After two years of marriage, I really don't want to endure injustice anymore. What should I do?

Hug the original poster! During pregnancy, you had to put up with such a husband, but what about after the baby is born? It's hard to imagine, but you can do it!

Since it has already happened and has been going on for two years, you absolutely have to do something to help change the situation in the time to come!

First, protect yourself!

This is the most important step you can take! If your husband only knows how to beat you and argue with you, you have the power to protect yourself and avoid the escalation of violence.

And there's more! You can also tell your parents what's going on and ask them to sit down with your husband's parents to talk about it.

You can do this! If you just submit, it will only make the other person continue to encroach on your boundaries. You must speak up about your dissatisfaction and pain.

If the other party values you and the child, he will change! If the other party does not change, you also have the power to make the right decision for yourself.

If you're struggling to be strong right now, don't worry! You can rely on the amazing support of your family to help you become stronger.

The second thing you can do to take control of your life is to make yourself financially independent.

First, get out there and earn a living! Then, go out and earn love! This is the first step to becoming a strong and independent woman.

Many women have the incredible opportunity to experience love in the first half of their lives and money in the second half. The truth is that they have not yet expanded their own horizons, but they can do so!

When you are financially independent, you will have a world of amazing choices and a greater sense of freedom than you ever thought possible!

Otherwise, you can always change partners and start anew!

We can't avoid all the challenges that come our way by getting married. But we can face them head-on and become stronger for it!

Now for the fun part! It's time to express your dissatisfaction.

The questioner also mentioned that "unlike other women, she is not willful and throws tantrums." I believe that the questioner is more tactful when expressing her dissatisfaction, and it's great to see her being so diplomatic!

You don't need to agree with everything, but you should definitely speak up if you feel uncomfortable!

You deserve better than to keep putting up with it in a marriage! If the other person is being extremely unreasonable and has put you under a lot of psychological pressure, you must stand up for yourself!

Appeasing and being submissive simply won't get you the consideration you deserve!

You can gain respect by expressing your feelings!

This is especially true for "macho" men. Don't give in! It will only make the other person worse.

If the original poster is unable to express their thoughts directly, they can also go somewhere else and spend some time apart from their husband for a while. It's a great idea!

When you calm down, you can also make the two of you think about what to do next!

And finally, love yourself and stay happy!

When you're pregnant, it's so important to stay in a good mood! It's good for you and your baby.

Find something you love to do and go out more often!

With the help of family and friends, you can find some social support and enjoy a positive mood with others!

It's time to adjust your state, do something, and let yourself gain a sense of meaning and existence in the process!

We always hate work, but when the epidemic really comes and everyone is isolated at home, it is actually very easy to get bored. So, let's make the most of it!

Work is an amazing opportunity to get better and better at what you do and to find your own sense of existence and accomplishment!

When you really feel unwell, you can talk to the baby in your belly! After all, there are people in this world who love you, aren't there?

The questioner absolutely must believe in themselves! They are worthy of love and respect, and they deserve it!

Find your courage, say no, plan for the future, seek support from family and friends, and the dawn will eventually come!

Come on! You can do this!

Hello, question asker! I'm thrilled we met here.

Let's dive right in and go through what you said:

Guess what! It's been two whole years since we got married. And I'm currently pregnant!

& often subjected to cold violence by her husband.

& At the moment, my financial situation is not good enough to provide you with a better life, so I am even more humble in our relationship.

& For now, you can only put up with your husband's behavior, but that's so unfair to you.

& In your time with your husband, you have not been able to enjoy love and happiness.

Question owner, I'm so inspired by your words! I'm also feeling your distress. How have you endured the past two years since your marriage?

It's so frustrating not even being able to cry your heart out! But guess what? You can change that!

& choose to live your life in a way that causes you to feel good about yourself!

I don't know what made you decide to spend the rest of your life with him, but it seems that you may need to make a new decision. And the great news is that there are two options: continuing your married life or separating.

However, you are currently pregnant and financially constrained, which to some extent limits your choices. But if the people around you can give you enough help, I absolutely believe you can do it!

You have the power to make this happen! You can do this by standing up for yourself and your rights, continuing to live with him, and being proud of who you are. Or you can do this by living alone with the child and...

And change yourself!

You say that your current financial situation is restrictive and makes life more difficult. I don't know what you do for work, and I don't know how much support your parents can give you, but once you make a decision, you will find that there are so many things you can do! You are strong, and you are going to be just fine. As they say, "women are weak, but strong as mothers."

