After high school, I became increasingly introverted. In my second year of high school, I suddenly collapsed, feeling unworthy of living?

Genes and your depression/how-to-balance-work-life-and-relationships-with-family-5485.html" target="_blank">family are something you can't choose when you're born. What kind of appearance you have depends on what kind of appearance your parents have, and what kind of emotions you have depends on your own values and perceptions. Perhaps for many reasons, you've made yourself very closed off, and I'm here to help you open up again!

It's totally normal to feel like you don't want to connect with the outside world when you're feeling depressed. It's also normal to feel irritable, meddlesome, and annoying when you're feeling this way. You used to love playing games and watching movies, and you used to fight with your parents. Then more and more people commented that only studying can make you feel saved, which is a really common feeling when you're feeling depressed.

So you studied, and then you discovered that you were incredibly ugly, ashamed, and disgusted with yourself. As a person with strong moral self-discipline, you allowed yourself to be constantly depressed, torturing your self-esteem and constantly hating yourself, and causing yourself a lot of harm. It seems that you have reached a state of "breaking the pot and throwing it away." I'm here to help you through this, and I'm so sorry you're going through this.

Even so, you might still worry about what other people say about you. It's okay if you still have a glimmer of hope that you can change for the better. Your mind is already full of too many thoughts, which makes it difficult to calm down and feel anxious.

And keep falling into the standards you set for yourself. Don't worry, your appearance anxiety can be resolved! You don't have to change your appearance. You also have some depression, so I recommend going to a psychiatric department for diagnosis and psychological counseling. You can also read some related books in your spare time, including "I Overcame Depression," "Depression: An Introspective Cognitive Therapy," and "The Noon Demon: Depression Is a Secret You and I Share." I wish you well!

ZQ?

Good day. I am a white hat.

I am grateful for your trust in me and for sharing an experience from your life with me. I would also like the opportunity to accompany you on this journey.

I am grateful for your trust in me and for sharing an experience from your life with me. I would also like to be able to accompany you in this way.

From your description of your experiences, I am not yet able to fully comprehend the extent of the challenges you have faced and the difficulties you have endured. I am committed to understanding, empathizing with, and responding to your situation to the best of my ability.

I understand that you have expressed feelings of inadequacy, including a sense of undeserving of life, a perception of being "good for nothing," "not good-looking enough," "self-conscious," "short-tempered," and so on. These sentiments appear to be influenced by circumstances that have shaped your current outlook and personality.

I understand that you feel you do not deserve to be alive, that you are worthless, ugly, self-conscious, and short-tempered. These circumstances have led to your current state and formed the person you are now. I cannot say with certainty whether this is the case, but we may be able to find the answer at some point.

If this is indeed the case, I believe that living, studying, and surviving in such an environment is indeed very challenging. This kind of unbearability is not just for high school and college students, but also for a 30-year-old man in society.

Furthermore, you have indicated that prior to attending high school, you had fair skin, were a model student, possessed a good sense of humor, were very popular, and loved the world and were loved by the world. You had a strong interest in games and movies.

If the facts align with this scenario, I believe that living, learning, and growing in such an environment would be highly rewarding. It would be advantageous to gain the sense of autonomy I currently seek. It would be a significant addition to my professional experience. I would also be interested in pursuing a career in such a dynamic and promising field.

Despite the internal and external challenges you faced, you maintained a positive and studious attitude, which led to your admission to university. Even when you felt overwhelmed and unable to continue, you persevered without taking a leave of absence or dropping out. This is a noteworthy achievement. Consider how many individuals can still persevere in school and the classroom under such circumstances.

In conclusion, if your experience can be described as a mathematical problem, you have already demonstrated the equivalence of this formula or corollary through excellent thinking, a fluent proof, and a perfect conclusion. These are well-established results.

I believe you may have been a bit too harsh on yourself and unfair to yourself. You have already done a perfect job and made considerable efforts, even your best efforts. While the results may not have met your internal expectations, this may be due to external factors or a need to adjust our expectations.

After implementing the necessary adjustments, we are prepared to proceed with a minimalist approach. This strategy may facilitate the attainment of our desired outcome. Upon reaching this interim milestone, we can then assess the optimal path forward to achieve our overarching objective. This approach may prove effective.

