A prospective high school sophomore, with a strained relationship with his parents, doesn't even have the right to think?

You must have had many moments of self-doubt. Praise yourself for getting through difficult times and going to middle school and high school. You are no longer dependent on others for recognition and encouragement. You are about to become an adult and you have the ability to praise yourself!

The goal of the solution should be to deal with the problem, not to reform or criticize a person. You shouldn't blame your family for the problem. It's just something we need to overcome.

To solve a problem, first recognize it.

If you can describe what happened and generalize the commonalities, it means you haven't been defeated by this way of interacting after more than ten years. You can still clearly understand it isn't your fault and that it has given you insights into relationships. You can also express your expectations. You've already taken the first step in solving the problem.

Is your family's reaction always the biggest trigger for you emotionally?

Parents are happy to see their energetic and intelligent children, but they also worry. They are afraid that their kids will become too opinionated and uncontrollable, that they will act without thinking, and that they will attract trouble. Some parents can handle these fears on their own, while others must immediately deal with this sense of loss of control. Perhaps after trying many times, they have discovered that borrowing the strengths of others to compensate for your weaknesses is the best way to quickly suppress the little monster, and they have been using this trick ever since.

People who interact with you this way don't want to make you sad and lost. They know it's effective.

Try reacting calmly and see if it helps.

It's like a preview of society.

Some people will always be unfriendly to you. Not everyone will treat you the way you expect. Some people may even try to suppress you. You will eventually have to face these people. Your family is a small society. Family members treat you like part of society. If your family has treated you badly, I hope you can face society more calmly in the future.

"Getting into a key middle school and then going to high school in Beijing," it's clear you're the "other people's child" and have been used as an example of how other people raise their children. But you're also being educated and spurred on by the "other people's children," despite being so outstanding.

This is probably the most common method used by most parents to educate their children: in order to make their children work harder, they can always find someone better in every aspect to set as an example and use as a motivator for their children.

It's important to focus on your own performance and not worry about how you compare to others.

Sports and basketball students compared

Socializing with other people's college graduates is better than

Your description is spot on. I can feel your frustration and sense of inadequacy. It seems that no matter how hard you try, you can never live up to your parents' expectations.

We don't have control over our lives, not even the "right to think." When we don't have autonomy, we feel rebellious and hopeless.

How do you break out of this situation? I'm sharing a few ideas that you might find helpful.

First, parents' words and actions that we might perceive as negative are actually a reflection of their love for us.

In all relationships, family members are the only ones we don't get to choose.

Every parent loves their child, but in different ways. Or maybe it's a way of love you don't agree with or accept.

Given the above two points, can we try to be more calm and less intolerant when we think about the words and actions of our parents that annoy or even disgust us?

When they encourage you to go out and exercise more, they say that health is the most important thing and that you shouldn't stay at home all day.

When you're out with your classmates, you'll hear them say that other kids are studying, but you'll know you're the only one playing.

They say they want me to socialize with others, but then they keep me at home.

They say they want me to manage my time, but then they pack my schedule with too many activities.

The above text is really contradictory and overwhelming. Do you still feel like your parents care about your physical health and interpersonal relationships, even though they're also worried about your academic performance? They want to believe that you'll work hard at your studies, but they also want to help you manage your time.

All you can see is one word: anxiety.

It can be hard to know how to handle your parents' tightly-controlled arrangements, and they might also be concerned about how to educate you in a way that is really good for you. They've just chosen what they think is the best way for you to grow up, and they're doing their best.

While the chosen method may not be scientific or reasonable, and you may not be able to accept it immediately, they have selected the method they believe is best for your growth and have done their best.

Second, take the initiative to organize your own learning and life, and build a reputation for reliability.

Parents' anxieties often stem from a lack of trust. They may worry that you won't study hard enough, get enough rest, know how to get along with others, or manage your time effectively. One way to alleviate these concerns is to become reliable and trustworthy.

