Always self-blame, always seeing myself as an enemy, it's so painful, what can I do?

Hello. We will encounter difficulties on the road to growth and doubt ourselves, but we must learn to reconcile with ourselves. I once read in a book that a person's greatest enemy is oneself.

At first, I was convinced this was true. I believed that if you overcome yourself, you will have no fear, no worries, and you can go forward without hindrance. But after experiencing many things, I realized how wrong it is to be your own enemy.

If you defeat yourself, you defeat the original self. As a loser, you have to bear the weight of it all the time. How can a defeated self do what is good and right? If something goes wrong with one part of yourself as a whole, it will inevitably have a knock-on effect, causing a series of problems.

Don't make yourself your enemy. Reconcile with yourself.

This reconciliation is not a conscious attempt to bring oneself down. It is an acceptance and understanding that comes from knowing the truth of life and from loving oneself.

You must learn to make peace if you want to love yourself and love life. If you want to become stronger, you must learn to make peace with yourself. The most important thing is not to attack yourself. As you grow in life, you must learn not to attack your ego. If you keep attacking yourself, you will never reconcile with your inner self.

Self-attack is a rejection of the self. It is also a denial and acceptance of the self. Learning to let go of self-loathing is the way to understand the process and nature of life from a practical perspective.

These attacks on the self do great harm to ourselves and affect the richness of our lives. True inner strength comes from our acceptance and acceptance of ourselves.

If we do not accept and recognize ourselves, we will not see ourselves as unique. The essence of life is not repetition; it is uniqueness.

No matter how unhappy you were growing up, what difficulties you face, or what illness you have, you have every right to live your life as you choose. Perfection is not the essence of life; it is fragmentation. Moving forward with a fragmented life and improving yourself with self-awareness can bring you the greatest richness and allow you to embrace a new world of yourself.

Internal and external attributions are just a way of attributing things. The difference is whether you take the blame or blame someone else.

We can't just blame things on internal or external causes.

If you find the reason, it's easy to fall into the trap of thinking it's fate and there's nothing you can do.

You feel resentful and think you're useless, bad at everything, average, and self-confident. You blame yourself when you feel like you're not good enough.

When you feel bad about yourself, you start to blame yourself.

Then you can't tell what's real and what's imagined.

Maybe you were blamed a lot when you were growing up. This can change if you learn to be more self-aware.

Ask yourself:

What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?

What are my goals?

Can I achieve this goal?

What can I do to improve?

How can I improve these abilities?

Think about these questions intuitively.

Teacher comments and grades are a way to evaluate yourself. They are based on what others see and test results.

You can only evaluate your own process.

Did I get this grade because I studied hard or because it was easy?

Did I do my homework right?

Do I have the energy to do more exercises?

Do my good subjects match my interests?

Do I really not know this subject, or am I just making mistakes?

How did I make these mistakes? How can I avoid them?

...

If results aren't ideal, adjust your expectations.

There are small steps between your goal and taking action. Complete these steps one by one to feel more accomplished.

Good luck!

Greetings,

The host

My name is Zeng Chen, and I am a mindfulness coach. I have carefully read the post and, first and foremost, I empathize with the pain you are experiencing as a result of internal attribution.

Furthermore, it is notable that the host has now confronted their inner self with courage and resolve, which is a commendable and noteworthy achievement. Engaging in active seeking of assistance on the platform will undoubtedly facilitate a deeper understanding of the host's inner self, enabling them to make necessary adjustments.

Subsequently, I will present my observations and thoughts on the subject, which may assist the reader in viewing themselves from a more diverse perspective.

1. What are the underlying causes of the pain associated with internal attribution?

As observed in the aforementioned post, the host consistently ascribes causality to themselves, a phenomenon that has been linked to significant distress. This raises an important question: Why does internal attribution lead to such profound suffering?

It can be reasonably deduced that introspection itself is not the source of discomfort; rather, it is the excessive introspection that causes distress. Moderate introspection, on the other hand, facilitates a more nuanced understanding of one's shortcomings and a deeper self-awareness.

Furthermore, excessive internal attribution is frequently accompanied by self-negation and self-attack. This kind of self-attack can significantly impair mental health and erode self-confidence.

It is therefore pertinent to question whether it is possible to experience sadness in the absence of such external influences. It may be argued that the constant pressure and negation experienced by the individual ultimately leads to a state of emotional distress.

One can posit how one would feel if one were to be subjected to a constant barrage of criticism. From certain vantage points, self-criticism is arguably one of the most punishing forms of condemnation.

