After the deaths of my grandmother, uncle, and pets, I am unwilling to maintain relationships with others.

Good morning, Thank you for sharing your story with us.

We empathize with your sadness at the loss of a loved one and understand your reservations about the end of a relationship. Such sentiments are understandable.

These are all crucial elements of "life education," and they are inescapable life lessons for everyone throughout their lives.

Let us extend a warm embrace and embark on a joint exploration of the subject of "life education."

1. Growth naturally elicits a range of emotions.

Every emotion is driven by an underlying need.

The loss of your pet has caused you to experience significant self-blame, which has led to feelings of self-denial and self-doubt. You have attributed the puppy's illness and subsequent death to yourself.

The aforementioned self-blame is further exacerbated by the successive deaths of your loved ones.

Let us now turn our attention to the topics of self-blame and responsibility.

Let us now turn our attention to the topics of self-blame and responsibility.

Self-blame is the pain of suffering from some irreversible consequences of one's own mistakes, with the focus on the past. It is a form of self-hatred, whereby an individual hones in on their perceived incompetence, inadequacy, and inferiority to others.

The essence of self-blame is the inability to accept the facts of the present, which leads to a confrontation with reality. Attempting to impose a desired outcome on the present (the "such as it is" of the past) will result in frustration and a waste of energy. Many problems in life stem from self-hatred.

Responsibility (self-affirmation): It is self-attribution. I am the source of everything. What have I learned from this? How can I avoid something similar from happening again?

What actions must I take to achieve the desired outcome? When this is done, the focus shifts from the past to the present or future.

The past is the past. Only by grasping the present can a better future be created. Therefore, self-criticism is counterproductive.

It is important to understand that the past is the past. In order to create a better future, it is essential to focus on the present. Therefore, when an individual engages in self-blame, it is counterproductive to the desired outcome.

As evidenced by the incident referenced in your text, it is evident that to be responsible for one's family and loved ones, one must live in the present.

Self-blame is an ineffective strategy that is, in fact, irresponsible.

Responsibility is the capacity to respond effectively to situations as they arise.

Responsibility is the capacity to respond effectively to a situation. The ability to respond appropriately is a key aspect of taking responsibility.

The capacity to respond to circumstances is limitless, contingent on assuming responsibility.

Taking responsibility is a key factor in advancing your career.

2. The termination of a relationship is often accompanied by a sense of loss and emotional distress.

Following the demise of your pets and several other individuals close to you, you were forced to confront the pain of separation. This experience prompted you to reassess your relationships and consider your desire to maintain connections with others.

In conclusion, the concept of separation is a fundamental aspect of human experience, beginning at birth and continuing throughout life.

Indeed, the concept of separation is learned from the moment of birth. The separation between subject and object occurs at the very outset of life, with the birth process itself marking the first instance of this phenomenon.

As children, we are taught to differentiate between our parents and ourselves. This process continues throughout our education and into adulthood, with each stage of life representing a further step towards independence.

Furthermore, the end of life brings about the ultimate separation. This results in the separation of individuals from their loved ones, relationships, and even themselves.

Our apprehension about separation is, in fact, a rejection of it.

Fear has the potential to influence our lives in two distinct ways.

Context:

The first factor is the capacity to construct barriers.

In order to ensure their personal safety, individuals will often construct various forms of barriers to protect themselves. For instance, if an individual is fearful of being separated from their loved ones, they may erect a metaphorical wall to prevent emotional connections from forming.

The power to tear down walls is also a key factor.

The power to tear down walls is also a key factor.

While walls provide a sense of security, they can also impede our ability to engage with the world. When our connection with the world is disrupted, we may experience feelings of isolation.

When security is sufficient, some individuals will proactively dismantle existing barriers. By eliminating these obstructions, they gain expanded opportunities, a broader perspective, and enhanced connections with others, leading to a more expansive range of interactions and pursuits.

The two forces in question are in direct opposition to one another. The size of one's living space is determined by the interplay of these two forces.

These two forces are in direct opposition to one another. The size of one's living space is determined by the interplay of these two forces.

An individual with the capacity to dismantle barriers will have a vast network of connections, whereas someone who is adept at establishing boundaries will have a more limited scope of relationships.

A person's world is contingent upon their level of security. In the event that a lack of security exists, it must be addressed. Given the constraints of space, I look forward to further communication with you.

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

I hope the above is helpful to you. Best regards,

Should you wish to continue the conversation, please click on the "Find a Coach" link located in the upper right-hand corner or at the bottom of the page. I will then be able to communicate with you and facilitate your growth on a one-to-one basis.

Should you wish to continue the conversation, you are invited to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. This will enable you to communicate and grow with me one-on-one.

Good day!

As a mindfulness coach, I believe that learning is a valuable process that can enrich our lives.

From your description, I can sense that you are experiencing a range of challenging emotions, including worries, fears, pain, and a sense of being overwhelmed.

It is understandable that you are distressed by the emotional turmoil caused by the gradual departure of the grandparents around you, the illness of your grandfather, and the departure of your pets. I won't go into detail here, but I would like to suggest three points for your consideration:

If I may make a suggestion, perhaps it would be helpful for you to try to understand yourself and comfort yourself a little.

I believe that if you allow yourself to do so, it will help to make your heart feel slightly lighter, which in turn will help you to think about what you might do next.

In your description, you mentioned the process of your pets leaving, including your uncle, your grandmother's passing away, and your grandfather's poor health. This has led you to feel afraid of establishing deep relationships with others because you feel that you cannot bear the pain of parting one day. It is understandable that you feel this way, as facing the departure of loved ones, loved ones' illnesses, poor physical condition, and the departure of pets you love can be sad and painful. It is natural to feel this way and to be reluctant to establish relationships with others again, thinking that without relationships, there will be no harm. It is important to try to understand and comfort yourself. You may find it helpful to "see" that fearful self within you who is full of worries and pain and temporarily unwilling to maintain a relationship with others. This will give you extra mental energy to think about other things, otherwise your mind will always be filled with various negative emotions.

It is also important to allow yourself to try to understand and accept yourself, as this will help to create a path towards change in the current situation. While this may seem contradictory, it is possible to embrace change while also allowing for no change.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to try to view your own state in a more rational way.

It may be helpful to consider that rational thinking can assist in gaining a deeper understanding of oneself and of reality.