Take the initiative to arrange your own studies and life, and let your parents know what you've got going on. Show them you've got this, so they don't need to worry anymore.

Of course, their anxiety will go down, and they'll stop trying to plan your life for you.

Finally, communicate actively to take the initiative in your own life.

Some parents are just very stubborn and don't trust their children, no matter how well they behave.

The older generation tends to think, "I've seen it all, and I've been around. Kids are too young to know better, and they should always listen to me."

Parents often feel pain as their children grow up. They may think their children are still the same sweet little ones they used to hold in their arms and take care of, but in reality, their children have grown up without them noticing. They have their own ideas and plans and want to take control of their lives.

Once the parents and child have resolved their differences, the parents can accept that the child has grown up and the child can truly start to develop their own identity.

In this process of conflict and pain, neither blind rebellion nor endurance will solve the problem. Both sides need to clearly understand each other's thoughts in order to bridge the gap.

So, you can talk to your parents about how you feel and what you think. Let them know you've thought about their advice and that you've got your own plans for the future. You've probably done a lot of research and thought about the pros and cons.

You can't just wait around for the right to control your life to come back to you. You have to fight for it. Show your strength and win your parents' trust.

Best of luck!

Hello, question asker!

It's tough to give you advice on all the confusion of adolescence in just a short description of 300 words or so. But I really hope I can chat with you a little in my answer and be there for you with words when you feel lost and need to be understood.

There are two kinds of distance: geographical and psychological.

It's no secret that parent-child relationships can get pretty tricky during the teenage years. It's totally normal for families to go through some ups and downs during this time. When you head to Beijing from Sichuan to study, the distance will give you a bit more space to breathe. But when you come back to Sichuan on holiday, you'll also get to enjoy a little more attention from your parents than usual.

They'll probably evaluate your every move and make demands, which for you is like being deprived of your independence and freedom of control. I'm sure they don't mean to, but it might feel like they're trying to shorten the distance between hearts, which is the opposite of what you want.

It's so important to understand each other! That's the first step in communication.

In your first sentence, you used the word "quasi-senior high school student." I'm guessing you want to say that you're actually an adolescent who is about to become an adult. But in your description, it seems like your family still treats you like a primary school or junior high school student. They're filling your schedule with activities, comparing you to others, and hovering around you asking questions.

You don't like it, but you don't have a better way to change them for the time being, so you feel distressed. I can see how that would be tough! Standing in the shoes of your parents, they may not be able to adapt to the sudden growth of your independence after studying abroad for a year.

And for them, the long period of time during which they knew very little about your situation can create a huge sense of unfamiliarity and loss. It's totally understandable that their anxiety seems to be relieved when they treat you in the way they were used to.

It's time for them to let go of the past and embrace your newfound independence. They need to accept that you're growing up and becoming your own person.

[There is bound to be a battle to upgrade and pass]

[There is bound to be a battle to pass the upgrade]

From what I can see, you're doing great! You're a capable high school student, and you've already proven that you can handle the challenges of growing up. Getting into a top middle school and then a high school in Beijing was no easy feat, and it took a lot of hard work.

You're doing great! It's so impressive that you're studying away from home without your family. And you're taking the initiative to ask for help when you need it. You're a great independent learner and you're very capable of taking care of yourself. It's also wonderful that you can arrange to go out with your classmates and that you have so many friends to keep you company. Keep up the great work!

Then, parents may be a challenge that tests your ability to handle pressure and communicate. You've got this! I know you can successfully pass this test before you turn 18 and become an adult.

I really hope that the person asking the questions can feel more relaxed during their teenage years, do their best, and grow up with their family.

Hello, classmate. I see you're confused. I give you a hug!

You're facing some family problems. Please let me give you a hug.

Your parents don't distinguish between your life and their own.

Your parents will want to plan your life.

In their generation, parents took care of everything.

They don't know this is a bad approach.

This way, you can stop your classmates from having the same problem.

You're a soon-to-be sophomore. You have your own thoughts.