Consequently, when we engage in this behaviour, we cause harm to ourselves and deplete our energy reserves, leaving us with insufficient resources to pursue self-improvement.

2. Conduct a review of your own growth and examine the manner in which this kind of internal attribution was shaped.

In the original post, the author indicated that it is challenging for them to evaluate their abilities, and that they tend to judge their capabilities based on test scores and teacher evaluations. Without a self-assessment tool, it is difficult to make an objective evaluation.

From these words, it can be surmised that the original poster has not yet established an objective internal evaluation system.

Thus, it is possible to examine together the origins of one's self-perception from a psychological standpoint. The upbringing in one's early years is likely to exert a considerable influence on one's subsequent self-perception.

As children, we lacked the capacity to recognize ourselves, necessitating feedback from our caregivers, educators, and the surrounding environment to gain self-awareness.

At this juncture, feedback becomes of paramount importance. One can readily postulate the consequences of a nurturer offering disapproval, denial, or attributing one's characteristics to oneself.

It seems probable that this relationship pattern will be internalized and applied in future interactions.

Another factor is the parenting and educational style of the nurturer and educator. In the current era, many nurturers express conditional love for their children, approving, liking, and accepting them only when the children perform certain actions. Failure to perform these actions may result in rejection or punishment, leading to the internalization of the belief that the problem lies within the child and that they are unlikable.

3. Cultivate the ability to provide oneself with nurturance.

Once an individual becomes aware that they may have some psychological issues, this represents the initial stage of change. The host observed that he attributes certain events to himself, which causes him distress. However, this distress also serves to stimulate reflection on the self, prompting an examination of the underlying causes of these feelings.

This process undoubtedly provides the opportunity to gain a deeper understanding of oneself and to make necessary corrections.

In the preceding section, we examined the potential causes of internal attributions. Once these causes have been identified, what steps can be taken to address them?

Given that our development is shaped by past experiences, it is reasonable to inquire whether we can achieve a different self by reshaping ourselves in the present. It is essential to recognize that we are currently adults.

Those with the requisite ability and resources are capable of assuming responsibility for their own lives, their own needs, and their own emotions. They are likewise able to engage in self-nurturance.

In light of the fact that we are shaped by the beliefs of our upbringing, it becomes evident that we must learn to adjust these beliefs. Through the process of learning, we can nurture ourselves.

4. Cultivate an awareness of and commitment to self-care.

It is imperative to engage in self-care as a means of facilitating the process of self-rearing. The host may wish to undertake a detailed observation of the parents of happier children in their immediate vicinity.

In particular, what actions do parents typically take in response to their child's injury? An examination of contemporary scientific approaches to child-rearing may provide insight into this question.

This may assist in facilitating more effective self-care practices.

One can posit that if one were to imagine oneself in the situation of caring for a child, one might consider how one would comfort them. This exercise can be used as a tool for re-nurturing oneself.

Furthermore, it is essential to understand that the objective is not self-negation, but rather the practice of self-care.

Our own self-inflicted suffering is frequently the final factor that leads to our breakdown. Conversely, nurturing ourselves with care and compassion provides us with the resilience to persevere.

It is my hope that these will prove somewhat helpful and inspiring to you. Should you require further assistance, I would encourage you to consider learning some psychology, which I believe will prove beneficial for you.

Should any further questions arise, one may also click to find a coach for one-on-one communication, thus facilitating a deeper exploration of the self and a more profound understanding of one's own being.

Give the original poster a big hug! I can feel that the original poster has begun to realize "how to have the right self-awareness, which is to accept the whole of yourself."

We're all imperfect, and that's okay! We all have our own unique strengths and weaknesses.

"After many failures," the host can still be "so ordinary and yet so confident." This is actually an adjustment, which is a great thing!

I used to think I was awesome, and I still am! After a few failures, our confidence value dropped a bit, and we started to re-evaluate ourselves.

The great news is that everyone's correct perception of themselves is gradually formed through repeated highs and lows, which is the norm in life.

So, what is affecting the poster's current emotions? It's mainly the "irrational beliefs" at work!

1. Generalization: I'm learning to love myself despite my shortcomings. I'm not perfect, but I'm getting better at accepting my flaws and embracing my strengths.

2. Inappropriate assessment methods: I find it difficult to evaluate my own abilities, and I always judge my ability level based on test scores and teacher evaluations. But I'm working on it!

