light mode dark mode

After the divorce, disconnected from my original family, do I feel like an orphan?

divorce lawsuit mother's blockage family estrangement call avoidance orphan-like feelings
readership8868 favorite89 forward30
After the divorce, disconnected from my original family, do I feel like an orphan? By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024

Two children are involved in a divorce lawsuit, and the mother has blocked and ignored me as a result. My older brother and younger brother also don't answer my calls or reply to my messages. This year, I have no home to return to during the New Year celebrations, watching others' families reunite, I feel like an orphan.

Vitalis Vitalis A total of 7645 people have been helped

Hello! Life is always full of surprises, and I can see that you've encountered some complicated situations. Family conflicts have caused your mother to block you on social media, your brothers and sisters to distance themselves from you, and you have no home to return to during the New Year, so you feel lonely. But don't worry! There's a solution.

This situation can really make people feel lonely and helpless, but there is hope!

I feel your loneliness, alienation, and heartache. But don't lose hope! Family breakdowns lead to alienated relationships, a lack of family support, and an inability to experience family love. Although it is inappropriate to block people on social media, to a certain extent, it can also reflect the mother's inner anxiety. But you can overcome this!

It's okay to feel a little sad when you see other people's families together. But remember, you've already faced the fact that your original family is gone. So, take a deep breath and face it head-on!

I highly recommend that you try to reconnect with your family and communicate with them. Look for opportunities to talk to them honestly and express your feelings.

You can tell your mother your true thoughts through interviews! It's a great way to resolve misunderstandings and get to know each other better.

There's nothing better than communicating with others to relieve inner anxiety! You can also find other social circles, participate in social activities, meet new friends, and broaden your interpersonal relationships. It's a great way to alleviate the sense of loneliness.

My family is by my side, but every New Year's Eve, I have the best time chatting with netizens in a group online and watching the Spring Festival Gala together! It's so interesting how quickly time passes. Everyone has their own independent living space. If your biological or first marriage family isn't bringing you warmth, you should definitely try to form a new family!

One day, you will have your own truly happy family!

Wishing you the very best!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 148
disapprovedisapprove0
Narcissus Narcissus A total of 2710 people have been helped

Hello, I'm Strawberry.

A woman needs unconditional support from her family of origin to be strong and loved. Not all families can provide this, and that is a fact.

Divorce marks the start of a new chapter in your life.

The questioner has two children and is currently facing a divorce lawsuit. Let me be clear: when there are children in a marriage, even if the couple's relationship is not harmonious, more couples will consider the children and go on to live an unhappy life.

The couple must end their marriage. They should get a divorce so that they can start over and find happiness.

Misconceptions have a significant impact.

The questioner did not mention why she chose to get a divorce, but her in-laws, her strong backing, chose to ignore her choice to divorce. Her mother even directly blocked her on social media. Facing a divorce lawsuit that exhausted her both mentally and physically, she was even more saddened by the way her in-laws treated her.

Some families have been brainwashed into thinking that a woman should marry into her husband's family, and that no matter how unhappy she is in the marriage, she should just put up with it. If she decides to divorce, it is seen as a disgrace to her and her family.

She may not want to believe it or admit it, but the fact remains that for many families, a daughter who gets married and leaves home is someone else's mistake. The misconception that a married woman is a guest in her parents' home persists, and she has no basis for continuing to consider her parents' home as her home. As a result, the actions of her family members directly taught the questioner that she has no one to rely on and that she must face everything alone.

She has become an orphan.

There is a reason behind human behavior. A person will not show us unexplained emotions for no reason. The problem is not entirely ours. It may be the other person's own problem.

The truth is clear: the questioner did not mention their family of origin in detail. However, if their family of origin brought the questioner a painful upbringing, then the questioner would not be surprised by the actions of their family. This is simply what their character would naturally do.

However, the questioner is sad and confused when faced with the indifference of his in-laws. This shows that the in-laws usually get along with the questioner quite normally. When he needs support and help from his family, the behavior of his in-laws also makes the questioner feel somewhat puzzled as to why they have suddenly become like this.

The sudden cold treatment of the questioner by his family members is likely due to a misunderstanding. The questioner can immediately find out the truth and see if someone has slandered him, which has caused his family members to be so disappointed with him.

☀️Face-to-face communication: The internet is convenient, but it's not the only way to contact others. If one party chooses not to communicate online, the most primitive method of contact must be used.

The inability to contact one's family online severely hinders the questioner's ability to communicate with them and understand their current situation. If possible, the questioner should find a way to communicate face-to-face, resolve any misunderstandings, and not be discouraged by one rejection. Persistence leads to victory.

Prioritize your problems. In addition to the divorce proceedings, the questioner is currently also troubled by the indifferent behavior of her family of origin. There may be other trivial matters in her life that have accumulated and overwhelmed her emotions and psychology. Excessive pressure and negative emotions can affect the questioner's judgment and decision-making ability.