Tell your parents if you don't like how they always arrange everything for you.

If you don't tell your parents, they won't know you're unhappy.

If they don't change, accept them for who they are.

I hope you find a solution soon.

I'm out of ideas.

I hope my answers help and inspire you. I am the answer, and I study hard every day.

Yixinli loves you! Best wishes!

Hi there!

Take a deep breath and relax.

The story is short but it shows a common problem in many families, which is "parental anxiety." Parents often unintentionally pass on their own stress to their children because of their own life pressures. They may seem to encourage their children, but this is also because they are in a state of extreme anxiety, which is a way of asking their children to work harder to feel secure. Young children cannot understand their parents' situation, which will lead to more distress and psychological problems.

From the parents' perspective:

As parents, they usually have high expectations for their children. They'll do their best to support their children's growth, even if this support isn't always suitable for the child or what the child really desires psychologically. However, parents are unable to realize this part of the problem, and they'll only feel the pressure of external competition. Worried that they'll miss the opportunity for their children to learn and grow due to their own negligence, they'll constantly remind their children to "work hard" and "not fall behind." In fact, even if their children truly meet their expectations, they'll still worry and feel anxiety in their hearts, because life is a process of constantly solving problems, not a state of eternal stability.

From the child's perspective:

Young children don't have fully developed minds, so they often see things subjectively. Even if they understand their parents' point of view, they may still have trouble understanding their parents' actions. When this happens, they might start to believe that their parents don't love them or care about their feelings. This can make it harder for the parent-child relationship to grow in a healthy way.

How can we handle the conflicts that arise in parent-child relationships?

1. Have a good, open conversation with your parents about how you feel.

It's harder to communicate with parents than with other people your own age. But you still have your own thoughts and feelings, and you have the right to express them. If your parents don't pay attention to you, it can affect your emotional health. So, when problems arise, communicate with them promptly to resolve them. You can also express your feelings and thoughts bravely. Even if your parents don't understand at first, you can still ask them to pay attention to you. This will help them realize the gap between your feelings and their own thoughts. Then, they can adjust their thoughts and behavior.

2. Try to see things from your parents' point of view.

For kids, a happy family is one where they feel motivated and cared for. When they see that their family is full of disagreements and anxiety, kids will instinctively hold back from sharing their true thoughts. They'll also have mixed feelings about their parents' understanding. On the one hand, they know that their parents love them, but on the other hand, they find it difficult to understand the love their parents give them. This can create an inner sense of division. Kids can't always see their parents' actions from a broader perspective. Parents are also ordinary people who feel pressure and anxiety. When kids try to understand their parents, it can help reduce doubts and conflicts about their feelings. But the real solution is communication.

3. It's okay to have negative emotions and understand yourself.

I know there are people out there who seem to have it all together, but I can't be like them. I really tried my best. I got into a great middle school and then went to a high school in Beijing. Everything seemed like it had been planned out for me. I didn't even have the right to think for myself. I didn't know what to do anymore.

The self that has always tried to please its parents may have indeed grown up because of their high expectations, but the fatigue it feels inside is also real. The sadness, unhappiness, and frustration it feels from this can be allowed to generate negative emotions. Accepting these emotions will open up an understanding of the self, soothe the self, and find a sense of recovery in balancing emotions. There is no need to always expend oneself in trying to meet the demands of others. Try to affirm your own efforts and slowly you will be able to confirm a higher sense of self-esteem and restore your inner self-confidence.

Stay strong. I'm rooting for you!

I can see you're feeling depressed, angry, helpless, and powerless.

You came from Sichuan and tried to get into a good middle school and high school in Beijing to please your parents.

But when you go home for the holidays, your parents will find fault with you. This makes you feel depressed, annoyed, and irritated, and you don't know how to deal with your parents.

They want you to be better than them but control you. This creates division.

You want to tell them about your depression, but you're afraid of hurting their feelings.

You want your parents to be happy because you make them happy.