To gain a more objective perspective on the situation, it would be helpful to consider the following three points:

First, it might be helpful to remember that we all have our own limitations, and that it's important to do our best with what we have right now.

In your description, you mentioned that you had done everything you could to keep your pet alive and tried every possible way to help it, but it still passed away. You also blamed yourself for this, feeling that you had forced it to suffer so much. At this time, it's important to understand that you have done your best. You are not adding to its suffering, but fighting for its chance to survive. It's just that your abilities are limited.

I believe you are doing your best to do the right thing in the present.

Secondly, it is important to recognise that the natural processes of birth, aging, sickness and death are unavoidable. However, we can try to honour our loved ones by remembering them in our hearts as much as possible.

It might be helpful to remember that the only final "leaving" is when someone is forgotten. This means that you can choose to remember those loved ones in your heart, so that they will always "live" on in your heart.

Third, it might be helpful to remember that people need intimacy because human beings are social animals and need the nourishment of a good relationship.

In your description, you mentioned that you are currently reluctant to form close connections with others, and that you are concerned about the possibility of someday having to say goodbye and experiencing the pain that comes with it. It is important to recognize that everyone needs intimacy and that it is a natural part of life. The fear of parting can be addressed in a variety of ways.

If I might suggest, the status quo can be changed, and you must believe in yourself.

If you consider this situation rationally, it may help to resolve some of the negative emotions you are experiencing.

If I might make one more suggestion, it would be to focus on yourself and consider what you can do to improve your own situation.

When you take the time to think things through, you may also be able to identify a solution. At this point, you focus on yourself and try your best to do a good job.

For instance, if you're not ready to maintain a relationship with someone, it might be helpful to give yourself some time before trying to enter into a relationship again. If you're experiencing fear, you might consider using other methods to replace it. For example, you could use the good times together to resolve the fear, or you could ease it by doing something for the other person.

Perhaps you could consider spending more time with him, just as you did with your grandfather. While helping him relieve his physical and mental pain, you might also find that you are helping yourself to dissolve the fear within, because you are facing this matter head-on.

It might also be helpful to consider that building intimate relationships could provide a way to navigate the challenges of aging. When we are alone, we may feel a sense of fear or apprehension about the passage of time. However, when we have the support of a partner or a larger family, this fear may dissipate to some extent.

You might also consider ways to improve your own situation. For example, you could read some relevant books, which might help you to feel stronger and more able to face your fears.

When you take action, you may find that the various negative emotions in your heart dissipate naturally and slowly. In some cases, taking action can be an effective way to address these emotions.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. If you would like to communicate further, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" at the bottom, and I would be happy to communicate with you one-on-one.

Hello!

You've had a rough two years. You devoted yourself to the puppy for over two months. Then your uncle and grandmother died. Now your grandfather is sick. It's a lot to handle. Hugs!

You know what? Reading your question made me feel better. I thought of a kind young woman. You should be a female friend!

I thought you might be a young girl because I told you before that your sisters were together.

You're kind. You didn't give up on the sick dog like your sisters did. You took it to the hospital and tried different treatments. You stayed up late to take care of it. Dogs have spirits. It was lucky for the dog to be taken care of by you for more than two months. You extended its life. In heaven, it is grateful to you. You met someone who takes good care of it.

We know that people often say it's better to die young than live a long life. But we also know that nature has its own laws. Birth, aging, illness, and death are all common occurrences that cannot be stopped. Despite our best efforts, we cannot defy nature.

We have to accept that things change. The puppy's departure was not something you wanted, nor did it want to leave. We didn't want to let it go either, but we were all powerless. There was nothing we could do. So after we did our best, we accepted reality.

This is what happened.

You took good care of the sick dog. You are sentimental and loyal. You have experienced three tragedies: your uncle's death, your grandmother's departure, and now your grandfather's illness and dialysis treatments.

But as they say, "Bad things happen in threes." Now Grandpa is sick and on dialysis. You have to watch him get worse. Thinking about how long Grandpa has left has made you very sad.

I feel for you. You're facing a lot right now. You're still grieving, and now a new child is coming. I hug you!

Grandpa's been sick for over a month. He's on dialysis now. When it first happened, we were shocked. Can we take a little time to grieve?

A short time.

If you want to be alone, that's fine. Just let your sadness flow by your side in peace.

You were able to calm down and let your emotions flow, which helped you think about coming here to ask a question. This shows you're becoming more self-aware. In psychology, self-awareness is the first step to healing.

You've started healing. Next, try this:

It's been two years since the puppy passed away. You did your best for it. If you're still sad, say goodbye. Write a short article or anything. Just say goodbye.

Your uncle and grandmother both died. They were sick, and there was nothing you could do. You had to accept it. You suggested your grandmother go for a check-up, and you took her there. After the diagnosis, you informed the family. This shows how filial you are. You must have done a lot for your grandmother and uncle. You must have done everything you should have done. If we have done what we should have done, we have done right by our loved ones and ourselves. We have also said a proper goodbye. You can try the empty chair technique on them. Say everything you want to say from the bottom of your heart.

Grandpa is sick and needs care. You suggested he get a check-up, which shows you're sensitive. You've also taken care of the elderly and your own relatives.

I think you should take care of Grandpa. Do your best when he needs care the most. Is that a good idea? You have to go through this step by step. If we love Grandpa, we will be able to face his death with a clear conscience.

I know it's hard for you right now. You don't want to feel that pain again. What I said is selfish. In the future, try to understand that we must grow as people. We can grow stronger and more resilient in the midst of pain.

You know you'll have to face this pain again. Nobody wants to feel this way! But we're human, and this is what we have to do to grow up. If we don't, our loved ones will have to do it for us.

Isolating yourself won't make the pain go away. Your family needs you. They need your support!

As for your solution, letting me die first, that goes against nature. We grew up under our elders' care. They raised us, we brought them joy, they raised us, we will accompany them as they grow old. Despite the pain, we will still accompany them, and make them feel that life is not so painful because of us. We must face this with strength.

You believe we younger generations must not add to our elders' suffering. We must be strong in pain and grow through it.

You who are allowed to take a break, I hope it's short. You should know everyone needs your company, care, and attention.

I love you!

Good day, question asker.

After reviewing your inquiry, I empathize with your situation. Allow me to extend a gesture of support and understanding.