Prioritize your problems. Solve the most pressing issues first. This will relieve pressure and help you focus on other tasks.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. Best wishes.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 656
disapprovedisapprove0
Octavianne Octavianne A total of 3706 people have been helped

Hello, I'm a heart exploration coach.

I read your problems on the platform. You are going through a divorce and have encountered many problems. You have two children, are in a lawsuit, and your mother has blocked you. Your brother and sister also ignore you. This year, you don't have a home to return to. Watching others reunite with their families, you felt like an orphan. You didn't know what to do.

Divorce is serious. It's a big change. You have kids, but you can't go home or back to your in-laws. It's sad, but what can you do? You don't know why your mother's family treats you this way. It's heartbreaking.

Let me help you sort things out.

1. Accept reality with an open mind.

Reality is cruel, so accept it. Set aside money for emergencies. Have your own home. Don't rely on family. Rely on yourself.

2. Pay attention to your feelings.

If this were in the past, you would feel happy and fulfilled. But now, you're confused. Don't worry about anything else; just focus on your emotions. You feel lonely, which is a natural emotion. Be weak sometimes and accept your emotions.

3. Make the best career plan.

Since you're divorced, just be yourself and live each day to the fullest. You can make a good career plan. When you're alone, you can exercise, read, bake, or go for a walk. Accept your loneliness, but don't dwell on it. Get out of the mood and do things you like. Try to feel fulfilled and motivated. When you act for a goal and live in the present, you won't feel lonely or helpless.

4. Be strong inside.

Since you got divorced, you must have made a good decision. Divorce is hard, but don't just get married because you're lonely. You will be lonely and confused, but at this time, you must strengthen your inner self. Don't get married just because you want to get married. For the rest of your life, live for yourself. Good luck!

I hope this helps. If you need to talk more, you can find me on my personal website. Just click on the Heart Exploration service and send me a message. Love, The world and I

Helpful to meHelpful to me 161
disapprovedisapprove0
Philip Philip A total of 8358 people have been helped

Dear friend, I can sense your loneliness and pain. It must be very difficult for you to face the break-up of your family and the estrangement of your loved ones. Divorce and the conflicts that accompany it are common problems in many families, and many people feel helpless and isolated in similar situations.

It is understandable that you are feeling sad and lost. It is important to remember that you have the right to feel this way, even in the most difficult of times. There are people who are willing to listen to you and support you.

Family systems theory suggests that family members are interdependent and that family dynamics and patterns of interaction may have a significant impact on an individual's emotional state. It's possible that what you are experiencing may be a reflection of a family system that is not functioning optimally.

It is not uncommon for conflict and separation in the family to result in feelings of alienation among its members. This can be a natural defense mechanism or an emotional coping strategy.

In your case, the dissolution of family ties may have prompted a range of profound emotions, including sadness, anger, disappointment, and loneliness. These feelings are understandable responses to a situation that has caused a longing for family and intimacy.

It may be helpful to allow yourself to feel these emotions and to find healthy ways to express and deal with them.

It can be challenging to communicate with family members, but expressing our feelings and needs is an important first step towards resolving problems. You might consider reaching out to your brother and sister to express your feelings and wishes.

It might be helpful to try communicating directly with your mother. Allowing her some time and space to process her emotions could be beneficial.

You mentioned feeling like an orphan, which may be a result of a deep longing for belonging and love. In the book "Family Can Hurt," the author explores how family affects our self-identity and mental health.

He suggests that even in the context of a broken family, individuals have the potential to heal and grow by forming new, healthy relationships.

It would be beneficial to focus on self-care at this time. You may find it helpful to express your feelings through journaling, drawing, or other creative outlets.

It may be helpful to engage in activities that assist in organizing your thoughts and expressing emotions. It is also beneficial to seek out a support system, which could include friends, colleagues, or community resources.

Support can help us feel less isolated and provide emotional comfort. Engaging in physical activity, hobbies, or anything that makes you feel relaxed and happy can also help you relieve stress and improve your mood.

Your value is not defined by your family situation. You have your own strengths and talents, and your life can be full of meaning and happiness.

You are not alone in this fight. There is always a way to improve your situation, even if it may not seem that way right now.

Your feelings and happiness are important. You may find it helpful to take the first step and ask for help, which could improve your situation.

We would like to suggest the book "Family Can Hurt" as a helpful resource.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 183
disapprovedisapprove0
Sophia Sophia A total of 842 people have been helped

Good day, question asker. I am a Heart Detective coach, Gu Daoxi Feng Shou Lu.

As someone who has entered the city, I can very much empathize with the feelings of the questioner. Upon marriage, one may experience a sense of estrangement from their family, difficulty integrating with their in-laws, and a profound sense of alienation. Activities that were previously cherished, such as Chinese New Year and vacations, may now be perceived as irksome. I can very much empathize with the feelings of the questioner.

