Dear Sir/Madam,
From initial interactions with strangers to self-projection due to feelings of gratitude, and in the blink of an eye, realizing deception and being unable to speak, you experience the hurt. It is crucial to discuss this kind of experience because it allows us to open up and address the emotions that are blocked. Only a life that flows and circulates will regain its due vitality. Any part of the blockage is a loss, and we are always responsible for ourselves.
The theory of islands posits that each individual is independent and longs to connect. These two concepts may appear contradictory, but they coexist in harmony. This state of affairs describes the underlying tone of our interpersonal interactions, which is to understand and follow the "boundaries" in interpersonal interactions. As the host stated, the relative helped you find a job because of the request of her lover, and demonstrated the care of an older generation in the relationship. This situation made you lose sight of the boundaries, and there was a dislocation between the defined "daughter" and the real "daughter" with a blood relationship. Therefore, in the subsequent period, when you worked overtime late into the night and were still asked to care for that blood "daughter," you felt a sense of betrayal.
It is often the case that love and hurt are closely intertwined. When one is deeply in love with someone, the equivalent or doubled pain of getting hurt is felt. This is because the emotional investment in the relationship is significant. It can be challenging to find a way to heal from this kind of hurt. This is because the pain is not easily visible, and it is not caused by an external force. It is often the result of a spiritual plunder, which can be difficult to discern.
In addressing this kind of hurt from someone we once trusted, it is not the pain itself that is most unacceptable, but rather the trust that has been violated. This is often a result of our projection of past loved ones and expectations of human kindness.
Once we have been hurt, the question that causes us the most distress is whether there is no genuine kindness in this world, or whether we are undeserving of being cherished. This kind of introspection is what causes us the most pain. As long as we remain calm and think rationally, we can take a normalised and objective view. Kindness is a quality that everyone has, and it is a source of pride. However, just like the stars, it is not visible to the naked eye all the time. We are worthy of love, and it is not for other people to decide. The right to decide is always in our own hands, because we are the first person to love ourselves, and only we are always responsible for ourselves.
Learning to be tolerant does not imply forgiveness of the harm done. Rather, it entails understanding the source of the harm to prevent self-doubt.


Comments
It's heartbreaking to reflect on those moments, feeling used and misguided while grieving for my father. I thought I had found a mentor in that relative, someone who could fill the void left by my dad. But it turned out he was just exploiting my vulnerability. It's hard not to feel foolish for having trusted him.
The mix of emotions is overwhelming; losing my father and then facing such disappointment from someone I looked up to. I always prided myself on being independent, but this situation made me question my judgment. I wish I could have seen through his intentions sooner.
I'm still processing how I let this happen. I was so focused on finding support and guidance that I overlooked the signs. Now I realize I should have relied more on myself and less on a stranger. It's a tough lesson to learn, especially during such a fragile time.
Sometimes I wonder if I was too naive, putting my trust in someone who wasn't truly looking out for me. It's frustrating because I know I can do better. My husband has been supportive throughout, and maybe I should have leaned on him more instead of seeking approval elsewhere.
Reflecting on this experience, I see now how important it is to be cautious with whom we open up to. I allowed myself to become vulnerable to someone who took advantage of my situation. It's a reminder to trust my instincts and not to let grief cloud my judgment.