The issue you are currently facing is:

In the face of the death of their pets, their uncles, their grandmothers, and the sudden illness of their grandfathers, they experience significant distress and are unable to cope with the pain. They feel that if they are unable to maintain a relationship with others, it is pointless to try, and they feel that there is little they can do. They consider suicide.

A straightforward examination of the issue at hand.

The death of a loved one will cause us pain. There are fewer and fewer people in this world who care about and worry about us, and fewer and fewer people who are willing to help us weather the storms of life. This can result in a lack of value and meaning in our lives, as well as feelings of isolation and fear.

2. Life begins with the cry of a baby, which is to say, facing nothingness, which is to say, gradually approaching death. However, there is a positive aspect to this: as long as we exist, even if only for a moment, we can define our lives.

The key takeaway from the question is the recognition that everyone in our lives will eventually leave us, without exception. It is precisely because of their departure that we realize the importance of these relationships. For example, the questioner's little dog, which has been treated as a family member, and his grandparents.

4. Humans are social animals. We are accustomed to relying on our loved ones, and when we suddenly lose them, we develop a psychological and emotional barrier, which can be described as a kind of self-psychological defense. We become slower to respond to everything that happens around us, and our minds are focused on ourselves, often to the point of exhaustion.

5. It is possible that each of us has a different understanding of death. When we see a loved one suffering from a painful illness, we perceive life as a form of suffering. Similarly, witnessing the pain of a loved one is also a form of suffering. However, when the loved one passes away, we experience a sense of relief.

The following analysis and solutions are provided for your consideration:

(1) Accept yourself and the fact of your mortality unconditionally and calmly. This is the end of life, and the only thing we can do is cherish and remember the happy times we spent with our loved ones.

(2) Continue to embrace the love of your grandparents. They would not want you to be unhappy or depressed. Regardless of the outcome, focus on cherishing the positive memories with your remaining relatives and concentrate on the present.

(3) The departed loved ones will hope that you will live a better life, and they do not want you to be sad, helpless, or depressed.

(4) It is important to remember that departed loved ones will not return. They have simply taken a journey with no set return date. The best course of action is to gather our thoughts, calm our emotions, and move forward with our days.

(5) It is important to recognize that the processes of birth, aging, sickness, and death are inherent to the natural order of life. While these realities are unavoidable, it is possible to maintain a sense of purpose and direction by focusing on the present and taking action in the moment.

I hope this information is useful to you. I wish you a speedy resolution to your difficulties and a bright future ahead.

Your current state of not wanting to maintain an emotional relationship with others is totally normal for you, given your experiences.

It doesn't matter if it's with people or things. As long as we have invested time, energy, and emotion, when we finally suffer a loss or separation, it is very difficult and painful. But that's okay! We can get through it.

And there's more! You've been experiencing these experiences continuously over the past two years. The sadness and pain are repeated and doubled over and over again, becoming unbearable.

And when we lose someone or something that is important to us forever, we will suddenly remember them from time to time, and every time we do, it is as if we are experiencing the separation all over again.

That's why some people are afraid of remembering these things. But here's the good news! In real life, someone's action, a sentence, a song, a scene, will inevitably make us think of the person, and the situation will once again cause us to feel down. We are afraid of meeting people, of socializing, of getting emotionally involved with others, and always want to be left alone. But here's the even better news! We can overcome these fears and become the best version of ourselves.

This is totally normal for us humans! But it's also important to remember that we're more than just our emotions. We need to give ourselves some time and space to breathe, to return to a normal state of social interaction and closeness with nature.

As for the future, the possibilities are endless! You might fall for someone you like, you might invest your emotions, or you might want to make friends with someone you like when you meet them. Whatever happens, just leave these things to be considered later. Don't use your current state of mind to think about future matters.

This is why it's so important to stay positive! When we're pessimistic, it increases unnecessary suffering.

Your mind may seem quiet when you are alone, but it's actually brimming with possibilities! The more you are in a state of sadness, grief, worry, or fear, the more you will think about it, and the more likely you are to think about the worst. But don't worry! If you stay in this state for a long time, you will become depressed and anxious. So, get out there and start thinking about the best possible outcome!

The good news is that the more we feel like this, the more we need the strength of our support system, which often comes from our family, our friends, and our own inner vision and longing for the good things in life.

So, go ahead and grieve, feel sad, and feel helpless. It's all part of the human experience, from birth to death.

At the same time, remind yourself that you've had a bad day. Go out for a walk, enjoy the breeze, take a stroll, daydream, and bask in the sun!

And the best part is, it can make you feel a little better!

You can also talk to family and friends and let them know that there's absolutely no pressure to say anything comforting. You just want to talk, and it's so good to have someone to listen!

At this time, having someone listen and be there is the best medicine!

I'm Bo, sir!

Hello!

After reading your words, I feel your deep sense of powerlessness and fear, and I feel indignant at the high frequency of harm you have endured. But I also feel inspired! You have endured so much, and yet you still have the courage to keep going. I admire your strength!

Why is so much loss piling up on me? Why is there death in the world?

Why did death take those I love so intensively within two years?

Your reaction shows just how much you loved, gave your all, and cared for those who have passed away.

Because only those who have loved and cherished will know the incredible pain of loss.

So, I want to say that suffering is to be expected and fear is normal—and you can conquer both!

But if we let this fear take over our minds and bodies, it will sap our courage, trap us in the past, and prevent us from facing the present and moving forward into the future. So let's not let that happen! Instead, let's choose to face the present and move forward into the future with courage and excitement!

I'm thrilled to share the following suggestions with you!

One, look at the problem from a different perspective. See the care and warmth you brought to the puppy, and the care and concern you showed your family. You've got this! Jumping out of the quagmire of self-blame, solemn mourning, and self-comfort will all bring you energy.

The puppy has left, but it probably had the best time of its life when you took good care of it!

When it was suffering from illness, when no one else wanted to take responsibility for it, you were there for it! You reached out your hands to it, stayed up worrying about it in the early hours of the morning, and went around looking for a cure for it. You were its owner and you did everything you could to help it get better!

Your loved ones have left, but for them, when they were alive, you were one of the people who keenly noticed their illnesses, reminded them to go to the hospital, and deeply worried about them in your heart. And you did your best! You brought them happiness. When they fought against death but lost, they left with your deep concern for them, so they did not lose.

