Are you a stay-at-home parent with two children and becoming increasingly unstable?

Hello, host. First of all, I want to give you a warm hug. You've had a rough time, and as a mother of two, I can only imagine how much you've had to deal with. I haven't become a mother myself yet, but I can sense your frustration, sadness, and the pain of feeling misunderstood by those around you.

I've seen what the problem is, and I'd like to share a few points with you.

The host has a lot of communication-with-others-can-easily-lead-to-anxiety-depression-and-melancholy-what-should-one-do-12395.html" target="_blank">depression/there-are-many-negative-emotions-i-feel-exhausted-even-without-doing-anything-what-should-i-do-if-no-one-cares-about-my-well-being-5598.html" target="_blank">negative emotions that need to be released. If we often have a lot of negative emotions in our daily lives, get annoyed at everything, and get angry, depressed, and angry a lot, then it is likely that we have accumulated too much frustration and depression.

Right now, it's best not to try to control the situation. Let's try to release and resolve it instead.

It might help to talk to a friend or a professional mental health organization to get things off your chest.

It'd be a good idea to start working out again. You can leave the kids with...

The other half or the elderly can take care of the children, and you can find time to exercise. It's best to work up a good sweat. Exercise can make the body produce dopamine, which affects your mood and produces a feeling of euphoria and pleasure.

If we know what we need, we can figure out what's behind the negative emotions we feel. When we're angry or enraged, we can take a step back and think about what we really need.

For instance, sometimes getting angry is because your husband doesn't understand your hard work. In that case, you can communicate with him sincerely, let go of your emotions, let him understand your distress, tell him what he can do to make you happy, and let him satisfy your inner needs.

It can be tough to find yourself again after becoming a mother. Your days are often filled with the needs of your children, your husband, and sometimes even your elderly relatives. As a result, we often lose sight of our own needs. To be the best mothers, wives, daughters-in-law, and daughters, we need to make time for ourselves. We need to care for our bodies and minds so that we can care for our families.

Hello, dear questioner! It's so nice to meet you in person through words. I'm Hezhu 0072, and I can feel the pain and suffering in your heart. I'll try to describe my point of view in a way that will be helpful and inspiring to you.

You mentioned that you tend to fall into a state where you blame yourself, and you are very grumpy and angry. It's so hard when we feel this way, isn't it? You also said you tend to be emotional with your eldest child, and you have a lot of resentment towards your family of origin. I can feel the beginning of your self-awareness in your words and sentences, and you are aware of your own problems.

It's so important to remember that the first step to self-growth is self-change. Lifelong developmental psychology has shown us that our state or personality is something we can shape and mold. It's crucial to believe that your state is only temporary, give yourself positive mental suggestions, and cheer yourself up little by little.

You also mentioned that your emotions are all over the place because you're at home with your little one all day, every day. It's so hard to find a balance between caring for your child and taking care of yourself, and it's understandable that it's left you feeling a bit drained and emotionally unstable.

At the same time, you are constantly depleting yourself internally. While resenting your parents for not being able to give you what you need, you also behave inappropriately towards your child, and then regret it. What you can be sure of is that you are suffering, sweetie.

Life is about so much more than just your children. Of course, your little ones are the most important thing in the world to you, but if you're not feeling your best, it can also affect them.

It's so important to take some time for yourself! Try to rediscover the old you. You could spend an hour a day watching your favorite TV series or anime, reading a book, or taking time to cultivate a hobby.

You know, while you're taking a little time for yourself, you're also influencing your child in a positive way. It's so great that you love yourself and respect your feelings!

I wish you all the best!

I love you, and so does the world!

Dear mother, I empathize with your situation. As a mother of two, you must be experiencing a considerable degree of fatigue. I extend a virtual embrace to you.

The notion of a discrete workday for a mother is a fallacy. The responsibilities associated with motherhood are continuous and uninterrupted, with no respite.

Given the circumstances, it is reasonable to conclude that you are experiencing fatigue. It is important to note that insufficient sleep can contribute to irritability and anger. It is therefore essential to adjust your schedule and prioritize rest.

