Almost 30 years old, a new job brings serious anxiety, what to do?

Best of luck, host!

Hi, I'm letmefly. I'm here to help and I'd love to hear your thoughts.

The host has just changed jobs, the working environment is unfamiliar, the new position requires high skills, and there is fierce competition among colleagues. I empathize with the host's anxiety, so I'll send them a virtual hug.

The host is currently facing two options: persevere or switch careers.

First, I think it's important for the host to consider whether it's really impossible to continue with this job or if there's still hope that they can support their family through the host's hard work and getting along with colleagues. If so, I don't think avoiding the problem is the solution. No matter where you go, there will always be a period of adjustment and growing pains.

But if the host really feels like this new job isn't sustainable, it might be time to consider a change. I also suggest that the host switch to a field they're familiar with, even if the salary is lower, so that they can at least get by until they get established.

Then, in your free time, you could look into this art or writing. Once you've got a good grasp on it, you might want to think about changing jobs.

I hope this helps, and I look forward to hearing your thoughts, as well as your likes and follows.

Hello, I can see you standing at a crossroads, looking left and right, hesitant to move forward. I can also see your attachment to your past work, your state of mind, looking both forward and backward, and your worries about your family and your future life. Because life is indeed not easy, we have made great efforts with every choice, but the results are often unsatisfactory. You need to break free from anxiety. You need to calm your mind. You need to focus on the present. You need to observe your emotions. You need to take 10-20 minutes every day to practice and improve your concentration. You need to take control of your life.

It's okay. Life is full of disappointments, and success is the exception.

I understand you. It feels like everything is so difficult right now. It's hard to find a good job, and it's even harder to find a job that suits you. Even if you find the right job, relationships are a big problem. Where there are people, there are relationships, and there is competition and scheming. And in order to survive, we sometimes have to let go of our pride, let go of our self-esteem, and swallow our anger. When we encounter narrow-minded superiors and colleagues who can't tell right from wrong, our work becomes even more difficult. It feels like life is against me at every turn, and I even ask: Why should I live like this?

A philosopher once said it best: anxiety is a protective mechanism for us humans. When we feel insecure about the external environment and are unfamiliar with external things, we will feel anxious. At the same time, anxiety also means that we have hope for the future. Because what we are anxious about are all the things that will happen in the future, and things that have not yet happened are all imagined by the brain.

You need to break free from anxiety.

First, you need to calm your mind. The future hasn't happened yet, so live in the present. Close your eyes and do mindfulness meditation. Don't think about anything, just focus on your breathing. See how long you can last. Practice for 10-20 minutes every day to improve your concentration.

2. Observe your emotions. When anxiety strikes, ask yourself, "Has it really happened? Is it just my imagination?"

I will identify my concerns and consider the worst-case scenario.

And even if the worst happens, you'll see it's not a big deal.

3. Exercise is the best way to relieve anxiety. When you're in a bad mood, get moving. Exercise will make you feel happy.

4. Set a goal for yourself every day and do one or two things that will make you happy.

Every job is not easy, and you need to manage it well. The same goes for relationships and marriage. If something goes wrong at work, you must learn to block it out, rather than amplifying it or keeping it in your heart. This will not only drain your energy, but also exhaust you both physically and mentally.

Anxiety is a kind of negative energy that can infect others. When you are anxious, your anxiety will be infectious to your family and colleagues. There's no doubt about it: nobody wants to be around someone who is anxious and grumpy all day long. Interpersonal relationships are very delicate. Only when you are happy can you be motivated to do things, and you can attract better opportunities.

You are young, and there are many opportunities and choices in life. Empty your anxious mind and let joy in at any time. You will discover that there are surprises everywhere in life.

I am confident that this will be helpful to you.

Hello, host. I am answering this question because I have had similar experiences and have also noticed the coincidences in life. Despite the distance between us, our situations seem to have a lot in common.