So you did your best, and it was absolutely amazing! You brought them so much happiness.

When they fought against death but lost, they left with your deep concern for them, so they did not lose.

And the great news is that the death of a loved one is not your fault!

To be more realistic, there were long-standing reasons for the departure of the puppy, uncle, grandmother, and grandfather.

On a larger scale, the coming and going of life is all predetermined by fate. The great thing is, we don't have to control the length of our lives. We just need to enjoy them while they last!

So, there's absolutely no need to blame yourself!

It takes time to come to terms with grief. Give yourself some time, don't be in a hurry. Allow yourself to grieve for a while. This is a dignified way to mourn and show respect for the deceased. You've got this!

But remember, no matter what happens, we are here with you to face it together! You are not alone!

2. Look for a substitute that represents the person you've lost. This is your chance to bring them back in a different form!

I'd like to share an incredible story from ancient times. The Ming Dynasty essayist Gui Youguang is a fascinating figure. He experienced immense loss at a young age, losing his mother, wife, and son.

How did he conquer these pains?

In "An Account of the Xiangji Xuan," he misses his wife who has been dead for more than ten years. But here's the amazing thing: perhaps his words will give us some inspiration! He says, "In the courtyard there is a loquat tree, which my wife planted with her own hands the year she died."

There's a loquat tree in the courtyard! My wife planted it with her own hands the year she passed away, and now it's flourished like a big umbrella!

For Gui Youguang, time is passing, and what is lost will never return. But the tree that his wife planted with her own hands has always been by his side, growing new shoots, covering itself in greenery, blossoming, and bearing fruit, just as it has done for more than ten years!

Gradually, he came to terms with the fact that his wife had left him. The pain in his heart no longer hurt him, and it no longer woke him up in the middle of the night with a stab of pain. Instead, it transformed into a longer, deeper, and more profound longing.

So, go on, find a substitute that represents the person you have lost! That way, your loved one who has passed can be by your side in a different form. Even if it can't speak, it will give you comfort and accompany you through this darkest time.

And remember, you are braver than you think! Face it bravely and keep on loving. You deserve more beauty and warmth!

Best regards! I'm so excited to see you soon!

From how the questioner takes such good care of the puppy, it's clear that they're a very affectionate person! This is true for the puppy, not to mention for people.

Not long after the puppy died, my uncle passed away. Then, just a few days later, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and passed away a few months later. This series of intense losses probably left the questioner with only the ability to cope – to hold on and deal with it – and no strength to "fight back" – to "mourn adequately" and release and soothe their emotions.

Recently, Grandpa has been feeling unwell and has been diagnosed with uremia. It's the same situation as with Grandma, so you'll probably find yourself thinking about her a lot.

"I've locked myself in my room and don't want to see anyone. I'm scared that one day we'll have to say goodbye." Maybe you thought that if you locked yourself in your room and didn't take care of your grandfather, he wouldn't die as quickly as your grandmother did.

At the time, you were by yourself in the hospital taking care of your grandmother. Maybe you even thought that your grandmother's quick passing was related to you. Just as you took such good care of the puppy at first, and then it eventually left you, too.

"I can't stand this pain, and it's going to keep repeating itself." You took good care of the puppy and your grandmother to make them feel better, but they've both left you. These repeated events haven't brought you the good rewards you expected, and they've actually had the opposite effect. This makes you feel, or perhaps you feel this way yourself, that your goodness towards them isn't good, but a kind of curse.

Given your kind and sentimental nature, it might be more beneficial for you to simply let go of relationships and allow yourself to move on, rather than trying to maintain them.

How old is the person who asked this question? Despite facing so many losses and without the support of your family, you've managed to stay strong and care for them. This shows that your love for them is genuine, not a burden.

As the saying goes, "Man proposes, God disposes." It's important to recognize and accept the limitations of our abilities as humans.

I really do think I can help you with this, and I hope you find my reply useful. Best wishes!

Good day, question asker. I am honored to have the opportunity to address your inquiry.

First, offer the questioner a reassuring gesture to convey support and hope that the questioner can move past this challenging emotional phase. It is important to note that the death of a loved one is not a result of the questioner's actions, and therefore, self-blame is not a constructive approach. Prioritizing self-care and supporting the loved ones around you are essential steps in navigating this difficult period.

The continuous loss of loved ones has caused trauma to the subject, and in severe cases, even depression. The subject's reluctance to face the emotional separation is a clear indication that he is unable to cope with the situation. Due to his physical condition, the subject's grandfather also developed uremia. The subject's fear of losing more family members is evident in his avoidance behavior, manifested as locking himself in his room and even contemplating suicide as a means of avoiding the pain of separation.

The closer an individual is to another, the more profound and robust the emotional bond that is formed between them. This bond is characterised by the exchange of love, emotional dependence and attachment, and the intertwining and integration of each other's lives. It can be likened to a tree growing in one's heart, intertwined and connected by its roots.

The pain of losing a loved one is akin to the sudden uprooting of a tree, resulting in the tearing away of flesh and blood.

The individual in question is currently experiencing a period of intense grief following the death of a loved one. This can result in a lack of appreciation for the positive aspects of life and a sense of emptiness. The bond of love can have a significant impact on one's current life, leading to feelings of depression, unhappiness, guilt, and regret. It is not uncommon for individuals in this situation to use their own pain as a means of mourning the deceased and to contemplate leaving this world together with their loved ones.

The loss of a loved one is a significant event that can have a profound impact on an individual's emotional and psychological well-being. Those who have experienced such a loss often undergo a series of psychological reactions, which can be broadly classified into five stages.

The initial stage is characterised by denial and isolation.

It is not uncommon for individuals to initially be unable to accept the reality of a loved one's passing. This can result in a range of stress reactions.

Emotionally, the following symptoms may be experienced: sadness, anxiety, loneliness, helplessness, shock, guilt, and self-blame. Physically, the following symptoms may be experienced: fatigue, sighing, insomnia, restlessness, crying, appetite disorders, chest tightness, and even suffocation. Cognitively, the following symptoms may be experienced: thoughts of disbelief, confusion, and being immersed in thoughts of the deceased.

In light of these physical and mental reactions, many individuals will develop defense mechanisms to avoid and deny reality. For instance, some may avoid situations that trigger memories, while others remain reluctant to accept the truth even after witnessing the departure of their loved ones.

