After the parents find out, how to coexist with the desire for self-harm in a more discreet manner?

I hope that my response will prove to be of some assistance to you.

You indicated that you initiated self-harm during your middle school years. Following the discovery of this behavior by your parents, you were subjected to a disciplinary response. Subsequently, you employed more discreet methods of self-harm, is that correct? I extend my support and convey warmth in the hope that you will feel comforted.

It is accurate to conclude that during the period of secondary school, adolescents experience a phase of internal instability and a prevalence of impulsive behavior. During this phase, adolescents may lack the skills to effectively regulate emotions and may resort to impulsive behaviors as a means of emotional release. When individuals experience internal distress, they may utilize physical pain as a coping mechanism to mask the underlying emotional discomfort.

Indeed, this method is employed to disguise the anguish within our hearts with physical discomfort. Therefore, it is essential to identify the specific form of suffering that is being concealed. When this method was initially utilized to discharge emotions, what was the underlying rationale?

Perhaps at the time, the necessity of such an action was not fully considered, and the potential consequences of releasing emotions in this manner were not fully understood.

As we mature, we gain the capacity to navigate challenging circumstances in a more effective manner. We can discern the underlying motives for self-harm, identify the circumstances that precipitate it, and discern its source and underlying causes. This enables us to implement an appropriate course of action.

As we mature, we gain the capacity to navigate challenging circumstances in a more constructive manner. We can discern the underlying motivations behind self-harm, identify the circumstances that precipitate it, and discern its source and underlying causes. This enables us to implement an efficacious course of action.

Concurrently, the appropriate methodology for managing emotions and stress can be employed.

In instances where self-harm is employed as a means of evading distress, it is possible to articulate one's most profound sentiments and reflections in written form. The quality of the written expression is not as crucial as the act of conveying one's innermost thoughts and feelings. Additionally, it is beneficial to identify a suitable individual with whom one can engage in discourse, thereby expressing the deeper concerns and anxieties that self-harm may mask.

If self-harm is used as a means of coping with distress, it is possible to express one's innermost feelings and thoughts in writing. It is not necessary to be concerned about the neatness or logic of the content; it is simply a matter of expressing oneself. Additionally, it is possible to identify an appropriate individual with whom to discuss one's inner concerns and difficulties, while simultaneously receiving the love and support that friendship provides.

In the event that self-harm is employed as a form of self-punishment, it is essential to enhance one's sense of self-worth, provide oneself with positive and constructive feedback, and engage in self-affirmation practices. Additionally, developing greater awareness can be achieved through reading books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses" and "Accept Your Imperfections."

In the event that self-harm is employed as a means of attracting attention, it is possible to identify an individual with whom a sincere exchange can be conducted, during which the necessity for care can be conveyed. Expressing one's needs is an effective method of alleviating depressive symptoms.

If self-harm is employed as a means of releasing anger, it can be released through activities such as boxing, running, kicking, and so forth. Additionally, activities such as squeezing stress balls, pounding pillows or sandbags, tearing paper, and so on can also be effective. Another technique that can be utilized is the empty chair technique, which involves placing an empty chair in a room and assuming that the individual with whom one wishes to communicate is seated in the chair. This allows for the expression of thoughts, feelings, and even abusive and angry sentiments directed towards the individual in the chair.

Should one be unable to adjust effectively on their own, it is advisable to seek the guidance of a professional psychologist. The mind and body are interconnected, and while a mental health issue may be self-managed in some instances, in others, professional intervention is necessary. A psychological problem can be conceptualised as a medical condition, and thus, the same principles of treatment and recovery apply. It is important to note that seeking psychological support is not a sign of weakness or personal failure. Many individuals have experienced similar challenges and have successfully managed to overcome them, and it is possible for anyone to do the same.

It is important to allow yourself sufficient time to undergo the necessary growth and adjustment processes, and to maintain the belief that you will ultimately improve. Best wishes for success!

