After ten years of marriage, I no longer feel her concern. The marriage has lost its meaning. What should I choose?

Dear questioner, I'm sending you a hug and I'm really sorry to hear you're going through a rough patch. We all need understanding, comfort and support from the people closest to us when we're feeling low, but it's really disheartening when we don't get it.

Marriage and family need both people to support each other, understand each other, and help each other out. Sometimes, when you're feeling really low, a kind word of encouragement, a word of understanding, and a bit of care can give you strength you didn't know you had.

If you don't get it, it'll only make you feel more hopeless.

Here are a few ideas for you to think about:

1. Take a closer look at what led to this low mood. What happened that set it off?

How long has this feeling been going on? Could it be that there are some unanswered questions in your heart that have been building up and causing this negative feeling to grow?

When physical symptoms appear, even your colleagues can see it. So, the most urgent and crucial thing is to first find the cause of your current state. What kind of problem has accumulated over time to become the problem you're facing now?

2. Work on your relationship with your wife. Think about how you communicate with her—the language you use, your tone of voice, and your mode of interaction. People can connect on an emotional level.

You need to communicate more with your wife. Don't just dump your problems on her. Show her you care about her problems and her emotions.

Show her you care. She'll respond in kind.

In a year, you'll be able to connect with others, develop telepathic abilities, and empower yourself and others.

3. Keep developing yourself and your skills, and work on your ability to overcome challenges. Make yourself stronger from the inside out.

It's also a good idea to improve your diet and sleep, do the necessary exercise, and chat and exchange ideas with friends. A heart-to-heart chat with a friend can also help you release stress and can have a negative effect on the mind.

4. Let go of all emotions. You can do some exercises, listen to music, empty your mind, and seek help from a counselor if you need it.

All of these can help to boost your energy levels. It's important to focus on becoming stronger internally, exploring your own potential resources and identifying your trigger points.

Look for ways to benefit and avoid the harm. Get help from resources that support personal growth. Improve how you interact with others and change your mindset. These are some effective methods you can use. I hope they help you.

I'm not sure I understand what you mean by "mental problems." From my experience, when we're in a state of distress, our vision and perception are often limited to a very small range, which often only makes things worse, just as you currently feel about your marriage. Maybe you were dissatisfied with your marriage before (most people are), and now because of your bad state, these feelings have been magnified. Coupled with your wife's response, which makes you feel that she doesn't care about you, your emotions are even more complex—frustrated, lost, sad, dissatisfied, angry, etc.

From what you've said, it's not clear to me that there are any major problems in your relationship.

If you think about it, you feel like marriage is meaningless and you don't know how to choose. It seems like you have an answer, but you're also pretty hesitant. It seems like you think that getting married is the answer to your problems.

The real issue here is how to get yourself out of this problematic state, not the choice itself. Once you've resolved your own psychological issues, your marriage might not be as problematic anymore.

This is also why, when a client is in counseling, we advise them not to make any major decisions during that time.

You mentioned that your psychological issues have come up again. I'm not sure how you managed to overcome the previous problems, but your past experiences might offer some insight. If you're still struggling, you might want to consider seeking professional help.

Hello,

Your message is short, but I can tell you're feeling helpless and frustrated.

You want to be noticed and seen.

You mentioned psychological problems. Have you been assessed by a professional?

You're complaining about your wife. She doesn't pay attention to you, doesn't understand you, and makes you feel uncomfortable, lost, and sad.

I'll send you flowers and sunshine to boost your energy.

There are two kinds of love: loving and being loved. Which do you prefer?

Do you love yourself? Do you know yourself?

Do you know yourself and your needs?

To love others, you have to love yourself first.

You say you are vulnerable. How can you make yourself stronger?

Look in the mirror and think about your successes.

Organize your life to be more fulfilling. This will make you more charming.

Kids love strict teachers.

Outstanding people are sought after.

Your wife will be moved by your changes.

I hope this helps.

Dear question asker,

You have been married for ten years, and you are stating that you have recently developed psychological problems once again. Is that accurate? It is simply that you have experienced psychological problems previously. The intervals between these episodes are unclear.

