After almost a year without work, what should I do about my laziness in not wanting to work?

Hello, my friend. I'm Liu Tangxin.

I understand exactly how you feel. When I was independent, I felt dissatisfied, but I persevered. I had expectations and hopes for my career.

Your family's financial situation is still quite good, and there isn't as much pressure on you to earn a lot of money and contribute to the family. But you don't have that much, and it makes you lose a little bit of security. You still think that people should rely on themselves and should still have something to do.

You want to find a job again because you are dissatisfied with your current situation. This is normal. In this society or in many companies and industries, there are bound to be some things that make people feel dissatisfied. No one is perfect, and no company is perfect either.

I am genuinely happy for you. First, your family should be treating you well and without putting any pressure on you. This is something to be happy about.

Second, you have the opportunity to choose the company and industry you like best. You don't have to make money to support your family, so you can explore different industries and jobs to find your true calling.

You mentioned in the last few sentences of the article how hardworking and resilient you used to be. It's clear you still admire your former self! Why do you feel that some of the work you are exposed to now is not very interesting or necessary? Without financial pressure, sometimes the sense of achievement and the drive it brings you is less.

If we were all just ordinary job seekers, we'd have to worry about paying for food, housing, car loans, buying cosmetics, clothes, and bags. We'd have to work harder to close deals or earn more money. The process of earning money would also give us a high sense of achievement and satisfaction. But now you don't have this pressure anymore, and you don't know where your motivation comes from, because you may not be as passionate about or like some of the jobs and industries you've been exposed to.

You're nervous and anxious about the inertia that comes with not working for a year. Why? You demand that you have the ability to work, stand on your own two feet in society, and live independently. You're afraid that you'll lose this fighting spirit, lose yourself, and lose your ability to work if you don't work in society for a long time.

You can do more. Don't limit yourself to just one job. Try something new. Become a new media blogger. Do whatever you want, even if it's just a manual job. As long as you like it, you're willing to do it. Do some research, and you'll become very specialized and skilled. Then you'll also get some income and a sense of achievement. Don't limit yourself. Try more. You'll be surprised at what you can do. You'll feel more secure and satisfied.

Hugging a loved one who doesn't want to work, what are your feelings?

You haven't worked for almost a year. You have food, shelter, and fun. You are happy. You have a happy family.

I can sleep until I wake up. There's no pressure. This is happiness. Live lazily, but with peace of mind.

If I feel like the company has flaws or I don't like my work, I feel like I don't want to stay. These are real feelings. It's important to see how you feel.

I'm not as hardworking as I used to be. In the past, I might have given up after just one day of work, but I persevered. I accept the hardworking self from the past, and also the self that is discerning and chooses its work environment.

There is no right or wrong in every life situation. They are all a reflection of our current state.

Enjoy the moment, accept your laziness, and don't force yourself to work when you don't feel like it. Your recuperation is going well. When you're tired, rest.

Just stop for a while. You'll set off when the time is right.

I wish you happiness! The world and I love you.

Hello question asker,

I can see you're sincere and want to change. Well done.

You have reviewed your life and work over the past year. We can see you are serious and have internal conflicts. We will help you.

You're lucky to have a boyfriend who accepts you.

You say, "It's been almost a year since I stopped working. I had a place to live, I could have fun, and I didn't spend much money. I didn't do much either. I could relax at home. I didn't have to cook, but I still had food to eat. I didn't do much housework either. If I wanted to eat something, someone would buy it for me. If I wanted to go somewhere to play, I could go. Basically, I could sleep until I woke up naturally every day."

Your boyfriend loves you and is willing to do a lot for you. He provides you with good material conditions so that you can live a carefree life for a year. This is fortunate.

You don't indulge in this, but you feel this life is "no pressure, no motivation." After a period of recuperation, you want to go to work. You're not content with the status quo; you're motivated and want to work and create value.

Affirm this.

You've applied for jobs and worked for companies that don't match you. You're dissatisfied, but you want to work.