You can't save your parents by sacrificing yourself. It's okay to have your own thoughts and feelings.

Parents aren't the answer to everything.

Sometimes parents tell us what to do and demand we follow. This doesn't mean we have to do what they want.

Parents aren't the answer to life. Only we know what we want.

Disobeying your parents, respecting your feelings, and making choices is not a betrayal or rebellion.

Parents need to learn, grow, and face this too.

Parents are often upset with themselves.

Your parents' dissatisfaction is a projection.

They project their own failures and dissatisfaction onto you.

It's not their failure and powerlessness, but yours that has caused their misfortune and suffering.

You need to judge for yourself.

You don't have to agree with your parents. You can tell when they're contradicting themselves.

You need to know what's objective, feasible, subjective, or an excuse.

As you grow up, you will become your true self.

Speak to your parents about your feelings and needs.

When your ideas and your parents' don't match, tell them.

Your parents might be upset at first, but stick to your choices.

This is how you grow up. It's also a chance for your parents to learn and grow.

Best wishes!

Good day,

With the summer vacation period fast approaching, I am unsure if you have already returned home or are still away. Regardless, you are already anticipating the questions you will face upon your return.

Given your age and the distance you have traveled from home to pursue your studies, I am concerned about your ability to cope with the challenges you are facing. I am unsure if you are able to adapt to your new environment, navigate the demands of your studies, and adjust to independent living.

Are you still experiencing significant pressure? Do you have colleagues with whom you can discuss your frustrations?

From your description, it is evident that the current environment is challenging for children. The intensifying social and educational competition, coupled with the rising parental anxieties, are placing undue pressure on children.

It is challenging for young children to be inundated with homework and competition at an early age.

However, it is possible that your family's lack of recognition and understanding of your efforts is a significant source of distress. Despite your best efforts, your family still appears to be dissatisfied.

Nevertheless, they remain unsatisfied with your performance and believe you could be more dedicated and effective. After a challenging semester, you return home, but instead of appreciation and understanding, you encounter further criticism.

Your family members have high expectations of you and compare you to individuals who meet those standards.

Your family members have high expectations of you and compare you to people who meet those standards. It seems that in their eyes, there are only these standards, but not a real child with real emotions and needs.

The voice of the child is seldom expressed or understood, and it appears that the child's voice and feelings are not a priority. This sentiment can lead to a sense of powerlessness and suffocation.

It is likely that your loved ones have been affected by the fast-paced and competitive nature of the modern era. They may experience significant anxiety and insecurity in response to the pressures of this environment.

Such competition may also trigger deeper-seated fears, such as the fear of being left behind by the times or the fear of being inferior to others. They demand strict discipline and expect you to excel at everything, to be better than everyone else, probably as a way to soothe their own inner anxiety.

It appears that providing their next generation with the opportunity to succeed and excel, while avoiding the necessity to confront their own inner anxiety and unease, offers a sense of security. In light of this, can you empathize with the inner needs of your loved ones?

In this society, if each of us can address our own concerns when we are anxious and restless, and can strengthen our resolve, instead of allowing our inner anxiety to impede our decision-making, we will be better equipped to avoid attempting to control others to soothe ourselves.

Do you concur? If we parents can identify our own anxiety about social competition, assess its legitimacy, and maintain equilibrium, we will be better equipped to avoid transmitting our anxiety to our children and to demonstrate greater respect for their pace and needs.

Please indicate whether you concur with this assessment.

The reality is that when we are anxious and uneasy, we tend to subconsciously transfer these feelings to others. Parents, in particular, who also hope that their children develop well, often have very positive intentions. However, when they are anxious, parents may find it challenging to reflect on their own emotions and behaviors. For instance, they may question whether they are being overly demanding of their child due to their own anxiety.

"This approach may inadvertently cause harm to the child." Given the deeply entrenched belief that this is for the child's benefit, it can be challenging to recognize that a significant portion of this influence may be attributed to our own shortcomings in managing our own anxiety and unease.

