After several thoughts, I gave up, made a choice, felt a moment of emptiness, yet suddenly felt afraid?

☘️ Give yourself a hug.

I'd like to discuss the following points with the questioner:

1. What is the questioner afraid of?

After going through a series of previous sweet and sour experiences, and now back to the present, the questioner is relaxed. There's no longer the intense work of the past, and there's no longer the feeling of being torn between work and maintaining a long-distance relationship. Finally, when there's time for oneself, this sense of "fear" initially means that one has not immediately adapted to the current pace of life. This is normal. It's like when we suddenly go from running fast to walking after a while, although our pace has slowed, our heartbeat is still in a state of acceleration.

Another way of looking at fear is to get the questioner to think and participate together. For instance, when you feel afraid, what people or things come to mind? Have you had similar feelings in the past?

The questioner can use the question to understand themselves better, find out where their emotions come from, and then make changes based on their own situation.

2. How past events affect our present situation

I think the questioner has tried hard before, but things didn't turn out as expected. This is something we can't control or change. When an opportunity arises, all we can do is seize it and do our best. We can't decide the outcome.

But we can allow ourselves to grieve after failure, as the questioner said, to cry and let go of our overwhelming emotions. A good cry will make us feel better. When we feel our emotions are out of balance, we should give ourselves a chance to slow down, combining work and rest. Slowing down is also for better progress.

3. What work means to you and how you define your worth

From the question, I can see that the questioner has already had a certain degree of self-reflection and self-awareness. Every choice has two sides to it, and as long as you don't go against your own heart, that's fine. We'll all feel fear and confusion when faced with the unknown on the road ahead. We'll also suddenly feel afraid when lying in bed at night, just like the questioner, because we don't know what challenges lie ahead. It's just like going to an unfamiliar place, worrying that you don't have the ability to do it, which is only natural.

The question asker can start with the little things in life. Every time you succeed, it's a way to gain more control over your life.

I'd like to encourage the questioner to remember that the stars won't let down those who are hurrying. So, just try your best to live the way you like, and good luck!

Good day, question asker.

I empathize with your circumstances and understand your concerns. I have previously faced a similar predicament and believe that the "sudden feeling of fear" can be more accurately described as a lack of adaptability or uncertainty about the future. Let's examine the following:

I empathize with your sentiments and circumstances. I have previously encountered a comparable predicament and believe that this abrupt apprehension can be more accurately characterized as a deficiency in adaptability or a lack of clarity regarding the prospective plan of action. Let us examine the following:

"I've evaluated the situation and determined that this position requires too many compromises."

I am unsure what the original poster (OP) means by "sacrifice." It could be that they are missing their partner or that they lack free time.

I am unsure what the original poster (OP) means by "sacrifice." Does this refer to missing one's romantic partner, lacking sufficient free time, or something else?

It is not a sacrifice in the traditional sense; it is simply a matter of considering different factors when making decisions at each time period.

I am unsure what the questioner means by "sacrifice." Does this refer to missing one's partner, having limited free time, or something else?

It cannot be considered a sacrifice, but rather a difference in the factors considered when making decisions at each time period.

After working for more than four years, I found the intensity and long hours to be challenging. I sought to change my working environment but, due to the economic situation at the time, I was unable to transition to another position. Instead, I pursued a self-study degree while continuing to work.

"After working for more than four years, the intensity was very high and the working hours were long. I wanted to change my working environment, but due to the economic situation at the time, I decided not to change jobs and instead pursued a self-taught degree while continuing to work."

Previously, due to financial constraints, I was only able to work and take self-study exams concurrently, with a considerable workload. At that time, it was simply a matter of choosing one option over the other. Consider that if you had quit your job at that time, the pressure would have been significantly increased. Therefore, there is no need to place undue blame on yourself.

Previously, due to financial constraints, I was only able to work while taking self-study exams, which entailed a considerable workload. At that juncture, it was necessary to select that option. Consider the potential consequences of having quit your job at that time; the pressure would have been significantly greater. Consequently, it is not productive to dwell on self-blame.