The second stage is characterised by anger.

The initial shock and denial that accompany this stage begin to dissipate, and the reality of the situation and its associated pain resurface. This can be a challenging period for many, as it requires a level of emotional resilience that may not yet be in place. Strong emotions can manifest as anger, and it is not uncommon to question the circumstances surrounding the loss of a loved one.

Stage 3: Bargaining

It is not uncommon for individuals to attribute the death of a loved one to their own actions or inactions. This can lead to a cycle of self-doubt and self-blame, making it challenging for them to move forward.

Stage 4: Depression

At this stage, it is clear that our actions cannot alter the circumstances, and the pain will be intensified. There is no longer any rationale for avoidance. We will become highly vulnerable, depressed, and out of control, and we will lose hope and vision for the future.

This is the most challenging stage of the five stages, and in severe cases, individuals may even consider suicide. It is therefore understandable that the questioner would experience suicidal thoughts, anxiety, and depression. The most important thing is to communicate these feelings to your living relatives and seek support.

If the issue remains unresolved, it is advisable to seek the assistance of a qualified counselor for psychological intervention.

Stage 5: Accepting the truth – expressing grief – relief

It is important to accept that our loved ones have passed away and to express our grief through appropriate means. With time, our grief will gradually subside, allowing us to resume our lives.

Grief is a natural response to the loss of a loved one. It is important to remember that everyone has the ability to heal themselves. While loss is painful, grief is the channel through which we grieve.

When individuals are able to acknowledge and accept their painful emotions, and allow themselves to grieve fully, they are often able to move through this process successfully.

The length of the grieving period varies from person to person. In general, most people's grieving periods are less than six months. Some individuals may continue to grieve for an extended period and experience difficulty moving on.

If the situation persists for more than six months, it is advisable to seek professional assistance, including grief counseling if necessary.

For those who have lost a loved one, the first step is to accept the emotions that accompany grief, including fear and guilt. It is important to recognize that these feelings are normal and to avoid trying to fight them or make assumptions in order to avoid them. It is beneficial to express the full range of emotions that accompany grief, including self-blame and anger. Seeking support from family and friends is also helpful. Expressing needs to these individuals and allowing them to share the grief together can provide a sense of comfort and support. The love and support from family and partners can also be a source of warmth and healing during this time.

If feasible, the questioner should seek the assistance of a professional counselor. The counselor will assist the questioner in strengthening their mental resilience, adjusting their perception, stabilizing their emotions, and expressing this overwhelming emotion in a constructive manner. This process will help minimize the impact of trauma and real-life challenges on the questioner's overall well-being. As these issues are addressed one by one, the questioner will gradually progress out of this phase, rebuild their confidence, and resume a normal lifestyle.

I hope this response is helpful to the questioner.

Hello, dear question asker!

First, I'll give you a hug. I know it can be tough when you lose someone you love, whether it's a pet or a family member. It's natural to feel like you don't want to have emotional ties to other people after they've left you. It can be too painful to keep reaching out, so you simply lock yourself in your house and cut off all ties with friends and family. It's a way of protecting yourself from feeling different kinds of grief and helplessness.

It's true, we'll all eventually leave this cozy yet strange world, just like our loved ones. Someone we once loved is probably thinking the same thing you are right now.

Maybe your grandmother and uncle have told you about their dreams, and even your grandfather, who is currently undergoing dialysis, also has his own dreams that he hasn't been able to fulfill. Instead of closing yourself off and fighting with yourself, why not bring their dreams into reality and go with them on their journey to completion? Not only will you fulfill their wishes, but you'll also grow as a person in the process of accomplishing them, letting go of your worries about the length of your life and looking forward to the journey of life.

Your little pet left this world with a heart full of gratitude. It thanks you and your mother for your care, not abandonment, and hopes that you can live happily. I know Grandmother is most worried about Grandfather, afraid that he will not be taken care of. I hope you can visit him more often, sweetheart. Uncle may have many wishes, but the greatest wish should be that all living relatives can be happy and content.

Life is a journey that we all take together. It's irreversible, and there's no going back. So, it's important to cherish every moment and not get too sentimental.

Hello, host. I hope my answer helps.

I've experienced many losses too. I hope you can feel some support and warmth. I can feel that you feel very guilty and blame yourself for their departure. It's good to express your grief and feelings. You can learn to face this subject of death.

I suggest reading Grief Healing by Liu Xinxian. It explains how to heal from grief. Here are some tips for you:

Say goodbye to your loved one.

Write to them. Express your emotions. Don't worry about handwriting. Write as much as you like. At the end, say thank you and goodbye.

Expressing your emotions helps you feel better. You'll stop being caught up in them and can sort out your feelings.

2. How to deal with guilt

I can tell you feel guilty about them leaving. Guilt is a special kind of love.

Guilt is a way of remembering the dead. Sometimes, people feel that guilt keeps them close to the dead, and letting go of guilt seems to mean letting go of love. So, they try to keep loving their dead loved ones.

Guilt is a longing to feel in control. The "if only..." and "what if..." behind the guilt is a search for control, even though it is not true or reasonable. Think about it: is your guilt justified? Do you really have the control you desire?

You can also talk to family and friends. Talking about your guilt and listening to their opinions can help you decide if your guilt is justified.

We must accept that accidents and surprises cannot be predicted or controlled. It has nothing to do with what you did or did not do. If you feel guilty, remember that you cannot predict the future. Many other factors are at play.

For example, their own actions and thoughts.

How can I stay connected to my loved one who has passed away?

Dealing with the connection between the living and the deceased and moving the deceased into our hearts is an important part of healing.

They can gain positive inspiration from the deceased in life, such as loving, cherishing, and being kind.

2. When thinking of the deceased, they can feel happy too.

3. When facing difficulties, they can use the deceased to encourage themselves, cheer up, and be courageous.

4. They can accept that the deceased is gone and adapt to the new life with a positive attitude.

5. Do what the deceased wanted to do.

6. Mourn the deceased in ways that make you feel comfortable.

7. Do charity work in the deceased's name.

8. Stay in touch with the deceased. Talk to them, write to them, or think about them.

9. Handle the deceased's belongings properly, such as making photo albums. We should focus on inner connections, not external forms or objects. An inner connection is the most powerful.

Death can take away life, but it cannot take away our love for our loved ones. We should cherish this love and gain strength to cope with suffering from it.