It is important to recognize that adults in this society face significant pressure and anxiety. If adults are unable to effectively manage these challenges, it can have a detrimental impact on the next generation.

The growth of children will become more challenging. In addition to inadequate care, they must also navigate significant pressure and high expectations from their parents. You likely have a deeper understanding of this issue.

In comparison to the current social climate, the younger generation has had to navigate a less competitive environment, with parents who were less anxious and a lack of pressure to rebel at an early age.

I hope that sharing these insights has provided some measure of relief. I am not in a position to offer direct assistance, but I hope you can see that these high expectations and accusations from your loved ones are not your responsibility.

You have already demonstrated exemplary performance. Given the unique nature of every life, it is imperative to do your best and live the life you want.

If your loved ones are unable to truly see you and understand you, I hope you will understand that it is not because you are not good enough, but because they have fallen into some blind spots and anxieties and are unable to truly see you. I hope that you will not feel that you are not good enough because your loved ones are neglecting you.

I hope you can truly value and appreciate yourself. When you are truly independent, you can confidently pursue your own path and live your own unique life.

I wish you success and happiness.

I can understand how difficult it is for you, but you're doing great! You're a capable and sensible "quasi-senior high school" student. Even if you face a lot of helplessness in life caused by your parents, it is only a short period of confusion, and you actively want to solve it. This is a very good performance!

I want to tell you something really important. Most parents in the world want their children to have the best lives possible. They all try to help their kids in their own way. They just don't have a way to know if they're doing the right thing. They just know it's the right thing to do!

I've got some great advice for you!

1. You absolutely need to have a plan for yourself! Since you are an adult, you get to plan your life and your immediate life in a reasonable way, communicate with your parents to reach a consensus, and do the things you like in the way they like.

2. You should definitely communicate more with your parents about the feelings that their "control" over you brings. The absolute best way to communicate is to do things together that you can both manage, so that your parents can see your incredible growth and improvement. Don't just argue with them verbally — show them what you're capable of!

The highest level of filial piety is to make your parents proud of you. And guess what? Most of the benefits of your future achievements will go to you! So, allow yourself to become excellent and even outstanding. It's a great way to give back to your parents and affirm your own value.

In the future, you will soar in the sky. In the sky, you will realize that the mountain you once thought was so big is just a dot. Come on, come on!

Hello, my dear, I really want to hug you. You've been wronged, and I'm here to help. I also have a son about your age. Seeing you study away from home at such a young age is really not easy, but you're doing great! Beijing is a place full of talented people, and the fact that you can study there shows that you are a hardworking and outstanding child.

High school is such an important time in your life. You're studying away from home, and no matter how tough it gets, you can stick it out and keep going for all the amazing things you want to achieve. My child, you are so strong and brave!

You told me that every time you go home, your family asks you a lot of questions. They want to know why you can't pass the exams like other people and why you can't do what other people can do. When they want me to exercise more, they say that health is the most important thing and that I shouldn't stay at home all day. When I'm out with my classmates, they say that other people's children are studying while I'm just playing. They say they want me to socialize with other people, but they lock me up at home. They say they want me to manage my time well, but they fill my schedule with things to do. They say that I should only compare myself to top students in my studies, basketball players in sports, and university graduates in socializing.

I know you must be feeling really angry and upset when you hear this. I can understand why. Your parents don't see all the hard work and effort you put in studying away from home. They only see your shortcomings and compare you to other children. I don't mind you laughing, but I have also said this to my son many times. Every parent probably wants their child to become a dragon or phoenix. They may say things unconsciously, like other people's children are always better than their own. In fact, only they know that it was just an angry remark, just trying to make their child work harder, but inadvertently hurting the child.

Parents are sometimes a little confused. They want their children to grow up happy and healthy, but also want them to study hard and not fall behind. It seems like these two goals don't have to be at odds with each other, but parents often feel like they don't have enough time or energy to balance everything. Sometimes, parents only see the strengths of others, but they always compare their children's shortcomings. It can be hard to see how they can compare! Parents all want their children to be supermen, perfect and flawless.