I have been in the workplace for ten years, and each job has lasted about three years. I resigned from my last job because I felt there might be room for improvement in terms of career prospects and the various departments in the company were working at cross-purposes. I have just started my sixth month at my new company, and I am still in the trial period.

The new team boss has high expectations, the colleagues are very capable, and the pressure is also quite intense. It seems that the boss also fosters a competitive atmosphere.

I worked hard for the first four months and achieved some results, although they were still not up to my boss's expectations. I began to realize that this job, which I am used to and which pays well, may not be the best fit for me, given my strengths and interests.

If I continue in this role, I may not be able to progress to the next level. I'm approaching my thirties, have two children, and in the long run, I may not be able to take care of everyone. After a comprehensive assessment, I submitted my resignation this month.

This career has presented me with a great deal of pressure. While pain is a common occurrence, I have found that the growth and changes it has brought me, especially in terms of thinking and mindset, have been of profound value.

I believe it is those happy memories that help us heal, while it is the pain that allows us to break through and grow.

I empathize with your situation and can relate to the feelings of helplessness and confusion that you're experiencing.

It's not difficult to make a choice, but perhaps it would be helpful to take a moment to reflect on whether this is truly the best option for you. Is the difficulty you're facing truly the case?

Could we perhaps consider whether we are truly powerless to overcome these challenges? And whether we are willing to simply lie down and give up?

In the past two months, I have come to understand that it is sometimes helpful to approach difficulties with a degree of flexibility and a willingness to consider different perspectives. When dealing with personal anxiety, it can be beneficial to reflect on one's own needs and goals, while also being mindful of the actions that may be most conducive to achieving them.

It would be beneficial to learn to communicate effectively with colleagues and superiors. This could help to reduce any competitive atmosphere that may arise.

If I might offer one more piece of advice, it would be to prioritize. If work is a necessity, it may be helpful to gently remind yourself that those thoughts about writing and artistic creation that pop up should be ignored. If you feel like giving up your job to pursue what you're good at and like, it might be beneficial to consider taking risks, seeking support, and embracing the uncertainty of the future.

Dear, From the expression of your question, it seems you may have studied a great deal of psychology. Many of the words you use are very professional. Recently, I have also learned two words: "Are you sure?" and "It will all pass." Perhaps we could encourage each other?

As a career planner with 22 years of cross-industry management consulting experience, I will answer the original poster's question in brief.

Anxiety is an emotion. It is a problem with our hearts.

We can't change the times or the views of those around us, but we can change ourselves by adjusting our frequency.

First, you must be self-aware to understand the source of your anxiety.

I am going to find out where my anxiety comes from and why I am anxious.

Then ask yourself: What can I do to avoid anxiety? Use yoga, meditation, and other forms of spiritual healing to listen to the voice within and find out what you really want.

2. Clarify your self-growth system and don't compare yourself with others.

Don't let the achievements of others define your goals. There's more to life than a superficial view of success.

A person with a million-dollar annual salary may be successful in their career, but their family is no more or less happy than yours.

Don't view your classmates, colleagues, or fellow villagers as your imaginary rivals. Instead, return to your own heart and imagine: five years, ten years from now, what kind of life do you want to lead?

I need to make preparations to live this kind of life. I will make more breakthroughs in my professional abilities.

Break your big goals down into small, achievable steps. You'll have the motivation to complete each step, and before you know it, you'll have achieved your goal.

Third, accept your limitations and imperfections.

The world is home to 5.7 billion people. A few will become billionaires, scientific giants, best-selling authors, and celebrities. Some will grow up with a silver spoon in their mouths.

But how many people can stand at the top of the pyramid? The answer is clear: the vast majority of people in the world must learn to accept that they are just ordinary members of the crowd.

You earn 100,000 yuan a year, he earns 500,000. You graduated from a local university, he from Tsinghua or Peking University. You work for an Internet company, he works for a P6 company, he works for a P8 company. When you compare these things to the universe and the long course of history, they are all just clouds.

Your heart is small when the gap is magnified. Make it magnified when your heart is small.

