After the younger brother was born, it seemed like everything changed overnight?

Hello, question asker!

It's totally understandable that you feel like you don't get as much love as your brother in this family. It seems like the whole family pays more attention to your brother and less attention to you, which is really tough to deal with. You're feeling unhappy and sad for yourself, and we're here to help.

Before your brother came along, you got three whole years of all your parents' love to yourself! At the time, the whole family spoiled you, and your brother couldn't experience that kind of love because he still had to share the family's love with you.

Because of your brother, you had a point of comparison and always felt that your parents paid more attention to him, which is totally understandable!

For example, if you got hurt, it would be really comforting, and your mom would give you extra attention, as if your cousin was living a happier life than you.

We totally get it.

But in reality, for example, if one child could already take care of themselves to a certain extent and the other was still young, naturally the mother would take care of the younger one more. When you were little, your mother held you just like that.

But you didn't remember much at the time, sweetheart.

You were only trying to protect your brother from getting hurt, but things got a little out of control. In the heat of the moment, your parents were so worried about you that they didn't notice your brother at first.

You found your way home all by yourself, a lonely child, all the way home. You were also a child in need of care, and this was actually a special situation. Your parents did their best, but they could have done a better job of settling you down.

It's totally normal to pay more attention to how much your parents love your younger brother. Have you ever noticed when your parents love you too?

It can be really tough to treat two kids equally, right? I'm sure your parents have tried their best, but it's not always easy to notice.

You're not wrong at all! But it's also important to accept that you have to share your parents' love with another child.

You say that your grandmother is not on your side, and you're not sure what's going on.

You like your grandmother, and she's usually very good to you. It's a two-way street, which is why you rely on her.

I know it can be tough, but I'm here to encourage you to focus on the good things your family does for you. It's so easy to get caught up in losses and comparisons, but I promise you it will only make you feel more miserable.

It is clear from your description that your family dynamics have changed significantly since the birth of your younger brother. This has had a profound impact on you. The addition of a family member often changes the structure of the family and the role of each member, especially when a new baby arrives. It is inevitable that parents' attention and resources are often redistributed, which can make other children feel neglected or treated unequally.

Your feelings are valid. Children are sensitive and they notice and feel whether love and attention in the family is distributed fairly. You may have sensed this change, especially after the birth of your younger brother. You were no longer the only child in the family, which resulted in you losing some of the privileges and attention you previously had.

Furthermore, the academic difficulties you mentioned and the pressure of homework likely contributed to your feelings of unease. If you are experiencing challenges in your studies and your younger brother seems to be doing better in this area, it may make you feel like you are not smart enough or not appreciated.

It is also not uncommon for family members to have different preferences. Sometimes parents or grandparents may have a stronger preference for one child, which may be based on a variety of factors, including gender, personality, behavior, or simply an emotional connection. This does not mean they don't love the other children, but this preference may make the child feel unfair and hurt.

Dealing with these feelings is not easy, but you can cope with the situation. Here are some suggestions to help you.

1. Express your feelings. Talk to someone you trust, such as a friend, teacher, or counselor, about your feelings and experiences. Having someone to listen to your story can make you feel better.

2. Talk to your family. If possible, talk to your parents or other family members about how you feel. They need to understand how their behavior affects you.

3. **Self-affirmation**: You are valuable and strong. Your value is not based on comparison with others or what others say about you.

4. Seek professional help: If you find these feelings are affecting your daily life, you need to seek professional mental health support. A counselor can help you process these feelings and provide strategies to improve your situation.

5. Focus on personal growth. Engage in activities and interests you enjoy to build self-confidence and a sense of self-worth.

6. Practice tolerance and understanding. Understand the situation from your parents' perspective. They were also dealing with their own pressures and challenges at the time.

Your feelings matter, and you deserve a loving and supportive environment. Take control by actively seeking solutions and you will improve your mood and find more balance and happiness in your family.

Hello, I'm Xintan Coach Feiyun. Life is a beautiful journey, and it's so important to appreciate all the wonderful things it has to offer.

I can tell you're hurting inside. It's clear you're no longer the "favorite" of the family like you were when you were little. It's sad to see you feeling unloved by your father and unloved by your mother. It's even making you feel like you're a superfluous existence. What happened? Let's take a look together:

?1. We all have limited human energy, and it's simply not possible to do everything.

We often hear people say things like, "Boys should be raised to be independent and girls to be doted on," and "I want my son to be a dragon and my daughter to be a phoenix." It's so interesting how boys and girls have different ways of being raised, and each family also has a different way of raising their children.

It's natural to want your parents to be fair and give your brother the same care they gave you. But, just as they couldn't do everything for your brother as they did for you before your brother was born, they can't be 100% fair to both of you.

?2. It's so important for parents to grow and achieve two-way parenting with their children.

You were the eldest child, and your parents were new parents with little experience. You were a feisty one, weren't you? They didn't know if you were hungry, thirsty, had a poo or a pee, so they could only accumulate experience in raising you through trial and error.

