After a breakup, being cautious or somewhat afraid of intimate relationships, is it prudence or emotional hurt?

The current situation may be a source of pain for you after the trauma, but it also presents an opportunity for growth and change! The other person keeps taking advantage of you, but you have the chance to stand up for yourself and negotiate a better situation. They just watch you being looked down upon, but you can choose to turn that around.

You have already given so much, and the result is such a bad situation that is really uncomfortable. But you know what? You can do better! You may not have been able to see the other person clearly in the past, but now you should be able to. It is also a fact that you have suffered financial losses. But guess what? You can get the money back or something even better!

Now that you've had a taste of freedom, you might be feeling a little cautious about jumping back into the dating scene. But don't let your past relationship get in the way of finding your next great love!

Amazing news! After seven years of being girlfriend, she's now accepting your loan to pay off your debts after the separation.

After breaking up, they still want to take advantage of you and are still disliked.

❄️❄️❄️❄️ Contempt

❄️❄️❄️❄️ Breakup

A past relationship injury can easily make you very cautious and distrustful of others. But don't worry! This distrust is very obvious, and you can see the origins of its development. The good news is that the two people themselves appreciate and contribute to each other.

☪️☪️☪️☪️Absolutely! Love requires both parties to work together to move towards a better situation.

It's so great to see how well the two sides interact with each other!

☂︎☂︎☂︎☂︎☂︎ It takes time to recover from a broken heart, but it'll be worth it!

There are so many other feelings that you can adjust! You have your own standards, which you've refined through blood and tears. It's great that both parties have an independent self to consider entering into a relationship.

It's also important to integrate the three views of both parties, and there should not be too big a difference. Both parties should pay for various costs together, but there is no need to worry about the details of numbers and quantities. It's also a great idea to explore the intrinsic character traits and some of the charm of both parties' behavior!

The two people should definitely get to know each other better during their time together. This will make their experience more comfortable and exciting! If possible, they should also think more about it and see if they feel progress and beauty in the relationship.

A good relationship should be beautiful and not self-defeating. No matter how much you love each other, you should still maintain some rationality and not blindly give of yourself for the other person's sake. Love is patient and love is not vain—and it's a wonderful thing!

A good love can be full of charm, making people feel like they have received help in the snow or rain, and that they have finally found the sweet dew after a long drought. And the best part is, both people can gain a better experience in this relationship! So come on!

ZQ?

Hello, host. I can see you've been through a lot. It's been seven years since you and your girlfriend started dating, but after six months, she cheated on you and made you repay a debt. It's a tough situation to be in, and I can understand how you feel. It's not easy to let go after going through something like this.

It's totally normal to feel rejected and despised in the midst of a loves-me-2220.html" target="_blank">breakup. It's even normal to doubt your own sense of worth and your judgment in the situation. It's okay to wonder how you could have fallen for him in the first place and if you just misjudged the person.

I know it's tough, but denying her is denying yourself. It's really painful.

The original poster is eager to solve his own problems and has looked through Chen Haiyan's book on intimate relationships in an attempt to solve his own problems, but it seems that no fundamental solution has been found, so he has come here to ask for help from all of us.

You are the most important person in this, because love is not Chen's, nor is it mine. It's yours!

I think the host makes a great point. It's so important for people in an intimate relationship to have the same values and be independent. But... the first two characters of an intimate relationship are intimacy.

Teacher Chen Haixian is spot on, but what's your favorite state? At the end of the day, it's all about how you feel.

My dear lover, I know breaking up is painful. But it's a normal human reaction.

At the same time, it also means saying goodbye to the past. It's a process of making a strong cut with the sadness of the past, but you'll get through it!

Are you the kind of person who thinks things through and is careful in relationships, or do you worry about getting hurt and find it hard to trust others? It seems like you're really asking a question about fear.

?Host: Your question is saying:

You want a new intimate relationship, but you're not sure how to choose. You're not sure if you're being cautious or if you're being afraid. I want to tell you that whether you're being cautious or afraid, they're both based on fear.

It's totally normal to be afraid of being cheated on again and devastated. It's okay if you can't believe in love.

I'm sure you had some happy times with your ex-girlfriend during the seven years you were together. You only persisted for so long because it felt good, which shows that your girlfriend's character and outlook on life are a good match for yours.

