After breaking up, I can no longer find a sense of self-worth. How do I get rid of this mentality?

Hello! You asked, "How do I get rid of this mentality?"

I admire your self-awareness. Let's examine your question.

You said you were introduced to a man you liked. He has a master's degree from a key university, while you have a junior college degree. You feel inferior, anxious, and powerless.

You know you're not good enough for him, but you can't tell him. Instead, you act vainly, trying to show him you're worthy.

You were ignorant and foolish. When he stopped contacting you, it was probably because he was disgusted with you.

He has never hurt you, and you think he is a decent person, so you feel even more that losing him is your fault. You are most inferior in that you did not do well in school. Finding a partner with a good education is a dream of yours.

You are married, but you still feel inferior and think you are not worthy of your spouse.

This idea is childish, but it's true. You know you need to grow, but the idea that you're not good enough makes you feel down.

I'll share my views below.

The best time to plant a tree was ten years ago and now.

The best times to plant a tree were ten years ago and now. Since ten years ago is already in the past, it is now in your hands.

If you feel inferior and ashamed about your education, you can start working hard now. You can take a junior college to bachelor's degree program or pursue a master's degree. It is easy to improve your education.

If you want to improve your education, you can.

Questioner, I hope my answer helps. I love you!

Hello, host!

From the landlord's description, it is clear that they feel inadequate and inferior.

I will give you a warm hug to bring you comfort.

It's not just the host who experiences this. Many people develop a certain degree of inferiority.

Only some people can face their inferiority squarely and make psychological adjustments on their own.

And some people become overly involved and unable to extricate themselves.

There are definite reasons for the development of an inferiority complex.

1. The original family

Childhood experiences undoubtedly affect the psychology of adulthood.

This is likely because of parents with a strong desire for control.

If unmet needs are not addressed, they will have long-term consequences.

They develop a sense of inferiority because they are unable to truly express their needs.

2. Experiences during school years

School is the first small society after leaving home.

If they don't perform well in school,

Things that happen between classmates are important.

It will also affect a person's character.

If they don't receive guidance in a timely manner,

They will become introverted and inferior.

3. When they enter society

And it is even more confusing in society.

If you don't have a clear goal or position for yourself,

It's easy to lose yourself and develop serious inferiority complexes.

Then, review the period in which your situation was formed.

Pull yourself out of the swamp of inferiority through self-suggestion.

You need to stop feeling inferior and start becoming confident.

1. Examine yourself correctly, neither overestimate nor underestimate yourself, and accept yourself.

Everyone is a unique individual and cannot be compared to others.

So get rid of the mentality of comparing yourself to others and assess your own strengths and weaknesses correctly.

Make up for your shortcomings, develop your strengths, don't overestimate yourself, and don't undervalue yourself either.

2. Eliminate the feeling of unworthiness. You deserve to be loved and to be worthy.

Everyone who comes into this world is worthy of love.

If you cannot win the favor of the person you love, it is not because you are not lovable.

Your two destinies will meet.

You will always find someone who will warm you and love you.

In the process of getting along, regardless of status and education,

You will know your true match when you feel comfortable with them.

3. Find what you're good at and cultivate it. This is how you find a sense of self-worth.

In any relationship between two people, the other person is always attracted to your strengths and bright spots.

You must find your own strengths, constantly improve yourself, and be a better partner to the other person.

This will enhance your abilities and boost your sense of self-worth.

Let the other person be impressed by you too. Don't waste your time wondering if he'll leave you one day.

Finally, I will explain from an energy perspective that

People with the same frequency attract each other. This means that people who can get together are also able to appreciate and tolerate each other.

People who feel comfortable but have different energies will always have conflicts and argue easily.

You've done it! You've met a partner with the same frequency as you.

If you think the other person is excellent, then you must be excellent too.

Instead of feeling apprehensive, you should improve yourself a little bit every day.

Become more confident and become someone worthy of him!

I wish you a happy life!

I am June, and I love you, world!

Hello, dear questioner! It's like meeting face to face, isn't it?

After reading your long and thoughtful description, I can see that you are a brave partner. It was really courageous of you to come to this platform and ask for help, even though you were feeling confused. I can't even imagine what you went through, but from what you've written, it's clear that you have a desire to grow. That's something really special.