It is likely that the influence of the original family and intergenerational inheritance will be introduced to the new family unit to a greater or lesser extent.

Those in your immediate family, including your parents, mother-in-law, and husband, are unable to comprehend your situation due to their lack of awareness of the extent of your fatigue. It is imperative that you seek to alleviate the stress and calm the emotions that are causing you distress.

1. It is recommended that you speak with your closest friend about the situation, contact a helpline, or seek the advice of a qualified professional. This will assist you in identifying the underlying issues and your specific needs.

2. It is imperative to allocate time for personal rejuvenation. Allocating one to two hours of solitude daily is essential for recharging one's batteries and relaxing.

3. It is also recommended that the childcare responsibilities be shared. One option is for the father to assume the childcare duties for one to two hours after work. Alternatively, the childcare responsibilities can be divided between the two parents, with each taking responsibility for one child.

A reduction in one's workload can also facilitate an improvement in the relationship between the child and father.

4. It is imperative to prioritize adequate rest and sleep. A foundation for a revolution is built on a healthy body, and without sufficient rest and sleep, it is challenging to maintain the energy and resilience required to care for a child.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon experience an improvement in your condition.

It is my sincere hope that you will soon experience an improvement in your condition.

If you wouldn't mind, dear, I'd like to give you a hug.

I can empathize with you because I also suffered from postpartum depression for a while.

It was a challenging time, filled with feelings of helplessness and darkness, compounded by the burden of my family's accusations and lack of understanding, as well as my own self-denial and self-blame.

Even the smallest thing that doesn't go my way can sometimes cause a bit of a stir inside, leading to a moment of frustration and self-blame.

This challenging situation led me to question whether I might be experiencing depression.

With time, I was able to gradually adjust and regain my previous sense of enthusiasm and vitality.

I hope that sharing my experience might be helpful to the original poster.

Perhaps it would be helpful to accept what is in front of you.

No matter how I may try to deny it, I recognize that everything in front of me is a result of my choices, whether passive or active.

I chose to marry my husband and have a child. As these are choices I have made,

Perhaps it would be helpful to try to stop complaining about them and accept them unconditionally.

When you can accept everything in front of you, you may find that you are less likely to feel angry.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider what I want.

Perhaps if you accept all the people and things in front of you, and then think about what kind of self you want to be,

Do you find yourself feeling quite drained from the daily responsibilities of caring for your children and husband?

Perhaps you could make time to take care of your mood and dress up?

When you look in the mirror, do you feel satisfied with the reflection you see?

Perhaps you could try turning up the corner of your mouth and filling your face with confidence?

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider whether your mood is influenced by others.

It's not necessarily the case that others think too little of you.

On the other hand, self-suggestion can pave the way for a more open-minded approach to other people's views.

Perhaps the landlord could benefit from taking a moment to focus on their own needs, rather than worrying about what other people think or how their emotions are being affected.

I believe that the original poster did his best, and that he deserves to feel good about himself.

It may be helpful to accept your family of origin and consider how your experiences with them might have contributed to your current situation.

It would be beneficial to understand the influence of the original family. However, when you become an adult, it may be helpful to gradually reduce the influence of the original family.

It is possible that continuing to live in the shadow of your original family may result in transmitting the same life experience to your children that you had in your original family.

Could this be what you want? It's possible that our parents, like us, didn't know how to raise us properly.

Perhaps the best course of action would be to accept our original family and work towards rectifying any harm that may have been caused.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider reducing expectations of others and focusing on finding emotional stability within yourself.

Once you have reduced your expectations of others and found your true self, you will find that you have less to complain about.

Perhaps it would be helpful to consider how to resolve the situation at hand.

Everyone has emotions, and it's important to recognize that they are a natural part of life. The key is to learn how to handle them in a constructive and positive way. It's essential to understand that your emotions shouldn't control you, but rather, you should strive to become the master of your emotions.

I would like to take this opportunity to wish the host a happy life.

I am Warm June, and I extend my love and appreciation to the world.

Indeed, I can empathize with the predicament of the questioner, as I have previously encountered a similar situation.