From what you said, I think there are a few things.

You have high expectations of the company you are applying to.

You did well in the past and want to find a better job. This is normal. As long as you can do the job, people will go for the higher position.

This also means that job seekers must be adaptable and able to work well in new situations. This includes adapting to a new environment, being patient, and teaching new colleagues and subordinates. It also means using new management tools and methods. In other words, you need to actively adapt, and this is a big challenge.

You want the company to adapt to you. You want a high salary and an easy job. This has caused you to be "unable to get a high-level job or settle for a low-level one." Your good work experience has not helped you.

Every company has its own advantages and disadvantages. Even within the same industry, each company has its own management style. Entering a new company means facing new leaders, new subordinates, and new work content. You have to start from scratch.

The next step is what matters.

Second, be proud of yourself.

Even if you were once the best, you won't always be. People have ups and downs, and things will always get better.

If you did well in the past, that was then. Now, you should act according to the current situation. Don't put yourself on a pedestal, but have a reasonable and rational view of your abilities and expectations. Things are always changing.

Don't expect perfection.

Allow yourself to be less hardworking.

I feel I'm not as hardworking as I used to be. In the past, I could spend the whole day outside in the cold, pulling new walls, and overcome my shyness in the face of strangers. I worked steadily, without too many demands, and could bear hardships and stand hard work. But now I have higher expectations.

You used to work hard, but now you don't want to. Maybe you're tired or your body and mind need a break. If you insist on working hard and maintaining a high standard even when you're tired, you'll appear to be looking for work, but deep down you'll always find reasons not to go to work.

You might have been tired from your last job. Have you ever been like this?

You can't have a perfect self.

You can't have everything. You can only choose what you want most.

Do your best to develop your strengths. Don't worry about your weaknesses. Nobody's perfect.

Be realistic about yourself, accept yourself, and don't overestimate or underestimate yourself. This will help you walk confidently and authentically without drifting.

Don't worry about what others think.

What relatives say is just chatter, but you should stay calm. You care what they say because you agree with them. You don't like being supported by other people, so this comment hurts you.

What kind of life do you want? What changes will you make?

Give the host a big hug! After reading the host's detailed description, I can feel the host's deep desire to take action, but not knowing what to do.

I think we can all agree that the root cause of all these reasons and excuses is:

"It's true that I'm kind of supported by someone else, which is really nice. At least I have a place to live and can play. I don't spend much money, don't do much, and can be very relaxed at home. I don't have to cook, I have food to eat, I don't do much housework, and if I want to eat something, someone buys it for me. If I want to go somewhere to play, I can mostly be taken there and accompanied. I can basically sleep until I naturally wake up every day, which is great!"

Because there's no pressure to survive, there's no motivation to change.

I really don't think this is the original poster's fault. I think we can all agree that the so-called "self-discipline" and "hard work" are all false propositions.

Just for a moment, picture this: if you were the only person in the world, how would you live?

You must be able to do whatever you want, right? Absolutely! You can do whatever you want, as long as you stutter.

So, it's no surprise that all self-discipline and hard work are driven by "external discipline" and "harsh living conditions."

The host has a great life, and he doesn't have too many desires himself. His boyfriend is also very supportive.

It's totally normal to feel a bit uncomfortable and confused when you're facing external pressure. I can relate! When I get comments from relatives saying I'm being supported without having to work for a long time, it can be tough to hear. It's natural to feel a bit hurt and want to be seen for more than just what you do for a living.

And there's also this feeling of being on shaky ground, like what if one day the steady income I've been counting on disappears? What then?

I can see that this thought has always been there, which is why you have so much content to describe your work experience and feelings.

I get the feeling you've tried your best, but it just wasn't the right fit for you.

I can tell that the original poster is really wise and quick-thinking. It's clear from your work experience that you're not afraid of hard work, but maybe you just need to find something you're truly passionate about. The original poster is very genuine and has high expectations of himself, which is great!