Take a deep breath and let's work through this together, based on what you've told me.

At the start of your story, you told me about how you met a man you really liked through an introduction. He was a master's degree holder from a top university, while you were a junior college graduate. I could tell you were feeling a bit insecure and anxious. I could tell you felt like you weren't good enough for him, but you were afraid to tell him. Instead, you acted vainly, finding all kinds of excuses to show that you weren't that bad. You were just trying to show him what you could do.

Looking back, I realize I was a bit of a fool. Later, he stopped contacting me, probably because he was feeling a bit disgusted with me.

"He has never hurt me, and I think he is a gentleman, so I feel even more that losing him is my incompetence." It's so understandable to want to "deserve him." You tried every way to prove that you are not bad, and also hoped that through these performances, the other party would pay more attention to your own merits and establish and develop an intimate relationship as you expected.

It looks like the other person took the initiative to cut off contact first. You said, "Later, he stopped contacting me." I'm not sure how you feel about that. It seems a little abrupt and strange, and it looks like the other person didn't give you an explanation before not contacting you.

I'm so sorry to hear you broke up with that person because they didn't do enough.

There are so many factors that affect the depth of a relationship! If you want it to operate more and more in line with the expectations of both parties, it's so important that both parties work together to run it well. If only one party makes an effort while the other party only stays in a passive position, there's a greater risk of the relationship hitting a bottleneck.

I also noticed in your description that you are now married and your loved one treats you well, which is such a wonderful thing! It's clear that you deserve to be treated well. Regardless of the other person's background or title, they are just an ordinary member of the world living their life. And it's not easy to meet the right person and enter into marriage!

There are two psychological terms that I'd like to mention: "sense of unworthiness" and "self-rumination."

It's totally normal to feel unworthy sometimes. We all have our moments! But when you feel guilty or attacked when you get some good stuff, it's time to take a step back and check in with yourself. You deserve all the good things in life! Sometimes, we hide in our safe zone to protect ourselves from causing trouble. But this can also mean that we ignore our true inner needs. So, it's important to recognize when you're feeling unworthy and give yourself the love and support you deserve!

And "rumination" refers to the tendency to interpret confusion in a negative way. For example, if you feel wronged in a relationship, you may only think about how you have not done enough. The more you think about it, the more annoyed you become, and your internal strength runs low. We've all been there!

You've made it this far, and that's proof enough of your excellence!

I just wanted to say a quick word to you: you deserve all the good things in life!

Take good care of yourself, and remember to work hard to maintain the marriage you have now, my friend.

Hello, question asker!

From what you've told me, it seems like you have a really good understanding of yourself. But when you become aware of this comfortable feeling, it's like the start of something new.

In your description, I sense a deep sense of unworthiness and inferiority. I'm so sorry to hear that! What are the causes of this? Is it due to your family environment and the way you got along with your parents, or is it due to your own comparisons with others?

Take some time to really think about this.

It's totally normal to feel this way! Many people feel the same way as you do. It's not just the reasons listed above. It could be that you see the good in the other person and ignore your own good, or it could be that you prefer a certain appearance of hers!

In your description, you say that you are now married and that it is good for you, but that the uncomfortable feeling has returned. So, it's really important to pay attention to why you feel this way. If you really are as you say, and your lover, would he choose you?

I just want to check in with you and see if this is how you feel, or if it's just a fact.

I'd love to know what your friends and your husband think of you!

I'd love to know what your life would be like if a miracle happened and this uncomfortable feeling disappeared. What have you done to make this feeling go away?

After this uncomfortable feeling disappeared, would you say you were different from how you are now? Who would notice the difference?

I don't know all the details of your situation, but I'd love to offer a few small suggestions based on how I've been feeling lately. I hope they'll help you feel a little better.

First, try to become more aware and adjust your mindset.

It's totally normal to feel inferior sometimes. We all have our own insecurities. It's good to be aware of where these feelings come from and when they pop up.

I'd love to know when you don't feel this way. And what do you do when you don't feel this way?