3. The worst idea: I believed that I was really bad at everything. But I was wrong!

I don't think the host is really bad at everything. There must be other ways to assess their abilities apart from academic performance and teacher evaluations!

What do your classmates think? What do your parents think? And guess what? The evaluation system is actually dynamic! Just because you didn't do well on this test doesn't mean you'll never do well again.

If your abilities are really that poor, then how did you get good grades in the past?

Absolutely! They can be improved through one's own efforts.

In fact, these ideas all need to be examined for their authenticity. Even if they are true at the moment, what about the future? There are still many exciting, uncertain factors to discover!

I highly recommend the "Johanari Window" to help you understand yourself better. The host can look at this aspect more comprehensively:

1. You know, others know: the open area, which expresses parts of the true self

2. You know it, but others don't: the hidden zone. Everyone has their own secrets!

3. You don't know, but others do: the blind spot, which is a fantastic way to help you improve your comprehensive self-awareness!

4. You don't know, and no one else knows: the unknown zone, a personal potential zone that can be discovered slowly over time. This is where the magic happens!

The host was brimming with confidence at the outset, but after taking a few exams and receiving feedback from the teacher, he's now even more determined to succeed!

It's time to let go of the "shoulds" and relax the rules for ourselves! We need to accept our imperfect selves and embrace the journey.

"I should always come first in class" becomes "I can sometimes come first in class."

When you relax your demands on yourself a little, you'll be amazed at how much better you feel!

Even if you attribute the mistake to yourself, you will still have the opportunity to reorganize yourself and continue setting off!

So, instead of wasting energy on unrealistic obsessions, it's time to relax the rules a little and accept your own imperfections!

Then, find that gap between reality and the goal and keep moving forward!

I don't know. But I'm excited to find out! In what ways has the host discovered a slight gap between his abilities and his ideals? If there is one, you can use the GPS method to plan a way to improve yourself.

1. Confirm the goal: For the next month or quarter, what goal do I need to achieve, as specific as possible?

2. Confirm your current position: What state am I in? Find the actual gap with the goal

3. Make a plan and achieve some small goals! It's not easy to achieve big results overnight, but you can take small steps forward and set yourself small goals along the way. Once you achieve a goal, give yourself a reward and keep moving forward!

In terms of learning, there are so many up-owners on Bilibili or Xiaohongshu who will introduce you to amazing, efficient learning methods! You can find a method that suits you, persist in repeated training, and in time, you will achieve the goal you want to accomplish.

Of course, life has always been like this, repeating itself over and over again. And that's a good thing! It is impossible to always be successful, and it is also impossible to always be in a low ebb. But that just means there's room for improvement!

And the reflection space of each individual is planned by the upper line of the highlight moment and the lower line of the low moment.

The larger the space, the higher the maturity of the whole person, the more comprehensive the perspective on things, and the more complete the self-awareness will become!

So, there's no need to worry! There's still a long way to go in life. We don't judge heroes based on one moment in time. Even if you get accepted into the best university, there's no guarantee that the future will be smooth sailing. But that's OK! The meaning of living is to gain a deeper understanding of yourself from the time you open your eyes to the time you close them, and to make yourself better and better. And you will meet a better version of yourself!

Hello, questioner! I'm excited to help you with your question!

Embrace yourself! It's a journey that unfolds with every new discovery about yourself.

Let's dive into the fascinating world of science!

Freud had an amazing theory about the human personality. He believed that it is made up of three parts: the id, the superego, and the ego.

The ego is the subconscious ideology, representing the original process of thought. It is the most primitive, instinctual desires of man, and it's fascinating to see how they manifest in our minds!

The superego is the controller in the personality structure, governed by the principle of perfection and belonging to the moral part of the personality structure. It is located at the top of the personality structure and is the moralized self. It is internalized from social norms, ethics, and values. Its formation is the result of socialization. The superego follows moral principles and has three functions: first, it suppresses the impulses of the id; second, it monitors the self; and third, it pursues the realm of perfection.

In Freud's fascinating theory, the superego is the internalization of the father figure and cultural norms. Due to conflicts with the object, the superego boldly takes a stand against the primitive desires of the id and is assertive towards the ego.

This is the part of the personality that evaluates oneself through the environment in society. It's a fascinating process that allows us to differentiate from the id.

The ego is an amazing psychological component of the personality that gradually differentiates from the id and is located in the middle layer of the personality structure. Its main function is to regulate the conflict between the id and the superego. It regulates the id on the one hand and is subject to the superego on the other.