It is unclear what the original family environment was like for the OP. If the original family itself places a higher value on boys than girls, it is likely that the OP will face significant challenges in the future. The most important consideration for the OP is how to navigate each step after deciding to divorce.

The motivation behind the questioner's decision to divorce remains unclear. In certain cultural contexts where traditional values hold sway, the idea of a woman divorcing is often seen as unacceptable. She may feel that it reflects poorly on her personal reputation or believe that it is detrimental to the well-being of her children. The historical precedent set by the ancients, who advised against divorce, suggests that there is a long-standing prejudice against it.

The questioner may wish to attempt to resolve the issue.

What factors contributed to your decision to pursue a divorce? Was infidelity a factor, was domestic violence involved, or was the primary issue a lack of affection?

Adherence to one's own moral compass and self-compassion may confer greater resilience upon the OP.

What is the rationale behind the mother's younger brother's opposition to the divorce? Is it a matter of preserving one's reputation?

Or are they concerned that the OP will exert undue influence and attempt to persuade him to reconsider his decision?

An attempt to comprehend the rationale behind the actions of family members may facilitate the narrowing of the discrepancy. Even if it is a course of action that is likely to be solitary, it must also be meticulously planned, and it is my conviction that I can persevere through it.

Even in the event of complete social rejection, one can take solace in the knowledge that one has children. The continuation of the bloodline provides a sense of purpose and belonging, offering a source of motivation and warmth in times of adversity. It is beneficial to focus on one's assets and resources, as this can foster a sense of comfort and resilience.

It would be advisable to plan one's life after the divorce, taking into account factors such as one's preferred occupation and a relaxed disposition. This will help to mitigate the distress caused by a lack of understanding in the present, while simultaneously enhancing the quality of the questioner's life.

Provided that the decision to divorce is made after rational deliberation, the questioner may be able to dispel any doubts they may have. As the adage goes, "One should not counsel others to be kind without having experienced suffering oneself." It is also challenging for our own relatives to forgive and console us from our desired perspective. Attempting to reduce expectations may help the questioner feel less sad.

It is recommended that the questioner attempts to love themselves well. It is unlikely that anyone will be able to live a good life and choose to get a divorce, let alone have children. The fact that the questioner is able to make such a decision indicates that they have accumulated a significant amount of sadness and disappointment. However, their lives still have a long future, and it would be beneficial for them to reduce the consumption of the self.

One might consider adopting a detached approach for a period of time, allowing for a more rational and calm discourse with family members on the subject of communication. This approach may facilitate a reduction in emotional communication.

As stated in "The Courage to Be Disliked," the individual who bears responsibility for the ultimate resolution of an issue is also accountable for that outcome. The inquirer is accountable for his or her own life, and thus, there is no necessity to experience psychological pressure. Retaining these emotions internally will only exacerbate the situation.

It is recommended that you engage in open communication with a trusted individual or maintain a written record of your emotions in order to gain clarity and construct a plan for a more fulfilling future.

It is recommended that the following texts be read: "When You Begin to Love Yourself, the World Will Love You Back," "Allow Yourself to Be Yourself," and "The Courage to Be Disliked."

I wish you the best of luck!

Helpful to meHelpful to me 192
disapprovedisapprove0
Jocelyn Jocelyn A total of 2954 people have been helped

Hello, my dear friend. I know that going through a divorce is an incredibly difficult and emotionally draining experience. It's so important for you to have the love and support of your loved ones during this time. The estrangement and isolation from your original family can feel like a double whammy, making you feel even more lonely and helpless.

I know we can only communicate through the internet and text, but I still want to say Happy New Year! I know you're going through a rough time, but please take care of yourself. We all have lows in life, but there's always a way out. You've got the most loyal and long-lasting partner—yourself—on your side!

It's okay to feel sad, vulnerable, and helpless. And remember, the difficulties will eventually pass, just like there's a rainbow and clear weather after the rain.

I'm not sure what your relationship with your family of origin was like before the divorce, or how you told them about it. If you had a close relationship with your family of origin before, and they've cut off contact because they can't accept your divorce, then this might be a kind of "stress response."

If your family members are struggling to accept your decision to divorce, it's understandable that they might take a little while to come to terms with it. It's natural to feel a range of emotions when we're going through a difficult time, and it's okay if they express themselves in a way that's intense for them. You can wait and see if they calm down after some time.

If it's tricky to get together in person, why not try writing a letter to a family member you get on well with and who you can chat with? Mention how important family is to you and why you're looking to rebuild those ties. If you feel comfortable doing so, you could also tell them that you made the decision to divorce for a brighter future, that being married doesn't necessarily guarantee happiness, and that divorce isn't a failure or a misfortune.