Death makes us appreciate life and makes us want to enjoy it while we're alive. Spend some time with your grandfather. See what he needs from you. He also needs your strength and love. With your love and support, his health will improve. Take care of yourself too. Good luck!

After reading your description, I would like to respectfully suggest that perhaps you might like to consider why you keep encountering these separations. It might be a good idea to ask God to open your eyes and give that person a warm embrace.

It can be difficult to watch. If you feel the need to cry, it is okay to do so. There is no shame in crying; it is a natural response to a difficult situation.

My father passed away unexpectedly when I was 23 years old. I had two younger brothers who were still in school. The unexpected departure of the mainstay of the family not only made our already impoverished family even worse off, but also left me suddenly without a direction. I remember once, while cooking in the kitchen, after I had put the oil in the pan, I went to the living room and sat there in a daze, my mind a blank, almost setting the kitchen on fire!

At that moment, I suddenly woke up and realized that I couldn't continue to indulge like this. I had to find a way to deal with the current situation. So, I would like to share my understanding of death with you in the hope that it might be of some use to you.

I wonder if you have had similar experiences. I have had dreams about my loved ones and the dog after experiencing the loss of a loved one.

In our hometown, there is a custom of grave sweeping and worship. Every time it's a holiday, such as Qingming, his birthday, etc., I will dream of my father a few days in advance. While I don't remember what he said, I do believe it was a reminder for us to go see him. It seems that in the end, he can see our lives.

A few years later, I became pregnant with my second child. On another Qingming Festival, I went to my father's grave and told him that I would no longer be able to visit as often as I would have liked because I was expecting a new addition to our family. I also wrote a letter and burned it for him, sharing with him all the words in my heart, in the hope that he would understand. At that moment, I felt so clear in my heart.

It has been 18 years since then, and I haven't had any dreams about him recently. I would like to suggest that you might like to try talking about it in the same way, as it could be helpful.

In the dark, he can also hear our conversations and see our lives, but he no longer disturbs us. It could be said that every remembrance is a thought and a remembrance of our loved ones, and because of this, there is the meaning of Qingming Festival.

While life is inevitably finite, the challenges we face can often feel interminable. It is my hope that you will find solace in the belief that, with resilience and determination, the light of hope will always shine through.

Perhaps you might consider giving it a try? I truly believe you have the potential to overcome your current challenges and find a new direction.

I encourage you to give it a try.

Hello, my name is Xiang Er, and I'm here for you.

I really understand how you're feeling. It's so hard when family members and pets are taken away from us one by one because of illness. I can imagine how difficult, helpless, and reluctant you must feel.

I'm so sorry to hear that your grandfather is ill and you're feeling sad. It must be so hard for you, especially with another family member unwell and the fear of separation. I'm here for you, and I want you to know that I'm sending you a warm hug.

I can totally relate to your pain because I've been there. The first time I faced separation was when I was 18. My cousin, who was four years younger than me, died of lung cancer after two years of treatment. It was the first time I truly felt that death was so close to me.

Then came my wonderful grandmother, my sweet maternal grandmother, my adoring maternal grandfather, my adorable maternal uncles, and then one colleague after another.

We all know that every separation is indescribably painful. We feel sad because we're sentimental people, we feel sad because the other person is someone we consider important, and we feel sad because the other person has left us with fond memories. But you know what? You also know that death is a stage that every human being must pass through. It's a natural law that we cannot prevent it from happening, cannot put it off, and even less should we arrange it in advance.

Enjoyment of the ears Some tips

Since we can't escape it, why not try to accept its existence?

It's totally normal to feel down sometimes. We all have those days where we can't shake off negative thoughts. But there are ways to combat them! Why not try abdominal breathing when you're feeling bad to expel the turbid air in your body? Simply put, breathe in through the nose for 3-5 seconds and then exhale through the mouth. This will slowly ease your negative emotions.

It's natural to want to hide in your room when you're feeling down. But, hiding won't make you feel any better. It's just an act of escaping from the problem. You have built up a lot of relationships in your past life, with your parents, relatives, and friends.

These are all real emotions, my friend. By avoiding them, you might be transferring the pain to others, because they will worry about you.

It's so important to find a trusted family member or friend you can pour your heart out to.

Death doesn't end a relationship, but forgetting does. So let's make the most of every moment we have with the people around us, and create beautiful memories that will last forever!

It's so important to live each day with no regrets. If you've done your best, you'll have no regrets. Just think of how you tried so hard to cure the puppy! He must have been so grateful for your efforts, and you helped him to see daylight for two more months.

Hello, question asker.

After reading your question, I can sense your pain and feel for you. It seems that a series of losses in your life have left you feeling somewhat helpless, fearful, and in pain.

From the departure of your pet to the death of your grandparents, you may have had some experience with the concept of "anxiety-contemplating-suicide-constantly-wanting-to-harm-myself-oscillating-between-life-and-death-9593.html" target="_blank">life and death." When faced with such powerful forces, we as individuals may feel somewhat powerless. Now that Grandpa is not feeling well and is on dialysis, that sense of powerlessness has returned, which is why you are so affected and shocked.

I believe that life and death are the most significant aspects of our lives, while everything else is relatively minor.

I sense that you may still be coming to terms with the death of your loved one, and that the fact that such events have occurred in your life so soon one after the other may have caused you some anxiety. Anxiety is the brain's natural response to frightening situations, and death naturally triggers our fear. Here are some ways to reduce this anxiety for your reference:

1. Perhaps it would be helpful to consider your own way of thinking. By examining the issues in our perception, we may be able to find ways to alleviate the catastrophic thoughts that arise in our minds. For example, when worrying about the health of a loved one and having catastrophic thoughts, we could ask ourselves, "Is this true?"

In the event of a worst-case scenario, how should we respond emotionally?

If this emotion persists, it would be helpful to consider whether it will have an impact on the person involved and whether it will be beneficial. It would also be beneficial to consider what the most realistic situation might be.

If there's anything else we can do to make the situation a little better, please let us know.

2. Consider expressing yourself in writing. There is no need to worry about the wording; simply write down what you want to express. This can be an effective way to release emotions and feelings, as well as a means of sorting yourself out, reconstructing your cognition, and engaging in a process of self-healing.