With regard to the matter of love that does not come together

With regard to the matter of love that does not come together

We will undoubtedly encounter several individuals along our journey to finding genuine, long-lasting love. They may possess admirable qualities, yet the timing may not be optimal. Despite the temporary setback, we must maintain the belief that we will eventually connect with the ideal person, the one that is perfectly suited to us, neither too soon nor too late. This could very well be a matter of destiny.

It is inevitable that we will encounter a few individuals along the path to finding a suitable partner. They may appear to be promising prospects, but it is possible that the timing is not yet optimal. Despite the temporary setback, it is essential to maintain the belief that we will eventually connect with the ideal person, who will be precisely what we need at the opportune moment. This may be a matter of destiny.

It is inevitable that we will encounter a few individuals along the path to finding a suitable partner. They may appear to be promising prospects, but it is possible that the timing is not yet optimal. Despite the temporary setback, it is essential to maintain the belief that we will eventually encounter the ideal person, the one who is precisely what we need, neither too early nor too late. This may be a matter of fate.

Furthermore, it appears that the questioner has attributed more of the responsibility for the lack of a successful outcome to themselves. In fact, there are reasons for both parties involved. The critical issue is whether the two individuals have collaborated to overcome and resolve the issue, even if it requires compromise. If neither party is willing to compromise and consider the other's perspective, it is probable that even if they do proceed with the relationship, it will not be sustainable.

It would appear that the questioner has placed the onus on themselves for the lack of progress. In fact, there are reasons for both parties for not getting together. The key issue is whether the two parties have worked together to overcome and solve the problem, even if it is a compromise. If neither party is willing to compromise and think more about the other, it is very likely that even if they get together, it will not last.

Furthermore, it appears that the questioner has identified more factors that contributed to the lack of progress in the relationship. It is important to recognize that there are often multiple reasons for the dissolution of a relationship. The key is to determine whether both individuals are willing to collaborate in finding solutions to the underlying issues, even if it requires compromise. If neither party is open to compromise and is not willing to consider the other's perspective, the relationship may not have a chance of success, even if they remain together.

Given the often complex nature of marriage, it is not simply a matter of the two individuals involved. There will be numerous challenges along the way, which must be addressed through negotiation between the two parties.

If the questioner has not yet terminated the relationship, it may be beneficial to allow for another opportunity to assess the possibility of reconciliation. If it is determined that there is no chance of reuniting, it may be advisable to simply move on and strive to become a better version of oneself while awaiting the arrival of a more suitable partner.

"I've taken a more relaxed approach," but "I don't seem to be learning as much as before."

This may be due to the previous high work pressure and fast pace. Now that I have suddenly quit my job, the pressure is not so great and I have free time, but I feel like I'm missing something.

This may be due to the previous high work pressure and fast pace. Now that I have suddenly quit my job, the pressure is not so great, and I have free time, but I feel like I'm missing something.

I was unable to dedicate as much time to learning as I would have liked due to time constraints. Now that I have more time, I naturally feel less pressure. This is a normal reaction.

In this situation, it would be beneficial for the questioner to relax for a few days and then create a detailed plan, including reading a few pages a day and doing a few exercises. By refining their goals and completing them daily with the appropriate quality and quantity, they will gain a sense of accomplishment.

Additionally, you may wish to consider pursuing other interests.

It would be beneficial to reflect on whether your work commitments were preventing you from pursuing other interests.

For example, activities such as reading, travel, social visits, educational classes, and obtaining qualifications may be beneficial.

When your life is full, you will not experience fear.

There is no need to be overly concerned or dwell on the situation. It is advisable to simply proceed with the desired actions. The necessary time will be made available, and the future holds promising prospects.

I hope my response will prove useful to the original poster. Kind regards,

I hope my response is helpful to the original poster. Best regards,

Hello, you lost your job and car after your relationship ended. This made you feel afraid of losing your way. Let's look at what's going on.

