At 24, I dropped out of junior high school and was completely devastated. I shut myself away at home for 10 years.

After reading about the OP's experience, I don't think it's at all funny, but I have a lot of respect for it.

The questioner is 24 years old. He's had a rough time since elementary school, but he's not giving up. He dropped out of school in the second year of junior high but still looks for learning opportunities. He even took out his own savings to register for the self-study exam. His work and life should be tough, but he still managed to save money to prepare for his studies. That sense of conviction is really admirable!

After a recent setback, his father's ridicule and sarcasm became the last straw, completely crushing the questioner. There's a limit to how much people can take. When this limit is reached, all accumulated negative emotions come to the surface at once, as if the whole world is collapsing and there's no hope left.

On the other hand, there's a concept called "bottoming out and rebounding." Since you've reached the lowest point in your life today, tomorrow can't be any lower. It'll be better than today, even if only a little. Once you've released all the negative emotions, you'll have mental space to "make room," and you can fill it with more positive things to slowly begin to regain your strength.

I think the OP could really benefit from having someone who gets it to help them analyze the current situation, figure out a future direction, and see which path they can and should take.

Teachers and principals from junior high school, classmates with good relationships from junior high, or doctors in the hospital and police officers at the police station are all likely to be helpful.

The questioner has only asked for help from the people around him, such as his parents, neighbors, and relatives. In such a large town with tens of thousands of people, there are always a few people with a positive outlook on the world and on life. There is always one or two people who have had the same experience as the questioner and have found a way to "make it through."

Having courage is one of the most important factors in achieving happiness. The greatest courage in life is maintaining an optimistic attitude and pursuing happiness in extremely difficult situations.

Greetings. I am the place of peace. I am grateful for our encounter.

First and foremost, I extend my sincerest congratulations and express my profound admiration for your resilience and determination.

Your childhood was incomplete, you lacked paternal affection, and your mother was unable to provide the level of support you required.

You were marginalized at school, and when you sought assistance from your parents, you were met with your father's persistent urging and your mother's indifference.

At a time when the support and care of one's parents would have been most beneficial, this was not forthcoming. When the support and help of one's parents was required, it was not forthcoming.

After reading the description in the question, I empathize with your situation. After dropping out of school, you were able to recognize the value of education, rekindle your motivation to continue your studies, and work diligently.

I would like to take this opportunity to affirm that you are an admirable individual.

However, it appeared that life was deliberately making things challenging for you, seemingly reluctant to provide what you desired. This seemed to convey the implication that your efforts were futile, as if to say, "It is fortunate you did not pass the examination. You invested half a year preparing for it."

I believe that I can empathize with and comprehend the full spectrum of your emotional experiences, including the pain, resentment, anger, and the simultaneous feelings of helplessness and confusion.

It is reasonable to posit that a significant number of individuals would find it challenging to rebound from such a series of circumstances.

Furthermore, your willingness to inquire about this matter and to seek assistance from others indicates that you have not lost hope. It may be inferred that you still aspire for change and a better life, one that is more exciting.

When your parents were unable to provide you with the necessary support, you expanded your scope of possibilities and sought assistance from external sources. This demonstrates a certain wisdom, courage, and resilience in the face of adversity.

In this respect, you have already surpassed many people. Therefore, you are truly exceptional and deserve a better self and a better life.

Given the limitations of the description, I would like to pose a few questions to gain further insight. Is that acceptable?

What was the response of your parents when you ceased your studies in the second year of secondary school? Was it one of indifference?

Were they heartbroken?

Please describe your emotional state in the face of their reaction.

Have any discussions regarding future development or life plans been held?

Please describe your activities during the period between dropping out of school and attempting to take the college entrance examination. Did you engage in any academic pursuits at home?

Did you reside with your parents and rely on them for financial support? Alternatively, did you consider pursuing a trade or vocational skill?

Does the ten-year period in question pertain to the interval since the individual in question ceased his or her studies in the second year of junior high school?

Even after reaching the age of 18, you have consistently resided at your family's domicile and have never been gainfully employed in an external setting.

If so, what is the rationale behind this decision? Is it driven by a sense of apprehension or trepidation?

Is it a lack of courage, or is it fear?

Do you perceive yourself to lack qualifications and skills, thereby limiting your prospects of securing employment? Alternatively, have you not considered this possibility?

Please describe your emotional state during the past ten years.

Has there been a change in your parents' attitude towards you over the past ten years? To what extent is your relationship with them currently positive?

It is plausible that the attitude of one's parents when one is young may instill a profound sense of insecurity, leading to an instinctive rejection of society and people outside.

