A high school girl, should she go solo at school or should she hang out with classmates?

Thank you for your inquiry. I am currently engaged in independent study.

First and foremost, it is important to recognize that feelings of loneliness are not uncommon among students. At times, the desire to be like other students and have friends can be strong. However, it is essential to understand why you are consistently alone. Is it because you do not connect with other students?

Do you feel like you don't fit in? Have you ever considered that the issue may not be entirely your responsibility?

I would like to offer a few suggestions for your consideration.

Firstly, if you feel that you cannot integrate with other students, then do not force yourself to do so. Perhaps it is not your personality or temperament, but rather the fact that your experiences and ideas are different. Secondly, as the saying goes, "Those who associate with scoundrels become scoundrels, and those who associate with honest people become honest." I am currently reflecting on this saying. I believe it is important to consider who we spend our time with. Spending time with individuals who possess positive qualities will positively influence our own behaviour. Similarly, spending time with individuals who possess tolerant qualities will positively influence our own tolerance levels. Furthermore, spending time with individuals who possess happy qualities will positively influence our own happiness levels.

Secondly, there is a saying that goes, "Those who associate with reds become red, and those who associate with blacks become black." I am currently considering this saying in the context of professional relationships. I believe that the individuals with whom we spend our time are of great consequence. Our interactions with those who embody positive qualities, such as integrity and intelligence, can positively influence our own personal and professional growth. Similarly, spending time with individuals who demonstrate tolerance, happiness, and a passion for reading can foster a positive outlook and enhance our well-being. Therefore, it is essential to identify the groups and individuals with whom we associate and assess whether they have a constructive and beneficial impact on our lives.

Furthermore, you mentioned that you often observe other individuals engaging in these activities in pairs, subsequently returning to the dormitory together. This situation has led to feelings of discomfort and isolation. As a potential solution, you may consider purchasing books. Books have the potential to serve as a valuable source of companionship, particularly when it comes to authors. By immersing oneself in the pages of a book, one can foster a sense of wisdom and discernment. It is essential to identify the underlying reasons for the lack of social connections. Initially, it is crucial to assess whether personal factors may be contributing to this situation. If so, it is possible to make adjustments. However, if external factors are at play, it may be necessary to maintain a sense of independence and learn in a self-directed manner.

It is important to note that there are channels between people. Are you and your classmates on the same channel? It is also beneficial to engage in activities that do not require social interaction, such as reading and listening to music. Gradually become accustomed to being alone. At the same time, it is likely that there are many individuals in the world who are on the same channel as you, but you have not yet met them. Therefore, the fact that you do not have friends means that you are still on the wrong channel. Now that you are a sophomore, it is crucial to prioritize academic excellence, dedication, and admission to a renowned university. This will allow you to interact with individuals who are on the same frequency as you. As I previously stated, "Those who rub against the red will become red, and those who rub against the black will become black." The more outstanding you are, the more outstanding the people you meet will be. At the same time, being with outstanding people will enhance your own outstanding qualities. Therefore, it is not the lack of friends that is the primary concern, but rather the manner in which we interact with outstanding individuals. If you desire to meet outstanding people, it is essential to work diligently to improve yourself.

I will conclude my response by stating that I, too, experience feelings of loneliness on occasion. However, it was not until I encountered a suitable group of individuals that I came to understand that the issue was not with me, but rather with the environment. Consequently, I now select my partners based on my preferences rather than allowing my feelings to dictate the choice. I adapt myself to align with their characteristics. I hope you will soon meet someone with whom you have a similar connection. While loneliness is not inherently frightening, acquiescing to the status quo can be challenging.

Hello, classmate, I am Teacher Shan Qi. I teach high school and homeroom. I have also encountered students with similar experiences as yours, and I hope that my answer can be of help to you!

From your writing, I can sense your loneliness, and I also perceive your kindness towards others. You are on your own, and you observe that all your classmates are in pairs or groups of three or five, laughing and talking together, chatting with each other. You must be touched, and you want to integrate with them, but you also have your own concerns. Your sense of loneliness really comes through in your writing, and it resonates with me as well!

I appreciate your consideration and thoughtfulness. You mentioned that you are a slow burner, which I admire. It's clear that you care deeply about the people around you and consider their feelings. You're also mindful of how your actions affect others, which is a quality I find admirable. Many people are self-centered, but you're different. You're kind and attentive to others, which makes you a great friend.

This is your strength, but it can also become an obstacle if we don't make good use of it. It's important to consider the people around you and not be afraid to speak your mind. Sometimes, it's better to be alone than to be like that.

Perhaps we can view the situation from a different angle. It's not that you can't make friends or that you don't want to, but rather that you haven't yet encountered a classmate with whom you can engage in conversation. You haven't yet met someone who also considers the people around them.

The teacher suggests that you try not to worry and to relax. First, it might be helpful to take a moment to reflect on the current situation. It's not necessary to cater to others. When someone finds us to chat with, we can interact with them in a way that is serious and sincere. Treating people with honesty can help them to discover the kindness and beauty in us.

If no one comes to us, we might consider doing our own thing: reading books, doing some exercises, memorizing some texts and words, or finding something that we are interested in or like to do. If we do these things well, we may meet people who share our interests and hobbies, and we might become good friends because we like the same things!

I hope my answer is helpful to you. Please don't hesitate to ask me any questions you may have.

I hope your studies are going well and that you are enjoying them.

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from afar as a gesture of solidarity and support.

I am aware of your feelings of loneliness, your longing for self-acceptance-yet-still-struggle-to-accept-the-past-self-9544.html" target="_blank">acceptance, your need for belonging, and your fear of being excluded, disliked, and isolated.

