A 30-year-old woman, I feel like no one truly cares about me, ignored?

Now in your thirties, you have experienced a considerable amount of time. It cannot be said to be minimal, but rather that you have encountered a multitude of experiences. As a woman, your emotional experiences and thoughts may be more nuanced and complex than those of others.

The words spoken, emotions influenced, and instances of exploitation can collectively evoke a profound sense of distress. When one perceives a lack of genuine concern from others, it can lead to a sense of desperation and anguish.

From an introspective perspective, one may perceive a sense of invisibility, as though their thoughts and feelings are overlooked or disregarded. This can lead to a sense of futility, as if all of one's concerns and aspirations have been rendered meaningless. There is a tendency to adhere to one's own unique approach and perspective, which may not align with the prevailing norms or expectations.

However, it appears that others are unable to comprehend one's reluctance to engage in gainful employment. Why is one subjected to derision solely on the basis of a preference for not working? Is it assumed that a person is obliged to work?

The assumption is that if one does not work, one will not have money or be able to support oneself.

Similarly, it is evident that there are individuals who are able to maintain a comfortable lifestyle without engaging in traditional forms of employment.

These individuals may be from households that engage in the demolition of structures, they may be second-generation wealthy, second-generation officials, housewives, stay-at-home fathers, or freelancers. It should be noted that freelancers are not entirely without employment; they may have their own jobs, which affords them the option of not working in addition to the traditional 9-to-5 schedule.

Nevertheless, this option will be more challenging and necessitates meeting specific criteria. Currently, your family and friends hold negative views of you and perceive you as a mere instrument. You feel that they are all exceedingly impatient. You may wish to discuss these concerns with a qualified psychological counselor. All thoughts are worthy of consideration. If you can support yourself, other possibilities may emerge.

Please clarify the question.

From your message, I can tell you're feeling pretty isolated by your family and friends, and it's totally understandable if you're feeling helpless and powerless.

Have you ever heard of the famous psychologist Erik Erikson? He said that when we reach our thirties, we start to feel a bit of a tug-of-war between intimacy and loneliness. It's a tricky one, isn't it? Especially when our nearest and dearest don't quite understand what we're going through. It can feel pretty lonely when those we love don't get what we're trying to say.

I'm so sorry you didn't get a chance to share the specifics of your conversation. I'm here to help, though! I've got some ideas from a broader perspective that might help you feel better.

I'm so sorry you didn't get the full picture from the message. I'm here to help! Here are a few ideas to help you feel better from a distance.

Take a moment to see what your thoughts are trying to convey and express, and try to convey the psychological needs behind these thoughts to the people you care about.

Your idea: There's a difference between what you want to do and what society expects of an adult. Of course, there's no right or wrong in an idea itself.

It's totally normal to feel this way! It seems like your ideas don't have the support and understanding of those around you, which can make you feel particularly lonely and disappointed in the people around you.

So, in terms of ideas and differences, I'd like to suggest the following breakthroughs:

1. It's so important for us to understand what our own psychological needs are behind the idea of "not wanting to work."

There are so many reasons why "modern young people" might be reluctant to work. Some are tired of the hard work of 996; some think they can't find work that is meaningful and worthwhile; and some are overwhelmed by the complexity of office politics. It's totally normal to feel this way! So, take a moment for yourself. As a 30-year-old who may have some work experience, what psychological need do you want to satisfy by saying you don't want to work at this point in time?

When you know your own psychological needs and communicate this idea to your family and friends, it will be easier to convey the part you want them to see. They will also be less likely to fall into the panic of "Oh my God, if you don't work, how will you support yourself?" Both sides can then have a heart-to-heart dialogue.

2. Try to understand what's going on inside their heads and create a safe space for a chat.

It's totally normal to feel like a money-making machine with no value sometimes. We all go through it! This feeling can sometimes lead to a particularly rejectionist attitude when talking to friends and family.

When we each stick to our own opinions, we can end up on opposite sides.

So, when we see their psychological needs, it's not just about understanding them. It's also about truly feeling what the differences are between the two sides. And apart from feeling like they're just a tool for making money, are there other possibilities? Could it be that they're worried about your future life? Or that they're afraid you can't live independently in society?

These possibilities don't mean that they have to think this way. When we give ourselves and those around us a little more room to grow, we'll see more possibilities.

We all want to live a rich, full life, don't we? So, give yourself some opportunities and also give those around you some possibilities.