If you've had a distant relationship with your family of origin in the past, it might take a little more effort to rebuild that connection. You might need to accept that you'll have to rely more on other relationships (like old classmates, friends, and colleagues) or establish new relationships for support.

We all want our families to be there for us, but in life we all need a diverse support system. And the great thing is, we can expand this system on our own initiative!

And there's more! When you're feeling empty and lost, it's not just your friends and family who can help you. You can also invest your emotions and attention in other things. For example, you can devote yourself to growth-oriented activities (like work, study, or hobbies), and experience a little by little sense of energy from self-care and repair.

A good friend of mine once went through a rough patch. She was betrayed by someone close to her and it was really tough. When she was feeling down and lonely, she found a way to take back control by talking to friends, getting involved in sports and studies, and slowly rebuilding her life. Later on, she found a new path and gained a new understanding of life: suffering can become an opportunity for growth.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Sending you lots of love and healing thoughts.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 938
disapprovedisapprove0
Xena Kaye Ziegler Xena Kaye Ziegler A total of 7210 people have been helped

Greetings, question asker. I am Jiang 61.

Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude for your willingness to confide in me and seek guidance. Your distress can be summarized as follows: "Following the dissolution of your biological family, you feel isolated and abandoned."

"After reading your brief introduction and understanding your situation, I will first offer you a gesture of comfort, after which we can proceed to examine this issue in greater detail.

1. Introduction

You stated, "Two of my siblings are in the midst of a divorce, and my mother has restricted my access to them as a result. My brothers and younger sister have not responded to my calls or messages. I lack a familial support system to which I can return for the Chinese New Year, and when I observe others reuniting with their families, I experience a sense of isolation and estrangement."

1. Divorce

Your new family comprises two children, and for reasons that are unclear, you are currently involved in a divorce. You have indicated that you do not wish to return to your new family for the New Year.

2⃣, Family Estrangement

At a time when the subject required the support of their biological family most acutely, the mother blocked the subject's access, ignored the subject, and the brothers neither answered nor returned the subject's calls. During the Spring Festival, when all the families gathered, the subject felt abandoned by everyone and like an orphan.

2. Analysis of Isolation The aforementioned circumstances have resulted in a profound sense of isolation and estrangement. During a period when the individual in question was experiencing a significant need for familial support, the estrangement from their biological family was particularly pronounced. The lack of communication and support from their mother, brothers, and younger sister has led to feelings of abandonment and isolation during a time when such support would have been invaluable.

1. Lack of recognition

The concept of recognition is multifaceted and encompasses a range of meanings and applications.

The term "acceptance" is defined as the act of providing a favorable evaluation and acknowledgment of an individual or their actions. However, the interpretation of this concept may vary depending on the context.

In social and family relationships, the approval of friends and family is indicative of their appreciation of one's character, regard for one's feelings, and perception of one as a trustworthy individual. This approval can enhance one's self-confidence and facilitate greater comfort in interpersonal interactions.

A further issue is the lack of recognition.

From the information provided, it appears that there was an attempt by your mother, brother, and younger brother to avoid you when you required support. It is unclear whether this indicates disapproval of your actions.

2. Non-acceptance

The concept of acceptance is an important one in psychology. It is defined as "the ability to unconditionally accept and value oneself and others in the face of life's realities." This implies that acceptance involves not only our own shortcomings and mistakes, but also those of those around us.

The concept of acceptance is a significant one in the field of psychology. It is typically defined as "the ability to unconditionally accept and value oneself and others in the face of life's realities." This implies that acceptance encompasses not only our capacity to embrace our own shortcomings and mistakes, but also the shortcomings and mistakes of those in our immediate surroundings.

Acceptance is an emotional disposition that fosters openness, tolerance, understanding, and acceptance, rather than denial, envy, or rejection.

The aforementioned attitudes are perceived as unacceptable.

It is evident that your mother, brother, and sister-in-law have adopted an unaccepting stance towards your divorce, thereby initiating emotional distancing.

3⃣, Attachment

Attachment theory

An attachment relationship is defined as a unique emotional connection between an individual and another person. This bond is characterized by its enduring nature and its significant impact on an individual's physical and mental health, as well as their social adaptability.

Attachment relationships typically originate in infancy and early childhood, when infants rely on their parents for care and attention to develop a sense of security and trust. As individuals mature, attachment relationships may evolve, but their fundamental nature remains an intimate and enduring emotional bond.

Anxious attachment is characterized by a pervasive sense of emotional insecurity and a tendency to seek external validation and reassurance from others.

Anxious attachment is defined as an emotional state in which an individual experiences a lack of love and trust in a partner, but instead exhibits an emotional hunger, hoping that the other person can save or complete them.