They didn't have any experience of supporting and educating you as you grew up. But after your younger brother was born, they gained some experience in raising you and learned how to truly love children and express their love for you.

You feel like your parents favor your younger brother, and you think your grandfather is patriarchal and favors your younger brother over you. If you had been the one who fell and broke your head, your grandfather would have run to the hospital without looking back, and the one he would have carried in his arms would have been you.

? 3. Your younger brother is not your competitor. What really defeated you was your sense of worth.

Your younger brother is your sibling. Your parents cannot accompany you forever, but your younger brother will continue to be there for you as a member of your family, just as your parents did. This is what is meant by a deep sibling bond.

It's totally normal to see your younger brother as a competitor. It's just a result of a limited perception and a misconception that your younger brother has taken away some of the love that your parents originally had for you.

The palms and backs of the hands are all the same flesh, and in the hearts of their parents, they are all their favorites. It's only natural that when you feel like you're not worthy, you'll look outside for more attention from your parents, others, and a future partner.

The simplest way to feel more worthy is to give yourself lots of positive feedback. Every day, think of three things you like about yourself and tell yourself how great you are! For example, "I have a great smile today and I'm a little happier than yesterday."

I really think you'd benefit from reading The Power of Self-Growth. I hope you have a life illuminated by love through reading and learning!

I really hope this has been helpful for you. I love you, the world and I love you.

If you'd like to keep in touch, you can follow my personal homepage, "Heart Exploration Service."

Hello.

From your description, it's clear that after your brother was born, you felt that you were no longer the favorite child and that your parents did not dote on you as much. When your brother fell and hurt his head, it's evident that both your parents were preoccupied with him and neglected you.

You are scared. You don't want your brother to break his head, and you don't want to be blamed by your parents. You are so scared that you don't even dare to go home. You can do this.

You mentioned that you received a lot of attention from your family when you were three years old because you were the only child and everyone doted on you. However, with the birth of your younger brother, your parents paid more attention to him.

Your younger brother needs more attention from adults than you do. You have started going to kindergarten and learning to do things independently, such as getting dressed and putting on your shoes by yourself, while your brother can't do anything. Your parents have limited energy, and when they pay attention to your younger brother, they inevitably neglect you.

They love you just as much. They just give more attention to your brother because he needs care. Tell your parents how you feel. You need their care and love.

As for studies, you may not be able to learn the material quickly, and your parents may overreact, making you feel anxious and uncomfortable. Compared to your brother, your parents have become nicer, which makes you feel aggrieved and subconsciously compare yourself to your brother, thinking that you are not as good as him.

Your goodness should not be judged by your academic performance, which is only one aspect of a person's ability and does not represent the person as a whole. Don't negate yourself. Think about what you can do to improve yourself and affirm your efforts and the progress you have already made.

Your brother insisted on going to a place with you to play, and accidentally fell and hurt his head. Don't worry, your parents probably won't blame you for this. They're just worried that your brother needs to be treated as soon as possible, and they may be upset with you, but more than that, you need to tell your parents that you were also scared, that you were very afraid, that you were also worried about your brother, and that you were afraid of being blamed by your parents.

I am certain that your parents will not blame you too much. They likely did not realize that this incident would scare you so much.

I am confident you will find this information useful. Best regards!

Dear Sir/Madam, I hope my answer will be of some assistance to you.

It is possible that you feel these changes are due to your younger brother. You may be envious of the amount of attention your brother receives from your mother on a daily basis. It may seem that the adults in the family are more tolerant and understanding of your younger brother or sister, and this tolerance and understanding is what you desire, correct? You can go and clarify your needs, and then sincerely inform your parents that you believe they will understand you better.

It is also important to understand that the birth of a younger sibling does not indicate a change in parental love. Rather, it is a natural consequence of the unique ways in which parents express their love at different stages of their children's lives. The love you desire and the love they provide may differ at this time. You may also benefit from stepping into your parents' shoes and considering how you would feel and think if you were in their position.

It may be helpful to gain a deeper understanding of their perspective.

I advise you to:

It is important to identify your needs and communicate them to your parents in a sincere manner. By doing so, they will be able to understand you better and provide you with the care you require.

From your description, it appears that you envy your younger siblings because they receive more tolerance and acceptance from their parents. They are not scolded or blamed for their mistakes, which you perceive as a lack of tolerance, understanding, and acceptance from your parents. This is your need because it has not been met in the relationship, leading you to believe that you are no longer loved by them.

It would be advisable to identify an appropriate opportunity to communicate your needs and convey your true feelings to your parents. Only when you do so will they be able to understand your thoughts and feelings, as well as your needs, and provide you with the care you require. You should endeavour to identify an appropriate opportunity to express your true feelings, needs and desired care from your parents.

2. It is important to note that parents' love for their children does not change. However, the way they express their love may evolve as their children grow and develop.

It is important to note that parents' love for their children does not change. However, as children grow up, parents' role shifts from solely providing physical care to also offering guidance and support in developing independence. When children were younger, they likely received a lot of physical affection, acceptance, and attention from their parents. As they mature, parents' support evolves to include guidance on adapting to school life, social interactions, and developing self-reliance. This shift in parenting style is a natural part of child development and is a form of love that continues to grow and evolve.