If you want to keep the baby, the baby will give you unlimited strength, and you will also discover your own unlimited potential! Also, in order to have a good mood during pregnancy, you can communicate with your husband and ask him to change his attitude and communication style with you.

I truly believe that your husband can make changes for the sake of the child!

And grow together!

You can find some great resources on the Internet and watch them with your husband together. The main point is that you need to have a happy mood and a warm environment during pregnancy. Will your husband change for the sake of the child?

If he doesn't even bother to do that, then it's time to start thinking about your future life! You could also ask your husband to go to counseling with you.

Let's grow together under the guidance of a consultant!

Okay, I am I. I really hope my answer will be useful to you!

Hello!

Reading your words, I want to give this expectant mother and this poor baby a hug from afar. There are some big issues in your relationship. Your partner's problems are pretty obvious: violent outbursts and mood swings. You, Bao, also have a more hidden need – for emotional support.

It's important to accept reality if you want to change it.

The reality is that you've met someone who isn't very good, who can't communicate normally and is unpredictable. Given the current situation, it's not possible for you to live a good life or get a divorce yet because you're pregnant. So how can we protect ourselves? The answer is to ask him for as little as possible, not to try to change him, and let him pay and change something for the baby and for you (: not something he's willing to do from the bottom of his heart. Even if he does it for you, he'll be angry and dissatisfied, with anger and even wanting to hit someone...

Take care of yourself and learn to manage your emotions.

Hug yourself again. The little life inside your tummy exists because of you. Prioritize your own feelings and take care of yourself to make your future life a little more smooth. The epidemic situation has been quite serious recently. If the weather is nice and there is no epidemic in the city, go out more and feel the spring!

I'm sure everything will slowly get better now that you've started paying attention to yourself! You can find ways to satisfy yourself.

Even if you're not rolling in it financially, you can still treat yourself to whatever you want once a week!

If he's making you unhappy, ignore him! Happiness is the greatest thing in the world.

If he makes me unhappy, I'll ignore him. I'll read my book, go for a walk if I can, buy myself the food I want to eat (once a week), and if I have time, I'll go make new friends or chat with my girlfriends. I'll be happy any way I can – as long as I don't go looking for other people of the opposite sex, I'm faithful to this marriage.

He doesn't have the authority to tell you that.

Start growing yourself, learn psychology, and grow together with your baby.

Dear, It's often the case that when we feel bad, feel like we're not doing well, encounter unpleasant people, and feel unhappy and frustrated, it's because we still have an unmet need, and that's what attracts these kinds of people.

If you're looking for answers about obstacles in intimate relationships, I'd recommend checking out "Why Love Hurts" and "Why Family Hurts." These books, written by Wu Zhihong, use real-life examples to shed light on the psychological needs behind many marital and romantic relationships, and also offer insights on how to explore the self to begin growth and change.

There's also a book about the counseling process and how to find your happy self, called Mr. Toad Goes to the Psychologist.

You can also read more books on psychology in your spare time, Bao.

I hope my answer is helpful to you. Best regards, [Name]

If you're not happy, it's clear there's something wrong with this kind of life. I wouldn't waste my life in such an environment. No one should put up with an uncomfortable environment for too long.

Giving in is not the answer. You have to be the one to change. You need to assess whether this relationship is causing you too much pain. Your husband has always let you suffer in silence, constantly obey and submit to him, and do things according to his wishes.

After all these years, he still exhibits violent behavior and verbal abuse. It's clear he has no intention of changing. What if he never does? What if he refuses to acknowledge his own issues or his family members turn a blind eye?

You are the only one suffering in this situation. You are already pregnant, yet you still have to endure all kinds of things. This situation will make you very depressed. There is no way we will get good results under a repressive environment.

I don't know why you and your husband chose to get married in the first place. A person's character is usually evident in the early stages. You have already shed many tears, and there is nothing you can do to make yourself less of a burden. His indifference and verbal abuse will devour you.

If you are unhappy and feeling suffocated, you should definitely try counseling before making an ultimatum. There's still a possibility for improvement. If you feel that the other person no longer shows any signs of being good to you, you should also seek help from family and friends to see how best to gradually leave. Good luck.

ZQ?

Hello, landlord!

I feel for you.

Pregnancy is hard and dangerous. Family members should care for the pregnant woman. My husband is moody and easily irritable. When he loses his temper, he throws things and swears at people.

The landlord is frustrated, suffocated, and unhappy in this marriage. They cannot endure it much longer.

Patience won't solve the problem. Avoidance makes things worse. Freud said, "If you don't express your emotions, they'll come back stronger."