Firstly, the author of the text has already identified the emotional issues that they are experiencing, which is a positive step. When caring for a child in the role of a mother, it is not the intention to pass on such emotions to the child, however, it is not possible to control them.

The initial step in regulating emotions is to become aware of them and to accept their existence.

It is evident that the questioner is motivated to effect change, and thus we endeavor to assist the family and to regulate our own responses.

Secondly, what is the optimal adjustment strategy?

In this instance, the "golden thinking circle" is employed as a tool to identify the underlying cause of the emotions in question.

In what manner do you behave when your emotions arise? For example, do you become enraged, angry, or frustrated?

In order to ascertain the root cause of the emotion, it is necessary to identify the trigger that has caused it to arise.

To illustrate, the child has persistently knocked over the rice bowl and spilled it across the floor, despite repeated admonishments from the caregiver.

This is an illustrative example, and the questioner is encouraged to identify an analogous example based on their own actual situation.

One must consider whether the true cause of the emotional change is, in fact, the incident itself.

An additional possibility is that the true cause is that each time the child spills the bowl, not only is no assistance provided, but also that someone else is present to criticize and negate the individual in question.

If this is the case, then the underlying cause of the emotional distress is not the act of the child spilling the rice bowl, but rather the lack of recognition and care from those around you, which has led to feelings of rejection.

Third, upon identifying the underlying cause, the appropriate corrective action can then be taken.

In the event that one's family members do not approve or understand, it is recommended that one employs the "Nonviolent Communication" method to express one's needs to them.

The issue at hand is not a matter of emotional expression or complaint; rather, it is a question of...

"I require your recognition and affirmation."

"I require your encouragement."

This allows the individual to inform the other party of their demands and gain the support of family members or friends.

Furthermore, it is essential to allocate time for personal care when caring for children. Even a brief period, such as an hour a day, can significantly enhance one's well-being.

It is recommended that this time be used to engage in activities that are personally fulfilling, with the objective of enhancing one's own sense of well-being.

It is my contention that when one engages in activities that elicit positive emotions, it becomes increasingly easier to regulate one's negative emotional states.

I encourage you to proceed, dear.

There is no other individual present outside the window; only you.

Good day, Mother. From your account, I can comprehend the nature of your distress. Anger is an emotional state. We frequently endeavor to regulate this emotion, yet our efforts frequently prove ineffective. As the adage states, "We reserve our bad temper for the people we love most." Indeed, you directed your bad temper towards your child, but subsequently regretted your actions. It is my hope that my insights can be of benefit to you.

The following section will analyse the emotion of anger.

Let us proceed to a discussion of the nature of anger and its characteristics.

What methods can be employed to regulate this emotion?

First and foremost, anger is one of the fundamental human emotions, distinguished by its explosive nature and destructive potential. Anger originates from the emotion of self-blame intrinsic to the human heart.

The emotion of anger can be observed in newborn infants, who express their anger through vocalization when their movements are restricted.

In psychology, the following definition is provided:

American psychologist Jacques Hillard posited that anger is an "unpleasant internal reaction caused by a sense of injustice and unacceptable frustration."

Thus, the experience of anger indicates that our intrinsic desires have not been fulfilled.

Furthermore, it can be observed that when an individual becomes angry, it is as though the sky has fallen and the earth has shaken. This phenomenon can be demonstrated in physiology as follows: once anger is triggered by external factors, a certain amount of energy is immediately released in the brain, which causes psychological changes such as an increase in heart rate and blood pressure. In instances where our rational thinking has not yet fully responded, we will engage in aggressive and harmful behavior.

The host exhibits harmful behavior.

In this way, we may perceive a further meaning. Verena Kast has stated that "any form of anger implies an aggression against the environment and the surrounding world."

It is evident that when this emotion is dominant, it is not implausible that an individual may engage in uncharacteristic or inappropriate behavior in the immediate context.

Despite the assertion in the article that your upbringing may have exerted an influence,

However, as is the case in any conflict, knowledge is power, and this is also true in the context of anger.

What methods can be employed to regulate the emotion of anger?

