After a fight, my boyfriend silently deleted me. It feels like my boyfriend doesn't belong to me anymore.

Lovers come and go, and they've experienced a lot together. They've also had their share of problems and pain. Happiness and joy aren't the only things at play. When something unpleasant happens, it can leave a lasting emotional impact. Even if the two parties make up, those memories will remain.

I don't know what you fought about, but it might be worth thinking about because there are probably a lot of things to think about when you're together. In your case, there may be friction due to various things, some of which are trivial and some of which may involve core values.

If it's a core issue, the two people need to work together to solve it. If they don't, there will be problems in the future.

Think about why there's a problem and if it's important to you. If it's not, you can work through it. If it is, it'll get better over time.

You can also make new memories and start new dates to improve your relationship. Maybe you feel betrayed and sad because your boyfriend deleted you after an argument.

The other person did something without saying hello, which makes you feel insecure. It's worth apologizing and explaining that you'll try not to argue in the future.

Try to reduce arguments and find solutions. Read "Feeling Love," "Knowing Love," and "The Trap of Love." Share your experiences with friends. Good luck!

ZQ?

Greetings!

As a heart exploration coach, I have come to recognize that learning represents the most valuable asset of the human body.

From your description, it is evident that you are experiencing a range of negative emotions, including disappointment, discomfort, pain, and helplessness.

The specifics of the difficulties you are experiencing in your romantic relationship will not be addressed here. However, three key pieces of advice can be provided.

Firstly, it is recommended that an effort be made to gain an understanding of one's own self and to accept the circumstances that one finds oneself in.

Such an approach will result in a slight alleviation of distress, which in turn will facilitate the formulation of a plan of action.

After a conflict with her boyfriend, the subject was deleted by him. Despite subsequent attempts to reconcile and be added back, he maintained his position. This led to the realisation that he was no longer a suitable partner. Despite continued feelings of love, there was a loss of interest in sexual intimacy. Additionally, there was a shift in behaviour, with a protective stance towards him. This state of mind is understandable, given that following a conflict, many women experience discomfort when their partner deletes them. This can result from a perceived lack of love, disappointment, or a sense of loss of control. It is a common desire for a perfect love and a sense of belonging. It is important to understand these feelings and provide comfort. The subject may feel a distance from her boyfriend, yet still love him. This can lead to a painful self-perception, which can be distracting. It is essential to acknowledge these feelings and shift one's focus to other matters. Otherwise, the mind may remain occupied with negative emotions.

Furthermore, allowing oneself to understand one's own self and accept one's current state will facilitate the promotion of change in the status quo. This may appear to be a paradoxical assertion, but it is, in fact, an accurate representation of the underlying truth, as change is predicated on the acceptance of the status quo.

Secondly, it is recommended that you undertake a rational assessment of your own state.

Rational thinking can assist in developing a more nuanced understanding of oneself and one's circumstances.

In order to adopt a rational perspective, it is essential to undertake the following three steps:

One must recognize that a healthy relationship is not one devoid of conflict and disagreement; rather, it is one that can transform these challenges into opportunities for growth and strengthening the bond.

It is possible that you were anticipating a relationship devoid of conflict and that your partner would consistently provide you with a sense of security and belonging. However, it is important to recognize that even in healthy relationships, disagreements and arguments are inevitable. The key is to transform these disagreements into constructive and productive discussions.

Secondly, it is important to understand that the concept of true love does not imply that one individual is wholly defined by the other. Rather, it suggests that two independent individuals can form a relationship characterised by equality.

In other words, the notion that he is exclusively yours may be erroneous, as neither party possesses exclusive rights to the relationship. Instead, it is an equal partnership, and positive sentiments also emanate from such an arrangement.

Third, it is important to recognize that a healthy relationship is a collaborative effort between both partners, and that it is also a process of personal growth for both individuals.

It is important to recognize that the status quo is not immutable; it can be altered through conscious action. When one alters their circumstances, the emotional state of their relationship may also change. It is essential to understand one's capabilities and the potential of time to effect change.

Thirdly, it is recommended that the individual focus on themselves and consider the actions they can take to improve their emotional state.

For example, one might inquire as to the rationale behind the continued affection for the partner, despite the self-protective stance and reluctance to engage in sexual intimacy. Is this due to a waning trust in the partner, a desire to inflict punishment, or are there other factors at play? Upon introspection, it is possible to discern that, following a dispute, one has become more logical, mature, and stable, which may contribute to an improved sense of well-being.

Additionally, it would be beneficial to engage in a sincere dialogue with your partner to elucidate your genuine sentiments, including the reasons behind your perception that he does not belong to you and the subsequent urge to safeguard yourself. This authentic communication can facilitate a sense of well-being, as negative emotions often have a cathartic effect. Furthermore, through such an exchange, you and your partner can gain deeper insights into each other's perspectives, recognizing that no individual can claim exclusive ownership of another and that a fulfilling relationship is a collaborative endeavor involving mutual growth. This process can also enhance your self-understanding, fostering a sense of inner peace. When communicating with your partner, it is crucial to maintain composure and rationality, as these qualities are essential for effective communication.