These are all great resources that can help you find ways to cope with these negative emotions. Then, you just need to adjust your mindset a little. I know it's tough, but you're strong and you can do this! Your husband chose to marry you, which means you're special to him and he treats you well. You are worthy of love and happiness. So, you just need to adjust your mindset a little and believe that you are worthy.

And secondly, try to accept yourself and adjust yourself using positive mental suggestions.

Nobody's perfect in life. We all have our little quirks! The key is to accept our shortcomings, our inferiority, and our sensitivity to it, and to get along harmoniously. That way, we can face problems bravely. We can also use positive psychological suggestions to adjust ourselves, telling ourselves, "I can do it, I'm worth it," and here, you can practice meditation more.

And finally, don't be afraid to seek help from outside resources.

I get it. When I'm in the thick of negative emotions, I need a little help to get out of it. That's why I seek counseling. I'd also suggest that you seek help from a professional counselor. They can use their expertise to help you delve into the root causes in your subconscious. They can create a safe, accepting, and warm environment for us, where we can become empowered and gradually change ourselves.

I just want to let you know that I understand this is really tough for you. There must be a reason for these negative emotions, and it's not your fault. But when you become aware of them, that's the start of change. As long as you don't give up, I believe you will get better and better. We just need to learn to see our own strengths and strengthen them. That's how we'll find the strength within us. I know you can feel your partner's love for you, and I'm sure you also want to treat your partner well.

It's so important to remember that negative emotions can really get in the way of us loving ourselves and others. If we don't accept ourselves, it's hard to accept the love of others, and it's also difficult to give love to others. So, it's essential to learn to love and accept yourself. This means accepting your strengths and working on your weaknesses. Once you've done that, you'll be able to love your family even more!

Hello,

My name is Huizuko, and I am here to tell you that you can overcome this. I can see from your description that you have had a bad experience, and I empathise with you. It is clear that the person you like and appreciate does not like you, and this has led to a deep inferiority complex and a feeling of powerlessness.

It may seem like a long time has passed, and you are now happily married and in love. However, this inferiority complex and feeling of not being loved still haunts you. This experience has left a deep mark on you, making you feel mediocre, inferior to those with higher education, unworthy, and even unable to hold your head up in front of such people.

Let me be clear: inferiority complex is a normal emotion. We all experience it to a greater or lesser extent at some point in our lives. The classic psychological work, "Inferiority and Transcendence" by the renowned psychologist Adler, states at the outset that due to the finite resources and limited space on earth, as well as the inevitable constraints of our finite lifespan and energy, we will all experience some form of deficiency, inadequacy, and inferiority at some point in our lives.

This is a very common human emotion and a fact determined by the objectivity of human society and history.

However, the reasons for each of our inferiority complexes will be different. For example, the questioner may feel inferior because of their educational background. Some people may feel inferior because they don't look good, while others may feel inferior to others because of their age, figure, income, and so on.

One of the most important characteristics of this emotion is that it amplifies the flaw we care about, and we even feel that our entire being is defined by this flaw. You said that because of your low level of education, you feel that you are "bad, incompetent, mediocre, and not worthy of the person you like."

Reading this, I feel for you. Based on the other information you have described, such as the fact that you have a partner who appreciates and loves you, it is clear that you have many other good qualities. However, you have not mentioned any of these, and you only feel that you are all bad.

Based on this understanding of inferiority complex, I am going to suggest two directions for you to think and act.

First, recognize that there are many ways to measure a person, and that it is complicated. No one's life can be defined by a simple aspect or attribute. You don't need to deny yourself completely just because you are inferior to others in some ways.

Let's be real. Even the highly educated people you admire have moments of inferiority. They have things that aren't as good as yours.

For example, think about whether a highly educated person is likely to have health problems due to long-term stress at work. Do you really think they have fewer friends and an uninteresting life because they have devoted so much time and energy to their studies?

They may have a high IQ but a low EQ and be poor at talking and dealing with people. One thing is for sure: a high degree does not guarantee them a partner who supports and loves them, but you do.

I understand that it's not easy to think this way. You may feel that what you have is completely inferior to their high academic qualifications. But a high academic qualification is just that—a high academic qualification. It doesn't ensure happiness or make one person superior to another.