Once the nature of anger is understood, self-awareness is enhanced. Anger can be managed and its inherent power harnessed, transforming it into a catalyst for rectifying injustice rather than a means of avoiding confrontation when one is in the right.

As posited by Dr. Ronald, an American expert in the field of emotion management, the duration of an anger-induced emotional outburst is typically limited to 12 seconds. While the initial surge of negative emotions may be overwhelming, the subsequent calm that follows is indicative of the potential for resolution. The ability to control these 12 seconds can prove crucial in mitigating the adverse effects of anger.

It would be beneficial for you to attempt this 12-second emotional control exercise as well. Given that 12 seconds may be insufficient, it would be advantageous to extend the duration to 24 seconds.

As Dr. Ronald, an expert in emotional management, asserts, it is advisable to attempt to regulate the duration of intense negative emotions.

Provided that one is able to exercise control over these 24 seconds, success is assured.

This is the extent of my contribution. It is somewhat verbose, but it is my hope that you will be able to derive benefit from it.

Dear Sir/Madam, I am pleased to be able to answer your question.

From your description, I can ascertain the challenges, pressure, and depression associated with being a stay-at-home parent. I can also discern that when dealing with your eldest child, you attempt to suppress your anger, but if you suppress it for too long, you risk losing control of your emotions. Consequently, after losing your temper with your eldest child, you may fall into a state of deep self-blame. It appears that at present, you are not fully aware of this aspect of yourself, and it seems that you also have negative feelings about your current appearance.

☞Know yourself.

As Socrates said, "Know thyself." This is a dynamic process. In caring for your child full-time, you appear to have gained a deeper understanding of yourself. You seem to recognize that this current situation is not in line with your preferences. You express a desire to resume a lifestyle that includes work, exercise, and a sense of purpose.

Let us examine the situation further. Is your decision to stay at home with your children a personal choice, or is there another factor involved?

If it is your own choice, has the current emotional situation changed from your initial vision? If so, you may feel a sense of loss and disappointment. It appears that your anger towards the outside world is driven by a desire for understanding and acceptance.

If the anger is due to other factors, it is possible that it is directed at the outside world, and that the anger towards the child may also be a kind of projection. Once the anger has been vented, it will result in deep self-blame. This will cause internal conflict. Additionally, it seems that you feel a sense of powerlessness towards the object of your anger. This state of affairs seems to make you very painful.

Fortunately, however, you have recognized the changes in your own behavior and become aware of your emotional state. This awareness is an important first step in addressing the issue.

What is the recommended course of action?

One possible solution is to communicate with family members in a gentle but firm manner, clearly expressing our thoughts and needs.

Healing requires time and courage. When you encounter something that makes you feel uncomfortable, take a few deep breaths, then return to the situation and identify the source of your discomfort.

3. Should the energy in your heart have been depleted to an extent that requires further assistance, it may be advisable to seek the guidance of a professional counselor. This individual can assist you in navigating your emotions, gaining insight into them, and ultimately, achieving inner peace.

The above represents only my personal opinions, and I hope you will find them helpful and inspiring.

I appreciate your consideration.

Greetings! I extend a warm embrace from afar as a gesture of solidarity and support.

It is evident that you have a profound longing to be comprehended, reinforced, and acknowledged.

It is important to note that emotions are neither inherently good nor bad, nor are they necessarily right or wrong. In many instances, emotions are a manifestation of unmet expectations and unfulfilled needs, particularly when they take on a negative quality. It is therefore crucial not to succumb to excessive guilt or self-blame for experiencing intense negative emotional reactions in the presence of one's child.

It is recommended that one attempt to tolerate these distressing emotional sensations, acknowledge their presence, become aware of them, and allow oneself to experience them fully. It is important to identify the underlying needs that are being expressed, such as the desire to be seen, understood, supported, listened to, comforted, and accompanied. Once these needs have been identified, it is essential to consider whether there might be a more effective way to respond to and fulfill them.

For example, one might endeavor to communicate one's feelings and needs to one's spouse or family in a forthright and sincere manner. However, it is crucial to refrain from judging their actions, and instead, express one's authentic inner feelings and needs.