If you are amenable, we may ascertain that there are multiple avenues to achieve our objective, or even that there are innumerable possibilities, as there is no limit to knowledge.

For the time being, let us conclude this session. It is my hope that the journey we have taken together has provided you with a different perspective. Should you wish to continue, you are invited to join us at any time to explore, interact and discover further. You are a powerful individual. I encourage you to do so.

Good day. Upon reviewing your self-description, I noted the following words and phrases, which resonated with me strongly. Have you ever been treated in a similar manner?

The experience is painful.

It appears that there are two distinct personas residing within your psyche. One is a discerning adult who "sees everything clearly" and is constantly analyzing and dissecting everything with a magnifying glass or even a microscope, consistently identifying shortcomings and worthy of "hating." The other is akin to a child, the subject of scrutiny, experiencing anger, humiliation, and shame, occasionally rebelling, and at other times conceding that they are indeed flawed.

In your account, these conflicts originated in middle school. It is plausible that you experienced these sentiments and disputes at an earlier age, but at that stage, your sense of self was not yet sufficiently developed, and you did not form an internal opposition. Typically, after children enter adolescence, their physical strength, intelligence, and sense of self begin to increase, and at this time, they will rebel against "authority," both in their hearts and in reality.

You engaged in frequent conflict with your parents and ultimately felt compelled to concede. It is possible that your decision to concede was influenced by your affection for your parents.

However, the conflict between love and hate can only remain internalized and is not amenable to reconciliation.

You stated that you experienced two episodes of emotional distress, one during your high school years and another during your college years. You indicated that you are uncertain about the circumstances surrounding these events. Could these episodes have been precipitated by external factors? It is possible that you may have transformed the irreconcilable and uncontrollable conflicts in your external environment into a confrontation between two aspects of your personality, both of which may have been motivated by a desire to avoid these issues and find a resolution.

The "censor" adult and the "censored" child have become internalized aspects of the self. This phenomenon can be conceptualized as "internal object relations." Modifying these patterns and healing the love-hate relationship can be achieved through a counseling relationship.

Hello, dear questioner!

I'm Yi Ming, your heart exploration coach!

I have carefully read your long account and I totally get some of your troubles!

You know exactly how to love yourself and what to do! So let's do it!

I'd absolutely love to chat with you! I really hope I can offer you some small comfort and inspiration.

1. Embrace the child inside you that has not grown up!

Dear child, The wonderful thing about you is that you have so many desires! And they all want to be satisfied at the same time, which leads to conflict.

It is because we have the opportunity to strengthen ourselves that we can create less internal conflict.

It is because we lack inner strength that we have so much internal conflict—but we can change that!

We've made a big leap from our previous narcissism to our current feelings of inferiority, doubting ourselves, and relying on others. It's a big change!

We may not have adapted well because we had a smooth childhood and a lot of awakening during adolescence—and that's okay!

Erikson summed up adolescence as a conflict between identity and role confusion, which is a fascinating concept!

Self-identity is all about feeling familiar with yourself, knowing your future goals, and getting that inner confidence from people you trust.

Your conflict may not have been resolved as well as it could have been, but that doesn't mean it can't be resolved! It might just take a little more time and effort.

He feels overwhelmed and wants to change, and he will!

By getting sick, acting spoiled, and thinking that he is ugly, he avoids the responsibility of growing up—and he's doing it in the best way possible!

I was thrilled to see the somewhat powerless child inside and I was excited to accompany him as he witnessed his own growth experience and slowly grew his own strength.

2. Affirm yourself more and rebuild your self-belief!

Adler's theory of teleology is the perfect explanation for your current state of mind!

And you are aware of it, which is great!

As you said, "I seem to have become accustomed to this lifestyle of relying on others after lying down. If I make myself comfortable, doesn't that mean I'm not sick? If I'm not sick, I need to live on my own, and if something goes wrong, I need to deal with it and take responsibility myself.

"That's so exciting and scary!"

And the best part is, we can achieve this escape by allowing ourselves to have various symptoms, abuse ourselves, and torture ourselves.

On the other hand, we may feel under-equipped, but there's no need to worry!

By adjusting our perception, we can make a huge improvement!