Why didn't you care about your boyfriend's feelings?

Your boyfriend has left you for a better social status. You are also working hard for money while preparing for a self-taught exam. You are similar to him in that you are also striving for a better status. So it seems that what previously bound you together was a feeling of not being good enough.

You were like comrades-in-arms, not lovers. You were both too busy chasing each other to care about feelings.

Taking on heavy feelings for someone else and sinking into a quagmire.

He feels hopeless and uncomfortable in Hong Kong. This is something everyone should face alone when fighting for their identity. When he blames you, he wants you to take on these negative feelings. You feel guilty about this.

You think he's better than you and have high expectations. Being with such an "excellent" person is good for you. Your relationship lacks mutual support. You dump your problems on him.

He has fulfilled his wish and gained a better status, which means the alliance is over. He seems to have entered a wider space with other prospects.

He leaves you, and you're alone with your problems.

You need to take responsibility for your own problems. Only then can you meet a good person and stand on your own two feet. Otherwise, you're just doing someone else a favor.

Best,

Zhu Rong Psychology – Zhou Xiaohua

Hello, I'm Teacher Zhang, your friendly neighborhood psychologist. I hope my answer can help you.

From your account, it's clear you're a very motivated and outstanding girl. You've put in so much effort, hoping to find a warm lover and enhance your self-worth.

I'm really sorry to hear that your boyfriend left. It must have been really hard for you and it's understandable that you're still not over it.

I'd highly recommend the TV series My Life for your relationship. It's so important for women to improve their knowledge and abilities if they want to live a worthwhile life.

You have chosen an excellent boyfriend, and you try to become better yourself. If you had to choose between the inequality in your marriage and your own self-respect and independence, which would you prefer?

You've already achieved so much! You can pass any exam or work challenge. It's totally normal to have these thoughts when you're going through a rough patch.

Could it be a fear of the future, a lack of security, or a sense of loss?

Or is it that you're struggling to adjust to your current single status? The reality is right in front of you, so try not to let your emotions take over. You might be feeling tired right now, or the problem you're facing might be difficult to see through with your current perception. Then you can keep working hard. You have the power to control your own success and value. You can choose something that will make you relax, then gather your strength and keep moving forward. Heaven will not disappoint those who are diligent, and your efforts will definitely reap unexpected rewards.

Hello!

Host:

After reading the post carefully, I can feel the anxiety and unease of the poster from the content. At the same time, I also noticed that the poster bravely faced his own heart and actively sought help on the platform, which was a great move! It helped the poster to better understand and understand himself, better understand his own unease, and thus adjust himself to meet a better self.

Now, I'm thrilled to share my observations and thoughts from the post, which I truly believe will help the poster see herself from a richer perspective!

1. The possibilities are endless! You may feel a little fear at first, but it's an exciting time.

In the post, the host mentioned that he has been working for 4 years, and the work intensity has been very high and the hours long for those 4 years. After living a life with such high intensity and a fast pace for 4 years, you actually get used to it. Although this may have made us sacrifice a lot, we are used to working and living in such an environment and are familiar with this way of life.

Now that it's over, it may take some time to adjust. But it's also a great opportunity to explore new things and make new plans! With so much free time, the possibilities are endless. What can you arrange for yourself?

2. Fear may stem from a broken heart, but there's no need to worry!

From the post, the host mentioned her ex-boyfriend. I can feel that you both like each other, and I'm sure you'll be together again soon!

And the end of this relationship also had a great impact on the host. When you have it, the role of this person may not be so obvious, but when you lose it, he may become very important—and that's a wonderful thing!

When we were together, I could still chat with him and tell him my innermost feelings. I could feel his care and love, and it nourished us, helped us relieve stress, and made us feel that we were not alone, that there was another person in this city who cared about us and loved us. All this gave us a sense of security!