It would be beneficial to ascertain whether you have informed your wife about your psychological issues on more than one occasion. This may result in her perceiving your excessive expectations and desire for love and attention as a source of concern. In particular, the support of your family and wife provides a sense of comfort and assurance.

It seems plausible to suggest that your wife's responses indicate a lack of willingness to provide assistance, suggesting that she may perceive your concerns as overly complex. While it is possible that she is genuinely unconcerned, it is also possible that she lacks the capacity to offer meaningful support. Intuition suggests that she may have previously provided guidance on this matter.

It is not uncommon for individuals to disregard their partner's advice over time, leading to a sense of helplessness on the part of the partner.

If that occurs, it would be prudent for you, who are currently eager to receive assistance from your wife, to adopt a more flexible strategy. It would be beneficial to explain your situation to your wife once more. If discussing the matter directly does not yield positive results, you may consider expressing it in writing on WeChat and sending it to your wife. This should include the fact that you have sought assistance here due to this problem, as well as a truthful account of your current circumstances and the genuine needs of your wife. This will enable your wife to gain a deeper understanding of the situation.

It appears that you are implying that your wife is not as capable as your colleague. However, I do not believe that to be the case. This brings to mind a story about a child who was not angry with his mother. He then ran away and was subsequently provided with a bowl of noodles by an unknown individual. The child then felt that the stranger was a thousand times better than his mother. It would seem that a similar sentiment was expressed at a later point in time.

One might inquire as to the number of bowls of noodles prepared by the subject's mother. While this anecdote may not be the most suitable illustration of the present issue, the underlying rationale remains consistent. This leads to the question of the wife.

It can be reasonably assumed that she loves you and that this love is present in her heart.

It would be beneficial to consider the following: you have been married for ten years, and the love you initially felt has since transformed into affection. Therefore, it is inaccurate to conclude that your wife does not care about you. However, her suggestions are logical and should be taken into account. She is not a psychologist and lacks the expertise to provide the level of comfort you seek.

Indeed, the fact that you were able to arrive at this forum in a timely manner to pose a question demonstrates that you possess greater capabilities than your wife. It is evident that he lacks the keen powers of observation and did not discern that you were seeking assistance. This is a limitation in his abilities, rather than a reflection of his attitude. If your wife's abilities were such that she exhibited indifference towards you, it would be a cause for concern. However, in the absence of any tangible action on her part, it is unfair to place the blame solely on her.

If the preceding argument is deemed to have some merit, it would seem prudent to initiate a more in-depth discussion with one's spouse regarding the matter in question. One could suggest that it would be beneficial for the wife to accompany the husband in pursuing the desired course of action, and that seeking professional psychological assistance is also an option. Alternatively, the husband could request that his wife accompany him in the aforementioned undertaking. It is likely that, if formulated in a clear and specific manner, the request would be met with a favourable response.

It would be beneficial for you to engage in a frank and open dialogue with your wife regarding the specifics of the situation.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon emerge from this challenging situation, and I wish you well.

Good morning,

If a marriage is destined to be unhappy, the optimal solution is to end it. However, if you are unable to discern the reality of the situation and are merely seeking to avoid the discomfort of the present circumstances, this is an unwise decision. It is essential to exercise greater discernment in your choices.

Which type of woman is least appealing in the workplace?

Women who express their opinions freely are more likely to disregard the feelings of others. Those who speak loudly and firmly may come across as indifferent and harsh. Conversely, women who are tactful and gentle are more likely to achieve their objectives without creating conflict. Which approach is more effective? The most suitable approach is for the woman to listen attentively and then express her thoughts, as this demonstrates sincerity and provides reassurance to her partner.

Furthermore, why does a wife, when her husband needs her most, suddenly say helplessly, "What can I do? I can't help you..."? It may be that she feels awkward discussing such matters, or it may be that she also has her own feelings about the marriage and feels just as unhappy and deprived as he does. As a result, she is too preoccupied with her own issues to offer comfort to anyone else.

It would be beneficial to understand why the warmth provided by a stranger is perceived as being warmer.

