Can't get angry, is this normal? Is it a psychological defense mechanism?

Hello, question asker. From your description, it is clear that you are someone who prefers relatively stable emotions and does not fluctuate greatly.

You have become aware of the emotional changes in your growth process by reviewing the experiences of your friends, which shows that you have a good awareness of your emotions.

Your current situation is undoubtedly related to your family of origin. Your father took out debts and led you to attempt suicide three times when you were a child. This kind of behavior left a deep psychological shadow on you, which led to self-harming behavior for a period of time afterwards.

You had a fight with your grandmother because you wanted to live in a separate room, and you thought your mother would understand and help you. She didn't. You expected more understanding and support from her, and you didn't get it. After an emotional outburst, you tried to let off steam, but in the end, the venting didn't bring the corresponding effect.

This series of events has made your subconscious fear emotional outbursts and want to escape your original family relationships. So for your younger brother's theft, you rationally feel that you should do or say something, but the subconscious fear makes you end up doing nothing. You need to stop letting this happen.

The fear of venting emotions in family relationships will affect your other relationships, such as caring for classmates, friendships, etc. However, you can avoid this by venting your emotions more often, maintaining emotional stability, and treating everything with an ordinary heart. The fear of venting emotions will gradually take over.

You will become less angry if you continue this cycle over time.

Each of us has different life experiences, so it's only natural that our emotions and mood swings will be different when we experience the same thing. I don't need to demand that I react to things in the same way as other people.

As long as it doesn't affect our normal lives, we must calmly accept our emotional changes and fluctuations. We don't force or deliberately act on happiness and joy, or sadness and anger. Being true to ourselves is the best.

What do you think? I want to know your opinion.

Dear questioner, I want to tell you something really important: everyone's emotional response is unique, and there is no fixed model that can be applied to everyone. This means that the fact that you cannot get angry or furious is not necessarily an abnormality or a manifestation of a psychological defense mechanism.

From your description, I can tell you've had some amazing experiences! Family problems, friends' troubles, and your own emotional ups and downs—you've seen it all. These experiences have shaped you into the incredible person you are today. When you face certain situations, you no longer get angry or upset as easily as you used to.

This doesn't mean you've lost your emotions! It just means your heart is searching for a more peaceful and tolerant way to face life's ups and downs.

Sometimes, we're so mature and rational that we don't even get angry or furious! We've accepted certain facts deep down inside, or we've found a way to deal with our emotions that's more positive and healthy. And that's a great thing!

Of course, sometimes we may be confused or unsure about our emotional reactions. But don't worry! At such times, we can try to analyze our emotions from multiple perspectives, for example by asking ourselves: Why do I feel this way?

What am I worried about? What can I do to feel more comfortable and at ease?

I'd also like to share a wonderful story I heard. There was a girl who grew up in a family full of quarrels and violence.

Growing up, she found it difficult to be angry or upset with others because she felt that it would make her like her parents. But she didn't lose her emotions!

Incredibly, she has learned to face life's ups and downs with greater tolerance and understanding, and she has become more mature and stronger!

In psychology, we often refer to the fascinating concept of "emotional regulation." Emotional regulation is all about how we manage our emotions in order to better adapt to our environment, interact with others, and achieve our personal goals.

When we face stress, challenges, or difficulties, we have the amazing opportunity to learn how to regulate our emotions in order to maintain inner peace and stability.

From your description, it's clear you've developed a fantastic ability to face life's challenges with a tolerant and understanding attitude. This is a truly valuable skill that will help you navigate life's twists and turns with confidence.

However, I also understand that you are confused and disturbed by your inability to feel angry or enraged. The good news is that I can give you some advice on how to change this!

The first thing you can do is share your feelings and experiences with someone you trust in a safe environment. This is a great way to gain a deeper understanding of your inner world and receive lots of support and understanding in return!

Second, it's time to learn some amazing emotional regulation techniques and methods! These include deep breathing, meditation, and journaling. These techniques and methods can help you better manage your emotions and make you more calm and confident when facing challenges and difficulties.

Finally, if you find that your emotional problems have affected your daily life and work, I wholeheartedly encourage you to seek help from a professional counselor. They can help you gain a deeper understanding of your inner world and provide you with more professional and effective methods of emotional regulation.

In short, dear questioner, your emotional response is normal and unique. Don't worry too much about whether you are "normal." You are perfectly normal! Learn how to better manage your emotions and live a healthier and happier life.

I know you can do it! You'll find your way and live the life you want. Best of luck!

Hello, question asker. I can sense that you may be experiencing some confusion and uncertainty about why you find it challenging to express your anger openly. It seems that when you do express this part of yourself, it's as if you are talking about someone else's business.

As you mentioned, it would be helpful to understand whether you believe you should be angry. In the past, during your growth, the few times you remember being angry seem to have had no effect, and may have even brought you other emotions.

As you reflect, it might be helpful to consider whether you have a defense mechanism that isolates you from these emotions.

It is also possible that this is the case. In the past, getting angry may not have been an effective strategy, but instead it may have led to feelings of self-blame and guilt, which can make it difficult to face oneself.

It seems that you have come to recognize that this isolation may be causing you to feel somewhat out of alignment with your true self. You have expressed a willingness to connect more deeply with your emotions, which is an encouraging step forward.

If it is of interest to you, you might consider beginning with something that has previously caused you distress, such as the incident with your grandmother, or a recent occurrence that has prompted feelings of anger, even if you do not fully identify with them. This could be an opportunity to gain insight into your own emotional landscape. What are your feelings?

Could I ask if you are feeling a little angry? Or perhaps a little scared?

Perhaps you are feeling a little sad. It is perfectly okay if you are not. The important thing is that we learn to pay attention to our thoughts and emotions and learn to care for ourselves. This will help us to gradually become different.

I wish you the best. Everyone has their own way of dealing with the world. It may feel a little rigid at the moment, but it's not unusable. With time and practice, you can develop more ways of dealing with the world so that you can live comfortably.