The ego is the hero of our story! It follows the principle of reality and satisfies the demands of the id in a reasonable way. It also regulates itself and its environment.

In short, self-awareness is the existence and awakening of the self—and it's an amazing thing!

By thinking about and exploring your actions and thoughts, and finding solutions, you can [self-regulate] the conflict between the id and the superego—and you can do it!

The superego is our inner coach, helping us adapt to changes in the environment. The needs of the id are unique to each of us and deserve our attention. Self-awareness is the key to becoming our best selves in the current environment.

How can I embrace my true self and love myself just as I am?

▫️The great news is that you can improve your self-awareness and learn to accept yourself better just by practicing day after day!

There are so many amazing ways to do this! You can try meditation, writing down important events and feelings that make you feel strongly, and learning more about psychology.

▫️The subconscious part of the brain is lightning fast! It reacts in a flash, much faster than the conscious part. The most common example is "the mouth is faster than the brain." So, if we want to understand what misconceptions we have in our subconscious, the way to do it is to slow down and become aware of what our true needs are and how we satisfy them.

▫️There is no good or bad in needs. Needs need to be met and responded to. What makes us feel ashamed and unable to face and accept is often the inappropriate ways and methods we use to respond to and meet our inner needs. But there's no need to worry! As long as we can try to find better and appropriate ways and methods to respond to our needs, our needs will better stimulate our life energy.

You may be condemning your past performance because of some frustrating experiences, but there are always two sides to a story! The same trait or approach can have different effects in different situations or events. This means that you are not bad—you are learning and growing!

If you really want to say it's bad, it's only relative. But here's the good news: if something doesn't go well, it's only because we haven't made a clear judgment or understanding of the situation, or there's a big gap between our abilities and our goals. And that means there's plenty of room for improvement!

I'm a big brain hole, and I love it! Thanks for reading, and thanks for being part of my world.

Greetings,

Upon seeing the title and opening the question folder, I was drawn to the 118 views, 8 hugs, and 10 answers.

From my perspective, it seems like you're trying to respond to them. It's important to recognize and celebrate your achievements, even if they may not seem significant to you at the time.

Ordinary people inhabit the earth poetically, embracing their self-confidence.

You came to the conclusion that "I myself am my own worst enemy," which I feel is a rather heartbreaking sentence. I would even go so far as to say that words like "slap in the face" are akin to reading the comments on a video, taking the words of the onlookers seriously.

If "self" is the one causing obstacles to "self," it would be beneficial to consider how "self" is formed. It is possible that "self" may have originated from the incubation and domestication of the original family.

It is possible that what you perceive as "yourself" may actually be shaped by the expectations of others. These expectations could be intense, complex, and challenging to differentiate between right and wrong, potentially leading to confusion and distress.

Perhaps "self" could benefit from sifting through the soil and washing away the dust, with a willingness to wipe it away diligently every day, so that one day it may see the halo.

If I might humbly offer a suggestion, perhaps this could be rephrased as: "If you walk out of the dark forest, you will definitely welcome the dawn. So don't look back."

If I might humbly offer an additional thought, even in the darkness, one can find solace in solitude. It is possible to emerge from the shadows and break free from the confines of one's own self, as well as the entanglements of one's original family.

"Without arguing about the morning and evening, looking far into the future" - confronting the challenges that lie ahead will ultimately empower you to embrace the opportunities that await. That is when you are truly yourself, and you will offer yourself a genuine compliment and acceptance.

Regardless of whether those who have caused you harm in the past are still around, you will no longer be afraid.

The incredible writer Hu Yinmeng once said, "At the top of human nature, self-denial and doubt are ever-present."

Embrace your unique talents and abilities! You may feel that you can't do things well, but with a positive attitude and a little practice, you can succeed. Don't be too hard on yourself — celebrate your achievements and recognize your potential.

Sometimes, we need to deny ourselves a little to overcome problems. But if we deny ourselves too much, we can end up feeling mentally depleted and even developing psychological problems.

Sometimes what seems to be a problem with our abilities is actually caused by something else! It's called rumination, which is when we think about and dwell on past unpleasant experiences. This can cause us to have unreasonable beliefs and negative automatic thoughts. But there's good news! We can change this pattern.

The original poster can try to accept themselves and not be swayed by emotions. This is the key to breaking free from that vicious cycle! They should become proactive, discover their hobbies and strengths, try to amplify their passions, find confidence in them, and not care too much about what other people think. Life is for you to live! Try to develop independent thinking and character, and if you are determined, you will not be swayed by external things.