If the questioner has some understanding of "expectations," it is not difficult to understand that our expectations of strangers seeking warmth are often relatively casual or relatively low. This is because strangers do not have more obligations to take care of our emotions. In contrast, close family members, people who know me better than others, have greater family obligations. Therefore, when we naturally seek love and warmth from family members, the expectations at this time are obviously much higher than those for strangers. However, in this situation, if the family members' ability or inner energy to love is lacking, the person involved will always fail to receive timely warmth.

It is not possible to make a generalised assessment of this issue. Rather, a preliminary conclusion can only be reached after a deeper understanding of the situation at the time and the specific psychological circumstances of all people involved.

What strategies can be employed to foster positive relationships with loved ones in order to strengthen the bond of love?

1. Gain an understanding of the people around you.

It is not uncommon to hear individuals in relationships or marriages express frustration with their partners' unpredictability, lack of transparency, and perceived loss of positive attributes. However, it is crucial to assess whether these changes are truly indicative of a partner's transformation or a result of a lack of attention and mutual growth.

It is important to understand that life is in a state of constant change. A woman who is initially gentle and attractive may not maintain this image after marriage, and a husband may not remain a gentlemanly and caring character throughout their marriage. As time passes, they will continue to devote energy to their respective areas of responsibility and strive to maintain a positive outlook on their current situation. However, when their actual abilities are unable to support the challenges they face, they may increasingly rely on their partner to provide support. However, due to personality differences, some individuals may not recognize the "help" message sent by their partner, leading to a gradual decline in the relationship.

Please describe the situation with the current wife.

2. Learn to communicate with love.

Despite your best efforts, it seems that there is a significant disconnect between you and the other person. It's challenging to convey your message effectively and have it resonate with the other party. Why is communication so difficult? Why can't the other person be willing to listen patiently?

This is a common response when we are uncertain, but it is important to ascertain whether the other person has the same needs. If so, whose input should be prioritised?

The term "communication" does not refer to a one-time discussion between two parties. Rather, it encompasses a process of open dialogue and mutual understanding. Effective communication requires a willingness to engage in constructive dialogue with a genuine desire to comprehend the other person's perspective. This approach enables a deeper level of understanding and facilitates more effective decision-making.

3. Identify your core needs.

The questioner states that they no longer feel their spouse's care, that they no longer find marriage meaningful, and that they are unsure how to proceed.

It is evident that the questioner is dissatisfied with his wife, yet he also holds affection for her, which is why he is uncertain about how to address the current issues.

Firstly, it is essential for the protagonist to ascertain his wife's genuine thoughts, rather than forming assumptions about her intentions. This kind of dialogue is akin to a conversation that has been abruptly terminated. Without a comprehensive understanding of the situation, it is easy to misinterpret the other person's actions. It is crucial to clearly communicate your initial position and the desired outcome from your wife. If your assumption is that your wife has lost interest, she will calmly express her thoughts. However, if she is still invested in the relationship, she will likely deny your assumptions and provide a detailed explanation of her perspective, aiming to clarify any misunderstandings.

It is crucial to ascertain the truth before taking action. This entails identifying the drawbacks of your relationship and working with your partner to address them. Once these issues have been resolved, it is essential to maintain a positive outlook and continue moving forward together. This approach is the most effective way to solve problems and foster growth in your marriage.

It is therefore crucial to identify one's true inner needs in a marriage. This can be an effective method for resolving misunderstandings with one's partner and opening one's mind.

I hope this message finds you well.

Dear questioner, I appreciate your inquiry.

In light of your query, I am inclined to engage in further discourse with you.

1. The issue of lacking a sense of care and support from one's spouse.

In regard to the assertion that "after ten years of marriage, I no longer feel cared for, and the institution of marriage is devoid of meaning," and the subsequent observation that "after ten years of marriage, I recently developed psychological problems once more. I require substantial support and attention from my family when I am at my most vulnerable. I approached my wife on two occasions to discuss my recent difficulties, and on both occasions, I received the same response: 'What can I do? I am unable to provide assistance. Your reactions are excessive.'"

It is evident that at this particular juncture, the inner child within you has dissipated, and concurrently, you are driven to solicit assistance, attention, and empathy from your wife.