Back in the day, we all had to work to make a living.

It's a different world nowadays, isn't it? So many young people are surviving not through work but through "skills."

I'm sure the original poster can find their own interests and passions, make videos to share, and then distribute them to various platforms. It's great that you're learning the advantages and methods of the platform, finding the direction of your own efforts, and most importantly, that you're creating content you really like, something you are willing to persist and devote yourself to, and something that can withstand the long loneliness of the years.

From your description, I can see that you're a hard-working, dedicated person.

"I go to the gym almost every day, and I also love sports like hiking. I can push myself when I'm working out, and I'm pretty persistent. I also enjoy reading books from time to time."

Fitness exercises and reading books and sharing these things will really help you shine! You're not worried about income right now, so why not give it a try? You might just make a different kind of discovery!

Times have changed, my friend. We can no longer return to the era of our parents, when having a job meant stability until retirement. Even if you go to work, you will encounter all kinds of changes. It is such a blessing to have a skill that you like and love, and that happens to be able to support yourself. This is the advantage of this generation of young people. There are so many ways to make money! The most important thing is to find a direction that suits you.

I'm not here to tell you to work harder. I just want you to know that I don't think you're lazy. I think you're just looking for the right path to bring your strengths to the fore. I truly believe that as soon as you find that path, you'll be up and running, putting your amazing intelligence and talents to good use. You've always been a fighter, and I admire that. Keep up the good work!

Take some time to get to know yourself again, sweetheart. I highly recommend you read Buckingham's "Now, Discover Your Strengths." It has a Strengths Finder test in it that can help you identify your strengths and natural talents. Once you've done that, find a track that interests you, put in the effort, and love will conquer all. Go out and see the world, make more friends who are constantly improving, and you will definitely meet the best version of yourself. You've got this!

Hello! I'll give you a hug.

You're living a comfortable life with no need to work. I'd like to live like this forever.

Many people hope to live this kind of life after working hard. You have already lived this kind of life. You lack the motivation to go through hard times and go to work.

Humans want to make a profit and avoid harm. You don't want to work now because that's human nature.

We are social beings with moral standards. Adults need to work to earn a living. While you are enjoying your comfort zone, you are also feeling guilty. Your body and mind are honest.

The mind says, "Get up and fight."

My body says you're too involved in my affairs. You fight too much.

You need to get your body and mind to agree with each other. You can keep lying around, not looking for a job, and telling yourself you're not cut out for work. You also need to spend money to live, which is considered contributing to society.

Let your body follow your mind. Find a job. Tell yourself that adults still have to work. Don't care about the salary. Just have a place to go. As for the company rules, I'm not retiring here. I'll just do it for two years.

I can also take a step back. For example, I can lie down with someone else for two months, not thinking about work, and enjoy life. Then, after two months, I won't allow myself to lie down anymore. I must find a job and earn my own living expenses.

You have many options. Some are difficult, some are easy. You can also choose to keep things as they are. It's up to you.

I am a positive, motivated counselor who is both Buddhist and depressed. I love you.

Firstly, I would like to commend you for posting your query on this platform. From reading your statement, I do not believe you are lazy or disinclined to work. Rather, it seems that you have not yet found a position that meets your expectations. You are not a "lazy person" at all. If I were in your position, I would not have this conversation with you today.

In summary, the ideal job would have the following characteristics: a positive work atmosphere, a competitive salary, motivating factors, shorter working hours, and a company with no significant flaws.

Let's examine each one in turn.

Regarding the company: It is important to note that even a century-old company is unlikely to be free of flaws. The process of a company growing from 0 to 1 and from 1 to 100 is one of countless people constantly identifying and solving problems and collaborating with each other. In the event that we were to find a perfect company, it is likely that the company would not want us, and would only retain the people who have worked hard with the company before. However, given the current epidemic situation, it is already difficult for a company to survive.

Therefore, it is important to accept that nobody is perfect. As with any individual, each person has both advantages and disadvantages.