Due to the nature of my work, I am surrounded by many highly educated people. I used to admire and like them, especially because of their academic qualifications. However, I soon learned that some of them were extremely promiscuous in their romantic lives, leading chaotic private lives and harming countless people. Some were constantly struggling with the idea that they were not good enough and were on the verge of saying goodbye to the world. Some were arrogant and self-important, had no friends, let alone intimate partners. And some were excellent at work but just couldn't find the right person, so they kept dating and getting disappointed every day after work. Once the label of "highly educated" is removed, they are all just ordinary people experiencing the same joys and sorrows as you and me in the world.

Second, you must learn to affirm yourself and define your own value.

You are the only one who gets to decide who you are. You can ignore the million other opinions out there that say you're no good and don't deserve anyone.

If you feel bad about yourself, you will live according to this belief.

In life, we will always encounter such people. They are not just average. They are confident and love themselves very much. Such people will also always find people who appreciate and love them in the same way, and will therefore attract good enough careers and relationships.

I want you to be aware that in the rest of your life, I only want to allow you to be inferior in one thing. That is that you don't love yourself enough, you don't affirm yourself enough, and you always feel that you are not good enough.

Your description makes it clear that other people occupy too large a proportion of your life. In fact, if this were a movie with you as the main character,

The supporting actors in the movie have already reduced the voice of the protagonist to a low volume. It's even sadder that the supporting actors who love and approve of you also have very little screen time, and their words have no effect. However, those who have disowned you have been playing the leading role all along, and you have even completely given up the criteria for evaluating yourself to those who dislike you.

Honey, there are always people in this world who don't like us. There are many reasons for this, including metaphysical reasons or situations that cannot be explained logically. However, the most precious and important things to us are only ourselves and those who truly appreciate and support us.

Take the focus and the lead back to yourself. Think about the people you really admire and like, and cherish those who get along with you and love you. Think more about these issues and do the relevant exercises.

1. Know yourself objectively: identify your strengths and weaknesses.

List your strengths and weaknesses separately on a piece of paper. Tell yourself without judgment that this is you, this is how you are, and you will do your best to live your life on this basis.

Let your partner, friends, and family read it after you've finished writing it to ensure fairness and objectivity. This way, you can avoid excessive self-deprecation, even when it comes to your strengths. If you have a chronic inferiority complex, you may need someone to remind you before you realize it.

2. Think about what you like. What kind of life do you want? And focus on achieving your goals, not on comparing them to others.

You don't need to live better than others. You just need to make sure you are happy.

Everyone's life is a unique work of art. Your goal should be to become the best version of yourself, not to become a second someone else.

3. Accept other people's dislikes, but don't let this judgment affect your judgment of yourself.

Understand that there are many complex and uncontrollable reasons for others liking or disliking you. Even if you have a high level of education, there may still be people who don't like you.

It doesn't matter if other people like you or not. What matters is whether you like yourself, and you can control that. Start today and choose to like yourself a little bit more every day.

4. Replace the automatic negative self-talk in your head with self-affirmation.

Affirm your true, detailed, and specific strengths and lower your standards.

Every day, you must discover new strengths and aspects of yourself that deserve recognition. Keep a self-affirming journal to do this.

I can feel your desire for self-growth, and I know you have the ability to achieve it. However, prolonged self-suppression and inferiority complexes have imprisoned a lot of the energy of life itself.

A very important topic of self-growth is how to correctly understand oneself, affirm and accept oneself, and like oneself more and more. Every life is unique and perfect in itself. If there is an end to self-growth, it must be a return to a coherent and complete life full of joy and delight.

You will succeed on this path. You will get closer and closer to it, and you will become more and more satisfied with yourself! ????

Greetings, original poster.

From your description, it is evident that you possess a low sense of self-worth and an anxiety/it-is-very-stressful-to-go-from-being-a-staff-member-to-a-manager-what-should-i-do-about-my-inferiority-complex-and-anxiety-24215.html" target="_blank">inferiority complex, which leads you to believe that you are undeserving of the attention of others. I can empathize with your feelings.

I am a junior college graduate, and I am plagued by feelings of inferiority, anxiety, and a sense of powerlessness. I am acutely aware that I am not worthy of him, yet I am hesitant to acknowledge my inferiority and unable to muster the courage to confront my inner anxiety.