My child, you are already wonderful, and in the eyes of others, you are also someone from a good family. It is precisely because you deeply love your parents that you have taken their expectations as your own. You have worked hard to get to where you are now, and that is already very remarkable. Well done!

Life is about so much more than just learning knowledge. It's also about learning love!

Your parents loved you and wanted you to become the best you can be. But this can also come from a place of anxiety and insecurity.

When we respond, do we also worry about our parents' anxiety?

I'd like to suggest that you take the initiative to communicate with your parents about your studies. This way, they can see your efforts and feel at ease.

2. Be the one to show your parents some love! They'll appreciate it and be a little more patient.

3. Find a hobby you love! When you're tired from studying or having a hard time, change your mood and let exercise lift your spirits. (Science says exercise is a great way to beat depression!)

4. When emotions come, take a moment to observe them. Why are you feeling this way? Is there anything you can do to feel better?

If you take a deep breath and try to calm down, you'll see things differently.

I really hope this helps!

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

As summer vacation approaches, you feel afraid of going home and facing your parents' criticism. This makes you feel disrespected, misunderstood, rejected, and unloved.

If you don't express your feelings, you'll think you're not good enough.

Parents compare you to other kids and send conflicting messages because they were also unloved and deprived of love. They don't know any better.

Another thing is that they are projecting their own flaws onto you. Parents with poor self-differentiation see their children as extensions of themselves. They think their children's lives are their lives. So, they decide for their children, who feel they must fulfill their parents' dreams. But children are loyal and love their parents, so they see their parents' harsh criticism, dislike, negation, and control as love.

This is about the parents' need to grow, not the child's. The child has their own life and the right to make choices.

You feel uneasy and afraid when your parents compare you, criticize you, or reject you. You accept your feelings and try to tell your parents how you feel. You only express your true feelings when you feel hurt. When your parents reject, dislike, or criticize you, question their words and actions.

If you can't say what you need in words, write your parents a letter. Tell them how their words and actions have hurt you and how you want to be treated. At the same time, tell them you love them.

Try to make your own choices and decisions, even about small things. Be firm, but respectful. This will help your parents accept that you are an adult.

Read "A Life Not Controlled by Your Parents."

May this help you.

Love you!

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach. I'll listen to you with warmth and sincerity.

You feel helpless and hopeless because your parents interrogate you at home.

When you try your best but still fail, you feel exhausted and want to escape.

Let's hug and talk about the problem.

Everyone wants to be seen, affirmed, and accepted.

A person needs at least 8,000 affirmations, praises, and acknowledgements from their parents to be confident.

Self-confidence is related to self-worth.

Self-worth is how you feel about yourself.

This starts in early childhood and is usually built up through praise and encouragement from parents and other adults.

It's about self-esteem.

A person's self-worth depends on their family and how they were raised.

Your family is the source of your self-worth. But self-worth is your own opinion of yourself.

A child's self-perception is shaped by their parents' views. Praise in childhood gives a child vitality and resilience. Even if they face setbacks, they believe they can overcome them because they believe in themselves.

If a child grows up in a family where there are only negative comments and no encouragement, he will lack psychological nourishment.

He will think very little of himself. Some children who are abandoned by their parents at a young age will think "I'm not good enough."

When they grow up, such people are uncertain about their own value. They care about other people's opinions.

As you said, parents often question you, making you feel worthless, insecure, and unsafe. But these three things give us energy to live.

People with low self-worth can't be happy. Parents focus on the one mistake, not the many good things.

2. Think about your parents from a stranger's point of view to see more truth.

Parents have limits too. Their education and learning ability affect these limits.

Many parents copy their parents' parenting styles.

You are very good. You have studied in a key middle school and gone to high school in Beijing. You have put in a lot of effort, but your parents have ignored it. This makes you feel aggrieved and that all your efforts are not worthwhile.