In terms of remuneration, there is a direct correlation between input and output. The company assumes the financial risks associated with your role, whereas you do not have to bear these risks, resulting in a lower income than that of the CEO. A company's existence has a social value and serves the needs of a specific group of people. You can identify an industry that aligns with your interests, learn while paying attention, and consider how you would approach the role if you were in charge. This can help you gain a deeper understanding of the industry.

Therefore, we can begin by identifying a goal and then, in a manner similar to that of a game, determine how we can achieve a high income over time.

Regarding the atmosphere of the workplace, it can be defined as the environment or context that is gradually formed within an organization and has certain characteristics that can be perceived and identified by its members. There are two main types of workplace atmosphere: environmental and humanistic.

The atmosphere of each company is unique and varies from one individual to another.

Upon entering a new company, it would be advantageous to either blend in or create an atmosphere. This process will undoubtedly prove to be quite intriguing.

Regarding time management, it is evident that professions with shorter working hours and higher income are often the result of a gradual process of hard work and dedication in the early stages of one's career. It is not feasible to secure such a position immediately. Instead, it is essential to invest time and effort consistently over time, accumulating knowledge and value within the industry, to eventually achieve a balance between shorter working hours and a higher income.

Therefore, our objective is not to have nothing, but to have it sooner rather than later. This requires a process of tempering.

Regarding motivation, I would like to highlight that when an individual is passionate about a task, they are less likely to be lazy. If they resist or are lazy, it is likely because they have not experienced the enjoyment and significance of the task. Therefore, when seeking employment, it is essential to fully understand the role and its purpose. Focus on identifying the positive aspects of the job, the reasons for its existence, and what makes it interesting. Passion can be gradually cultivated through training.

Therefore, regardless of an individual's level of laziness, they will not be lazy when it comes to the things they like to do. We often find ourselves trapped in a cycle of laziness, with little motivation to pursue activities we enjoy, regardless of the time involved, financial implications, or immediate results.

Life is a series of choices. While one cannot control external factors such as the environment or other people, one can always control one's own actions. The resulting joy and sorrow in life are a direct result of the choices made.

It is often the case that individuals believe they have no control over their circumstances, when in fact they do have the ability to make decisions and exert control over their lives.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the individual posing the question will eventually find a partner with whom they can build a long-lasting relationship.

I am currently undecided as to whether I wish to pursue the acquisition of a new skill. While I am interested in learning a new skill, I am uncertain as to whether I possess the requisite motivation to do so.

Hello, I'm Gu Yi. I'm modest and humble, just like always.

Here are the facts you need to know about going to work.

We used a lot of text to describe your psychological feelings because we know why you don't want to go to work. You have overly idealistic career expectations. When we were looking for a job, we didn't find such an ideal job, so you've put going to work on hold. Your life is barely getting by, so you have a lazy mentality.

The world maintains stability during the process of dynamic equilibrium. This means that choosing a job will not necessarily bring stability. Therefore, you must have a focus when choosing a job. A job that can bring you a high income will definitely be very stressful. The stability it can bring you will come from temporarily setting aside your ideals. You must have a focus when choosing.

We are young now, and we can keep up with the pace well in terms of learning ability and physical fitness. We don't have the pressure from our families, so we can be very willful and choose according to our own preferences. But not everyone has this opportunity, so we must give ourselves a clear direction.

Give yourself a plan and let your heart settle down.

Aspirations, ideas, and choices about work are good things. They show that we are thoughtful and capable. Masters in any industry work hard, one step at a time. Any job has its own advantages and disadvantages. Know what you want when making a choice and focus on that choice.

We must face the fact that we haven't been to work for a while. The feeling of going to work is gone, so we get lost in our own ideal world. This is a kind of self-consumption. We must find something to do to make our value come through as much as possible, whether we go to work or not.