You experience a lack of friendliness and perceive that venturing outside your home will expose you to external threats. A profound sense of unease instills a state of trepidation, impeding your ability to take that step.

If this is the case, then the energy in your body should be gradually awakening from the moment you were willing to write this question, would you not agree? The courage you lack is slowly returning, would you not say?

Are you prepared to muster the courage to become an enhanced version of yourself?

It is recommended that the individual in question engage in activities that facilitate the rekindling of passion, vitality, and hope. This is particularly important given that the individual is only 24 years old and the future holds a multitude of potential outcomes.

Do not hastily dismiss my assertion as implausible.

It would be prudent to take a moment to calm down, think carefully, explore deeply, face the real you honestly, and then embrace the opportunity to express regret for having neglected this aspect of your life for so long.

Now that I have had the opportunity to observe you, I am able to accept you unreservedly. I am prepared to accompany you on your journey of self-improvement.

"

Once an individual begins to genuinely accept and believe in themselves, transformation will occur gradually. It is essential to recognize that such change is a deserved outcome.

I extend my sincerest wishes for your well-being.

In conclusion, regardless of the attitude exhibited by one's parents, it is imperative to recognize that it represents the most effective approach they are capable of employing. It is essential to acknowledge that all parents possess a profound love for their children, yet they may be constrained by certain perceptions and may not always express their affection in the most optimal manner.

Hello, host! Your description of your childhood experiences and growth encounters touched me deeply.

The host has had a really hard time, but they have never given up. They deserve kudos for their perseverance. As long as you don't give up, life will slowly get better. The host has the courage to have gone through 24 years like this, and they will definitely have the courage to be happy.

Your experience is reminiscent of Alfred Adler, an Austrian psychiatrist and psychologist regarded as one of the "Big Three" of psychology, along with Freud and Jung. Adler had a challenging upbringing. He was weak and sickly from an early age, very short, hunched, and a poor student, despised and bullied at school.

Despite his short stature and poor health, Adler was often compared unfavourably to his tall and handsome older brother, which made him feel very inferior. Furthermore, Adler had very bad luck: he was hit by a car twice and almost died of pneumonia when he was five years old.

He studied hard and became the top student in his class. He aspired to become a doctor because he often fell ill as a child and was admitted to the University of Vienna to study for a medical doctorate. He gained the appreciation of the world's most famous psychologist, Sigmund Freud, and studied with him for nine years, becoming a core member of the Vienna Psychoanalytic Association presided over by Freud.

However, Adler later distanced himself from his teacher. He saw Freud's theory of causality as a lifelong trap, and believed that those who had suffered childhood trauma could not escape their past and rebuild their lives. He published three papers criticising his former teacher, and then set up on his own with some followers, founding individual psychology. He went on to become a master of his generation.

Adler's own life experience is an exciting textbook on counterattacks. It gave birth to his own psychological theories.

Freud believed that human destiny was determined by our biological instincts, while Adler emphasized the influence of social factors on people. He was certain that each of us is not imprisoned by our instincts or the past. We can completely redefine the past and strive to achieve self-improvement through our own efforts to gain the life and happiness we want.

I strongly advise the original poster to read "The Courage to Be Disliked." Despite being written by someone other than Adler, the subtitle is "The Father of Self-Inspiration," and this book has a greater impact on people than "Inferiority Complex and Its Overcoming," which was written by Adler himself.

Dear host, Life is full of misfortune and you are at the mercy of events. You fantasize about living a different life. Life has given us constraints. We are bound by interpersonal relationships and conflicts: a weak and indecisive mother, an indifferent and unconcerned father, narrow-minded and meddling neighbors, ruthless online scammers, unfriendly classmates, and a father who looks down on us.

These constraints come from one place only: our hearts. Adler frees us from them and restores our spiritual freedom.

The book clearly outlines one of the three fundamental bonds that people must break free from in their lives. The first is to break free from the bonds of the past. Many psychologists assert that people are the products of their past experiences, particularly their childhood. Even most of us would agree with this, as past experiences have shaped who we are today. This is a simple concept to grasp.

Our past experiences become subconscious and determine our lives. However, Adler is clear that what matters is not the past at all, but how you view the past.

Our views on the past can and should be changed by our subjective perceptions.

People often say, "I don't believe in love because I was hurt in a past relationship." Or, "My withdrawn personality is because my parents didn't want to communicate with me when I was little, and they also beat me a lot."

I don't want a warm family life because my parents' divorce caused me great harm.