However, your wife does not provide the same level of response as your colleagues and friends, which results in feelings of disappointment and sadness.

It would be beneficial to return to one's self and identify the underlying issues. For instance, it appears that the inner child has certain expectations of the wife.

When one desires to be understood, supported, and loved but does not receive these things, it is not uncommon to experience a range of negative emotions, including doubt about the suitability of one's partner.

Internationally renowned psychologist Christopher Meng posited that "the road to hell is paved with expectations."

It can be seen that the higher the expectations, the greater the disappointment. It is therefore difficult to comprehend why our partner has made such a statement. In order to gain insight, it is necessary to observe our partner with curiosity.

Furthermore, the assertion that the respondent's wife is not providing adequate care and support requires a critical examination of the veracity of this claim. It is essential to ascertain whether the respondent's perception of his wife's lack of care is indeed accurate or if it is a misperception.

2. Regarding the recent psychological issues.

In regard to the aforementioned point, it is this writer's opinion that the period in question may indeed prove to be a challenging one for the individual in question, necessitating a certain degree of attention.

Additionally, the question indicates that the questioner, a man, is a particularly resilient individual, capable of acknowledging and confronting his own vulnerability.

It is important to note that a significant aspect of one's strength as an adult is the capacity to recognize and utilize it.

In the case of psychological problems, it is typically necessary for psychology students to conduct further exploration. This may entail the identification of psychological conflicts or the presence of pathological mental symptoms, among other possibilities.

In the event that the symptoms are pathological, it is imperative to seek diagnosis and treatment at a professional psychiatric hospital, which will facilitate the restoration of one's original state of health.

If the conflict is psychological in nature, it may be either significant or relatively minor. In the case of the former, it may be resolved with the assistance of oneself and important others, such as family and friends. However, if the conflict is more challenging to address and causes distress, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a professional psychologist or psychiatrist.

It is also important to be aware that if this pain is not addressed directly, it may be suppressed into the subconscious, which could have a significant impact on one's overall well-being.

3. Regarding the selection process.

In regard to the aforementioned question, "Marriage bores me. What should I choose now?,"

Indeed, a considerable number of individuals experience a sense of futility when confronted with the more challenging aspects of marriage. This sentiment is widely shared.

It is therefore necessary to review the importance and ranking of the five major functions of marriage, and it is not too late to make a decision. The five major functions of marriage are: love, sex, raising the next generation together, extending family functions, and expanding social relationships.

It is not feasible for us to provide a definitive response to the question of how to make decisions regarding marriage. Our capacity is limited to offering guidance and insights, with the understanding that the ultimate decision rests with the individual.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to ascertain whether there are alternative options to divorce in the context of marriage, which is referred to as the "third way" and represents a distinct approach.

It is my sincere hope that the aforementioned responses prove beneficial to you. I extend my warmest regards to you, and I wish you well.

Hello, dear host!

I can really feel the confusion of the host, and I totally understand how she feels because, in life,

We all face challenges in life, and our emotions can be affected in different ways.

From what I can see, your marriage is doing just fine!

It's just how the host sees it — that you've been married for ten years and feel a sense of dullness.

Plus, I'm feeling a bit down and could really use someone to chat with. I'm hoping it'll be you!

Your friends and family can see that you're going through a rough patch, and because your wife isn't aware, they feel a bit left out. It's clear that you'd really like to talk to your lover, and who can blame you!

And it's possible that the owner's lover hasn't fully felt your frustration and low mood.

That is, at present, she can empathize with you, so she responds with a gentle, understanding: "What can I do? I can't help you. You're overthinking it."

I'm sure she loves you and your marriage is just fine. We can always change the way we look at things.

Take a moment to think about whether you can handle what's going on right now, and why you're feeling so confused.

Sometimes, when we're going through a lot on the inside, it's also easy to feel anxious and restless, which is what your wife means by "thinking too much."

If you tell your wife the same thing twice and get the same response, and you don't get the response you want, it's okay to feel frustrated. It's also important to remember not to get angry.

I really think the host just wants the comfort of his lover, but he hasn't been able to express his real needs yet.