In today's fast-paced world, what we've done and achieved in the past is quickly outdated. To stay relevant, we must have an open mind and learn from our mistakes. After leaving any industry for a period of time, we become laymen. This is why we should weigh our past experience as a kind of qualification. Just because the past was good does not mean that the future will be the same. To succeed, we must have the determination and methods to deal with changes. This is the mature behavior of adults.

Best wishes.

Dear questioner, I'm excited to hear more about your situation!

After carefully considering the question and your additional comments, I'm excited to help you find a job that's a great fit!

If you want to find a job but are always dissatisfied, I'd be thrilled to go through this with you and I'm confident it will be enlightening for you!

1. Take a deep dive into your practical needs and deep emotional needs.

You may want to find a job that you love, with a great work atmosphere and a salary that meets your expectations. While it may seem challenging to find at the moment, I'm confident you'll find the perfect fit!

Right now, let's ask ourselves a few questions to figure out why we "like what others don't like, and what others like, we don't like."

"What am I avoiding?"

"What will be the consequences of this?"

"What kind of result do I want?"

We all want our work to look good in the eyes of others and to have a good external image, and there's nothing wrong with that!

This may be an internal need, and that's a great thing!

If expectations aren't met, it's better not to do it than to avoid looking like you're "doing badly."

Absolutely! You can find some ideas from these questions.

2. Action is king!

You've had some great jobs, and you're naturally reluctant to accept anything less than your best.

Think about it! You were a store manager, worked in an office, and earned a high salary. Why did you stop doing those things?

Absolutely! We can definitely find a way to change this.

There may be some aspects of a good job that you don't like so much, but that's OK! That's why you're here, to find a job that you love.

Or maybe we had more idealistic fantasies about the kind of job we wanted!

For us, who have not worked for nearly a year, it is an amazing opportunity to adjust our mentality. Finding the ideal job can be a long process, but it'll be worth it!

So, should you aim to find your dream job or take a less-than-ideal job first and slowly transition?

You also know that your boyfriend may not always be so patient, but you're excited to find a job you love!

So, let's set some appropriate and achievable expectations!

For example, you can first find a job that may only pay 6 points, and just start working!

Even if the salary is lower or there is no social security, etc.

All you need is one great reason to get a job! For example, "I need a job now."

If you don't want to face it from the bottom of your heart and don't take this job, we can come up with countless reasons that all seem very reasonable!

3. Be down-to-earth and simply make career and life plans!

If your boyfriend or family members think it's totally fine for you to never work, are willing to support you and pay your insurance premiums so that your life is secure, and don't care what others think or say, and you don't work yourself, I think that's great!

Everyone has their own life plan, and that's a great thing!

If you don't harm others and can live a good life, sometimes it seems like work is not necessary—and that's a wonderful thing!

But if you keep thinking about work and using finding a job to escape, that's a whole other story!

It's so important to figure out for yourself how you view work and what you want to get out of it!

And the best part is that when you become financially independent, it also makes you more emotionally independent! You'll be able to face challenges head-on, without trying to avoid them.

The ideal situation when looking for a job is this:

It's something you love, something you're great at, and something that makes a real difference in the world!

This can be expressed as interests, abilities, and values—and it's an exciting process!

This is what we call the sweet spot of a career!

And the best part is, you get to explore what you like through your own actions!

Or you can take an interest test!

If you're looking for a job, you're in luck! Those who work just to earn money don't have much trouble choosing a job. And a high salary is always a great option!

Those who are torn between work and love are on an exciting journey of balancing reality, love, and dreams!

It's time to understand yourself more, look at your true inner needs, and take practical action!

Just share these!

If you're interested, you've got to check out "What Are the Possibilities in Your Life?"

Wishing you all the best!

Dear host, Hello! My name is Xing Ying, and I'm a national-level 3 psychological counselor.

I have to say, I admire your honesty. People like you are the most genuine and beautiful, and you'll undoubtedly gain the most!

I'd also love to be open and honest with you. If my words make you feel anything but comfortable, please forgive me.

