right to talk about sex, have sex, and even enjoy sex.

So, being intimate with a guy or having explicit chats with a stranger shouldn't be used as an excuse to judge or suppress you on a social level.

I totally get it! Every girl needs to feel safe and secure, and that's absolutely okay!

The past is in the past, and there are so many things we can do now!

So, what can we do to avoid similar situations in the future?

Maybe the character of [your boyfriend] will be more important, and maybe you will post less explicit comments online in the future!

You're doing great! I can see that you're aware that the boyfriend you're talking about online may not be reliable, so you're choosing a more well-informed first love boyfriend. You're already taking steps to protect yourself more!

4⃣️ Use what is given: The quote from psychologist Adler in "The Courage to Be Disliked" goes:

It's not about what you're given, it's about how you use it!

So, what is your "anxiety and depression" trying to tell you? Could it be trying to help you develop a previously non-existent ability?

Anxiety and depression are awful, but you've also shown incredible courage in seeking Western medicine treatment. It's a big step, but it shows how much you value your health and want to live a full life.

Mencius said something really interesting. He said that when Heaven wants to give someone a big task, it tests them in all kinds of ways. It tests their mind, their body, and even their very existence. It makes their path full of challenges so that they can grow stronger and overcome their limits. All of the best ideas and achievements come after a lot of hard work and struggle.

I truly believe there is an important idea or breakthrough waiting for you to discover!

4⃣️ Get the help you need from a psychotherapist or counselor!

Your words are few and concise, and they may not tell the whole story. But that's okay! Sometimes I regard my anxiety, depression, and other emotions that I suppress inside as a malignant tumor of the soul.

This tumor contained a lot of dirty venom, and it was not suitable for keeping anywhere. I was afraid that it would dirty everyone I told, but I was also excited to find out who could help me get rid of it!

I later discovered that there are people who specialize in dealing with this venom. They are not afraid of getting dirty. They care about one thing and one thing only: that after the tumor is removed, there is a relaxed and carefree soul.

Treasure, someone will truly care about you, stand by your side, hold your hand, and face your illness and suffering together with you!

In short, dear little whale, it was so nice to meet you!

The listening therapist is online and ready to listen!

Hello there!

I'm a heart exploration coach, and I believe that learning is the treasure of the body.

From what you've told me, I can really sense how you're feeling inside. It's so clear that you're anxious, worried, depressed, in pain and feeling helpless.

It's totally normal to be worried about past romantic experiences and the trouble caused by the disclosure of chat records. I won't go into detail here, but I have three pieces of advice for you:

First, I suggest you try to accept your current situation, my friend.

I know it might sound a little strange, but I promise you it will help! It will make your heart feel a little lighter, which will help you think about what to do next.

You said that you are a 26-year-old girl who talked to a boyfriend online a year ago, had sex with him, and then lost contact with him. Then you got back together with your first boyfriend, but you have always felt insecure. It's totally understandable! You're afraid that your previous boyfriend will make your intimate relationship public, that he will secretly monitor your intimate behavior and post it online, and that the explicit chat records you had with others online will be exposed. Your concerns and fears are completely valid, because the things you are worried about have happened online, and you have seen or heard about them, so naturally you are worried. Moreover, that man lost contact with you after having sex with you, and you saw his true character, so you are naturally afraid that he will do something despicable. It's also normal. So you have to try to accept your own state, "see" the anxious, worried, and impatient self inside you, which is full of anxiety but temporarily doesn't know what to do. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will be filled with all kinds of negative emotions. You're going to be okay!

It's so important to give yourself the space to accept your current situation. This will help you to embrace change and see it as a natural part of life. It might seem a little strange, but it's true! Change is all about allowing for the unknown.

Secondly, I'd like to suggest that you take a moment to view your own state in a rational way.

Because when you think things through, you can really get to know yourself and the world around you better.

To rationalize, there are just two simple things you need to do:

One thing I want you to remember is that the things you worry about are probably just imaginary in your mind.

You mentioned that you talked about your boyfriend a year ago, and then after having sex, he disappeared. It's been a year now, so it's unlikely that he'll do anything to worry you. It's also possible that he just wanted to have sex with you and didn't expect to threaten or blackmail you because he'd be breaking the law and it would cost him too much. You also said that you're worried about online friends exposing the explicit chat history between you. Have you thought about this? Would it be beneficial for them to do so? They'd also be exposed, and it would cost them a lot. What's the point of the effort? Even if they expose it, who knows that it was you who said it?

And even if someone knows that you said it, it's no big deal, right? And even if you say something explicit, it's still okay. Many people have said it (everyone has a bad side), so you're not alone.

Oh, don't you worry about that! You can always find new friends or a new boyfriend, right?

So, through the above rational thinking, you may well discover that those worries are just imaginary in your mind, and most likely not reality. And you are also most likely able to cope with them, I'm sure!

Second, remember that you have the power to change the status quo. You can do it!

When you put your mind to it, you can make things better for yourself. You have the power to make things better, and time is on your side.

I really think you should focus on yourself and think about what you can do to feel better.

When you take a step back and look at your situation with a cool head, you might even see what you need to do to make things better. At this point, it's time to focus on yourself and do your best.

Let's say you start to worry and feel anxious again. You can tell yourself, "Hey, those worries are probably just in your head. They may not be true, and even if they are true, you've got this! You can handle them." After you've repeated this to yourself a few times, you might start to feel better.

You can also tell yourself, "That was a year ago, it hasn't happened yet, and it's highly unlikely to happen. I should focus on the current relationship, otherwise the losses will outweigh the gains." After having a conversation with yourself like this, you can focus some of your attention on the current relationship, so you won't be as anxious or depressed, and it will also help to stabilize the current relationship, killing two birds with one stone.

You can also distract yourself when you are feeling anxious or depressed by doing other things you enjoy, such as exercising, reading, listening to music, etc. This kind of distraction can help you feel better, and such actions can also relax you.

When you're feeling anxious or depressed, it can be really helpful to let your thoughts flow freely without stopping them. This free association can help you realize that those thoughts are unlikely to happen. Even though anxiety might stick around, you can learn to live with it peacefully. This gives you more time and energy to focus on what you need to do in the moment. It's so important to remember that you can do something to improve the situation.

I know it can be tough, but when you start taking action, the various negative emotions in your heart will naturally start to resolve themselves. Believe me, action is sometimes the best medicine!

I really hope my answer helps you! If you'd like to chat some more, just click on "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation" at the bottom and I'll be happy to have a one-on-one conversation with you.