I really hope the host can find the courage to try again in a different way to communicate with his wife calmly.

1. Observation (observe the host's inner feelings at the moment)

When the mood of the two of you is relatively stable and the atmosphere is relatively good, it would be great if the host could calmly tell their partner, "I've been feeling quite low and unstable lately."

2. Feelings (state your true feelings at the moment)

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I can understand why you're annoyed, but I'm here to help. I'm sorry you feel cold because you can't get my comfort. I'm here for you.

3. Demand (state the host's hope for your lover's attitude towards you) I know you love and care for me, and I really hope you can see that I need your comfort right now.

I know you can't help me solve it, but I just want to talk to you about it. It's so much better to talk about it than to keep it inside. I really hope I can get some comfort from you.

4. Request: What kind of comfort does the original poster hope to receive from their loved one?

I'm sure the host would love a warm hug from their lover, or even just some gentle, encouraging words.

We all experience low moods from time to time. It's totally normal! But if you're in a really bad place, it can be so tough to keep going. It's OK to feel like you're breaking down and crying.

At this time, we may be wondering if we have depression.

It's okay, it's not necessarily the case. Just remember to take care of yourself and adjust your mood when you need to.

Don't rely too much on the people around you. Let yourself become sunny first, and then become someone who brings sunshine to others.

This way, I'll be okay either way.

Come on, you can do it! I know you don't have a big problem right now, and I truly believe you can get out of your low mood.

I just want you to know that I'm sending you all my love and best wishes for a happy life. I truly believe that you will emerge from your cloudy mood soon.

Welcome to Yixinli! We love you, and we love the world, too!

Hello, host.

From your description, I can sense some disappointment in your marriage and your partner. When something happens and you are not in a good state of mind, you hope that your wife can provide comfort, encouragement, and support, but you may find that her response is perfunctory or that she suggests you are overthinking.

If you're interested in understanding the meaning of marriage, I came across an article on the WeChat public account of Yixinli some time ago about love that I found particularly thought-provoking.

"The purpose of falling in love/getting married is to exchange three values:

It is also worth noting that sexual value, which encompasses desire, can be influenced by a number of factors, including appearance, figure, dress, temperament, and sexual harmony.

It is also important to consider the economic value, which includes support, family background, income, assets, and development potential.

Emotional value, that is, companionship, which encompasses temperament, personality, outlook on life, consideration, and care, among other things.

Perhaps we fall in love and get married because we hope to satisfy our desires, receive support, and gain companionship, at least one of the three.

I'm not sure if you've found the answers you were looking for in these "three areas" over the past ten years, or if you've been following a particular model.

While the company and care of a loved one are undoubtedly what we need most at the moment, I feel it may be somewhat subjective to conclude that your wife does not care about you and that marriage is meaningless based on this alone.

It's also possible that other factors may be at play. For instance, your wife may be dealing with her own challenges and may not have the bandwidth to fully understand your emotions. It's also possible that she has lost patience over time due to your recurring psychological conditions.

In the moment, it may be helpful to focus on your own psychological well-being, address any doubts you may have about your marriage, and wait until you feel better before communicating with your wife about next steps.

I hope these thoughts are helpful. Wishing you well!

Dear questioner, What's going on with your recent psychological problems?

I'm worried about you! I can imagine you've suffered, and it's understandable you're in a bad mood.

You want your partner to care for you, but your wife doesn't. This makes you feel sad and disappointed in your marriage. How should you deal with this?

Let's think this through.

You have been married for ten years. This period of marriage has become boring or stressful. You see each other's true appearance more, without hiding anything. This is the most real intimacy. If both parties do not have enough empathy, it will also bring many obstacles to the marriage.

Your wife may not realize how she treats you. Many things can affect this, like the reasons for your marriage problems, her personality, and her own problems at work and at home. While you feel your wife doesn't understand you, remember she's not a professional counselor.

Don't make choices when you're in a bad mood.

If you have psychological problems, professional help is needed.

Just as with physical illness, you need to see a doctor. Psychological problems also require treatment by a psychologist. The sooner you receive treatment, the better.