Anxiety is fundamentally a fear, namely the fear of being abandoned. This fear gives rise to the fear of losing and the desire for control in a relationship, which in turn exerts considerable pressure on the other person. It is unclear whether your divorce is related to your attachment type, but given your evident nervousness about your relationship with your family members in your original family, it seems likely that you value parent-child and family relationships more.

The loss of their affection can evoke feelings of distress, confusion, and a sense of being adrift. This is the underlying cause of your loneliness.

3. Recommendations for Action

1. Establish clear boundaries

A sense of boundaries is the understanding that one's personal space is distinct from that of others and that each individual possesses independent rights and responsibilities.

A sense of boundaries signifies that in interpersonal relationships, one comprehends that oneself and other individuals or entities are autonomous entities, and delineates the extent of responsibilities and rights of oneself and others, safeguarding one's personal space from encroachment while refraining from infringing on the personal space of others.

The establishment of clear boundaries is a fundamental aspect of healthy interpersonal relationships.

Regardless of the attitudes of my parents or brothers, I am aware that the decision of whether or not to marry is my own to make. I do not require the understanding or sympathy of others in this matter.

2. Self-acceptance

The concept of self-acceptance can be defined as an individual's positive attitude towards oneself and all of one's characteristics. In essence, it is an attitude of being content with one's genuine self.

The term "self-acceptance" is used to describe an individual's positive attitude towards themselves and their personal characteristics. In essence, it can be defined as an attitude of acceptance towards one's genuine self.

One must remain true to oneself.

In the context of marriage, the individual in question is the ultimate decision-maker. As long as they adhere to their personal beliefs, maintain their convictions, and accept the consequences of their actions, they will not require external support.

3⃣, Grow

It is imperative to cultivate growth.

An attachment relationship can result in a certain degree of dependency, which may manifest as a return to infantile behaviours in challenging circumstances. It is therefore beneficial to cultivate independence and growth, and to move beyond the limitations of dependence.

It is imperative to cultivate the ability to mature and develop into a well-rounded individual.

The process of learning to be independent and autonomous is often challenging and may be difficult, but it is the only way to achieve personal growth. To become a complete person, it is necessary to confront and overcome past experiences.

I would like to thank the question owner once more for placing their trust in me. I hope that they will be able to emerge from their pain as soon as possible.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 724
disapprovedisapprove0
Vanessa Celia Morgan-Hill Vanessa Celia Morgan-Hill A total of 1314 people have been helped

Dear author,

I can relate to what you're saying. It's understandable to feel isolated and adrift in such circumstances.

It is worth noting that the breakdown of family relationships and the alienation of loved ones can be a painful experience for anyone.

First, it might be helpful to allow yourself some time and space to process these emotions. It's important to be gentle with yourself and to recognize that it's okay to feel sad and lost.

It might also be helpful to find ways to support and comfort yourself. This could include sharing your feelings with friends or other close people, or participating in social activities to expand your social circle.

It's possible that your mother, brother, and younger brother are also experiencing difficulties and emotions. While their actions may have caused you pain, it might be helpful to try to understand them from their perspective.

You might consider expressing your concern for them and your desire to repair the relationship through other means, such as texting or asking a mutual friend to pass on a message.

You might also think about speaking with a counselor or family therapist, who could offer helpful techniques and support as you navigate this challenging period.

It would be beneficial to take care of yourself during this challenging period. It is important to be kind to yourself and to prioritize your physical and mental health.

While the Chinese New Year may bring feelings of loneliness, you are not alone. There are many people who are ready to offer their support and help you navigate this challenging time.

We are grateful to have this opportunity to reflect on the unity of knowledge and action, and we hope that it will bring us a lifetime of happiness.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 359
disapprovedisapprove0
Ellis Ellis A total of 2055 people have been helped

Good day. I extend my support and understanding in this challenging time.

It is understandable that you are currently experiencing feelings of frustration, helplessness, and sadness, particularly given that you are in the midst of a divorce and require the support of your family the most. The decision to sever ties with you at this time is, for whatever reason, perceived as an additional burden.

You may feel like an orphan who has been abandoned.

It is understandable that you would feel sad, helpless, and even desperate in this situation. However, it is important to accept that certain circumstances are beyond our control and focus on ways to improve our circumstances.

The family has elected to terminate ties with you, potentially due to disapproval of your divorce, which may be perceived as detrimental to their interests, or because they feel ashamed of your divorce, or because you intend to return to your parents' home to divide up the property after your divorce, or because a divorced daughter spending New Year's Eve at her parents' home affects the brothers, or because a married daughter is like a bird that has flown the coop, and so on. In short, they have chosen to ignore you.

A few days ago, a video was released in which an elderly gentleman was asked whether his divorced daughter could return to their family home for the New Year. He replied in the negative, stating that, following a divorce, it is not possible for the daughter to resume her former status as a member of the family.

The individual was then asked what should be done in the event that the daughter had nowhere else to go. The response was that she was free to go wherever she wished, but that she would not be permitted to return for the New Year.