You say that you feel that the situation has reached a critical point, but I don't think so!

Suffering is the driving force behind all change. You used to be a hard worker with few demands and could endure hardship. As you can see, if things really came to a head, you would definitely find a way out. And you will!

Right now, you're only a little bit unhappy with how things are, and you're still pretty comfortable overall. It's not as bad as you think!

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I have a place to live, I can also go out and play, I don't spend much money, I don't do much, I can also be relaxed at home, I don't have to cook and I still have food to eat, I don't do much housework, people buy me the food I want, I can mostly go out with someone to places I want to go, and basically I can sleep until I wake up naturally every day. It seems like there isn't much pressure, which is great!

To be fair, this is the kind of life everyone wants. So in this state, where is the motivation to change?

Before, I might have wanted to give up after just one day of work, but then I persevered and got better at it. In the past, I could spend the whole day outside in the cold, pulling new homes, even in the dead of winter. I could overcome my shyness and face strangers.

This one-sentence description of your past work experience is impressive! It's clear you've worked hard for your success. Hard work always leads to gains and growth, and you've got a great example of that here.

It's totally normal to grow in ability, have more choices at work, and have higher expectations!

So your current state is not laziness, it is just that your current state of life makes you more comfortable. Regardless of all moral judgments, your life is your own to live as you choose!

Live the way you want to live!

The good news is that change can come from a strong desire to pursue something good or to escape from pain. When neither is present, it's time to get creative!

Maybe one day, or maybe after reading my response, you'll have a sudden realization:

What kind of life would I be more satisfied with? I can't wait to find out!

But what if I could change my current state of being and guarantee that I'll be happy for the rest of my life?

Even if it could be guaranteed for the rest of my life, would I be happy living like this?

If you're totally cool with all of the above, then please, keep reading and don't overthink it!

If not, you will have worries, or suddenly have a new vision for your life! Either way, that is the beginning of change!

You're not lazy, you're just taking a break! The question is, how long do you want to let yourself rest?

Absolutely! Change always starts in the heart.

And finally, I really hope you can live your life the way you want to! The world and I love you!

It's a long story, and it seems to be lightly written, but there is a slight sense of unease. It's not a big deal, just a little unease.

I'd like to tell you a story about a colleague of mine. He's in the "second generation of demolition" and owns more than ten apartments. The rent from these properties is enough to support him comfortably. His wife hasn't worked since she got pregnant and gave birth. Their daughter is about to start elementary school.

This male colleague (let's call him Li) is very thrifty and anxious. Even though the family has money, they almost always buy things on sale and always try to find coupons to offset the cost of takeaways. He often complains to us that his wife doesn't want to work.

We always tease him, "Where does Zhe always lack money? He can't collect enough rent, so his wife doesn't need to work."

Li thinks his wife isn't suited to being a full-time housewife, given his circumstances. He says he's just a small technician and knows he doesn't have the business acumen to make a lot of money. The house is becoming increasingly worthless and he can't live off it.

Li's wife has become increasingly idle since staying at home, and the children are basically looked after by the grandparents. She just plays with her phone at home or hangs out with friends, and doesn't want to go to work.

Li Xiao said that when his child starts first grade in September, he'll make sure his wife goes to work. He doesn't want her to stay home all day, eating, drinking, and playing without any ambition. She doesn't need to earn a lot of money, but she has to be able to support herself and live like a human being. Otherwise, she won't be able to educate her child well.

This is a true story from my life.

Everyone has different needs, so it's important to think about what you really want. Being a housewife is a great option if you have the means, but it's often best to raise your children yourself.

If you're always restless at home, think back on what you've done in the past and see what kind of work you're most comfortable with. Then, work in this direction, be prepared to start from the bottom, and make up for what you lack. You can learn new skills and communication skills. You're still young, so make a plan for yourself and get moving. Take a break, recharge your batteries, and get ready to go. The days to come will be unstoppable!