4. All in the present.

Look at things from a different perspective. Observe the growth of flowers and plants in nature more often and develop your powers of observation and awareness.

Spend more time with your family. Talk to them, have fun, and work together to fulfill a family member's wish.

Caring about helping the disadvantaged and feeling the difficulty of life will make you appreciate the happiness you have now even more.

The future is uncertain, so live in the present and enjoy the journey.

5. Change your way of thinking.

Anxious people are wrong to think the world is complicated. They magnify their fear of the unknown indefinitely, but they are wrong.

To avoid anxiety, we must examine our thinking patterns and emotional habits, especially the conditioned reflexes formed during childhood, and avoid extreme thinking of all or nothing.

People should experience more hardships, become more knowledgeable, and understand that one cause can have multiple results. This will prevent them from getting stuck in a rut. For example, sayings like "Where there's a will, there's a way," "Hard work pays off," and "Good deeds will be rewarded" are not necessarily true. Sometimes it takes time—the time is not right—and sometimes it requires the cooperation of other conditions.

6. Explore the many possibilities of life.

The term "slash youth" has become popular over the past two years. It comes from the English word "slash," which is from the book "Double Career" by New York Times columnist Ma Rike·'er Bo. It refers to people who are no longer satisfied with the "single occupation" lifestyle and choose to have a diverse life with multiple occupations and identities.

It encourages people to develop their other interests and abilities outside their regular work. A software company coder can become an online writer after work. An accountant can be a game host on a live streaming platform during business hours. A receptionist with a monthly salary of 3,000-4,000 yuan can earn 5-6 times that amount as a personal shopper.

Expand your abilities by trying different fields. You never know what you're capable of until you try. Find what you really like and are good at.

When a workplace crisis strikes, we will be ready. We will know exactly what to do because we have the confidence to handle any situation.

Happy!

If you're confused at work, come talk to me or follow the WeChat account: Career Planner Vin.

From what I can see from the description, it seems like the emotions are anxiety, including age anxiety and work anxiety.

From a scientific standpoint, anxiety is simply an emotion—a fear of the unknown.

In terms of age anxiety, every age has its own unique characteristics. The 20s are young and inexperienced, while the 30s are mature.

Every stage of life is meaningful, and that's what makes life complete.

I also had some work-related anxiety when I first started working.

During that period, I was rejected and criticized by my boss every day, and I doubted myself for a while, with a low sense of accomplishment. Later, I learned from Kevin Tsai's EQ class that work is only a part of life, and that in addition to earning a living, work should also create value.

Think about it this way. I'll then look for the meaning of work and do a better job.

Instead of dealing with various interpersonal issues.

Some people still think my emotional intelligence is low. I believe it can be learned, as long as it doesn't create obstacles in life or at work.

I just laugh it off and don't let it bother me.

Maybe it's because I care more about my own feelings and opinions and don't care about other people's opinions and attitudes. In fact, I understand some of their thoughts.

I decided to be true to myself.

During that period, I created a clear and achievable work plan, taking things one step at a time without rushing, and built a solid foundation.

As a result, my performance improved, and I became the most stable and high-quality graphic designer. It's possible that luck played a role.

Everyone has their own wins and losses. We learn from our mistakes so we can succeed.

Competence and interpersonal relationships are key in the workplace. If you have a solid foundation in competence, you'll be fine. If not, you can always ask your colleagues who perform well for advice.

Interpersonal relationships require a lot of communication and learning. I had a lot of trouble with interpersonal relationships because I wasn't very good at communicating.

Later on, I learned to communicate effectively, which wasn't a particularly valuable experience.

Later on, I switched to a department I liked and a career I liked because I knew I couldn't do the same job forever.

This is the career I want to keep studying and working on. Even though I've been working in this career for more than a year, I still see it as a foundation-building stage.

I'd also recommend doing something soothing and happy. It's ok to cry if you need to, just let some emotions out.

I'm sure you'll feel much better.

It's also a good idea to keep a record of how you're feeling each day and look back on it.