It is likely that this is the view held by many elderly people: a divorced daughter or even a married daughter is not permitted to spend the New Year at her parents' home.

Given the circumstances of a divorce, the desire to return home for the holidays is understandable. However, from the perspective of the parents, the individual in question is no longer a member of the family. Consequently, their presence at the family home during this time may be perceived as disruptive.

This is the prevailing mindset and the resulting course of action. From their perspective, their stance is justified and even obligatory.

It is futile to attempt to persuade them, as they are unlikely to acknowledge their own shortcomings and may even perceive your efforts as an attempt to thwart their happiness.

The concern is future-oriented and contingent on events that have yet to occur. Regardless of your reassurances, it is unlikely that you will be able to fully address their concerns.

At this juncture, it is necessary to either accept the situation or resign oneself to it. If the situation cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.

At this juncture, I would prefer to accept the situation as it is. Although this may seem more pessimistic, it can also eliminate unrealistic expectations. I would suggest regarding the original family, which is unchangeable and unavoidable, as a non-player character (NPC) or background in a video game. It may impede your progress and present obstacles, but it cannot dictate your actions.

My advice for your situation is twofold. First, accept the situation and recognize that it is what it is. Second, identify ways to optimize the situation.

For example, it would be advisable to fight for more resources for yourself in the divorce proceedings. If possible, it would be prudent to avoid requesting custody of both children, and it may even be possible to give up having children. If the father of your children is reliable enough, it would be beneficial to make a plan for your future, think about what you want to do and what you can do now, and take care of your own life. You will find that without the support of your family and without marriage, you can actually live your own life well.

Third, you may wish to consider seeking other forms of support, such as friends and girlfriends. It is important to note that these relationships should not be a source of obligation or burden to others.

You may also wish to consider speaking with a counselor.

As a counselor, I recognize that my outlook is often pessimistic, but I also recognize the value in maintaining a positive outlook. I believe in the potential of the world and in the capacity of individuals to make a positive impact.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 761
disapprovedisapprove0
Clarissa Watson Clarissa Watson A total of 4511 people have been helped

Good day, question asker.

If circumstances permitted, I would extend a gesture of solace and support to console your isolated and vulnerable emotional state.

During the Spring Festival, when families are officially reunited to enjoy familial togetherness, you, as a result of the divorce,

The act of being compelled to sever ties with one's own family and experiencing a sense of abandonment can be a profoundly distressing experience for any individual.

The mother of two children is experiencing a profound degree of distress.

The specific circumstances that led to your decision to divorce are unclear, as are the reasons why your family of origin did not provide you with the support of a family that would have been there for you in your time of need.

Moreover, it would be beneficial to ascertain the level of familial support available to the individual in question.

It would be beneficial to adopt a neutral stance and ascertain whether this could prove advantageous.

The initial consideration is the apportionment of responsibility for the precipitating factors of the divorce.

It is unclear whether the dissolution of the marriage was precipitated by the couple's long-term discord or the actions of a third party.

Alternatively, could the issue be the irreconcilable conflict caused by the dominance of economic interests in marriage?

The issue at hand is of a highly complex nature, and the perspective from which it is considered has a significant impact on the normal flow of communication.

Was the decision made after careful consideration or was it made on impulse in a moment of anger?

As a result, one may gain a more nuanced understanding of the reasons behind the isolation and rejection experienced by the individual within their family of origin.

One must also consider the potential impact of divorce on the parents.

Furthermore, it is essential to consider the potential losses that may result from this decision.

Secondly, it is important to consider whether one is prepared for the possibility of being deserted after the divorce.

In light of our willingness to embrace freedom and advocate for our right to it, it is imperative that we also acknowledge the possibility of loneliness.

Furthermore, the experience of loneliness is an inescapable paradox and dialectic, as well as a fundamental aspect of reality.

Ultimately, it is essential to identify the most significant dilemma currently facing you.

Which of these dilemmas can be resolved through personal strength? Which require effective social resources?

What constitutes a support system? Which resources require financial support?

In the event that financial resources are constrained, what alternative social resources might be required?

For example, one might consider classmates, friends, relatives, or the local women's federation, among other potential resources.

In order to gain the support of one's loved ones, it may be necessary to consider the most significant obstacle.

What is the obstacle?

In any case, the bond between siblings, the connection between mother and daughter, and father and daughter is a stronger force than blood.

It is not possible to select one over the other. One must attempt to adopt the perspective of the other and persuade oneself that:

What are the underlying perceptions that contribute to a state of mutual stubbornness?

The constraints of the data set are only useful to a certain extent.

I am Dr. Yao, and I will continue to provide you with the support and care you require.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 325
disapprovedisapprove0
Brielle Grace Franklin Brielle Grace Franklin A total of 4239 people have been helped

Good day. My name is Coach Yu, and I would like to engage in a discussion on this topic with you.