If you're feeling overwhelmed, don't hesitate to reach out to a mental health professional. They can provide guidance and support to help you navigate your challenges. By working with a professional, you can take proactive steps to improve your physical and mental health, avoid avoidance, and tackle difficulties with a positive outlook.

I really hope this helps! Best of luck! You can be a better version of yourself!

Good day, host. My name is July.

After reviewing your description, I have a better understanding of the question you wish to ask. In addition, I extend my support in the four-dimensional space.

From your description, I can discern that you are experiencing significant self-doubt, which is why you tend to rely on internal attribution. This approach may inadvertently lead to a lack of action on your part. In light of these observations, I extend my support and encouragement for your resilience in facing challenges and seeking assistance through social media platforms. Additionally, I offer my approval for your efforts.

Some of the issues you have highlighted have been experienced by many individuals, albeit to varying degrees. Therefore, there is no need for undue concern at this stage, as you are now aware of the nature of the challenge. With this awareness, you will be better positioned to identify and implement solutions.

Let us now turn our attention to the reasons for internal attribution. The first reason is that individuals who are adept at self-reflection tend to ascribe a significant number of failures to themselves.

The second reason is that individuals who are easily influenced are more likely to attribute failures to internal factors. The third reason is that individuals with pessimistic personalities are more likely to attribute failures to internal factors.

In this regard, I have also summarized some methods to help alleviate the current situation, and I hope they prove useful.

(1) It is advisable to use less internal attribution, as doing so may result in a lack of confidence and a disadvantageous position.

(2) It would be beneficial to consider external factors when attributing outcomes, rather than focusing on internal factors alone.

(3) It is advisable to maintain a constant tolerance for your own shortcomings and strive to reconcile with them, in order to gain a deeper understanding of your own capabilities.

(4) It is recommended that you provide yourself with more positive self-suggestions as a means of consistently encouraging yourself and enhancing your confidence.

(5) It is also beneficial to love and recognize yourself appropriately, as this will have a positive impact on your current situation.

The world and I wish you success.

I wish you the best of luck.

Hello, question asker!

People who tend to internalize things may benefit from developing greater self-discipline and high self-expectations. However, when they internalize things, they may tend to focus on their shortcomings, which can make it challenging to recognize the positive aspects of their actions. This can lead to feelings of self-criticism, which can hinder self-development and physical and mental health. Adjusting our perspective on internalization can help us better accept and appreciate ourselves.

How might we find ways to please and accept ourselves? The following suggestions are offered for your consideration:

(1) When you find yourself dwelling on negative thoughts, it can be helpful to ask yourself the same questions you're asking.

For example, "I dislike myself for feeling so useless, for lacking abilities, and for being ignorant." At this juncture, you might consider asking yourself, "Am I truly without abilities?"

Could it be that everything is not really bad? I believe that may be the case. We should be able to do many things well, and the only thing we may not be able to do well at the moment is something.

Perhaps it would be beneficial to avoid denying ourselves entirely just because something didn't go well. It's possible that a "black-and-white" mindset might prevent us from seeing our own strengths and achievements, and this could be worth considering.

(2) Consider letting go of perfectionism.

If we feel that everything must achieve the results we imagine, even if we achieve 80%, we may still feel disappointed. Perhaps this is an opportunity to consider changing our way of thinking.

"While this outcome differs from my initial expectations, I am grateful that it has unfolded in this way." Adopting this perspective can foster a sense of contentment and positivity.

It is possible to strive for perfection while also accepting imperfection.

(3) Try to be a good parent to yourself.

It's not uncommon to find ourselves blaming ourselves internally. This can often be a result of having internalized our parents' strict demands on us, which may have shaped our behavior as children. Now that we're adults, we have the opportunity to strive to become the ideal parents: good parents full of warmth, encouragement, and self-compassion.

(4) It may be helpful to consider what kind of person you would like to become.

Test scores and teacher comments may offer insight into how others perceive us, and they may also reflect aspects of our true selves. However, it's important to remember that "what kind of person do I want to be?" is the driving force behind our personal growth. It can serve as a continuous source of motivation for us to strive to become better versions of ourselves.

As your self-affirmation ability increases, you may find that the judgment of others becomes less important.

It is my hope that my answer will be a source of inspiration for you.

I wish you the best.

Hello, I am Xin Tan, your coach Fei Yun. I will be your companion on this journey, offering a warm and sincere ear to your emotional story.

