Greetings, question asker. I am Jiang 61.
Firstly, I would like to express my gratitude for your willingness to confide in me and seek guidance. Your distress can be summarized as follows: "Following the dissolution of your biological family, you feel isolated and abandoned."
"After reading your brief introduction and understanding your situation, I will first offer you a gesture of comfort, after which we can proceed to examine this issue in greater detail.
1. Introduction
You stated, "Two of my siblings are in the midst of a divorce, and my mother has restricted my access to them as a result. My brothers and younger sister have not responded to my calls or messages. I lack a familial support system to which I can return for the Chinese New Year, and when I observe others reuniting with their families, I experience a sense of isolation and estrangement."
1. Divorce
Your new family comprises two children, and for reasons that are unclear, you are currently involved in a divorce. You have indicated that you do not wish to return to your new family for the New Year.
2⃣, Family Estrangement
At a time when the subject required the support of their biological family most acutely, the mother blocked the subject's access, ignored the subject, and the brothers neither answered nor returned the subject's calls. During the Spring Festival, when all the families gathered, the subject felt abandoned by everyone and like an orphan.
2. Analysis of Isolation
The aforementioned circumstances have resulted in a profound sense of isolation and estrangement. During a period when the individual in question was experiencing a significant need for familial support, the estrangement from their biological family was particularly pronounced. The lack of communication and support from their mother, brothers, and younger sister has led to feelings of abandonment and isolation during a time when such support would have been invaluable.
1. Lack of recognition
The concept of recognition is multifaceted and encompasses a range of meanings and applications.
The term "acceptance" is defined as the act of providing a favorable evaluation and acknowledgment of an individual or their actions. However, the interpretation of this concept may vary depending on the context.
In social and family relationships, the approval of friends and family is indicative of their appreciation of one's character, regard for one's feelings, and perception of one as a trustworthy individual. This approval can enhance one's self-confidence and facilitate greater comfort in interpersonal interactions.
A further issue is the lack of recognition.
From the information provided, it appears that there was an attempt by your mother, brother, and younger brother to avoid you when you required support. It is unclear whether this indicates disapproval of your actions.
2. Non-acceptance
The concept of acceptance is an important one in psychology. It is defined as "the ability to unconditionally accept and value oneself and others in the face of life's realities." This implies that acceptance involves not only our own shortcomings and mistakes, but also those of those around us.
The concept of acceptance is a significant one in the field of psychology. It is typically defined as "the ability to unconditionally accept and value oneself and others in the face of life's realities." This implies that acceptance encompasses not only our capacity to embrace our own shortcomings and mistakes, but also the shortcomings and mistakes of those in our immediate surroundings.
Acceptance is an emotional disposition that fosters openness, tolerance, understanding, and acceptance, rather than denial, envy, or rejection.
The aforementioned attitudes are perceived as unacceptable.
It is evident that your mother, brother, and sister-in-law have adopted an unaccepting stance towards your divorce, thereby initiating emotional distancing.
3⃣, Attachment
Attachment theory
An attachment relationship is defined as a unique emotional connection between an individual and another person. This bond is characterized by its enduring nature and its significant impact on an individual's physical and mental health, as well as their social adaptability.
Attachment relationships typically originate in infancy and early childhood, when infants rely on their parents for care and attention to develop a sense of security and trust. As individuals mature, attachment relationships may evolve, but their fundamental nature remains an intimate and enduring emotional bond.
Anxious attachment is characterized by a pervasive sense of emotional insecurity and a tendency to seek external validation and reassurance from others.
Anxious attachment is defined as an emotional state in which an individual experiences a lack of love and trust in a partner, but instead exhibits an emotional hunger, hoping that the other person can save or complete them.
Anxiety is fundamentally a fear, namely the fear of being abandoned. This fear gives rise to the fear of losing and the desire for control in a relationship, which in turn exerts considerable pressure on the other person. It is unclear whether your divorce is related to your attachment type, but given your evident nervousness about your relationship with your family members in your original family, it seems likely that you value parent-child and family relationships more.
The loss of their affection can evoke feelings of distress, confusion, and a sense of being adrift. This is the underlying cause of your loneliness.
3. Recommendations for Action
1. Establish clear boundaries
A sense of boundaries is the understanding that one's personal space is distinct from that of others and that each individual possesses independent rights and responsibilities.
A sense of boundaries signifies that in interpersonal relationships, one comprehends that oneself and other individuals or entities are autonomous entities, and delineates the extent of responsibilities and rights of oneself and others, safeguarding one's personal space from encroachment while refraining from infringing on the personal space of others.
The establishment of clear boundaries is a fundamental aspect of healthy interpersonal relationships.
Regardless of the attitudes of my parents or brothers, I am aware that the decision of whether or not to marry is my own to make. I do not require the understanding or sympathy of others in this matter.
2. Self-acceptance
The concept of self-acceptance can be defined as an individual's positive attitude towards oneself and all of one's characteristics. In essence, it is an attitude of being content with one's genuine self.
The term "self-acceptance" is used to describe an individual's positive attitude towards themselves and their personal characteristics. In essence, it can be defined as an attitude of acceptance towards one's genuine self.
One must remain true to oneself.
In the context of marriage, the individual in question is the ultimate decision-maker. As long as they adhere to their personal beliefs, maintain their convictions, and accept the consequences of their actions, they will not require external support.
3⃣, Grow
It is imperative to cultivate growth.
An attachment relationship can result in a certain degree of dependency, which may manifest as a return to infantile behaviours in challenging circumstances. It is therefore beneficial to cultivate independence and growth, and to move beyond the limitations of dependence.
It is imperative to cultivate the ability to mature and develop into a well-rounded individual.
The process of learning to be independent and autonomous is often challenging and may be difficult, but it is the only way to achieve personal growth. To become a complete person, it is necessary to confront and overcome past experiences.
I would like to thank the question owner once more for placing their trust in me. I hope that they will be able to emerge from their pain as soon as possible.
Comments
I can't imagine how tough this must be for you, feeling so isolated during what should be a joyous time. It's heartbreaking to see family dynamics break down like this.
Facing such silence and rejection from your family must be incredibly painful. I wish I could offer a warm hug and remind you that you're not alone in this world.
It's really sad that you're going through this. Maybe reaching out to old friends or finding community events could help ease the loneliness of not having a place to go for New Year.
This situation with your family is truly difficult. Consider seeking support from online communities or forums where people understand what you're experiencing and can provide comfort.
The holidays seem even harder when we feel disconnected from loved ones. Perhaps finding a way to volunteer or connect with others in similar situations can bring some solace and a sense of belonging.