I'll give you an example. Two brothers, both living in the same family, suffered from their parents' quarrels and divorce. The elder brother saw the misfortune of his parents' marriage and believed he would not have a happy marriage either. After marriage, he became a carbon copy of his parents. The younger brother saw the misfortune of his parents' marriage and told himself he must be happy. He loves and cares for his wife and spends time with his children. After marriage, the younger brother has a happy and fulfilling family life.

This is Adler's teleological theory. Looking for reasons in the past is to free oneself from the past and make one's own changes for future happiness. There is a big difference in the lives of the brother and the younger brother after they get married because they have different views on past experiences.

The host is certain that this is the case.

The book also describes another case: a young man's friend is a person who has hidden in his room for many years. He is desperate to go outside, but as soon as he steps out of the room, he immediately feels heart palpitations and his hands and feet start to shake.

The philosopher stated, "In other words, your friend had the goal of not going out first, and only afterwards, in order to achieve this goal, did he create emotions such as unease and fear." Adlerian psychology calls this teleology.

The young man demanded, "Is it possible that my friend is happy to shut himself in his room? He did not choose this path, but was forced to do so."

The philosopher saw the crux of the matter and told the young man, "If your friend thinks he has been abused by his parents and cannot adapt to society, it means that there is an underlying purpose that has driven him to believe that. Then think from the parents' perspective. If your child always stays in his room, what would you think?"

The youth says, "Of course I'm worried. I need to know how to get him to return to society, how to cheer him up, and if I've made a mistake with my own education." You will definitely rack your brains over questions like these, and at the same time, you will definitely find ways to help him return to society.

The philosopher said, "This is the problem. If you stay at home all the time, your parents will be very worried, and you can focus all their attention on you and receive their careful care. But if you even step outside your home, you will become part of the unremarkable majority that no one pays attention to. You will become a very ordinary person in the vast crowd, or even a mediocre person who is inferior to others, and no one will pay attention to you.

This is simply a matter of human psychology. We tend to avoid harm and seek gain, so it's more beneficial to stay at home.

It's time to get out there. Find a job, be self-reliant, and support yourself. While working, you'll experience the joy and hardship of earning your own money while continuing to learn. Learn a trade, such as cooking, car maintenance, or decorating, which are suitable for boys. This will directly improve your ability and skills in life, while also broadening your horizons and enriching your experiences. In your spare time, continue learning.

Learning is not only possible in school, and not only by studying textbooks. There's no doubt about it: society is a great university that truly enables people to support themselves, empowers them, and makes them valuable.

You can learn from others' ways of dealing with people and problems by working with them. You can learn from the masters by reading and studying on your own. You can broaden your horizons, participate in community activities, and enrich your life experiences by doing so. In fact, summarizing past life experiences is also learning. Every experience is a cognitive learning lesson. The host is only 24 years old, and it's the prime of your life. Go out and experience life. I know the host will find happiness in his life in the near future!

I am distressed to see you living alone in a tiny apartment for 10 years.

It's disheartening to see your parents, who never offered you comfort, simply stating that the family is poor and that you have to make them proud. From a child's perspective, she may not fully comprehend what it means to make her parents proud or what she needs to do to do so.

When a child is bullied, she needs her parents to give her a big hug and help her vent her anger. If her parents don't do this, the child will feel hurt again, and this will leave her feeling weak and at a loss.

It has not been easy, but I have made it through the years.

You have tried hard to learn, and although you have encountered some setbacks, you have tried your best. You can be assertive. You have planted some seeds of hope, and although you cannot see the fruit of your labor yet, you have continued to want to learn and further your studies. You have gained a lot of knowledge in the process, and this knowledge is yours to keep. It will become a part of your life and play a role when you need it.

You've made it this far, and you've learned a lot along the way. It's time to let go of the past. You can't choose your parents, but you can choose how you think about them. Now that you're an adult, look at them from an adult's perspective. Parents are just like you—they have their own limitations and challenges. They want their children to do well, but they don't always know how to help. You've worked hard to do well, and you can do it.

Due to the era and regional restrictions, parents often had limited information and language expression. When my father said, "You'll regret it later," was he trying to stop you from doing something? This sentence is oppressive and restrictive. He couldn't express it in other words, so he had to use this language. Was there any worry behind this sentence? Think from your father's perspective and consider the thoughts behind his words.

Everything in this world, every flower and every blade of grass, has its own value. As a human being, it is our duty to discover our own value. Introverts have an advantage.

Paying attention to the heart, being delicate and sensitive, and thinking more comprehensively when doing things are all advantages.

In today's internet age, there are endless online resources and countless ways to learn. You can find whatever you need on the internet and make good use of online resources to learn various knowledge and skills. When your heart becomes more and more enriched, you will become more and more confident. Life will not let down those who actively seek, work hard, and wait for their time to come.