Suppressing your emotions and compromising for others is bad for your health and the baby. It also makes your marriage worse.

An intimate relationship based on equality, cooperation, and dedication lasts. A relationship in which one party sacrifices and puts themselves down to satisfy the other party's needs is neither healthy nor long-lasting.

Secondly, the landlord should take the first step.

1. Express your feelings and needs clearly.

It's hard to change someone else, especially if they don't want to change. But it's easier to change yourself. The first step is to accept yourself.

You said you don't have much money, so you have to compromise. It seems like you're used to putting yourself in a lower position than your partner.

But in a family, it's not about who earns more. Your dedication and sacrifices are just as valuable as anyone else's.

You need to recognize yourself to have the courage to express your emotions and needs, communicate sincerely, and clarify your boundaries. The other person's reaction is their choice.

2. Plan for your future.

You also need to plan for the rest of your life. What if your husband ignores you and is abusive?

Many studies show that divorce is not harmful to children. As long as you provide a loving environment, it is less harmful than remaining in an unhappy marriage.

Luo Xiang said, "When fate hands you over to that special moment, will you be as brave as you imagined?"

I hope everything goes well in the future.

Hello, question asker!

I can see how you're feeling after being married for more than two years and now pregnant. It's totally normal to feel this way! But it can be tough when you're facing an emotionally unstable husband with a somewhat domineering personality. It can feel like you're stuck, and it's hard to know what to do. I'm sending you lots of hugs!

I can totally relate to your situation! My husband and your husband seem to have a lot in common. I've experienced some of the same things you've described, like having a bad temper or feeling irritable. I've even thrown things before!

Sometimes he would swear, but when he lost his temper, it was uncontrollable, and he would hit as hard as he could. When I really think about that scene, I feel so sad and aggrieved that I can't even begin to describe it in words.

I've been in this marriage for more than 20 years, and even my kids say I'm a saint! They say they can't stand their dad. Looking back, there are three reasons why I've put up with so much.

First of all, it's important to remember that very few people our age get divorced. The general environment can make it tough for them to do well after getting divorced. I also grew up in the midst of my parents' quarrels and arguments. I've become accustomed to this pattern, and I'm sure many of you can relate. We all grow up and become like our parents, don't we?

Secondly, my husband is not the most patient person in the world. He gets angry and sometimes even smashes things! He also swears sometimes. But overall, he is a kind and caring person who takes care of our family. He is not the most sociable person and he doesn't always know how to say nice things. He doesn't always care about your feelings and sometimes he doesn't do things to please you. As you said, he is a bit of a male chauvinist and always thinks that he should be in charge. He doesn't want to do the housework either, but he is responsible for the family and the children. And he never wastes money. If he thinks it's something a man should do, he will do it without complaint.

Finally, I think my own problem may be my own weak character. I can always think of the good times when he didn't do too much, like when he was grumpy but never hit people or the children. In this regard, she should say that she still has self-control. I feel even more incapable of leaving this marriage and entering a better life. If I were allowed to be single again and raise the children, I think that kind of life would be even more difficult. In fact, it's really not about money. I earn more than he does, and I didn't choose this kind of life for the children. It's just my own character. I may also be naturally contented.

I hope this finds you well! I just wanted to circle back to you real quick. How you choose is totally up to you and your situation. We all have those days when we're feeling a little grumpy, and that's okay! But, when we're feeling calm and collected, we might miss our partners and the good times we've had together. You mentioned that when he's not losing his cool, he's still kind and understanding. That's a beautiful thing!

I think this sentence also applies to you. It may be because you have been married for more than two years, or because you are now pregnant and have a child! It's just that during your pregnancy, your expectations of him may have become even higher. We know that during pregnancy, people's emotions also fluctuate. You expect him to understand, but as a straight man, he really can't appreciate this. If your expectations of him are higher than before, he may really become more emotionally unstable than before.

What about the current situation? You can also choose to treat it as a kind of experience for you!

In other words, do your best to make her happy! I should also mention that it doesn't mean you should do everything to please him. You also need to have your own opinions and your own way of doing things. If you act according to your own wishes, I think that at that time, even if he is angry and loses his temper, he will be less angry and aggrieved because you have not wronged yourself. If you always go along with him, then he may lose his temper even if you go along with him. If that happens, we will be even more devastated.

It's so important to pay attention and find the things about your husband that you love. Even his weaknesses can be wonderful if they bring you closer together and make your life happier. I think my husband's unsociability is great for keeping our marriage strong, and I'm so lucky to have him!