Instead, I engage in self-aggrandizement, seeking to substantiate my worth through a multitude of justifications. This behavior can be perceived as a form of self-promotion, an attempt to demonstrate my suitability for the other person's esteem.

It is evident that you perceive a discrepancy between your educational background and that of your partner. This discrepancy gives rise to feelings of inferiority, lack of confidence, and anxiety. Your actions and behaviors reflect a desire to present yourself in a way that is perceived as admirable, yet this approach only serves to accentuate your perceived shortcomings. Authenticity and sincerity are essential qualities in any expression, and they are crucial for fostering genuine connections.

If one treats another in a manner that is contrary to their expectations, the other will perceive this discrepancy.

Subsequently, he ceased communication, presumably due to disillusionment. He did not inflict any physical harm upon me, and I consider him to be a gentleman, which reinforces my conviction that my loss of his affection is a consequence of my perceived incompetence.

Subsequently, the gentleman in question did not contact you. This may not be indicative of any dislike on his part, but rather a recognition that the two of you are not suited to each other. It is possible that certain behaviors on your part may have caused him discomfort, leading him to choose to end the relationship. You have indicated that he has never been violent towards you and is a gentleman. However, it is also possible that he perceived a lack of confidence in your abilities. Indeed, a lack of confidence is arguably the most damaging quality a person can possess, and it is also a sign of a lack of charm. Without confidence, it is difficult for a person to attract the interest of others.

Despite being married and receiving favorable treatment from my partner, I still experience feelings of inferiority and incompetence, as well as a sense of being undeserving of his affection. I recognize that he possesses intellectual abilities that I do not, yet I am unable to overcome these self-deprecating thoughts.

This may be perceived as a juvenile sentiment, yet it accurately reflects my emotional state. I am aware that I must mature, yet the notion that I am inadequate for him leaves me with an overwhelming sense of inadequacy.

Despite being married to an individual who treats you well, you still perceive yourself as worthless. It is possible that you hold the belief that education is of paramount importance and that intellectuals represent the pinnacle of human achievement. However, this perception may not be accurate. While education is undoubtedly valuable, opinions on its significance vary considerably. In my view, you possess a highly proficient skillset, which is commendable. The ability to complete basic education, comprehend the fundamental tenets of personal development, and demonstrate growth, autonomy, and critical thinking skills are of paramount importance.

The following is a proposed solution:

[1] One might posit that education is not the sole determinant of success. It is possible to consider the relationship between having and not having an education. Some individuals who have received an education achieve little, while others who have not attained such a qualification possess considerable knowledge. This suggests that learning is an inherent ability, and that the value of an education is not necessarily indicative of one's capabilities. Furthermore, the relationship between education and knowledge is worthy of examination.

[2] Cultivate self-confidence and engage in further reading. The questioner is currently experiencing feelings of inferiority and believes that reading is an important activity. However, we can also make reading a driving force for ourselves. It is possible that we are seeking a partner because we desire a specific kind of fulfilment, but we can actually satisfy this need ourselves. Becoming confident and knowledgeable, it is not too late to start reading more.

[3] The optimal intimate relationship is the most enduring. The compatibility of two individuals in an intimate relationship is not solely contingent on their educational level. The quality of their interpersonal dynamics also plays a pivotal role. The necessity for personal growth is widely acknowledged; however, this growth necessitates a comprehensive understanding of oneself and others, the identification of requisite changes, and the ability to transcend negative emotions, excessive inferiority, and the notion that no individual is inherently superior to another. In essence, all individuals are equal in their intrinsic value. To ensure the longevity of an intimate relationship, it is essential to cultivate self-confidence, maintain a healthy and mutually supportive relationship, and embrace the equality of all individuals involved.

Ultimately, it is my hope that the original poster will develop a sense of confidence, foster an independent mindset, and become a resilient and assured individual. I extend my best wishes to them.

Upon further examination of the question, it became evident that the fundamental issue pertains to the sense of inadequacy that the questioner attributes to himself.