3. Mindfulness meditation: It may help to relieve anxiety and immerse yourself in the present. Since the challenging situations you're facing haven't yet materialized, you have the opportunity to adapt and support others more effectively.

4. Consider ways to improve your ability to cope with setbacks. You may find it helpful to actively seek out a new, healthy lifestyle. It is important to remember that this does not mean that you have given up on the people you love.

5. If you are unable to get out of this state for a long time, you may wish to consider seeking professional help, such as from a psychotherapist or psychiatrist.

Buddhism has a unique perspective on death, which they refer to as "going to life." I believe this concept holds a great deal of significance and can be deeply felt.

I came across a prayer in a book that I found particularly moving.

If it is your will, God, please give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Please also give me the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

It might be helpful to try to live each day to the fullest, to enjoy every moment you are given, and to consider hardship as a potential path to peace.

I hope my words will be of some help to you. Wishing you well!

Hello! I just wanted to give you a warm hug from afar. I know it's tough when a pet or family member passes away. It's a really difficult time for you. It's natural to feel a range of intense emotions, including physical, mental, and emotional pain. It's also normal to experience temporary PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). It's like your body and mind are reacting to the loss in ways that help you cope. You might feel like you're defending and protecting yourself when you feel denial, self-blame, guilt, anger, or depression. It's okay to feel these things.

So, give yourself permission to feel all your feelings, even the ones you might think are inappropriate for the situation. It's totally normal to feel this way. You're grieving the loss of something you loved and you're worried it might happen again. You're scared of getting too close to people and things because you're afraid of losing them. You feel like you have no control over what's happening. You've tried your best to fight for them, but you haven't been able to save their lives. You've also been unable to stop the pain you've caused them in their final moments. It's okay to feel this way. You're allowed to feel whatever you're feeling.

I think so!

It's important to remember that even though your efforts didn't bring them back, everything you did out of love is something they can fully feel. You did everything you could, so don't be too hard on yourself. You're the one who needs to be treated gently in the moment. You have feelings, so you're a living being with emotions. They left you feeling full of love, so they must want you to live well and treat yourself well, right?

At the same time, you must also understand that death is another kind of rebirth. That is, the spirit of the deceased, their good character traits, and the beautiful, happy experiences they brought you while they were with you will all become the strength and nourishment for you to live a better life, right? They have only left you physically, but their spirits will live on forever in your life. What do you think?

It's so important to try to use words to record your current thoughts, feelings, and realizations. And of course, talking about your emotions with your closest family and friends is a great way to work through things. When you can express and listen to your trauma, you can start to accept it without denial, rejection, or anger. Then you can face it in a more positive way and start to return to your life.

Hi, I'm Lily, the little ear of the Q&A Museum. The world and I love you!

Hello, topic starter. I can see you're feeling confused right now, and I'm here to help. Hugs to you!

I'm here for you, and I'm sending you another warm hug.

We all have to face the facts: birth, aging, sickness, and death are part of life.

We're all going to die one day, so it's important to live each day to the fullest!

I can see you're feeling scared right now, sweetie. It's totally understandable. You've experienced the deaths of your grandparents and puppy within a short period of time.

It's totally normal to feel all these emotions right now. It's okay to feel them, and it's okay to express them.

I really think you should get some help from a professional counselor. They can help you say a proper goodbye to your puppy, uncle, and grandmother.

You can also take some time to pray for your puppy in silence.

As for your grandparents, you can write them an official farewell letter. There's no limit to the number of words or length.

Another thing you can try is the "empty chair technique."

I've heard that the "empty chair technique" can be really helpful. All you have to do is sit in a chair and imagine that your grandparents are sitting in the other empty chair. Then you can say everything you want to tell them.

I'm not sure about the exact details of the "empty chair technique" mentioned above, but I really think you should speak to a professional counselor.

Absolutely! We all have to face death at some point, so it's really important to live in the moment and enjoy the time we have with our loved ones.

I truly believe that your beloved uncle and grandmother would want you to live your life to the fullest, not dwelling on the sadness of losing them.

I know exactly how you feel. When my mom passed away, I was just as sad and upset as you are, and I couldn't get out of it.

Later on, some of my mom's dear friends and classmates from Xiamen University told me something really special. They said that even though my mom is no longer with me in the physical world, her spirit is always with me, watching over and protecting me.

I really hope it helps if you think about it differently.

I really hope the problem you're facing gets resolved soon.

I'm sorry, I can't think of anything more to say.

I really hope my answer will be helpful and inspiring to you. I'm the answerer who studies hard every day, so I'm happy to help in any way I can!

My dear friend, I love you so much! Please take care of yourself.

Births and relationships-with-others-9943.html" target="_blank">deaths are happening more and more often. Many lives come and go, which makes people feel that everything in the world is temporary and uncomfortable.

As life and death are constantly being played out in a cycle, when we have used up our anger and our life force, then what's left may be to say goodbye properly. After experiencing the death of a loved one, you may have some mourning trauma.

This can make you blame yourself for others' deaths. Even though death is an objective law, you will still feel unpleasant and unable to stop mourning.

If you feel like you don't want to keep a relationship, it may mean that the pain is too much. You wanted to take care of the dog, but it died.

All your hard work seems wasted. Your grandmother, grandfather, and many illnesses cannot be solved quickly. You are afraid of separation because death can separate us from loved ones and things we cherish.

However, we cannot avoid experiencing life because of death. These are all processes we need to experience. As a life coach, I recommend reading books about life and death. Let yourself accept the natural law of birth, aging, sickness, and death. Good luck.

ZQ?

Hello!

I'm sending you a warm hug to show I'm thinking of you.

You can feel your respect and attachment to life, your kindness and compassion, as well as the deep pain of loss.

I don't want to go over the basics of accepting the impermanence of life, but I think you understand these principles. However, when you experience repeated deaths and separations, it's natural to feel a lot of pain. We can't ignore the impact of these things.

Time and time again, you've chosen to withdraw in the face of pain. Since you're destined to lose and repeat the pain of loss, you might as well not maintain a relationship with anyone. You try to make yourself feel safe by avoiding things, but at the same time, this way of dealing with things is very repressive of your emotions. Is this not a habitual defense mechanism you use to deal with problems?

Humans are social animals, and forming connections with others and allowing an emotional flow is also the basis of human existence. So, from a rational standpoint, it may not be the best approach for you to deal with your inner fears and pain by avoiding and repressing them. Is there a better way?