First, it is important to understand the nature of emotions. Emotions are composed of three key elements: subjective experiences, external manifestations, and physiological arousal. Each emotion may be the result of an unmet inner desire. For example, when we miss the opportunity for a promotion or pay raise, we experience sadness; when we lose a treasured possession that we have had for many years, we feel anger.

As the original poster stated, following the dissolution of the marriage, I was estranged from my biological family and lacked a place of residence during the New Year, which resulted in a profound sense of isolation and abandonment.

One might inquire as to whether communication with one's family regarding the issues within the new family unit occurred prior to the decision to divorce. If such communication did occur, it would be beneficial to ascertain the opinions and suggestions expressed at that time.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to inquire as to whether communication with our family was initiated promptly following the decision to divorce. In the event that such communication did occur, it would be advantageous to ascertain the opinions and suggestions expressed by our family members at that time.

Furthermore, it would be beneficial to consider the emotional and psychological impact of being estranged from one's mother and brothers following the dissolution of the marriage.

What are your thoughts when you observe individuals reuniting with their families during the New Year? What emotions and feelings does this evoke in you?

Recall past interactions and communication patterns with your mother and brothers, and inquire as to what their underlying motivation may have been for severing contact. What is your ideal family structure?

What further action might be taken?

All emotions are neither inherently positive nor negative. When we are aware of negative emotions, we can attempt to identify and describe our feelings at the moment. Your writing is solely for your own benefit, so please feel free to express your feelings honestly and openly. This will assist us in understanding the causes and effects of emotions and also help us identify the root of the problem.

It would be beneficial to identify an appropriate time to return to the maternal residence and engage in a direct, face-to-face dialogue with the mother. During this meeting, it is crucial to express your genuine thoughts and listen attentively to her perspectives on your approach to starting a small family. Additionally, it is essential to address any rumors or misunderstandings that may have arisen. Effective communication can facilitate the release of emotions, prevent the development of distorted thoughts and behaviors due to repression, and enhance mutual understanding.

In the event that the mother initially declines, it is important not to become discouraged. It is essential to allow sufficient time for reflection and consideration, and to extend the same courtesy to the mother. With regard to the brother and sister, it would be beneficial to facilitate an interview, with a view to gaining deeper insights into their perspectives.

Let us consider the importance of self-love. It is evident that negative emotions can have a detrimental impact on one's life. However, the individual in question demonstrated an acute awareness of their emotions and sought assistance from the aforementioned platform. Therefore, it is essential to prioritize self-care, ensuring the well-being of our bodies and emotions.

It is advisable to seek assistance, given the difficulty of overcoming this issue without external support. It is recommended to identify a family member or friend who can provide positive reinforcement and serve as a reliable source of guidance. Should the need arise, it is also possible to consult with a counselor, as emotional release can facilitate the alleviation of distress and impediments to emotional well-being.

It is recommended that individuals utilize their days off to engage in outdoor activities with their children, immersing themselves in the natural environment. This can be achieved by breathing in the fresh air, listening to the songs of birds, observing the blooming of flowers, and experiencing the authentic aspects of life. When individuals engage in such activities, they may experience a sense of liberation from the burdens they carry, a release from the constraints they perceive within themselves, and a reduction in the tendency to exert pressure on their family members. Additionally, they may find themselves becoming less self-critical. At the same time, it is essential for individuals to engage in self-affirmation, self-empowerment, and the establishment of their own social support systems. This process of self-care can help individuals to develop a sense of inner strength and resilience, enabling them to make confident choices and assume responsibility for those choices.

It is recommended that the reader peruse the following text: "Be Myself."

Helpful to meHelpful to me 190
disapprovedisapprove0
Miranda Miranda A total of 2949 people have been helped

Dear question asker, My name is Evan, and I am a counselor who specializes in the transpersonal school of thought.

From the questioner's description, it is evident that they are experiencing feelings of loneliness and helplessness. In the Chinese cultural context, there is a strong preference for maintaining marital fidelity, as divorce is often perceived as having a negative impact on the family.

It is challenging for the individual in distress to address the impact on family dynamics and personal emotions without support. It is a normal emotional response to experience feelings of isolation and helplessness during such a crisis.

Regardless of the emotions the incident evokes in the inquirer, it is essential to provide unconditional love and acceptance. In Chinese culture, the family unit is often regarded as the fundamental building block of society, carrying significant cultural and social implications.

It is understandable that the subject's family would react strongly to the subject's divorce, given the importance of family harmony and affection in socialist core values.

It may be the case that the family is unable to accept the approach of the sufferer immediately, or that they disapprove of the way in which the sufferer is conducting themselves. In such instances, the sufferer can attempt to allow them some time to come to terms with this fact.