Concurrently, it is advisable to attempt to fulfill and respond to this aspect of your needs through your own actions initially. For instance, it is recommended to respect your authentic physical and mental feelings and needs, relinquish the expectations of being the ideal wife and mother, and endeavor to respond to this aspect of your needs in a timely and appropriate manner. When you experience fatigue, it is beneficial to respond to your physical and mental feelings in a manner that provides comfort in a timely fashion. One potential approach is to engage in meditation for five minutes, take deep breaths, or record your emotions in a timely manner through writing.

When an individual is able to respond to and satisfy their own needs through their own efforts, their sense of inner deprivation and guilt will decrease, as they will no longer attribute their inner needs to others. In this world, no individual has the obligation or responsibility to respond to another's needs except for themselves.

You desire robust support from your partner, and you require the fortitude and assurance to articulate your needs and emotions directly and courageously. He is similarly capable of responding to you naturally and not merely out of obligation.

Although marriage and children are important aspects of one's life, they are not the sole focus. The individual who occupies the primary position in one's life is oneself. Only when one can see oneself can one better perceive the people one loves. What are your thoughts on this matter?

I am Lily, the youngest member of the Q&A Museum. The world and I extend our love to you.

I hope my answer helps you.

As a mother, I understand your feelings. I experienced something similar when I gave birth to my child. My family didn't understand, and they didn't know why my moods were so bad. We felt like we were being unreasonable, but our emotions were like runaway horses, hard to control. It was really hard, wasn't it?

You should go to the hospital for a postpartum depression test. It is likely that your postpartum depression is caused by hormonal changes after giving birth.

We will recover after making adjustments.

Second, our emotions are unstable because we have too many of them. If we don't release them, we will collapse and become irritable. We must find ways to release our emotions.

Become aware of your thoughts when you lose your temper. Ask yourself: Am I angry because I want my family to understand me, but they don't? Am I angry because I want my child to behave, but he keeps misbehaving? Am I angry because I want others to affirm me, but they keep blaming me?

Look at these needs and desires within you. Express them to others. Only when you talk to them can they understand how difficult and aggrieved you are. For example, when a loved one rebukes you, you can say, "You just said that I..." After hearing this, I feel so sad and aggrieved. I really need your support and recognition, not rebukes and blows. I'm not in a good state right now, and I will get better soon. I need your encouragement and support. I need your help when I need it.

Additionally, you can express your feelings and emotions in other ways. Set aside 15 minutes every day to write down your feelings and thoughts in a safe, quiet environment. Write down all the discomfort in your heart, all the grievances and sadness, anger and grief. Do this regularly, and you will find that your emotions become more and more stable.

Seek help from those around you to relieve your stress. Don't suppress yourself to please others.

Take care of yourself so you can take care of others. That's what psychology says, and it's true.

If you are constantly in a bad mood, it will have a negative impact on your children and family. However, you can avoid this by taking care of yourself first and maintaining a good state of mind. When you do this, the whole family will be full of love and harmony because of you.

Seek help from the people around you. If you're too tired, tell your parents you need help for an hour. They'll be happy to help.

Don't blame yourself. Accept and understand yourself. You've already had a hard time as a second-time mother. It's okay. Just because we're not doing well now doesn't mean we'll always be like this. Give yourself time to adjust. You've got this!

I extend my support and encouragement to you in the form of a 360-degree embrace.

From your description of the problem, it can be inferred that this is a common concern among stay-at-home mothers. The daily chores are often perceived as inconsequential, the results are not immediately visible, the family may not fully comprehend the situation, and there is no tangible income. These factors can contribute to emotional instability and self-blame among stay-at-home mothers. However, it is important to recognize that you are not alone in this struggle. Based on your description, it appears that your parents, your grandmother, and your husband all hold differing views on your role.

It is likely that your grandmother and mother perceive your actions as unreasonable because that is how they managed to cope with their responsibilities in the past. They were able to care for their children and manage the household independently, working hard and without complaint. This was a common practice at the time, and therefore, they did not experience any significant challenges.

Your father considers your perspective on the matter to be unreasonable. It is likely that your mother assumed the majority of domestic responsibilities during her marriage, which may have shaped his perception of the ease with which housework and childcare can be managed.