But now the relationship is over, and you get to start fresh! You have the chance to face the pain of a broken heart and move on to bigger and better things. When you let go of work, you have more time to focus on yourself and your emotions.

So, there will be feelings of fear. What I want to say about this relationship is that you didn't break up because you didn't love each other, but because you couldn't give each other the love you wanted. And that's okay!

So, let's wish each other happiness!

3. Fear: Perhaps it is because of his anxiety.

In the post, the poster shared that they've been working hard to study for the exam on their own. It was inspiring to see that they didn't even consider giving up the exam when their ex-boyfriend needed them.

Absolutely nothing wrong with self-improvement! But why is the host working so hard? What's the point of such hard work?

Is it really just a matter of improving and growing yourself? Could there be some irrational beliefs or excessive expectations from other important people in this effort?

Or could it be that the host is working so hard to distract himself from his anxiety?

These are great questions for the host to think about! They'll help the host understand themselves better. Why does he panic when he stops?

The host may want to review his or her own growth experience [objectively from an adult perspective] to see if there are any unreasonable beliefs that have affected him or her. If there are, then we can make adjustments! See if it is because of conditional love that makes you think that you can only be loved and accepted if you are excellent.

4. Get ready to learn some awesome tips for facing your fears head-on!

Fear is an emotion. And here's the great news: you can learn how to manage your emotions! It's true. Often, when our emotions arise, our bodies will react.

For example, when you are nervous, your heart rate will increase, and when you are afraid, your muscles will become stiff. So when the host realizes that he is afraid,

You can try focusing some of your attention on your body to see if there is any discomfort. Focus on that area, feel it, and observe it. You'll be amazed at how your emotions will ease up as a result!

And there's more! You can also use breathing to relax your body. Try abdominal breathing to relax your body.

So, take control and manage your little emotional wait!

I really hope these ideas will be of some inspiration to the poster! My name is Zeng Chen, and I'm a certified psychosomatic coach.

Dear questioner,

I'm Yi Ming, your new heart exploration coach!

I have carefully read your question and I'm excited to answer it!

When we were young, we all had similar pains and confusions, and we can help you work through them!

I'd absolutely love to chat with you about it!

1. How do you balance work and relationships?

It's a challenge, but we can solve it!

You have an amazing job with long working hours! At that time, you were facing some challenges with the upcoming self-examination and the leader who was about to be promoted at work. Looking back, were you unable to take care of your boyfriend at that time?

So you can't blame yourself? Absolutely not!

You are in different places, and later, your boyfriend gets to go to a foreign country! From a practical point of view, is it more difficult to maintain this relationship?

Two lovers who were once very much in love are more likely to have more variables because they are busy with work and study and are not together.

Absolutely! Try to see what valuable experiences and lessons this experience has left you with.

You said, "It's been four months, and you've found that this job requires too many sacrifices." But that just means you get to make some exciting new trade-offs!

In the future, when we encounter similar situations, it'll be a breeze for us to make decisions that suit us!

I'm excited to see if you've already accepted the breakup in your heart!

At that time, did you patch up the wounds of this relationship? Even though you cried, you did it!

Now is the perfect time to move on from this relationship!

Be grateful for having met each other and for the time you spent in love!

Maybe you met at the wrong time. But now, wish each other well!

So, with a big, heartfelt farewell, we can more easily set off for a new and exciting life!

2. Look at what you are free to do and what you are afraid of.

You were always very busy before, with work and studying, and the pressure was high.

Then you did some tidying up! Is it that you're not doing this job anymore?

Are you focusing on self-examination alone?

We used to have a full schedule, and now we suddenly have free time! It's normal to feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it's also an opportunity to re-establish a new order.

And guess what? We also get to find out what we are actually afraid of!

Are you afraid you're not making the most of your time?

Are you afraid that you won't be able to continue your studies and finish your exams on your own?

Or I'm excited to find out if I've made the right choice!

Everyone has fears. But we can conquer them! All we have to do is make the fears concrete and then verify them for ourselves. This will help us get through them and come out stronger on the other side!