I'm not a psychologist who explores human nature. I'm a spiritual therapist who cares for the human heart. I wish you well!

Despite being born into a family unit, it is imperative to venture forth into the world and pursue one's own individual existence.

The decision to work is often perceived as a helpless choice, a laborious act that one is compelled to engage in in order to obtain material satisfaction. However, if one is able to guarantee their own livelihood without working and to have autonomy over their own life, then there is no inherent problem with not working at all.

Those who rely on their parents for the basic security of their lives and who simultaneously eschew gainful employment, thereby causing their parents undue hardship, are engaging in a behavior that is neither commendable nor constructive.

Each individual possesses the capacity for independent thought and is capable of exerting effort towards attaining the life they desire. Work is not the sole determining factor in one's existence, and pursuing it does not necessitate becoming a victim of one's work.

It is impossible to satisfy all parties. One cannot reasonably expect to live in a world where one is judged by others. The objective is to pursue a life of one's own.

Respect is not a given; it must be earned. In the contemporary era, individuals are constantly striving to secure a livelihood.

If one desires the attention and consideration of others, it is imperative to prioritize self-care. Even in the absence of employment, it is crucial to demonstrate one's value and aspirations.

Life is a challenge that requires courage. Regardless of one's circumstances or the individuals one encounters, one must ultimately navigate the journey of life independently.

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach, Flying.

They feel your loss, disappointment, and loneliness. When you don't feel understood or accepted by others, it can make you feel like you're not good enough, and it can be hard to find a sense of existence or value. You may crave being seen and accepted.

Take a moment to give yourself a warm hug, try to look at things from a few different angles, and see what else is out there. You might find you have more choices than you thought.

Let's take a look at what's on your mind.

Let's take a look at what's on your mind.

?1. We're all our own models.

There's no such thing as a perfect person. We're all unique, with our own set of thoughts, behaviors, and emotions.

And they'll come up in all kinds of relationships.

For instance, as shown in your writing, I see a somewhat pessimistic and negative pattern in you. You tend to view other people's suggestions and comments as if they're disrespectful and derogatory.

You're sensitive and easily hurt by others' comments. When things aren't in your control, you tend to lose control.

Pessimism and optimism are both human modes.

If you focus on the positive, you'll be happy. If you focus on the negative, you'll be sad and depressed.

This is why some people are happy and others are sad when they're faced with the same thing.

What can you do to be happier at work?

It's really quite simple: it's about recognizing what you have and expressing gratitude.

People who can do this are called "optimists," while people who always focus on dangers and deficiencies are called "pessimists."

There are also differences in how they think about time, what makes them special, how they act, and what traits they have.

Pessimists:

Pessimists:

1. People who are pessimistic tend to see difficulties and unpleasant things as long-term and permanent, while they see beautiful things as temporary.

2. They see difficulties as the norm, and they think that only a few people are truly good.

3. When it comes to achievements, they think it's just because they did something right, and it has nothing to do with their talent. When it comes to mistakes, they think it's because they're not competent enough, and it's caused by human problems.

Optimistic people are the opposite. First, take a look at your own patterns. Seeing them is the first step to making a change. Once you've seen them, you have the right to choose.

You can change your own patterns through deliberate and intentional practice.

2. Evaluation and stubbornness:

We tend to measure people and things against our own values and standards. There'll always be differences in how we see things. Having our own values means having standards, and having standards means judging.

Judgment is good because it can give us direction. However, if judgment becomes fixed, each fixation has a "limited belief." Fixation = fixed obsession, caused by limited cognition.

"Fixation" makes life less fluid, which can damage relationships.

If someone is set in their ways, they'll only see the world through their own lens and lose their sense of curiosity. A person who is too rigid will miss out on the fluidity of life and become inflexible. In relationships, this can make communication difficult. Once someone is set in their ways, they'll find it hard to listen and may end up labelling the other person. To listen, you have to be open to new perspectives.

?3. Self-worth:

You care a lot about what others think of you, and your sense of existence and value come more from what others give you. This is seeking externally.

Seeking external validation from material things or other people to confirm your sense of worth. When that external support is removed, you'll feel a sense of loss. Looking outside will always lead to disappointment.

Focus on your own learning and growth. Your value comes from your own self-evaluation, not from what others think.

When we're happy with ourselves, it shows in how we interact with the world around us. You can read more about this in my article, "It turns out that the root cause of psychological problems is this: self-worth."