Hello, Qingxiang here. I'd like to talk to you about this.

From your title to what you said, I read and re-read until I didn't want to read anymore.

1) I thought about how sad you are about your situation, how much pressure you're under, how helpless you feel, and how hard it is to get help.

2) You've been hurting yourself since middle school to relieve your emotions. Your parents rejected these behaviors, so you kept going.

But you kept going.

You have been trying hard to solve this problem yourself. You fill your life with activities, sleep little, but still face breakdowns. You persevere and return to normal.

You have survived all these years.

You told your partner about your situation, but he didn't understand.

— You got through that too.

Think about yourself.

You said, "Think of your family and friends," and then you lived on your own.

My heart hurt for no reason.

(1) In secondary school, your self-harm was a cry for help, but your parents misinterpreted it.

They scolded you, hoping you would remember they would never allow you to hurt yourself.

I imagine you needed support, comfort, and a warm place to escape your emotions.

You don't approve of how your parents treat you.

You don't think this will help.

Their actions didn't have much effect, but they still made you avoid attention.

2) In the days that followed, you tried to avoid getting worse.

You work hard, and I can tell from what you said.

You have little time to sleep. You spend your waking hours doing things you enjoy, like sports, reading, playing the piano, or drawing. These activities show that you are talented.

You were radiant and outstanding.

You can avoid problems by doing things that make you forget about them. But eventually, it will make you crack.

Dayu's flood control

The previous water manager tried to control the floods for over 10 years. Instead of solving the problem, he made it worse.

Why?

He blocked.

Dayu was successful in controlling the floods because he changed his approach. He drained the floodwater.

I repeated this well-known myth to make you think about one thing.

Your emotions flow through your body, just like water flows on Earth.

You don't know who to talk to about your problem.

Your parents didn't listen.

You don't have any friends to talk to.

You haven't vented.

You only told your partner once.

These things are in your heart, and it is tiring. You want to be willful, so I hope it's this kind of willfulness.

Like Yu the Great, who controlled the floods, diverting all the water from the land into the sea.

Find ways to release your emotions, sadness, and endurance.

Is there a way out?

1) Write down the things that made you feel uncomfortable today and record your feelings before bed.

Tell yourself, "Leave me," and throw the paper away.

2) Write down the good things that happened today. Look at it again the next morning.

3) When you have uncomfortable thoughts, express your emotions.

If you don't like the food at a meal, you can say, "I don't like these dishes." Pay attention to your emotions.

Also, since this has been going on a long time, I suggest you get help from professionals. You can find them on the Yi Xinli platform or at other places you trust. With their help, you can understand yourself better and get out of this situation faster.

I'm Qingxiang. I hope my thoughts and suggestions help.

I love you, world.

I hope my answer can be of some help to you.

I have read that you said you started self-harming in middle school. When your parents found out, they didn't understand and just scolded you severely. This led you to start using more secretive methods. Do you remember what made you start using this method to release emotions in the first place?

Self-harm can provide a way to cope with emotional pain, but it can also mask deeper issues. It's important to recognize when we're struggling and seek help to address the underlying causes of our pain.

It is worth noting that self-harm is a way to release emotions that many children choose during their middle school years. According to relevant research, 15% of Chinese adolescents engage in self-harming behavior, which is a figure that many parents may find surprising.

It is thought that this is because adolescence is a period of inner instability and a period when impulsive behavior is most prominent. When children in this period lack some skills to deal with emotions and happen to learn about this method, it is possible that they may use this behavior as a way to release emotions. Once they do, they will

It is thought that this is because during adolescence, we are in a period of internal instability, and it is also a period when impulsive behavior is most prominent. It seems that when children in this period lack some skills to deal with emotions and happen to learn about this method, they are likely to use this behavior as a way to release emotions. Once they feel pain inside, they may use physical pain to cover up the pain inside.