Your husband may perceive your stance as unreasonable, potentially influenced by his mother's actions or shaped by his upbringing in a relatively traditional environment where the male figure is the primary income provider and the female role is confined to domestic responsibilities. In his view, this is the expected role for women. With a single child and two individuals in the family, the workload is relatively limited. It's possible that there were additional children in his family during his upbringing.

In fact, both perspectives are valid. From the viewpoint of your mother and grandmother, this is a situation with which they are familiar, and your father and husband are experiencing difficulty in seeing or accepting it.

Your upbringing has shaped your perspective on gender equality and the role of women in the workforce. This divergence in values can lead to a conflict within the family unit. The adage "Chinese women have changed, but Chinese men are still living in the past" aptly captures this phenomenon.

Indeed, each perspective is valid, yet each entails distinct expectations.

One may choose to disregard the lack of comprehension exhibited by one's parents and grandmother; however, it is imperative to persuade one's spouse to align with the familial approach to childrearing and familial cohesion. It is crucial to ensure that one's spouse does not equate the provision of financial sustenance with the fulfillment of one's role as a parent.

It may be advisable to engage in a discussion with your husband in a calm and rational manner, or alternatively, to seek the assistance of a qualified counselor to facilitate family therapy.

Should one wish to engage in discourse with one's spouse, it would be prudent to consider a few key points.

First, it is essential to consider one's own desires and aspirations.

This entails articulating one's desired outcomes, the manner in which one envisions a transformation in one's current circumstances, and the forms of assistance one anticipates receiving from others.

It is important to consider what changes you would like to see in the future. It is not constructive to simply reiterate your dislike of the current situation; instead, you should clearly state what you would like to see done differently.

Secondly, it is important to demonstrate understanding and empathy for the other person's perspective.

It is important to recognize that everyone has their own unique set of challenges and perspectives. It is not uncommon for there to be a lack of understanding of these differences, which can be unintentional.

It is also important to express agreement and understanding of other people's ideas and thoughts.

In the event that the other person makes a reference to past circumstances, it is advisable to respond in a composed manner, indicating a desire for change.

Thirdly, it is important to allow time for change and to take action oneself.

It is important to recognize that change is a process that requires time and patience. For instance, my husband previously exhibited a reluctance to assist with tasks such as helping someone who had fallen. However, now that I have requested his assistance with cleaning, it has become evident that this approach is not effective. Therefore, it is essential to allow sufficient time for the new dynamic to become established.

It is essential to develop a personal plan, such as if one intends to pursue employment. This plan should include a timeline for securing a job and maintaining the household's operational status during the interim period.

In the event that the proposed undertaking is not viable, but the individual in question wishes to pursue a course of action such as joining a gym or launching a side business, it is essential to devise a plan and a timetable. This will enable the individual to demonstrate to their partner the actions they intend to take and their determination to succeed.

The process may be fraught with contention and miscommunication, but it is imperative to ascertain one's true desires. When confronted with disapproval or even vehement opposition, it is crucial to maintain composure and resolve, even if it is merely an act. It is essential to demonstrate resoluteness in one's words and actions.

It would be advisable to consult with a counselor. Initially, it would be beneficial to persuade your husband to accompany you.

I am frequently a Buddhist and occasionally a pessimist, yet I also serve as a source of positive counsel. I extend my love to the world.

Hugs to you, full-time mom. You don't get paid for working full-time. I understand.

Caring for a baby or child takes courage and sacrifice. You give up your time, energy, and feelings to put the child's needs first.

This is a big drain on a person. If you don't get support and understanding, you will feel tired.

Caring for a small life is not easy, let alone two children at the same time. Can someone in the family share the burden, even if it is just an hour or two of free time during the day?

Children need a healthy, relaxed mother who loves and cares for herself. She is a role model and source of energy for them.

Having children can make a woman reflect on her life. Every mother has this experience. There is a lot to think about when it comes to understanding your family of origin. If you can't get support, you can seek counseling.

I hope you get better for yourself. When you're well, everything will be well.