We are often afraid of our own fears, but we can conquer them!

This is something to be aware of, and it's a great thing to keep in mind!

In terms of your current state, facing a breakup and a job change are two major events in life that will give you a chance to grow and recover.

Take all the time you need to get through this period!

3. Delve into the meaning of work, life, and relationships!

When we're faced with such changes, we gain a whole new perspective on ourselves!

It's also a fantastic opportunity for deep thinking!

We absolutely believe that sacrificing too much for work is not worth it!

It can be very stressful, but it's also a great chance to focus on your love life!

You can also think about whether you'd like to make some changes to your free time.

Let's take this opportunity to think about what kind of life we want to lead!

What kind of work do you want to do?

What kind of relationship do you want?

After this incident, you have sorted things out and reflected on them, and I am so proud of you! You have grown as a person.

Take all the time you need!

If you're interested, you've got to check out the book Lifelong Growth!

Bless you!

The world and I love you!

Hello! I'm sending you a warm hug from afar.

You feel the loneliness, emptiness, helplessness, and longing for understanding, companionship, and support in your heart right now.

Accept your current state of being unable to learn and your fear as a true physical and mental expression and reaction after experiencing a series of major losses (break-up, quitting your job, selling your car). Get along with your current state and experience and feel what the hidden needs behind your emotional state are.

For example, you may desire to be understood, accompanied, supported, or considerate. By exploring the hidden needs behind your emotional state, you can become more accepting and understanding of your current self.

If you feel painful, you should record all your current emotional feelings by writing an emotional diary. This helps you to better perceive and understand the hidden needs behind your emotional feelings, cultivate a better ability to be self-aware and care for yourself, and find ways and methods to better respond to and satisfy your inner needs.

The breakup, quitting your job, and selling your car are over. However, the emotions and feelings generated by these events at that moment have not disappeared. They have stayed in your subconscious, and you need to address them.

You suppress and hide your painful emotions because they are so painful. This allows you to devote yourself to preparing for exams and your current work life. However, when similar situations arise, the emotions that were once painful are awakened.

You must accept and respond to your emotions. To do this, you must first become aware of your emotions and try to get along with them.

Take deep breaths in the moment of the emotion and record your emotions in a diary. These two simple steps will help you become aware of, understand, and accept your emotions, and seek to better respond to the needs hidden behind the emotions.

You have experienced too much loss in a short period of time. However, you can accept and respond to the emotional feelings caused by the loss in a timely and accurate manner. This will bring you positive growth. You will reflect on what you have done well, what you lack, and what is insufficient because of the loss. You will then allow yourself to have a certain degree of pain and bravely embrace a new life with the pain. What do you say?

I am Lily, the little Q&A Pavilion listener. I love the world, and I love you.

I can see that this job has taken up a lot of your energy and made you feel a lot of pressure. It seems that your time has been encroached upon and squeezed so much that your usual love and some exams are being affected. From the description, it seems that your love has already been affected.

Given the limited time we all have, you have chosen to work and study at the same time. You have a boyfriend on this journey, and you and he often face considerable pressure. It would be beneficial for both of you to support each other and make progress.

It might be helpful to consider that what he feels is not necessarily love. Additionally, the fact that the two of you have gone from being in different places to being in different countries makes it more challenging to meet and communicate in the future. This situation also requires careful consideration. Is breaking up the only option, or are there other possibilities that could be explored?

You still have an exam to prepare for, and it can be challenging to focus your attention when you let go of the past. It might be helpful to consider letting go of the past and focusing your attention on the exam, so that you don't have more regrets.

You have made many sacrifices for your own plans. At this time, it would be helpful to prepare yourself, accept your situation, and face your fears. You may wish to consider whether you can pass this exam and change your fate for the better. This is something we can try to do. I recommend that you seek psychological counseling and take a career aptitude test to fully understand your current situation.

Could I ask you a question, ZQ?