I hope you can get out of your problems and live the way you want to!

We also had a lot of expectations for marriage. Recently, TV dramas like "Heart Residence" and "When We Meet Again" have really shown the different challenges and annoyances that come up in modern marriages between men and women. After ten years of marriage, you've realized that your partner doesn't seem to care for you as much as you'd like.

It's like your marriage is a widowed marriage, and your partner isn't there for you or showing any care, even though you're already under some pressure at the moment. You want to be comforted by your partner, but your partner just doesn't understand you.

I'm not going to give you any advice either. People often feel uncomfortable in such situations, and you also feel very meaningless. It's as if your marriage is already just a formality. After many years of marriage, people usually either choose to leave or feel that it is as dull as water, without any vitality.

You still have time in your life, but it's slowly slipping away in this lifeless state, towards collapse and boredom. You really need support and attention from your family when you're at your most vulnerable, but your partner isn't helping you. Even your colleagues can sense your change, but your partner doesn't.

It might be a good idea to think about whether your marriage could do with a bit of a boost, and whether some of your partner's actions are perhaps not so helpful. You could try expressing your feelings by writing letters to get their attention. You could also try starting a few little romances to liven things up and bring the relationship back to life. Good luck!

ZQ?

Hello!

You said you're going through a rough patch, that you're dealing with some mental health issues, and that you want to talk to your wife about them. But her response makes you feel detached and uncaring. You feel like your marriage is pointless, and you're really distressed, not knowing what to do.

1. You mentioned you have some psychological issues. Are you feeling emotionally unstable? Or have you seen a doctor and been diagnosed?

If it's the latter, you need to follow the doctor's advice and get the right treatment.

2. The answer I got twice was, "What can I do? I can't help you. You're just overthinking it."

This is what my wife said. It doesn't sound like there's much emotion in it, but it's more of a judgment about whether or not you can really help yourself. After so many years of marriage, has your wife always reacted this way, or is this just now the case?

3. How has your relationship been over the past ten years? Could it be that "a single day of cold weather can freeze three feet of snow"?

4. Be clear about what you want. For example, if you just want her to listen carefully at the moment, tell her and ask her to be patient and listen to you.

5. Look for other sources of support, such as family, close friends, or a counselor. Prioritize your own well-being.

Best wishes!

FF

Good day. I extend a warm greeting from afar.

It is possible to experience feelings of injustice, loss, and disappointment in a marriage when one's spouse does not demonstrate care, support, understanding, or attention.

It is important to note that when individuals feel neglected and misunderstood by those they care about most, they may experience a range of negative emotions, including inner grievances, depression, and suffering. It is essential to allow oneself to fully experience these emotions in the moment.

Then, attempt to reconcile these challenging emotional states, acknowledge them, and identify the underlying needs that give rise to these emotions. For instance, the desire to be understood, valued, cared for, comforted, accompanied, listened to, and supported...

Once the underlying cause of your discomfort has been identified, you can attempt to directly communicate your needs to your wife. This includes how you would like to be treated. In instances where your wife's response to you causes you pain, you can also express your true feelings. This will help her understand that her response makes you feel ignored, unvalued, and misunderstood. In turn, she may adjust her attitude and way of responding to you. Otherwise, not only will your needs remain unmet, but she will also be unaware that her response is causing you harm.

It is also important to be aware of whether your wife's lack of care and understanding for you is a current state or whether it has gradually become this way over the course of your time together.

If an individual does not feel valued, cared for, or important from the outset, the probability of their choosing to remain in the relationship is minimal. In a relationship, the desire to be cared for and valued is a fundamental psychological need for all parties involved.

If you feel that your wife is gradually treating you less valued, understood, supported, etc., you should take the time to reflect on your own actions and behaviours. The way a person is treated determines how they respond to others. If you desire to receive your wife's needs met, you should first take the initiative to give her needs met and respond to her.

Did she feel that her needs were being met in terms of love, understanding, attention, care, and support?