If the sufferer's family members are uncooperative and the sufferer requires assistance, they may wish to consider seeking the input of a professional. This could include consulting with a psychologist, social worker or family therapist. These professionals can provide expert advice and emotional support, assist the sufferer in managing their current complex emotions, explore ways to resolve family conflicts and help the sufferer establish a better communication relationship with their family members.

When family members are in a certain emotional state, it is challenging for the problem owner to contact them. It may be possible to gain a better understanding of their current situation through, for example, their friends or a family member who is more supportive of the problem owner. This individual can then help you understand the attitude of the family members. Despite the current obstacles to communication with family members, writing down the problem owner's feelings or thoughts and sharing them with the family may be a good starting point.

Demonstrate to the affected individual that you are aware of their stress and challenges, and express your desire for reconciliation. Once they accept this, the affected individual can also reconnect with their family and gain their support.

In the absence of support, the individual in question may wish to consider alternative avenues for experiencing warmth and love. One such avenue could be participation in volunteer activities or community organizations, which may provide a sense of camaraderie during challenging times.

Participating in community activities or volunteering can help the questioner establish new social connections and reduce feelings of loneliness. The questioner may also wish to consider contacting friends or relatives outside the family for support and assistance.

It is important to remember that, regardless of the challenges currently faced, it is essential to prioritize self-care and maintain healthy habits, such as regular eating, moderate exercise, and adequate sleep. These practices can significantly contribute to an individual's emotional well-being. Additionally, it is beneficial to seek spiritual nourishment to help mitigate negative emotions. Engaging in activities that enrich one's spiritual life, such as reading, traveling, learning new skills, and pursuing personal interests and goals, can also help to alleviate the impact of family problems to a certain extent.

While the present circumstances may appear challenging, it is important to recognize that time can bring about change.

Regardless of the changes in the family situation, the individual in question is not alone. Society is a collective of individuals, and support and understanding can be found within this larger structure.

Furthermore, it is important to remain optimistic. Family conflicts can often be resolved through time, communication, and understanding. I wish the original poster a swift resolution to their situation and the happiness and sense of belonging that is theirs alone.

I would like to suggest the following books for your consideration: "Reborn from the Ashes: How to Grow in Difficult Times," "How Women Live Out Themselves," and "Family Pain and Healing."

It is my hope that this response will prove helpful to the questioner.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 924
disapprovedisapprove0
David Orion Black David Orion Black A total of 4196 people have been helped

It is understandable that the questioner feels lonely and helpless. For the questioner, his or her family is like a "harbor" and "strong backing." Now that he or she has divorced and his or her family treats him or her like this, it seems as if he or she has been abandoned by them. It is quite upsetting to think about it.

It may be the case that the questioner is not fully aware that their longing and connection to their family of origin has not been severed in their heart. It is possible that they still have certain expectations of their family of origin that they are not aware of, and that these expectations may be an important factor affecting their marriage. If these issues are not resolved, even if the questioner succeeds in getting a divorce now, they may well encounter similar situations and problems in their next marriage. Could I ask whether it might be possible for the questioner to get a divorce then?

While divorce can temporarily relieve the pressure in the family, it is important to recognize that if the key issues are not resolved, the problems will remain. To address these issues, it is essential to engage in honest communication between the husband and wife to clarify the underlying concerns. It is crucial to determine whether the desire for divorce is genuine or if it is a result of underlying challenges that are preventing the couple from maintaining a harmonious relationship. By understanding this distinction, it will be easier to determine the best course of action.

Once this is clear, you will be able to decide on the best course of action and how to proceed. At the same time, this will also help the questioner become less dependent on and have fewer expectations of their family of origin, transfer these expectations and dependence to themselves, and believe in their own strength to help them live a better life and alleviate the pain in their hearts.

Helpful to meHelpful to me 443
disapprovedisapprove0

Comments

avatar
Isaias Davis Life is a puzzle where every piece is an experience.

I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, feeling so isolated during what should be a joyous time. It's heartbreaking to see family dynamics break down like this.

avatar
Gabriella Miller The erudite person is like a polymath, with knowledge in various areas.

Facing such silence and rejection from your family must be incredibly painful. I wish I could offer a warm hug and remind you that you're not alone in this world.

avatar
Quincy Davis Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.

It's really sad that you're going through this. Maybe reaching out to old friends or finding community events could help ease the loneliness of not having a place to go for New Year.

avatar
Zorro Jackson An honest person's words carry the weight of truth.

This situation with your family is truly difficult. Consider seeking support from online communities or forums where people understand what you're experiencing and can provide comfort.

avatar
Efrain Anderson A person's erudition is measured by the breadth and depth of their learning.

The holidays seem even harder when we feel disconnected from loved ones. Perhaps finding a way to volunteer or connect with others in similar situations can bring some solace and a sense of belonging.

More from Soul Share Cove

This feature is under maintenance and update.
Close