You can't really advise someone else to be good without having experienced the hardships yourself. What I'm saying is that you have to choose the path that suits you based on your own situation and your own character. If you find that he really makes you unbearable, and that the things he does are getting more and more outrageous, and there is no way to reconcile, then I think that even if it's hard to live on your own in the future, we have to bite the bullet and get through it. It's better than letting yourself get hurt so badly like this. You know, you have to feel good about yourself first to be able to deal with everything.

It's so great that you're living together! It's also good to know that you're not feeling financially secure at the moment. But don't worry, you've clearly done a lot for the family, so you're definitely not inferior to him. It's so important to stand up straight in this respect and use your wisdom to talk to him in a way that he can understand. Of course, you need to be careful not to provoke his violent temper and make him throw things. Our goal is to make life better, not to trigger his violent temper.

Life is all yours, and your confusion is something many of us can relate to. Some of these issues are more intense than others, but we all have to navigate them in marriage. It's like they say, there's a seven-year itch! Don't be afraid, embrace your potential, and learn as much as you can about these challenges. You've got this!

I really hope you and your little one are happy together! And I really hope your little family can live in harmony and beauty!

Hello, my name is Strawberry!

I just want to give you a big hug because I can see how troubled you are. I can understand why you want to get married. It's natural to want to find someone you can rely on. But it seems like your husband doesn't give you that. Instead, he seems to have a bad temper and a lot of grievances.

It's amazing how much you can learn about someone in two years! Now that you're pregnant, you're starting to see his true colors. It's natural to feel like your marriage is on shaky ground when you're facing these challenges.

You've thought about making some compromises, but you also know that it's not a long-term solution. You deserve better! Ask yourself these questions:

What kind of future do you want, sweetheart?

Everyone has dreams for their lives, and you're no exception! In the two years since you married your husband, things haven't gone quite as you imagined. You've tried your best to make things work, but your husband hasn't realized that he needs to make changes. His personality seems closely related to his upbringing.

I'm not sure what your current pregnancy month is, and I don't know what your plans are for this unborn child. I truly believe that children of single parents can also be happy, but it will be very hard to take care of them. This is something the original poster needs to think about. Of course, judging from the current situation, your husband is unable to give the child a good family atmosphere, which will also have a significant impact on the child's future growth.

So, after thinking about what's best for you as an adult, it's really important to think about what's best for your child too. After all, your child will form an attachment with the person they spend the most time with, and that's you! If your child feels safe, loved and like their needs are being met, they'll form a secure attachment.

2. I know it's tough, but are you brave enough to face your own choices?

I know it's a tough decision, but I really hope you can find the path that's right for you. If you choose to stay, that's great! And if you choose to leave, that's okay too. Either way, you deserve to live your best life. Don't let anyone or anything make you feel like you have to suppress yourself or accommodate others just because of external factors. That's not a life anyone should have to live. You're worthy of happiness, and you deserve to find it.

I know it might be tough at first, but if you have no regrets and the courage to face it, give yourself some time. You can get out of this deep circle you're in.

I really hope my answer helps the original poster. Sending lots of love!

Hello. I am a psychological counselor, Jiusi, and I am confident my answer will be helpful to you.

I am truly sorry for your situation. You have been putting yourself second for the sake of your children, and such a husband and such a life have made you want to escape.

There are a few important steps in our lives: going to school, working, getting married, and having children.

Marriage is a crucial aspect of life. I am unaware of the circumstances that led to the OP and your husband getting married.

Tell me, have you ever been in love?

The situation is unacceptable. You are pregnant and financially dependent on your husband.

You don't know what to do either.

The best thing for the questioner to do is have a good talk with her husband. She needs to tell him how she feels and see if he improves. If he is willing, that would be the best situation.

Changing a person's character is difficult, but if he is willing, there are many ways for counselors to help.

If the other person is not willing to change, we must consider our options carefully. First, we need to determine the child's age. If it is only pregnant, we must decide whether to have an abortion. While it is difficult, we must remember that a child cannot thrive in a family without love.

If the child is already older, then you should definitely consider whether you have any external resources, such as your family, to help you get through this period. You should also see if your husband will change for the sake of the child, which is definitely a possibility.

My husband will change. We will all be happy and live a blissful life.

If my husband doesn't change, we will improve ourselves silently and give ourselves time to adjust to the next step.

The root cause of any problem we encounter that we cannot handle is that we are not strong enough. I have a piece of advice for the questioner: becoming better is the key to solving all problems.

I am confident that my answer will be helpful to the questioner. I am certain that the questioner will overcome their current confusion soon.

Thank you for your time. I am Jiusi, on Yixinli, and I love you.