From what I have learned, it seems that there are still quite a few junior high school students who use this method of relieving stress by cutting their skin with a blade. This seems to be especially the case for those who are easily criticized by teachers at school, do not receive the love of their parents at home, or are afraid to face setbacks positively. After learning about this method, they seem to use it to help them release their emotions.

Perhaps you were in a similar situation and didn't think about it much because you didn't know of any other way to release your emotions. It's possible that you didn't realize that this method might not be the best choice.

It might be helpful to consider some alternative ways of dealing with emotions and stress.

If self-harm is used to escape pain, you might consider expressing your deep feelings and thoughts in writing (there is no need to worry about the neatness of your handwriting or the logic of your content, just express yourself as much as you like). You could also look for someone you can talk to, express your inner worries and stress, and at the same time feel the love and support of your friends (if you really can't find the right person in your life, a psychological counselor might be a good choice).

If self-harm is used as a form of self-punishment, it may be helpful to consider ways of improving self-identity, giving yourself positive evaluations, and practicing self-affirmation. You might also find it beneficial to read books such as "Accept Yourself: Transcend Your Inherent Weaknesses" and "Accept Your Imperfections" to gain a deeper understanding.

If self-harm is done to attract attention, you may wish to consider connecting with the person you want to talk to. You could have an honest exchange, express the need for their care, and only when we express our needs will our hearts not be so oppressed.

If self-injury is used to release anger, you might consider releasing your emotions through vigorous exercise. Boxing, running, playing football, and other activities can be effective. You could also try squeezing stress balls, pounding pillows or sandbags, tearing paper, or using the empty chair technique to release emotions. This involves placing an empty chair in the room and assuming that the person you want to talk to is sitting in it. You can then express your thoughts and feelings (including abuse and anger) to the chair.

Additionally, if you are unable to adjust your state on your own, it may be helpful to seek the support of a psychiatric department or professional psychological counseling institution. There is no need to feel guilty or shy. It is perfectly normal to experience some psychological distress and problems. Just as we seek treatment when we are sick, we can also make adjustments when we have some psychological problems. Sometimes, we can indeed help ourselves out of difficult situations through our own resilience. However, if you feel that you don't have enough strength, seeking professional support is also a courageous and responsible act. Moreover, as long as we actively adjust, we can definitely get out of the difficult situation and become better and better. Many people have come through it, so you can do it too!

I encourage you to persevere, and I wish you the best!

Hello, question asker! I'm so honored to answer your question.

From what you've told me, it seems like you've been self-harming for quite some time. I can imagine it started as a way to release your emotions, but it didn't help you understand your family or partner. You felt so alone and wanted to end your life, but you couldn't bear the thought of leaving those you love. I'm here to give you a warm hug and a big, comforting hug. I want you to know that you're not alone, and I'm here to support you in facing life with courage.

It can feel like you're facing your own negative emotions alone, like you're a lone warrior facing the darkness. It's important to remember that you don't have to bear it alone. Is that right? From what you've shared, it seems that your self-harm behavior might be a way of expressing depressive emotions.

Of course, it really depends on what the question is and whether you go to a psychiatric hospital for an assessment. If you have depression, the doctor will probably give you medication.

Life is like a feather, and any self-harming behavior can make it feel heavy and burdensome. But life is also like a butterfly, and the pain of self-harm can be used to relieve the pressure. I would also like to talk about what is behind the questioner's self-harming behavior:

It's so important to feel pain.

It's so sad, but many people who are emotionally numb will engage in self-harm as a way to experience physical pain. People with a history of trauma or abuse often numb their feelings to block painful memories and internal emotions.

Over time, this numbness can make people feel like their lives are empty. They may crave the feeling of some emotions or sensations. Self-harm can help individuals feel again.

It's so sad to see children being hurt by the way they're treated at home. Many Chinese families believe in a very strict way of raising kids, and they don't allow children to express their feelings. This can cause depression in children, and sadly, many kids turn to self-harm as a way to cope.