Let us first examine the genesis of this mentality. It emerged subsequent to a comparison between the questioner's education and that of the other person, resulting in a sense of disparity. However, does a sense of disparity inevitably give rise to an inferiority complex?

In such cases, two scenarios typically emerge. The first is the motivation to work assiduously to eliminate the discrepancy, as exemplified by the questioner's resolve to improve themselves and attain the ideal state. The second is the realization that eliminating the disparity is a formidable challenge, which can give rise to feelings of helplessness and even self-criticism. This may culminate in a perception of inadequacy and inferiority.

The questioner indicated a preference for the second option.

However, it can be argued that all comparisons can be traced back to the gap between oneself and an idealized standard. It can be proposed that it is not necessarily the other person who stimulates oneself, but rather that idealized standard that has long since appeared. As the questioner stated, they feel that their education is not adequate, and thus they will seek a partner with a superior education to compensate.

This sentiment of inadequacy has been a persistent presence since an earlier point in time.

It is possible that an external source instilled the belief that the individual in question is inadequate within their own perception. This belief has since become deeply entrenched, manifesting as a persistent need for external validation and acceptance. The underlying motivation may be a desire for recognition and affirmation from others. The individual may be awaiting a partner who will recognize their inherent worth and accept them unconditionally.

It is hoped that this person will be present in your life, or that you will be able to transcend those who have previously denied you and embrace this positive experience when it arises.

Hello, question asker! I'm Jiang 61.

First of all, thank you for trusting us and being willing to tell us about your situation so that we can help you. You are always troubled by feelings of inferiority, and you don't know what to do.

Now, let's look at how to overcome this inferiority complex.

1. Inferiority complex

1. Vanity

You said, "I once met a man I really liked through an introduction. He was a master's degree holder from a key university, while I was a junior college graduate. I felt inferior, anxious, and powerless. I knew deep down that I wasn't good enough for him, but I was afraid to tell him about my disadvantages and couldn't muster the courage to tell him about my inner anxiety."

Instead, I acted vainly, finding all kinds of excuses to show off that I wasn't that bad, just to prove to myself that I was worthy of him. Looking back, I was pretty foolish.

Later on, he stopped contacting me, probably because he was disgusted with me. He never hurt me, and I think he's a gentleman, so I feel even more that losing him is because of my incompetence.

You feel inferior because of your low level of education and worry that you're not good enough for other people. This makes you anxious and worried that others will look down on you. You want to show off your abilities in front of others, but you're actually insecure and can't face your shortcomings.

2⃣️, psychological

You say, "My biggest insecurity is that I didn't do well in school and have a low level of education. I'd love to find a partner who did well in school."

You're looking for a partner who can make up for your shortcomings. I imagine you've considered the next generation and hope to complement each other's strengths. This is probably why you're looking for someone who is better at studying than you are, so that you can feel at ease about your future family.

3⃣️, lack of self-confidence

You say, "I'm married and my husband treats me well, but I still feel inferior and very self-conscious. I feel that I'm incompetent and despised by the type of person I like. I admit to myself: He's an intellectual, and I'm mediocre. I'm not worthy of him."

It might sound a bit childish, but it's how I really feel.

You're married and should be living a comfortable life. You've also found someone with more knowledge than you.

However, you still feel insecure living in this environment because you worry about the disparity in knowledge. You feel inferior to others because of this.

You can't even hold your head up. Your inferiority complex is really just a lack of confidence in yourself.

2. What causes inferiority?

1⃣️ Psychology and thinking

You have a tendency to compare yourself to others.

From what you've shared, it seems like your inferiority complex stems from focusing on the strengths of others while overlooking your own shortcomings. You tend to compare yourself to others, and when you see how others excel in certain areas while you struggle in those same areas, it can make you feel inferior.

Rigid thinking

Because your thinking is so rigid, you think that as long as someone is better than you in one way, you're not good and you'll be seen as inferior. You've eliminated all your other strengths that are superior to others, which forms a self-attack.

2⃣️, a sense of worthlessness

You worry about what other people think.

You're always worried that you're not as good as others at school, so you focus all your energy on how others see you and trying to prove yourself. You'll cater to other people's opinions or pretend to know something when you don't, just to cover up your narrow knowledge.