As a relationship is a system, the behavior of one person can affect and drive the other. Therefore, if you desire to receive the response and satisfaction of your needs from your wife, you will first try to understand, perceive, and actively give her the response and satisfaction of her needs. When she feels that you pay enough attention to her and love her, she will be willing to give you the same or even more in return. What are your thoughts on this?

Interactions within relationships serve as a reflection of the parties involved. By actively reflecting on the areas of improvement within the relationship, we can foster growth and address shortcomings. By promptly addressing and repairing the gaps, the relationship can flourish, rather than being constrained by helplessness and blame, and consuming each other.

This is the optimal approach for a mature individual to address and resolve challenges. I would value your thoughts on this matter.

Given that you have been together for ten years, it is evident that a strong foundation of love exists between you. Your decision to seek assistance from a professional platform demonstrates your commitment to exploring solutions that will enhance the current situation. We suggest the following approach:

1. Develop a comprehensive plan for expressing love.

When both parties are in a positive frame of mind, it is beneficial to discuss their respective interests and passions. This can be done in a structured manner, with one or two topics being addressed at a time. It is important to demonstrate care and appreciation for their contributions to the family unit, particularly in terms of providing a sense of ease and relief.

2. It is important to understand each other's love language.

Take note of the aspects of your life that you tend to express discontentment with, that cause you unease, and that bring you joy. These may be indications of your partner's love for you. Similarly, pay attention to and comprehend your wife's expressions of love. For instance, if she complains that you are preoccupied with work, it is likely that she desires your attention and requires your presence.

3. Personal growth is essential. Prioritize your own development and growth through your own efforts. This may include seeking appreciation, support, and understanding. Additionally, cultivate hobbies and interests outside of work to enrich your life and regulate emotions when needed.

4. Be transparent with yourself, communicate your emotions authentically, and acknowledge your vulnerabilities. There is no stigma in disclosing your vulnerabilities to those you trust the most. It is not a sign of weakness, but a demonstration of inner strength.

I would like to take this opportunity to express my gratitude to the world and to you, my esteemed colleagues, for your continued support.

Hello, question asker!

I'm Xiaobai, and I'm here to tell you that you can't worry! I'm going to help you take away all your worries!

After reading your question, I just want to give you a big hug!

I'm excited to share some of my views in the hope that they will be of help to you!

Let's dive right in and tackle the specific situation the questioner encountered head-on!

It's been ten years since we got married, and recently I've been having psychological problems again. I really need the support and attention of my family during my most vulnerable times. I went to my wife twice to talk about my recent difficulties, and the answer I got both times was, "What can I do? I can't help you. You're just overthinking it." (My recent state of mind. Even my ordinary friends and colleagues can sense it. It's not my fault that they're all concerned about me.) This comparison makes me feel very cold at heart. But I know that I can get through this!

It makes me feel that marriage is meaningless. Now what should I choose?

I think you must have been very unhappy during this time. At the most vulnerable moment, the people closest to you did not give you any care or help.

But you have been married for ten years, and it hasn't been easy.

You feel that marriage is meaningless, but how can you deny your partner just because of this one thing?

And here's another thing to think about: how your partner treats you. It's possible she's been through something during this time, which is why she's reacting the way she is.

Maybe she just doesn't understand your situation yet. It's totally normal for there to be some confusion when you're first starting out. There's no such thing as a grudge between husband and wife, so don't worry!

Absolutely! You can definitely try talking to her. You can totally solve the problem.

You can just tell her that you need her care. Right? You have to express it!

Let it out! Don't keep it inside.

❤️ Maybe your marriage has fallen into a period of indifference. Here, I would love to offer some suggestions!

1. Change your attitude and express yourself correctly!

As time goes by and you become more familiar with each other, your emotional investment will decrease relatively. But don't worry! This just means that you'll have more room to grow and change. People who are used to the other person taking the initiative or maintaining the original way of getting along will feel that the other person no longer loves them.

Don't just give unilaterally. She needs to see your hard work and love! Don't just give silently. Let her know clearly and explicitly how much you love her. This way, you'll never misunderstand each other due to various conflicts, and you'll solve a lot of unnecessary troubles!