And what if we're not so good-looking?

And you know what? Beauty and ugliness are relative!

What is beautiful in the eyes of some people may be ugly in the eyes of others — and that's what makes life exciting!

Beauty and ugliness are subjective, like "beauty is in the eye of the beholder." And that means that even if we are not beautiful, it does not mean we are absolutely bad!

In the past, there was also the saying, "Since ancient times, pretty women have had short lives."

What matters most about beauty and ugliness is how we perceive it!

As you know, "ugliness" is just something we keep holding on to. But there's so much more to you than that!

It's time to rebuild your beliefs!

We are all different, and that's a wonderful thing!

But everyone has their own unique value!

Take your time to see your own amazing characteristics, not your shortcomings.

And the best part is, you can learn to accept yourself a little bit at a time!

3. Go for it! Take your time and allow yourself to fail sometimes.

If we are negative towards ourselves, then we simply use up the energy we need to change internally!

You say, "My mind will keep analyzing, and it will never stop, just like a machine without emotions that has nothing but analysis." Well, I say, there's no need to fret! The way to break through this problem is action, concrete and measurable action.

For example, set yourself some totally achievable, clear, and specific small goals!

For example, you could get up, wash your face, tidy the table, or go for a 5-minute walk!

Focus on the present and on the action!

And the best part is, through such actions, we will gradually see our own strength and sense of control!

Take your time and enjoy the journey!

And remember, you can allow yourself to sometimes fail. You don't have to demand that you change all at once. Instead, move a little at a time through the small steps principle!

You can even try keeping a record, etc.!

Focus on all the amazing things you've already achieved!

You can absolutely find a method that suits you!

Because you are the expert on your own life!

Absolutely everyone has their own amazing resources!

If you're interested, you've got to check out "Embrace Your Awesome Self"!

Wishing you all the best!

I am the individual who posed the initial question, and I would like to add something to the discussion.

After starting university, I experienced a significant increase in anxiety. At that time, I was seeking a new activity and was making progress, but then I had a sudden setback.

I experienced a sudden and unexpected breakdown after taking a photo before winter vacation and perceiving my appearance to be significantly unappealing. My sense of self-worth and confidence rapidly deteriorated.

I was previously narcissistic, but I suddenly became extremely self-critical. I felt ashamed, disgraced, and deeply disgusted. I should also mention that I am a person with extremely strong moral self-discipline. I have had numerous breakdowns because I feel that I don't deserve it.

I found that using this kind of self-abuse was an effective method for achieving my desired outcomes, and I also placed a great deal of importance on the opinions of others. As a result, I experienced a decline in my mental health.

My pre-existing depressive condition worsened, and I fell ill.

I experienced a loss of appetite and motivation. Each day, I awoke with the desire to improve my appearance. I was in a state of distress. I became self-deprecating and self-rejecting. I was unable to allow myself to rest or feel better.

I continued to dwell on the fact that I was unattractive and felt that my actions and logic were flawed. I lacked confidence in myself and did not believe I deserved comfort.

After a year of self-abuse, I began to recognize that something was amiss. I was unable to form friendships and lost interest in my studies. I also developed a dependency on self-abuse. In short, I was content regardless of the extent to which I was hurting myself.

I am aware that I can love myself, encourage myself to live life to the fullest, and that I am not being judged. Even if I am being judged, I should still love myself. I am aware that I can tell myself to go ahead and say it, go to sleep, and that there is no reason to be afraid.

However, I am unable to do so. It appears that I have become accustomed to a lifestyle of relying on others after I lie down. If I make myself comfortable, it indicates that I am not sick. If I am not sick, I am expected to live independently, and if something goes wrong, I am responsible for addressing it.

This situation is so challenging and intimidating that I have been unable to take action for two years. I am still deeply constrained by fear and inferiority, and I lack the capacity to address it.

My spirit is no longer aligned with my best interests. It is destructive to my well-being. I want to be able to communicate openly with others, without concern for appearances. I want to be able to sleep when I choose and express my thoughts freely.

I am experiencing a high level of distress. I am concerned for my wellbeing and that I may not have much time left. I am feeling very weak, my heart is fragile, my body aches, I have no energy, and I am seriously worn out. I am going to collapse soon. I have to change.