Your parents are imperfect, but they care about you. They only see you during the holidays, so they want to use their time to do important things.

High school is a critical period.

They worry that if you relax in high school, they won't be able to see your daily actions.

This "projection" is just their worry.

Advice:

1. Don't confuse your parents' actions with who they are. "Actions have right and wrong, but the motives behind them are good."

Their "blind concern" without methods or strategies will confuse you. Seeing the limitations of your parents and understanding their actions is all they can do.

2. Talk more.

You're right, there's no right or wrong way to think. People have different patterns of behavior, and the book "No matter what others do to you, you are the one who teaches them" explains these patterns.

Your parents' control over you can make you think about how you've interacted with them. Did you always listen to them and rarely express your own opinions and feelings?

Do your parents still see you as a child? Take responsibility for your actions and communicate with them.

Communication is about sharing your feelings and listening to the other person. You need to connect with them and agree on things so you can find solutions together.

"Parents, I know you worry about me and want what's best for me when you ask me and talk to me like this, but it makes me feel worthless. I'm an adult now and can take responsibility for my own actions.

"Please reassure your parents and let go."

Be mature and show your parents you've grown. Parents also need to grow; they're new to this too.

Let go of these unpleasant things and devote yourself to learning. Don't let unhappiness fill your youth.

I hope this helps. I love you.

Click "Find a coach" to continue communicating and grow with me one-on-one.

Hello question asker!

Sichuan to Beijing is far. It's hard for you, not yet an adult, to travel so far for high school.

You're an excellent student and your parents are great too. You're the child of people who are well-off. You went to high school in Beijing, which is a big deal. You're the envy of your classmates and teachers.

Even families and children who are admired have problems! You feel stressed about your relationship with your parents, but they feel anxious about you too. They remind you and manage you. Every family is not easy. This is normal. This is the pursuit of knowledge. We and our parents who support our studies can have conflicts!

We feel like we've done our best, but still can't satisfy our parents because they think their child is the best. As long as you try your best and work hard, you can achieve the best. This is almost every parent's limit, and we can only try to accept it.

Your description of your parents' expectations is vivid.

My family always asks me why I can't do what others can. I don't know how to answer! They say health is the most important thing and that I shouldn't stay at home all day. But when I hang out with my classmates, they say I'm just playing. They say I should socialize more, but they lock me up at home. They say I should only compare myself with top students, basketball players, and college graduates.

It's no wonder you're so outstanding. Parents want their children to be perfect.

What's the best way to deal with this? Let me share my views!

We're almost in our second year of high school, which means we're almost 18 and becoming adults. We can accept things better and solve problems more effectively. We've come here to seek scientific methods and be more aware of ourselves. Awareness is the beginning of healing. When you ask a question, you're healing yourself.

Secondly, you could write a letter to your parents. You could write about what you wrote here and then add more details. You could also express your feelings and try to see things from their perspective. You could even write about your parents' feelings. Writing a letter could help you communicate better and understand each other better.

Summer vacation is only two months long, and since we just got back, it might be a little fresh for the first two days. This time, we can think of ways to get along. If we do that, we might be able to go out in half a month. Then, if there is a little discord, we can improve our ability to accept it. In this way, we can slowly get through the next half month. After a month, we will be in the countdown stage. In this state, both our parents and we should be able to think like this: there are not many days left, so let's try to be more tolerant of each other! I think that if we live like this, the two months will pass in a flash. So, we shouldn't worry now. I believe that this summer vacation will definitely be more enjoyable than the previous ones.

High school is the stage of adolescence. Even if parents don't say anything, we will feel that we don't get along with them. This is a characteristic of adolescence. What's more, our parents should also be in menopause when we are in adolescence. When adolescence and menopause collide, there will be many things that trip us up. But we all want the best for each other and we all want our family to develop in a better direction in the future. So this saying is right: family is a place for affection, not reason. I hope that we can start with ourselves and talk to our parents with affection first!

I hope you have a happy holiday! Love,