From your request for assistance, it is evident that you are afflicted by an internal inferiority complex, a lack of self-confidence, and a certain degree of self-rejection. However, you are not particularly aware of this aspect of your inner strength, which results in your unconscious projection of the emotions of not accepting yourself onto the people around you. This leads you to believe that the people around you will not accept such a self either.

Accordingly, the key to transforming this passive and isolated social dynamic is to cultivate self-acceptance, self-confidence, and a sense of self-worth. One approach to fostering self-acceptance is to create a list of one's strengths, which can facilitate recognition of both shortcomings and strengths.

One may cultivate self-confidence and enhance one's sense of self-worth by maintaining a gratitude journal. Additionally, developing a greater number of interests and passions in life may facilitate greater control over one's circumstances.

It is important to allow oneself to be imperfect in relationships, to be true to oneself, and to express one's needs honestly. Rejection or denial does not necessarily indicate that one is unworthy; it may simply reflect a lack of compatibility or a mismatch in types.

It is this author's recommendation that the reader peruse the text entitled "How to Overcome Social Anxiety."

My name is Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. I extend my love to the world and to you.

Hello, I'm Flower.

From the questioner's words, I can sense the internal conflict and loneliness. It's evident that the questioner desires companionship but struggles to communicate effectively. This is a normal phase in personal growth. With time and effort, we can cultivate meaningful friendships.

Let's weigh the pros and cons of being alone.

John Donne said it best: "No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the whole." Every person is an independent individual.

There are clear advantages to being alone. You can think independently and in depth, and you can freely choose the life you want to lead, with relatively few restrictions. At the same time, being alone may make people lack contact with the outside world. This kind of communication can only happen between yourself and yourself, which is relatively limited.

It's simple: you have an apple, I have an apple, and together we have two apples. If you have an opinion and I have an opinion, and we collide, then we have a more diverse experience!

Let's look at the pros and cons of two people.

In relationships between two people, whether they are current classmates, friends, or future lovers, there will inevitably be inconsistencies or disagreements. The questioner is wrong to say that doing things together is a waste of time.

"Wasting time" is undoubtedly one of the disadvantages. After reading this, I'm compelled to ask: why can't we waste time?

Let's look beyond the idea of "wasting time" and see what we've gained. This also brings us to the benefits of getting along with two people. Friends can provide each other with companionship, support, care, and love.

This feeling of being cared for is the flow of love between people. When you are down, a kind word of comfort and encouragement from a friend gives you the courage and motivation to move on.

I'm going to weigh up the pros and cons of being in a group.

"I'm alone now, but when I go to gym class and see all my classmates hanging out together, I feel awkward and uncomfortable being the only one left out. What should I do?"

A group of people are lively and boisterous. This may be seen as an advantage by those who like noise and a disadvantage by those who prefer quiet. When we go beyond textbook learning, we may discover that there are many things that are difficult to do alone. However, if a group of people cooperate with each other and work together, the team's cohesion, mutual support, and encouragement are really great!

In a group of people, we can discover the good points of others and learn a lot from them. We can also discover our own good points and increase our sense of self-identification and existence.

Back to the original question: "Should you go it alone at school or be with your classmates?" The answer to this question is not the key. The key is learning to handle interpersonal relationships and conflicts within yourself, and being comfortable with yourself while still being able to be with your friends.

At school, classmates always go in pairs to eat, go back to the dormitory, do exercises, and play together during physical education class.

I am not proactive and slow to warm up. I am not good at making friends, but I am working on it.

I also consider the needs of others and am unafraid to express my own needs.

I refuse to do everything to please others.

When you see others walking in groups, do you feel envious? Or do you really have this need yourself? You need to balance the relationship between "inner needs" and "social interaction."

The questioner must ask themselves where the need to make friends comes from. Is it the hope of getting the other person's attention, the hope of having someone to keep them company, or something else? At the same time, the questioner must understand that friends are mutual. While we need the company of others, the other person also needs us.

We must be considerate of others, express our needs, and recognize that we don't have to agree with everyone on everything. However, we must communicate sincerely with each other and understand that this friendship is a mutual commitment.

The questioner can believe that everyone is worthy of love and friendship. Even slow and warm people can have their own friends. Just go with the flow. Start with shaking hands, saying "hello," and joining in the group activities in gym class. Choose what you want to do and like to do.

I am confident that the above sharing will be helpful to the original poster. Best wishes!

You may find answers to your questions here. I am pleased to be of assistance, so I will give you a thumbs-up! Here are a few pointers that I hope will be helpful:

It is not advisable to expend time waiting and compromising. It will become evident that there are numerous individuals who comprehend your perspective and share your thoughts, so this is not a significant issue.

It is a source of discomfort when you observe your colleagues engaging in activities together during a team-building exercise and you feel excluded. When you are eager to proceed at a faster pace, you may perceive a slower pace as a hindrance, yet when it comes to group activities, you may feel isolated on your own.

How should such an awkward situation be handled? One solution is to form teams on an ad hoc basis and cultivate friendships in one's spare time.

Forming ad hoc teams is an effective method for overcoming personal discomfort. Proactively engaging with classmates is an efficient way to communicate and build relationships. Sports are about collective strength and the power of cooperation. After sports, there will be plenty to talk about, and you will be able to engage in in-depth conversation when you meet again.

It is often necessary to invest time and patience to cultivate a friendship. One strategy is to take the initiative to become the third person in the friendship between the other two. Alternatively, you can seek out someone who, like you, is not inclined to engage in lengthy conversations. When it is time to cooperate, you can assume the role, and when it is not, you can simply focus on your own tasks. When developing a friendship, it is essential to be willing to compromise and to assist each other.

It is important to strike a balance between maintaining your individuality and fully enjoying the benefits of youth. You have the capacity to achieve this, so I encourage you to do so.

I extend my warmest regards to you all!