It is also recommended to engage in constructive dialogue with trusted family members and friends, including a qualified mental health professional. This communication can facilitate emotional regulation. Additionally, these individuals can provide understanding, support, and guidance, which can enhance well-being. It is important to recognize that disagreements are a common occurrence in relationships and that constructive engagement can lead to positive outcomes.

Once action is initiated, negative emotions will gradually dissipate, as action is often the most effective means of overcoming such emotions.

It is my hope that this response will prove beneficial to you. Should you wish to engage in further communication, you are invited to click on the option entitled "Find a coach to interpret – online conversation," which you will find at the bottom of this page. This will enable me to communicate with you on an individual basis.

Hello! I'm Jiang 61.

Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like your boyfriend deleted you after an argument, which must have been very upsetting.

1. Result of an argument

After a fight, my boyfriend deleted me. I apologized and we added each other back on WeChat. He said he was wrong, but I don't love him anymore and I don't want sex. I still love him, but I'm protecting myself.

1⃣️, Deleted messages

After a fight, your boyfriend deleted your messages.

2⃣️, Offer to apologize.

After being deleted, you apologized and added him back on WeChat. He admitted he had a problem, but you couldn't feel his affection. There seemed to be a barrier between you.

3⃣️, you don't feel like you belong to him.

You don't feel he belongs to you, so you're not as enthusiastic about sex. You still like and love him, but you're more calm and want to protect yourself.

2. Reasons for this feeling

1⃣️, A major decision has been made.

If there are no major emotional issues, you wouldn't let your boyfriend delete contact because of an argument.

Deleting contact means the other person has made a big decision. It could be that he is heartbroken and has made a decisive move.

2⃣️, he's changed.

Time can cut through everything, including emotional ties. Your boyfriend probably has more disappointment than hope for you.

He decided to make adjustments, but you're still stuck in the past, and he's changed.

When you get in touch again, you're stuck in the past and can't accept the changes he's made.

3. Make decisions with your heart.

1⃣️ Love isn't forced.

View of marriage

Our view of marriage is an important part of our outlook on life. It says that marriage should be based on love and that both people should want to be married.

Marriage is about taking responsibility for your relationship.

The three elements of love: passion, intimacy, and commitment.

Love is made up of passion, intimacy, and commitment.

If you don't feel intimacy after getting back together, passion will fade.

Love can only be forced when the heart knows God.

Trust your feelings.

If you don't feel loved, it's possible he's moved on.

This isn't a judgment based on your demands. You've simply heard what he said.

Trust your feelings.

3⃣️, Let go of the relationship.

Accept reality.

Getting back in touch via WeChat doesn't mean the rift can be fixed with an apology or admission of fault. Repairing the relationship takes time and mutual willingness.

If you have a bad feeling, accept it.

Let go of the relationship.

Letting go of the relationship may be painful, but it's not a bad option. It will help you understand the consequences of past mistakes and face the future.

4. Learn from this.

You'll gain the most by learning to manage your relationships in the future.

Learn to communicate well.

Effective communication

Communication is sharing information with someone in the hope that they will respond as expected. If they do, it's effective communication.

Communication includes both verbal and non-verbal messages. The non-verbal part is often more important than the verbal part. Effective communication is important when dealing with people in school.

Steps to effective communication

Effective communication has four steps.

Step 1: Express feelings, not emotions.

Step 2: Express what you want, not what you don't want.

Step 3: Express your needs, not your complaints.

Step 4: Express where you want to go, not where you don't. Look at the end result.

Use these four steps to communicate your feelings, thoughts, and needs when you disagree with your boyfriend. This can help you avoid arguing and build a good relationship.

Expressions of love

Expressions of love

Couples need to save up love. This means investing, saving, and expressing love.

Everyone understands love differently. Dr. Gary Chapman says there are five ways people express and receive love: "affirming words," "spending time together," "exchanging gifts," "acts of service," and "physical touch."

Specific Methods

Affirming words

Everyone needs praise and affirmation. More positive feedback can deepen feelings.

Special moments

A special moment is a wonderful time and memory you share with your partner. Give them your full attention.

Accepting gifts

Giving gifts on special occasions is a ritual that strengthens relationships.

Acts of service

It means doing what the other person wants and making them happy. These acts of service are often small things.

Touch

Holding hands and hugging can show love.

The more you give, the more you get.

Learn to manage your emotions.

Managing your emotions is important for handling relationships. It means

To recognize your emotions.

This is the first step in managing your emotions. When you have an emotion, recognize what it is.

Accept your emotions.

Healthy emotions match your situation. When your emotions match what's going on, tell yourself, "My emotions are normal." This is accepting emotions.

This means that you will feel less stressed and more at peace.

Expressing emotions

Expressing emotions: Say "I" and "my feelings."

Cultivating Emotions

You can manage your emotions by practicing the following:

1) A regular life helps stabilize emotions.

2) Develop a hobby, love yourself and life, and feel the beauty of life.

3) Look after others and let love dwell in your heart. Helping others is the greatest joy.

(4) Connect with nature, calm your mind, and your emotions will also be soothed and stabilized.

(5) Spend time with emotionally stable people to reduce emotional fluctuations.

Topic master, things have already happened. Decide according to your heart. Pay more attention to your feelings, be kinder to yourself, take care of yourself, and manage your relationships.

I wish you well!