I appreciate your willingness to answer this question.

After carefully reviewing the material, I commend your resilience and assurance. Despite the challenges you have faced, you have consistently demonstrated the ability to persevere and move forward. Despite the setbacks you have experienced due to a lack of kindness, you have maintained an optimistic outlook on the potential for kindness in human nature. Your decision to seek assistance, despite the risk of further deception and ridicule, is commendable. I am unsure if I would have the same resolve after experiencing the same difficulties.

The past ten years have presented significant challenges for you. Your parents were unable to provide assistance, your classmates engaged in bullying behavior, and the individual you trusted the most betrayed you. Due to a lack of information, you missed numerous opportunities to resume your education. You were unable to take the college entrance exam like most individuals and instead opted for a vocational school.

After investing significant effort, it appears that you have not achieved the desired outcome. While you still have some remaining strength and confidence, your father's words have significantly undermined your position. This decision will likely have long-term consequences.

It may be the case that you have come to believe that the bitter end should be followed by sweet. However, your father's words make you feel that the suffering you have endured before is nothing, and that the worst is yet to come.

Furthermore, the length of the projected timeline may be perceived as interminable.

After a lengthy journey, when you are fatigued and in need of solace, how can you not be devastated when you encounter this kind of "curse"-like attack from your defenseless family members?

However, I would like to request that you remain in this state of "collapse" for a brief period to allow for the release of accumulated emotions and fatigue. It is recommended that you take a brief period of rest.

Once you have had time to recuperate, you should be ready to resume your activities. You are only 24 years old, so it is unlikely that a single word from your father will have a significant impact on your life.

Given that you achieved success without your parents' support at a young age, why should you heed their advice now?

I am confident that the information I have provided will be of benefit to you. I hope that you find the parts of my reply that are most helpful. Best regards,

Hello! I just wanted to give you a warm hug from afar.

I'm so happy I saw your request for help! I really hope that sharing my experience can give you some support and help.

You should give yourself a big pat on the back for getting through all those challenges in life, for never complaining, and for never giving up, even though you didn't get much love in your childhood. Our family of origin and parents are not something we can choose for ourselves. What we can do is try to learn to accept them better.

It's important to remember that parents don't intend to cause emotional harm to their children. They are also children who were not treated well and grew up lacking love. This makes it difficult for them to give you emotional support and respond to you in the way you need. But you can heal and nurture yourself again through your own active growth. If you are willing, what do you say?

It's so important to accept what we cannot change, and change what we can. We can't control everything in life, but we can choose how we react to things. What makes us feel frustrated, hurt, or painful in life is not the people and things we experience, but more the way we perceive and interpret what we experience. This makes us feel different emotions and experience different feelings.

In other words, when you can attribute more of the misfortunes and setbacks in your life to external, special accidents and uncontrollable factors, you will view the misfortunes that occur from a more positive perspective. You will not be overly frustrated or self-defeating as a result, but will instead try to find a better way to deal with setbacks and misfortunes.

It's also important for you to try to learn to accept yourself better and cultivate self-confidence. You can see both your shortcomings and your strengths, and you shouldn't define or judge yourself by the results of what you do. If you don't do something well, it just means that you are not good at it or that you weren't prepared enough. You're not a bad person, and you'll get better with practice!

Hi, I'm Lily, the little Q&A Museum listener. I just wanted to say that I love you all and I love this world of yours!

It is encouraging to see a child putting in the effort to become stronger. I am here to offer any assistance I can.

You express regret at not having completed your studies. Based on your experiences, I empathize with your situation and acknowledge your feelings of helplessness.

Modern society offers numerous opportunities for learning and professional development. It is important not to lose sight of your goals and to persevere in your pursuit of knowledge and certification.

Your ten years of residence at home have made you aware of the value of self-reliance and self-improvement. The road ahead is long, but it is within your control. The crucial first step is to take action.

First, identify your areas of interest and expertise, such as painting and music, and assess whether you possess any skills that could be monetized. A good starting point is to focus on your hobbies and specialties.

While your father's intentions are to motivate you to improve, he lacks the ability to express himself effectively. As a result, it's important not to take his words at face value. Many of us adults, when trying to help our children, often mean well but end up causing more harm than good.

It is important to understand his message. He is sorry for you. However, when you choose a clear path to follow, your family will undoubtedly be your strongest support.

You may also find it beneficial to read books, including celebrity biographies. These can provide valuable insights and inspiration. Reading can also be a source of strength.

The path is clear before you. I encourage you to take the initiative. A diploma is not the only qualification that matters. Many practical skills are more valuable.