You may feel a deep sense of self-blame, but what is really behind it is your lack of self-confidence, self-denial, self-doubt, and the need to prove yourself in everything you do.

Let's start with a warm embrace, and then we can take a look at what's on your mind.

Everyone has their own unique patterns.

It is therefore understandable that different upbringings, different educations and different outlooks lead to each of us having our own inherent patterns, which we bring into our various relationships.

For instance, your inclination to seek internal explanations before external ones is commendable. It contrasts with the tendency to look for external causes and explanations, often attributing everything to external factors and others. Internal attribution is a valuable approach because it acknowledges our role as the primary determinant of our circumstances.

It might be helpful to remember that internal attribution is not the same as self-denial or self-doubt. It can be a way of taking responsibility for one's own part in a problem.

I believe the reason why these patterns become fixed is mainly because they have protected us well in the past. As you said, you also look for reasons from the outside, but the facts can be quite confronting, so in order not to be face-slapped by the facts, you can only find reasons from your own "poor ability" to protect yourself.

While you may not be confronted with the harsh reality of the situation, you may still experience a sense of low self-worth and an inferiority complex.

Perhaps if you were to take a moment to observe your own internal attribution, which might be described as a tendency to doubt and negate your own abilities, you would realize that this is a pattern that you have the power to change.

? 2. Some suggestions on how to boost self-confidence

One might say that confidence is having faith in oneself and being full of confidence in the future.

It could be said that confidence is the foundation of self-esteem, and that self-esteem is the sublimation of confidence.

A person's self-confidence is thought to be related to their self-worth, which is defined as one's subjective evaluation of oneself.

It's important to remember that this has nothing to do with other people. When we are young, if we are criticized, rejected, or blamed by our parents or other important figures, we may slowly internalize their evaluation of us. This could potentially lead to a decrease in our sense of worth, making us more sensitive and suspicious, and even developing an inferiority complex.

People who are fortunate enough to receive constant affirmation, praise, and acceptance from their parents tend to possess a high sense of worth, exude a sense of vitality, and demonstrate confidence in their actions.

As adults, we have the opportunity to be our own significant others and provide ourselves with psychological nourishment. One simple way to boost our sense of worth is to give ourselves positive feedback regularly.

It may be helpful to affirm, praise, and accept yourself.

Perhaps we could say that there is no failure, only feedback.

There are generally two types of self-confidence. One is self-confidence based on something you have achieved, which can potentially lead to arrogance. This so-called self-confidence may not be entirely genuine and could be a reflection of an underlying sense of inferiority, as it may stem from a lack of confidence in oneself as a person.

It could be said that low self-esteem arises when a person's confidence is dependent on certain factors, and when these factors disappear, it can have a significant impact on the value they place on their own lives.

Another kind of confidence is in oneself. This confidence does not depend on any external standards, but comes from within. It is unconditional and subjective. This kind of confidence is a true reflection of one's self-assurance.

3. Self-blame can evolve into a sense of responsibility.

It can be challenging to move forward when we experience the irreversible consequences of our mistakes. It's natural to feel a sense of regret or self-reflection in the face of these challenges. However, dwelling on past mistakes and self-blame can lead to feelings of self-hatred, particularly when we compare ourselves to others and feel like we're not meeting their standards.

Perhaps we could say that the essence of self-blame is an inability to accept the facts of the moment. This can lead to a confrontation with the "as is," which may not align with our expectations of what "should be." Attempting to force the "should be" (the "as is" of the past) onto the present can lead to feelings of discontent and a waste of energy.

Responsibility (self-affirmation): It is self-attribution. I am the source of everything. What have I learned from this? How might I avoid similar things from happening again? What might I do to achieve the effect I want? When you do this, the focus goes back from the past to the present or the future.

It is important to remember that the past is the past. By focusing on the present, we can create a better future. It is therefore worth considering that self-blame may not be the most productive approach to achieving the desired outcome.

Self-blame can be seen as a form of self-denial, which may result in a person confining themselves to a smaller circle.

One might suggest that responsible behavior involves self-affirmation, independence, and expansion.

In your daily life, you may wish to consider cultivating and training your ability to be mindful and loving, as well as your life force, through meditation.

I hope these words are helpful to you and to the world. I love you.

If you would like to continue the conversation, you are welcome to click "Find a coach" in the upper right corner or at the bottom. I would be delighted to communicate and grow with you one-on-one.