Let's talk about something a little different today. I want to talk about induced punishment.

People who engage in self-harm often feel ashamed or worthless. This can be because of past experiences such as bullying, abandonment, trauma, or loneliness. It's totally normal to feel inadequate and unworthy when you've been through these things.

If you're struggling with an eating disorder, substance abuse disorder, or mental health disorder, you might feel ashamed about these underlying issues, especially if you're not getting the help you need. Self-injurious behavior is a way for you to punish yourself to reduce your personal "guilt."

We all have those days when we just need to distract ourselves from some of those unwanted feelings.

Many folks who self-harm have a strong urge to cut as a way to escape their inner feelings. They may experience anxiety, sadness, loneliness, anger, and other negative feelings.

They may not want to experience these memories and flashbacks, and self-harm can easily distract them. For these people, self-harm is a way to forget painful emotions or memories that surface.

It's so important to learn how to regulate your inner emotions!

Self-harm is often a way for individuals to temporarily vent emotions that they cannot handle or overcome. It's a way to escape reality and express inner emotions.

Self-harm releases a lot of endorphins, which makes you feel good and relaxed. But, unfortunately, this feeling doesn't last long. It's quickly replaced by feelings of guilt and shame, which can make you feel worse inside. This can make it hard to stop hurting yourself.

If you've been using self-harm to cope with your emotions for a long time, it's likely that you've become dependent on it. It's not something you want to keep doing, and it's important to recognize when you've crossed that line. If you're wondering whether you've become dependent on self-harm and why you don't want to get rid of it, you're not alone.

We've already talked about why people self-harm. Now, let's talk about how we can change this behavior.

Take some time to think about your own family relationships.

I'd love to know more about the relationship between you and your family of origin. Has the way you were brought up affected you in any way?

Take a moment to reflect on your relationship with your family of origin. How do you typically interact with your parents? Have these patterns of communication contributed to the questioner's experience of self-harm? If there's anything you'd like to change, what would it be?

Even if they're not understood by their family, it's so important for the questioner to be brave enough to express their emotions. It's a real shame when a boy's emotions are suppressed. Why can't you talk to your parents?

As long as it doesn't hurt your family, you can express yourself bravely. You deserve to feel heard and seen!

Let's talk about self-harm.

We all have bad habits that we'd like to change. But how can we make that change without resorting to self-harm? The answer is to turn those bad habits into good ones! Once we correct our bad habits, we'll feel better. So let's make a plan to turn those bad habits into good ones!

Ultimately, it's up to you to decide if super self-discipline is a form of mental self-harm. But remember, you have the power to change your life for the better! If you're ready to make a change, you can absolutely do it through self-discipline.

You know what you need to do. Get help from a professional counselor.

If you're looking to change your current lonely state and regulate your emotions, you can seek psychological intervention from a professional psychological counselor. Pain can sometimes make us vent our emotions in ways that aren't helpful. In the future, to avoid getting deeper and deeper into it, you can seek professional psychological counseling or find ways to release your emotions.

It's so important to learn to express your emotions and accept yourself, my friend.

It's so important to understand negative emotions when we're facing them. They're our body's way of defending itself. When we encounter dangerous situations, our bodies respond by stimulating negative emotions.

It's totally okay to feel whatever you're feeling. We all have those days where we just need to let it all out. But remember, self-harm is a pretty extreme way to do that. Try doing something you enjoy instead. It'll distract you from your negative thoughts and help you focus on the positive.

Everyone should have their own interests and hobbies, and I think it's really important to remember that if you are a person of mental labor, your interests should ideally be the opposite of your mental labor. And if you are a manual laborer, your interests and hobbies should ideally be the opposite of your manual labor. The mind and body are unified in humans, so it's not enough to just get used to physical labor without using your brain, and you can't just use your brain without using your body. You need a balance of mental and physical strength, and I truly believe this will be more helpful for the poster's emotional adjustment.

I really hope my answer helps the questioner!