Oh, honey, why did he cheat on you?

I really encourage you to find the truth. Why did your girlfriend lie to you? Do you truly understand the truth?

Just do what feels right, sweetheart, and your heart will tell you the answer.

Come on, my friend! Protect your original heart and nature, and don't lose faith in love because of one setback. You've got this!

Hello, my dear friend! I'll give you a warm hug from afar first.

It's totally normal to feel a bit drained after seven years of working hard to nurture a relationship. It's okay to feel all those uncomfortable emotions you're having, like resentment, anger, self-blame, helplessness, and a sense of powerlessness. These are all totally normal reactions to a major loss of emotion.

Even though the relationship is over, the wonderful times you had together will always be cherished memories that will stay with you forever. They're also proof that you truly loved each other, right? Even though today you've experienced pain and disappointment, the love you had for each other while you were together was also real.

It's so important to believe that even if you're betrayed, cheated on, or hurt, the choices and decisions you make in each moment are the best you can make within your current understanding. So whether she cheated on you and used online loans to pay off her loans, or whether you gave her a month's salary after the breakup, it's understandable that you were trying to retain her, caring about her, cherishing the seven years of your relationship, and unwilling to accept that you have given so much to the relationship and not gotten the result you expected. You did your best to make the last effort you could. What do you say?

Then, be kind to yourself. You did your best, and that's okay! Right now, you need to focus on taking care of yourself. Try to give yourself the same love and care you would give to someone you care about. This is especially important when you're facing major losses and injuries in life.

You made the brave choice to seek psychological counseling after ending a seven-year relationship that had been consuming you. You took the initiative to repair the emotional and relational damage you had suffered by studying psychology. You have changed your perception of intimate relationships, improved your ability to manage them, and grown in ways you never imagined. All the disappointments in life are lessons we lack, and they are here to train us, even though this training and growth is painful.

It's totally normal to feel cautious, fearful, and distrustful of the opposite sex in intimate relationships. These feelings are a natural response to trauma, and they're also a form of self-protection. So, don't be too hard on yourself if you're feeling a little afraid and distrustful of intimate relationships. As long as these feelings don't affect your daily life, there's no need to worry. Instead, try to bring your fear, trepidation, and caution to a new relationship. In a new relationship, you're not just facing a new person of the opposite sex, but also a brand new you who has grown after transformation. Believe in your ability to manage a new relationship because relationships are all about interaction. You'll learn from your own growth and quickly recognize and adjust your deficiencies and inadequacies to better adapt to the needs of the relationship.

I hope you'll love as bravely as if you'd never been hurt!

Hi, I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you!

And now, back to the original text!

It's not just a personal experience based on emotion. For example, if one party only talks about love but doesn't actually do anything, it's clear they don't really love the other person.

I'm excited to share my current judgment criteria for dating the opposite sex!

1. I'm excited to explore the possibilities of an intimate relationship! While it requires an independent self, there are plenty of ways to supplement material and spiritual needs through things outside the relationship. I'm currently working on managing my own needs for work achievements and loneliness, and I'm looking forward to finding the right balance. Intimate relationships require emotional costs, mutual sacrifice, and compromises, but they're also incredibly rewarding. I'm open to entering into a relationship that's a good fit for me.

2. When it comes to my own definition of suitability, I believe it's all about being comfortable in a natural way, frequent understanding without impulsiveness, and rational analysis of the three views (career outlook, outlook on life, values). It's also about liking the essence of both parties (way of thinking, way of getting along) rather than too much external appearance (appearance, material, etc.).

For example, in a natural way, most of the time, they get along with each other according to their own personalities, and they feel comfortable with each other. And after in-depth understanding, the way the other person gets along with them is also special in her interactions with others—it's truly a wonderful thing to behold!

Once you gain a deeper understanding, you'll have a great emotional experience that's also based on reason (like I mentioned above).

3. Finally, I want to make one thing clear: my attitude is not passive or evasive. It's proactive, and it's based on reason. For example, I'll still actively participate in social interactions and actively try to understand the other person according to my own wishes. But I'll also remind myself not to be wishful thinking. Why? Because a good relationship is equal and mutual! If I feel uncomfortable, I'll let it go.