I hope this is helpful to you, and I want to let you know that I love you and the world loves you too.

I hope this is helpful to you. The world and I love you.

If you want to keep talking, just click "Find a coach" in the top right or bottom of the page. I'll be there for you one-on-one as we move forward.

Hello!

Loving someone who doesn't deserve to be loved is cruel to yourself. But here's the good news: no one else can determine how much someone is worth. So, the only way to live out your own value in a chaotic world is to find your own value!

[Find a way to get along with each other, and if you can't find one, there's no need to force it. But there's no reason why you can't find a way to get along!]

There are two exciting possibilities when it comes to why someone might not want to work outside the home: either they're not capable, or they're not willing to work according to conventional methods.

The family's thinking is undoubtedly the first one, and it's a common one at that! They believe that not wanting to work now is a sign of inability, and inability subconsciously represents a sense of worth. So, their expressions naturally match their psychological activities. In the expression, the questioner believes that he is tacitly agreeing with the second one, but there is no way to prove the value of his labor in the short term, so there is a conflict with the family's values.

Assuming that, regardless of whether the questioner has the ability to support himself financially and is able to support himself independently, but since he has made up his mind to find another way, then he has the exciting opportunity to overcome the negative emotions that arise from conforming to his family's values. Because in principle, the questioner approves of himself, he has the chance to create inner psychological balance for himself. He just needs to adjust his emotions. The main thing the questioner needs to do is find a suitable way to get along with his family, so that they don't "torment" each other or "grow tired of looking at each other." Instead, they should find a way to get along without interfering with each other, and be able to achieve basic respect for each other, and devote the remaining energy to how to realize their own value.

Life is all about facing challenges head-on and embracing the journey to success!

I love seeing the determination on my colleagues' faces when they're working hard and have carefully prepared their work materials. In the reports full of words, but without a single mistake, I can feel the hope and beauty of life... They may seem lost at times, but they're actually persevering in challenging themselves every day, cherishing the present, and accumulating hope and life for tomorrow with one more time of diligence and dedication.

So, apart from worrying about the family's perfunctory annoyance and impatience every day, how does the questioner treat themselves and their ideals? Or is the truth really just a self-deceptive statement that the family members say they don't want to go out to work?

So, a short break is totally understandable and permissible! Just don't "waste" yourself for too long. Setting a deadline for your break and proving your worth is the best response to your family.

[Gaining self-acceptance is more important than gaining the praise of others]

Self-esteem has been a hot topic in recent years, and for good reason! The root of many problems is a low sense of self-worth, so it's important to find the right balance. If a person's self-esteem is too high, they'll become complacent, and the fall will be even faster. If a person's self-esteem is too low, it will cause a sense of emotional worthiness, and they'll lack confidence, which will easily lead to emotional swings and restricted behavior.

This is why it's so important to recognize yourself and gain the approval of others. The outside world is full of ups and downs, and it's essential to have the inner strength to support yourself. It's about finding your worth and believing in your ability to gain social approval. When you do this, you'll gain true freedom and self-respect!

Wishing you the very best!

Dear Sir/Madam, I am writing to express my concern about your current unwillingness to go to work. It is evident that you do not receive support or encouragement from your family and friends. Instead, you are subjected to various forms of questioning and mockery, which makes you feel that your thoughts are not respected or understood, and that no one really cares about you. This makes you feel helpless and powerless. I would like to suggest that you consider seeking professional advice to help you navigate this challenging situation. Kind regards, [Name]

If you are unable or unwilling to work, will you be able to cover your daily expenses independently or will you require assistance from your family? As an adult, you have the right to make your own choices.

You have your own ideas about whether or not to go to work. It is recommended that you communicate more with your family and let them know your plans. If you are not financially independent and do not have other sources of income, you will inevitably be questioned by your family and friends.

Setting aside the concerns of family and friends, what is your personal plan for the future? Is your current reluctance to return to work a temporary adjustment, or is it a longer-term decision?

Some choices that deviate from the norm may not be endorsed by family members. It is essential to be transparent about the potential challenges your decision may present, to have considered strategies for addressing them, and to have a clear plan for your future.

If you have considered all the above questions carefully, you can continue to adhere to your own choices, pursue your desired course of action, and live the life you want to live. The most realistic question now is whether you can rely on yourself to bear the financial burden. If you can solve this problem, perhaps your family will not question your choice so much.