Always self-blame, always treating myself as an enemy, it's very painful, what should I do?

Internal and external attributions are just a common way of attributing things. The difference is whether you take the blame for things or blame it on the outside world.

We can't just automatically attribute things to internal or external causes. That doesn't necessarily help us solve problems.

And what if you find the reason? It's easy to fall into the trap of thinking that things are just down to fate, that there's no way to change them and nothing you can do about it.

Feeling resentful towards yourself – like you're useless, bad at everything, can't do anything, average and self-confident. These are all times when you find yourself "not good enough" and blame yourself.

When you feel like something about you is not so great, a voice will come out and start accusing you.

Then you get caught up in this negative voice of accusation, and you can't tell what's real and what's imagined.

Maybe this "being blamed" was reinforced a lot during your upbringing, so it's become a kind of automatic way of thinking. But you can change it by being more aware of yourself.

Take a moment to ask yourself these questions:

What are my strengths? What are my weaknesses?

What are my goals?

Is this something I can achieve with my current abilities?

What areas need the most improvement?

What can I do to improve these abilities?

When you're thinking about these questions, let another voice in your head rest for a while and think intuitively.

Academic performance and teacher comments are a good way to evaluate ourselves. These are judgments made by others based on their observations and test results.

On top of the outcome, there's also the process, which you can only assess yourself.

Was this grade the result of hard work or easier material?

- Did I do the teacher's homework right?

Do I have the energy to do more exercises?

Do the subjects I've done well in so far match my interests?

Am I really not knowing the subject I'm currently studying, or am I just making mistakes?

How did these mistakes happen, and what can I do to avoid them in the future?

...

When results aren't always ideal, you might need to adjust your expectations.

There are often a lot of small steps between where you want to be and taking action. When you complete these steps one by one, it can really boost your confidence.

Best of luck to you.

Hello!

From your description, I can see you're thinking about yourself and feeling anxious. But when you find the answer, you'll be the bravest.

What made you feel so uncomfortable and label yourself so much? When didn't you feel this way?

What did you learn then? And what made you keep looking for answers when you felt uncomfortable?

What do your friends and family think?

The questioner can use all of these resources.

The biggest enemy is oneself. But if you believe you can, you can.

The original poster was once confident, too. Something may have happened to make you doubt yourself. Life is not always smooth sailing.

Internal attributors believe they can make a difference and have a strong sense of self-worth. They can succeed when faced with difficulties.

People who blame others for their failures never look for solutions. They just ask for help and live a passive life.

Both internal and external attributions have pros and cons. The questioner needs to believe in and accept themselves more.

Psychology says we should "accept ourselves," but I feel we all have shortcomings. Should we ignore these?

"Isn't this just an excuse for laziness and lack of ambition?"

This is a common misunderstanding of self-acceptance.

Self-acceptance is about accepting all your characteristics, good and bad.

It means that a person can accept their own shortcomings without hating themselves. And what we often say, to "love yourself," must be based on self-acceptance. If a person cannot accept themselves, there is no way to establish love.

I have some suggestions for you that I hope will help you feel better.

Adjust your mindset and unify your body and mind.

If you do this every day and in every situation, your self-confidence will improve. Keeping your word means doing what you say.

Your words and actions should match. When they do, your words and emotions are in sync.

Don't doubt yourself.

Don't doubt yourself. When you doubt yourself, you feel unconfident. This makes others notice you. They may make negative comments about you.

Accept yourself!

To take action, we must accept ourselves. Otherwise, we'll waste energy fighting negative emotions.

First, accept negative thoughts and emotions. Then, focus on finishing the task. Finally, affirm yourself and your past efforts. This will help you regain your motivation.

We should tell ourselves, "Today, I am the best I can be."

④ Positive thinking

Strengthen yourself with positive thoughts and avoid negative thoughts. When you encounter difficulties, don't give up.

Tell yourself you can do it, you're great, and you can do better. Repeat these words to yourself to build confidence.

Psychological research backs this up.

The questioner can also relieve negative emotions through exercise or counseling.

Believe in yourself and encourage yourself.