From what I can see, you've invested a lot of emotion and effort into trying to save this sick puppy, but in the end, it didn't work. You feel like you forced him to suffer, but your intention was just to try to prolong his life and save him. However, after this wish wasn't fulfilled, you again felt feelings of self-blame and guilt.

On top of that, after the death of your loved ones, bad things have been happening to you one after the other. You might be subconsciously linking these things together and feeling like it's your fault.

It's normal to feel sad and painful emotions when you're going through this. It's not your fault, and you don't have to blame yourself or feel guilty about it. You just need to accept your emotions and let go of the self-blame and self-accusation.

You can also look into where this pattern of self-blame and guilt comes from. Once you know the root cause, you can make some changes to how you think and feel.

That puppy was sick from the start. When you rescued it, there were two possible outcomes: it could live or it could die. Either way, you didn't do anything wrong.

Losing a loved one to illness is always sad, but it's important to remember that it's never our fault. Accepting your own pain, mourning, and remembering in your heart can help you overcome the emotional hurdles and move forward with this kind of pain.

For now, it's fine to take some time for yourself to heal. I hope you'll be ready to come out of your shell soon. There are lots of ways to do this, like asking questions on this platform, talking to others, or seeking help from professionals. These actions can help you turn your pain into growth and enrich your life.

I hope Hongyu's reply helps you out. Thanks for your question!

Hello. From reading the question description, I can sense how sad and upset you are right now. Having to face the loss of your beloved dog and your loved ones one after the other, and being in a constant state of grief and sadness, it can really take a toll on people, leading to feelings of depression and helplessness.

You are also kind and filial. You never abandon your dog and take full responsibility for it. You are also very attentive and caring towards your family, accompanying and taking care of them. You have given your most sincere and warm feelings to everyone around you. It is precisely because you have invested more in your emotions that you are even more sad and upset when facing separation and cannot extricate yourself.

It is often said that when we feel pain, we are growing. It is possible that these experiences have helped you to grow in some way.

Memories are a beautiful thing.

(1) The past is something we cannot change, but it is stored in our memories. When we recall it, it can bring back all the feelings and emotions it brought to you at the time, and you can experience that feeling again. So, every time you recall it, you experience the corresponding emotional feelings.

(2) For instance, when the puppy was unwell for two months, you found the experience extremely challenging. You often had difficulty sleeping in the early morning, and you had to take the puppy to the hospital every day. Despite your best efforts, the puppy eventually passed away. This memory evokes a sense of helplessness and sadness.

(3) For example, after your uncle passed away, you noticed that your grandmother wasn't feeling well. You suggested that she go to the hospital for a check-up, and she was diagnosed with cancer. When you noticed that your grandfather wasn't feeling well either, you suggested that he go for a check-up, and he was diagnosed with uremia. This memory can evoke a range of intense emotions, including feelings of guilt, as if the reason why family members got sick and left was because you suggested that they go for a check-up.

(4) There is more to the memories, for example, when it comes to the puppy, you were more caring and responsible than your sisters. You persevered with the puppy despite its illness, and you explored various forms of treatment, including Chinese medicine and massage. You were able to experience the full range of emotions that came with this process.

(5) It would be reasonable to assume that the time you spent with your grandparents was full of laughter. You were able to carefully notice their physical discomfort and actively take them for medical examinations. It seems likely that you are also now your grandfather's spiritual pillar.

(6) While the result of every occurrence may not align with our expectations, we strive to recall the positive aspects to assist ourselves in moving beyond the despondency.

☀️ Allow yourself to grow through the experience of separation.

It could be said that everyone's life follows a similar path. We are all born and, eventually, we all die. The subject of separation is something that we all have to learn.

(2) In general, when faced with the death of someone close to us, we tend to experience a range of emotions.

It is not uncommon to experience a sense of numbness during the initial stages of grief. When we first receive the news of a loved one's passing, it can be challenging to fully process and accept the reality of the situation. This can lead to a feeling of being frozen in a state of numbness, where we find it difficult to express our emotions. Some individuals may even find it challenging to shed tears.

The second stage is characterised by a longing and searching for the departed individual. At this stage, it is not uncommon to find ourselves in a state of disbelief, hoping against hope that our loved ones have not passed away. We may even find ourselves wishing to bring them back to us.

The third stage is despair. At this stage, we have come to accept the reality of our loved one's passing. We may experience feelings of despair, depression, and indifference towards this outcome, and it is natural to feel this way.

The fourth stage is returning to reality. After going through the above stages, we will gradually resume our lives, regain positive emotions, return to our original habits at a pace that is comfortable for us, and identify new goals.

(3) I understand that this process may be challenging for you, given the recent separations you have experienced. It can be difficult to experience and complete each stage in a timely manner. I encourage you to give yourself the space and time to gradually process your grief in a way that is comfortable for you.

I believe there may be a number of emotions that are currently suppressed in my heart. When you can allow these emotions to flow and be released, you may find that the grieving process can be completed more gradually, allowing you to move forward into a new phase of life.

Every relationship has its beautiful memories, and I believe you can get through this difficult time. I'm here for you, and I know you can get through this. The world and I love you.

Hello. We're sorry you've had to say goodbye so many times. We're here for you.

Here are some tips that I hope will help you.

Use psychology to relieve emotions.

Fate is fair. You must have gained something while losing something. The mind makes up for this. People adapt to society differently. We can make ourselves feel loved and needed to help us move forward.

Believe that love is always returned.

Make peace with yourself.

You did your best. You are wonderful. When the older siblings abandoned the sick puppy and you and your mother gave it a warm home, and when you treated it like a family member, massaged it with Chinese herbs and tried to save it, I believe that no matter what the outcome, it has already felt your love.

He or she likes every minute you spend together and wants to spend more time with you. You are his or her whole world.

Face death.

Hiding from it doesn't mean you can avoid it, and facing it doesn't mean it'll be hard. The loved ones and pets you care about are now with you in a different way. Whenever the wind blows, they're here to visit you.

We are afraid of death, so we avoid it. This makes us feel the meaning and finiteness of life more strongly.

We can learn more from death than anything else. We can only learn how to live by facing death.

If we make a deal with death, we'll remember that time is limited. We'll make the most of our time and learn how to survive.

The world is beautiful and will get better. Everything will be fine. The world and I love you.