I recall that when my son was very young, my in-laws also held him in high regard. They refrained from reprimanding him and were even cautious about speaking loudly. Subsequently, after the birth of my younger nephew and the subsequent growth of my son, my in-laws showered the younger nephew with affection, spoke softly to him, and refrained from scolding him but rather carefully protected him. However, when it came to my five-year-old son, they began to impose restrictions and rules on him and also started speaking loudly. This does not indicate that they do not love this grandson; it is simply a matter of how they express love at different stages of a child's development.

3. One strategy is to engage in role reversal. Imagine you are your parents and find yourself in the same situation they did. What would you do? What would you think and feel?

It may also be helpful to consider the situation from the perspective of the child. Imagine that you are your own mother and father. You have worked hard to provide for your family. You have a daughter and a son. Your daughter is already capable of dressing herself, eating, and sleeping independently. However, your son is still very young and cannot yet do these things for himself. Consequently, you must spend more time taking care of him. At this point in time, what would you want your daughter to do? When your daughter reaches a certain age, what kind of life would you prefer for her?

It is understandable that the birth of a child may impact the amount of attention a parent can devote to their existing children. While the new arrival is a joy, the additional care and attention required for a newborn can limit the energy and resources available for other children. It is natural to hope that a child will support their parents in this challenging period and to worry that their younger sibling may cause distress. It is also reasonable to expect that a child will understand the difficulties faced by their parents and to hope that they will love and care for their younger sibling. It is important to recognise that the family dynamic may change in the short term, but that with time and support, the family can continue to thrive.

As a mother, I am also a daughter and a sister. I am aware that as parents, we all love our children very much, but it is indeed sometimes challenging to be perfect. Frequently, we also require our children's understanding, which also provides us with strength and warmth. Of course, I also hope that my child can tell me her true thoughts, so that I know how I can love her better.

Please refer to the above for further information. I wish you success in your endeavours.

Hi, I'm happy to answer your question and hope you find my suggestions helpful.

From what you've said and how you've grown, we can see it from the perspective of the two children.

One thing to consider is your perspective. In the past, the elders in our family focused their attention on us, and we were the ones who received the most care and attention.

One day, we suddenly had younger brothers and sisters in the whole family, whether they were real brothers and sisters or cousins. We were no longer the ones who needed looking after, so all the attention of the adults shifted to those two little babies. Whether it was our own parents, grandparents, or aunts, they all had new babies to love, and we felt like we were being ignored.

The second perspective is about my younger brother.

When I was born, I was the youngest, so I was the center of attention. My parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, and older sister all took care of me. One day, I wanted to go out and play with the family, but they didn't take me along because I was still young. I fell down and hurt my head, so I was in pain and cried. Everyone in the family came to take care of me. I don't know how I got home, and I don't know when my sister got home. I just know that it seems like the whole family likes me, except my sister, who doesn't seem to like me very much. I don't know why that is.

If we look at it from the perspective of both children, it's clear that kids want and look forward to getting the attention of everyone. It's a normal thing. Everyone wants to be loved and wants to feel special.

But everyone has limited energy. For example, when we were young, our aunt took care of us because she was single and was the primary caregiver in the family. Later, she also had her own life to develop. She got married and had her own children. She needed to focus more on her own family, so she might have neglected the little family of her siblings.

Parents will have the energy too. When we were young, they took care of us in the same way as they do our younger siblings because our state before the age of three is the same as our younger siblings' state before the age of three. We were both unable to take care of ourselves, so adults need to spend more time and energy to help babies survive.

It's easy to overlook the feelings of the eldest child in the process. Adults may equate the eldest child with an adult or an older child, which can make it seem like they don't need the same love and care as younger children.

So, if you have the chance, you can talk to your parents or your mum in private. You can just say a few words to show that you also want your parents' attention.

Sometimes, when getting along with your younger brother, you may hurt him, and sometimes you may even hurt yourself. This is totally normal for a child growing up, but we have to be careful not to cross the line into serious extremes.

For instance, kids will bump into things, so we can put a band-aid on it, disinfect it a little, and it will heal in a couple of days. Kids grow up by falling over one step at a time.

However, there are other situations where it's important to get medical help right away. For example, if someone has a head injury or a broken arm, it's crucial to seek medical attention quickly. In serious cases like these, it's natural for family members to be concerned because these injuries can have serious after-effects. So, in times like these, the focus of the family is not on the younger sibling or the youngest child in the family, but on the person who has been injured.

If someone in the family fell down and hurt themselves, other family members would definitely come to help.

To be honest, I don't hate my younger brother. I don't blame my parents either. It's just that I feel uncomfortable because of some kind of lack or imbalance. As a member of the family, we have the right to communicate with our parents and express some objective demands. I hope that while they are taking care of my younger brother, they can also pay attention to and understand that I am also a child who needs the company and care of my family.

I hope you can find a better balance in your relationship with your parents through some self-reflection or communication.

I love you, the world, and I appreciate you!