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By Anonymous | Published on December 18, 2024
Hello! I'd like to extend a warm hug from afar to you.
It is understandable that you may have experienced trauma caused by a pair of over-controlling parents. From an early age, you may have felt that your inner self-boundaries were being destroyed, as you were consistently chosen and decided upon by those around you. This could have resulted in a loss of autonomy in making independent choices and decisions for your life. Consequently, you may have developed a sense of inferiority and a lack of self-confidence in interpersonal relationships. What are your thoughts on this matter?
For parents with a strong desire for control, they may interpret their increased control over you as love, consideration, and care. However, as a child, you may feel more like your rights and freedom are being taken away. When dealing with parents with a strong desire for control, it's important to recognize when certain words or actions make you uncomfortable and hurt your inner self-boundaries. In these moments, it's essential to express your true feelings with bravery and sincerity. It's crucial to avoid judging their words or actions. Instead, focus on expressing your inner feelings and gently but firmly tell them that you want to try to do this on your own because you have the ability and believe you can do it well.
It seems that your mother's desire to control you has always made you feel uncomfortable and unhappy. However, you have been somewhat reluctant to try to bravely and actively cut off your parents' control. This suggests that you may also have benefited to a certain extent from your parents' control. For instance, they take meticulous care of you, actively avoid many risks for you, and take on a lot of responsibilities for you, which means that you rarely experience taking responsibility for your own mistakes. What are your thoughts on this?
It might be helpful to consider that the premise of change is acceptance. This could mean acknowledging the positive aspects of your parents' desire for control, while also recognizing the limitations it has imposed. You may then wish to explore ways of gradually breaking free from your parents' control in a way that feels right for you.
My name is Lily, and I'm the little ear of the Q&A Museum. I hope you'll accept my love for you and the world.
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Comments
I'm really sorry to hear about everything you're going through. It sounds like your mom has very strict rules, and it's tough dealing with that pressure every day. I hope you can find some peace in other areas of your life.
Life must be incredibly hard for you, especially with such a heavy family history. Your situation seems so challenging, especially with the rigid schedule your mother enforces. It's important to take care of yourself amidst all this.
It's heartbreaking to hear about your struggles at home. The loss of your brother and the pressure from your parents must weigh heavily on you. Try to find someone you trust to talk to, maybe a teacher or a counselor who can offer support.
Thank you for sharing your story. It sounds like you're under a lot of stress with your mom's expectations and the timing issues. Maybe there's a way to discuss your feelings with her or another adult who can help mediate.
Your circumstances sound really difficult, particularly with the tight control over daily routines. It might help to look for small ways to gain some independence or express your needs, even if it's just talking to someone outside of your family.