You don't often think about how you can improve your knowledge and abilities to become truly outstanding. This makes you hesitant when doing things, and the more you try to hide it, the more you feel that others have already seen your problems.

If you second-guess yourself too much, you'll end up being less productive.

Not seeing yourself as valuable

From the moment you described feeling rejected by the boy you liked, to still feeling inferior after you got married, it seems like you've been denying your own worth. You've been putting others on a pedestal and feeling like you lack a sense of self-worth.

3. Upbringing

One of the main reasons for your inferiority complex, lack of self-confidence, love of comparison, and concern about what others think is that your family constantly criticized you, accused you of things, and compared you to others to put you down. This made you believe that you really are bad and have no self-confidence. You are used to seeing yourself in this way.

Even as an adult, you still put yourself down to prove that you're not good enough.

3. Change

You say you understand the need to grow yourself, but the idea that you are "not good enough for him" is making you feel down. You ask, "After breaking up, I can't find a sense of self-worth anymore. How do I get rid of this mentality?"

You know your own problems, but you think it's tough to change your mindset. So, you want to get help through the platform to get rid of your mindset and inferiority complex and gain a sense of self-worth. I have a few suggestions for you.

1. Know yourself.

As Chairman Mao once said, "No gold is pure red, no one is perfect." We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

The first step to getting rid of a lack of self-confidence and a sense of self-worth is to be able to view and understand yourself objectively.

It's important to know yourself.

It's important to recognize your strengths.

Have you ever thought about what attracted your husband to you in the first place? He must have had a reason for being good to you. That's your strength.

You have other strengths. Without them, you wouldn't be able to hold your own in society. Try to discover and recognize your strengths.

Find out what you enjoy doing in your free time.

As you discover your strengths, don't forget to pay attention to your preferences and give them time to do the things you enjoy.

Be okay with who you are.

When you realize that you're not great at reading, try to accept it and stop feeling sad or stressed about it.

Play to your strengths.

By focusing on your strengths, you can become better at the things that matter most to you. For instance, if you focus on the things your husband values in you, you can become better at them. This will make him appreciate you more, care about you more, and love you more. The same applies at work: if you do what you're good at, you have a better chance of success and greater self-confidence.

2. Build self-confidence.

Create a portfolio of your achievements.

Make a book of merit for yourself. In it, you can record your achievements in your areas of strength, your own successful experiences, and the lessons you've learned. Take the time to understand what makes you successful and what holds you back. This will help you become a better version of yourself.

Self-motivation is key.

When you hit a goal or make progress in a strength area, treat yourself! It could be a meal, a small gift, or something else that lets you celebrate and keeps you motivated.

Building Self-Confidence

Taking the time to reflect on your progress and achievements helps you recognize your abilities and feel a sense of self-worth. When you have abilities and see achievements, you'll gain self-confidence.

When you have self-confidence, you're not going to worry about what other people think because you know you're the best judge of your own abilities. That means you're in control of your own success or failure, and it all comes down to how you see yourself and your ability to control your own actions.

Building self-confidence also comes down to this.

3⃣️, switch up your mindset

Take a look at yourself from a developmental perspective.

People aren't static; they can change and improve with time, knowledge, and experience. So, if you want to change yourself, stop focusing on your shortcomings and look at yourself with a developmental and positive perspective. See the differences between your past and present, and where you've improved.

This will help you track your own progress and growth, see the changes in yourself, and boost your confidence.

The idea of developmental thinking is…

Apart from making you feel inferior to others and discouraging you by making you compare yourself with others, it's also important to recognize your rigid thinking, which makes it difficult for you to envision your own future.

It's time to change your way of thinking. Try using "if...then..." divergent thinking to look at problems from multiple angles and find solutions. This can help you develop new paths in life.

For instance, if I'm not a top student but I'm great at socializing, I can still put in the work and be more confident than others. I'll definitely be better at it than others and will gain more connections and better interpersonal relationships, achieving more.

Developmental thinking can help you see things differently, think more flexibly, and boost your confidence and sense of self-worth. So, it's important to make the most of it to help you move on from feeling inferior and start thinking about your future.

That's all the advice I can offer you, and I hope it helps you gain some confidence.

I wish you the best of luck!