Once you're married, it's easy to get caught up in your own world and forget about your partner's feelings and needs. But here's the thing: your partner still needs and wants to feel loved and cared for, even after you've tied the knot! If you want your relationship to flourish, you've got to keep showing your partner how much they mean to you.

❤️ ❤️ You absolutely have to learn to express yourself in the right way if you want your marriage to be increasingly warm and happy!

❤️ 2. Create a sense of novelty!

Life is boring, so let's bring some excitement back into it! In married life, one person must bow their head.

It doesn't matter whether you like it or not, if you want to continue, you have to bow your head. There is no right or wrong in marriage, which means you have the power to make it work!

You may have made a different choice at the beginning, but when you have children, a house, and a family, it's a whole new ballgame! Marriage is about so much more than feelings — it's also about responsibilities.

It's so important to consciously maintain the relationship between husband and wife in life with appropriate little surprises and romance! Each person has their own hobbies and independent thoughts.

You absolutely must make time for yourselves and enjoy the time you spend together as a couple! Don't let family responsibilities tie you down.

? 3. Mutual honesty

When you give love but don't receive the same love in return, you may feel a little disappointed and a little uneasy. But don't worry! You can easily overcome this challenge by using various excuses to suppress the other person's emotional feedback. In the silence between the two of you, it will often lead to a cold war in the marriage. But with a little effort, you can turn this around!

After enduring for a long time, one day the emotions will explode after accumulating to a certain level. But don't worry! If both parties can change their way of thinking, patiently and persistently put themselves in the other party's shoes, be more understanding and tolerant, understand more about the other party's difficulties, and consider more about the other party's interests, then in many cases they can avoid unnecessary arguments.

? 4. Boost your communication!

After being married for a long time, both spouses can easily become tired of the trivialities of life and forget the efforts of the other. But there's an easy fix for that! All it takes is a little reminder of how much effort the other person is putting in.

We often reserve praise and respect for strangers, but we can change that! We can make our closest loved ones feel loved and appreciated. We can ask each other goodnight in the morning and evening, give each other a hug, spend more time listening, and give each other more praise. Then, our relationships with our spouses will be stronger than ever!

In summary, these are some of my views and suggestions. I'm thrilled to help the questioner, even though I'm not very talented.

I'm Xiaobai, and I'm absolutely thrilled! The world and I love you!

Greetings, inquirer.

After reviewing your correspondence and becoming apprised of the circumstances surrounding your recent situation, it is evident that your partner's apparent lack of concern and neglect have led you to question the state of your marriage and to feel uncertain about the appropriate course of action.

I empathize with your situation.

If one were in a positive overall state and encountered a similar difficulty, would one be as frustrated as they are now if they told their loved one about it and received the same powerless response?

It is precisely because we are not in a positive emotional state that we will have a negative evaluation of things.

Despite our own personal changes and the elevated expectations we hold of the other person, the other person continues to treat us in the same manner as before.

This is not the desired outcome.

As a result, negative thoughts will be more prevalent.

The question thus arises as to how one might extricate oneself from this predicament.

It is this author's recommendation that the following course of action be pursued:

It is imperative that individuals experiencing psychological distress or emotional discomfort seek professional assistance in a timely manner.

Furthermore, it is essential to communicate with one's loved ones about one's circumstances. It is vital to convey the nature of the situation, the emotional state, and the desired course of action to them.

It is possible that she is truly lacking in practical capabilities.

However, she will be able to comprehend your feelings and provide emotional support.

After a decade of marriage, individuals tend to assume that their partner should possess an understanding and care for them, as well as an awareness of their desires.

Nevertheless, it is important to acknowledge that individuals often inhabit distinct realities and interact with their partners in ways that align with their personal perspectives.

An individual's lifestyle is shaped by their upbringing, and their approach to various situations tends to differ considerably.

Therefore, regardless of the duration of the marriage, it is imperative to communicate regularly in order to maintain and enhance the relationship.

It is of even greater importance to communicate one's needs to one's partner in order to facilitate the meeting of those needs and the development of a robust marital relationship.

The aforementioned constitutes my response, and it is my hope that it proves beneficial.

I extend my best wishes for a prompt and complete recovery.

The date is April 18, 2022.